S/O: Non-income-producing SAHMS

[happyhomemaker]

I'm a SAHM and contribute no income. I haven't worked outside the home since dd was born 10 years ago.

[craftyerin]

My DH's income is more than enough for us to live comfortably on, and I haven't brought in an income since DS1 was born. We have lived in the suburbs of two large cities in that time (Houston and now New Orleans).

[mommaduck]

Actually, I would hurt us more financially if I worked than staying at home. I don't have good earning potential. We would lose most of our tax return (which makes up a good portion of our income). THEN add all the time away from home, caring for the home and kids that my husband's job counts on me to do (he got the job BECAUSE I'm a SAHM and they don't have to worry about him losing time to sick kids, etc).

[DusksAngel]

Actually, I would hurt us more financially if I worked than staying at home. I don't have good earning potential. We would lose most of our tax return (which makes up a good portion of our income). THEN add all the time away from home, caring for the home and kids that my husband's job counts on me to do .

:iagree:This is our family as well. If I went back to work I would, at best, bring home $1-1.5/hour after paying for daycare and other expenses. And that doesn't include the second vehicle we'd need as well. I'm also my grandmother's daytime caregiver, so she'd either have to go to a nursing home or she and/or my (extended) family would have to pay someone to stay with her.

[MomtoCandJ]

I'm a non income producing stay at home mom too. I tried working for 3 weeks last summer and between childcare and gas I wasn't bringing home any money and using more of dh's paycheck then I did not working. So economically it works much better for me not to work.

[Dory]

I was a SAHM with no income and I basically still am. I do have some extra come in from watching my friends kids and from pet sitting once in awhile, but it's not much and it's not consistent. My husband and I are blessed enough to own a thriving business in the oilfield and it has more than supported us and given us a comfortable life.

[Cinder]

I'm just wondering if I am as alone in the world as I feel most of the time.

 

So, non-income-producing SAHMs, where are you?

 

:seeya: Here I am! I know this feeling. I have one friend who is also a NIPSAHM :D but she recently moved an hour away. All the women at church are either older and retired or they work. Last year I met a mom at soccer who also stays at home. She was talking about how she loved being at home, being able to take care of things for her family. Her dh worked long hours partly because of a long commute. But she said she was pressured a lot by friends and family to work so she could have all those things she doesn't currently have--bigger house, fancy cellphone, blah blah blah. We don't have those things either. I haven't worked since ds1 was born. At first I was reluctant to stop working but God changed my heart and just before ds was born I couldn't wait to quit. I've not thought about working since.

[MicheleinMN]

I am a SAHM and do not bring in any income other than what I SAVE by not working and trying to be frugal. I haven't held an outside job in over 20 years and have only done child care every once in a while, and even then it was done more to help someone out than to make any money. (Surprisingly to everyone around here..that just because I like being home with MY children, does NOT mean that I enjoy being home with any one ELSE'S children.) :tongue_smilie:

[elise1mds]

I haven't had an income for a year and a half at this point and don't see that changing in the immediate future. I've done various jobs throughout my children's lives but nothing that takes me away from them.

[TheApprentice]

I am. But I'm sort of interested getting back out there. It's been 15 years.:001_huh:

[MiniBlondes]

NIPSAHM here. I haven't always been but I currently am.

[StaceyinLA]

Over the last 15 years, I've done a couple of projects that have earned income, and I did do books part-time at our country club, but for the most part, I've produced no income. In fact, when I did earn money, it was mostly for my own spending, or we used it for trips.

 

I don't think any of the women in my home school group are income producing.

 

We lived on a fairly strict budget when the kids were younger, and as teens, all of my kids have had jobs to pay for their car insurance and gas expenses (we did buy them all cars).

 

Now that they're older, married, etc., and dh has a significantly larger income, I tell him my job is to SPEND the money. :tongue_smilie: With all the grandbabies, it's not that difficult!

[VeritasMama]

:seeya:

 

I've been at home for 4 years, for the first 2 I had an at home business. I am really relishing only having to worry about the schooling and the housework, for now. I'm sure one day I will want to get back out there.

[HappyGrace]

My absolute greatest joy and true calling is to be a full-time homemaker. The Lord has always provided our financial needs, although we are very frugal. We don't have much retirement or any savings, but dh and I still feel my place is here for the whole family.

 

I pray fervently that I can always be home, but dh is 10 yrs older than I am, so I will prbly have to return to work at some point. Doing what, I have no idea, but He will provide that too. I would be so thankful if it would be in His will that I could always be home.

 

Dh is my hero-he never once, even in trying times, has suggested I go out to work.

[Mrs.Gregg]

It was a conscious choice when we married that I would stay home with our children. Homeschooling got added to the mix later on. I did go to work for a period of time after getting my nursing degree and I will be re-entering the workforce part-time to maintain my skills and liecence.

 

My sister was a SAHM for 15yrs having just recently re-entered the work place. My Mom was a SAHM for 12yrs, 2 of my aunts both stayed home with their children until their kids were freshmen in highschool. One went to work at the high school the other aunt became a pre-school teacher.

 

All of my female cousins have stayed at home with their children for a period of time. One of my brothers was a SAHD for 3 yrs.

[tristangrace]

OP, I thought you might be asking where we are, geographically. Is that right?

 

In any case, I live in the city of Chicago. I probably know more non-incoming producing SAHM moms than any other type (probably because I am one).

 

However, my husband works downtown, and works with a lot of working moms, as well as fathers whose wives work. My husband makes a great income, but our lifestyle seems "cheaper" than most of his co-workers around his income level--they tend to commute in from the wealthier suburbs, own more expensive vehicles, vacation more, etc. We tend to associate with a lot of people who live at more of a blue-collar income, if that makes sense. The crowd we run with does a lot of penny-pinching--thrift store clothes, used curriculum, etc.

 

A non-income-producing SAHM friend of mine is moving to Chicago from DC, and she is looking forward to it for the reasons you are talking about it--her experience of DC is that it is super-high-powered, and a non-income-producing mom is viewed as a slacker.

[Munchkins_mama]

I am a non-income producing SAHM. I have been since I was pg with my oldest. I went back to work for one year when she was 2y when DH's job took a hit but I haven't worked since. I plan (God willing!) to stay home forever, even after the kids move out. I will be a SAHWife and grandma. We have set ourselves up to live fairly modestly, but we could live a little fancier with my husbands income. We know that that income could go at any moment so we are smart about it.

 

I only have maybe two friends that work outside of the home. It's the norm here to be a SAHM.

 

- I do produce a little income, but it's my own business so I get to keep it all and buy coffees and pedicures with it. :tongue_smilie:

[RobynV]

I'm in a suburb of Chicago and most of my friends don't work. I'd say of my larger circle of acquaintances through school/neighborhood, it's probably 70% don't. Most of the men are white collar middle or upper management, so we're able to stay home. I've always felt blessed that I have the option. I gave up my career to do it and I don't regret it.

[jelbe5]

I am a sahm who produces no income. We also have a son with special needs, which complicates things as far as me working in the future is concerned.

 

We live about 1 hour north of Chicago.

 

I keep my social work license current just in case, but I have not had a strong desire to work outside of the home since we began our family. I did work 8 hours a week for a while, but around the time our 3rd was born our son was diagnosed with autism so I left my job at that time.

 

I recently took on a new volunteer position. I am learning to be a webmaster. My mentor who is training works from home. I find I am really enjoying the work and I hope that perhaps it could lead to a little "work at home" job at some point. Plus it is "my little thing" right now.

 

What we are doing is so important. It is hard, too. But I am so glad I have been able to be a sahm! Eta most of my friends don't bring in $ either.

Edited July 13, 2012 by jelbe5

[KrissiK]

I am one, too. We are fortunate that DH makes a decent living. We do live quite frugally, but we are comfortable. I used to feel bad that I was not contributing monetarily to the household, but I got over that. I know that my contribution to our family's welfare is just as important as DH's. It takes both of our contributions put together to make our family healthy and run well. It took me a long time to figure that out.

[Veritaserum]

:seeya:

 

I'm one and I'm also a proud feminist. :)

[Ellie]

You're not alone. :)

I was a SAHM in San Diego, San Jose, and now Austin.

 

I once worked at a community college book store at the beginning of the semester for about two weeks.

 

When the "baby" was 18yo, I fell into a job as a desktop publisher for a commercial real estate company, a job I enjoyed for 2½ of the 3 years I worked there.

 

Otherwise, Mr. Ellie supported our family on his income. We thought it was best for me to be home with the children.

 

ETA: There haven't been children at home for a long time, but we still live on Mr. Ellie's income. I prefer being home. :-)

[Calm37]

Me, too! Me, too!

[marbel]

OP, I thought you might be asking where we are, geographically. Is that right?

 

 

I am curious about that too, just because of where I've always lived. But I'm just happy to hear from people! I don't feel like such a dinosaur.

 

I suppose on a homeschooling board there will be more SAHMs than in the general population, though I do know a lot of homeschooling moms who work nights, at home, etc.

 

In my original post I might have implied mothers only work because they have to. Of course I do know that there are people who just like to work and that there are many different reasons moms have paying jobs. So I hope I wasn't insulting toward anyone. (It seems almost impossible not to insult someone, despite my efforts to be concise and clear. Sigh.)

 

;)

 

BTW I worked for 21 years before I quit to have kids. I married rather late in life. Because of where we lived we assumed I'd go back to work after my maternity leave was up, but then when we started to look at daycare, my husband and I redid the numbers and decided I wouldn't go back to work. So many of my friends applauded the way I'd "manipulated" my husband into "letting me" stay home. That was very weird to me.

[Remudamom]

I've been at home now for 25 years. Ever since the first was born. I've never felt like anyone looked down on me. I don't get that. In my circles that's the coveted role. Being able to stay home and being a sahm.

 

That means if I want to sit home and eat bonbons I can.

 

It sounds like a nightmare to me to have an job where you have to get up and go somewhere? When did that become the dream? I'll never get it.

[justamouse]

I've been at home now for 17 years. I've worked a bit from home, but never anything that took me out of the house.

 

I could never, ever, work for someone else. I'm with Remuda, getting up to go work for another person is my idea of torture/nightmare. If I *had* to make an income, I would open up a business.

Edited July 13, 2012 by justamouse

[edelweiss]

I've been at home now for 25 years. Ever since the first was born. I've never felt like anyone looked down on me. I don't get that. In my circles that's the coveted role. Being able to stay home and being a sahm.

 

That means if I want to sit home and eat bonbons I can.

 

It sounds like a nightmare to me to have an job where you have to get up and go somewhere? When did that become the dream? I'll never get it.

 

That's what I have experienced too.

[Carrie12345]

 

In my original post I might have implied mothers only work because they have to. Of course I do know that there are people who just like to work and that there are many different reasons moms have paying jobs. So I hope I wasn't insulting toward anyone. (It seems almost impossible not to insult someone, despite my efforts to be concise and clear. Sigh.)

 

;)

 

 

 

Eh. I don't think you were insulting, but some comments in replies kinda make me roll my eyes. ;)

 

Yes, I know families who "wish" they could have a sahp but aren't interested in cutting back, but most people I know work because they like it and/or really need to. The "I'm frugal" line always gets me, lol. So am I, but I still enjoy work. It just doesn't fit in my lifestyle right now, so I have to wait.

[Stellalarella]

You're not alone. :)

 

 

ETA: There haven't been children at home for a long time, but we still live on Mr. Ellie's income. I prefer being home. :-)

 

I've often wished in my NIPSAHM-ness that there were women who were older than me who were still NIPSAHM. We live away from family and when my kids were all little, it would be nearly impossible for me to find anyone who could come over and watch my kids for me during the day. Sometimes I would hope to find a older friend, but most worked.

 

I am still NIP and still SAHMing. I hate to think of myself as non-income producing, but I guess when that Social Security statement comes in the mail, there is always the list of years and zeros behind it to prove it.

 

Most of my friends have left the toddler tunnel behind and are headed on to getting advanced degrees or restarting their careers.

 

I sometimes feel very alone; sometimes I feel twinges of jealousy towards my friends with masters degrees; and sometimes just a little sad that I don't have role models of NIPSAHMing to look up to.

 

But when i think about trading in this life for another, I happily choose NIPSAHMing.

[Shellydon]

I am one! I have the potential to produce lots of income, but we choose not to do that.

[AKamp]

Non-producing SAHM here. Several people have asked me if I would start babysitting their kids. I just can't bring myself to commit. Thankfully my husband fully supports that. :) I've been at home for 9 yrs now.

[justLisa]

I have been for the last 9 years or so. When I was 4 months pregnant DH told me I should just quit working if I wanted to have some time before the baby to enjoy my pregnancy and get rest/do the domestic things I wanted to do.

 

He is very supportive of me getting to do whatever I want to do after the kids are schooled. He tells me all the time I deserve to do whatever I want the rest of my life because my gift to the kids is priceless :D

 

Who wouldn't love a guy to say that?!

 

That said, I will probably at some point take my quilting hobby to another level and buy a long arm quilting machine, and quilt for others to help pay for it.

 

And I could *never* babysit others. Having friends over is one thing. As much as I hate to admit this, the older my kids get, I find I don't enjoy so much being responsible for the earlier years. That isn't to say I don't love my friend's kids or wouldn't love to help out here and there. Just not an all the time thing

Edited July 13, 2012 by 425lisamarie

[JoLuRu]

I'm a SAHM, and a feminist at that. Like Remudamom, in my area this is not a role that is looked down on.

[Verity]

No incoming-producing mom for about 13 years. I tried working for 6 months but hated being away from my (then) young children.

[Hilltop]

Non-producing SAHM here. Several people have asked me if I would start babysitting their kids. I just can't bring myself to commit. Thankfully my husband fully supports that. :) I've been at home for 9 yrs now.

 

 

I am one too. A couple of years ago I babysat my dh's co-worker's 2 year old ds for 3 months while she was in a tight spot, but I wouldn't do that again unless I was really, really in need of the money.

[WagsWife]

We currently live on the central coast of CA. We have been living on DH's income our entire marriage. While we were dating, we had many discussions about what we both wanted our lives/marriage/family to look like, and near the top of both of our lists was a SAHwife/mother. I don't see me ever going out into the workforce, unless something happens to to DH...and even then, he has made sure that I would not have to right away...if at all. If I did choose to work after the kids are grown, DH would support me, but we are hoping to adopt, and that would put us in late 50's early 60's before we had an empty nest. I don't see me starting a career at that point.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

I'm a SAHM making no income. We have to be really thrifty, especially since dh's good insurance went away and now we're paying 1/3 of his income just on medical insurance (double premium for NO coverage until we pay $3000 out of pocket) and medical expenses. Things get tight, but we tithe and trust in God to help us and He is good to provide when we need it.

[Ruby Rose]

I've been a SAHM since the birth of our first child 7 years ago. I plan to HS all the way through so I have at least 14 years, possibly more if our adoption dreams come true. It's a tough path, but one we think is worth any sacrifices we have to make. Stretching the family $ far enough is a job in and of itself!

[BigMamaBird]

I don't believe any of my large circle of SAHM friends makes an income of any sort. We're in Michigan if you're looking for a regional link.

[WiseOwlKnits]

I'm a SAHM and produce no income :D

 

Me too. :tongue_smilie:

[StaceyinLA]

my dd is staying home with dgs, and will be a SAHM producing no income until all her kids are school-age, unless she home schools (which she will for certain if they stay in the military).

 

My oldest dd and her fiancé have also discussed that she will be a sahm once they have children.

 

I'm very happy they have spouses/future spouses that support their desires to raise their children.

[prairiewindmomma]

We have a good number of NIP SAHMs in our area....even those who send their kids to public school full-time or whose children have all left the nest.

[lexi]

Hi! I'm one too :001_smile:

We do make sacrifices but it's worth it to us. My hubby actually teaches online on the side so I sometimes help him with attendance.

[Heart_Mom]

I don't produce any income, and haven't since my son was born almost 11 years ago. However, there are things that I do that save money, like almost never eating out, shopping frugally, etc.

 

It does feel funny sometimes to not be earning any money, but I wouldn't have it any other way. It's certainly not wrong to not be income-producing!

[lea1]

I worked for many years before I married and we adopted our two sons. I worked the first year we were married and then we moved so I had to quit my job and I enjoyed a glorious year off before we brought our sons home from Russia. Since then, I have been a SAHM with no job or income. I feel incredibly blessed to be able to stay at home and not have to work.

[twoxcell]

:coolgleamA:I'm right here in Oregon.

[Mommy22alyns]

I'm here too. I've been a SAHM for almost 10 years.

[learningmama]

I'm here, too! There are quite a few more non-producers in the Midwest where I am from than in the larger southern city we moved to. Cost of living is higher here, so more moms work, even if they do not make much. But, it is more common for me to see dads at the playground and pushing stollers during the day around here than moms. I say the moms have the jobs here and dads stay home. :confused:

[Kelly1730]

I am a sahm who brings in zero income. However, by homeschooling my sons I save our family $8400 plus a year in Christian school tuition which would be the alternative. I have worked part time on and off again over the 30 years since my first son was born. I never really enjoyed it. I like being home with my family and really have desire to be in the work force at all.

[fischerl]

I'm a SAHM and produced no income for about 18 years. A couple of years ago I began teaching Spanish at our homeschool co-op (students pay tuition and it all goes to the teacher) three hours per week. BUT, I get to put the money in a special travel fund. :D I'm saving up to take DD to England in a couple of years.