mykdsmomy Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 I didn't even know what title to give this thread but I hope anyone who has an opinion on this, feels free to post. I have always struggled with knowing that people are starving in other parts of the world, while I'm able to buy little extra things here and there....or more importantly, while I'm drinking my daily cup of Starbucks. Of course I can justify my Starbucks habit as 1. We don't take vacations or buy anything extravagant 2. I have six children and this is my ONLY vice! 3. (See number 2 lol) BUT......today I noticed a FB post from a friend at church who was promoting a ministry she works with that sponsors AIDS orphans in Kenya. These kiddos only need $35 a month for food, clean water, clothes and an elementary education. As a follower of Christ, don't we have a responsibility to these and others in the world who are hungry, poor, etc? How can we justify spending money on expensive clothes, jewelry, vacations, boats, RV's, sports cars, Starbucks (that's me...we can't afford the others lol), or other things that are frivolous, when our money could be used to help these less fortunate? And even if we do give to charity, sponsor a child, etc.....how much is "enough"? Where do we draw the line between our family's needs/wants and the needs of others? Thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 You have to understand that you cannot help everyone, but you can choose your battles. Choose carefully. Then, fight ferociously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 (edited) I think that is something that people need to figure out on their own between themselves and God. I personally am not comfortable sharing my own decisions regarding this because 1. I think that charity is something that should be done privately and not for show and 2. I don't think it is anyone else's business. I think the things you are thinking about are valid thought processes in coming up with your own personal approach to this subject. Edited June 4, 2012 by Jean in Newcastle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 You have to understand that you cannot help everyone, but you can choose your battles. Choose carefully. Then, fight ferociously. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 You have to understand that you cannot help everyone, but you can choose your battles. Choose carefully. Then, fight ferociously. This, exactly. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carpe Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 You have to understand that you cannot help everyone, but you can choose your battles. Choose carefully. Then, fight ferociously. :iagree: I think that is something that people need to figure out on their own between themselves and God. I personally am not comfortable sharing my own decisions regarding this because 1. I think that charity is something that should be done privately and not for show and 2. I don't think it is anyone else's business. I think the things you are thinking about are valid thought processes in coming up with your own personal approach to this subject. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawndrese Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 At times, I find myself struggling with those same questions. (Am I doing/giving enough) But I have to remind myself when I'm feeling this way, to spend more time in prayer and reading the Bible. That is where I find my answers :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 My church takes a 10% tithe from our income and the money is used for things exactly like that -relief of the poor - so we are already donating :001_smile: How can we justify big vacations and expensive purchases we don't really need when other people are suffering? - Well my take on it is that we can't justify it - but it doesn't mean it is wrong. We are supposed to be wise stewards with our money and we are charged to take care of our own family first. With our excess money we can choose how we spend it and I guess that is where your personal views come into play. My stance is that we should help the poor in our own backyards first. Yes it's nice and heartwarming to support a needy child in Africa - but the homeless man who sleeps in your local park is no less deserving KWIM :001_smile: If you don't have spare cash you are still able to help those needy people locally - by donating your time or skills to help better their lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunnyDays Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 You have to understand that you cannot help everyone, but you can choose your battles. Choose carefully. Then, fight ferociously. A very wise response. Some people do live much more pared-down lives in order to give more. Others may seem to be living the high life, with the fancy vacations and everything else you mentioned, but may still give a substantial percentage to various charities. I think your concern shows a caring, giving heart. :grouphug: But know that your act of getting yourself a coffee does not take away from that caring, giving heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 You have to understand that you cannot help everyone, but you can choose your battles. Choose carefully. Then, fight ferociously. I love this answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Besides choosing your battles (which I agree with), you also need to realize that every single purchase you make - from Starbucks to vacations and everything in between - helps someone else earn a living. If we were to all give up buying everything (except food and clothing) there would be so few jobs that everyone except the farmers would be on welfare (and some overseas clothing manufacturing plants). How would that work? When we take vacations or purchase anything we are mindful of what we are supporting with our $$. I, personally, didn't even like it when corporations opted to cancel holiday parties and give donations instead. What they are "saying" in reality is that the caterers, folks running the venue, suppliers, and everyone else who could have earned a living off their party ought to instead of working for a living, give up their jobs and glean from welfare organizations in order to get their needs met. I know they didn't really mean it that way, but that's what happens. Companies/workers who provide parties lost a bit of income... I'd rather see people spend and support a working environment - just spend wisely. (Who do you want to support?) Then still save up a little bit to give and give wisely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Upward Journey Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 You have to understand that you cannot help everyone, but you can choose your battles. Choose carefully. Then, fight ferociously. This. :iagree:Well said! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 You have to understand that you cannot help everyone, but you can choose your battles. Choose carefully. Then, fight ferociously. This is extremely wise advice! Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BugsMama Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Besides choosing your battles (which I agree with), you also need to realize that every single purchase you make - from Starbucks to vacations and everything in between - helps someone else earn a living. :iagree: I wish I could remember enough to provide a link, but on the coffee front- Coffee beans are a huge economic boost to many third world countries. A few years ago I took a sociology/agriculture class that approached this exact issue, and after crunching the numbers and seeing how much profit coffee (and chocolate) can bring in (combined with the training, and effects on the soil/water), we determined that purchasing coffee from x place is more benifical then handing money to x place. Which really doesn't say anything, other than I agree with above, and at one point in time could tell you exactly why. If you really worry about these things, look into the place where you get your coffee. Where are they getting their beans? How do they grow them? What good comes from you spending your money at this shop? (and, where are you going on vacation, and so on.... your money is supporting someone somewhere- find out if it is a worthy cause. If not, go elsewhere) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 I think people are called for different things. Some are called to help those in need in Africa to the point that they go over there and give of their time. Some send money to them. Some people are called to help those in their back yard by giving to those they come across that are in need whether it is friends, family or strangers. Some donate to large charities and some donate to their churches. Sometimes it is money and sometimes it is things and sometimes it is our time. There are many ways to give. Spend time reading the bible and praying to come up with the right answer for you. I don't think God wants us to feel guilty because we have more than others. I think he wants us to help others when we see a need. Part of that also involves spending money wisely. I hope you find what you are called to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bassoonaroo Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Seems we could always be doing more. One system that can leave you guilt-free is to sit down with dh and consider the family's income and divide it into four groups... 1) A percent that goes to charity (or tithe or giving). Each month, this amount is set and you've already decided that it goes to your local church, your child sponsorship, etc. This is your regular giving and it won't change often. Now and then discuss it and make sure everyone is okay with the amount going here or there. 2) A certain percent to use as "giving mad money," If a one-time opportunity arises to help in an emergency situation (tornado hit the next community over), when a missionary visits the church and needs a one-time gift, etc. This amount can accumulate because you won't use it each month. If it gets to be a rather large pot you can decide to give it to a certain cause. Since you already set it apart to help others, you shouldn't be tempted to use it for your family. You've already dedicated it to God's work even if you don't know the recipient immediately. Once this "pot" is used up, if an urgent cause comes along, you can honestly say you have no money for it. 3) The money you need to live off of, including contributions to savings. These are your regular expenses. Basic food, clothing, housing, healthcare, insurance, transportation, etc. Include your Starbucks in this since it's a regular expense. 4) A little mad money for the family. This can accumulate for vacations, home improvement, a nicer vehicle or home. Do not dip into any other categories to fund a vacation, etc. And, never dip into this account to give to charity as you've not designated it for that. Decide how much $$ you are going to give to causes and do it and then set up a firewall between your giving money and your family money. Don't give away your family money without a husband-wife meeting and without being in total agreement. With this system (and I don't think I explained it well), you are guilt-free. If money is designated for charity, that's where it is going and you know to not use it to fund a vacation. If the money is already designated for family, you can say no to a missionary appeal or emergency relief fund. If you prayerfully have considered how to divide your funds beforehand and "put up a firewall" you are good! No guilt. Of course, when a legit cause needs help, nothing is stopping you from praying for the cause. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 I've had a lot of these same thoughts. It's tough, isn't it? My family takes nice vacations. Occasionally, I start to feel guilty about it. But, then I realize how many people I am supporting by taking those vacations! That is how you can justify Starbucks - you are supporting the people who grow the coffee. You are supporting the person who served you the coffee. You are supporting the people transporting the coffee beans. Etc, etc, etc. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 You have to understand that you cannot help everyone, but you can choose your battles. Choose carefully. Then, fight ferociously. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 You have to understand that you cannot help everyone, but you can choose your battles. Choose carefully. Then, fight ferociously. :iagree: I hate that cartoon where they have God looking at the TV and the picture is of a starving child? People starving is OUR responsibility. So yes, I think everyone who can needs to give a bit and have some charity that they focus on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 (edited) You have to understand that you cannot help everyone, but you can choose your battles. Choose carefully. Then, fight ferociously. :iagree: On the other hand, I've seen people brag about the kids they sponsor overseas (nothing wrong with this part). The same people not only won't lift a finger to those in need in their back yard, but also speak derogatorily about them as though everyone in need in the US is at fault for their own lack. Edited June 4, 2012 by mommaduck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 You have to understand that you cannot help everyone, but you can choose your battles. Choose carefully. Then, fight ferociously. :iagree:I concur with Audrey and others who have agreed with her. You can't feed everyone; but you can do something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMA Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 You have to understand that you cannot help everyone, but you can choose your battles. Choose carefully. Then, fight ferociously. :iagree: Remember that Jesus even said that we would always have the poor. I prefer to help closer to home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 You have to understand that you cannot help everyone, but you can choose your battles. Choose carefully. Then, fight ferociously. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 You have to understand that you cannot help everyone, but you can choose your battles. Choose carefully. Then, fight ferociously. :iagree: God will prompt you if there's something He wants you to do. When He does, act on those convictions, but don't feel that your convictions should be everyone else's convictions too. That's a lesson I'm still trying to learn myself. :) I tend to get indignant when I see people who have money (which I don't ;)) spending it on things like boats, fancy cars, showcase homes, designer clothes, and extravagant vacations when there are people even in our own country who are living under bridges. I have to remind myself that God may not be leading them in the same direction He's leading me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 I think about it a lot. I don't like living extravagantly and I don't feel good doing so. I also agree there are plenty of people locally to help. You could give everything you have and there would still be people to help. I've been working out a system here for us similiar to PP. A certain percentage given to church, some to a cause we believe in and some just set aside for when there is someone in need. I think we have an obligation to take care of our family first but for most of us in the first world we are blessed to have much left over even doing so. I still don't feel we are exactly where we are to be, but I'm not sure where that is though. I do think it is good to support others in our purchases but I think there are lots of ways to do that without living it up on our own end though (although what qualifies as living it up varies widely). Unfortunately it is something we have to work out in our own conscious and with prayer. As long as we take care of our family though I think it better to err on the side of giving too much as I don't see God faulting us for that, although Jesus spoke often of the rich man having a hard time getting into heaven. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 I do believe we will be held responsible for our actions. Not seeing the starving doesn't mean it doesn't exist and to whom much is given, much is required. I certainly have a long way to go. I tend to get busy in my own life and sometimes forget, even though I grew up with it all around me. Dawn I didn't even know what title to give this thread but I hope anyone who has an opinion on this, feels free to post. I have always struggled with knowing that people are starving in other parts of the world, while I'm able to buy little extra things here and there....or more importantly, while I'm drinking my daily cup of Starbucks. Of course I can justify my Starbucks habit as 1. We don't take vacations or buy anything extravagant 2. I have six children and this is my ONLY vice! 3. (See number 2 lol) BUT......today I noticed a FB post from a friend at church who was promoting a ministry she works with that sponsors AIDS orphans in Kenya. These kiddos only need $35 a month for food, clean water, clothes and an elementary education. As a follower of Christ, don't we have a responsibility to these and others in the world who are hungry, poor, etc? How can we justify spending money on expensive clothes, jewelry, vacations, boats, RV's, sports cars, Starbucks (that's me...we can't afford the others lol), or other things that are frivolous, when our money could be used to help these less fortunate? And even if we do give to charity, sponsor a child, etc.....how much is "enough"? Where do we draw the line between our family's needs/wants and the needs of others? Thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnitWit Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 You have to understand that you cannot help everyone, but you can choose your battles. Choose carefully. Then, fight ferociously. I completely agree with this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommy5 Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 I'm going to suggest that perhaps the Holy Spirit is pricking your heart for a reason. Perhaps this is an area that you need to act upon. Have you considered doing something like sponsoring a child in a "hungry" country? Organizations like Compassion International and World Vision make it very easy to sponsor a child in need and make monthly donations. Just a thought. Ultimately this is between you and the Lord, and only you will know the direction you need to take. I was thinking the same thing. :iagree: Remember that Jesus even said that we would always have the poor. I prefer to help closer to home. :iagree: :iagree: God will prompt you if there's something He wants you to do. When He does, act on those convictions, but don't feel that your convictions should be everyone else's convictions too. That's a lesson I'm still trying to learn myself. :) I tend to get indignant when I see people who have money (which I don't ;)) spending it on things like boats, fancy cars, showcase homes, designer clothes, and extravagant vacations when there are people even in our own country who are living under bridges. I have to remind myself that God may not be leading them in the same direction He's leading me. I have the same problem! ;) I do think this is something the OP should explore more ... to see where she can be used. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughing lioness Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 You have to understand that you cannot help everyone, but you can choose your battles. Choose carefully. Then, fight ferociously. :iagree:This. What are you called to do? What are you called to sacrifice? I personally don't buy drinks at coffee shops because I can make 4-6 for a dollar or two at home (check here and here, knock off sites, pinterest). My dh and I believe that the money that we have is not "ours" per se, but ours to steward. This has been even more clear to us since our house fire. So many expensive decisions to be made quickly, so much "stuff" that we had scrimped and saved for for years thrown in the dump. We support a few, very select missionaries, that have tentmaking ministries, we know them personally and trust them as people and what their ministry is about. We have supported children through Compassion Int'l on and off over the last 3 decades. We carefully check out where the money goes when we send support through organizations. We pray for the kids we support. My dh (and I, though it's less obvious) gives generously of his expertise for no charge. We consider that a tithe. We give generously of what we have, even when it has felt like a sacrifice- clothes, books, money, time, service. We pray for those in need. We pray right now when the situation calls for it. We try to live with no regrets. If we fell a tug or a calling, we wrestle with it until we understand what it is about and then act on it. This has taken us on crazy paths that others (and at times we) don't understand. Forever Ruined for the Ordinary by Joy Dawson was a life changing book for both my dh and I, along with the Experiencing God course by Blackaby and King. I love Howard Morgan and one of his phrases that really convicts me regularly is, "What is the Word of the Lord to you today?" I love what Audrey said, but I would modify it to say that the Lord can direct you to the battles He would have you fight ferociously for. I agree with Kinsa and wonder what it is that the Holy Spirit is calling you to? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 i read crazy love by francis chan & it changed my life. i can't change the world, but i can change lives. i can be responsible with what i have and not hoard unnecessary things. i freely give now with an open hand & pray for opportunities in my path to help others in their's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 A great book on Christian giving is this: http://www.amazon.com/When-Helping-Hurts-Alleviate-Yourself/dp/0802457061/ref=dp_ob_title_bk/181-3804253-6237844 When Helping Hurts: How to Alleviate Poverty Without Hurting the Poor . . . and Yourself by Steve Corbett and Brain Fikkert It's very well written and Biblically based. My oldest son chose his college, in part, because it's where these two teach and he wants to go into microfinance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittleWonders Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 First of all, I agree with what others have said; you need to pick your "battle" and then support it as best as you can. :) But more than that, you are already doing your part. Sure, someone from church is supporting orphans with AIDS in Africa, but is she taking in foster children and giving them all the love they need to grow and thrive? She is helping internationally; you are helping right in your own backyard. Both are worthy. Both are what we are called to do. And I believe ultimately our first mission field is our families - we have been given the children under our roof to raise; all the money in the world going to orphans in another country counts for nothing, in my humble opinion, if we do not do right by those under our direct charge. :) (Not saying anything about the woman from your church and what she is feeling called to do; just using what she is called to do as an example.) You know I love you! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 How can we justify big vacations and expensive purchases we don't really need when other people are suffering? - Well my take on it is that we can't justify it - but it doesn't mean it is wrong. Those things all support other people's employment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the4Rs Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Is Starbucks wrong? No. Don't feel guilty about a cup of coffee, but if your focus is only ever on yourself (this is general- not OP specific) and your wants and never on the needs of others, then that IS wrong. If you are doing stuff to help others with your time, talent or money but feel like it is not enough...be careful to examine why you feel this way. Is it the Holy Spirit pricking you or is it Satan trying to make you feel like you aren't worthy to be called a Christian. We are first and foremost saved by grace not by our actions...we cannot earn a place in heaven (Though I daresay I certainly have tried to.) But out of our great love for God, our generosity and compassion should flow out of us freely like water from a faucet. When we realize that NOTHING we have is actually ours, then it makes it much easier to give without guilt and buy without guilt. God has given us everything we have...we are only stewards with it for goor or bad. If he is convicting you to do more, then you must prayerfully ask God how and where he wants you to invest for his kingdom. For me, I always remember that someday I will stand before God and give an accounting for my life. My prayer is that I will hear "well done, good and faithful servant." A servant is one who does the will of his master. Scripture is clear that if we are his followers then we should do what he did..and it is equally clear that while we will always have the poor, we are commanded over and over again to care for the oppressed and poor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 I didn't even know what title to give this thread but I hope anyone who has an opinion on this, feels free to post. I have always struggled with knowing that people are starving in other parts of the world, while I'm able to buy little extra things here and there....or more importantly, while I'm drinking my daily cup of Starbucks. Of course I can justify my Starbucks habit as 1. We don't take vacations or buy anything extravagant 2. I have six children and this is my ONLY vice! 3. (See number 2 lol) BUT......today I noticed a FB post from a friend at church who was promoting a ministry she works with that sponsors AIDS orphans in Kenya. These kiddos only need $35 a month for food, clean water, clothes and an elementary education. As a follower of Christ, don't we have a responsibility to these and others in the world who are hungry, poor, etc? How can we justify spending money on expensive clothes, jewelry, vacations, boats, RV's, sports cars, Starbucks (that's me...we can't afford the others lol), or other things that are frivolous, when our money could be used to help these less fortunate? And even if we do give to charity, sponsor a child, etc.....how much is "enough"? Where do we draw the line between our family's needs/wants and the needs of others? Thoughts? You give what you lovingly can. You do not give because you've been shamed into giving up your Starbucks. I also think it's fine to help without falsely feeling you alone must save the world. I know I can tend to go in that direction. I don't feel I need to "justify" living a comfortable, Western life because there are others desperately poor. Yes, we could live on less. But even if we lived in a cardboard shack and gave every extra penny to help the poor, we would not eliminate all the need and lack in the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 An excellent book is: http://www.amazon.com/Rich-Christians-Age-Hunger-Generosity/dp/0849945305/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1338839551&sr=8-1 We don't live extravagantly, but there are always areas we can cut. I have mentioned before that I wish we had a smaller/more economical house. Dh doesn't really want to move and we are afraid the loss would be large with this market, but it is still something I pray about. We moved here from Los Angeles, where everyone was "house poor" to some degree. we were in a totally different housing frame of mind when we moved here and were like kids in the candy store thinking everything was "SO CHEAP!" I think of how we could have a house paid for by now had we bought something less expensive. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristyB in TN Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 I love this thread. What beautiful thoughts and fantastic debate. The OP has a lovely heart. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingerbread Mama Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 My stance is that we should help the poor in our own backyards first. Yes it's nice and heartwarming to support a needy child in Africa - but the homeless man who sleeps in your local park is no less deserving KWIM :001_smile: :iagree:I do things like buy school supplies for kids who don't have them, provide clothing for local children going without, we have twice purchased an entire Christmas,stockings and all, for three children who we knew wouldn't have one otherwise. When we asked for help from our church in the Christmas efforts, we were told that they already support causes overseas :confused: I don't understand why churches now think missions must be done off local soil. Help those in your community, no other country is going to come do it for you. That said, we take our kids places, buy good clothes, we took the kids to Disney and want to take them back. I wouldn't do it IN PLACE of helping others less fortunate, but I don't think you have to impoverish your family or deny your kids fun/nice stuff to do for others, either. We work hard to provide for our kids, that is one of the things we provide. I don't justify it at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 My stance is that we should help the poor in our own backyards first. Yes it's nice and heartwarming to support a needy child in Africa - but the homeless man who sleeps in your local park is no less deserving KWIM :001_smile: I've wondered about this myself. I used to attend a megachurch in a wealthy area that did missions to Brazil. Yet a 20 minute drive from their church stood a neighborhood with devastating poverty and any number of broken souls that could use love, god's word and a helping hand. It was almost like it was (pardon the expression) sexier to help those in far flung places than our own back yard. I know that the poorest of the poor in brazil have it rough, but the poorest of the poor here (many of whom are undocumented/ illegal immigrants) live in squalor, have no health care beyond the ER, and often are abused at work. So it always left me :confused: ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 You have to understand that you cannot help everyone, but you can choose your battles. Choose carefully. Then, fight ferociously. Well put. I agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Money and worldly possessions are not the only things we can give. We can give of our time. We can give love and encouragement. All of which you are doing as a foster parent (believe me, I know because I was one for several years). We never made profit as a foster parent so I assume that you are paying lots out of pocket that could be considered a charitable donation if you wanted to see it that way. While the Bible does tell us to care for widows and orphans, the example I have seen is that they first cared for those who were local. You don't see any examples of aid being gathered by people in one country being sent to another country in the Bible and I believe that is because we need to care for those near us first. Yes, I believe in missionaries and all that as well, and I support missionaries that I know. But if we are to be living examples, then we can only be seen by those near us on a regular basis. Sending $35 to Africa is good, but they still won't see us as a living, breathing daily example of Christian life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 I remember the widow in the Bible who gave of what she had, it was considered more because it was a hardship for her. When I think of that I know I am lacking in generosity. I also try to focus on what is local. I tried several times last year to step out and help in the community and everything failed. I thought that is what God was calling me towards but then I realized it wasn't. Instead I tried to focus on serving my family and waiting to see what God puts in front of us. It seems there is always someone in need at dh's work. Dh was asked to volunteer at church. A friend's house burned down. I don't know the answer, there is a need for help in so many places and so many ways. A pp mentioned how helping in some ways was considered "sexier" than others. I see that as well. Everyone wants to be the one handing out the food or the meal, or making a huge difference but sometimes it is the small things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 To what extent are we Panem? Something to think about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalynnrmc Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Confession: I didn't read any responses whatsoever. (Okay, not quite true - I read that first one. It's a single line. LOL) We have been learning in the extreme about this over the past year. God has really spoken to us (by way of experience) how very very very VERRRRRYYY little we actually need to get by, to survive. We've done it this past year. Well, Feb of last year to about that same time this year. So then I've had this huge complex over not spending any extra money EVER because there are so many things that money can do. Right? RIGHT?? Right. But. The Lord WANTS to bless us. He wants us to enjoy life. He wants us to enjoy the blessings He gives us, and He *wants* us to *prosper*!! Those are His plans for us, per Jeremiah. So, after coming all the way to rock bottom, learning through the Holy Spirit about His standards and expectations (think: Old Testament law is still the standard, but for grace through Christ we are not UNDER it). And that's just it - understand the standard, have a heart for the standard, and be willing and able to move in it when God instructs you to do so. This is where stewardship comes in (our next lesson, btw ;) ). I figured something out at Christmas time. Yes, that $300-$500 or so I spent on my 5 kids plus another couple hundred on "immediate" family (read: my parents and siblings and their kids, as well as hubby's) could have paid for a couple of children to eat for a full year. But would it have been right to deny my children the joy of giving and of receiving during a time of celebration? Children their ages don't understand, oh but we fed orphans in Africa instead of getting you a basketball goal. It doesn't compute. And I was brought to my knees to realize that IT"S OKAY to spend that money for the joy and celebration in my own family and life. All of that said, I'll also say that our situation is probably an extreme. Not probably. The Lord is taking us on this journey for a specific reason. I'll be glad one day to know what it is. :glare::001_huh::001_smile: YES. Do everything within your power to help with the convictions the Lord has given you. Get radical about it. Give up some coffee... but not all of it. The Lord has you here in this land of plenty, of blessing, of excess for a reason. He knows your cultural and environmental considerations and upbringing and walls you've put up in your heart and what all you've been through. He knows. And He uses ALL things for HIS glory. *And* for YOUR good. Let Him use you. AND Let Him bless you. Both. (We need a smiley that just has 2 pennies.) :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 I just wanted to mention that, when I opened this thread and saw that it was already several pages long, I was expecting a trainwreck of epic proportion, because this kind of topic often tends to go south in a big way, very quickly. I'm very glad to see that everyone has been very respectful thus far, and I hope it continues. I know many of us have vastly different opinions of what type of lifestyle is "appropriate" and that our definitions of "excessive spending" vary widely, as well, and it's great that this thread hasn't gone down that road. :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 You have to understand that you cannot help everyone, but you can choose your battles. Choose carefully. Then, fight ferociously. :iagree: I think that is something that people need to figure out on their own between themselves and God. 1. I think that charity is something that should be done privately and not for show and 2. I don't think it is anyone else's business. . :iagree: the other thing I worry about those "send money and support a child" organizations is, how much money actually gets to the child? how much is overhead? is it just food? or are they learning skills so they can eventually earn their own living and support themselves and their own families and no longer need support from americans? (and yes, there ARE organizations that do that in third world countries. but they are the exception, not the rule.) I will NOT donate to something that is a perpetual welfare organization - as that isn't helping anyone but those administering the program. you also need to realize that every single purchase you make - from Starbucks to vacations and everything in between - helps someone else earn a living. If we were to all give up buying everything (except food and clothing) there would be so few jobs that everyone except the farmers would be on welfare (and some overseas clothing manufacturing plants). How would that work? . :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon H in IL Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 I enjoy looking for new ways to give back in my everyday life. I have discovered that the men's group at my church sells prepaid gift cards to all sorts of businesses that I trade with. The profits they make go to missions. So now part of my weekly budget goes to buy gift cards for my daily spending. I keep track of how much is left on each card with a little sticker that I write on with a pencil. I store them in my coupon notebook. When I was going downtown frequently, I made lunch sacks and left them out by the main library, where homeless people tend to gather. When I was in a new mom, I helped the local parenting education and support community center by finding clean copies of good books to stock their library shelf. It was a win-win. When I was a more experienced mom, I did the same in my new home with a different parenting education & support group. I bought most of its library for a dollar here and two dollars there, and maintained the online booklist. I gave tons of talks on positive discipline to parents who were desperate for tools to help parent challenging children. I donate blood regularly. It wasn't required that all Jesus' disciples drop their homes and jobs and move out to the wilderness like John the Baptist in order to make a difference. From my reading, buying products made by people in developing countries is the most important and useful thing we in the developed world can do to improve the lot of those in distress. Buy responsibly. Give frequently. Live with gratitude and joy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 The major religions provide guidelines for helping those less fortunate. I don't recall any of them saying that making oneself destitute is required in order to be doing enough for the poor. If everyone would try to do something significant for those in need, there would be enough to go around. That said, I like the way Audrey put it. The other thing is to make sure we're raising the next generation to understand what's important in life and what their moral responsibilities are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma23peas Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Consider this, if there were no starving children or those in need, would we need a Father to guide us? I think by saying man should meet all needs we deny that God had a Hand in it...He uses all things to His Glory...the poor, the middle class, the rich. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mykdsmomy Posted June 5, 2012 Author Share Posted June 5, 2012 Thank you all for your thoughtful responses :) There are a lot of great points here that I have been thinking over. I also want to look into the books that were suggested :) Part of my problem is that I'm constantly feeling like I need to do more. We have six kiddos currently....the youngest two are foster babies but we are hoping to adopt them. Several of our kids have special needs. I realize that's quite a bit to handle right there....BUT...my heart hurts for the homeless man that is always standing outside of Target.....the many many special needs children on waiting lists in our county, the teeny babies in the NICU at the hospital who will be there for several months until they are finally stable enough to be placed in a foster home, etc..... (There is also this whole other thing going on in our family right now. My MIL, who is toxic, is dying of liver cancer. She lives alone so we are all taking turns helping her out. She has hospice care ...but of course I feel badly for not doing more for her. There is no verse in the bible that talks about helping family who have inflicted years of hurt into your life) But I digress (sorry...I'm sort of all over the map here). I know that I need to spend much more time in prayer. I'm sure that's where my clarity will come from but I do appreciate all of your help here. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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