GraciebytheBay Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 So apparently I snore like a buzzsaw. I am trying to lose weight and hoping that will help, but I also have chronic congestion and a deviated septum. My dh confided that he has been exhausted lately from being woken up so many times in the night. He said he is having a hard time getting back to sleep and has tried to sleep on the couch some nights but our couch is terribly uncomfortable. Â I didn't want to believe that he wasn't sleeping well because of me (!) so I did a test one night. I slipped out, pillow in hand, one night and slept on the awful couch. In the morning, I asked how he slept. He answered, "I feel like a new man! You didn't snore at all last night!" :glare: Â I went out and bought a good air mattress for downstairs, but I am so sad! We still hang out at night just like always, but then I have to say goodnight and be apart from him. I just feel so weird about sleeping apart, like it's going to impact our marriage or something. So far, it's okay, but I do miss him. I do not miss him being grumpy from interrupted sleep, however. He really is more energetic and pleasant. Â Does anyone else sleep apart from their spouse? Has this been a problem in any way? Did you adjust quickly? Are you glad you did it? This is just such a bummer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Dh and I don't sleep in the same bed. We've never been able to do it. Both of us are light sleepers and for the first 14 years dh worked rotating shifts. And he is a volunteer firefighter so he sleeps with that __insert very bad word__ pager on which can go off at any time of the night. Â Finally about year 12 I'd had enough. Neither of us were getting any sleep and my sleep disorder was worsening. I was practically a zombie. Â He now has his bedroom and I have mine. When I do sleep (unlike last night) it is wonderful. If he gets up in the middle of the night to answer a fire call or to go pee I'm not disturbed. It is so terrific. I'm thinking when we build our house we each have a bedroom connected by a bath and dressing area. Easier access to middle of the night tea parties. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 I wish! I'm the one that hasn't slept for years because of his snoring, tossing, turning, etc. He sleeps like a rock, and could sleep through a bomb going off. I, on the other hand, hear every. single. stinking. noise! I sleep much better when he's not here. I would be a lot less cranky if I had my own room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissad2 Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Dh and I don't most of the time. He snores something awful and I've had a cosleeping child on and off for the last 6 or so years. It works for us :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reya Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Me and my body pillows that I'm using during pregnancy take up a LOT of room. We're sleeping apart probably until the baby is 3 months old or so. We have a guest room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 I'd HIGHLY recommend a sleep study to determine if you have apnea. I so seriously didn't want to do it - but i did it for my DH. He was miserable. Apparently, I stop breathing a lot when I sleep. Some snoring isn't caused by apnea, and yes, losing weight can help - but even thin people have apnea. Untreated sleep apnea causes serious long term health damage. Please go get a survey. If you need a cpap they don't take long to adjust to and your BOTH sleep a million times better. (Untreated apena also makes losing weight much harder.) Snoring can be a symptom - fix the problem! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Has your husband tried earplugs? They take a little getting used to, but they can work sometimes, too. I've been wearing them now for about five years, and they help a lot. I tried different brands and found one that's very comfortable. They won't always work, and if movement is a problem then obviously they don't work for that. But if it's just sound, and the earplugs can help block it enough so that your husband can sleep (they did for me), that might be a solution rather than separate rooms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 We don't sleep together most times. When the older kids are away at college I use one of their rooms. Sometimes he'll sleep on the floor if we're in the same room - he thinks I can't hear his snoring if I'm up on the bed and he's down on the floor... yeah right. But, he also is a snuggle sleeper wanna-be and I am most definitely in the "let me have my space" sleeper. So through the night he faces me (breathing and/or snoring loudly) and inches closer and closer to me. ~~~Shutters~~~~ When the kids are home I just end up on the couch usually. I even bought the last 2 couches with sleeping on it in mind. But, the current one is getting uncomfortable now. Â Anyway, I'm the light sleeper he's the snorer-heavy sleeper. He doesn't like it, but I am miserable and grumpy when I don't get a good night of sleep. In fact, last night was AWFUL. I love my kids but I will be looking forward to them going back to college so I can have a bedroom to myself again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraciebytheBay Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 I wish! I'm the one that hasn't slept for years because of his snoring, tossing, turning, etc. He sleeps like a rock, and could sleep through a bomb going off. I, on the other hand, hear every. single. stinking. noise! I sleep much better when he's not here. I would be a lot less cranky if I had my own room. This is my dh exactly. I sleep very well, but if I get up to use the bathroom or even turn over, he wakes and it takes him at least 15-30 minutes to go back to sleep. He says I move a lot (but I don't think I do - I think he's just sensitive. ;) He really is a different person this week. Much happier and less reactive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 During the first twelve or so years of my marriage, I always slept in the same bed as my husband. Now, I almost never sleep in the same room as him. It hasn't negatively impacted my marriage *at all*. There was no big adjustment and no resulting problems. Both of us sleep better. Honestly, I can't see myself ever wanting to switch back. Â Don't worry about it; let your husband get a good sleep, and you do the same! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraciebytheBay Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 I'd HIGHLY recommend a sleep study to determine if you have apnea. I so seriously didn't want to do it - but i did it for my DH. He was miserable. Apparently, I stop breathing a lot when I sleep. Some snoring isn't caused by apnea, and yes, losing weight can help - but even thin people have apnea. Untreated sleep apnea causes serious long term health damage. Please go get a survey. If you need a cpap they don't take long to adjust to and your BOTH sleep a million times better. (Untreated apena also makes losing weight much harder.) Snoring can be a symptom - fix the problem! I should probably do that. Right now, I am having another health issue (having surgery on Thursday), so when that is cleared up I will definitely look into it. Dh says he has never heard me stop breathing, but with my weight and snoring, it would be a good idea. Wonder if my insurance will cover it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraciebytheBay Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 Has your husband tried earplugs? They take a little getting used to, but they can work sometimes, too. I've been wearing them now for about five years, and they help a lot. I tried different brands and found one that's very comfortable. They won't always work, and if movement is a problem then obviously they don't work for that. But if it's just sound, and the earplugs can help block it enough so that your husband can sleep (they did for me), that might be a solution rather than separate rooms. We bought some earplugs, but they are too big for his little ears and gave him a headache! He has tried cutting them, but it is hard to keep them rounded. It is the movement as well. The funny thing is that I tend to wake easily when the older boys are out at night (unconsciously waiting for the to get home, I guess). I tried the earplugs one of those nights, and I slept like a log! I also bought him a white noise maker, but he could hear a high pitched whine and couldn't get used to it. He is not a complainer and is easy going, so I know he's trying! Poor dh can't catch a break. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Izzy Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 We do not sleep together anymore. I'm an insomniac and he is a really loud snorer so I don't get any sleep on the nights we do sleep together. It doesn't affect our marriage at all. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraciebytheBay Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 During the first twelve or so years of my marriage, I always slept in the same bed as my husband. Now, I almost never sleep in the same room as him. It hasn't negatively impacted my marriage *at all*. There was no big adjustment and no resulting problems. Both of us sleep better. Honestly, I can't see myself ever wanting to switch back. Â Don't worry about it; let your husband get a good sleep, and you do the same! :) That is very encouraging! Thank you for sharing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 I should probably do that. Right now, I am having another health issue (having surgery on Thursday), so when that is cleared up I will definitely look into it. Dh says he has never heard me stop breathing, but with my weight and snoring, it is definitely something I should look into. Wonder if my insurance will cover it? Â Many do, so you should definitely check into it. Â I have mild sleep apnea (7-9 times waking an hour, although I don't *remember* waking up), but Mr. Ellie falls asleep the nanosecond his body is in a prone position and the lights are out, and I don't keep him awake, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellesmere Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 It hasn't made things better or worse. Actually, it probably has made it better because I sleep so much better in a bed of my own and now I'm not cranky from being woken up or kept up by snoring. Â But it might be easier for me because I'm not the one who was making all the noise. But as far as I can tell, neither of us feel terribly sad about it. We're only apart at bedtime during the time we sleep, so it's not taking away from spending waking hours together. It also helps that neither of us like to be touched while sleeping, so it's not like we were snuggled up in the middle of the night. So, easy adjustment. I do not sleep well if I'm in the house by myself, but separate spaces for sleep really helps us both (because apparently, I kick people HARD in the night if they make a racket.) Â One of my relatives had a real problem with snoring and did a sleep study. In his case, a CPAP made all the difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraciebytheBay Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 Sometimes he'll sleep on the floor if we're in the same room - he thinks I can't hear his snoring if I'm up on the bed and he's down on the floor... yeah right. But, he also is a snuggle sleeper wanna-be and I am most definitely in the "let me have my space" sleeper. So through the night he faces me (breathing and/or snoring loudly) and inches closer and closer to me. ~~~Shutters~~~~ Â This sounds like an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond!! I'm sorry for laughing! The only available bed is my grad student's bed. The problem is that he shares a room with ds15. For now, I'm on an air mattress in the living room. It's not horrible but definitely not my idea of what adulthood is supposed to be about! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyontheFarm Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Can I be a fly on the wall when you tell your builder that you need a tea party room connected to your bedroom? LOL My best friend is a builder, and she probably wouldn't even bat an eyelash after some of the homes she's been asked to build. Â Dh and I don't sleep in the same bed. We've never been able to do it. Both of us are light sleepers and for the first 14 years dh worked rotating shifts. And he is a volunteer firefighter so he sleeps with that __insert very bad word__ pager on which can go off at any time of the night. Â Finally about year 12 I'd had enough. Neither of us were getting any sleep and my sleep disorder was worsening. I was practically a zombie. Â He now has his bedroom and I have mine. When I do sleep (unlike last night) it is wonderful. If he gets up in the middle of the night to answer a fire call or to go pee I'm not disturbed. It is so terrific. I'm thinking when we build our house we each have a bedroom connected by a bath and dressing area. Easier access to middle of the night tea parties. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Dh sleeps on the couch because of his back and I sleep in "our" bedroom. We have done this for several years. I lose so much sleep because of pregnancies, newborn nursing, cosleeping for the first year, that I can't imagine how I would get ANY sleep if dh was in the bed with me. He snores and tosses and turns and I would just be waking up even more. I don't know how any couple gets any sleep when they sleep together. Â It doesn't negatively affect our marriage at all and we've been having a baby on average every 18 months for many years so it obviously doesn't affect our teA life! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pdalley Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 We sleep in separate beds and have for sometime. I think we are pretty compatible in most areas but not when it comes to sleep. I like it cold. He likes it hot. He snores - in my ear. I like quiet and my space. He needs a different setting on the mattress than I do. I need a mattress I had lift the head on because of reflux, etc... Â My MIL has always been horrified when she's stayed with us. She said I was giving him a license to cheat on me. I finally had enough and told her that we didn't only restrict ourselves to teA in the bedroom. It happened in other parts of the house as well. She finally shut up about it after that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 We share a bed but I wear industrial-strength earplugs. If your husband is interested, 'spark plugs' are very comfortable. You have the roll them up tight and inserted them deeply so that they don't stick out of the ear canal. Â Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Can I be a fly on the wall when you tell your builder that you need a tea party room connected to your bedroom? LOL My best friend is a builder, and she probably wouldn't even bat an eyelash after some of the homes she's been asked to build. Â Either I did not explain it well(I'm betting on that having been awake the better part of 24 hours) or you've miss read something. I do not want a tea party room connected to my bedroom. I want a bathroom/dressing area connecting two bedrooms. :coolgleamA: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Â This sounds like an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond!! I'm sorry for laughing! The only available bed is my grad student's bed. The problem is that he shares a room with ds15. For now, I'm on an air mattress in the living room. It's not horrible but definitely not my idea of what adulthood is supposed to be about! Â Â I hear ya! It's only been in this last year that I've been able to use one of the kids rooms. We re-configured so 2 college boys share a room and my youngest is by himself. Â I love the idea of a room off the MB but I don't think we'll be building a house anytime soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Dh sleeps on the couch because of his back and I sleep in "our" bedroom. We have done this for several years. I lose so much sleep because of pregnancies, newborn nursing, cosleeping for the first year, that I can't imagine how I would get ANY sleep if dh was in the bed with me. He snores and tosses and turns and I would just be waking up even more. I don't know how any couple gets any sleep when they sleep together. Â It doesn't negatively affect our marriage at all and we've been having a baby on average every 18 months for many years so it obviously doesn't affect our teA life! Â Â I think the opposite is true. At least for us it is. I'm not too romantically minded after spending a sleepless night listening to him snore. And my husband tosses and turns... and it's not that gentle turning over either. Until we got a foam topped mattress, it was like sleeping on a waterbed with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 So apparently I snore like a buzzsaw. I am trying to lose weight and hoping that will help, but I also have chronic congestion and a deviated septum. My dh confided that he has been exhausted lately from being woken up so many times in the night. He said he is having a hard time getting back to sleep and has tried to sleep on the couch some nights but our couch is terribly uncomfortable. Â I didn't want to believe that he wasn't sleeping well because of me (!) so I did a test one night. I slipped out, pillow in hand, one night and slept on the awful couch. In the morning, I asked how he slept. He answered, "I feel like a new man! You didn't snore at all last night!" :glare: Â I went out and bought a good air mattress for downstairs, but I am so sad! We still hang out at night just like always, but then I have to say goodnight and be apart from him. I just feel so weird about sleeping apart, like it's going to impact our marriage or something. So far, it's okay, but I do miss him. I do not miss him being grumpy from interrupted sleep, however. He really is more energetic and pleasant. Â Does anyone else sleep apart from their spouse? Has this been a problem in any way? Did you adjust quickly? Are you glad you did it? This is just such a bummer. Â Mine falls asleep on the sofa quite frequently, and just stays there. He gets up in the middle of the night anyway for work, and he says I snore! Can you believe that?? I KNOW THAT isn't true (ha ha). Â Sometimes he sleeps with me and sometimes not. Â My verdict: let the poor man get his sleep however he can! You can still have a good marriage if you are not in the same bed every night. Sleep-deprived people are grouchy. I'm dangerous if sleep-deprived, being menopausal! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissKNG Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 We sleep apart when he falls asleep on the couch. Sometimes he will wake up and come to bed and sometimes he will just stay on the couch until the girls and I get up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Dh sleeps on the couch because of his back and I sleep in "our" bedroom. We have done this for several years. I lose so much sleep because of pregnancies, newborn nursing, cosleeping for the first year, that I can't imagine how I would get ANY sleep if dh was in the bed with me. He snores and tosses and turns and I would just be waking up even more. I don't know how any couple gets any sleep when they sleep together. Â It doesn't negatively affect our marriage at all and we've been having a baby on average every 18 months for many years so it obviously doesn't affect our teA life! Â Some people are married to those men who don't move all night. They lay their like lumps. I don't move much, actually...and neither does my daughter. Her bed looks the same when she wakes up as when she got in it. Â My husband and son flip-flop all night like they are stunt doubles in a movie, from what I can tell. Â It's hard to sleep with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Dh and I don't most nights. He likes to fall asleep with the TV on, we don't have one in our bedroom since we moved. I hate noise. I snore awful, he does too. I twist and turn 50 times a night, have insomnia, and he has to get up about 4:30 or 5 for work. He sleeps on the couch by choice. Personally, I enjoy having the bed to myself. I think dh still has the mindset that it is somehow wrong, but our new bed hurts his back. Â Once ds graduates I'm hoping to turn the classroom (which is a bedroom) into my own ladies retreat with bed. Then dh can have his bedroom back. I'm not sure how keen he will be on the idea, but then we'll have "suites". I already use the closet in the classroom for my clothes as the closets are small. Â We used to clean houses for some very old money people. I was surprised how many older couples had their own bedrooms, it's seemed the standard thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Snoring really does affect the sleep partner's health. I would try to find ear plugs that work. Outside of that I'd do what it takes to protect his sleep and health. Â For yourself and him, though, I'd have a physician order a sleep study. If you have apnea treatment will greatly benefit your health (and his too if he sleeps with you). My insurance did cover my sleep study and apnea treatment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Lately I've taken to sleeping in the kids' room. I'll go get Digby out of bed and put him in w/ DH. Then I'll sleep in his bed. DH's snoring got so bad I wasn't sleeping at all. Took forever to fall asleep. This set up works because Digby and DH are both such heavy sleepers. Digby doesn't wake up when I move him and DH's snoring doesn't bother him. That leaves me, Pigby and Chuck. Pigby is somewhat annoying because he's my teeth grinder, but he hasn't done it in awhile. Chuck seems to think that she can wake up four times a night to nurse, but I'm putting a kabosh on that. Pigby can't sleep in there because 1) DH's snoring wakes him up and bothers him. 2) He sleeps on the top bunk and I can't get him off w/o waking him 3)Pigby's a thrasher in his sleep. People get beat up sleeping next to him. Â The only problem is that I have no idea when Digby wakes up and goes downstairs. Sometimes he sleeps in, sometimes he's up when it's dark. He's my destructive child, so I have to make sure he isn't ruining/destroying something/setting the house on fire. Â DH was against the sleeping separately. He's a snuggler and a cuddler. I am not. Geez, I am not. I can't sleep that way. So after too many miserable nights where I was thinking too many ill thoughts toward him, I went and did the Digby switcheroo. DH didn't even notice until he woke up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joules Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 We bought some earplugs, but they are too big for his little ears and gave him a headache! He has tried cutting them, but it is hard to keep them rounded. It is the movement as well. The funny thing is that I tend to wake easily when the older boys are out at night (unconsciously waiting for the to get home, I guess). I tried the earplugs one of those nights, and I slept like a log! I also bought him a white noise maker, but he could hear a high pitched whine and couldn't get used to it. He is not a complainer and is easy going, so I know he's trying! Poor dh can't catch a break. Â Â After trying several brands, I use Flent's Quiet Please:http://www.drugstore.com/flents-quiet-please--foam-ear-plugs/qxp39878?catid=184434They seem to work better with my small ears. They aren't rounded, but you roll the end between your fingers to squish it and then it expands to fit your ear comfortably. I don't hear my dh snore at all anymore. Since it is sad for you, I wouldn't give up after only trying one brand of earplugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 I'm another one who has not slept with my husband for years (in the sleep sense). In my case, it is because of my pain. For a number of years I slept in an armchair because it was too painful to lie down. Now I can lie down but I still toss and turn and get up at least once a night. Last night I read for an hour in the wee hours trying to get back to sleep. Dh sleeps so much better without me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Yes, because HE snores like a freight train and also falls asleep at the drop of a hat, whereas I have chronic insomnia. It's either sleep separately or smother him with a pillow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freckles Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 We sleep seperately because dh works the night shift. I always tease him that we are sailors on a submarine. The bed never gets cold before the next shift arrives. I was surprised how much better dh sleeps during the day. He is an insomniac. I enjoy sleeping in the middle of the bed without being pushed back over to the side. We snuggle sometimes in the morning before he goes to sleep. I don't miss being smacked in the face or chest by a flailing arm in the middle of the night. It's working okay so far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tabrizia Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 We do, and have for years. Every once in awhile we sleep in the same room, but it is rare. DH's snoring makes it really hard for my insomniac self to sleep. I am far happier and so is he if we sleep in seperate rooms. At the moment DH tends to sleep with the baby and I have the Master Bedroom to myself till sometime around 1 or 2 am when the two biggers come in and snuggle up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 What helped me are Hearos Xtreme ear plugs (Rite Aid, Amazon) and using a 3" thick memory foam mattress topper. Snoring and moving are both taken care of. Still, I sleep on the couch sometimes because I don't like wearing earplugs. Â DH was tested for sleep apnea and he claims he doesn't have it because his oxygen saturation level was 99% the entire night. The sleep lab disagrees, but DH refuses to get fitted for the mask thing no matter what. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amsunshine Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Yes, because HE snores like a freight train and also falls asleep at the drop of a hat, whereas I have chronic insomnia. It's either sleep separately or smother him with a pillow. Â Â :lol: This describes us exactly! I sometimes marvel at how quickly dh can fall asleep, and then stay asleep with all the racket of his own snoring. :blink: Â I would get earplugs, but I'm paranoid that I won't hear the kids at night if they need me. So, the best option for us is usually to sleep separately. Everyone is happier that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolosoli Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 We sleep separately while the kids are younger because I cannot deal with the lack of sleep from his snoring/moving all over the place and then take care of the kids all day. He not only snores...but, he twitches and moves around a lot! Â I think it is very common!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Yes, because HE snores like a freight train and also falls asleep at the drop of a hat, whereas I have chronic insomnia. It's either sleep separately or smother him with a pillow. Â Â LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Okay, I guess we're weird. Slept in the same bed for 34 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 wow, it looks like a lot of us sleep separately for sanity's sake. Â A few weeks ago dh and I were watching a Brit. Mystery (can't remember which one), but in the show it was discovered that the deceased person and his wife were no longer sleeping in the same room. That was a baaaad sign and immediately made her a suspect because "there were problems in the marriage." I remember thinking "Oh dear I hope the police never have to search MY house." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwallowTail Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 My dh and I both snore, I am an insomniac who can't go back to sleep if awakened, and he is a night owl who stays up past my turn-in time, and dd wakes up needing one of us most nights. No, we have not slept in the same room in years. I get panic attacks when he mentions it might be a good thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 :lol: This describes us exactly! I sometimes marvel at how quickly dh can fall asleep, and then stay asleep with all the racket of his own snoring. :blink: Â I would get earplugs, but I'm paranoid that I won't hear the kids at night if they need me. So, the best option for us is usually to sleep separately. Everyone is happier that way. Â You know that meme that's been floating around FB, the one about "It shouldn't be 'slept like a baby.' It should be 'slept like a husband.'" Yeah, that describes my husband. He was in total denial about his snoring too. One day he fell asleep on the couch and I used his phone to record several minutes of it. GEEZ! A person should not have to try and sleep next to that. Â I used to use earplugs when Pigby was an only child. But then I had two more children who don't sleep through the night and a husband who wouldn't wake if a tank came through the house. I'm terrified of not hearing the fire alarm, so sleeping w/ the two quiet kids works best for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoot Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 I often sleep on the couch or floor instead of sleeping in bed with DH. He prefers (on sheer principle rather than comfort) that we sleep in the same bed, though I would prefer if we had separate bedrooms. I'm just much more comfortable when I sleep alone. Â I fall asleep in seconds and sleep like a rock. I can also sleep through absolutely anything and wake up frequently either coughing/gasping (more like aspirating), pawing at the bed, floor, walls etc. looking for whatever it is I'm dreaming about, talking in my sleep, or having nightmares. Years ago I used to sleepwalk, too. DH, on the other hand, takes hours to fall asleep, has the tv on until midnight or later to try to "help" him fall asleep, tosses and turns all night, snores etc. None of that affects my own sleep but the second I start coughing, pawing, talking etc. he's wide awake. You'd think DH would be on board with wanting his own room. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garddwr Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 DH likes his personal space when sleeping--it was actually really funny when we were first married because I kept rolling over to snuggle by him and he kept rolling away until he was barely clinging to the edge of the bed. These days he gets his own bed and I get babies to snuggle with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
briansmama Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 So nice to know we are not the only ones! I became a very light sleeper after having dc. My Dh flips around like a fish in bed at night so after hearing me get mad a few too many times, he began sleeping on the couch. We still think that once the kids get older we'll go back to sleeping in the same bed, but for now, it's best for us both to get a great night's rest. Â My MIL had a big issue with it too, even went to my own parents claiming that she was "very concerned" about our marriage because I "make" Dh sleep on the couch. At this point, my Dh prefers it! He loves falling asleep after setting the sleep timer on the TV (I need the room quiet), and he likes staying up later than I do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 A number of years ago, I ended up having to tell my brother that I slept apart from dh. I was rather embarrassed and was afraid that he would think that we were having marital problems (we weren't and aren't). To my amazement, he was so relieved to hear it and then he and his wife of many years started to sleep in different rooms too and slept well for the first time in years! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southcarolinamom Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 We've been sleeping apart for about 2 years. My dh's snoring became progressively louder and more frequent over the past 10-12 years. It was so bad that I finally started sleeping on the couch just so I could sleep for a few uninterrupted hours. I hate it .... but .... it's the only way I can sleep. His snoring is so loud that when he travels with other people, he has to have a hotel room ALL TO HIMSELF because he would keep the other guests awake! When he works at a summer camp every June, he has a CABIN all to himself, because his snoring is so loud. The girls' cabins can hear him snoring from 30 feet away!! Yep, the snoring is pretty bad, but a girl's gotta sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZeeMommy Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Sometimes hubby and I sleep together, sometimes not. He snores, but not bad and only the first half-hour, which is the bare minimum for how long it takes for me to get to sleep. (He's got a lot of funny kinds of snores, so it's funny to me, especially the time he sounded like a percolator coffee pot!) He has to get up at 4am on the days he works, so that's when he usually sleeps out on the couch. He's also periodically switched from bed to couch at night throughout our marriage, since he's got a bum left shoulder that bothers him when he lays on it. Oh, and little munchkins waking up at night or crawling into bed with mom have sent him out to the couch at times too. Sleep is much, much, much more important - I spent over a year working third shift before we got married and realized then how essential a good amount of rest is to one's capabilities, demeanor, and health. Our marriage problems, when we have them, have more to do with a lot bigger issues than whether or not we're in the same bed at night. And beds aren't the only places to have "fun"! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Down_the_Rabbit_Hole Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Hubby and I do now. When I broke my leg about 2 yrs ago I slept on the sofa because it was just easier for me. After the broken leg, I realized the sofa was more comfortable since it has two cushions and my hip nestles in the gap they make and I can lean my back against the sofa back. Needles to say, hubby started to spread out in the bed during this time. Anytime we try my going back in the bed we realize the bed is not as big as it use to be. It works for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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