Kindergartner handcuffed and arrested/charged

[joannqn]

http://news.yahoo.com/police-handcuff-georgia-kindergartner-tantrum-165424558.html

 

 

What do you think?

 

Went to far? Or maybe she will think twice about throwing a tantrum again?

[Remudamom]

Well, I don't know about that girl, but my little great nephew decided he didn't want to go to kindergarten, threw a fit outside the school and ended up biting two different people. Maybe the principal? Superintendent? They threatened to call the sheriff if he didn't straighten up.

 

He behaves like that a lot.

[mom2denj]

What a sad situation. I think the arrest and handcuffs were a little much. I think maybe she should have been put in the squad car until her parents got there to pick her up. She was being extremely violent and since no one is allowed to restrain her, then I feel they did need to take her out of the school. Of course if they would have just sat her in the car, I am sure the parents would find wrong with that too.

[Haiku]

In my pre-kid life I was a social worker, and I dealt with some emotionally messed up kids. A six year old throwing a tantrum destroyed my knee and put me out of work for 8 weeks. Some kids behave so violently that I am not really opposed to calling the police on them.

 

Tara

[UnionJack]

I don't see a problem with it, in the slightest. What I found odd, though, was (according to another article I read: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/04/17/police-handcuff-georgia-kindergartner-for-tantrum/?test=latestnews) the officers gave her a Coke to calm her down. :confused1: HUH?!?? My children (6, 4, 2) haven't ever had caffeine, but I think it is pretty safe to say that a Coke would NOT ever calm them down!

[Shawndrese]

What a sad situation. I think the arrest and handcuffs were a little much. I think maybe she should have been put in the squad car until her parents got there to pick her up. She was being extremely violent and since no one is allowed to restrain her, then I feel they did need to take her out of the school. Of course if they would have just sat her in the car, I am sure the parents would find wrong with that too.

 

:iagree:

I agree with needing to remove her from the school, but to actually handcuff and place a 6 yr old in a cell?! IMO that was going too far. Of course I don't think my kids would ever act that way, but IF they did, and I saw them actually in a jail cell, I would not be happy! (at the age of 6...)

And it makes me sad to think of why this child would be acting this way to begin with...what kind of life does she have at home, is there something maybe mentally wrong???

[Jean in Newcastle]

I don't see a problem with it, in the slightest. What I found odd, though, was (according to another article I read: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/04/17/police-handcuff-georgia-kindergartner-for-tantrum/?test=latestnews) the officers gave her a Coke to calm her down. :confused1: HUH?!?? My children (6, 4, 2) haven't ever had caffeine, but I think it is pretty safe to say that a Coke would NOT ever calm them down!

 

It would if they had ADHD.

[Unicorn.]

From the article: "Salecia was accused of tearing items off the walls and throwing books and toys in an outburst Friday at Creekside Elementary in Milledgeville, a city of about 18,000, some 90 miles from Atlanta, police said. Authorities said she also threw a small shelf that struck the principal in the leg, and jumped on a paper shredder and tried to break a glass frame.

 

Police refused to say what set off the tantrum. The school called police, and when an officer tried to calm the child in the principle's office, she resisted, authorities said"

 

I think it was justified. She was a danger to herself and everyone around her.

 

I don't see a problem with it, in the slightest. What I found odd, though, was (according to another article I read: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/04/17/police-handcuff-georgia-kindergartner-for-tantrum/?test=latestnews) the officers gave her a Coke to calm her down. :confused1: HUH?!?? My children (6, 4, 2) haven't ever had caffeine, but I think it is pretty safe to say that a Coke would NOT ever calm them down!

 

The officers put her in the sqaud room and offered her a coke to calm her down (think bribery).

[Whereneverever]

:iagree:

I agree with needing to remove her from the school, but to actually handcuff and place a 6 yr old in a cell?! IMO that was going too far. Of course I don't think my kids would ever act that way, but IF they did, and I saw them actually in a jail cell, I would not be happy! (at the age of 6...)

And it makes me sad to think of why this child would be acting this way to begin with...what kind of life does she have at home, is there something maybe mentally wrong???

 

The article said she wasn't in a cell, I thought?

[Unicorn.]

Her family said she was in a cell, the police said they didn't have her in a cell, but the squad room.

[UnionJack]

It would if they had ADHD.

 

Oh!! I completely missed she has ADHD. I skimmed the article and then got hung up on them giving her a Coke!

[Shawndrese]

Her family said she was in a cell, the police said they didn't have her in a cell, but the squad room.

 

Well, that I can understand. It was the vision of a child handcuffed and behind bars that bothered me the most.

[UnionJack]

From the article: "Salecia was accused of tearing items off the walls and throwing books and toys in an outburst Friday at Creekside Elementary in Milledgeville, a city of about 18,000, some 90 miles from Atlanta, police said. Authorities said she also threw a small shelf that struck the principal in the leg, and jumped on a paper shredder and tried to break a glass frame.

 

Police refused to say what set off the tantrum. The school called police, and when an officer tried to calm the child in the principle's office, she resisted, authorities said"

 

I think it was justified. She was a danger to herself and everyone around her.

 

 

 

The officers put her in the sqaud room and offered her a coke to calm her down (think bribery).

 

Ahhh...so maybe that was it. I could see my boys being temporarily calmed while scarfing down bribery-treats...probably not for long, though.:)

[ssavings]

I have a friend who has a child who has a mood disorder. She's an awesome kid, but has violent rages. She was about 7 the first time her mother (who is amazing, wonderful, and deeply devoted to this girl) called the police to restrain the girl. Mom said she would nearly certainly have badly hurt herself or someone else.

 

So, yeah, I can see it being called for...

 

Sad, though.

[thefragile7393]

:iagree:

I agree with needing to remove her from the school, but to actually handcuff and place a 6 yr old in a cell?! IMO that was going too far. Of course I don't think my kids would ever act that way, but IF they did, and I saw them actually in a jail cell, I would not be happy! (at the age of 6...)

And it makes me sad to think of why this child would be acting this way to begin with...what kind of life does she have at home, is there something maybe mentally wrong???

Talk about humiliation. Police aren't trained for situations like these, however, and treat every situation as though they are with a criminal. It sounds like there could be some mental issues, allergy issues...who knows. I hope the family will get answers and help the child...although they could be causing the situation as well.

No way do I agree with handcuffing though, humiliation isn't a great tactic. Often times the handcuffs and stuff aggravate the situation even more. And there are easier ways to keep a child from harming themselves or others...however, like I said, I'm not thinking police are trained in those.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Oh!! I completely missed she has ADHD. I skimmed the article and then got hung up on them giving her a Coke!

 

Oh, I don't know that she does. I was just saying that if she did, it would have that effect.

[helena]

Here's a BBC article on school arrests in the US (Texas specifically): http://m.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17664075

 

Here's a documentary you can listen to: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00qh8pf

[Kirch]

I'm not sure about the cuffs, but this quote from her mom FLOORED me:

 

She has mood swings some days, which all of us had mood swings some days. I guess that was just one of her bad days.

 

Seriously??? I get having mood swings, but tearing things off walls, knocking over a shelf, throwing furniture, biting a doorknob, trying to break a glass frame, and jumping on top of a paper shredder?? If that's a mood swing, I'd bate to see a temper tantrum.:001_huh:

[Mergath]

Talk about humiliation. Police aren't trained for situations like these, however, and treat every situation as though they are with a criminal. It sounds like there could be some mental issues, allergy issues...who knows. I hope the family will get answers and help the child...although they could be causing the situation as well.

No way do I agree with handcuffing though, humiliation isn't a great tactic. Often times the handcuffs and stuff aggravate the situation even more. And there are easier ways to keep a child from harming themselves or others...however, like I said, I'm not thinking police are trained in those.

 

Allergies? I really doubt the girl's violent raging tantrum was caused by allergies. Also, from the sound of it, the concern was for the safety of the people around her. Even a girl that age can seriously harm somebody if she breaks a window or something, so it probably wasn't feasible for them to continue trying to talk her down. And if their policy is to cuff everyone they bring in, I'm not going to fault them for following it.

[joannqn]

I have a friend who has a child who has a mood disorder. She's an awesome kid, but has violent rages. She was about 7 the first time her mother (who is amazing, wonderful, and deeply devoted to this girl) called the police to restrain the girl. Mom said she would nearly certainly have badly hurt herself or someone else.

 

 

This kind of thing always surprises me. My brother has Fragile X Syndrome and is severely disabled by it. He was prone to violent rages. A social worker/specialist of some sort came to our house and taught us, me included, how to restrain my brother safely until he could calm down. In some cases, a time out in the space between a door and the wall was utilized because he couldn't get out to break anything or hurt anyone. Other times when a safe time out location wasn't available, restraint involved getting him down on the ground on his stomach, straddling him, and holding his arm behind his back in such a way that light pressure caused pain. Yeah, it caused him pain if he struggled and more pressure had to be applied, but it was effective in keeping him down until he calmed down enough to be let up. In the car, he wore a harness to prevent him from attacking the driver. These same measures were used at his school, which was a self-contained special ed school, though they had a larger time out space created by very large storage cabinets. At no time were we without options, and none of the options involved calling the police.

 

Yeah, that's an extreme example, but I don't see why a child would be allowed to rage unrestrained and why the police are involved so easily.

 

In a typical school setting, I would expect to see an IEP define exactly what measures would be used to restraint an out of control child. If there is no IEP, their should be disciplinary measures in place for this type of thing while parents are called to pick up their child immediately. The child needs to be taught that that kind of behavior is completely unacceptable. By calling the police, the child now has the parents' sympathy because they were treated so appallingly when the focus should be on the child's behavior and how to ensure it doesn't happen again.

 

ETA: I see it as either a lack of training that stems from integrating special needs students into the regular classroom (with teachers who aren't properly trained in how to deal with special needs kids) or from lack of discipline at home and at school.

Edited April 18, 2012 by joannqn

[NASDAQ]

It sounds like the parents are not coming to terms with the severity of their child's difficulties. "Mood swings"? What?

[SonshineLearner]

I don't see a problem with it, in the slightest. What I found odd, though, was (according to another article I read: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/04/17/police-handcuff-georgia-kindergartner-for-tantrum/?test=latestnews) the officers gave her a Coke to calm her down. :confused1: HUH?!?? My children (6, 4, 2) haven't ever had caffeine, but I think it is pretty safe to say that a Coke would NOT ever calm them down!

 

 

 

Actually, it might if she had ADHD... which I would assume she does, although it might be the least of her issues :(

Edited April 18, 2012 by NayfiesMama
Saw that Jean and maybe some others mentioned the (possible)ADHD, too...

[PhotoGal]

A six year old? In kindergarten? No, I can't imagine calling the police. Maybe if she was actually trying to hurt other students or herself. But pulling papers off the wall? I would call the principal and her parents. This girl (and her parents) needs counceling, not the experience of being arrested.

[fraidycat]

In this case, I would say it's completely justified. She was not just ripping down paper. She THREW a SHELF. If anyone had tried to restrain her (besides police), then the family would be filing abuse or assault charges...guaranteed. The schools are not allowed to discipline anymore. Putting her behind a door would have been "false imprisonment".

 

Sorry, the U.S. is way too litigious to do anything other than call the police nowadays. It's sad, really.

[Mergath]

 

Yeah, that's an extreme example, but I don't see why a child would be allowed to rage unrestrained and why the police are involved so easily.

 

 

 

That's the issue here, though. The police were the only ones legally allowed to restrain her, and she was a danger to the other kids. I don't see where the school had much choice.

[brandigirl]

I am with police on this one don't even mind her being in a cell. Just because she is a child does not mean she is dangerous. I remember in Pre K some kid in our class had a melt down grabbed wooden blocks and started pegging people. He hit one kid in the head and knocked a tooth out then climbed a book shelf yelled superman and jumped kid broke his nose and skull when he came back he had a lot of stitches. Same kid had another meltdown and broke his arm I think if someone had stepped in Nd diffused the situation I would have been much better. IMO that's all I remember from Pre-K. But I seriously don think giving her coke was a good idea but then again those cops were probably about to through a temper tantrum of their own at that pint!

[*Lulu*]

Allergies? I really doubt the girl's violent raging tantrum was caused by allergies. Also, from the sound of it, the concern was for the safety of the people around her. Even a girl that age can seriously harm somebody if she breaks a window or something, so it probably wasn't feasible for them to continue trying to talk her down. And if their policy is to cuff everyone they bring in, I'm not going to fault them for following it.

 

:iagree:

 

I totally agree with this. It could possibly have been an overreaction on the school's part, (a shelf can be large or small and so forth), but the family reaction causes me to believe it likely is not.

[mom2scouts]

A six year old? In kindergarten? No, I can't imagine calling the police. Maybe if she was actually trying to hurt other students or herself. But pulling papers off the wall? I would call the principal and her parents. This girl (and her parents) needs counceling, not the experience of being arrested.

 

She wasn't just throwing papers, she threw a shelf and other things and DID INJURE the principal. She was doing other things that were dangerous to her and everyone around her. Obviously the principal was already involved and SIX attempts to contact her parents failed. In my school district, the school is required to call the police for ANY violent or potentially violent act. I think the handcuffs were needed and her parents are in denial (mood swings, really?).

[kewb]

At first I thought "This is ridiculous"

Then I really started thinking about the information given in the article. Then I started thinking about how this is becoming more and more common.

 

For me, I think the schools are out of ideas and/or options on how to maintain discipline in a classroom. There are so many things they are not allowed to do. School is not designed to teach to every child. It aims at the middle. If you have a class with multiple students with an IEP, behaviorial issues, super smart, special needs, etc. it becomes about the teacher managing the classroom all the time and not actually teaching anything.

 

To be honest, I think a lot of this could be corrected by the parents. There are parents who are not involved, think the school is there to train their child in everything not just the 3rs, think that the purpose of school is to get their kids out of their hair for 6 hours a day, or just don't know how to parent and this spills into the classroom. Not all parents are like this but enough are to make it incredibly difficult for the teachers.

 

I think we expect too much from the teachers without any support from administration and parents. I think the increase in using police for these things is a clear warning sign that something is very wrong and needs to be fixed. But those parents who could help fix this are not looking for some self reflection and change they are looking for the school to fix it without having personal accountability in the outcome.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

This kind of thing always surprises me. My brother has Fragile X Syndrome and is severely disabled by it. He was prone to violent rages. A social worker/specialist of some sort came to our house and taught us, me included, how to restrain my brother safely until he could calm down. In some cases, a time out in the space between a door and the wall was utilized because he couldn't get out to break anything or hurt anyone. Other times when a safe time out location wasn't available, restraint involved getting him down on the ground on his stomach, straddling him, and holding his arm behind his back in such a way that light pressure caused pain. Yeah, it caused him pain if he struggled and more pressure had to be applied, but it was effective in keeping him down until he calmed down enough to be let up. In the car, he wore a harness to prevent him from attacking the driver. These same measures were used at his school, which was a self-contained special ed school, though they had a larger time out space created by very large storage cabinets. At no time were we without options, and none of the options involved calling the police.

 

Yeah, that's an extreme example, but I don't see why a child would be allowed to rage unrestrained and why the police are involved so easily.

 

In a typical school setting, I would expect to see an IEP define exactly what measures would be used to restraint an out of control child. If there is no IEP, their should be disciplinary measures in place for this type of thing while parents are called to pick up their child immediately. The child needs to be taught that that kind of behavior is completely unacceptable. By calling the police, the child now has the parents' sympathy because they were treated so appallingly when the focus should be on the child's behavior and how to ensure it doesn't happen again.

 

ETA: I see it as either a lack of training that stems from integrating special needs students into the regular classroom (with teachers who aren't properly trained in how to deal with special needs kids) or from lack of discipline at home and at school.

 

Sort of same here. Dd and i know how and when to restrain ds. Thankfully its rare these days, but it does happen. This was the first thing taught to me by a behavior therapist when he was young.

 

This is also another reason he didnt go back to regular school. The school refused to set up an emergency plan for him because he behaved so well, just like he does at home until he has a meltdown. He was becoming more violent everyday after school and if something had happened, he would hace been cuffed.

 

But ive learned that even doctors are afraid of the word restraint. His last dr did not want to help us get a new stroller strap but had no problems referring him to a hospital.

[AmyontheFarm]

I have no problem with the school calling the police.

 

One of the reasons we started homeschooling this year is because our son's Educational Assistant in the spec ed classroom was being outfitted from her ears to her ankles in Kavlar. Yeah, the stuff police use to stop bullets. Apparently, a young person was coming to our school who liked to bite - for blood. He felt he was a vampire and had already placed one EA on the permanently disabled list because of the damage he did to her. Because he had "served" his time at a school for troubled children he was free to return to the general population, his parents moved into our school district and he was slated to start in October. We left the school in September. Best move we ever did.

[Mimm]

Allergies? I really doubt the girl's violent raging tantrum was caused by allergies. Also, from the sound of it, the concern was for the safety of the people around her. Even a girl that age can seriously harm somebody if she breaks a window or something, so it probably wasn't feasible for them to continue trying to talk her down. And if their policy is to cuff everyone they bring in, I'm not going to fault them for following it.

 

I know someone who says her son is allergic to artificial preservatives. She says that if they slip up and he gets something he's not supposed to have, he rages out of control. He becomes "a totally different person", to use her words. He is normally a very high energy but happy kid. So, yeah, I could see it being an allergy thing. Or any other number of explanations. I think it's sad that the mother seems to be in denial. I get that sometimes you are so used to a situation that you aren't seeing it for what it is, but I would hope that your child being handcuffed by the police after tearing up her classroom would be a wake up call.

 

On another note, maybe she's one of those mothers out there saying, "Oh, you homeschool? I couldn't stand to be around my kid all day..." ;)

[Jann in TX]

A few years ago I would have thought that the actions taken by police and school were outrageous. I would have suggested a better discipline policy for the deprived school district. Poor student!

 

Now that I've witnessed a child like that first hand-- I say the school acted appropriately-- I wish our school would have done that!

 

My youngest dd was subjected to such a student when she was in 1st grade. This student was MAINSTREAMED into the regular classroom. The student had daily meltdowns-- and often violent ones. School told teacher (a friend of mine) to keep the door closed when student got loud. Teacher often had bruises and cuts because of the violence-- IF she could get in the proper position to restrain the child the student settled down eventually... luckily no students were harmed (other than witnessing abuse, violence and hearing just about every cuss word imaginable). All of this unfolded before another parent let us know-- dd thought it was NORMAL... but felt sorry for the girl. DD begged NOT to be removed from her classroom--it was a hard decision for us to make as parents. DD actually saw that this child was a person with a problem-- and she even invited her to her birthday party (and the girl came and was a MODEL child=thank goodness!!! (I did insist that her grandmother stay at the party)-- it was the first party the girl had ever been invited too.

 

The student in our case has a terrible past-- full of neglect, emotional and physical abuse... sad sad story....

 

Fast forward 3 years. This girl still has occasional meltdowns--but they are more controlled. She is on medication and is in therapy. I doubt she will ever be normal--but she is functioning. She claims dd is her 'friend'-- dd would not exactly say that--but dd is friendly towards her and seems to really understand her...

[chiguirre]

When she goes back to school next year, I hope they have a Behavioral Intervention Plan in place and put her in a class where there are adults trained and authorized to restrain her. It's far, far more traumatic for her to have the police called than to have trained staff on hand to deal with her special needs.

[jamajo]

That's the issue here, though. The police were the only ones legally allowed to restrain her, and she was a danger to the other kids. I don't see where the school had much choice.

 

:iagree:

[Kathryn]

That's the issue here, though. The police were the only ones legally allowed to restrain her, and she was a danger to the other kids. I don't see where the school had much choice.

 

:iagree: I completely agree with what happened and would be absolutely fine with it happening to my violent-tantruming high-functioning autistic child. Yes, he's "special," but if he's going to get along with people in life, he needs to learn that violent behavior is completely unacceptable, no matter how mad you are that the teacher said you have to draw an apple and not Mario, or whatever randomness sets off the tantrum. He was diagnosed over a year ago and we are still on a very long waiting list for any type of behavior help. My cousin was exactly the same (he got in trouble for his violence in K) and it wasn't dealt with. He's spent most of his adult life in prison.

[KirstenH]

I don't see a problem with it, in the slightest. What I found odd, though, was (according to another article I read: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/04/17/police-handcuff-georgia-kindergartner-for-tantrum/?test=latestnews) the officers gave her a Coke to calm her down. :confused1: HUH?!?? My children (6, 4, 2) haven't ever had caffeine, but I think it is pretty safe to say that a Coke would NOT ever calm them down!

 

My guess is she has brain chemistry issues and couldn't have stopped the behavior if she tried. ADHD kids are given stimulants and caffeine to 'calm them down' all the time.

[pitterpatter]

The police giving her a soda is my favorite part. :001_rolleyes:

[wonderchica]

Restraint is actually widely allowed in schools. Disability Scoop has a whole section on it:

http://www.disabilityscoop.com/education/restraint-seclusion/

 

Here is a quote from an article about a survey conducted by the Department of Education-

"The new statistics come from a survey of 72,000 schools, representing 85 percent of the nation’s students, that was conducted by the U.S. Department of Education. In all, 38,792 of the students represented in the survey were physically restrained by an adult at school during the 2009-2010 academic year. The vast majority of those restrained — 69 percent — had disabilities, even though students with special needs made up just 12 percent of the survey sample."

[Mommy_of_4]

I think they did the right thing for the student's safety and the safety of others.

[Danestress]

but most jurisdictions will have some kind of diversion program, so the child may not end up being determined delinquent. More likely, it will go to a court counselor who will work up a diversion plan that is partly designed to get help for the family by requiring mental health treatment, supervision, restitution, etc.

 

I think it sounds like the police did their job. The child was clearly dangerous and out of control. No teacher or other child should be forced to have shelves thrown at them, glass broken, etc, by a violent child. And no teacher should be asked to take on the legal liability associated with trying to physically retrain this child.

[Impish]

I don't see where the school had a choice. Many schools have a 'hands off' policy for teachers.

 

The kid was a danger to those around her.

 

Mom stating that she has 'mood swings' just baffles me. It sounds like this child has a problem of some sort, and Mom brushing it off as mood swings is not going to get her the help she needs.

[sewingmama]

She obviously has a problem and she probably can't help it. What are the parents supposed to do? KWIM? If it were me, I'd home school, but I realize not everyone can.

 

This is one of the major reasons I am homescholling my DD -the fear that one day she would end up in handcuffs at the police station for her violent tantrums (although I've never heard it done in Australia). My DD is not as violent as all that -she has never thrown anything at anyone - she tends to scream, kick the walls and doors and pull her hair out and strip her bed :(

 

I don't think we should assume the mother/parents are automatically the cause/to blame. Just because the mother seems indifferent doesn't mean she doesn't know there is a problem. We have taken my DD for a few assessments since she was 2 years old but are continously told -"She's too young to make a firm diagnoses" or "She is too normal we can't diagnose her" of "Shes just being 2,3, 4, 5" :glare:

 

We've had so many proffessionals tell us there is nothing wrong with her that DH and I have become pretty indifferent to her tantrums. We basically shrug them off now as "just her being her". Nobody will help us so we just do what we can to cope ourselves. We have no idea what triggers her -she melts down over the stupidest, randomest things. There are so many signs she has Aspbergers but she is so high functioning that professionals are not seeing the subtle signs that DH and I are seeing -we keep getting the brush off that we are "making a big deal out of nothing".

 

Anyway - I think this story is sad and I hope she gets the help she needs.

[ssavings]

I don't see where the school had a choice. Many schools have a 'hands off' policy for teachers.

 

The kid was a danger to those around her.

 

Mom stating that she has 'mood swings' just baffles me. It sounds like this child has a problem of some sort, and Mom brushing it off as mood swings is not going to get her the help she needs.

 

:iagree:

 

Yes.

[SKL]

If the teachers weren't forbidden from doing logical things to nip these problems in the bud, we would probably not be having this discussion. Someone should have been allowed to take her by the hand (or carry her if necessary) to a safe place where she could get over herself without hurting anyone or anything. And then she could be referred for an evaluation of some sort.

 

I really think that parents should have to agree that if they are leaving their kid with other adults, the other adults have the right to take certain physical actions if certain lines are crossed. (I'm not talking about beating, but safely restraining should be OK.)

 

At least one of my kids has been bitten in KG by a child who is a chronic behavior problem. I'm not one to overreact, but it's a little irritating that that child's rights are more important than my kid's right to not be physically harmed.

[Lovedtodeath]

 

It is certainly a sad situation, but this child needs far more help than the school can give her.

The whole system is broken. If people weren't in the habit of using schools as a daycare or clinic then this might not be as big of a problem. My taxes pay for the school no matter what I do, so why wouldn't I use the school as a daycare or clinic? and round and round we go. Edited April 18, 2012 by Lovedtodeath

[Lovedtodeath]

This is one of the major reasons I am homescholling my DD -the fear that one day she would end up in handcuffs at the police station for her violent tantrums (although I've never heard it done in Australia). My DD is not as violent as all that -she has never thrown anything at anyone - she tends to scream, kick the walls and doors and pull her hair out and strip her bed :(

 

I don't think we should assume the mother/parents are automatically the cause/to blame. Just because the mother seems indifferent doesn't mean she doesn't know there is a problem. We have taken my DD for a few assessments since she was 2 years old but are continously told -"She's too young to make a firm diagnoses" or "She is too normal we can't diagnose her" of "Shes just being 2,3, 4, 5" :glare:

 

We've had so many proffessionals tell us there is nothing wrong with her that DH and I have become pretty indifferent to her tantrums. We basically shrug them off now as "just her being her". Nobody will help us so we just do what we can to cope ourselves. We have no idea what triggers her -she melts down over the stupidest, randomest things. There are so many signs she has Aspbergers but she is so high functioning that professionals are not seeing the subtle signs that DH and I are seeing -we keep getting the brush off that we are "making a big deal out of nothing".

 

Anyway - I think this story is sad and I hope she gets the help she needs.

:grouphug: yep

[leeannpal]

In this case, I would say it's completely justified. She was not just ripping down paper. She THREW a SHELF. If anyone had tried to restrain her (besides police), then the family would be filing abuse or assault charges...guaranteed. The schools are not allowed to discipline anymore. Putting her behind a door would have been "false imprisonment".

 

Sorry, the U.S. is way too litigious to do anything other than call the police nowadays. It's sad, really.

:iagree:This is a local story for me. the child was definitely being a danger to herself, the other children and the teachers/administration. Adults have to be very careful about touching children in any way in a school setting in today's world. It is certainly a sad situation, but this child needs far more help than the school can give her.

[swellmomma]

This is one of the major reasons I am homescholling my DD -the fear that one day she would end up in handcuffs at the police station for her violent tantrums (although I've never heard it done in Australia). My DD is not as violent as all that -she has never thrown anything at anyone - she tends to scream, kick the walls and doors and pull her hair out and strip her bed :(

 

I don't think we should assume the mother/parents are automatically the cause/to blame. Just because the mother seems indifferent doesn't mean she doesn't know there is a problem. We have taken my DD for a few assessments since she was 2 years old but are continously told -"She's too young to make a firm diagnoses" or "She is too normal we can't diagnose her" of "Shes just being 2,3, 4, 5" :glare:

 

We've had so many proffessionals tell us there is nothing wrong with her that DH and I have become pretty indifferent to her tantrums. We basically shrug them off now as "just her being her". Nobody will help us so we just do what we can to cope ourselves. We have no idea what triggers her -she melts down over the stupidest, randomest things. There are so many signs she has Aspbergers but she is so high functioning that professionals are not seeing the subtle signs that DH and I are seeing -we keep getting the brush off that we are "making a big deal out of nothing".

 

Anyway - I think this story is sad and I hope she gets the help she needs.

 

Exactly. I have been accused of being indifferent to ds's mood swings, or when he used to run away, or the meltdowns etc. Nope, I am not, but when it is a regular occurance and you are told by the dr's etc that the child is actually just fine and you are over reacting about it it makes it pretty hard to jump up and down upset about it.

 

Reading this thread was hard because there seems to be an aweful lot of finger pointing at the family as being the cause. Do I think the school was justified in this instance yes. Would it be upsetting if it was my child? Of course, and my knee jerk reaction as a mom would be to be angry with the school and police. I know kids that age can be violent. Ds13 was put on antipsychotics for the first time at age 3 when he held his 2 year old sister up to a wall with a knife at her throat because he wanted a toy. Sadly now that he is older and more dangerous we can not get any medications for him.

 

Both he and dd12 has meltdowns in school. Not to the extent of this child in the article. But ds bounced a block off of another child's head, and dd caused her K teacher to be out on medical leave with back injuries (not because of something dd did directly, but she would not comply so the teacher would physically pick her up and move her and 1 time she did she threw out her back). I would have been furious in the moment if the school called the police instead of me. BUT once the dust had settled I would have seen that it was the best course of action for all concerned. It would likely come across that I was indifferent or not taking my kid's issues seriously etc and that would be completely false.

 

Pointing fingers and blaming the mother, or the family as a whole saying they aren't doing their job as a parent, or worse are the actual cause of the issue is not fair since we do not know the whole story of the home life. We only know what was reported about the school situation. We don't even know what set off the tantrum in the first place. And yes that makes a difference to me.

 

When dd was in 1st grade I got a call from the school that I was to come get her, she was being suspended. When I got there I heard dd had called her teacher a B*tch and slapped her. I was appalled and of course agreed dd needed to be out of the classroom for the specified period of time. It wasn't until dd had been lectured by me that I came to find out the reason she did that. The teacher had grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her down teh hallway (on her bottom, not simply walking dd by the wrist), while telling her what a brat she was and that there was no way she was going to miss her coffee break, that dd needed to be in the music room with the rest of the kids. DD had wanted to stay and do more math. Instead of calling the principal or another teacher for help she did that to my daughter. When they got to the music room and the teacher let go after twisting dd's arm in an effort to toss her into the room is when dd jumped up and said/did that. Was dd in the right. No. But should she be punished for it that way? No I didn't think so. I ended up having to take dd to the dr due to the shoulder pain to find the teacher had caused some muscle strain on the shoulders. The school let dd come back without completing the suspension, though for the last few weeks of school she did most of her work in the office not the classroom. I was not in a position to pull her right away, like now I was a single mom, but I had a fulltime dayjob and needed to make arrangements for a job with hours that worked for homeschooling. Which I did and brought both kids home at the end of that year a few weeks after the incident.

 

All of that to say we don't know what set the child off. Perhaps she usually only has "mood swings" with lesser tantrums, but something triggered a full blown one this time. We don't know.

 

I think the school was justified in calling the police, but I will not go so far as to assume the worst of the family because of the child's tantrum. I know all too well what it is like to be blamed for your child's behaviour even when you are doing all you can to make sure they get help etc.

[Spryte]

It's allergy season. I wonder if the little girl is on Singulair. That med caused violent tantrums in DS. Frightening tantrums, in which he had no control, and could not have stopped if he tried. Our pediatrician thinks that med should be blackboxed... Although she didn't mention that to us until after the allergist took him off of it. Zyrtec has a similar, though less dramatic, effect on him, but I've read that other kids get violent on that one as well.