Catwoman Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I have a friend whose twins died shortly after birth, and she was told by a family member that they understood what she was going through because they lost their cat a few month before. :glare: :confused::001_huh: Not the same thing. I would hope that they just felt so incredibly awkward that they didn't know what to say, so they said the first thing that popped into their heads. They probably thought about it later and felt like complete fools. Sometimes, it's really hard to know what to say, and people try to find some way to let the person know that they empathize with them, instead of sticking with the tried-and-true but somewhat less personal, "We're so sorry for your loss." At least I hope they didn't really think the situations were comparable. :eek: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I used to love my cats so much before I had kids. They meant the world to me. I remember the love I had for them was so fierce. I just adored those cats. But once I had kids I was shocked at how unimportant the cats became. I've always felt guilty about it, but I didn't have anything left at the end of the day to give to the cats. I almost never pet them after the babies arrived. Those poor cats would sort of slink around the house looking sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Amen! If you have Killer Circus Monkeys, I'm passing judgement on your parenting skills of said monkeys. :tongue_smilie: I wasn't saying that I have Killer Circus Monkeys; perhaps I was speaking hypothetically. Of course, I'm not saying that I don't have Killer Circus Monkeys, either... :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OH_Homeschooler Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I have a friend who calls herself a dog-mom and has called her dogs her furbabies. But, they have tried to have kids for many years without success. I am lucky that I have kids. She is sad that she doesn't. Does it really matter how she thinks of herself? I agree, you just never know what someone is going through. I also know that I had no clue what motherhood would be like before I had kids. I don't think I ever compared my pets to kids but I also remember feeling maternal towards my pets. In fact, when my dog got hurt one morning (more scared than injured) before I had kids, when I was soothing her I felt for the first time that maybe I COULD be a mom. But really, motherhood just has to be experienced IMO to fully "get" it. I HATE the term "furbaby" by the way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyinND Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I have a friend who calls herself a dog-mom and has called her dogs her furbabies. But, they have tried to have kids for many years without success. I am lucky that I have kids. She is sad that she doesn't. Does it really matter how she thinks of herself? :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Steph offers one reason ... But that's neither the same person referred to by the OP nor do those without "real" children have the monopoly on saying inadvertently hurtful things to things to the recently bereaved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirth Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I wasn't saying that I have Killer Circus Monkeys; perhaps I was speaking hypothetically. Of course, I'm not saying that I don't have Killer Circus Monkeys, either... :tongue_smilie: But if you did, you most certainly should not homeschool (or carschool) them but send them to private school -- Mariannova has a fledgling business in this area. She is an educator, and it really does take a licensed and insured professional to deal with kcm. Not just anyone can do it! (Whether kcm really need to be socialized with other kcm remains debateable ... ask MN, or her car detailer.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Well. I guess I'm a little nuts. My dog is... well, my baby. My daughter calls her her sister, family refer to me as her mommy, and I love her. A lot. I had her before I had my daughter. And she was my "support" during emotional and medical crises. When I was writhing in pain so bad I was throwing up, my dog laid on the bed with me, following me back and forth to the bathroom. When all I could do was cry for days, it was my dog's fur that I cried into. I don't know. I guess I understand how a pet can become very important to a person. We never know what the person may be missing, wanting, hurting from, etc..... (Although, if the pet takes precedence over your human child, there's a problem...) And people that have no children that compare having animals to having children really just don't understand, but did any of us understand what it meant to have children until we actually had them? :iagree: I felt the same way about my dog. She was there for me through thick and thin, through good times, bad times, illnesses, and deaths. I don't know that I considered her to be my daughter, but I was definitely her mom. :tongue_smilie: After I had my ds, I realized that a dog is not the same as a child, but before then, that dog meant more to me than most people did, so I guess I can sort of understand a childless person viewing their dog with considerably more significance than other people might view as "normal." They don't have the experience of having a real child, or their children have grown up and moved out of the house, so I don't see any harm in them transferring some of that love and affection to a pet, instead of sitting around the house feeling lonely. Who are we to decide whether or not their feelings are valid? As long as they aren't harming anyone else, where's the harm in it? Even if you don't understand their attachment to their pet, play along with them, tell them their little Mr Fluffypants is adorable, and forget about it. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 It's weird, and very sad too, but my grandmothers on both sides were much better moms to their animals than they were to my parents. I didn't realize it as a kid, but I'm sure it hurt my mom and dad to see their own mothers lavishing the love and attention that they never got as kids on those nasty, fat, smelly dogs. No doubt my grandmas were missing something in their lives, but I just don't care. Maybe that's why my folks were always very clear that pets were pets and people were people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 (edited) - Edited November 10, 2021 by prairiewindmomma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 When I was pregnant with my first cat, I used to play her Mozart. Oh, wait. I didn't do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I nearly flipped a few weeks ago when my mother wanted to include my sister's pets on our family genealogy (our copy hung on our all that my boyscout aged son and I have been doing together). All I could do was point out that there wouldn't be enough room.... OK, that's taking it waaaaaaaay too far. :glare: "Here's Grandma, and Grandpa, and Uncle Ted and Aunt Lorraine, and Mr Whiskers......" :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 But if you did, you most certainly should not homeschool (or carschool) them but send them to private school -- Mariannova has a fledgling business in this area. She is an educator, and it really does take a licensed and insured professional to deal with kcm. Not just anyone can do it! (Whether kcm really need to be socialized with other kcm remains debateable ... ask MN, or her car detailer.) :iagree: It goes without saying that Mariann is our resident WTM go-to person when it comes to Killer Circus Monkeys. It's a highly specialized field and I, for one, am grateful that she's here for us. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Yes I know some people who are like this. By people, I mean women. They talk about how hard it is when their animal is sick and they know just how I feel! I am sure it sucks to have a dog throwing up, I am just not sure how it compares to my DS in the hospital on oxygen for a week. :confused: Just smile and nod :lol: Ha. It's nutso. No woman is a MOM to a dog, ferpete'ssake! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 When I was pregnant with my first cat, I used to play her Mozart. Oh, wait. I didn't do that. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 When I was pregnant with my first cat, I used to play her Mozart. Oh, wait. I didn't do that. And that's exactly why she's not a musical prodigy right now. You totally dropped the ball on this one. I can only imagine your shame. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 They sound really smart, so hopefully they'll get scholarships for college. Sounds like at least one of them has a future in the sciences. :D You must be so proud. How did they score on their CAT tests? :tongue_smilie: :lol: They got 100%!!!! They were feline fine that day! :tongue_smilie: I am soooo proud. They can also do cat scans. Definitely STEM material. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I'm a bit dumbfounded that people refer to their pets as their sons/daughters. I've heard people call them their babies, but I always thought that was just a term of endearment. You know, like how some people refer to their cars or what-have-you as their baby. My cats are my babies, but they're cats, not people. Although, some days I prefer them over people. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 When I was pregnant with my first cat, I used to play her Mozart. Oh, wait. I didn't do that. :lol: Which didn't you do??? :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 It drives me crazy too when people compare their pets to kids. For example, if I mention how sick one of my kids has been and then the other person says "Oh, I know....little Spotty was sick last week too. It was awful." Seriously? So you laid around with little Spotty and held the puke bucket for him, washed your hands a million times so you didn't catch it, monitored his fever, alternated Tylenol and Motrin, woke up at night to check his fever, and listened to him hacking away, wishing you could do something for him? Really? REALLY? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 :lol: They got 100%!!!! They were feline fine that day! :tongue_smilie: I am soooo proud. They can also do cat scans. Definitely STEM material. lol This is better than Prozac. Bonus: I've been working my abs laughing so hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 This is better than Prozac. Bonus: I've been working my abs laughing so hard. No nasty side effects either! Although I have been getting more cat scans than usual as I look at them and laugh. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHomeScientist Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Are they of mandatory schooling age? Are you using real curriculum or some tree-huggy BS curriculum? ;) Our 11-month-old Border Collie puppy just completed Honors Squirrel Chasing and is about half way through AP Calculus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maus Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I hereby apologize to all the people who had to look at the pictures of our kitties doing "cute" things before we had children. :D We were married 10 years before I finally was able to get pregnant. Our kitties did help fill that void. And, yes, we did refer to each other as "Mommy" and "Daddy" in reference to our cats. (Ok, they are still with us, and we still do. As in, "Get off my lap, I'm cuddling DD2. Go find Daddy.") I hope we didn't ever equate them to other people's children, and they did drop drastically in importance and status when our human children entered the family. Hmm, you know, we did have one vet who insisted in filling out the paper with the cat's full name, including the family surname.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LND1218 Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I would hope that they just felt so incredibly awkward that they didn't know what to say, so they said the first thing that popped into their heads. They probably thought about it later and felt like complete fools. Sometimes, it's really hard to know what to say, and people try to find some way to let the person know that they empathize with them, instead of sticking with the tried-and-true but somewhat less personal, "We're so sorry for your loss." At least I hope they didn't really think the situations were comparable. :eek: Unfortunately, they were serious...they did equate the two. Now they didn't have children yet, so I understand the not understanding what it's like to have kids when you don't have them. But still... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAutumnOak Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I once met a lady who started to tell me, very sorrowfully, about how her son had died the previous year. She asked if I'd like to see a picture of him, and produced a picture of a cat. :confused: :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lcelmer Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 And this is cute, 'til the furry grands get preferential treatment over the human ones (with allergies & asthma:glare:). Totally with you on this... I can't even go itno certain stores anymore because they are cat laden. And more and more people are treating their animals like children, bringing them grocery shopping, etc with no regard for the other humans in the store who might be HIGHLY allergic. How horrid to lose a place in the FAMILY to an animal.. :-( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LND1218 Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 When I was pregnant with my first cat, I used to play her Mozart. Oh, wait. I didn't do that. My dd plays Mozart for her pets...:D I used to love my cats so much before I had kids. They meant the world to me. I remember the love I had for them was so fierce. I just adored those cats. But once I had kids I was shocked at how unimportant the cats became. I've always felt guilty about it, but I didn't have anything left at the end of the day to give to the cats. I almost never pet them after the babies arrived. Those poor cats would sort of slink around the house looking sad. I have seen this happen with so many of my friends. Once they have kids, the pet becomes unimportant. It's almost funny because the shift is often so drastic and obvious to everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellalarella Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I shouldn't let people's "furrbabies" bother me in the sense that their choices should steal my joy and contentment, but it does bother me very much (in the sense that I am greatly concerned) that so many people in our society elevate a dog or cat to the worth of a human being. Humans have a soul. We are eternal beings. Cats and dogs are enjoyable, entertaining, attractive creatures of some intellect that do not have a conscience. But maybe I am just bitter about the fact that our couch still smells like cat urine. If only I had gotten kitty the therapy he needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wy_kid_wrangler04 Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 What if I homeschool my pets? homeschool for dogs :D and for higher education :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Amen! If you have Killer Circus Monkeys, I'm passing judgement on your parenting skills of said monkeys. :tongue_smilie: I've known ppl like this...who call themselves Mommy and Daddy to animals, get offended if their animals aren't welcome EVERYWHERE, and Heaven forbid that you refer to your pets as 'pets'. They're furry people, man! We had to rehome Wolf's elderly cat when Tazzie was a toddler and I was pregnant w/Princess. She would lay in wait for him to go walking by, launch herself out from behind furniture, knock him over, and start trying to shred his face. And use his bed as a litter box. I was told that the cat was here first, our first loyalty should be to her, and asked if I would rehome our child if he became difficult. :001_huh: Animal was freaking dangerous to my toddler, Heaven only knows what she would have done to another baby in the house, but yeah, that's an equal comparison! good for you. and if the cat had seriously injured tazzie so that it made the papers, you'd have people screaming why didn't you get rid of the animal. Just yesterday was another news story of a toddler mauled by the family dog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Well I was thinking about the idea of losing one's family place to an animal. I have kids and I have animals. But I really can't see getting rid of my animals because someone is allergic that doesn't even live in my house. I would consider it a bit sad that a grandkid couldn't visit in my house but I would do my best to meet such a grandkid in a neutral place. But to get rid of an old cat who has lived with me for over ten years because of a grandchild who comes maybe once a year for a few days? It might mean the death of the cat and I really couldn't do that. I don't have any grandchildren yet and none of my kids are married even. But I am just thinking about the future. Hopefully none will have allergies that bad regarding pets and even if they had some allergy, I would hope it could be tamed with antihistamines. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Humans have a soul. We are eternal beings. Cats and dogs are enjoyable, entertaining, attractive creatures of some intellect that do not have a conscience. According to your religious beliefs, which don't happen to be mine. I wouldn't ever want to have to choose between a child and my dog. Although the child would "win," it would be indescribably painful to me. My dog is not a human, but she means as much to me as most people do. She's my best friend. Animals are also vulnerable. I believe that, once you take one into your life and your home, it is a moral and ethical responsibility to care for it to the very best of your ability. Anything less is inhumane. I don't personally believe I'm any more "eternal" than my dog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Yes I know some people who are like this. By people, I mean women. They talk about how hard it is when their animal is sick and they know just how I feel! I am sure it sucks to have a dog throwing up, I am just not sure how it compares to my DS in the hospital on oxygen for a week. :confused: Just smile and nod :lol: :lol: When my dog is throwing up I'm wishing I didn't have a dog. I don't do that with my kids. :D In their defense though (those who don't have kids), they really just don't get it. We had our little yorkie before we started having kids, and I joked around then that she'd always be 'my oldest child' :ack2: ...after DS was born, she was quickly relegated to just being a dog. :D Before that, I just didn't get it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 What if I homeschool my pets? :iagree: I walked into the living room one day to see my oldest, who was sitting on the floor with our cat Bob and wooden letter blocks saying, "Bob, your name starts with the letter B...that is this letter" and holding it in front of his face. Then, she turned to me and said,"Mom, I'm teaching Bob to read!" :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I do joke that cats are great starter kids. they are good training for teenagers ;). I did get a book with the title of "all cats have aspergers". (there is a companion entitled "all dogs have ADHD". - these were written by a professional to explain the disorders to non-affected children.) My cat is fascinated by moving water. She stares at drains and taps unattended drinks just to watch the ripples. Maybe she is really into fluid mechanics and is pondering her thesis? there was a funniest home video of the cat repeatedly flushing the toilet that won the $100,000 prize. I'm sure they used some of that to pay their water bill. . . . . Now that I think about that - that is something an aspie would do. just wanting to watch the water swirl. I have seen this happen with so many of my friends. Once they have kids, the pet becomes unimportant. It's almost funny because the shift is often so drastic and obvious to everyone. but did they realize they shifted? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I almost never pet them after the babies arrived. Those poor cats would sort of slink around the house looking sad. I don't blame them. And I guess I don't get it. I had cats before I had kids. I loved the cats. Once I had our daughter, I still loved the cats. I still found time and energy to pet them, because I loved them. I enjoyed their company. I knew they loved me and needed me. I cried like a madwoman when each one died. I still miss them and get teary looking at pictures now and then. We now have two kids, two cats and a dog. I've never really bonded with the cats, because they both prefer my husband and son. Still, I care for them, pet them, tell them how wonderful they are, make sure they get good medical care, keep their favorite foods and treats in the house, clean their little box, etc. I took responsibilty for them. I owe them that level of care and concern. The dog, though, wow. She's my buddy and near-constant companion. (It would be constant if she had her way!) My love for my kids has never taken away from my love for my pets. Nor has it absolved me of my responsibility to take care of them the very best way I know how. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorganClassicalPrep Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 According to your religious beliefs, which don't happen to be mine. I wouldn't ever want to have to choose between a child and my dog. Although the child would "win," it would be indescribably painful to me. My dog is not a human, but she means as much to me as most people do. She's my best friend. Animals are also vulnerable. I believe that, once you take one into your life and your home, it is a moral and ethical responsibility to care for it to the very best of your ability. Anything less is inhumane. I don't personally believe I'm any more "eternal" than my dog. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 :iagree: I walked into the living room one day to see my oldest, who was sitting on the floor with our cat Bob and wooden letter blocks saying, "Bob, your name starts with the letter B...that is this letter" and holding it in front of his face. Then, she turned to me and said,"Mom, I'm teaching Bob to read!" :lol: My daughter read aloud to our guinea pigs for hours at a time. She used to carry one or the other of them around in the bib pocket on her overalls while she was doing schoolwork and would always explain to them what she was doing. We used to say we had the best-educated piggies in town. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbkaren Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 (edited) Pets are great! I love them. We have 4 beloved dogs and are owned by 2 cats. But if there's ever a question of choosing my child versus my pet, I will kill the pet with my bare hands, happily. There's just no comparison and it blows my mind that to some people they'd have a problem deciding. Edited January 17, 2012 by bbkaren Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbkaren Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 :iagree: I walked into the living room one day to see my oldest, who was sitting on the floor with our cat Bob and wooden letter blocks saying, "Bob, your name starts with the letter B...that is this letter" and holding it in front of his face. Then, she turned to me and said,"Mom, I'm teaching Bob to read!" :lol: lol! At moments like that, dangit! My cellphone is always in another room. Adorable... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juelle Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 A friend who would love to have children, but whose dh wouldn't :confused:, sent a Christmas card last year with a picture of herself and dh, signed Susan, Joe and Tucker. She had to send out a facebook post later to explain that Tucker is their dog , and he wouldn't cooperate in the photoshoot. She had to assure friends and family that they hadn't missed the arrival of a real baby. Poor thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 According to your religious beliefs, which don't happen to be mine. I don't personally believe I'm any more "eternal" than my dog. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 :iagree: I walked into the living room one day to see my oldest, who was sitting on the floor with our cat Bob and wooden letter blocks saying, "Bob, your name starts with the letter B...that is this letter" and holding it in front of his face. Then, she turned to me and said,"Mom, I'm teaching Bob to read!" :lol: My son had this book, and used to read one of the stories to the dog every night. He did this for almost 2 months. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I don't blame them. And I guess I don't get it. I had cats before I had kids. I loved the cats. Once I had our daughter, I still loved the cats. I still found time and energy to pet them, because I loved them. I enjoyed their company. I knew they loved me and needed me. We had two cats when the children were born and now have three (one passed away three years ago). I cannot imagine a world without cats, even with kids in the house. However, one reason I like cats is their independent nature and, though indoor, we don't infantilize our cats. We share our space, and we treat them rather like guests. This spring we'll be getting a dog because DH sometimes says stupid things when he's half-awake (he doesn't even like dogs). While I'm not dreading it -- and I do like dogs -- this isn't something we would do except for the kids. You cannot treat a dog like a guest, and the relationship takes more work and deliberation on the part of the owner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 My SIL and a "friend" got into this on Facebook. "Friend" de-friended her over it. She had taken the dog thing too far comparing herself to a mom, and then told SIL that she was what was wrong with the world because she has so many kids. It was ugly..... I treated my dog like a baby until we had a baby. I wanted a child so much, the dog filled the void until we were ready. I know many people who can't have children who treat their animals like babies. I don't think that having a dog is anywhere near the work or commitment having a child is, but if someone has no kids, they either don't get it or they are filling a void. Either way, I just ignore it and don't let it bother me; orbit really gets annoying, I can block their posts or leave the room. This. I have a friend who loves her cats because they were with her through some tough times, etc. I can see where she feels the way she does about them (though they still drive her nuts, and she has no plans to get any more after they die). And in cases of infertility, I can definitely see where a dog or cat would be filling the void. I get that people have loving attachments to their pets. I have been understanding when my sister and grandparents chose to have pets over us getting to spend time with them in their homes (our family is severely allergic and asthmatic). I just have a hard time when Christmas rolls around and I'm expected to give gifts to their pets or when I am expected to attend their birthday parties (held outdoors so we can attend). Um, okay.... I love the person and want to support them, but I don't have a relationship with their pets. I do it to support the person..... I nearly flipped a few weeks ago when my mother wanted to include my sister's pets on our family genealogy (our copy hung on our all that my boyscout aged son and I have been doing together). All I could do was point out that there wouldn't be enough room.... :svengo: That's nuts. Birthday parties? Family genealogy? If people want to feel that way about their pets, fine. That part isn't what is annoying. It is the pushing OTHER people to feel that way about their pets that is silly! Well I was thinking about the idea of losing one's family place to an animal. I have kids and I have animals. But I really can't see getting rid of my animals because someone is allergic that doesn't even live in my house. I would consider it a bit sad that a grandkid couldn't visit in my house but I would do my best to meet such a grandkid in a neutral place. But to get rid of an old cat who has lived with me for over ten years because of a grandchild who comes maybe once a year for a few days? It might mean the death of the cat and I really couldn't do that. I don't have any grandchildren yet and none of my kids are married even. But I am just thinking about the future. Hopefully none will have allergies that bad regarding pets and even if they had some allergy, I would hope it could be tamed with antihistamines. This baffles me. I'm sorry. I just can't imagine it. :001_huh: I know not all families are like ours, but sometimes I get a little peeved when my MIL (who had several cats) wouldn't vacuum the couches, chairs, etc, trying to make it more pleasant for those of us allergic to cats. She lives 10 minutes away. We see them often. On random days it isn't a big deal, but Thanksgiving and Christmas, when they knew we would be out there all day? DH and I are both allergic to cats, and DS6 has asthma. I'm not saying she has to get rid of them (though I would happily run them over for her), but the thought of not making your house welcoming to your own family just boggles my mind. :confused: And I know not all families are like ours in distance, but IMO once a year for a few days is a very small estimate of time that you'll see a grandkid. I certainly would hope to see mine more often - heck, my grandparents see my kids more often and they live 17 hours away!! :glare: they are good training for teenagers ;). I did get a book with the title of "all cats have aspergers". (there is a companion entitled "all dogs have ADHD". - these were written by a professional to explain the disorders to non-affected children.) That made me think of the movie 'UP' - "Squirrel!" :lol: there was a funniest home video of the cat repeatedly flushing the toilet that won the $100,000 prize. I'm sure they used some of that to pay their water bill. . . . . Now that I think about that - that is something an aspie would do. just wanting to watch the water swirl. but did they realize they shifted? The question wasn't directed at me, but I KNEW my priorities had shifted, big time. I probably noticed more than outsiders. Pets are great! I love them. We have 4 beloved dogs and are owned by 2 cats. But if there's ever a question of choosing my child versus my pet, I will kill the pet with my bare hands, happily. There's just no comparison and it blows my mind that to some people they'd have a problem deciding. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 However, one reason I like cats is their independent nature and, though indoor, we don't infantilize our cats. We share our space, and we treat them rather like guests. This spring we'll be getting a dog because DH sometimes says stupid things when he's half-awake (he doesn't even like dogs). While I'm not dreading it -- and I do like dogs -- this isn't something we would do except for the kids. You cannot treat a dog like a guest, and the relationship takes more work and deliberation on the part of the owner. The word "infantilize" is key, I think. I coo over my pets and love on them and they love on me back. In some ways I'm their "Mommy" in the sense that I nurture them and they rely on me for food and shelter. But - it would be unhealthy for the animals if I didn't treat them as the dogs and cats they are. Of course it would be unhealthy for my older kids if I treated them as infants at their ages even though I coo over them and love on them and even annoy them by calling them my "babies".:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Unfortunately, they were serious...they did equate the two. Now they didn't have children yet, so I understand the not understanding what it's like to have kids when you don't have them. But still... I was trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, because it was so hard to imagine that they might be serious. I wonder if the woman's dh suddenly died, she would tell people that she was sad, but she'd already been through this kind of tragedy when the cat passed away, so she would be able to handle it... :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Humans have a soul. We are eternal beings. Cats and dogs are enjoyable, entertaining, attractive creatures of some intellect that do not have a conscience. Sorry. Totally disagreeing with you on this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cricket Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I shouldn't let people's "furrbabies" bother me in the sense that their choices should steal my joy and contentment, but it does bother me very much (in the sense that I am greatly concerned) that so many people in our society elevate a dog or cat to the worth of a human being.Humans have a soul. We are eternal beings. Cats and dogs are enjoyable, entertaining, attractive creatures of some intellect that do not have a conscience. But maybe I am just bitter about the fact that our couch still smells like cat urine. If only I had gotten kitty the therapy he needed. :iagree: Here in Arizona we have quite a few retired people. Many live in their own communities that don't allow children or people under 55. Some of them dote on their tiny little dogs but have zero patience for children. It's rather sad. I sometimes wonder how they treat their grandchildren. We have a family member who always adores her cats. While growing up, her children definitely felt less loved than the cat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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