Name issues: Does this happen to your kids?

[Tammi K]

My youngest daughter (14) is named AnnaClaire. ANNA + CLAIRE together in one name. Is it too much to ask for people to call her by the name with which I and she introduce herself?????

 

It really irritates me. Yesterday we went to get our military base access cards renewed. EVERY TIME the clerk called her he said 'Anna' I assumed he was just being familiar but when we got her card it said Anna C. Lastnamehere.

 

I wouldn't mind if she introduced herself as Anna. But she doesn't. She either uses AnnaClaire or AC. No that she's older, I let her be in charge and raise the issue if she choses. But, why do people do this? If you introduce yourself as Robert, I wouldn't call them Bob. I wouldn't call Kimberly by Kim unless she introduced herself that way.

 

Urg...just venting.....

[Jen in PA]

:grouphug:My daughter has a hard time with her name, too. It is only three syllables! People just can't wrap their ears around it. After repeating it 2 or 3 times she usually just offers them a shortened version.

[Celia]

Hmm. It's an unusual name. I think I'd expect people to mess it up, and get your child used to politely saying " I prefer to be referred to by my full name, AnnaClaire".

[Belacqua]

Names do seem to befuddle people.

 

My husband has two middle names. Usually, it doesn't cause a problem; there's a space for one, so he just uses the first. Sometimes, though, for something terribly official, he has to use his entire legal name. One clerk at the passport office was intensely put out that she needed to figure out what to do. She tried squishing them into one composite middle name. At one point, she sighed heavily, looked at my husband, and asked him, "So, are you, like, a duke or something?"

[Hwin]

No, if my son's name is shortened it turns into a girl's name. :P

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

My pastor's wife called ds5 by a shortened version of his name for a while. :glare: He has a beautiful name and I hate the truncated version. It always confused him when she called him that because he didn't identify himself as that. I finally got her to stop.

 

I would never do that to someone. I call them what they introduce themselves/their kids as.

[Jpoy85]

C has a bit of trouble with the spelling of her name. People spell it with an A instead of an I. So I told her to tell people " Its with an I, not an A". :)

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

Names do seem to befuddle people.

 

My husband has two middle names. Usually, it doesn't cause a problem; there's a space for one, so he just uses the first. Sometimes, though, for something terribly official, he has to use his entire legal name. One clerk at the passport office was intensely put out that she needed to figure out what to do. She tried squishing them into one composite middle name. At one point, she sighed heavily, looked at my husband, and asked him, "So, are you, like, a duke or something?"

 

:lol::lol:

[Element]

No, but I wanted to pop into this thread to tell you I absolutely adore your daughter's beautiful name!

[Delirium]

We usually get people that pronounce Gillian like fish gills. Sorry people are thoughtless.

[fairfarmhand]

I have the opposite problem.

 

My daughter's name is Brooke (first name) Lynne (middle name)

 

People call her Brooklynne all the time.

[SKL]

I agree with you.

 

But I just have to say that so many times when a little kid tells me his name, and it's a long and unusual name, I can't figure out what he's saying. Even if he repeats it for my benefit. (And of course his proud parent doesn't help me out, since the little genious obviously has the meet-and-greet under control.)

 

I know this is not your daughter's issue since she's 14 and "AnnaClaire" is not difficult to pronounce. Just wanted to mention it as I've seen similar complaints here along the lines of "why won't people call my son by his name, Jean-Pierre-Marvelliou?" Um, kuz it sounds to me like "zapamawoo" and I am hoping you didn't really do that to your kid. (Apologies to all those I no doubt offended just now! :tongue_smilie:)

 

My daughter's first name has four syllables and also sounds like two shorter names put together. But most people get her (unusual) name pretty quick. They tend to butcher my other daughter's name, which is a very ordinary, common, easily spelled, five-letter name. Whatever!

[jujsky]

We usually get people that pronounce Gillian like fish gills. Sorry people are thoughtless.

 

To be fair, I once knew a Gillian who pronounced her name that way. Unusual spellings/names are difficult for people.

[SKL]

Names do seem to befuddle people.

 

My husband has two middle names. Usually, it doesn't cause a problem; there's a space for one, so he just uses the first. Sometimes, though, for something terribly official, he has to use his entire legal name. One clerk at the passport office was intensely put out that she needed to figure out what to do. She tried squishing them into one composite middle name. At one point, she sighed heavily, looked at my husband, and asked him, "So, are you, like, a duke or something?"

 

I hired a guy from Brazil whose name was Rafael A.....o y S...a P..s de M..o. (Yep, seven words, totaling 29 letters.) He had some interesting moments when it came to doing official stuff. I seem to recall that his marriage license (gotten in a non-Latin European country) was something of a nightmare.

[Evergreen State Sue]

I met a family again this week who have a Spanish accent. The first and last time I met them was a year ago, and couldn't remember their names. I asked the little boy and he immediately said his name and spelled it. I still couldn't get it and had to have him repeat it. I finally got his name right. Then the mom told me her name, I repeated it incorrectly, she and her friend both corrected me. I repeated it correctly. Then she told me I could call her by a shortened version of the name. To tell you the truth, I still can't remember her name. Sometimes names just don't stick with me. It is so embarrassing for me and I'm sure for them. You would think an uncommon name would be easier to remember.

 

I knew someone I saw almost weekly who had a combination name similar to your daughter's name. I could never remember which two names they were because I had never heard them combined before as a first name. I was so afraid I would say the wrong combination so I rarely called her by her first name. I'm so sorry.

[mommaduck]

Names do seem to befuddle people.

 

My husband has two middle names. Usually, it doesn't cause a problem; there's a space for one, so he just uses the first. Sometimes, though, for something terribly official, he has to use his entire legal name. One clerk at the passport office was intensely put out that she needed to figure out what to do. She tried squishing them into one composite middle name. At one point, she sighed heavily, looked at my husband, and asked him, "So, are you, like, a duke or something?"

:lol:

 

My youngest has two middle names. Anything official usually only comes with her first middle name listed as though the second middle name doesn't exist.

[Hoot]

I always call people by the name they introduce themselves as or the name they say they prefer but really, it doesn't bother ME. My son, Quentin, gets called every name in the book - Wintin, Clinton, Quint, Clint... And then there are the nicknames - Q-minator, Q-tip, Q-T-Pie, Q-Man. My name is Crissy and I have ALWAYS had a hard time with it. People either spell it Chrissy or think it's short for Christina or Christine. I even had a lady insist once that it MUST be short for something when I wrote it on some official document. Honestly, it doesn't bother me. We even joke that we answer to pretty much anything. :tongue_smilie: Oh, and we have lived in our home for 15 yrs. and our neighbors have lived here longer. We talk with the man next door ALL the time and yet he STILL calls my son Brandon. :lol:

 

Last year there was an Anastasia in my class. She was introduced as Anastasia, but on all of her papers she would write Ana. Assuming that's what she preferred to be called, I started calling her Ana. Well, mom flipped. her. wig. She came in and positively snapped, saying that if she wanted her daughter called Ana, she would have named her Ana... and on and on. I seriously didn't get the big deal.

[SKL]

:lol:

 

My youngest has two middle names. Anything official usually only comes with her first middle name listed as though the second middle name doesn't exist.

 

Many adoptive parents keep their kids' birth names as extra middle names. I thought about doing that, but a friend of mine was so horrified by the idea that I dropped it. I'm glad. Life is complicated enough.

 

A few weeks ago a mom of twin girls was complaining that people mix up her kids' names. The names are the same except that one has a long A where the other has a short A. (Think Cassie and Casey.) Personally I think if you choose names that way, you're setting yourself up. (Though, people mix up my kids even though they are not twins and don't have sing-song names.)

[ThatCyndiGirl]

I would have assumed that Anna is her first name and Claire was her middle name. It sounds that way to my ears. It's not personal.

[melbotoast]

DH has this problem too. He has a common 3-syllable name that everyone wants to shorten to one syllable. I know it drove his parents nuts as well.

[TranquilMind]

My youngest daughter (14) is named AnnaClaire. ANNA + CLAIRE together in one name. Is it too much to ask for people to call her by the name with which I and she introduce herself?????

 

It really irritates me.

 

Common hazard with longer, commonly shortened names. Our kids' names don't have any short nicknames, but we hear that lots of people have this happen. It seems like only Mom and Dad, and maybe the sibs will keep calling a child by the longer name as life goes on.

[milovany]

We usually get people that pronounce Gillian like fish gills. Sorry people are thoughtless.

 

I know a little girl Gillian whose parents pronounce it this way, not like Jillian. I do think it's an optional pronunciation for the name.

[Dealea86]

If you introduce yourself as Robert, I wouldn't call them Bob. I wouldn't call Kimberly by Kim unless she introduced herself that way.

 

You might not, but there are a lot of people out there who will. DD's name has a somewhat common nickname that I'm not particularly fond of. I like her full name. But there are so many people who insist on calling her by the nickname, even though we persist in only using the full name. (Including my FIL, btw... I have to bite my tongue a lot for that one.)

[fhjmom]

We don't have that problem because one of my criteria for choosing names was that the name is not easily shortened nor does it have a common nickname. I wanted to name my kids using full first names that would be what they are called and it be obvious to other people.

 

Being a former teacher, I hated having to srot through a class role and have half the class go by something other than what was on my records, some of them not even close to their given names. :tongue_smilie:

 

We do have a different problem with DS though. His first name is a common last name, but still not way out of the ordinary for a boy's first name. (It was my grandmother's maiden name, which is why we chose it.) His last name is my maiden name, which is a common, although older, girl's first name. All the time when I fill out forms, people will reverse them and call him Lastname Firstname and be surprised that he is a boy. :tongue_smilie:

[Ellie]

I hate it when that happens.

 

In this case, it would be important for you to be sure that her name is spelled correctly (whether the capital C is in there or not). We once had a very tense few minutes while trying to rent a car to get home to San Diego from Los Angeles (long pathetic story); the rental car agent called directory assistance in San Diego and asked for Ellie Andrew, but the operator heard AndrewS instead, and couldn't find me. I asked for her supervisor, who actually listened carefully and there I was after all.

 

In short, alphebetically, Anna comes before Annaclaire (remember that caps don't matter when you're alphabetizing), and that could definitely be an issue somewhere down the road. So, yeah, people are dumb for not using the name you actually told them in the first place, but sometimes if you don't make a big deal, there could be a disaster.

 

(When I tell people my last name, I add, "We couldn't afford the S." They laugh...and they remember that it's Andrew, not AndrewS.)

[happypamama]

I would find that very annoying. I'd suggest that she politely tell people, "No, my name is AnnaClaire" until they get the hint. My oldest son is Andrew; he's never been Andy. We never introduced him as Andy, and he prefers Andrew. (I don't mind Andy, but I wanted it to be his choice, so I started off calling him Andrew.) Nobody ever shortens it to Andy.

 

(Otoh, my younger sons are Benjamin and Zachary, and I shorten them all the time, LOL, and so do other people. I guess, to me, Andy isn't really any shorter to say than Andrew, but Ben and Zach are significantly shorter than the full names. I think it has a lot to do with personality, too; my middle son is so a "Ben," happy-go-lucky and laid-back, but my oldest son is more serious and grown-up, definitely an "Andrew" more than an "Andy.")

[carriede]

I had to do some soul searching with my daughter's name.

 

First, our last name starts with a lower case letter, but is all one word, similar to "deMarco".

 

I wanted to name her firstname: Anne Marie, middlename: none, lastname: "deMarco". So, Anne Marie (nothing) "deMarco". I knew this was asking for trouble.

 

So I comprised by making her first name one word and giving her my mom's middle name. So, Annemarie Kay "deMarco".

 

But we call her Annie alot too. :)

[Mommy_of_4]

No, but my kids have really common names that cannot be shortened. For some reason though my grandpa always calls DS "Josh" when his name is Logan. It happens every time we see him.

[Bonkers247]

This happens a lot with Katherine. I'll introduce her as Katherine and the person will say, "ah, Katie!" I just tell them they can call her that if they want but don't expect her to respond.

[Rebel Yell]

I would have assumed that Anna is her first name and Claire was her middle name. It sounds that way to my ears. It's not personal.

 

:iagree:

 

And AnnaClaire isn't a common double-word name, like BethAnne used to be.

 

Because of that, some people will probably assume she is introducing herself by her first and middle names. no offense meant, most likely.

[mrsrevmeg]

For some reason though my grandpa always calls DS "Josh" when his name is Logan. It happens every time we see him.

 

How funny. My grandfather called Nathaniel "Henry" because he thought Nathaniel sounded like an old man name.

My kids' names are Nathaniel, Benjamin, and Samuel. They are constantly having to correct people who call them Nathan, Ben, and Sam.

[Pretty in Pink]

Your daughter's name is beautiful but I see why people make the mistake. Her first name is two names run together as one. People probably think that she is just going by both her first and middle names, which some people do, but I see why the guy at the I.D. card office made that mistake. It seems foreseeable to me and easy to avoid. "I am X and this is my daughter, AnnaClaire, all one name." I'm sure explaining it might be tiresome but that's what happens with names oftentimes.

 

I have a Josef and I usually just say "Josef with an F" when I know someone will need to spell his name. No big deal.

[Belacqua]

I'm reminded of an anecdote I read many years ago. Parents wanted to name their daughter something that couldn't easily be nicknamed, and after much thought named her Amber. Upon taking the baby home, they heard her older brother greet her with, "Hiya, Amberger!"

 

I really believe there are some who are just determined to call people something other than their names. Maybe it makes them feel special?

[Catwoman]

We usually get people that pronounce Gillian like fish gills. Sorry people are thoughtless.

 

I don't know that they are necessarily thoughtless. Clueless, maybe, but I don't think most people would intentionally mispronounce someone's name.

 

I know that Gillian is pronounced like Jillian, but I would assume that many people wouldn't. It looks like Gill-ian, so I wouldn't be at all surprised if people pronounced it phonetically.

 

I don't consider Gillian to be a particularly unusual name, so this doesn't necessarily apply to your dd, but I do think that if you give your child an unusual or uncommon name, you have to forgive people for mispronouncing it, and not assume that they should automatically know how to say it or spell it.

[fraidycat]

My kids names are not easily shortened, if at all. But, DD gets called by similar names more often than her own name. She doesn't care, so I don't either. That could be because I rarely call her by her name at all, but by one of her several nicknames. It probably really throws people off when she introduces herself as a two syllable name starting with an A, and two seconds later I say "Hey Lou, blah blah blah" and she responds. LOL

Edited August 9, 2012 by fraidycat

[Catwoman]

I have a Josef and I usually just say "Josef with an F" when I know someone will need to spell his name. No big deal.

 

There are a few different spellings for my ds's name, too, and we chose a less common one, so most people spell it the common way.

 

And it's not the end of the world. Ds is used to it, and politely corrects people as necessary.

 

A woman I know has a dd whose name is spelled unusually (to put it mildly :tongue_smilie:.) It sounds like a very common name, but she spells it very strangely -- she made up the spelling because she wanted her dd to be different :rolleyes: -- and now she is highly offended any time anyone misspells the kid's name. I mean, she is actually rude to people about it.

 

I have always told my ds that if the worst thing that ever happens in his life is that someone spells his name wrong, he will be the most fortunate person on the entire planet. It's just not a big deal.

[DianeW88]

My sons are Joshua and Zachary and I knew full well that they would be shortened to Josh and Zach...which they are. No worries, they're 3 syllable names and that's what happens to those names.

 

Honestly, people just can't be bothered to say a long name. It's a pain. The tendency to shorten is a natural one and people are going to do it every. single. time.

 

And OP, while your dd's name is lovely, she may just have to get used to being called Anna. Because 90% of the people she associates with in life will call her that...even if she repeatedly tells them her name is AnnaClaire. Either they'll think she's saying both her first and middle name together (which is what I'd think), or they'll shrug and think "Whatever. I won't remember that. Anna it is." In fact, all the kids I know who have names like that have dropped the second name on their own by college age anyway. What's so funny is that one of our friends named their son JonChristopher (after both grandfathers). On his first day of school, the teacher informed the parents that she would NOT be addressing him that way in the classroom as it was much too long of a name. He was JC from that point on and his parents finally just gave in to it. :lol:

[NanceXToo]

My daughter's name is Alexa, and even people who have known her for years call her "Alexis" all the time!

[joannqn]

It seems unusual to capitalize a letter in the middle of a name.

 

My name is JoAnn. I used to tell people my name is JoAnn, capital A, no space, no E. Now I just let people spell it however they want unless it is something important.

 

No, but my kids have really common names that cannot be shortened. For some reason though my grandpa always calls DS "Josh" when his name is Logan. It happens every time we see him.

 

My grandmother called me Maggie throughout my entire childhood. I once asked her why. She said it was because I looked like a Maggie.

 

 

My daughter's name is Mikaela. I spelled it that way because I thought it was less likely to be shortened to Kayla, which I dislike. When an online friend suggested "Mika" (pronounced Mee-kah) for a nickname, we started using it. That way she would have a nickname we approved of. :D

[Catwoman]

You might not, but there are a lot of people out there who will. DD's name has a somewhat common nickname that I'm not particularly fond of. I like her full name. But there are so many people who insist on calling her by the nickname, even though we persist in only using the full name. (Including my FIL, btw... I have to bite my tongue a lot for that one.)

 

Why would you bite your tongue, rather than simply tell him that your dd doesn't like the nickname, and neither do you and your dh? Repeat as necessary every single time he used the nickname, and if it doesn't seem to be working, let your dh take him aside and tell him to knock it off.

[edelweiss]

My youngest daughter (14) is named AnnaClaire. ANNA + CLAIRE together in one name. Is it too much to ask for people to call her by the name with which I and she introduce herself?????

 

It really irritates me. Yesterday we went to get our military base access cards renewed. EVERY TIME the clerk called her he said 'Anna' I assumed he was just being familiar but when we got her card it said Anna C. Lastnamehere.

 

I wouldn't mind if she introduced herself as Anna. But she doesn't. She either uses AnnaClaire or AC. No that she's older, I let her be in charge and raise the issue if she choses. But, why do people do this? If you introduce yourself as Robert, I wouldn't call them Bob. I wouldn't call Kimberly by Kim unless she introduced herself that way.

 

Urg...just venting.....

 

Both of my girls have "double" names. My older DD has a name that sounds like two separate names although it is actually only one name. It is very similar to your DD's name. For some reason, people have no problem with her name and always get it right.

 

However, my younger DD has a double name. It is actually her first name and her middle name, but we put them together and call her "First name-Middle name". I completely understand why people call her by her first name if they are reading it off of a form. No question there. However, if I am verbally introducing her and I say her name is _____ ______, oftentimes the person will say, "Oh hi, ______ (and just leave off the second part of her name)". :glare: I've pretty much begun introducing her and just reflexively telling people that she goes by both names right off of the bat. She is 9 and she has also gotten pretty good at correcting people as well. I do wish that I had just made both names her first name though. I think that I'll probably officially change her first name to First Name-Hyphen-Middle Name within the next few years.

[Tammi K]

No, but I wanted to pop into this thread to tell you I absolutely adore your daughter's beautiful name!

 

Thank you!

[pfamilygal]

I feel your pain:

 

Susannah always gets called Savannah

 

Gabriel gets called Gabrielle (even though he is clearly a boy - with a buzz cut no less!)

[FaithManor]

All.the.time. with our oldest who hates nicknames and people keep insisting on trying to shorten his first name.

 

People are SOOOO rude. We've had people whom he has very, politely but very emphatically told, "My name is _____ and that is what I prefer to be called!" still immediately try the nickname again.

 

Sigh...it's a manners issue. This country is not teaching or observing manners in the general culture.

 

Faith

[Tammi K]

(Otoh, my younger sons are Benjamin and Zachary, and I shorten them all the time, LOL, and so do other people. I guess, to me, Andy isn't really any shorter to say than Andrew, but Ben and Zach are significantly shorter than the full names. I think it has a lot to do with personality, too; my middle son is so a "Ben," happy-go-lucky and laid-back, but my oldest son is more serious and grown-up, definitely an "Andrew" more than an "Andy.")

 

Yeah, I have a Kaitlin who is 'Kait' and a Benjamin who is 'Ben' but we always introduce them that way. So, it's not the actual short form of the name that bugs me. Heck, I even call her Anna sometimes. It's just telling people her name is AnnaClaire and then hearing them call her Anna (occasionally I even hear Annie) that drives me buggy. :tongue_smilie:

[wintermom]

Hmm. It's an unusual name. I think I'd expect people to mess it up, and get your child used to politely saying " I prefer to be referred to by my full name, AnnaClaire".

 

Maybe you can come up with a little slogan type thing to help new people remember. Like, "it sounds like Anna bear, but it's really AnnaClaire."

[pfamilygal]

My name is JoAnn. I used to tell people my name is JoAnn, capital A, no space, no E. Now I just let people spell it however they want unless it is something important.

 

 

 

My grandmother called me Maggie throughout my entire childhood. I once asked her why. She said it was because I looked like a Maggie.

 

 

My daughter's name is Mikaela. I spelled it that way because I thought it was less likely to be shortened to Kayla, which I dislike. When an online friend suggested "Mika" (pronounced Mee-kah) for a nickname, we started using it. That way she would have a nickname we approved of. :D

 

We put it on the baby announcements:

 

"Susannah Ruth

 

We plan to call her Anna while she is small."

 

I did not want Sue/Susie.

[LaxMom]

No, but my children have names with no diminutives. On purpose. I find it irksome when I introduce myself (and, if I'm at work, wearing a name tag) and people decide to call me Angie. :glare: (though my co-workers usually call me "Ang" and that doesn't bother me at all.)

 

So, yes, people have a very odd habit of changing other people's names. No idea why, but it's presumptuous.

[Soror]

There are a few different spellings for my ds's name, too, and we chose a less common one, so most people spell it the common way.

 

And it's not the end of the world. Ds is used to it, and politely corrects people as necessary.

 

A woman I know has a dd whose name is spelled unusually (to put it mildly :tongue_smilie:.) It sounds like a very common name, but she spells it very strangely -- she made up the spelling because she wanted her dd to be different :rolleyes: -- and now she is highly offended any time anyone misspells the kid's name. I mean, she is actually rude to people about it.

 

I have always told my ds that if the worst thing that ever happens in his life is that someone spells his name wrong, he will be the most fortunate person on the entire planet. It's just not a big deal.

:iagree:

I wouldn't assume it was malicious in intent. It is an unusual name and likely most people don't understand that you mean for the name to be together. I do think it a pretty name but I don't find it surprising that people think that it is 2 names.

 

Dh had a cousin with along name and his mom always insisted that he was called the full name, which worked fine until highschool when he decided he wanted to be called the shortened version. We can only control it for so long.

 

My dc's all have short first names as I wanted to avoid nicknames and didn't want to have to tell everyone for the first 5 yrs that we don't want the name abbreviated (and I happen to like their names of course). My ds has actually been called a longer version of his name. People frequently add a letter to dd's name as there are 2 popular ways to spell it. My bf has done that a lot because she has a niece who uses the other spelling. She doesn't mean anything by it. I don't usually correct unless it is someone we see a lot but if it is a casual stranger I just overlook it. If I refer to my child I of course use their correct name but I don't make a big deal about it. I know I don't remember names very well myself so mistakes like that don't bother me too much.

 

(Now someone changing a child's name purposely because they've decided they don't like it would set me off. I would correct them repeatedly and I wouldn't be nice at all about that.)

[MAIMOM]

I have taught my daughter to let people know that her name is ( Full name) and only her family calls her by a nick name. Most people respect that. I have found as she has gotten involved in sports and high school they shorten her name.....she said "mom, now I tell them only family and close friends call me (nickname). Please call me (full name) "