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Am I being overprotective, or am I right?


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My husband wants to share some of the movies he loves with our daughter. She is only 2. I have put my foot down a few times. Plus I had to break it to him when the Muppet movie came out that yes it is a kids movie, but she is too young to sit still that long in the theater. I hate having to do that, as he really wants to share these things with her. But she is only 2. To clarify, she was terrified of the Heffelump in a Winnie the Pooh movie.

 

So....today he bought a Blu Ray player, which he has wanted for years. Then, he picked out a movie to watch on it. He came home and said he put back all the movies he first looked at because he found one he could watch with DD. It is The Lion King. I started to tell him that I think it is a bit too dark and scary for her at parts. He got upset, and said I was raining on his parade. He was so happy to finally have his blue ray player, and to watch this movie with her. But I think 2 years old is too young to see the father lion die, plus other issues with it. I think she will love it in a few years, but she is too young now.

 

So...what do I do? Insist that she is too young? Or let him have his way?

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I agree with you that a 2 y/o should not watch the Lion King. But not for reasons of content. I do not think that 2 y/o should watch any movies or TV.

I do not think they are even capable of following the storyline and getting it all - not for a full length film, and I do not think they should be made to sit still for such a long time. And I would not want to start a TV watching habit in such a young child.

Edited by regentrude
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I have an almost 2 year old and he may sit for 5-10 minutes to watch a video. That said, I would let them watch a movie together and let your dh see how long her attention span really is.

 

Well, she definitely wouldn't sit still for all of it. But I think he wants to put it on and she will play, watch, play, watch, etc.

 

Maybe I can compromise and let him show her parts of it?

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Or......let her watch the "edited" version where you hit the forward button and skip the chapter with the elephant graveyard, the chapter with the stampede and Simaba's fleeing the Prideland, and the chapter with the battle at the end. IIRC, everything else is bright colored and fun.

 

We did this method of movie viewing for a lot of movies when Punk was young.

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I have an almost 2 year old and he may sit for 5-10 minutes to watch a video. That said, I would let them watch a movie together and let your dh see how long her attention span really is.

 

Yeah. If he thinks she'll sit through The Lion King with him, let him give it a whirl! :lol:

 

I had to put the parental locks on our TV- not for the kids, but for my husband who let the kids watch inappropriate things with him. I had to actually tell him that if he had to enter the code to watch the show, the kids couldn't watch it with him. :banghead:

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My son has always been sensitive with movies... the bad scenes really stay with him. So for him, no, I would not have shown him the Lion King at 2 years old. There are some kids' movies he'd still have a rough time with at 9 years old. But it depends a lot on the child, I think. You know your daughter best.

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DS2 could probably watch The Lion King without getting scared, but I doubt he'd sit still for more than ten minutes or so to watch it. DS4, however, ran from the room screaming while we were watching Veggie Tales. Very different kids. Neither of them has seen a full-length Disney movie yet, just the longer Thomas and Bob the Builder shows.

 

Ironically, the first "family movie night" we tried was The Muppets when it came out on Blu-ray. The kids didn't watch much, but there weren't any scary parts. They'll sing Mahna Mahna with me now, and that's all I wanted. :D

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I am of the opinion that you are raining on his parade. If it were me, I would apologize, explain the parts you think are scary, tell him you think it would be a good idea to skip through those parts and that he will be dealing with the consequences (her screaming, not you disciplining him :tongue_smilie:) if he chooses to ignore that warning. Then offer to make them a bag of popcorn or something.

 

ETA: I'd also like to say that I'm of the opinion that dads need to figure some things out on there own without Mommy coming in to say, "This is right. That is wrong" all the time. So yeah, if my husband were that excited over something, I'd let him at least try it. He can figure it out then that she won't sit for long and a warning about the scary parts should suffice, I would think

Edited by meggie
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My husband wants to share some of the movies he loves with our daughter. She is only 2. I have put my foot down a few times. Plus I had to break it to him when the Muppet movie came out that yes it is a kids movie, but she is too young to sit still that long in the theater. I hate having to do that, as he really wants to share these things with her. But she is only 2. To clarify, she was terrified of the Heffelump in a Winnie the Pooh movie.

 

So....today he bought a Blu Ray player, which he has wanted for years. Then, he picked out a movie to watch on it. He came home and said he put back all the movies he first looked at because he found one he could watch with DD. It is The Lion King. I started to tell him that I think it is a bit too dark and scary for her at parts. He got upset, and said I was raining on his parade. He was so happy to finally have his blue ray player, and to watch this movie with her. But I think 2 years old is too young to see the father lion die, plus other issues with it. I think she will love it in a few years, but she is too young now.

 

So...what do I do? Insist that she is too young? Or let him have his way?

 

Hmmm... is there middle ground anywhere on this?

FTR, all my kids went to their first movie in the theater at age 2-2.5. They varied in how they did sitting there - but all were good for the most part, not running around or anything like that, or getting particularly bored.

On one hand, I totally see where your husband is coming from. I think he may be jumping the gun and that it'll be more fun for them both if he waits - but it just sounds like he is just excited about it. :)

As far as the Lion King - yeah... I'm not sure. I can't remember if Pink has seen that or not. Well, probably, because we do have it on Blu-ray.

Maybe see if he'll be willing to, say, rent the muppet movie and make a night of it with her at home? Then it won't be as much of a thing... (or any other movie that you feel would be more appropriate for her age. Has she seen The Lorax? Pink was fascinated.)

 

I have to say, at least it's a good thing that you two aren't seeing eye to eye on... :tongue_smilie: It actually sounds very good dad of him, even if he is a little off on timing. :D

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I am of the opinion that you are raining on his parade. If it were me, I would apologize, explain the parts you think are scary, tell him you think it would be a good idea to skip through those parts and that he will be dealing with the consequences (her screaming, not you disciplining him :tongue_smilie:) if he chooses to ignore that warning. Then offer to make them a bag of popcorn or something.

:iagree:

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I am of the opinion that you are raining on his parade. If it were me, I would apologize, explain the parts you think are scary, tell him you think it would be a good idea to skip through those parts and that he will be dealing with the consequences (her screaming, not you disciplining him :tongue_smilie:) if he chooses to ignore that warning. Then offer to make them a bag of popcorn or something.

 

ETA: I'd also like to say that I'm of the opinion that dads need to figure some things out on there own without Mommy coming in to say, "This is right. That is wrong" all the time. So yeah, if my husband were that excited over something, I'd let him at least try it. He can figure it out then that she won't sit for long and a warning about the scary parts should suffice, I would think

 

:iagree: Though I might suggest less scary choices because yes Lion King can be a bit scary depending on the kids. Maybe Ponyo or Kiki's Delivery Service or Cars or Wall-E.

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Well here, I know best :D

 

Mine did not go to a theater until they were4 and 6. They are VERY sensitive viewers. Like as in Bob the builder was about IT as tots.

 

I probably let my kids watch more crass humor than most, but I'm telling you DS probably STILL wouldn't watch the Lion King.

 

ETA: about the theater. DS is sensitive to intensity. The noise and huge screen alone would have been too much. The first movie we ever saw in a theater was Toy Story 3 LOL

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I am of the opinion that you are raining on his parade. If it were me, I would apologize, explain the parts you think are scary, tell him you think it would be a good idea to skip through those parts and that he will be dealing with the consequences (her screaming, not you disciplining him :tongue_smilie:) if he chooses to ignore that warning. Then offer to make them a bag of popcorn or something.

 

ETA: I'd also like to say that I'm of the opinion that dads need to figure some things out on there own without Mommy coming in to say, "This is right. That is wrong" all the time. So yeah, if my husband were that excited over something, I'd let him at least try it. He can figure it out then that she won't sit for long and a warning about the scary parts should suffice, I would think

 

I generally try really hard not to interfere with what he does with her. But if she ends up with nightmares (which she does have) from it, I am the one that will be getting up with her, not him.

 

However, he just admitted, he had forgotten the scarier parts, and has agreed to just show her the happy parts. And I reminded him that he has years and years to show her movies. That if he shows her all the cartoons at 2 what will he show her at 5, porn? That got a laugh, and it is all ok.

 

As much as it made him sad for a moment, he does rely on my judgement on these things, as his mother had NO clue what was age appropriate, and he really doesn't either. In his head, if it is a cartoon it is ok.

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I think that if a Daddy is honestly wanting to do something with his little girl, the Mommy needs to bend a little. More than likely she won't remember most of what she sees and will lose interest before anything scary comes. I would be absolutely giddy if my dh volunteered to do anything with my dd. Besides, all my kids saw the lion king when they were pretty little, or rather, they saw parts of it because they lost interest. And my kids don't handle scary movies at all. Even now I don't let them watch movies that most kids their age would watch simply because I know they can't handle it. The lion king wasn't one of them though. 101 dalmatians was.

 

I forgot, I did fast forward through the singing hyenas. That was scary to the kids.

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:iagree: Though I might suggest less scary choices because yes Lion King can be a bit scary depending on the kids. Maybe Ponyo or Kiki's Delivery Service or Cars or Wall-E.

 

He did watch Ponyo with her. I'm not saying no to any movie, just to anything that might give her nightmares or scare her. She has a VERY active imagination, and sometimes scares herself with her pretending. She doesn't need help in that area, lol. (she gets it from me I'm afraid).

 

They have watched Winnie the Pooh movies together, which she loves. (we just don't do the Heffelump one anymore...she was afraid of her stuffed elephant for days afterwards).

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I generally try really hard not to interfere with what he does with her. But if she ends up with nightmares (which she does have) from it, I am the one that will be getting up with her, not him.

 

However, he just admitted, he had forgotten the scarier parts, and has agreed to just show her the happy parts. And I reminded him that he has years and years to show her movies. That if he shows her all the cartoons at 2 what will he show her at 5, porn? That got a laugh, and it is all ok.

 

As much as it made him sad for a moment, he does rely on my judgement on these things, as his mother had NO clue what was age appropriate, and he really doesn't either. In his head, if it is a cartoon it is ok.

 

Yeah, I caught DH watching Family Guy with ODS at two. Sometimes husbands need reminding.

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I didn't have ds watch a movie in a theater until he was four, but more because he likes to run around and talk loudly than any scariness.

 

IMO we protect children too much from things that are "scary." What may be scary to one child might not even be on the radar of another. We watched all sorts of macabre/scary movies when I was little (whenever it snowed my mom put on The Thing) I was always a bit more concerned about the doll sitting in my room (It looked at me!!) than I was aliens possessing people.

 

My dd loved Nightmare Before Christmas when she was three it was her favorite movie.

 

I don't think excess television is great for two year olds but I wouldn't stand in the way of dh getting some bonding time. She might like some of the songs.

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Yeah, I caught DH watching Family Guy with ODS at two. Sometimes husbands need reminding.

 

LOL! Yes! He tried to watch Futurama with her! (which I'd prefer over Lion King, just because at least it isn't scary!)

 

I do want to say, i do hear what people are saying about letting him do stuff with his daughter without interfering. At the same time, I think he relies on me to reign him in sometimes. He respects my opinion and insight on this as a mother, and he admitted as we watched it that it was pretty scary. He sees my point, and it is all good.

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:iagree: Though I might suggest less scary choices because yes Lion King can be a bit scary depending on the kids. Maybe Ponyo or Kiki's Delivery Service or Cars or Wall-E.

 

 

Put Wall-E in. Your DH will get bored and wander off LOL

 

Maybe suggest something like Barney? What about asking him to get a Lion King *sing along* DVD? It seriously should be short and VERY attention getting. If she were older, I'd say let her watch it. I don't think she'd really grasp the whole father dying thing, but, honestly, I can't see any 2 year old being enraptured by that (or any other long) movie.

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Put Wall-E in. Your DH will get bored and wander off LOL

 

Maybe suggest something like Barney? What about asking him to get a Lion King *sing along* DVD? It seriously should be short and VERY attention getting. If she were older, I'd say let her watch it. I don't think she'd really grasp the whole father dying thing, but, honestly, I can't see any 2 year old being enraptured by that (or any other long) movie.

 

LOL, he'd divorce me over Barney. Just kidding! They watch Kipper together, and some Bob the Builder, and he has tried Wallace and Grommet a few times, but she isn't interested. He's desperately waiting for her to like the Fraggles, lol.

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Put Wall-E in. Your DH will get bored and wander off LOL

 

Maybe suggest something like Barney? What about asking him to get a Lion King *sing along* DVD? It seriously should be short and VERY attention getting. If she were older, I'd say let her watch it. I don't think she'd really grasp the whole father dying thing, but, honestly, I can't see any 2 year old being enraptured by that (or any other long) movie.

 

ugh! This was ODS's favorite movie for over a year! I thought it was boring the first time, not to mention the 5,932,571st time.

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I came home when dd was 2 1/2 and she was watching The Wizard of Oz. I had my mini fit but to no avail, she loved it. She was Dorothy for the next 5 years. lol I was careful about what they watched at the movie theater but did make a couple of mistakes.

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Ok, the more we watch the more I'm sure I'm right. I'd forgotten that Simba watches his father be murdered! My sensitive girl might not totally understand, but would see the screaming, hear the scary music, etc and be traumatized for life. Remember, she was terrified of her own stuffed animal elephants for days after watching Pooh's Heffelump Movie, and cried during the movie.

 

Oh, and DH is clueless...he still insists that The Titanic has a happy ending.

Edited by ktgrok
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What's more important here is not today's movie. It's the TWO of you working together to make a decision on what both of you think is important in tv viewing. You are both her parents, and both of you should have equal input in making the decision.

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I wouldn't think twice about a 2 yr old seeing the Lion King. If she got scared on a part and was actually paying attention, then I would turn it off or forward through it.

 

:iagree: Sometimes what we *think* they will be afraid of and what they actually *are* afraid of are very different.

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Every kid is different. My kids would all be more than fine watching the Lion King at 2. I think you should let him be the dad and watch the movie. If she gets scared, he will learn a lesson that no amount of nagging will teach him. If she doesn't get scared, you will be able to loosen up a bit.

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Ok, the more we watch the more I'm sure I'm right. I'd forgotten that Simba watches his father be murdered! My sensitive girl might not totally understand, but would see the screaming, hear the scary music, etc and be traumatized for life. Remember, she was terrified of her own stuffed animal elephants for days after watching Pooh's Heffelump Movie, and cried during the movie.

 

Oh, and DH is clueless...he still insists that The Titanic has a happy ending.

 

:lol:

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My son loved The Lion King at age 2. He was recovering from major surgery and it had just come out on dvd and we popped it in the day we came home from the hospital.

 

We also took him to see Finding Nemo in the theater when he was 27 mos old. We had been seeing previews for it on the dvds he watched in the hospital and I told him "We're going to go see that!" I don't know if I would have taken him to the cinema at that age otherwise, but it turned out he loved going to the movies and has been a movie-goer ever since.

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Well, she definitely wouldn't sit still for all of it. But I think he wants to put it on and she will play, watch, play, watch, etc.

 

Maybe I can compromise and let him show her parts of it?

 

If she's going to play, watch, play, watch, it's likely that she'll voluntarily remove herself from the parts that are disturbing to her, isn't it?

 

If I was sure she would wander away and/or be frightened, instead of trying to convince my husband of that, I'd just let him experience it. I would also try hard to avoid saying "I told you so." ;)

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Kids are just different about what works for them.

 

My daughter loved movies from an early age. She had a lengthy attention span and would watch and memorize her favorite films. We took her to see her first movie in a theatre (the Star Wars re-release) when she was two and a half, and she loved it.

 

On the other hand, we had to fast forward past the Cave of Wonders sequence every time she watched Aladdin, because that terrified her.

 

So, you just never know what a particular kid's limits will be.

 

My son, though, didn't really watch TV or movies when he was little. I was content to let that be the case. He never even liked Sesame Street. Only when he was almost four did he start paying attention to or expressing interest in screen-based stuff. He rarely got scared of anything, but we did notice an increase in behavior issues when he watched too much.

 

The point is that there are lots of films I wouldn't hesitate to let a two-year-old watch as a treat or as a special bonding time with Dad. I don't think The Lion King would be at the top of my wish list for that purpose. Honestly, I still get teary at Mufasa's death. But it does seem like there might be some room for compromise here, if it's important to her father.

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I agree with you that a 2 y/o should not watch the Lion King. But not for reasons of content. I do not think that 2 y/o should watch any movies or TV.

I do not think they are even capable of following the storyline and getting it all - not for a full length film, and I do not think they should be made to sit still for such a long time. And I would not want to start a TV watching habit in such a young child.

 

I'm mostly in this camp, but I see we are in the minority. My kids were 12 and 9 (or 13 & 10?) when they saw their first movie at a theater. It was Ramona & Beezus. Dd just went to see Puss n Boots as part of a birthday party. Afterward she told me how glad she is that she didn't grow up watching every cartoon that came out. She thought it was mind numbingly boring.

 

I think she did like The Lion King---which she saw at our local consignment shop while I was buying school clothes one fall.

 

We are not fans of the TV habit here, though we've loosened up some in recent years.

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Well...she is his kid, too. He should probably have some say in what she gets to do :tongue_smilie:.

 

:iagree: Mine watched "Lion King" at two. They have no emotional scars from the experience. Let her watch and have fun with her dad. What you think is scary might not bother her at all.

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My husband wants to share some of the movies he loves with our daughter. She is only 2. I have put my foot down a few times. Plus I had to break it to him when the Muppet movie came out that yes it is a kids movie, but she is too young to sit still that long in the theater. I hate having to do that, as he really wants to share these things with her. But she is only 2. To clarify, she was terrified of the Heffelump in a Winnie the Pooh movie.

 

So....today he bought a Blu Ray player, which he has wanted for years. Then, he picked out a movie to watch on it. He came home and said he put back all the movies he first looked at because he found one he could watch with DD. It is The Lion King. I started to tell him that I think it is a bit too dark and scary for her at parts. He got upset, and said I was raining on his parade. He was so happy to finally have his blue ray player, and to watch this movie with her. But I think 2 years old is too young to see the father lion die, plus other issues with it. I think she will love it in a few years, but she is too young now.

 

So...what do I do? Insist that she is too young? Or let him have his way?

She is too young, in my opinion. My kid didn't want to watch that until like 8!

 

The longer you delay TV and movies, the better. They shouldn't sit in front of movies that young. Just my two cents.

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LOL, he'd divorce me over Barney. Just kidding! They watch Kipper together, and some Bob the Builder, and he has tried Wallace and Grommet a few times, but she isn't interested. He's desperately waiting for her to like the Fraggles, lol.

 

 

I love the Fraggles. I watched them before school every morning in 2nd grade :) I'm trying to convince my own kids to love them, but one tolerates them and the other two outright refuse to watch them with me. Oh well.

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Ok, the more we watch the more I'm sure I'm right. I'd forgotten that Simba watches his father be murdered! My sensitive girl might not totally understand, but would see the screaming, hear the scary music, etc and be traumatized for life. Remember, she was terrified of her own stuffed animal elephants for days after watching Pooh's Heffelump Movie, and cried during the movie.

 

Oh, and DH is clueless...he still insists that The Titanic has a happy ending.

 

Well, I do thinik you are being a bit too..........much.

 

OTOH, you are also responding to the personality of your particular 2 year old.

 

And I think your DH is expecting some "share movie time" at a much younger age than will really happen. Sharing favorites won't happen until school age (at least).

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Well...she is his kid, too. He should probably have some say in what she gets to do :tongue_smilie:.

 

:iagree: I find it a bit disturbing to hear mom say she 'won't let' her husband make his own choices regarding the kids. They're his kids, too.

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So...what do I do? Insist that she is too young? Or let him have his way?

 

I agree about the movie theater being too long for a 2 year old, but I think the blue ray thing was a bit much. She probably won't last through the movie on blue ray either. As far as the father lion dying and such and the issues in the movie, a 2 year old is not going to grasp it all.

Honestly she is 2 and it is his child he wants to share a movie with and enjoy spending time with...your wording in all of this is odd to me...umm there should be some co-parenting going on here and you should think about his needs and wishes in respect to your child. If you shoot down all his ideas and burst his bubble while she is 2, don't complain when she is 12 and he says they don't have anything in common and leaves all the parenting to you.

This is my honest opinion. Let Dad snuggle up with dd on the couch with the blue ray and have a good time. They will create great bonding memories that will last a lifetime. Don't deprive your child and husband from those moments. Trust me, you will blink and she will be 12 and you will wonder where the time went. There will be plenty of time to disagree about things more important than a cartoon in respect to parenting.

I have a 12 year old and I can't believe the stuff I fretted over and read books about when she was my firstborn and hitting each different stage in life. There are plenty of little things that I obsessed over and latched onto certain ideas like they were indisputable child rearing staples. Just let them be kids is what my mantra is now. Just let them be kids because you will blink and they will be grown.

My husband and my children have loved discovering and rediscovering the Muppets, Looney Tunes, Star Wars, and many more movies and characters through the years...It really is a beautiful thing to watch the man you love cuddle your toddler and introduce them to the joy of laughter and fun that the movies can bring. The wishing well in the Looney Tunes movie brought about weeks of "the nose in the book penalty" jokes and laughter and smiles throughout the house.

While your 2 your old may not get much out of it right now, your husband will gain more than you may ever realize.

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I find it a bit disturbing to hear mom say she 'won't let' her husband make his own choices regarding the kids. They're his kids, too.
And yet for me I will not let the fact that my dc are my dh's dc as well when it comes to protecting my dc. In other words, if my dh is going to do something that I believe may harm my dc I will step in and prevent it. That was one of the serious talks my dh and I had before our first was born. His reaction I can deal with yet I couldn't deal well with seeing my dc frightened by something they did not need to see at the tender age of 2yo (or any age, for that matter).

 

It seems to me that the dh in this situation is being very self-centered and thinking more about his own needs than his dd's. Why not err on the side of caution and find something else that will be bonding time with the dd?

 

FWIW, The Lion King won't be shown in my house for any age. ;)

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