swellmomma Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Life is too dang hard right now. It is one thing after another, and the brief phone call I had with my sister tonight topped it all off. I had mostly cut off ties with her, we would speak on the phone approximately once every 2-3 weeks now. I was trying to keep that much in contact because of my nephew and the kids wanting a relationship with their aunt and uncle and cousin. Tonight'scall sealed the deal for severing any and all contact as long as she remains married to her husband. It hurts to know that I am so hated by him that her helping me out right now would strain the marriage. Finances are beyond tight right now because one of my daycare kids quit without notice so I was suddenly short $500 this month. Then the oven door shattered today. All the groceries I have basically have to be cooked in the oven which I can not do right now. Child support is on Thursday and I am flat broke until then. If the oven door never broke we could have made it through. Now almost all the remaining food in the house is uncookable until it is fixed. So I asked her if she would loan me $20 to buy fruit and bread to feed us until Thursday and I would pay her back then. She said she would call me back and let me know. Well she called tonight to tell me that if she helps me it will put too much strain between her husband and her. I can get if she didn't want to loan it. I would accept it no problem. I would get and accept if her budget did not permit it right now (Though I know that between the 2 of them they make between 6-8K a Month). I do not make a habit of asking her for help, I look after my own but this was extenuating circumstances. So to be told that loaning me $20 for 2 days would cause trouble in her marriage was very hurtful. It is the last straw. He has caused rifts between us before, the reason I have cut back on most contact was because he went running to her claiming I was telling him to hit my nephew. I never ever said that. My nephew stole a candy from grammas as his parents both looked at him saying no. He put it in his mouth and chewed it up fast before he got a 3 minute time out. DD4 was in the room and went to copy him, I reminded her of the consequences of direct disobedience and theft in our family - a spanking. I never ever said a word to bil or to anyone else about how they discipline my nephew. I spoke to my daughter about the consequences if she followed nephews lead like she was starting to do. Anyway, sister took his side and called me up and flipped. previous to that was him stepping in when she and I were having a disagreement at a family gathering. I had a peive of left over cake for ds8 (then 3) and he ripped it out of my hands, tossed it in the sink and told ds he couldn't have it. It was the peice ds had been eating for dessert and gramma had wrapped it up for him. Between that fight and the above one, he left my sister and nephew. eventually after counselling they got back together, but I still think he is a douche and today comments proved it. Anyway, on top of how stressfull everything else is right now, and pmsing, and shattered appliances that the company has told me tonight is not their problem. This was the straw that broke the camels back. I have been cleaning and crying all night. I only have a major pity party like this once or twice a year. Tonight is one of those nights. I will get over it and persevere. I will find a way to feed the kids for the next 2 days and find a way to get the oven door fixed. I will figure out all the rest of the things stressing me out, I always do. I will get over knowing that it is time to end all contact with sister and nephew as long as bil is in the picture for my own emotional health. But for tonight I am having a pity party and wallowing in woe over the state of my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 I'm so sorry. Hang in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MotherMayI Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: I am sorry you are having a tough time. You probably have already thought of it- do you have a crock pot that you can get creative with to make your meals? I hope you fill the spot in your daycare soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted March 13, 2012 Author Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: I am sorry you are having a tough time. You probably have already thought of it- do you have a crock pot that you can get creative with to make your meals? I hope you fill the spot in your daycare soon. I do, it is a matter of figuring out what to do with it. I did solve tomorrow night's dinner issue. I had planned to make pot pie tonight and couldn't but I can make a stew in the crock for tomorrow. But the rest of the food I had left for the week was things like fish sticks and chicken nuggets and spaghetti squash. The squash was for me the nuggets and fish sticks were because we just had camp this weekend, have scouts tomorrow, guides on wed and a bonus scouts meeting on thursday so it was my cheater foods that I have been saving in the freezer. Those I do not think would turn out very good in the crock. I have to talk to the company again tomorrow and see if the cooktop is safe. They told me tonight not to use the stove or oven at all until it was fixed, but if I can use the top I can cook pasta or something. It is only 2 days. I can do anything for 2 days. I just don't wanna, I would rather sit and cry tonight. kwim It will get better, I just tied an extra knot in the rope to hang on to ;) BUt for tonight I am throwing a pity party and wishing I could afford chocolate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MotherMayI Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 I do, it is a matter of figuring out what to do with it. I did solve tomorrow night's dinner issue. I had planned to make pot pie tonight and couldn't but I can make a stew in the crock for tomorrow. But the rest of the food I had left for the week was things like fish sticks and chicken nuggets and spaghetti squash. The squash was for me the nuggets and fish sticks were because we just had camp this weekend, have scouts tomorrow, guides on wed and a bonus scouts meeting on thursday so it was my cheater foods that I have been saving in the freezer. Those I do not think would turn out very good in the crock. I have to talk to the company again tomorrow and see if the cooktop is safe. They told me tonight not to use the stove or oven at all until it was fixed, but if I can use the top I can cook pasta or something. It is only 2 days. I can do anything for 2 days. I just don't wanna, I would rather sit and cry tonight. kwim It will get better, I just tied an extra knot in the rope to hang on to ;) BUt for tonight I am throwing a pity party and wishing I could afford chocolate. Awww...:grouphug: again. Having the cooktop available would be great- you could heat the fish sticks and chicken nuggets easily. Sometimes we need a good pity party! I wish I could send you some chocolate and maybe a Mikes?! Hope tomorrow is a better day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug: Use your pity party to lick your wounds and be ready to fight back tomorrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KirstenH Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 I hate to suggest this, but do you have a microwave? I know microwaved food isn't all that appetizing, but you can cook all of that stuff, even the spaghetti squash in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug: Could you cook something at a neighbor's house? I'd share my oven with my neighbor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraciWA Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Are you sure you can't use the oven. My ds broke the front of ours as well. It still works fine. Ugly, but usable. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.Balaban Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Are you sure you can't use the oven. My ds broke the front of ours as well. It still works fine. Ugly, but usable. :grouphug: My only worry would be since she has young children in the house. But other than that, I would think it would work fine-- just like using the Oven with the door open... Anyway, I know things will get better. :grouphug: I am sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwickimom Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 You can still use the oven!!!! Just keep the kids away. My friends broke over a year ago and they use it all the time DO you have a baby fence to put in front of it? or block it off with chairs?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted March 13, 2012 Author Share Posted March 13, 2012 You can still use the oven!!!! Just keep the kids away. My friends broke over a year ago and they use it all the time DO you have a baby fence to put in front of it? or block it off with chairs?? It is along a major pathway through the house. The way it is set up is my kitchen has the "u" shape of the fridge, counter, sink, counter. Directly across the the left arm of the "u" is the stove. so to go from the kids bedrooms to teh kitchen table or bathroom etc you generally walk between the stove and the counter. They could detour through the livingroom and take the other kitchen entrance I guess. Now that the saftey glass is gone that oven door will get very hot, so blocking it off will be important. I didn't think it would be usable at all in the state it is currently in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Check your PMs. things are a bit tight for us right now, w/the move and everything, but for pity sakes, $20 won't break us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 I am so sorry. :( It sounds like the relationship with your bil was toxic. You may find that you're less stressed by cutting all ties for awhile. Can you pick up a bag of dried legumes for your crockpot? You can usually get a bag for very cheap, and they cook real nicely in the crockpot. Things WILL get better for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted March 13, 2012 Author Share Posted March 13, 2012 Thank you everyone for the hugs and kind words. I am feeling much better this morning after a couple hours of sleep. The tears are gone and I am ready to take on the world again. Once the company is open again I will call back about the oven door. In the mean time if it is actually okay and just a matter of heat I will block it off for today. I also plan to have a few words with the Man upstairs. We are supposed never given more than we can handle, yesterday that almost proved to be a lie. THat's cheating imo, there should not be so mcuh piled on someone that an eternity in h*ll feels like it would be a welcome reprieve. After a couple hours of sleep and the kindness of board members things are looking much better in the light of day. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Can you go to a friend's house and cook the food, then reheat it later in the microwave? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 If your stovetop is ok, I have cooked frozen chicken nuggets in the frying pan before. I imagine you could do fish sticks the same way. If the cooktop is not good, the 365 Crockpot lady has a recipe for chicken nuggets in the crockpot. She made hers from scratch, but cooking them this way would work for the frozen ones too. http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/2008/09/crockpot-chicken-nuggets-recipe.html She also has pasta-in-the-crockpot recipes that are really kid-friendly! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dustybug Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 First of all :grouphug::grouphug:. I know what it's like to be in a position like yours and I know it's hard. I would definitely cut contact, at least for awhile for your sake and your children's. Your BIL sounds like a bad influence on everyone. Secondly, please know that the Bible never says that we will never get more than we can handle, but it DOES say that HE will help up carry our burden if we lean on Him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Can you go to a friend's house and cook the food, then reheat it later in the microwave? That was my thought too. Or else see if there's a church that will let you use their kitchen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 I suggest you put out a request on freecycle, or check the free section of your local craigslist for an oven. If that doesn't work, figure out ways to cook your food on the stove-top or microwave, go to the food pantry for bread, and apply for emergency food stamps if you might qualify. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 I suggest you put out a request on freecycle, or check the free section of your local craigslist for an oven. If that doesn't work, figure out ways to cook your food on the stove-top or microwave, go to the food pantry for bread, and apply for emergency food stamps if you might qualify. Food stamps don't exist in Canada. I don't know if she'd have the ability, or the gas to pick up a stove...and in a small town, the food pantry may be a drive as well. She'll be ok for a bit now ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted March 13, 2012 Author Share Posted March 13, 2012 I suggest you put out a request on freecycle, or check the free section of your local craigslist for an oven. If that doesn't work, figure out ways to cook your food on the stove-top or microwave, go to the food pantry for bread, and apply for emergency food stamps if you might qualify. I am in Canada there is no food stamps, and there is no food pantry for bread. We generally make ends meet but this oven door threw me for a loop. I am so careful with our budget that every last penny is spoken for, so to have a major repair, and/or new groceries needed sooner than planned created a problem. Normally even that would have been an annoyance but okay if I had more sleep and Austin wasn't having issues keeping his mood stable after returning from camp etc. Then adding in my sister's comments. Any one of those things sucks on their own but at managable but all at once was just too much to deal with and my thinker stopped thinking and went into a full poor me pout. I am back on my feet today, my thinker is back to thinking and we will be okay. I generally pride myself on being a resourceful person, I am very good and figuring things out and making sure my kids are provided for and have extras etc. This dang oven just threw me. I have food, just not easy to make without an oven food. Grocery shopping thursday will be for LOTS of fruit, veggies, yogurt, bread etc that don't need to be cooked in the oven. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 At least Thursday is soon! I am sorry all of this happened. On the oven door thing, I will chime in and say that the oven can be used without the glass. We did for the better part of 6 month once when the glass broke in our rental about 9 years ago. Ugly, but it was not even especially hot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyFL Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted March 13, 2012 Author Share Posted March 13, 2012 At least Thursday is soon! I am sorry all of this happened. On the oven door thing, I will chime in and say that the oven can be used without the glass. We did for the better part of 6 month once when the glass broke in our rental about 9 years ago. Ugly, but it was not even especially hot. That's good to know. I don't care about ugly. I am a single mom and used to ugly to get things cheap lol I just don't want kids getting burned etc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 (edited) :grouphug: The glass on our oven door shattered to pieces once, but we were able to use the stove top without issue until the glass was replaced. Edited March 13, 2012 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 :grouphug: As somebody who has lived months with out a an oven thanks to frigidaire. I learned most things can cook on the stove, crockpot or griddle. Cookies, bread baking and cakes not so much but anything else I figured out how to cook. Or I found meals we could eat. You can do this. Even a toaster oven for the fishsticks would work. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 As someone whose oven broke in October, I have managed without quite well. Is there a thrift store where you can pick up a toaster oven? Even a cheap one from a large discount store will help. I have even grown to love this one so much that I don't feel the need for mine to be repaired. If I have some money I would send it to you, but alas, all I can do is send you some cyber support. LAra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather R Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 My sister-in-law has an stove she was going to post on kijiji because she was recently given one with a ceramic top. But the old one worked perfectly well. I told her about your exploding oven door, and she offered to give it to you for free. It is in Edmonton, though. I know you have moved out of the city, but I'm not sure how far. PM me and maybe we can work something out to get it to you. Heather Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasRachel Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Do you have a roaster oven? One of those big portable things? I have a friend that used one for six months until she could get a new oven. Or a toaster oven? :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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