How often are you entertaining your children?

[momee]

I thought summer was the time moms got to say, "Go outside and play all day. See you for lunch then dinner." :tongue_smilie:

 

Just curious how many of you stay home most days without other kids over and your children expect that.

 

Really I'd like to get there myself but there's this little voice that says they need playdates and beach times and ?ballet, tennis, swimming - lessons? or whatever.

 

Love to hear from anyone who's gone from being gone and eating out and generally staying fairly busy every day to mostly homebodies who entertain ourselves. We'll go out but I'm looking to cut the expectation for them to go out, kwim?

 

I should say we used to be this way with one vehicle and life was much more structured for us.

[Ellie]

I don't entertain children. They have books and toys and and artsy-craftsy stuff and each other and outside.

 

We left the house one day a week for a field trip, year-round, always and only on Thursday. We left the house on Wednesdays for the library, and came home when we finished.

 

That is all. :)

[Mom-ninja.]

I don't entertain my kids.

[Parrothead]

I suppose it will depend a lot on where one lives. The last two towns we've lived in have not had that kids playing with the neighborhood kids atmosphere. (It is so weird.) So I have to make the effort to get other kids over here or send dd to her friends'. During the summer she sets up alternating days with her friends.

 

But once her friends are here I do shoo them outside to play with a "See you at lunch/dinner."

 

I've never been one to entertain my dd. She and I have our special time most every day. Then there is all the time we spend together doing school. So I don't feel badly if she has to entertain herself occasionally.

 

All this is not to say that we don't get out or travel as a family. Since our weather is so unpredictable in winter we do take spur of the moment day trips.

[Soror]

I don't. I might give suggestions but not usually. They figure it out.

[I.Dup.]

We aren't involved in any of the activities you listed. On purpose at this point in our lives. ;)

 

I struggle with a lot of guilt thinking I should be interacting with and entertaining my children every second. But I don't. I listen to them if they come and want to show me something. They figure out what to do on their own. They play with each other all day long, really. Some of the things they've been doing lately (it's too hot to be outside most of the day otherwise they'd be out there): doing school since we just started last week, make collages, drawing, playing dress-up with dh's clothes and my clothes, my oldest and my 5yo walked the dog yesterday, play video games, watch TV.

[Chris in VA]

I only have one child at home (well, ds is now home for 4 weeks, but he's working and is an adult), and we don't live in a neighborhood, so yes, I entertain her. I am not her peer, but I will play a game from time to time, and we watch some TV together. Yesterday, she went to the aquarium in Baltimore with her dad (his day off is Monday) so I guess you could say we do entertaining things. She reads, does chores, and does some other things, but it gets boring to be alone.

 

It'd be so much easier if she had sibs around, or if we lived where kids are.

[blondeviolin]

I don't. I may assign tasks or chores or answer if they can do something, but they typically play together without me.

 

My kids do have extra-curriculars, but only one per child. Emmett LOVES swimming. It is a passion for him. He's in a level 4 class. Abby enjoys gymnastics.

 

In the spring and fall, I can send the kids outside after lunch and then will be out there until dinner. Lately, it is too hot for them to do that...

[Joker]

I play a board game or do art stuff with them when they ask, which is maybe every few days. They do well together and on their own.

 

Dh is more of an entertainer with them, though. He usually plays something with them every afternoon after dinner. Sometimes the Wii, but it's usually a board game, Legos, or some crazy game outside (usually involving Nerf guns).

[Julie Smith]

I thought summer was the time moms got to say, "Go outside and play all day. See you for lunch then dinner." :tongue_smilie:

 

Just curious how many of you stay home most days without other kids over and your children expect that.

 

Really I'd like to get there myself but there's this little voice that says they need playdates and beach times and ?ballet, tennis, swimming - lessons? or whatever.

 

Love to hear from anyone who's gone from being gone and eating out and generally staying fairly busy every day to mostly homebodies who entertain ourselves. We'll go out but I'm looking to cut the expectation for them to go out, kwim?

 

I should say we used to be this way with one vehicle and life was much more structured for us.

 

No playdates right now, since friend is at camp for the month.

 

Usually it's once a week from 1pm to 7pm.

 

I will happily play board games most of the time. It's something I like to do. I also like going to town on bike or foot for the library, or the far away park (nice long bike ride to tire out boy) or somewhere else.

 

My boys usually don't enjoy going to town. But they do take me up on the offer of board gaming every few days.

[Jen in PA]

I don't entertain my kids.

 

:iagree: Although I will play chess with them or pull out craft supplies that I keep out of reach. The rest of the time I try to keep them entertaining themselves. I actually just moved some things around in the kitchen so that dishes they use regularly are within reach so that they can fix their own snacks and make their own breakfasts on days they sleep in.

[justamouse]

I don't entertain mine. Only boring people are bored. :D That's my line.

 

I have a bunch of stuff for them to do, from puzzles to music, arts, crafts, games galore, basketball hoop, a yard, free roaming privileges of about 2 blocks, a pool, a home library, a cool attic.

 

They entertain themselves. I AM the lifeguard, but that's about it.

 

If they tell me they're bored, I have chores for them to do.

 

 

Go cold turkey. Just stop the circus, pretend you're at an Adirondack cabin with no electric and see what happens. There will be boredom at first. There will be thrashing and complaining and whining. Tell them to go outside and turn over rocks. :-D Look for salamanders. Catch fireflies and read up on them. They eventually will entertain themselves.

Edited July 17, 2012 by justamouse

[Princess Peach]

We go to the beach once or twice per week, and to the playground a couple times per week. We also go once a week to the library.

 

I do like to play with my kids. We play games, cards, play basketball, catch, Wii, or sit and talk. They also play a lot with each other or on their own doing their own thing. My kids rarely say they're bored. I also have plenty of time to do the things I want or need to do.

[BarbecueMom]

I'd love to turn mine loose in the yard, but the back yard isn't safe right now due to a partially torn out deck.

 

We build them stuff. DH made a golf ball run on the wall of the playroom last year. Last weekend, DH built the "kid wash" that someone posted on the PVC pipe thread. I turned the carpet in the spare bedroom into a duct tape race track. Sometimes we'll get a crazy idea for a wooden train track to try, and we'll build it and have fun with it. They have a play kitchen made out of an old TV stand. I invented an "underwear toss" game yesterday for them to play while I was folding laundry (which ended in a possibly broken nose, oops!).

 

They play alone and with each other, too. I'm about to take them to the playground down the street, where I sit under a tree for an hour and watch them make-believe they are saving each other from across the big ditch.

 

When they are older, I'm sure my involvement will lessen (though I am always willing to kick around a soccer ball!), but at these ages they can use a little direction. DS2 would have pet wasps in his room if I left him to his own devices.

 

ETA: DS4 is playing soccer this fall (his request), and we hike/creek walk and swim frequently. We also have a membership to a museum they enjoy and go at least once a month. We enjoy getting out of the house and finding stuff we can all do together. I get cranky when I stay home, never mind the kids.

Edited July 17, 2012 by BarbecueMom

[Acorn]

How do you define entertainment?

 

I read aloud for at least an hour a day. Dh reads to them at night for about 30 minutes. We are also adding where my son reads to us. We go to weekly storytime because I need to go the library anyways. I take them to parks for nature walks and creek walks because that is my passion. Only, we do have to drive to get to one. I take them to swim lessons and open swim because we fish and will someday canoe. They will be capable swimmers, non-negotiable. I play board games and RightStart math games with them, because we are a family that loves thinking. I do art projects with them because it makes clean up easier and I want them to see me trying a new thing that doesn't come easily for me. We have friends over because we enjoy other people (and it is great incentive to having a tidy home). I take them to sport teams and dance classes because there is heart disease on both side of the family. Someday we will add music lessons because we enjoy music.

 

These years are short. We are building the foundation to launch them to where ever they want to go.

Edited July 17, 2012 by Acorn

[shellbelle]

I'm not sure how often I am "entertaining them", but we do have a lot of fun together.;)

We play the Wii together. I'm sure my Just Dance skills are quite entertaining! I also get in the pool and play/float around and talk with them. I enjoy helping them practice their soccer skills, although being goalie is not my favorite position! Ouch. My favorite activity to do with the kids is read aloud. I am not a big fan of board games or puzzles, but I do like card games. Maybe it's the fast pace, board games and puzzles can drag on forever.

It is very important for me to spend time with my children. I honestly can't remember my mother or stepmother doing anything at all with me. The kids are capable of playing alone or together, but I just like being with them too.

We will host a playdate once or twice a month...nothing too crazy. I'm not wild about having company more often than that.

My kids are involved in a lot of different activities outside the home, but we try to limit it to a few days/nights a week. All the kids play soccer, the girls take dance and my son is involved in scouts. We visit the library weekly. We are also involved with our church and may try a weekly co-op in the fall. I feel that the activities are well worth the time and energy spent. :)

Edited July 17, 2012 by shellbelle

[Samiam]

Funny you should ask, because I was just sitting alone last night thinking that I don't interact with my children much, other than the "schooling" portion of our day.

 

For the most part, DS9 and DS6 interact with each other. They play alot together and have the same friends in the neighborhood. DS14 does mostly his own thing when we are home, ie hangs out in his room.

 

Of course, I help and interact when they ask, but lately I've been feeling that I'm not needed much except for feeding time, lol!

 

We don't do alot of scheduled activities in the summer months, mid-June through mid-August is a down time in general for us, and I enjoy every moment because I know come mid-August, life gets crazy until about mid-December.

[momee]

Great thoughts. I don't necessarily mean entertaining like I'm a circus clown doing tricks for them.

 

I'm expecting that they will enjoy these lazy days of summer without asking for a friend over, going to a friends, me playing with them or our going somewhere like the beach or park or mall or...

 

I like this

"Just stop the circus, pretend you're at an Adirondack cabin with no electric and see what happens. There will be boredom at first. There will be thrashing and complaining and whining. Tell them to go outside and turn over rocks. :-D Look for salamanders. Catch fireflies and read up on them. They eventually will entertain themselves."

 

I feel like because they're constantly with me they're constantly looking to me for involvement.

[justLisa]

I take my kids out quite a bit. More in the summer. When we are home I do stuff if they ask me, but that is rare.

[Acorn]

Great thoughts. I don't necessarily mean entertaining like I'm a circus clown doing tricks for them.

 

I'm expecting that they will enjoy these lazy days of summer without asking for a friend over, going to a friends, me playing with them or our going somewhere like the beach or park or mall or...

 

I like this

"Just stop the circus, pretend you're at an Adirondack cabin with no electric and see what happens. There will be boredom at first. There will be thrashing and complaining and whining. Tell them to go outside and turn over rocks. :-D Look for salamanders. Catch fireflies and read up on them. They eventually will entertain themselves."

 

I feel like because they're constantly with me they're constantly looking to me for involvement.

 

 

As I wrote earlier, I believe in "involvement". It is the best thing I can do for my children right now. That could be different for others. I like reading about personality types. For those homebodies, I would wager you are introverts. I am one myself; I need to breathe nature. One of my children is extroverted and high energy. He needs people and activities. For us, finding peace in life is achieved with balance.

[mom4him]

I thought summer was the time moms got to say, "Go outside and play all day. See you for lunch then dinner." :tongue_smilie:

 

Just curious how many of you stay home most days without other kids over and your children expect that.

 

Really I'd like to get there myself but there's this little voice that says they need playdates and beach times and ?ballet, tennis, swimming - lessons? or whatever.

 

Love to hear from anyone who's gone from being gone and eating out and generally staying fairly busy every day to mostly homebodies who entertain ourselves. We'll go out but I'm looking to cut the expectation for them to go out, kwim?

 

I should say we used to be this way with one vehicle and life was much more structured for us.

 

We stay home most of the time but there is always other kids here. We have neighbor hood kids that spend way more time here than at their house. Personally I like it that way. I know where my kids are, who they are with and what they are doing.:D

 

We have lakes in front of the toilets and rivers running from both doors to the bathrooms as someone is always coming from the pool to us the bathroom. I bake one day and the next it is gone because someone is ALWAYS hungry and most of the time it is more like EVERYONE is hungry.:lol: I really don't mind. I know where my kids are, who they are with and what they are doing. I have an extra load of laundry many days, like today, because no one remembered their towel. Can't say I don't mind and we are working on that but I repeat, I know where my kids are, who they are with and what they are doing.;)

 

I have neighbor hood kids that run up to me out of the blue, give me a hug and tell me they love me. Makes it all worth it AND I know where my kids are, who they are with and what they are doing.

 

I know that this isn't everyones idea of a good summer but it is ours.:001_smile:

[J-rap]

I'm not exactly sure what you mean by entertaining; I don't feel like I did a lot of that, although I did some directing and organizing.

 

With five kids all within 6 years of each other, they all played together which was really great. That helped a lot! We didn't plan many activities at all in the summer, until they got older and were in summer sports, music, etc. (upper middle school/high school age).

 

So, even though I didn't necessarily play games with them every day (since they had each other), I did help organize craft projects at home, encourage mud pie building in the backyard, blew up the inflatable pool for them on really hot days, found child-friendly recipes so they could experiment a little in the kitchen, and made sure I had lots of colored paper, markers, etc. on hand. I showed my girls how to make their own paper dolls one summer, and it pretty much became an entire summer project. Things like that.

 

So in other words I would step in to introduce an idea and get them started, and then they would take off with it.

[TheApprentice]

My younger two have friends in the neighborhood and will generally be out, except to grab something to eat, from about 11am to 9pm. My oldest has no neighborhood contact and is usually here, but I don't entertain him. We've done a few things together, but he's usually online with his friends, playing minecraft, reading, doing his art, etc.

[justamouse]

Great thoughts. I don't necessarily mean entertaining like I'm a circus clown doing tricks for them.

 

I'm expecting that they will enjoy these lazy days of summer without asking for a friend over, going to a friends, me playing with them or our going somewhere like the beach or park or mall or...

 

I like this

"Just stop the circus, pretend you're at an Adirondack cabin with no electric and see what happens. There will be boredom at first. There will be thrashing and complaining and whining. Tell them to go outside and turn over rocks. :-D Look for salamanders. Catch fireflies and read up on them. They eventually will entertain themselves."

 

I feel like because they're constantly with me they're constantly looking to me for involvement.

 

Ahh, see, now we're a high interaction family, even my teen loves to be with us, but we also have time off, and they amuse themselves. We have dinner together every night, we eat all of our meals together, we do schoolwork, we do things like fishing and hiking all the time. So I have absolutely no guilt getting a few hours of alone time doing what amuses ME every day.

 

Yes, we're mostly introverts with one extrovert and I let him go play down the street with a friend. We have that kind of neighborhood.

 

But, he'll want nothing BUT to play with that friend, so sometimes I restrict him. OTher than that, we don't DO much. One has guitar lessons, but we don't do sports, (boy scouts in the fall) no outside activities.

[Tarreymere]

Our neighborhood kids have disappeared. I'm not sure where they went. Maybe the aliens got them.

 

I don't entertain my kids. They have school, they play inside and outside. Some days we do go to a playground or to the beach but not very often since I'm currently tasked with grandson age 2 (while his mom goes to nursing school) and grandson age 4 (while his mom is in jail) and I'm not motivated to go too many places with extra littles. I would LIKE to go the the dollar movie theater, but the two year old can't handle that yet. Just going to the library with the two year old is quite the expedition since he doesn't listen.

 

I'm also a little concerned since going out and running around in the heat has resulted in me flat on my back in bed with some chest pain and weird cold flashes........no, I'm not going to the doctor (they always tell me it isn't my heart and we don't have the money anyway) but I do have high bp. I'm quite the grumpy grandma these days.

[msjones]

We are signed up for nothing this summer. They attend some youth group activities, but no classes/lessons/camps.

 

We are the ONLY family around who are not scheduled. I know they think we're weird, but I want my boys to have time to do their own things.

 

We go places like the art museum, the outdoor markets, the beach. We go on bike rides or play frisbee or badminton or croquet or go hiking together. But I enjoy those things too -- I don't see it as 'entertaining' them. It's just time together.

 

I hear other moms complain about how busy their summers are. They really are stressed out by the schedules. I think they feel a lot of pressure to participate in the same things as "everyone" else. I might, too, if we attended the local school.

[happypamama]

I don't entertain them all day long. They play and amuse themselves. I facilitate schoolwork and will play with them some, but mostly, they play on their own. We don't do a billion programs or outings. We did ballet until finances prevented that, and if I can ever find a reasonable sports sort of program that works, we'll try that. We do co-op during the school year, and we generally try to keep outings to one day a week, occasionally two.

 

My children have a yard, plenty of toys (educational and otherwise), books, art supplies, a keyboard, and siblings. They're not lacking for stuff to do.

[Bluegoat]

I don't generally entertain them. They are doing swimming lessons this summer because they really need to learn to swim, and dd7 is going to visit her grandpa for a week and will go to theater camp half days while there.

 

We also don't have a nighbourhood kids thing, so I do have to meet up with friends at times. We also try to get out regularly for walks or outings - as much for me as for them. But even then they find their own fun.

 

When I start to worry that they need more social interaction, I remember whoever it was (C S Lewis maybe?) who credited lots of solitary time for developing his own thoughts and creativity.

[DianeW88]

I don't entertain my kids. My youngest has karate two days a week and Scouts on another, but he's dropped off at those. :D When we're home, he leaves in the morning around 10 AM, and we don't see him again until he gets hungry...usually after dinner, because he eats lunch with his friends.

 

If his friends are here, they hang out and goof off, and I feed them lunch, and sometimes dinner, and they go home after dark. He does phone me if he's leaving one friend's house to go to another.

[learningmama]

We are signed up for nothing this summer. They attend some youth group activities, but no classes/lessons/camps.

 

We are the ONLY family around who are not scheduled. I know they think we're weird, but I want my boys to have time to do their own things.

 

We go places like the art museum, the outdoor markets, the beach. We go on bike rides or play frisbee or badminton or croquet or go hiking together. But I enjoy those things too -- I don't see it as 'entertaining' them. It's just time together.

 

I hear other moms complain about how busy their summers are. They really are stressed out by the schedules. I think they feel a lot of pressure to participate in the same things as "everyone" else. I might, too, if we attended the local school.

 

:iagree: This is exactly how we live life too. One of the reasons we homeschool is because we do not want to be a "slave" to the schedule. We limit extra church activities because of this too. I know some people like to be busy, but I think it would be good for everyone to relax, simplify, and sit on the porch with some lemonade. :D

[justamouse]

:iagree: This is exactly how we live life too. One of the reasons we homeschool is because we do not want to be a "slave" to the schedule. We limit extra church activities because of this too. I know some people like to be busy, but I think it would be good for everyone to relax, simplify, and sit on the porch with some lemonade. :D

 

:iagree::D That's us.

[thebarefootamazon]

Mine entertain themselves quite a bit but they are still too young to go outside alone. They are still generally in the same room as an adult but they entertain themselves with toys. We do playdates and go to the beach or the zoo but those are special things. I find they behave better if they do have more of a routine at this age but I'm sure as they age, they'll have more freedom.

[amyinva]

I guess I should have read this before I started stalking you to see if you guys want to go swim with us today! :D

[KrissiK]

I don't. We did a couple of weeks of VBS and they had swimming lessons. But I don't entertain them. They're expected to entertain themselves. I have enough projects to do. Besides, that's not my job.

[higginszoo]

Nope, boredom is good. They need to learn to take initiative for their own entertainment. We only take about 6 weeks off, so that we have plenty of time to take off the rest of the year (it's too hot to send them outside all day in July, but October is a completely different story). But one of the things we value is for our children to take initiative and invent their own projects (even if I'm not super-thrilled to have my guest room turned into a tent city).

[SKL]

My kids had that pretty well figured out by age 4. They know where their toys, books, and musical instruments are, if they don't feel like going outside.

 

I do take them out so they can entertain themselves at the park or pool several times a week, and sometimes we go out to eat, but that is more because I want to. We don't live near any parks, and getting away from the toys encourages them to exercise more. Once at our destination, I go for a walk around the perimeter while they find something to do. (They are 5 so I can't just drop them off yet.)

[ShannonS]

I have always really struggled with this issue.

 

My children are still relatively young, but I do tend to organize and initiate many of the days' activities. I worry about this; am I 'entertaining' them too much, to a point at which it will be detrimental? I am horrified at the idea of a future drooling 20-something cog with no sense of self-direction...

 

However

 

It has been our experience that when kicked outside for half a day (into the jungle that is a military neighborhood with, literally, 100+ kids on our loop) the older two come home with some pretty serious attitude issues, backtalk galore and brand new vocabulary....

 

And even if kept within close proximity, if left to their own devices for too long, things can get pretty "Lord of the Flies" around here.

 

So after reflecting on what I most want for my children, the abstractions and goals percolated down into a concrete schedule. They have time built into the day in which they are free to follow their own interests, but they (the older ones) also have schoolwork, chores, a home library, art supplies and a private yard. I am all for allowing them to have time to rest, think and observe, but, for us, too much 'free time' turns into idleness. We have one outside activity. We have friends over from time to time. I do not feel over-scheduled. I do initiate and model many activities; I find that if I give a gentle, interactive and involved introduction to something, they eventually fly with it on their own.

 

But maybe I'm a control freak. Here's hoping my kids aren't on the couch in 30 years...:cheers2:

[Kelly1730]

"I am not the entertainment director." That statement has been heard in our home more than once. I will, however, give directions when needed. We have no scheduled outside activities in summer other than church, an every other week park day ( and we've only gone once this year because it's been way too hot) and occasional trips to the library. I try to take them somewhere different (nature preserve, bowling, minor league baseball game) once or twice a month.

 

We have plenty of things for them to do both inside and outside of our home. If they are "bored" I will gladly share some of my work with them. Funny, they are hardly ever bored.:tongue_smilie:

[MrsBanjoClown]

My kids are very good with coming up with things to do, but I'm not so good at helping them execute those plans. Usually I hear a couple of times a day "Mom, I need some paper/scissors/a box, etc.". Maybe it's because I am always trying to clean the house, but I probably say no to their craft/art projects a little too often. We are trying to get the house on the market soon and I feel overhelmed with things to do myself. I sometimes send them outside to the backyard, but to be honest that scares me a little at their ages (7 and 5). We live on a curve on a street where teenagers sometimes drive much too fast and if they decided to get on their scooters or bikes I'm afraid of an accident happening. In their bedroom they can play together for hours, but their room is never clean (as in you can't walk in their room without stepping all over things).

[Soror]

:iagree::D That's us.

 

Us too. Ds had a weekend campout with dh for Boy Scouts and 3 days of Day Camp this week and that is it. The kids catch frogs, play in the water, in the mud, build forts, play with cats, etc.

 

I overscheduled us last Fall (and for us that means every Friday Co-Op, every Monday Scouts, Wed PSR teaching for me). Last Spring I dropped teaching PSR and only attended co-op sporadically. It almost drove me bonkers. I was the main leader for co-op though and dh was a Den leader for scouts and I had to plan lessons every week for PSR. My introvert self couldn't take that. So, next year we have Mon Scouts/Am Heritage Girls and Fri- every other one for Co-Op. I'm feeling much better about that.

[Mimm]

I don't entertain my kids either. If they say they are bored in my presence, I give them something to clean. They are careful not to say it around me. :)

 

ETA: I did buy them season passes at the neighborhood pool (which we are not using for three weeks while my 11 year old recovers from a broken wrist) and they did attend a VBS/Day camp at my MIL's church (where my 11 year old acquired the broken wrist when they went roller skating). :)

Edited July 18, 2012 by Mimm

[suppleasthewind]

My older two play together and I entertain my four year old for a good portion of the day. His brothers often wont play with him because he takes their legos apart and makes game pieces talk when they are trying to play monopoly.

[whitestavern]

I don't entertain my kids at all. We do "school lite" in the summer and they have chores to help around the house. DD will have friends over or go see friends about once a week, all organized by herself. Ds doesn't have too many friends so he doesn't see them often. We have a pool, which keeps them entertained for hours a day and thankfully are at the age where they can swim w/o supervision (as long as they're together). DD did one week of VBS (she was a helper this year) and DS did a week of invention camp. I did facilitate that for him because it was a match made in heaven. They will do a sailing camp for a week in August, but that is really tied to them spending the week with my parents who are near the shore. Thankfully my dc are really good at entertaining themselves.