Paige Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 We have 10 people coming to our house today. DS woke up puking w/ a headache. He was playing w/ a friend earlier in the week who left because he started to feel unwell and began throwing up. I think he's obviously sick and contagious. We called the family members and they don't care and are not changing their plans. They are spending the night. What's wrong w/people? I understand it would be disappointing to cancel, but I don't get it. Some of the guests are in delicate health too. I think there must be 2 kinds of families- those that respect illness and stay away and those that just don't care. I am of the former...I wouldn't want to go to someone's house with a sick child. I don't like vomit, headaches, sore throats, or coughs. DH is undisturbed and says he knew that's what they'd say and we will simply quarantine DS to minimize the risks. Mmmkay....so on the holiday, he gets to stay in his room, sick, and listen to everyone having fun? JAWM. I don't want to hear the other side of the story- I've heard it already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dana Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Yikes! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysteryJen Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Really? They are still coming over? That is crazy. Who in their right mind would expose themselves to a stomach bug? I would not even give them the option to come. It is too bad, but that is the way life goes sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 That's a bummer for him. What would make his quarantine more fun. Can you put a computer or tv in his room a get him a couple of new movies? New electronic game? I would at some points during the visit allow ds to come out of his room. I'd make announcement "ds is coming to sit on the porch for a while. If you have concerns about getting sick you might leave the porch, now" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valley Girl Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 I'm sorry your DS is sick. I hope he feels better. Is it too late the call them back and say you're not up to handling company with illness in the house and so are cancelling the event outright? If you're just stuck with the situation, can you focus on making your son's "quarantine" as pleasant as possible? For instance, if you have a TV in your bedroom, let him use that as his sick room and take turns with your husband watching movies with him or playing board games (to the extent he feels able). Give him special attention to make up for missing the fun. That's tough to do when you have guests but since they've been told your son is ill, I'd let them fend for themselves as much as possible and put the kiddo first. You'd think people would appreciate a heads up to help them avoid getting sick. Again, sorry your weekend is working out this way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXBeth Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Why would he have to be quarantined? You warned them, and they chose to risk illness. The results are on them. Let your DS participate in the holiday as much as he wants to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerileanne99 Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 And not just that they might be exposed, because that will eventually be their problem. How about the fact that it is unfair to both the child and the mom/parents who are now put under additional stress as they care for their sick kid:( Sorry your son is unwell, and that he probably will be less than thrilled to be unable to partake in all of the festivities. I agree, I would also allow him to join in as he is able. Take precautions you would normally (his own cup, keep distance, etc.) but not specifically quarantine him the entire time. Hope he feels better soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 I agree with Beth. Your guests chose to come when they knew you had a sick child. If your son feels well enough to participate or just be with the family, he should be allowed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink and Green Mom Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 My inlaws are famous for this. Then they seem to not understand how their children end up sick three days later. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 We have 10 people coming to our house today. DS woke up puking w/ a headache. He was playing w/ a friend earlier in the week who left because he started to feel unwell and began throwing up. I think he's obviously sick and contagious. We called the family members and they don't care and are not changing their plans. They are spending the night. What's wrong w/people? I understand it would be disappointing to cancel, but I don't get it. Some of the guests are in delicate health too. I think there must be 2 kinds of families- those that respect illness and stay away and those that just don't care. I am of the former...I wouldn't want to go to someone's house with a sick child. I don't like vomit, headaches, sore throats, or coughs. DH is undisturbed and says he knew that's what they'd say and we will simply quarantine DS to minimize the risks. Mmmkay....so on the holiday, he gets to stay in his room, sick, and listen to everyone having fun? JAWM. I don't want to hear the other side of the story- I've heard it already. I agree. We once drove 5 hours to visit friends and *on the way* and nearly there ds1 got sick. Not throwing up, but he did have a fever. It came on quite quickly. We had no idea he was sick before we left. Friends decided they would risk having lunch with us but that was about all we were willing to do--they also had young children. We were supposed to stay with them but decided to stay in a hotel to keep them from getting sick. And we thought it would just be easier for ds1 not to be around more people. Then the next day we had to drive the 5 hours back home. It was definitely disappointing but something we felt we had to do. So sorry your relatives aren't more understanding. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
City Mouse Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 It sounds like you must have left the option open when you called them instead of just telling them that son was sick and you were canceling. If you really didn't want them to come, you should have said that. I will admit that I would have chosen to stay away in that situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Don't quarantine your son. Let him me in whatever part of the house he is most comfortable in and worry about taking care of him. I wouldn't even be playing hostess to them honestly. If your dh is fine with them being there then let him play host. Its too much stress taking care of the stomach bug let alone dealing with an event. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 I am SHOCKED. I'd be making DH call all of those people back to say something like, "I'm sorry, but Junior is really unwell and OF COURSE Paige wants to care for him properly, downstairs where he can be comfortable, without the added work of hosting an event. My first thought was to quarantine him if you wanted to come anyway, but the two of them would be too miserable confined to his bedroom for the duration, so we're going to have to cancel this time. Thanks for understanding." If he is so determined to host these people anyway let him hire a hotel and knock himself out. (It's not that I think DH is the enemy; he's just trying to play to the middle. He probably needs a script and a dirty look and he'll do it. But those people are imposing on you. Who says that? Your kid is puking his brains out and you are taking care of him but we'll just show up for the weekend? What?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Okra Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Call them back! Tell them you are so sorry but you do not feel that you host them as well as take care of a sick child. Plus, Dear child wants to sit and watch TV in the living room. (Sick children get that privilege, they do not have to stay in their rooms. Call them back!!!! Just let them know you would have been happy to host had everyone been well. It's okay if they grumble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Uh, no. No they are not coming over. What the frack is wrong with people. Do not lift a finger to host these people. Make your husband quarantine THEM to a small space if he persists in this stupid idea. I hope your son vomits on whoever it is who thinks this is a good idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Lock the doors and hide behind the furniture until they leave. Mostly kidding, but there's no way you should have to try to host and care for a sick kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Whoa. I would not be having people over. We have had to cancel a lot of events because of a kid's sickness. It is a disappointment but... no. So sorry you have to deal with this. Your husband suggested the quarantine idea? Wow. Quarantine yourself with him and let your husband handle the guests. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSmomof2 Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 I'm sorry your ds is sick, hopefully it passes quickly. I, too, can't believe your guests would still want to come over. I could see maybe if he just had a cold. But I would never even consider coming to someone's house when there's puking going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 I would be so grateful you were honest. So many times I've showed up to an event only to discover the sick child. Grrr. I also wouldn't want people in my house if I was dealing with puke. I would also be nervous of coming down with it myself while trying to entertain company. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 If it were family I wouldn't really be upset if they still wanted to come over because in my house we do not treat family as guests and they'd take care of all the food, distracting other kids, etc. So I could focus on taking care of a sick kid. But if it were friends or my family wasn't like that I'd simply not open the door. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted July 4, 2014 Author Share Posted July 4, 2014 If it were family I wouldn't really be upset if they still wanted to come over because in my house we do not treat family as guests and they'd take care of all the food, distracting other kids, etc. So I could focus on taking care of a sick kid. But if it were friends or my family wasn't like that I'd simply not open the door. This is how the family feels. They just don't care. It's not new situation, but one that is so foreign to me that I am continually amazed. After 20yrs! Dh was raised that way and doesn't see the big deal either. They'd rather get sick and see us than not see us. Which I guess is sweet, in a way. It would be terribly hard to insist on canceling when they protest so much. They would be insulted. I am not going to quarantine DS. We have a sick chair in the main room and he can go there if he wants and he can go to bed if he wants. I really hope the people w/ health issues keep their distance. I'm not really mad. I just don't get it. Who would deliberately expose themselves to this? I hate vomit so much that I wish I could leave. Thankfully DS is old enough now that he usually makes it to the bathroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink and Green Mom Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 This is how the family feels. They just don't care. It's not new situation, but one that is so foreign to me that I am continually amazed. After 20yrs! Dh was raised that way and doesn't see the big deal either. They'd rather get sick and see us than not see us. Which I guess is sweet, in a way. It would be terribly hard to insist on canceling when they protest so much. They would be insulted. I am not going to quarantine DS. We have a sick chair in the main room and he can go there if he wants and he can go to bed if he wants. I really hope the people w/ health issues keep their distance. I'm not really mad. I just don't get it. Who would deliberately expose themselves to this? I hate vomit so much that I wish I could leave. Thankfully DS is old enough now that he usually makes it to the bathroom. If I didn't know better I'd swear you were my sister in law. Let me guess - they also don't understand that you don't want to go to their house when their kid is sick, right? As in, "well he started antibiotics this morning so what is the big deal?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Yes, but what about you? How can you be expected to hostess and take care of a sick child too? What if the whole house gets sick? Ugh! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 This is how the family feels. They just don't care. It's not new situation, but one that is so foreign to me that I am continually amazed. After 20yrs! Dh was raised that way and doesn't see the big deal either. They'd rather get sick and see us than not see us. Which I guess is sweet, in a way. It would be terribly hard to insist on canceling when they protest so much. They would be insulted. I am not going to quarantine DS. We have a sick chair in the main room and he can go there if he wants and he can go to bed if he wants. I really hope the people w/ health issues keep their distance. I'm not really mad. I just don't get it. Who would deliberately expose themselves to this? I hate vomit so much that I wish I could leave. Thankfully DS is old enough now that he usually makes it to the bathroom. I get where you are coming from too of course and I feel like if anyone in your house doesn't want guests under these circumstances there shouldn't be guests. I wish your dh understood that and your family did too so you didn't feel forced to have them over so as not to insult them. Is it bad for me to wish illness on all of them so in the future they might think twice it if happens again? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 I would not even give them the option to come. It is too bad, but that is the way life goes sometimes. Friend: "Your kid's sick, but we're still coming!" Me: I'm sorry. We have to cancel. It won't work for us." Friend: "But we were looking forward to it! Where will we sleep tonight?" Me: "I know. I'm sorry. I can get you a hotel listing, if you'd like." I'm afraid I would be too angry to be a decent host if they showed up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 I agree with you. A sick child needs to rest, be comfortable, and not be bombarded with the sounds of loud excitement. In theory, I would tell the family they aren't coming over, but I know I'm also a pushover, so there's that... :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa R. Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 As far as quarantining, I do this regardless when a child is sick. Rarely does illness spread in our house, and I believe it is because the sick child stays in his bedroom. I bring all food in there. I have them use one bathroom and don't let anyone else use that one. (Obviously, this plan only works if you have more than one bathroom.) I used to have a small black and white TV I would bring in the room. The child viewed this as a huge treat, so I rarely had complaints about the isolation. If a child has a stomach bug, I've always felt this was more contagious than other illnesses. I don't know if that's true, but it is the more dreaded of the illnesses and made me more paranoid. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Sorry people are barging in on you. That's irritating. And I hope your kiddo is on the mend quickly. Flip side: Walking out the door to attend a party today and the host husband is on the line, telling dh that his wife 'doesn't feel well' and asking us to wait until 5:30 to arrive. So....3 1/2 hours from now. I ask dh what kind of 'not feeling well' is she because I don't want to go if she's been barfing. But it was a guy calling and a guy answering the phone. That equals no details. But it was an hour before the party started so I'm wondering if we can beg off. Ugh. I do NOT want to be around sick people, especially the host, who is preparing most of the food!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammi K Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 What's wrong w/people? I understand it would be disappointing to cancel, but I don't get it. Some of the guests are in delicate health too. I think there must be 2 kinds of families- those that respect illness and stay away and those that just don't care. I am of the former...I wouldn't want to go to someone's house with a sick child. I don't like vomit, headaches, sore throats, or coughs. Okay, treading lightly here. I respect that you asked us to 'JAWM' but you also asked a question. SO, I'm going to assume you are not opposed to having the question answered. You asked, "What's wrong with people?" I'm going to say in this regard: Nothing. Some people just aren't bothered by the potential exposure to the random germ flying about. I have 6 kids and I can count the total times I've had to give antibiotics on one hand - and that included twice for a dental issue. I can add the total times my kids have had the flu and still not run out of fingers. My kids rarely get sick. I don't know why they have good immune systems, but it appears they do. So, exposure just isn't a big deal. I would just tell my kids to make sure they wash their hands well throughout the day. Also, in the few times my kids have felt unwell, they are more bored than anything else. So, having people over while they hung out on the couch would be a nice distraction. Once or twice a kid has felt really crappy and they voluntarily seek out their bed and keep themselves away from the noise and chaos. I got the feeling from reading your post that you are bothered by people coming over while your child is ill. Am I reading that correctly? In that case, I think it's a totally separate issue. I can see why you feel like having guests while you have a sick child is an extra burden on you. If you do feel that way, I think it would be wonderful of your DH to take over the hosting duties and allow you to attend to your son. I can fully agree that if this is a reason you would prefer to cancel your gathering, you should have DH's support to do so - or at least his willingness to take over the event. But, I also don't see anything wrong with the people who just aren't bothered by a tummy bug. Either way, I hope your day is pleasant. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 I think the weirdest thing is you told them it was canceled and they essentially are inviting themselves over anyway. Agreed. That is crazy rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 I would stay far away. I hate puking. I'm wondering if OP told them she wanted to reschedule or if she just mentioned the illness and hoped they'd take the hint. Some folks don't do subtle and see non-direct communication as leaving the choice to them. As for entertaining with a sick kid in the house, for ME it wouldn't be harder. My kids are easier when they're sick. They're not hungry and sleep all day. I throw medicine and fluids into their rooms and that's it, but they're teens. When they were little they sat on top of me and infected me :-/ I do think it's weird to intentionally expose yourself to anything other than a basic cold. I wonder if the OPs DH would want company if HE was puking? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Puking is so nasty, I would not willingly expose myself. Cold symptoms? Well if we avoided those, we'd be quarantined 6 months of the year. That said, were there airline tickets involved? Do you only see these people infrequently? If they are family you only see once or twice a year, I can see having more grace if they were family you were seeing monthly. My kids don't get sick a ton and they often don't get sick from each other. If I truly CANCELLED something, I would expect someone to honor that. But if they had purchased airline tickets and it was their vacation for the whole summer, I might not cancel entirely on them but put the ball in their court and see where they want to go with it. It's a hard circumstance and I'm glad you're not quarantining sick kid. Sorry! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Yeah, that's weird. I'm not one to get worked up over being exposed to germs, but I would follow the hosts' lead. If they apologized and said Billy won't be joining us but we'd love to have you anyway, I would go. If they said not to come, I wouldn't come. At some point, you have to respect the hosts' wishes and trust they know best since they actually have boots on the ground, so to speak. And you have to have enough self-respect to not take yourself where you're not wanted. Good grief! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhanaBee Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Yes, but what about you? How can you be expected to hostess and take care of a sick child too? What if the whole house gets sick? Ugh! :grouphug: And let's take this one step further..... What if they get sick and then THEY infect someone in their circle of friends and family who really can not afford to get sick at all? I was visiting my daughter's family when Pookers woke up with a horrible stomach bug. She was hoping it was food poisoning, but as the day progressed and her almost-one-year-old started getting sick, it became apparent that this was a virus. I chose to stay on and take care of them, knowing that I was more than likely infected. When I drove home two days later I went straight to my room, effectively banishing my dh [who did not appreciate it at the time] in case I had it. By 2am it was very clear that I was the next victim. And then my poor youngest dd got it. All she had done was hug me when I got home. *That's* how easy it can be to get that evil norovirus. She works with young preschoolers. What if she had gone to work the next day, carrying that virus? 12 kids who could have come down with it and then passed it on to their families. Ok, I know I'm going overboard. But we have a family member whose immune system is compromised so I'm pretty passionate about this. Illness can't always be avoided. It's a fact of life. But why oh why would you willingly put yourself and your family in a situation where you are more than likely to pick up a virus?? I just can't wrap my head around that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1GirlTwinBoys Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 I would never go if I knew someone was sick like that. I'd be upset if they let us come without telling us or canceling. Honestly, I would not give them the option of even coming over. I'd just tell them my child is sick and party is cancelled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeindeed Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 I completely agree with you. I think it's ridiculous for someone to insist on staying with you when your child is sick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 FOr me, it isn't about the germ exposure (although I wouldn't do it) but about the imposition. Who needs to host company with a sick child to take care of? How rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 This is how the family feels. They just don't care. It's not new situation, but one that is so foreign to me that I am continually amazed. After 20yrs! Dh was raised that way and doesn't see the big deal either. They'd rather get sick and see us than not see us. Which I guess is sweet, in a way. It would be terribly hard to insist on canceling when they protest so much. They would be insulted. I am not going to quarantine DS. We have a sick chair in the main room and he can go there if he wants and he can go to bed if he wants. I really hope the people w/ health issues keep their distance. I'm not really mad. I just don't get it. Who would deliberately expose themselves to this? I hate vomit so much that I wish I could leave. Thankfully DS is old enough now that he usually makes it to the bathroom. Who cares if they're insulted? Your child's health and comfort are far more important than the feelings of insensitive, pushy relatives. No way would I have let them come. Never. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 I think the weirdest thing is you told them it was canceled and they essentially are inviting themselves over anyway. Agreed. That is crazy rude. :iagree: I would tell them they couldn't come and if they showed up anyway, I wouldn't have the slightest qualm about turning them away at the door. Why would anyone tolerate being treated this way? Nobody invites themselves to my house under any circumstances, but if my child was sick, there is NO WAY anyone I know would ever even dare to try. They know that when I say no, I mean it. And what kind of idiots intentionally expose themselves to a stomach bug, anyway? :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted July 5, 2014 Author Share Posted July 5, 2014 Our guests just left and it was fine. DS put himself to bed and stayed there until about 4. When he came out, he said he felt better and that was that. He really seemed completely better so we carried on as planned. I was irritated because of how miserable DS looked in the morning and I was concerned that having a house full would make him feel worse, but it turned out that my fears were unfounded. He didn't even notice they had arrived until he felt better. We should know if anyone else gets sick after a few days. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 We're in just the opposite situation. No one told us *before* we made a trip out of state for the weekend that a family member there was very sick. Trying not to be rude while quarantining myself from the sick person, who quite clearly doesn't have "just a little cold." I guess if we get sick, we get sick. Nothing I can do about it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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