blondeviolin Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Here's mine: Ellie turns three tomorrow. I asked her while she was in the bath this evening who said she could grow up. She looked at me and said, "You did, Mom. When you told me to be a big kid and stop whining." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBasil Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 My son wanted me to do..something...but I was in the middle of changing my daughter's diaper. I told him he'd have to wait, because I could only do one thing at a time. "Oh. You should learn to do two things at once. That would be better." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelli Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 We were waiting in line at Wal-Mart and my dd says, "Look, Mom, he's buying a surfboard!" I explain to her it's an ironing board, not a surfboard. Guess who NEVER irons......:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Here's mine: Ellie turns three tomorrow. I asked her while she was in the bath this evening who said she could grow up. She looked at me and said, "You did, Mom. When you told me to be a big kid and stop whining." :lol: At least she was listening... Let's see. Yesterday, DS2 was singing in the bathroom, "Goodness gracious, great balls of poop!" My mom's company is liquidating, and they told her to take whatever office supplies she wanted as it was all going in the trash. She brought me a carload of stuff a couple days ago (looked like a Staples-on-wheels, *squee*), including one of those sliding paper cutters. As I was carrying it down to the school room, DS4 asks, "Wow, is that a metal detector? Did we get a new metal detector?" :001_huh: I'm pretty sure he meant the kind that checks for weapons, and now I'm concerned why he thinks we need one for homeschooling... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 When we were at Home Depot trying to find dirt and seeds to make our model of the Nile River, Pigby said, "We should buy sunflower seeds so we can plant them and defend our home against zombies." Kid really loves Plants vs Zombies :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Element Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Here's mine: Ellie turns three tomorrow. I asked her while she was in the bath this evening who said she could grow up. She looked at me and said, "You did, Mom. When you told me to be a big kid and stop whining." :lol: Awww. Cute! Today, I realized I hadn't seen dd in a while. I asked ds, "Where's your sister?" His reply? "Oh, she's still in my laundry basket." :001_huh:? "It's fine. She took the clothes out, plus she has a flashlight." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I was listening to country music in the car and dd wanted to listen to Weird Al. Again. I said no, I was done with Al for a while. She sighed heavily and said, "This is such a trial!" I told her to count it all joy, then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 We were at a park where an event coyly labeled "Family event" with a non-revealing web-address turned out to be a pro-life rally with very loud loud speakers. The shirts for the event had a big footprint on them (up close they were supposed to resemble the foot print of a baby). I was contemplating how much I was going to let kiddo hear (it was very loud and right next to the public play area, and the guy was going on and on "Abortion this, abortion that, women who have abortions... etc"). He mentioned the music would be starting soon and it was "so great it will make your face melt". Kiddo came running back to the truck cracking up: music making your face melt -- how would one be able to see or talk? Once the synthesizer music started up (spine thumpingly loud), kiddo came roaring up to the truck and demanded we leave. "This is the worst music in the world. It makes rock and roll sound classical." Then he paused and mentioned the shirts. "I didn't know Bigfoot was a Christian god." I laughed and said that I hoped he hadn't mentioned this to a gym buddy he saw there, and he scowled that "What do you think I am, stooooooopid" scowl. Just then a young smiling family pulled up a big vehicle and out piled several children. They flashed us big smiles and waved at us, assuming we were with the rally. My son, seeing the wave as an invite, rolled down the window and called out: it's the worst music in the woooooooooooorld, as I roared off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Embassy Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 4 year old looking at a can of black olives. "Black olives. I wonder what they taste like. Maybe chocolate or something." -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7 year old He had his shirt on inside out. I told him to turn it. A few minutes later I look at him sitting down looking at me with an annoyed face. He had turned his shirt around so it was now inside out and backwards. He was annoyed and told me that I told him to turn his shirt backwards. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2 year old Child: Where's Daddy? Me: I think he is at the store. Child: Can I buy him? -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3 year old "When you was a baby you wasn't riding on cars - only on horsies." - said to me! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 9 year old Son: Do you know where I can find some really old books? Me: I don't know. A used book store, I guess. What kind of books are you looking for? Son: Just some really old ones like before 2000. Me: Laughing Son: Yes, ones before 2000. No, I don't have that many kids. Just 3, and all 3 are represented here at one point in their life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misidawnrn Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 My 3yo loves to jump off the couch and see how far she can jump. I told her the other day that she is going to break her arm doing that. "No, I won't...it's glued on!" and kept on jumping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scubamama Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 7yo dd as we're watching Harry Potter...."Look! Hagrid gave him his pet owl, Earwig!" :lol: 4yo dd comes out of AWANA with a plastic bracelet on, "Look mom! I got a bracelet and it says 'Party' on it!" "No, hon. That says 'Purity'." "Oh...that different!" Looks crestfallen. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyJoy Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 DS: This my penguin. He has arms. Dad: No, he has wings. DS: My penguin fly! Dad: Penguins can't fly. DS: My penguin no has wings. He has arms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgrin Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 DH was cooking steaks on the grill and broccoli and potatoes fresh from our garden. He's a great cook, and always playing with different seasonings. Well, the boys and I came home from some errands and the whole house smelled WONDERFUL! My 6-year-old walks to the kitchen, holding his nose, and asks what 's for supper. DH says, "Something cooked with lots of love." DS, still pinching his nose, responds, "Well, it doesn't smell like love!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 DS fell off his bike again today. Giant tears were streaming down and he wanted cuddling (something that is getting rarer and rarer as he "boys" up more). Amidst the tears he wailed, "I wish the world was softer!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Awwww hehehehe These are all so precious. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenaj Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 My newly-turned 7yods lost a tooth last week. When he got up the next morning our conversation went like this: Him: The tooth fairy came last night and she left me a dollar but she forgot to take my tooth so I still have it. Me: Well, maybe she was in a hurry. Him: She probably wants me to be the next tooth fairy and she's starting my collection for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zuzu822 Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 This just happened! DH is reading to the boys, and there was some jostling for position on the couch. The 20 month old was fussing at the 6 yo for getting too close, and the 4 yo (today's his birthday!) pipes up and says, "J likes his personal space." :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 These are all great! My kids haven't said anything really funny lately, but my 18 yr. old niece was here yesterday for a party. She works for Goodwill and likes to talk about the stuff people donate. Well, she was telling us about this interesting wedding cup, and how it still had the tag on it, "from like WAY back in the 70's". The way she said it, made all of the older adults crack up. She might as well have said, "from like way back in the 1800's." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plink Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Thanks for the giggles! 3 yo to her 18 mo old cousin: "Quick! Shh. (conspiratorial whisper) Don't ask like that! 'I want' never works, but if you say 'may I please' my mom will give you ANYTHING you want." Hee hee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JR the hs dad Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 DS4 has just woken up from a nap and drowsily declares, "I'm to young to sleep." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tabrizia Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 DD 3: "When I grow up I'm going to be a doctor who helps sick kids, Desmond is going to be a pet doctor and Sully is going to be a shoe!" "These are my feet their names are Bunny Rabbit and Kangaroo." DS5: "My feet are named Batman and Robin, because they're superheroes." "When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost buster knight" (complete with looking like he has a sword in one hand and a proton gun in the other). "I don't like you, you're fired!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 My son wanted me to do..something...but I was in the middle of changing my daughter's diaper. I told him he'd have to wait, because I could only do one thing at a time. "Oh. You should learn to do two things at once. That would be better." LOVE it. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duckens Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Last night, I looked over from washing dishes and saw the 20mo climbing the entertainment center. Daddy was in close attendance. Me: "[Dd1], does Daddy let you do whatever you want to do?" Dd1: "Yeah." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unscripted Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 DS 4- let out one of the longest poots evah... Me: "good grief! Do you need to go potty!?" DS: looking all offended "what!? No! My poop is just snoring. Geez!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphabetika Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I'm not sure if this is funny, but I love it: For the past two weeks, middle dd has had beach volleyball camp, so almost 3yo dd and I have spent a lot of time playing on the beach, something she has never done. She seems to have developed a little love affair with the ocean. On Thursday, as she ran back and forth gleefully in the waves, she yelled to me, "Mommy, the ocean is saying, 'I love you! I love you!' And I love the ocean, too!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 We were hiking last week with our girls when one noticed some bright orange lichen growing on a rotting log. Ha (5.5): "Hurry, come quick! Hurry!" Sa (7.5): "As if the lichen is going anywhere?" --------------------------------------------------------------------------- We were picking up the girls from VBS when one of our girls told us about a game they played (by putting Vaseline on their faces and picking up cotton balls with the Vaseline). Ma (5.5): Oh, Mommy, we played a game and it was GREAT! Mr. Harry put GASOLINE on my face... Pastor: No, no, not GAS-o-line! VAS-o-line! Whew! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ My husband was enjoying his new-found favorite hot sauce while my daughter was talking to Grammy on the phone. Ma (5.5): Yup, Daddy's eating. He's got that tobacco sauce out again... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ We were watching The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and we told the girls a bit about Aslan before the movie. Ma (5.5): Now, let's go over this again. Who is Asthma? ----------------------------------------------------------------------- My children were excited about something I'd done last week (can't remember, blur) and they were hugging me. Sa (7.5): Oh, Mommy, you're the best mommy in the woooooorld! Me: Well, I'm what you've got in any case. Sa (7.5): Yes, we're stuck with you, but fortunately for us that's a good thing. :Angel_anim::001_wub: And that's just in the past week or so. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 DS 4- let out one of the longest poots evah... Me: "good grief! Do you need to go potty!?" DS: looking all offended "what!? No! My poop is just snoring. Geez!" :lol::lol::lol: rofl When Sa was about 2 years old she said, "Whoa. I burped. Out my butt." We still say, "Who burped?" ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 dd11 was unloading the dishwasher and was holding a large knife. DD8 calls to me 'Mom, can you tell her to put the knife down?! I have a Phobia of knives!' In my mind, I'm thinking, yeah, I would too if my big sister was brandishing one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom23Boys Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 My five year old told me, "Mama, it is almost like you are smarter than me, even though my brain is bigger than yours." I love the use of the word almost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluemongoose Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 From this week: We spent this week waiting around a music building as DD7yo attended music camp at a nearby university all week. It was time to leave and I had all my kids rounded up ready to go when the director came to talk to me. I tried to make good eye contact, but also maintain my tired, hungry bunch at the same time. My DS 3yo (while wearing a bright blue bicycle helmet with a bright orange rubber mohawk on top that he decided to wear in because we had purchased it while DD was at camp that morning and he wanted to show her) decided to pull the fire alarm. My two older kids burst into tears, the baby laughed, and the 3yo looked at me with eyes the size of saucers. The director laughed and called the campus security and explained what happened. While outside I explained to him that we were not mad since he didnt know it would was not ok, but if he ever did that again he would be in big trouble and the Police man would probably want to talk to him. He promised never to do it again. Later that night my DH came home from work and asked DS3 about his day. He said, "I heard you got into a bit of trouble at music school." DS3yo replies, "Ya, but I didnt go to jail!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Here's mine: Ellie turns three tomorrow. I asked her while she was in the bath this evening who said she could grow up. She looked at me and said, "You did, Mom. When you told me to be a big kid and stop whining." :lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tabrizia Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 :lol::lol::lol: rofl When Sa was about 2 years old she said, "Whoa. I burped. Out my butt." We still say, "Who burped?" ;) My 3 year old and 5 year old both say "My butt burped." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoot Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Friday when DS13 was working on his Olympics project he mentioned something to me about the flag of "Trinidad and Tobacco." :glare: It was a mispronunciation because he was talking too fast but it was funny just the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghee Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 My two oldest have gotten into sewing (really useful items like nightcaps and doll scarves LOL) and the youngest (8) wanted in on the action. I asked what he wanted to sew, and, after deliberating, he said "One of those sacks you put your nuts in!" We don't term body parts that way in our house, but I was confounded to come up with anything else. I said "What???" And DS elaborates "Like what you put your nuts in when you throw!" :001_huh: ODS and I look at each other a moment and finally I ask "Umm, a jock strap?" YDS says "I don't know what they call it. I just want to put acorns in it when I throw them at the squirrells." Whew! Turns out a squirrel had been shelling an acorn and dropped it from the tree, where it then then hit YDS on the head. He was looking for revenge. I helped him cut out a small MESSENGER BAG and got him started on stitching. Then I had to text DH and say "Remind me to tell you about DS's nut sack!" DH, of course, texts back "What happened? Is he hurt bad!" Men!!! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Sylvia and I were playing the game where you hide something in one hand and you have to guess which hand it's in. I guessed correctly and Sylvia said, "You're smarter than you look!" :001_huh: Then she kept pointing out "pina coladas" on a shirt and some PJs at Gymboree. They know me in there and now they must think I drink all the time! We went into Godiva and they had a pina colada filled chocolate and she asked if that had the alcohol in it. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Yesterday DS5 was cross at not getting his own way and, encouraged by DS11, declared that he was going to leave home. "Yeah", said DS11, "and then you could do whatever you want". "Yeah", repeated DS5 "I'm going to leave home and do whatever I want". "Wow!" I replied "That sounds really exciting. And what will you do when you leave home and can do whatever you want?" I was expecting something fabulous and fantastic. He thought for a moment or two, grinned, and said "I'll come and visit you". Ah, that boy loves his mum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acurtis75 Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Dd7 upon seeing Paul McCartney appear on the TV screen during the opening ceremonies, "oh my gosh...what happened to him? When did he get so old?" I guess she expected him to look like the Beatles album covers on iTunes.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitestavern Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 My 9 yo ds sits across from me at the dinner table. One night last week after we had finished eating and were just sitting around the table he looked at me in all seriousness (totally channeling Cary Grant) and said, "Hello, Dreamy Eyes". It was so funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 My 9 yo ds sits across from me at the dinner table. One night last week after we had finished eating and were just sitting around the table he looked at me in all seriousness (totally channeling Cary Grant) and said, "Hello, Dreamy Eyes". It was so funny! He's going to be one fine husband someday! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 My 9 yo ds sits across from me at the dinner table. One night last week after we had finished eating and were just sitting around the table he looked at me in all seriousness (totally channeling Cary Grant) and said, "Hello, Dreamy Eyes". It was so funny! That's presh!! DS often tells me I'm so cute/pretty/whatever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 A while back DD was walking with the exaggerated hip swing. She said "mom is this what ladies do when they want a man to marry them?" :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TracyP Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 6 yo ds was talking about a recent dr. visit and wishing we had equipment to listen to our heartbeats at home... ds: how do they listen to girls' hearts? me: just the same as boys:confused: ds: but how do they hear through those big milk holders? me: :lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Nyssa Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 OK, here's mine... DD6: Mommy, when you are 100 years old, will your bosom be down to here? (points to her waist) :001_huh::confused::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmeraldGirl Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 DS11 (foreign adoption and very literal): Mom, did those earrings that Mercy made you, fit? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirch Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 DS 4- let out one of the longest poots evah... Me: "good grief! Do you need to go potty!?" DS: looking all offended "what!? No! My poop is just snoring. Geez!" :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 DS11 (foreign adoption and very literal): Mom, did those earrings that Mercy made you, fit? :D That's funny! A friend showed me this on her FB page the other day: "I don't want to brag or make anybody jealous or anything, but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school." :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphabetika Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 6 yo ds was talking about a recent dr. visit and wishing we had equipment to listen to our heartbeats at home... ds: how do they listen to girls' hearts? me: just the same as boys:confused: ds: but how do they hear through those big milk holders? me: :lol::lol: :lol::lol: My littlest dd calls them "nursing parts." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammi K Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Just tonight my dear boy said, "I am not your servant." Oh dear boy, I beg to differ........ (It's all good. He was joking around when I asked him to carry something for me. He knows he's not really my servant. :001_unsure:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southcarolinamom Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Working with 2 and 3 year olds yesterday at church was hilarious! One very serious-minded little girl said "My favorite movie is Sleeping Booty, but I also like Booty and the Beast. We watch them on the pooter at home." :lol: My 16 yo dd and I couldn't keep a straight face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Just tonight my dear boy said, "I am not your servant." Oh dear boy, I beg to differ........ (It's all good. He was joking around when I asked him to carry something for me. He knows he's not really my servant. :001_unsure:) That's a cute one! When ds10 was little, we were at a restaurant and someone said something about our "server." Later, ds asked when our "servant" was coming back to the table! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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