MomOfOneFunOne Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 AMDG Every yr we spend a weekend out of town at the same conference, same hotel, same kind of room. This year, my daughter's godmother mentioned she'd like to go. We told her about our hotel and info, et c. She said she couldn't affort both the conference and the hotel; she'd have to stay somewhere else. If it's just us . . . 3 ppl: 2 adults, 1 teen 1 regular room, 2 beds 3 nights $145/night. If godmother goes with us . . . 4 ppl: 3 adults, one teen 1 suite: 2 beds in one area, a fold-out couch in the tv area. My husband would sleep there. 3 nights for us, 2 nights for her. $190/night. At first we just thought halfsies: Everyone saves and she can afford it. We've been thinking about it though . . . We're 3 and she's only one so less seems more appropriate. However, we're stuck in a suite that third night which is more than the regular room we'd normally pay. What do you think would be fair? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 Halfsies is definitely not fair, since she's only one person. I would just have her pay the additional $45, and then ask for your family to be moved to a regular room for the third night. ETA: Maybe ask if she'd be comfortable on the fold-out couch, since she is getting a good deal by bunking with you. That way you'd still have the experience of being all together as a family (if that's part of the fun) and your dh getting a real bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I'd expect her to pay "the difference" that it makes for her to come along -- since you were going anyways at 145, so (190-145)x3 would be fair in my mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I'd expect her to get her own room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I'd expect her to pay "the difference" that it makes for her to come along -- since you were going anyways at 145, so (190-145)x3 would be fair in my mind. Yep, have her pay the difference. if you wanted to be nice, ask to be moved to another room the last night so she doesn't have to pay for the last night she is there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I don't think it unfair if she pays half; then you both benefit. You're giving up something in having her join you so you should get a "perk" too (lower cost). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I'd expect her to get her own room. This would be my expectation as well. We'd have enough going on in the mornings getting out on time without another adult and when I have to pay that much to be away from home, I prefer as much comfort and privacy as I can get for the dollar. I know that sounds very ungenerous, but it's so expensive to get a decent, clean, comfortable room for good sleep these days that I usually expect that others who want to tag along book their their own and pay their way though in special circumstances, I might offer to help pay for their other room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in FL. Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 If you want to allow her to share your room so that she can afford to go, I would charge her the difference in the room rates. eta: I don't disagree with what Milovany had to say either. She makes a good point! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 You didn't invite her (she mentioned she'd like to come). Having her in your room is not a benefit to you (it doesn't sound like she's babysitting or that you need something from her). The reality is having an unrelated adult in the room has the potential to make the room a little uncomfortable. I'd have her pay 25% of the cost of that room. I'd try to arrange moving to smaller room if she leaves a night early. 190/4 X number of nights Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 dp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I would probably just get the one room and tell her she can deadhead as long as she buys her own food, doesn't mind sharing a bed, and doesn't hog the shower. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I'm making a few assumptions here. She is someone you like. She willingly agreed to be your daughter's godmother. She took on this responsibility (Which I assume is a big one? I don't know much about godparents) for free because she likes you and your family. If I could afford it I would pay everything. If not I would have her pay the difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I would probably just get the one room and tell her she can deadhead as long as she buys her own food, doesn't mind sharing a bed, and doesn't hog the shower. Sharing a bed? :ack2: With whom? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 This would be my expectation as well. We'd have enough going on in the mornings getting out on time without another adult and when I have to pay that much to be away from home, I prefer as much comfort and privacy as I can get for the dollar. I know that sounds very ungenerous, but it's so expensive to get a decent, clean, comfortable room for good sleep these days that I usually expect that others who want to tag along book their their own and pay their way though in special circumstances, I might offer to help pay for their other room. :iagree: And seriously, why should the OP's dh get stuck on a sofa bed??? I think it would be incredibly inconvenient for the family to have the other woman stay with them. How would anyone ever have any privacy??? :svengo: No way. No how. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 My vote: Suite with friend on couch for $45 per night change rooms for the third night or if you can't... either pay the extra yourself or have friend pay $67 per night...still a great deal for her. (She'd be covering the difference in price for your family) As far as privacy: could friend throw on something simple to wear and hang out in the lobby while the family gets ready? Or maybe your dh can hang in the lobby while the women get ready then he can have the room to himself to shower etc. If there is a pool...we have sometimes saved time by having some people shower in the room and others in the locker room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomOfOneFunOne Posted February 10, 2014 Author Share Posted February 10, 2014 AMDG Oh we did invite her! Or, we tossed out the idea of splitting the suite after having discussed it privately. We decided we'd love her to be able to go and we'd enjoy her company. It's a pretty intense schedule if we do everything, and we usually do. No, we are not in any way put-upon. We are happy to make it work and really want to. We just don't want to go over budget for the trip. I really do not want to go over budget for the trip or we lose out on something later that we really also want to do. So, I would like to make both possible: keep cost at budget AND present a fair sharing of room expenses. Breakfast and supper are included. We will bring a large container of soup and sandwich fixings to keep in the fridge for lunches. She will bring some sandwich stuff and we'll bring some and the soup . . . B/c, seriously, it's my souperpower! I want her to be able to go. I want to share this with her. My husband also wants her to go. My daughter is thrilled. I just eant to keep expenses fair and come it within our budget. We'll ck about moving rooms w/o incurring a charge. Thanks for all the kind ideas!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 When I travel with my dance troop we charge per bed. If you share a bed it's half the cost. The sleeper sofa is 1/2 a bed price because it always sucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 Would your teen be willing to share a bed with the godmother? Or Can one of them sleep on the floor. I would go to conventions as a single gal with other people. The couple took one bed. Another guest in the second bed and I slept in a sleeping bag on the floor. It was cheaper than getting a suite and we split the room 3 ways (After I thought it should be 4 ways since there were 4 people. But that's neither here nor there). This was in a regular room, not a suite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavender's green Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I think going halvies is fair, considering the huge favor you're doing her (she gets to attend the conference, and saves a ton of money), and the inconvenience to yourselves (loss of privacy, DH sleeps on couch). At the very least she should pay the difference. But I'm with a couple of the PPs who wouldn't do it at all. I'd want to at least cuddle DH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 Halfsies is definitely not fair, since she's only one person. I would just have her pay the additional $45, and then ask for your family to be moved to a regular room for the third night. ETA: Maybe ask if she'd be comfortable on the fold-out couch, since she is getting a good deal by bunking with you. That way you'd still have the experience of being all together as a family (if that's part of the fun) and your dh getting a real bed. This. ETA: I'd only do this if you are all comfortable sharing a room with her and you enjoy her company! Otherwise, I would expect her to get her own room. In that case, maybe there is another motel nearby that is much cheaper and affordable for her. You could still drive together and you could plan to pick her up/drop her back off at her own motel every day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 Why does your dh get the worst bed in the place? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 Am I the only one who doesn't think it odd to have the godmother share a bed made for multiple people with the daughter? I have at times bed shared with distant relatives, friends (as a teen and adult), and at least once with a friend and her toddler (before I had kids; taught me a lot about cosleeping!) while her husband shared the other bed with their 2 other kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 If the single room is absolutely a no go, I'd get the suite, but ask the godmother to pay the $45 difference and have her, not the husband, sleep on the sofa bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 She should pay 1/4 of the rate, and she gets the sofa. My dh would be sleeping with me, not me with another adult. Dh would not be comfortable sleeping in the same room with someone of the opposite gender who is not in our most immediate family, and I think that is reasonable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I'd suggest she pay the upgrade charge and sleep on the sofa. If it was the other way around and you guys were joining her, would you think it was fair to just pay the upcharge? You're probably thinking no because there are more of you, and I'd agree. Which is why I think she'll balk at paying half the room cost. There's one of her and multiple members in your family. You were already planning to spend a certain amount, and adding her adds a certain amount. It would be lovely to only have her pay the upcharge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I would also like to add that DH would not want to share sleeping and bedroom space with another woman even if she is sleeping on the couch, and for certain, I would not be sleeping separate of him. I really think that's an odd arrangement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 The extra person should pay the extra cost that arises because she is coming along. you pay the amount you would pay anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I don't think there is such a thing as a comfortable pull out couch for an adult. If you have young kids, they can often do fine, but adults are heavy enough that they feel the bar in the middle, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abba12 Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 (190-145)x3= $135 That is the contribution I would ask for if you decided not to go through the hassle of switching rooms for the last night (which really would be a hassle) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I can't imagine all those people in one room with one bathroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I'd expect her to get her own room. Ha ha. You crack me up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I can't imagine all those people in one room with one bathroom. Yeah, and you usually have to walk through the bedroom to get to the bathroom, which seems very awkward to me. Honestly, if I was the godmother, I would be very uncomfortable with the arrangement, as I would feel like I was intruding on the family's privacy and inconveniencing the dh, not to mention that it would drive me nuts to have absolutely no privacy for days. I would definitely get my own room -- and if I couldn't afford it, I'd stay home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 Ha ha. You crack me up. I don't share hotel rooms, unless maybe it was just a friend and me in the room... And that's still just a maybe... and not a particularly likely maybe. :D I would never consider sharing my family's hotel suite with an extra person, and neither would my dh. It just wouldn't happen. I don't have overnight guests in the house, either. If people want to come and visit, there are several nice hotels in the area where they can stay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammi K Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 Hotels often tack on an extra $10 - 20 to the room rate if you add an extra adult. Check to see if that is the case at your hotel before you settle on anything else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 I don't share hotel rooms, unless maybe it was just a friend and me in the room... And that's still just a maybe... and not a particularly likely maybe. :D I would never consider sharing my family's hotel suite with an extra person, and neither would my dh. It just wouldn't happen. I don't have overnight guests in the house, either. If people want to come and visit, there are several nice hotels in the area where they can stay. So, you might be a bit uncomfortable if you were sharing a 1000 sq ft space with your dh, two dds, and 10 of your oldest dd's closest friends this weekend? That's what I'll be doing this Friday night/Saturday morning. Aren't you jealous? :tongue_smilie: OP, I would have her pay the overage for all nights you are staying in the room. I would have her on the couch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 So, you might be a bit uncomfortable if you were sharing a 1000 sq ft space with your dh, two dds, and 10 of your oldest dd's closest friends this weekend? That's what I'll be doing this Friday night/Saturday morning. Aren't you jealous? :tongue_smilie:. LOL!!! I would be a raving lunatic! I like being around people, but I also need privacy, so a weekend with a house full of people would be very stressful for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 Hotels often tack on an extra $10 - 20 to the room rate if you add an extra adult. Check to see if that is the case at your hotel before you settle on anything else. That's an excellent point. If that's the case, the godmother might be better off getting her own room. She wouldn't end up saving much money if there was a fee for an extra person in the shared room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 Get two rooms side by side in a cheaper hotel and have you and dh stay in one and godmother and teen dd stay in the other. Pay your room plus half of dd's room. Godmother pays the other half. This is what we would do in this situation to avoid bathroom weirdness because dh would never be okay sharing a bathroom with an extra adult female. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 Dp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 I don't share hotel rooms, unless maybe it was just a friend and me in the room... And that's still just a maybe... and not a particularly likely maybe. :D I would never consider sharing my family's hotel suite with an extra person, and neither would my dh. It just wouldn't happen. I don't have overnight guests in the house, either. If people want to come and visit, there are several nice hotels in the area where they can stay. There are very few people I would want to share a hotel room with. I do have guests in my house though. In my world it would be considered crazy to suggest they get a hotel room. It does stress me out---I am trying to chill out about that kind of stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edelweiss Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 I don't share hotel rooms, unless maybe it was just a friend and me in the room... And that's still just a maybe... and not a particularly likely maybe. :D I would never consider sharing my family's hotel suite with an extra person, and neither would my dh. It just wouldn't happen. I don't have overnight guests in the house, either. If people want to come and visit, there are several nice hotels in the area where they can stay. I'm with you! No way would we be sharing a hotel room/suite with anyone else. It just wouldn't happen. I would probably be okay sharing a hotel room with my sister, but I doubt I'd even do it with a good friend. We do occasionally have overnight guests, but I'm only okay with it because we have a really large house and the guest room and bathroom are waaaayyyyy on the other side of the house. We all have complete privacy, so I tolerate it. When we visit other people, we always stay in hotels though. I just feel that we are all more comfortable that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwallowTail Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 I would charge her $70/night and make her sleep on the couch or bring an air mattress if the couch seems as if it would be uncomfortable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farmgirl70 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I'd totally do it! We'd have her pay the difference between what we were planning to pay and what we would pay with her along. No qualms about having a friend in the room or sharing a bathroom with 4 people. Maybe because the 5 of us live in a 1200 square foot house and share one bath all the time :) . We also have overnight guests constantly--most of the time they sleep on the couch, but sometimes we get creative with who sleeps where if it makes more sense overall. Not sure why having another woman in the room would be a problem for a husband if his wife is also there….also not a biggie here. Have fun with your friend at the conference! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I can't imagine all those people in one room with one bathroom. Didn't you ever go flatting? Or live in a standard type family home - 1 bathroom, 3 bedroom type deal? Anyway I vote she pays for the extra cost and helps with food. I might go for dh on the couch and all the women in the bedroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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