Anyone else not concerned about music lessons?

[mothergooseof4]

It seems that all of the hsers around me are constantly running to music lessons and paying a fortune for them. I learned an instrument in band at school. I don't use it as an adult. My kids have not asked or shown interest in music, other than listening to it. If they did show an interest, I would check into lessons. But, I see so many pushing this down their kids' throats and spending a lot of time and money doing so. It just adds stress to already busy schedules.

 

Am I the only one that doesn't see this as necessary?

[Arcadia]

Hubby started learning his clarinet in school band in 11th grade and made it to Navy Band. He is now learning the piano by himself and doing well. I had piano lessons since young than joined the school band, angklung ensemble and choir in 3rd grade. Our kids are not having paid music lessons. We are just doing music theory and piano lessons in a laissez-faire manner.

I don't think paid music lessons and a fixed schedule is necessary to the extend that you are describing. However exposure to music is always good be it listening to classical music on the radio or cds or playing on the recorder, harmonica and other affordable instruments.

[Julie Smith]

I don't think it is necessary. But we do it anyways.

 

It's the only thing my kids do. It costs 25 dollars a week for both boys to have a 30 minute less. We never run to lessons. Okay, I never run - I walk since it's just 1KM down the road, but sometimes my kids do run.

 

I like the fact they have a teacher other than me. I also like all the other skills they learn through piano.

 

Now if my boys had very busy schedules, or it was more expensive, or we had other problems I would rethink the lessons. But for us it works out it every way. The boys best friend also has lessons with the same teacher just before us. Then when the boys get together to play the next day they will sometimes even discuss the pieces they are learning. They even hand down piano books from one boy to another.

[KarenNC]

Nope, you're not the only one. :) My baseline for a well-rounded education is to have enough exposure and knowledge to *appreciate* a wide variety of music and art, not necessarily be able to produce either at any particular level. We have a limited amount of time to devote to outside classes and a limited budget to fund them, so I pick and choose those with an eye to the most bang for the buck.

 

We tried to get our daughter interested in some sort of instrument and/or singing, but no go, which was hard on my husband, particularly, as he is a good singer and competent on a couple of instruments. He was looking forward to sharing that with her. I decided we would just focus on music appreciation, as I saw no point in pouring time and money into something that she did not have an interest in. She has been exposed to a wide variety of music (she particularly enjoys going to the opera) and we've done some study about various periods of music, attend performances, etc. If she wants to learn an instrument later, then it's something she can do.

 

Art is a different story for us. This is her area of creative passion, so I feel it's worth it to pay for outside lessons (I can't draw my way out of a paper bag ;) ). We also do art appreciation at home, visit museums, etc.

[2squared]

I'm getting there. My oldest asked for piano lessons. Hated them and now wants nothing to do with any instrument anywhere at any time.

 

My second had a handful of free piano lessons over the summer. He loved it and even practiced for fun. I signed him up for lessons, and now he hates it. He cries and complains about practicing and wants nothing to do with any other instrument anywhere at any time.

 

I have enough other stressful things in my life that I don't need to add stress via music lessons. Not only that, but I pay for the music lessons that cause the stress. Isn't that crazy? My kids aren't getting much out of it. I'm forking over money that could go toward other needs, and it's causing stress and strife in our lives. When this school year is over, I'm done with instrument lessons unless someone begs me with knees on the floor and lips on my shoes.

 

I was in band. It was awful. I want nothing to do with any other instrument either. I guess they received my music genes.

[mumto2]

You are definately not the only one. Our best friends are professional musicians and we attend their performances frequently. Neither child has ever expessed an interest in any of their instruments. They have been waiting! Now given up. We do pay for art lessons. We all enjoy singing in church--no desire for choir either. I refuse to worry about something that they have no desire for that is not required.

[CupOCoffee]

Not alone. Ours have not expressed interest, but we couldn't afford lessons anyway so there it is. I have NO musical talent whasoever, not even good enough to sing in the shower. My husband played first trumpet in high school (30 years ago) and then went on to play electric guitar and bass in his own rock band. Ds would probably like to learn guitar, but doesn't really say anything.

 

~coffee~

[claluck]

I think its a valuable thing and I strongly encourage my kids. But I wouldn't force them and if it were too pricey we just could not do it. The awesome thing with us is since we home school our piano teacher comes to our house. We do an hour long lesson one time a week. My two boys have been doing lessons for 2 years. They aren't fabulous but I would love for them to be able to play well. When my oldest was a baby one time I remember a friend of mine sitting down at her piano and playing some gentle but upbeat music. Within a minute a bunch of kids were there watching and she had calmed chaos to order. I so wish I could do that (and I did start piano lessons but then had another baby and another and another lol).

 

There have been times we have gone through slumps where it wasn't as fun. Or a lesson or two that just blah. BUT their teacher is fantastic at working with them. She is an expert at the compliment/criticism sandwich. And now as they gain more skill they enjoy it more since they can play "real" songs. Their friends are always trying to get them to show them songs. And my oldest is at least pretending to teach our 6 year old twins how to play and one of his friends. I will start the twins next year in first grade with their music lessons. I feel like it is a dying art (at least in my community barely anyone plays the piano).

 

Also my kids have a deal that if they will learn the piano I will buy them an instrument of their choice when they can play certain songs on the piano. It's a bit of an incentive. My 9 year old is begging me to get him a trombone. But I don't think he has long enough arms to play it yet. So he saved up $120 and is watching classifieds for one to come up that he will buy. I will probably help him if he really does just do it anyways but we told him maybe another year will do him good in the growth department. Anyways lessons have certainly sparked an enthusiasm for music and good music at that.

 

At that said if it were too expensive we just would never be able to afford it. We have a great deal/ system right now and I hope it doesn't change. We are on a pretty strict budget (my husband works in the school district and I am a SAHM with soon to be 7 kids). We aren't destitute but many extra's are not an option for us.

 

I have no clue what I would do if my kids truly HATED it. Right now I think they halfway love it as a nice break every other Thursday from school for an hour lol. And practicing is something they get to do in between different school subjects, its more of a break that a chore

 

Christina

[Pawz4me]

You're not alone. For us it's not money, but about absolutely no interest. Neither DH nor I were ever interested in playing an instrument. We've done just fine. :) Neither of our boys has ever shown any interest in learning a musical instrument. In fact, we're not particularly interested in even listening to music. DH listens on his work commute. The boys and I would rather listen to the news/talk on NPR.

[ChicoryChick]

I think a basic knowledge of music theory as well as exposure to a good variety of music is important but easily accomplished without spending a lot of time and money taking an instrument.

 

I use R&S for music theory. My dd complained about not understanding what it was for etc. I pulled out a recorder and a book that teaches how to play it. She taught herself a couple of songs from it and now it makes sense to her. My other dd wanted to learn guitar. I bought a couple of dvds that teach guitar and pulled out her father's and let her learn. The only obstacle with that one is she is left handed so I am looking for a used guiter that we can restring for her. I took piano lessons for several years but we don't own a piano otherwise I would give them some beginner lessons. If they showed talent and desire for more then and only then would I look into a more professional venue.

[G5052]

We decided to go interest-based, so only one has really gone on with it beyond the beginner level. We began with a semi-retired teacher that was willing to barter for lessons, and now go to a higher-level teacher for one of mine who teaches full-time and does all of the extras (competition, recitals, theory exams, etc.). Thankfully it is close to home and this teacher is very flexible about rescheduling.

 

My family did everything music when I was growing up, and frankly I came to not really enjoy it that much. My heart was really elsewhere. So I wanted to avoid that.

[Shmead]

I do think reading music and converting the abstract symbols into action, and then using the feedback from your senses to modulate thoat action is a different sort of cognitive activity than anything else, and I think that generally it's in a kid's best interest to perform as many different cognitive activities as possible. Brains should be flexed in all directions. It's not the "being able to produce music" part that is the goal--it's the "being able to use your brain in a different way".

 

But I don't think it's essential, and parenthood is a long series of choices. You can't do everything.

[Donna]

Music is huge in our house as well...music practice takes up a large portion of my dd's day. Music lessons, orchestra, performances, and travel to them take up nearly every weekend and camps and performances will take up most of our summer as well.

 

I asked each child which instrument they would like to learn and they had lessons on their chosen instruments. It was part of their homeschooling just like math or any other subject. My boys had lessons until high school when they switched from homeschooling to public school and sports started taking up all their time but they still practice and perform with their instruments, one more than the other. They have enough skill to perform or teach lessons if they want to.

 

Even with all our involvement in music, which is much more than I ever imagined when they started lessons, I would not force my kids to take music lessons if they didn't have any interest and, as we I did with my boys, when they were old enough/skilled enough with their chosen instrument to not need weekly lessons, we stopped. I thought it was important for them to each have a foundation in music....important enough that we sacrificed in other areas to afford lessons. Their interests drove the rest of their involvement.

[SarahW]

I have the goal of teaching my kid at least basic musical notation and basic theory. If he wants to do more, then I'll decide how much more we can do.

 

My husband is 40, and just now he has realized that he wants, no needs, to learn how to sing a basic tune from notes. But since he was never taught anything about music he is really having a rough go with it. Because I had a few years of piano as a kid I'm able to help him understand some basics, but it's a lot harder to learn something completely new at 40 than 7.

 

If your kid doesn't like an "instrument" then they don't need to have one. The most common form of music in the world is the human voice. And most kids like singing. Use a piano or an online program to tune their pitch a bit and then teach them how to sight sing from a piece of sheet music and they're set for life.

[Laura Corin]

I see it as part of introducing my boys to a wide variety of options. Playing an instrument is not the same as listening to music, and you can't know if you like it until you have tried. I wouldn't take my child to watch a sports event and assume that he now knew what playing sport would be like.

 

Teaching a child the recorder is not expensive, but they will get a flavour. I taught both of mine recorder for several years - their interest grew with their proficiency, and now they are both enthusiastic musicians (one harp, one bass guitar). Both envisage continuing with their music-making into adulthood.

 

I learned instruments when I was small. I wasn't that enthusiastic and I didn't continue with them, but the knowledge I gained has allowed me to sing in choirs as an adult, a fulfilling and healthy experience.

 

So yes, I think that playing music is a very worthwhile experience for children. YMMV.

 

Laura

[FriedClams]

I have no musical talent. Nor does DH. But we require piano for both kids. They take a 45 minute lesson weekly and practice 40 minutes daily. For one kid - its something challenging. Not much challendes them. For the other - it show that discipline and practice work. Well. The benefit of being able to play, well, and read music are all wonderful things.

 

A second factor for us is that our piano teacher is an amazing mentor to our kids. I joke that I'd pay her without the lessons. She's a wonderful friend and teacher to them - and that relationship is worth its weight in gold.

 

Lastly, I see the future for music in the local church and I don't love it. Guitar chords, drums, breathy praise songs.... I want to make sure my kids can play accompaniment and read real music in a real hymnal, with real people singing. It's also a priority for our teacher.

 

[Dmmetler]

I'm a musician, so obviously music is important to me, but if DD were less interested and got less out of lessons, I'd teach her a general music appreciation class at home rather than private piano and theory. However, she loves theory and loves her teacher, and enjoys applying it on piano (she's not nearly as into the performance part of it, although she enjoys learning songs of her choosing-but she understands that playing piano is kind of a prerequisite to doing all the composition stuff she likes so much). Her weekly music lesson is one place that her enthusiasm for learning really, really comes out-she has a teacher who engages with her on her level, and has no trouble jumping from a level 2 piano book to college level theory concepts in a sentence or two.

 

I will say that this is probably going to be our last semester for dance. DD used to love it, and it was worth the money because she needed the focused motor skills practice, but increasing level and changing to a new teacher and increasing time demands have made it something that she is definitely reluctant to do-so we'll finish out this term that is already paid for, and in the fall, we'll look for something else, because there are easier/cheaper ways to get a PE credit! If she were at the same point with piano, we'd do likewise.

[MissKNG]

I'm not concerned about music lessons. Big girl does dabble with a flute but we aren't paying anyone to teach her. Though it's a great skill, I turned out fine without learning an instrument. I did try clarinet in 4th grade but thought it was just ok.

[zenjenn]

I think learning an instrument is excellent mental conditioning, and I love that mine are having the experience of playing in an orchestra with peers. I think there's a lot of value from playing an instrument that can't really be described or quantified. That said, I don't think I'd force the issue if they hated it. My kids are definitely not passionate musicians. but they enjoy it well enough and I consider it part of their education.

[jennynd]

I never get chance to learn any instrument other than recorders while I was young and I always jealous when my friends play, so, letting my kids to have music lesson is very important to me. Both my kids learn instrument of their choice. I do not ask them to practice a lot. My older who is just about to turn 9 does about 15 mins practice a day and my younger who is 5 does not practice at all. We do alternative weeks so each kid does lesson every other week. So you can see, we do it in a very lay back fashion.

My Son however will switch teacher in 2 weeks which is very exciting for him. The new teacher is a Juilliard graduate, and has the same first name as my DS. Ds vounteer to practice more ever since we arranged the switch, and he now want to do the lesson every week.

I do believe the instrument should be interests lead, but I also believe you need to give them the oppurtunity to develop the interests

[SailorMom]

I had my sons each take piano for about two years when they were very young - about 5 and 6 yo. Then they got to decide if they wanted to continue. Neither of them did, lol. My older son decided to take guitar lessons after he was about 13, but younger son really shows no interest. For me - it's always been interest led. However, this does not apply to music history and music appreciation :) No choice there.

[I.Dup.]

Sports and music are 2 things that dh and I just don't see much point in. Sure they're fun and great, but not worth all the effort in our opinion. We ARE huge readers and autodidacts, those are the 2 skills we plan on really encouraging. If we do well on installing those 2 in our children, I think we will feel pretty successful.

[dsmith]

There is absolutely no interest in learning an instrument here. There is a lot of music being listened to in the house and we enjoy learning about music and musical history, but ds has never shown a desire to play an instrument. He does enjoy Guitar Hero though. :coolgleamA:

[SarahW]

Just to add on to what I posted before:

 

My idea about teaching my kid basic music notation/theory is roughly akin to my idea that I need to sign him up for basic swimming lessons.

 

I don't expect him to become a concert pianist any more than I expect him to be the next Michael Phelps. But I think being able to read notes and also having a decent swimming stroke are two good skills to have in life. Will he really use either of these? Maybe not. But he could if he wanted to.

[Mimm]

My husband and I always felt that music was a good way for our children to learn some self discipline. That is the main reason they started taking piano lessons. They are in their third year now and enjoy it very much.

[MeaganS]

Growing up, the rule at my home was that we all had to be able to play the piano well enough that if needed, we could accompany hymns at church. I anticipate that we will have a similar rule in our home as our girls get older. I'd also really love them to be able to play another instrument as well, but that is more optional. So, yeah, I guess we are on the moderately concerned about music lessons scale.

[Julie Smith]

I suppose if I was to have to write or state a rule for music instruction it would be:

 

You have to take piano lessons till you pick another instrument. If you don't want to do either you have to start another activity (dance, art, sport, ...) that will occupy your time for at least 2 hours a week. Once you have proven that you like the other activity and will continue with it for a time then you can quit music lessons.

 

The activity has to have an instructor, coach, or tutor. Basically a role model who offers instruction of some kind.

[Crimson Wife]

I think being able to read music is important, and to that end we have invested in Music Ace Maestro software. That was about the going rate for 2 weeks' worth of piano lessons in my area.

 

If we had the disposable cash in our budget, I probably would have my kids study an instrument formally, but they are a luxury that we cannot afford at the current time.

[pehp]

Necessary....no....but valuable....yes.

 

Music is an important part of our lives. My children will take lessons (they will choose the instrument). I'm by no means an amazing pianist, but playing and singing is fun and adds a special layer to home life. My father plays guitar and some of my fondest childhood memories were falling asleep listening to him play. I think it is an excellent life skill to have, regardless of aptitude or talent. It is an element of home life that I treasure.

[Celia]

It's important.

 

http://www.cbc.ca/news/technology/story/2013/02/13/science-early-musical-training-brain.html

[Kalmia]

We do music appreciation, but no one in the family is at all musically inclined. Our talents lie in the visual arts. Oldest son did take piano lessons for a year, had zero interest, and the year ended when the music teacher (who was very sweet) took me aside and whispered that there are just some times when NOT continuing lessons is the best thing for the child...

 

So I say if your child has an interest in some area of the arts focus on that. Music is wonderful for those who love it and have the drive to practice. But music is not the only art that develops the brain. Translating three dimensional objects onto two dimensional paper is quite a brain-developing challenge, for example. Watch Vihart's YouTube math videos if you want to see how drawing and mathematical thinking are intimately connected. Creativity and out-of-the-box thinking in theater, dance, craft, and sculpture are brain developing too.

[MinivanMom]

To OP:

Well, some children genuinely enjoy music lessons. Not every child is having it crammed down their throats. Some children beg for instrument lessons and then happily practice everyday. Some families can easily afford lessons or have access to a free instrument and more affordable instruction. Some families like being busy. Some families only do music, so a lesson once a week and daily practice aren't that stressful. There is value in being able to read music. There is value in mastering an instrument. Music stretches the brain and enriches the spirit.

 

However . . .

 

Instrument lessons are not the only way to stretch the brain and enrich the spirit. If music isn't your child's thing . . . or . . . you are busy with lots of other activities . . . or . . . the money simply isn't in the budget at this time . . . that's okay. You can find other ways to stretch the brain, enrich the spirit, and expose your children to music (or the other arts). You don't need to attack others for their choice to pursue instrument lessons nor do you need to feel guilty that you have made a different choice. We each have only so much time, money, and energy to put into activities. Live and let live.

[stripe]

You can't do everything. Some people play sports as adults, and some don't. I think it's nice to be able to sing, and I really admire Laura for her singing, and others I know who do this. Including my grandma, who just sings regular old songs for fun. If it doesn't matter to you, and your kids do't care, then don't worry about it. I think that there are many ways to encourage endurance and teamwork, including sports and playing and instrument, but it doesn't have to be that one. Even Yo-Yo Ma, his parents, both, I think violin players, thought he would be the oddball, but he discovered he liked the cello and was good at it.

[redsquirrel]

I think it depends on what value you place on music lessons. Some people regard it as a nice extra, other people believe that it should be a passion and not required, others believe the study of music is part of being a well educated person. That is what I come up with off the top of my head, I am sure there are many more reasons.

 

I know for a fact that my kids had no interest in studying math, but I required it anyway. Now, my eldest does enjoy it, but I am sure he wouldn't if we hadn't slogged through those earlier years. Same for music lessons. Like many things it started out fun, then it became a chore and now it is an appreciated skill. He started playing when he was 5 and is about to turn 13. If it were still a slog, then I would allow him to drop it. He is old enough to be able to have input into his own education, and take responsibility to those decisions.

 

I regard music lessons to be as valuable as a good math education, but not as necessary. IOW, we can come up with the cash, so we do it. It hurts, but we make it happen because it is valuable to us.

[swimmermom3]

Our first child played piano for five years. She used to cry in time to the music during practice. The second child played piano for three years. Maybe two and a half if you subtract all the time his teacher had to take to show him the inner workings of the piano. The third child lasted three months on the piano. By then, I just didn't have it in me to make him practice. I took guitar lessons for years by my own choice and I never resented it. Dh was forced to take piano for several years and still does not have the good grace to lie to his 93 yo mother and say that he misses it. They finally made an arrangement where he could escape piano by joining the school orchestra. He played tuba. Too big to bring home to practice.

[cdrumm4448]

This is probably going to sound weird, but playing an instrument isn't just about interest, or improving cognitive ability, or music appreciation; it's also practical. When my kids grow up, if they're strapped for cash, they can throw an open violin case on the ground and play for money. I told you it would sound weird, but it is one of the many reasons if you live in my house, you will learn an instrument.

[2squared]

This is probably going to sound weird, but playing an instrument isn't just about interest, or improving cognitive ability, or music appreciation; it's also practical. When my kids grow up, if they're strapped for cash, they can throw an open violin case on the ground and play for money. I told you it would sound weird, but it is one of the many reasons if you live in my house, you will learn an instrument.

 

Just yesterday my 6yo was showing me his miming abilities. He didn't know what it was called, but he knew how to be a mime. He even had a container for collecting money. :laugh:

[stripe]

This is probably going to sound weird, but playing an instrument isn't just about interest, or improving cognitive ability, or music appreciation; it's also practical. When my kids grow up, if they're strapped for cash, they can throw an open violin case on the ground and play for money.

That is hilarious.

 

Once a friend in college spotted one of our instructors playing for cash at an outdoor mall.

[Laura Corin]

This is probably going to sound weird, but playing an instrument isn't just about interest, or improving cognitive ability, or music appreciation; it's also practical. When my kids grow up, if they're strapped for cash, they can throw an open violin case on the ground and play for money. I told you it would sound weird, but it is one of the many reasons if you live in my house, you will learn an instrument.

 

I've talked to Hobbes about money making opportunities with his harp: harpists are in demand for weddings and as background music at hotels. It might be a good student job for him. And if he sticks with the clarsach/Scottish harp, it's pretty portable.

 

This isn't a major reason for his learning, however.

 

Laura

[swellmomma]

I fluctuate back and forth in my concern for music lessons. My dd13 used to take violin lessons and all 3 oldest kids took piano. But that was back when we lived in the city within the boundaries of a free fine arts program for low income families in the inner city (we were not in the inner city, in fact our street was the last one on the surrounding boundary for the program). So they have all those private music lessons for free. Once we moved out here we lost that opportunity and lessons out here run about $50 an hour. I can't afford that. So they have not been taking lessons for nearly 3 years. And mostly I am okay with that, but sometimes I really wish they were. We have a piano that has keys that light up to teach you how to play the programmed songs. I am thinking I am actually going to haul that out of the basement and insist they work with it. I will not be paying for lessons, but there is a connection between music education and learning particularily math, AND piano like guitar is one fo those instruments that many do continue to play into adulthood as opposed to instruments like clarinet that I played in band. Actually if I could get my kids to learn band instruments they would qualify for extra training and camps through cadets, but they have to be able to play at a rudimentary level first. Easier said than done in a tiny rural town.

 

Due to cost I am not going to beat myself up for not having them in music lessons, but if the money was there they most certainly would be. So really my concern coincides with my income level.

[violamama]

I am a musician, and my husband is too (though he makes most of his income from other endeavors).

 

Our kids take lessons and love them, but I don't think I would call it "necessary". I actually really really hope neither of them chooses it for a career.

 

There are many (maybe even most?) wonderful things in life that aren't "necessary", though. Childhood study of music does seem to have an awful lot of beneficial side effects, but you can manufacture those in other ways, too.

 

I would miss music a LOT if I didn't have it to wallow in all the time.

[fraidycat]

My kids have not expressed any interest, so I don't really push it. DD has one of those light up keyboards that "teaches" the songs that they'll plunk away at every now and again, but not on a consistent basis.

 

My Dad is very musical - he can't read a note of music, but has self-taught by ear. He can play the guitar, accordion, harmonica, organ, and is now teaching himself to play the mandolin. He does a lot of strumming and singing in the evenings (almost every evening), just for fun. I was hoping some of that love would rub off on at least one of the kids, but so far it hasn't.

[lailasmum]

I go through phases of thinking its important to learn an instrument but the price of instruments and lessons always scuppers any plans. I learnt violin and did music theory for 7 years as a kid but it was pretty close to free, that is not available now. I do see the value in reading music as both my husband and I have used it working in theatre particularly in ballet and opera. I can't say I can play the violin after all those years learning though.

 

We do listen to a lot of music and have worked through a couple of different things about the orchestra and my dd did a general music class for a little while but she now doesn't like it. I guess I view it that if our kids decide to try an instrument I'l try my best to make it happen but otherwise we're happy with a more general music education.

[Donna]

This is probably going to sound weird, but playing an instrument isn't just about interest, or improving cognitive ability, or music appreciation; it's also practical. When my kids grow up, if they're strapped for cash, they can throw an open violin case on the ground and play for money. I told you it would sound weird, but it is one of the many reasons if you live in my house, you will learn an instrument.

 

It is very practical and there have been quite a lot of side benefits for us.

 

My kids have made money busking, playing for weddings, funerals, and birthday parties, and playing for festivals and other events. My dd will probably make nearly as much as me this month because she plays Irish music and has a pile of St. Paddy's Day gigs. We've gotten to do a lot of traveling as a result of their music playing though I know this isn't the norm.... but we didn't know it would be our norm either when the kids first started lessons. We've also met a lot of really nice people and get to see many live performances.

 

If they don't want to perform when they get older, they have enough skill to give lessons.

[KarenNC]

This is probably going to sound weird, but playing an instrument isn't just about interest, or improving cognitive ability, or music appreciation; it's also practical. When my kids grow up, if they're strapped for cash, they can throw an open violin case on the ground and play for money. I told you it would sound weird, but it is one of the many reasons if you live in my house, you will learn an instrument.

 

Guess one should also pick the instrument carefully. I don't see too many folks out busking with their pianos. :)

 

I've actually had that conversation with my daughter, but about art, not music :) . She really enjoys drawing people, so I've told her about options such as doing caricatures, as well as face painting and the possibility she could eventually give art lessons. Her art is currently giving her an opportunity to work on sets for a local community theater musical production. This isn't paid, but it's good experience. I'm also hopeful that, if she continues with aikido (currently been 6 years), she may be able to pick up some extra money as an instructor in the future. If her passion was computers or sewing or cooking or carpentry or car repair (all good skills to have), we'd talk about ways she could work with that on the side. I agree it's very important to help our kids see the "outside the box" possibilities for their interests.

 

For us, it boils down to what does the child care enough about to independently put effort into it. I fight enough educational battles on a daily basis over things I consider core---math, English, science, music appreciation, etc. I have a limited willingness to not only fight a daily battle over practice of something she doesn't care about, but also drive all over town and pay quite large amounts of money out of our limited budget for the privilege. ;) I'm investing all the discretionary money in lessons for things she does care about (and we drive 45 min one way for aikido). She had exposure to an instrument and to singing when younger (along with exposure to other areas like various sports, gymnastics, and dance), which was sufficient for our purposes. I will encourage practice and require attendance at lessons when I know there is an interest (so, for us, art and aikido), but I've flogged enough dead horses so far to not need to add any more to the stable. :)

 

To the OP--it's really okay not to do everything, even if "all the other homeschoolers are doing it." :D Go with their strengths/interests and what works in your family and don't feel guilty. No one can do everything or be even basically skilled in all areas, IMO. There are just not enough hours in the day.

[stripe]

Isn't this typically a code phrase for being a middle class or wealthy kid, too. Like, I play the piano means, my parents have room and money for a giant instrument for me, plus spare time and money for lessons. It's also a sign of refinement, which of course, not everyone (wink wink) cares about.

[mamajudy]

This is probably going to sound weird, but playing an instrument isn't just about interest, or improving cognitive ability, or music appreciation; it's also practical. When my kids grow up, if they're strapped for cash, they can throw an open violin case on the ground and play for money. I told you it would sound weird, but it is one of the many reasons if you live in my house, you will learn an instrument.

 

DH did this back when he was a music major in college. His extra work as a professional musician has been a nice supplement to our income, especially at Christmas time. As a band director for over 30 years and an adjunct professor at the community college, he has many students who still thank him for what he taught them. DH and I met in our high school band. We still enjoy playing music together, sometimes just for fun, sometimes in church or other venues. Music enriches our lives. Yes, there are studies out there (see the link that a previous poster gave) showing the cognitive benefits of learning music. For some people, it's important. Just as sports, dance, or scouting are important for some. Those things expand our horizons,giving us experiences that we may not otherwise have. For me, music has been a form of expression and a means of bringing pleasure to others. Looking back on my school years, music also gave me a sense of accomplishment and self-esteem. It was something I did well, and I worked at it to become even better. The lessons one learns from setting a goal (learn this piece of music, make first-chair, audition for and make such-and-such a band or orchestra) and achieving it, are valuable lessons for whatever one chooses to do in life.

 

We only have so many hours in a day, however, and it's up to us to decide what's important to us and what's not. Those parents who choose to do music lessons with their kids feel that it's worth the time and energy (and yes, money) they spend to do it. You may choose to spend your resources elsewhere. That's the beauty of homeschooling.

[KarenNC]

Isn't this typically a code phrase for being a middle class or wealthy kid, too. Like, I play the piano means, my parents have room and money for a giant instrument for me, plus spare time and money for lessons. It's also a sign of refinement, which of course, not everyone (wink wink) cares about.

 

I certainly think it *was* that, particularly prior to the mid-20th century. Historically, it was also one of the desirable activities for women of those classes (unlike, say, sports or carpentry), and one that could be done in a city setting. Now we have all sorts of other activities that can (but don't necessarily) indicate that---swim team, golf, horseback riding, ballet, gymnastics, etc. They all involve specialized equipment, instruction, access to a special setting, spare time (in some cases, lots of it), etc. These were all once really only accessible to the upper classes. Not quite so much anymore, I don't think.

 

Also, prior to the advent of the gramophone and radio, having someone able to play an instrument was the only way you had access to instrumental music on a regular basis in the home or small community.

[mamajudy]

Isn't this typically a code phrase for being a middle class or wealthy kid, too. Like, I play the piano means, my parents have room and money for a giant instrument for me, plus spare time and money for lessons. It's also a sign of refinement, which of course, not everyone (wink wink) cares about.

 

Usually, it's a matter of priorities. We lived a couple of years (before children) with only a bed, some lawn chairs, and a baby grand piano!

On the other hand, DH has students whose parents won't buy them a clarinet reed, but drive up to the school in their BMW to pick up their child, who is wearing the latest fashionable sneakers and texting on their new iphone. :glare:

[AngieW in Texas]

Dh insisted on piano lessons for the kids at first. He took piano for 8 years. I was forced into violin for 2 years and piano for 2 years and hated every second of it.

 

So our oldest started private piano lessons at 7yo. We switched teachers after about 6 months when her first teacher tried to ram her religion down our throats. We switched teachers again after about one year because her second teacher couldn't deal with her energy level. She had absolutely no interest in music at all, but dh insisted that she continue, so I found group lessons for her. She did those for one year. At that point, money became an issue and we dropped everything. Dd was ecstatic to be free.

 

Our oldest did art classes because that was where her passions led.

 

Our middle dd did piano lessons for one year in high school because that is what she chose to do as her fine arts credit. She could have done any instrument or choir or art or theater or music/art/theater history/appreciation, but playing piano was what she chose. She didn't care for it much, but she was glad that she did it for that one year. She hasn't touched the piano since then.

 

Our youngest lives for music. She is taking guitar, banjo, and voice lessons. She spends anywhere from 1 hour to several hours every day writing songs and practicing. I had no idea she was interested in music at all until she asked me about guitar 3 years ago. She bought her first guitar with her own money. Now she has 4 guitars (one classical, one Taylor acoustic, one 12-string, and one electric), a banjo, and a mandolin. She bought the classical, electric, and mandolin with her own money. She paid for half of the Taylor (we paid the rest). And the other two were Christmas/birthday gifts.

 

ETA:

Despite the fact that we have owned a keyboard with weighted keys for 13 years now, I have never once heard dh play it. His 8 years of forced piano lessons did NOT give him a love for the instrument. He won't touch the thing.