Homeschool fail

[Susan in TN]

The other day my 7yodd said "Boy, I sure wish we could spit in public!"

 

 

[Susan in TN]

Have him read Chicken Soup with Rice over and over, lol.

 

One of my favorites!

[mumto2]

Dd has serious issues with "old fashioned " clocks. She is never at all sure what time it is when faced with a clock face. Ds loves to ask her what time it is when we are places where she might mess up - he finds it very funny. Dd also holds her scissors oddly. Extremely accurate but looks painful. No big deal except she is an expert quilter and frequently demonstates for our club. As soon as she cuts something everyones attention is completely diverted....

 

Ds likes to make me panic about potential huge gaps in knowledge especially related to history and geography, subjects I know he has never enjoyed. Fortunately questions like where is Germany(he has been there multiple times) are usually just shared with dad. I never know if he really doesn't know or is teasing. He definately has a huge block on oceans and bodies of water like Atlantic, North Sea, and English Channel.

[GSOchristie]

Related to a homeschool fail (more like house-cleaning fail):

When my oldest was about 5, and was practicing CVC words, she needed explanation to understand what a m-o-p was.

She had never seen one.

:huh: :eek: :o :o

L. O. L! And I can relate, my son asked my mom a few weeks ago what her iron was. I know we have one...somewhere :).

[swellmomma]

I agree. It is one thing I've been obsessive about with ds....making him memorize my cellphone number even though he has a cell phone. I fear (irrationally) that he won't be able to connect with me if we get separated.

I don't find that an irrational fear at all.  When I took ds15 to the hospital for xrays on his hand they asked him to recite his phone number and address, I was confused since there was no head injury.  It turns out a 16 year old was brought in by friends with an injured foot and he did not know his home phone number, address or parents first names.  Eventually the hospital worker tracked down the parents using his last name.  She thought perhaps the child had a disability but the parents said he didn't know their first names because there is no reason for him to know it, they are not equals with him, and he didn't know the home number and address because they simply never thought to teach it.  So now they ask every child/teen coming in to see if they know their contact information.

 

I have my own share of fails with homeschooling, but I can say my kids know from a very young age, my full name, their full name, address, phone number and ped's name.  I likely would not have been so stringent about it if not for oldest, he was a runner, by 5 my kids can recite all of that stuff as a result so that if they are lost/hurt etc they can get all the help needed.

[Catwoman]

I don't find that an irrational fear at all. When I took ds15 to the hospital for xrays on his hand they asked him to recite his phone number and address, I was confused since there was no head injury. It turns out a 16 year old was brought in by friends with an injured foot and he did not know his home phone number, address or parents first names. Eventually the hospital worker tracked down the parents using his last name. She thought perhaps the child had a disability but the parents said he didn't know their first names because there is no reason for him to know it, they are not equals with him, and he didn't know the home number and address because they simply never thought to teach it. So now they ask every child/teen coming in to see if they know their contact information.

 

I have my own share of fails with homeschooling, but I can say my kids know from a very young age, my full name, their full name, address, phone number and ped's name. I likely would not have been so stringent about it if not for oldest, he was a runner, by 5 my kids can recite all of that stuff as a result so that if they are lost/hurt etc they can get all the help needed.

I wonder if those people won any Parent of the Year awards. :glare:

 

Sometimes I wonder what planet people are living on.

[Kareni]

I wonder if those people won any Parent of the Year awards. :glare:

 

Sometimes I wonder what planet people are living on.

 

It's possible that neither the parents nor the children know!

 

Regards,

Kareni

[jewellsmommy]

Just this morning I was going over a blank US map and asking the dc to tell me the states. I pointed to Idaho and dd shouted "Italy!" :willy_nilly: :svengo:

My only response was "Pleeeaaase tell me you're joking". Then she goes, "oh wait. no. that's Idaho."

 

Ok good. BUT, then ds points to Maine and says, proudly, "That's Alaska."  (at least he picked a state in the US, right?)

 

 

 

 

ETA: I swear I do actually teach geography. honest.

[Scarlett]

Just this morning I was going over a blank US map and asking the dc to tell me the states. I pointed to Idaho and dd shouted "Italy!" :willy_nilly: :svengo:

My only response was "Pleeeaaase tell me you're joking". Then she goes, "oh wait. no. that's Idaho."

 

Ok good. BUT, then ds points to Maine and says, proudly, "That's Alaska." (at least he picked a state in the US, right?)

LOL.

 

Reminds me of some friends that moved to AR from NY. They had to get the map out to know where AR is. :/

[Belacqua]

Early in our homeschooling years, my MIL came for a visit. She was listening while we did a history lesson, so to show off a little, I threw the kid a softball question: What animals were French traders in North America trapping for their fur?

 

The kid pondered this for a moment then ventured his tentative answer: Kittens?

 

Fortunately, his grandma found that hilarious rather than appalling. Love my MIL :).

[canadianmomtofour]

My kids don't know the lyrics to the national anthem, only the oldest can tie his shoes, and now that I think about it, I need to ask them if they actually know their own middle names.......

[alisoncooks]

Just this morning I was going over a blank US map and asking the dc to tell me the states. I pointed to Idaho and dd shouted "Italy!" :willy_nilly: :svengo:

My only response was "Pleeeaaase tell me you're joking". Then she goes, "oh wait. no. that's Idaho."

 

Ok good. BUT, then ds points to Maine and says, proudly, "That's Alaska."  (at least he picked a state in the US, right?)

 

 

 

 

ETA: I swear I do actually teach geography. honest.

 

Yeah, but I can totally see where that would come from!  I mean, they're both northern, peninsula-type pieces of land.  Just...on the opposite of N. America! :D :D

[EKS]

The 17yo just the other day said "How many senses are there?  Seven?"

[elegantlion]

My daughter didn't know our home phone number for a long time.  I mean, a LONG time.  I guess she never needed to fill out a form or call home!

 

Yeah, you can't put "2" on a form. All ds knows is speed dial.  :lol:

[ThatHomeschoolDad]

October, August, September, March.....wait, wait, August, November, October.....wait, wait. I got this....I was standing in front of him mouth open, dumbfounded. He finally started at January and was able to easily recite all 12 months to my decided relief!

 

Backward thinking, he was.  Plain to see, it is.

 

A Jedi, you have raised.

 

[saraha]

My kids don't know the lyrics to the national anthem, only the oldest can tie his shoes, and now that I think about it, I need to ask them if they actually know their own middle names.......

 

I started teaching all 6 of my kids their full names, my, my husbands and their grandparents first and last names when they were two years old.  At two they could recite theirs, all of their siblings, and the grownups.  HOWEVER, just last week, my sil was joking around with my 3 year old and called out, "Hey First and Middle Name, come over here and give me a big hug!"  Too which he immediately started bawling and ran behind me.  When she asked what she had done wrong, I laughingly replied "You used his big name, he only ever hears his big name when he is in trouble!"  It took all afternoon of her making up to him before he would talk to her!

[amo_mea_filiis.]

The 17yo just the other day said "How many senses are there? Seven?"

That's right!

 

Hearing, sight, touch, taste, smell, proprioception, vestibular. :) (there may be more. I forget)

[blondeviolin]

My kids did life science last year. So when we were listening to a Teacher and the Rockbots song, I thought it fair to pause after the clues and quiz them on their animal classes. My older two correctly identified mammals and reptiles. The 4yo was begging to do one and I thought she'd get fish for sure with the HUGE clue about the class being full of animals that live under water.

 

I asked, "What kind of animal lives under water, breathes through gills and has scales?" And she exclaimed, "Mermaids!"

 

Um, I guess... LOL

[alisoncooks]

I wonder how many homeschool kids don't learn to tie their shoes until much later than their public schooled peers.

I haven't even tried to teach my 7 yr old... but I remember having to learn in Kindergarten. My teacher sent home this little cardboard shoe with laces for me to practice on b/c I was one of the few that didn't know how.  (Side note:  cardboard shoe!?  why couldn't I just practice on a real shoe, LOL!)

[bensonduck]

4.5 year old DD asked me, "What's a toothpick?" the other day. :)

[redsquirrel]

I know it is a for laughs thread, but I have a serious questions to those who do a history cycle. Don't you talk about other historical figures if the context arises? Why not? Is it believed that "mixing" history and doing it out of order is detrimental? 

 

My kids are into ancient China and Japan right now, but if we were visiting DC, I can't imagine not talking to them about Abraham Lincoln, among other things before hand. But we do do history out of order, and my kids *are* often confused about the time line.  :w00t:

 

Am I against 'mixing' history? Not at all. But George Washington and Abraham Lincoln don't come up much in the life of a first grader. And we haven't been to DC since the kids were a pre-schooler and an infant. So when would the context arise in a way that is meaningful to them? I guess they might ask who the guys are on the money.

 

We use SOTW 1-4 so we get there eventually.

[*lifeoftheparty*]

I'm watching CNN- Donald Trump just came on the screen and DS9 shouted, "Hey! Isn't that JFK?!?!"

 

Fail.

[laughing lioness]

My 26 year old can't read an analog clock.

[Scarlett]

The other day my 7yodd said "Boy, I sure wish we could spit in public!"

 

 

The fact that a girl said this just cracks me up.

[AMJ]

I should probably post this anonymously, but my 18yo cannot tie his shoes. He did learn how, when he was something like five or six, but he has some sensory issues and doesn't like shoes at all, let alone tight shoes. So, when he absolutely must wear shoes, he generally just snugs up the laces a little and tucks the ends inside his shoes. Yes, I know it seems like the laces inside would trigger more sensory issues, but that's the way he does it. He keeps his soccer cleats tied, and slips them on and off.

 

I really think he could re-learn fairly quickly, but he is going to need to want to learn first. 

 

This is quite like DD12, who also has some sensory issues (and some lesser fine motor issues).  She doesn't want lace-up shoes, because she has difficulty with the laces.  She has difficulty with the laces because she has avoided lace-up shoes as much as possible.  She simply doesn't want to learn or practice tying shoe laces.

 

Her growing body is going to betray her -- it's becoming harder to find velcro strap sneakers in her size.  When she outgrows her current pair she might be forced to get lace-up sneakers.

 

The funny thing is, DD12 likes shoes (fashion and foot protection).  It's DD9, who has no problem with shoe laces and ties them quite readily, who keeps shedding her shoes.  Give her any excuse, or any time where she isn't explicitly instructed to stay shod and the shoes are off!

[AMJ]

I have had so many parents tell me their kids don't know the months of the year that I am more surprised when I meet one who does. It's like we spend all this time in 2nd or 3rd grade making them memorize it, and then never truly make them use it again until they are older. It just evaporates in the meantime.

 

And I know quite a few middle school age kids who cannot read a clock face. They understand time but have only seen digital clocks, so little hand and big hand elude them. They get all flustered in my house because we don't have any digital clocks on display. My son takes perverse joy in wearing a watch with only 12, 3, 6 and 9....in Roman numerals.

 

But, before you think he is hot stuff, he is in 8th grade and due to only wearing slip on shoes or velcro he cannot tie laces.

 

Those kids would have a horrible time at my aunt's or my sister's -- both love(d) (aunt is deceased) strange clocks.  Many look like modern art -- you'd never expect them to be clocks.  Once the kids got the hang of dial-face clocks my sister's "Down Under" clock would throw them off again, because it runs "backwards" (counter-clockwise).  Unless they picked up on why she keeps it in her bathroom (she can see the time in the mirror).

 

DH likes an app on his Dash that has fuzzy time (1-ish, half-past an hour runs from 25 to 35 minutes past, etc.).  Our girls learned both analog and digital clock reading, but were thrown by this for a bit because it wouldn't change with each minute.  We had a discussion about how people used to be less exact when telling time to each other.  They looked at me like I was nuts.

[DawnM]

My 15 year old asked me how to spell Wednesday today......YUP!

 

He then wrote the word "screw driver" and spelled it "skrew driver."

 

That's my boy!!!!!!!!

 

 

This week both my kids wrote down Wednesday on paper with their spellings no where close. I know we learned this years ago!!!

 

[AMJ]

Yes, handwriting, pe and art are my big homeschool fails.  My oldest thinks Calculus is easy, but has to type his papers because his handwriting is unreadable.  Seriously, it is chicken scratch.  My friend's children all have BEAUTIFUL handwriting, even the boys.  I always said I should send my children to her for handwriting boot camp.

 

And pe...well I have good intentions....

 

 

My seriously brilliant 14 year old kid writes like a struggling first grader.  Her penmanship used to be just dreadful, though it is improving.  And I really do feel that this is a fail on my part. I used to think that it wouldn't matter but I don't think that anymore.  I worry about the simple act of writing a nice hand-written note to someone.  I worry about the essay component of the SAT.  I worry about note-taking in college.  I used to think that she could just type them but lately I have terped a couple of university classes and in one, they aren't allowed and in another, while they don't seem to be expressly disallowed, only one or two kids use them.

 

I struggled when I was a kid just to make my handwriting legible, never mind neat.  DD12 also struggles, and when we had her tested for other stuff last year she was also diagnosed with dysgraphia.  Dysgraphia is a eye-input to hand-output problem, and manifests most commonly has truly bad handwriting.

 

Now that we are homeschooling typing is a daily lesson (most days) so she can turn out neat papers when she will need to.  On handwriting I don't worry about neat (I never got there myself) -- I stress "can you/I read this some other day when we don't remember what was written down or studied?".  I tell her she needs to be able to leave notes for people and send cards that people can read, and she needs to be able to read her own writing later.  She's a lot less resistant or stressed about this, especially since it is reinforced a lot by their beloved IEW writing (composition) class.

 

Amazingly DD12's handwriting is much improved since I basically gave her permission to be sloppy.

[AMJ]

I don't find that an irrational fear at all.  When I took ds15 to the hospital for xrays on his hand they asked him to recite his phone number and address, I was confused since there was no head injury.  It turns out a 16 year old was brought in by friends with an injured foot and he did not know his home phone number, address or parents first names.  Eventually the hospital worker tracked down the parents using his last name.  She thought perhaps the child had a disability but the parents said he didn't know their first names because there is no reason for him to know it, they are not equals with him, and he didn't know the home number and address because they simply never thought to teach it.  So now they ask every child/teen coming in to see if they know their contact information.

 

I have my own share of fails with homeschooling, but I can say my kids know from a very young age, my full name, their full name, address, phone number and ped's name.  I likely would not have been so stringent about it if not for oldest, he was a runner, by 5 my kids can recite all of that stuff as a result so that if they are lost/hurt etc they can get all the help needed.

 

When I was a child we visited my Grandpa H. each year in the summer, and we kids would frequently walk to a neighborhood park to play.  One year Mom decided I could go by myself on our first day there.  I needed to go to the bathroom after a bit and headed back to Grandpa's house, but took a wrong turn and got lost.  A nice family sitting on their front porch saw me crying as I walked by, and sent their kid to ask if I needed help.  I explained about visiting and getting lost, and they asked what my Grandpa's name was.  "Grandpa H."  After looking in the phonebook and finding several H.'s, they asked "do you know his first name?"  Puzzled as to why they would even ask, I replied, "Yes.  It's Grandpa."

 

They decided to call the H. who lived nearest to them and luckily got my uncle.  He barely got me to his house on time to use the bathroom -- I wouldn't go inside the strangers' house.

[AMJ]

Having been homeschooling only a short time I thought I didn't have any fails to share.  Then I remembered:  I just recently have had to tell my whole family about the magical, mystical machine in the kitchen that will actually WASH dishes.  I pointed out that I actually take clean dishes out of this wonder and put them in the cupboard, and -- wonder of wonders! -- there's room in the dishwasher for the next dirty dishes!

 

*sigh*  I'm still finding everyone's dirty dishes in the sink.

 

:banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

[Catwoman]

That's right!

Hearing, sight, touch, taste, smell, proprioception, vestibular. :) (there may be more. I forget)

OK, now you're just showing off. :glare:

 

;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

[goldberry]

DD14 still struggles with analog clocks.  I've pretty much just given up on it.

 

I have MANY fails.  Hmm...one of my favorites was when she said the national currency of Mexico was the churro....

 

Oh, just remembered when she was 12 and wrote in a paragraph that she had "attention defecate disorder"!

[Forget-Me-Not]

My daughter didn't know our home phone number for a long time. I mean, a LONG time. I guess she never needed to fill out a form or call home!

My kids don't know our home phone, but they do know both my and DHs cell numbers (they are only different by one digit so that makes it easier).

 

However, when my daughter and niece got lost at Disneyland last week, I realized a gross oversight--they didn't know our *area code*! They do know our address, so I suppose if the situation had been dire enough someone could have located the area code on Google (they were returned to us quickly, thank goodness). Needless to say, that is being remedied post-haste!

[Mrs Mungo]

However, when my daughter and niece got lost at Disneyland last week, I realized a gross oversight--they didn't know our *area code*! They do know our address, so I suppose if the situation had been dire enough someone could have located the area code on Google (they were returned to us quickly, thank goodness). Needless to say, that is being remedied post-haste!

At Disney my kids and my niece all received a laminated card with complete cell phone numbers for all of the adults with us. It came in handy.

[Forget-Me-Not]

At Disney my kids and my niece all received a laminated card with complete cell phone numbers for all of the adults with us. It came in handy.

Good idea! I'll tuck that away for next time :D. MIL bought them all lanyards, so DH wrote our number on the backs right away after that.

[Melissa in Australia]

My children are all pretty much a total homeschool failure.

 

 

 

Feeling pretty down about their academic (or lack of) achievements today. :leaving:

[DawnM]

Looking at your signature, it looks like your kids are doing just fine.

 

 

My children are all pretty much a total homeschool failure.

 

 

 

Feeling pretty down about their academic (or lack of) achievements today. :leaving:

 

[Melissa in Australia]

Looking at your signature, it looks like your kids are doing just fine.

I guess it looks good from the outside :mellow:  but from the inside it doesn't  look so rosy.

 Most of my children have Dyslexia. ds16 can hardly write and is still stuck on year 8 algebra, :sad:  and ds10 can hardly read and not write at all. :ohmy:

 I have to keep telling  myself that it is a marathon, not a sprint.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

OK, now you're just showing off. :glare:

 

;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

:)

 

7 years of dealing with sensory dysfunctions had better teach me *something*! Lol.

[strange_girl]

Not so much a homeschool fail, but definitely related to homeschooling:

 

My four year old son wanted to be in the Lollipop race at our local Old Home Days, so he and his sister entered together. The group of possibly 25 four and five year olds ran happily across the rec center baseball field, rounded second base, and started home.

 

My son was fighting hard for last place with another littl boy his own age. Suddenly, I see him reach over, push the boy over, and keep on running. :(. Luckily no one else seemed to notice.

 

When he got back to the starting line, I asked him, "Joel, what happened with that boy?"

 

He calmly replied, "He was in fwont, and I wanted to be in fwont, so I flicked him, and he fell over. Then I was in da lead!"

 

*smack my own forehead*. Oh my. I guess we never really have talked about sportsmanship....

 

Let me just say that the next time he wants to be in a race, he's going to get a nice lecture about running a race fairly, lol.

[Scarlett]

DD14 still struggles with analog clocks. I've pretty much just given up on it.

 

I have MANY fails.

 

Oh, just remembered when she was 12 and wrote in a paragraph that she had "attention defecate disorder"!

I about fell out of my chair laughing at this one.

[KrissiK]

Yeah, well, after however many Columbus Day lessons I've taught and they've sat through, it seems that the impression is that Columbus actually sailed up through the North Sea, around Scandanavia and landed somewhere in Siberia.

[TheReader]

I guess it looks good from the outside :mellow:  but from the inside it doesn't  look so rosy.

 Most of my children have Dyslexia. ds16 can hardly write and is still stuck on year 8 algebra, :sad:  and ds10 can hardly read and not write at all. :ohmy:

 I have to keep telling  myself that it is a marathon, not a sprint.

 

((((Hugs))) 

 

Right there with you. My youngest has multiple learning delays/disabilities, and just a few days ago said, "Mom, just face it, I'm never going to learn how to read, okay?" and also asked "Can't I just be one of those grown-ups who doesn't ever learn how to read?"  :sigh: 

 

Marathon, not a sprint. That's my constant refrain. 

 

As for the older 2 -- I am teaching our oldest our address for the sole purpose that he'll be able to fill it out when he takes the PSAT next week. Oops. In my defense, he just hasn't needed it, living where we live. But still. What an oversight! 

 

As for the handwriting thing, I'm already determined the middle one will take only the ACT rather than hassle with the essay of the SAT. The very thought of squeezing that much handwritten work out gives *me* a panic attack, to think of him doing it, let alone the stress he would feel. At 12 (almost 13) I still scribe his math for him or it takes ages. His math skills are there, it's the handwriting/dysgraphia that trips him up. 

 

And I'll just ditto the whole shoe tying, analog clock reading, etc. 

[jeninok]

I always make sure the kiddo knows the address, phone numbers, first and last names of not only us, but his grandparents and my best friend.   

He had to call 911 a few months ago while I was trying to put out a garage fire from a lightning strike, despite the fear and panic of the moment he was able to call and give them our new address, simple directions to get there and what the problem was.   

 

We had only lived in the new house for 3 months, and previously he had lived at the same place his entire first  years, I don't know that I explicitly taught him the new address, I think he took it upon himself to remember it since we had already made it a priority.

  

 

I also keep his close friends phone numbers as well as their parents in my phone, and give mine to them as well.   

[Belacqua]

Not so much a homeschool fail, but definitely related to homeschooling:

 

My four year old son wanted to be in the Lollipop race at our local Old Home Days, so he and his sister entered together. The group of possibly 25 four and five year olds ran happily across the rec center baseball field, rounded second base, and started home.

 

My son was fighting hard for last place with another littl boy his own age. Suddenly, I see him reach over, push the boy over, and keep on running. :(. Luckily no one else seemed to notice.

 

When he got back to the starting line, I asked him, "Joel, what happened with that boy?"

 

He calmly replied, "He was in fwont, and I wanted to be in fwont, so I flicked him, and he fell over. Then I was in da lead!"

 

*smack my own forehead*. Oh my. I guess we never really have talked about sportsmanship....

 

Let me just say that the next time he wants to be in a race, he's going to get a nice lecture about running a race fairly, lol.

 

Can't argue with the kid's logic! :)

[swellmomma]

I guess it looks good from the outside :mellow:  but from the inside it doesn't  look so rosy.

 Most of my children have Dyslexia. ds16 can hardly write and is still stuck on year 8 algebra, :sad:  and ds10 can hardly read and not write at all. :ohmy:

 I have to keep telling  myself that it is a marathon, not a sprint.

:grouphug:  your ds10 is like my ds10, he is coming along but his reading is like a end 1st grade level and his writing is lower, that's the down side of learning issues.  your ds16 and my ds15 are similar in writing and math struggles too.  I know how you are feeling with how things are on the inside, but you are getting there.  You are absolutely right it is a marathon not a sprint.  Dealing with learning issues is not for the faint of heart that's for sure.

[Scarlett]

Just had to come back and share this. My cousin teaches college freshmen and she was commenting that they can't read her cursive notes because in her area schools stopped teaching it years ago. I did not know that!

[scrapbookbuzz]

Well, as long as we're airing the dirty laundry:

 

My 15yo still cannot tell me what our address is. But she can tell you how to get here!

 

My 9yo can tie shoes but more like a beginning 4 or 5 year old. It's just been easier to buy him non-tie shoes.

 

Just a thought: I think homeschoolers tend to 'live in glass houses' because some people, who have had their heads in the sand, 

don't realize it really isn't that unusual to homeschool. And, as a pp stated, it's not just homeschoolers. It's any  student, really.

Teens especially. When you take into consideration how fast their bodies are changing (hormones, rapid growth), and how sleep-deprived

they can be, is it any wonder they can't remember simple facts? Think of your life as a parent. NOT MUCH DIFFERENT!  :hat:

[mathmarm]

I've had students of all ages not know who the current president was. :glare: (During the Bush, Clinton and W. Bush era!)

I had a student argue with me over whether or not 4/8 = .50 or .5 and when I realized how adamant and earnest she was I had to count backwards from 30 in French, before I could resume the lecture. In her mind .50 =!= .5 no matter what anyone said.

 

During office hours, I gave her a thorough lesson on place value (and begrudged her elementary school teachers something vicious). She said she'd never heard of or been taught anything like that and was said "Now, I can probably read some really big numbers even if they're over 1000!" :scared: :scared:

[AMJ]

Oh, just remembered when she was 12 and wrote in a paragraph that she had "attention defecate disorder"!

When I was in college one of my anthropology classmates asked me to proofread her term paper. It was on an obscure group of monks who practiced mortification of the flesh. Reading away I was growing rapidly surprised and sure it was an elaborate prank (since it happened to be April 1st). Until I suddenly realized my reading error: "Oh, flagelant. Not flatulent!"

 

The entire archaeomag lab (where we were) busted up laughing.