J-rap Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I'll try and summarize this briefly. My husband's family has a lovely lake cabin, solely owned by his mother. Her seven children are completely taking care of it now, including about half of the expenses. (MIL takes care of the other half.) It requires a lot of upkeep, however, and continual financial support. Years ago, my husband quietly opted out of his eventual ownership of it. (It will eventually legally be passed on to the seven children, who will then be equal owners of it.) We had five young children at the time, and my husband was a new attorney, a very busy, devoted dad, and it was really much more than we wanted to take on. Unlike others in the family, we also rarely went up there. We prefer to take vacations in a variety of places rather than going back to the cabin every time. So, it was a relief for him to not have to feel responsible for going up there every other month to keep it up, paint, mow the grass, as well as handle the financial needs that kept coming up. We probably go up there once every other year for a few days, and we pay "rent" when we go ($75/day). Recently, we got an email from the sibling who is handling the finances of it, saying that property taxes have increased so much, she is asking for each sibling to pay a share. I was just going to write the check, but then my husband said no. As some of you may know, my husband had a massive stroke one and a half years ago; he was affected in the same way Gabriella Giffords was affected, if you are familiar with her situation. (The senator who was shot.) My husband has great difficulty in speaking right now, and so he can't exactly say what he's trying to tell me, and even his thinking isn't always perfect yet. So, ultimately, I have to make this decision. I think what my husband is trying to tell me is that since he opted out of ownership, this is not our responsibility to pay. Yet, if his sister knows this, why would she send an email? I hate to appear petty and selfish. Also, my husband is not a selfish man; he is very giving and generous. Another thing to consider is that his mother was a help to us during part of my husband's rehab. For 6 months, our family lived in her home while he was in therapy in her city. (We are from a small town so we went to the metropolitan area for awhile for rehab.) Maybe this would be a nice way to thank her. (Although she will never know who gave what; her thinking is foggy, and she doesn't pay attention to things like this.) Do I go along with what I think my husband is trying to tell me, or should I pay it anyway, as a way of thanking his mother (even though she won't know), but also to keep the peace among siblings. Does this set a pattern for future, similar situations? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: you have a lot going on. :grouphug::grouphug: if it were me, i wouldn't pay it because a) given dh's medical issues, money may well become quite scarce (maybe it already is) b) the sister who asked knows what you are going thru and knows that you opted out of inheriting it c) your dh said "no"... so i might send an email back reminding her of both things and that right now you need every cent you have..... it is possible that if she hasn't seen him recently she just thinks that the rehab solved everything. you have enough to worry about right now, so i'd encourage you to just decide one way or the other and be done with it. :grouphug::grouphug: ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Is your husband still going to get part of the cabin when your MIL passes away? Or did he completely opt out of the whole thing? I think it would depend on that. If he is getting a share of the cabin, I'd write the check. If not, I'd explain to SIL that you all have no responsibility toward the cabin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 What a tough situation! Does your husband reliably say no when he means no and yes when he means yes? I ask this because I had an uncle who could not speak after a stroke, and his indications of yes and no were also confused at times. If you think he really means no, I urge you to explain the situation to him thoroughly, maybe on two different days. Often people like this can understand far more than they can say. Then ask him again what he wants you to do. This time you can know that he is giving this his full attention, and you can do what he says. After all, this is his family. I'm not sure which way I would go on this one. My inclination would be to say 'no' to be consistent, but be watchful about whether there is some way I need to help my family that does not complicate the ownership issues. It sounds like this would set a precedent that might be tricky later on, though. The only way I can think of to avoid that would be to offer to pay more than $75 per night to stay there (that sounds like a very discounted rate). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMA Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 (edited) Stay out of it even if your dh may inherit later. The inheritance is another issue and should be dealt with at that time. Paying taxes on it when you don't own it is complicated, especially when the owner didn't ask you directly and won't know about it. It creates ill feelings and regret later. In fact, passing on the cabin to seven people is too complicated. My friend asked her five kids for years to take on her summer house taxes and they all refused. Now that she is a widow, she is selling the house. She asked the kids to buy her out at a nominal price but no one wants to pay the high taxes. ETA: If the house is too expensive for the owner to take on the property taxes, then perhaps it is time to sell it instead of trying to put the burden on those who don't own it. Perhaps someone should suggest this. Also, I agree about no going against the husband's wishes because it's his family. Edited January 9, 2012 by LMA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I wouldn't want to go against dh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 :grouphug: That is a tricky situation. When your dh "quietly opted out" of ownership of the cabin years ago was it pretty clear that your family expected to have no part of the property when the time came? From what you say in your post I am guessing that it was made clear, especially since your family has not been part of the upkeep and from the fact that you pay rent when you do go to the cabin. Based on this, I would say no to the property taxes on an ONGOING basis. But perhaps for this one time around, if you have the means available (which you may not given your husband's situation) I would consider saying yes as a thank you to your dh's mother, even though she may not be aware of the help. But I would make it clear that it is not something your family will be doing in the future, and even gently suggest it may be time for the family members to discuss the future of the property and the responsibility of those who are invested in keeping/maintaining and financing it. Personally, I find it strange your husband's sister would send such a request given the fact your family opted out and also considering his medical issues. But perhaps she just hit "send to all" or something like that without really thinking about it? I feel for you . . . :grouphug: I am an only child and my parents move between their house near Chicago and their second home in another part of the country, about 1,000 miles away. The second home is beautiful, in a beautiful location, but I dread the day it may become mine. I don't really want it; it is too far away to make upkeep and travel possible for us. And we love to camp and go to different camping areas much closer to home. It is my parent's dream home; not mine, kwim? I hope you can resolve your situation without any hard feelings . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Would helping hurt your budget significantly? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shinyhappypeople Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 No, I wouldn't pay. I'd gently remind the sister that you've opted out of ownership and ask if she still feels that $75/night for cabin rental is still fair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cera Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 If your husband opted out of eventual ownership and has been paying rent when you go to the cabin rather than helping pay the expenses and upkeep that the eventual owners will pay I would not pay the taxes. The taxes are a part of the general expenses and upkeep. I would expect that the daily rental rate would go up to reflect the higher overhead costs the owners have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 If your dh already opted-out of the cabin ownership, I think it would really muddy the waters for you to chip in on one of the expenses. I would send a return note politely reminding that you & your dh aren't a part of the arrangement any more, and aren't expecting to have ownership of any part of mom's lovely cabin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I *might* pay some this year as a thank you to Mom for the help, if you could. I would go over again that you aren't going to be inheriting it and pay when you visit. I do think it is a fair idea to revisit the rent for daily visits. I would want to make clear that this was a one time thing though, I wouldn't want to be paying for something and then feel obligated to keep it up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacy in NJ Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 (edited) If you pay it now you're putting yourself on the hook for future payments. I wouldn't set that precedent. Since a sibling is asking for money, my assumption is that this payment will off-set their (siblings) financial obligations. I'm not sure that you're really paying back a favor to your MIL by doing that - will that benefit her? I would consider a onetime payment directly to your MIL as a "gift". Or, better yet, think of a favor or gift you can give her that really expresses your gratitude to her for her assistance through your difficult time. I would also consider sending money to your SIL if your financial situation is secure and with the caveat that it is a one time event. I would make the one time event part really clear. Edited January 9, 2012 by Stacy in NJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 If your dh already opted-out of the cabin ownership, I think it would really muddy the waters for you to chip in on one of the expenses. I would send a return note politely reminding that you & your dh aren't a part of the arrangement any more, and aren't expecting to have ownership of any part of mom's lovely cabin. :iagree: It sounds like you aren't expecting to reap any of the benefits of cabin ownership, so you also shouldn't be paying for it. Since you rent the cabin for a daily fee, you are covering your use of the cabin in that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I would not pay part of the sibling share. If you want to thank his mother, pay part of her half. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ester Maria Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 If he opted out of the privileges (to the point of paying for a stay there!), he also opted out of the duties. He may decide to make a one time exception to help, because family helps family, but as a continuous or frequent arrangement, no way, and better not to set up the precedent in the first place if it can be avoided. Ultimately it is his decision and I would not go against your DH's wishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jplain Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 No, I wouldn't pay. I'd gently remind the sister that you've opted out of ownership and ask if she still feels that $75/night for cabin rental is still fair. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I would not pay part of the sibling share. If you want to thank his mother, pay part of her half. :iagree: maybe just send his mother a thank you check that she can use for that or for whatever she wants. But only if it is financially feasible for you at this time. Letting all of you stay with her for 6 months was very nice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 (edited) I would assume the sibling who requested the payment had forgotten that you opted out and pay rent on the rare times you use the place. Send a nicely worded e-mail that reminds of your arrangement. Assume the best. It was just forgotten. Sending payment will set a pattern of expectation and will make a future e-mail (after payment(s)) stating your preference to stay out of it seem weird. ETA: My sister inherited a similar situation when she married. 6 kids, one cottage at the lake, and an inheritance. I don't know the details of how it all shook out but my sis and her dh are sole owners of the cottage. The taxes are outrageous but they rent it out during the summer and use that money for taxes, repairs, etc. They are very generous though and let family stay out there (when it is unoccupied) for free. I said that to suggest that if the taxes are too much for the owners perhaps they could rent it. Edited January 9, 2012 by silliness7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 It's not selfish or ungenerous to stick to the agreement that has already been established; the taxes are not your responsibility. The fact MIL helped a great deal is a separate issue, and I wouldn't include it in your reasons to consider when making the decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Maybe you could ask your husband if he'd like to help his mother out with her portion of the taxes as a thank you for her help. Then you could let the sister know that he's already contributed through his mother. As he has no interest in the property, I would think he'd want to avoid doing it this year as it might become an annual expectation. If the sister asks, you could always tell her that with the increase your husband felt he wanted to help his mother with her end as the others are contributing to their half. Not sure how that sounds though ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Years ago, my husband quietly opted out of his eventual ownership of it. (It will eventually legally be passed on to the seven children, who will then be equal owners of it.) . We probably go up there once every other year for a few days, and we pay "rent" when we go ($75/day). Recently, we got an email from the sibling who is handling the finances of it, asking for each sibling to pay a share. I was just going to write the check, but then my husband said no. I think what my husband is trying to tell me is that since he opted out of ownership, this is not our responsibility to pay. Yet, if his sister knows this, why would she send an email? I hate to appear petty and selfish. Also, my husband is not a selfish man; he is very giving and generous. Another thing to consider is that his mother was a help to us during part of my husband's rehab. For 6 months, our family lived in her home while he was in therapy in her city. (We are from a small town so we went to the metropolitan area for awhile for rehab.) Maybe this would be a nice way to thank her. (Although she will never know who gave what; her thinking is foggy, and she doesn't pay attention to things like this.) Do I go along with what I think my husband is trying to tell me, or should I pay it anyway, as a way of thanking his mother (even though she won't know), but also to keep the peace among siblings. Does this set a pattern for future, similar situations? his sister may or may not remember that you dh has opted out of ownership responsilbilities of the cabin. if you pay "rent" when you go to the cabin, that should absolve you of any ownership responsilbilities/liabilities as well especially as I assume your dh's name will never be on the title. have you asked your dh if that is what he is thinking? yes, it will set a future precedent that sister will expect you to pay - even if your dh has reduced income and increased medical expenses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 If your dh already opted-out of the cabin ownership, I think it would really muddy the waters for you to chip in on one of the expenses. I would send a return note politely reminding that you & your dh aren't a part of the arrangement any more, and aren't expecting to have ownership of any part of mom's lovely cabin. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freesia Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 If your husband opted out of eventual ownership and has been paying rent when you go to the cabin rather than helping pay the expenses and upkeep that the eventual owners will pay I would not pay the taxes. The taxes are a part of the general expenses and upkeep. I would expect that the daily rental rate would go up to reflect the higher overhead costs the owners have. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 If the others don't pay rent, then I would not pay taxes. I wouldn't want to set the precedent. I'd probably say something like, "We have opted out of ownership, but will understand if the rent has to be raised." and just don't go if they get stupid about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nukeswife Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I wouldn't pay it especially if you will view it as something for his mom for her help. If you want to do something for his mom send it directly to her, not the sibling asking for him to share in the taxes. If he's not involved in any other way, they shouldn't expect him to help with the taxes, and I would just remind the sibling that your husband opted out. I agree with those that if said if you pay it now, it may set a precedent that you'll pay it each year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Renters don't pay property tax. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 If your husband opted out of eventual ownership and has been paying rent when you go to the cabin rather than helping pay the expenses and upkeep that the eventual owners will pay I would not pay the taxes. The taxes are a part of the general expenses and upkeep. I would expect that the daily rental rate would go up to reflect the higher overhead costs the owners have. :iagree: We have a similar situation w/ a parent owned lakehouse. Dh and I have talked about it numerous times. We can't afford 1/3 of the taxes, and think it's time to sell it. His family (mom and bros) aren't at that point yet, but we are in agreement that there is no way we can help. Your dh opted out; you pay rent, therefore you don't owe them anything other than signing over his ownership when it comes time. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebastian (a lady) Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 We have a similar situation with a family cabin which belongs to a group of cousins (we caretake). They finally set up a corp to handle it and the grandkids all had a chance to buy in for "shares". If you opted out, that meant you didn't use the cabin. If you were closer and wanted to use it more (it's really cool, in the middle of a ghost town), you could buy more shares. Some of the grandkids bought several shares, some only one and some none at all. I love it because we get paid on time now and we know what work is okayed to do without having to contact five families. The feeling of the group of cousins was that if you didn't want anything to do with it, that was fine, but those that DID want partial ownership needed to pay the bills! Due to an oversight, it was almost sold for taxes--don't want that to happen! Might I suggest that the family look into something like that? I think there are other advantages to putting the property into a trust or a corporation, such as removing it from the MIL's assets (if medical assistance had to be calculated) and taking it out of the inheritance equation. I think it's a really good idea to suggest this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In2why Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 You said your husband "quietly" opted out. Does that mean that the siblings don't know and Mom just collects expenses from the others and the 'rent ' when you guys go? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted January 10, 2012 Author Share Posted January 10, 2012 I just want to thank everyone for your wise advice. I was gone all yesterday after I first posted this, so couldn't respond until now. I am continually bowled over by the wise advice I get on this board. There were so many good suggestions. Thank you. In answer to a few: the reliability of my husband's yes and no's is pretty good now, as long as I really take the time to explain everything carefully, which I did. However, his thinking is sometimes slightly off, especially when it comes to money, I notice. As far as does everyone know in his family about his opting out of ownership: I assume they do, but I guess I don't know for certain. It was a different sibling who manages this overall, and I think it was more her who he spoke with about it initially. But still, given the fact that he has been uninvolved in the cabin upkeep, etc., over the years since then, makes me think that everyone is aware of it. Also, donating to his mother's half instead: that is a good idea. We did send her a good-sized check at one point to thank her for allowing us to stay at her home, although she sent it back. She wanted to help us, and did not want us to pay her for her help. Can we afford to donate a little now, as a one-time gift? Yes, we probably can right now. Although our time of having "enough" may be nearing an end soon. We are draining our savings to cover rehab and college expenses, and soon will be living off of disability only, although we are fortunate in that my husband DID take out a good disability plan only one month before his stroke... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 I would say no you should not pay a share. Dh opted out. Dh is disabled. Everyone knows both of these facts. When you did use the plac you paid rent. You should not in anyway obligate yourself to this. I don't vn think you should help with MIL's share. That could be misinterpreted. Now, that you have added information in your latest post, if I were in your position I absolutely would not give any money toward this. If you are living off savings and disability, you really can't be flexible with expenses that will not care for and benefit your family. it's not selfish to see it his way . It is your reality. Everyone of of your dh's siblings should know your dh is disabled. I think it was selfish to even ask you for payment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 I would not pay it. I would quietly remind sister in law that your dh opted out long ago. She may have forgotten and just needs that reminder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 I wouldn't pay because I'd respect what my husband decided, assuming he has the ability to understand the matter. He decided to opt out of ownership and he's right to opt out of paying a share of upkeep, because of the risk that this would become a pattern. Ultimately it may be nice to help out, but it wouldn't be fair given that this will enrich the siblings disproportionately. That said, if your family has been to the cabin recently, it may be appropriate to agree to send a one-time payment reflecting higher rent for the recent stay. But I'd make sure it was clear that this is a one-time payment. Try to keep emotion out of it. Something along the lines of "since we are not future owners of the cabin and considering health and financial concerns, we will not participate in the allocation of cabin costs. However, we will agree to an increase in rent should we use the cabin in the future." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 If the cabin expenses are getting difficult to afford, it is time to face that situation on its own merits. If you make the payment, then you are part of the reason it is "affordable." (and I agree with what everyone else said about setting precedents, and that this is no help to your M-I-L) Taxes go up. Insurance goes up! It if is not affordable this year, what will make it affordable next year? If all the siblings TOGETHER find the tax increase burdensome this year, it will CONTINUE to be burdensome in future years. And it sounds like you have plenty of future monetary needs. Any payment you're considering making should be slated for those needs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacy in NJ Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 You have a generous heart to want to help out your IL's, but since your own financial situation is somewhat insecure, don't pay now. Your dh is probably right. I just want to thank everyone for your wise advice. I was gone all yesterday after I first posted this, so couldn't respond until now. I am continually bowled over by the wise advice I get on this board. There were so many good suggestions. Thank you. In answer to a few: the reliability of my husband's yes and no's is pretty good now, as long as I really take the time to explain everything carefully, which I did. However, his thinking is sometimes slightly off, especially when it comes to money, I notice. As far as does everyone know in his family about his opting out of ownership: I assume they do, but I guess I don't know for certain. It was a different sibling who manages this overall, and I think it was more her who he spoke with about it initially. But still, given the fact that he has been uninvolved in the cabin upkeep, etc., over the years since then, makes me think that everyone is aware of it. Also, donating to his mother's half instead: that is a good idea. We did send her a good-sized check at one point to thank her for allowing us to stay at her home, although she sent it back. She wanted to help us, and did not want us to pay her for her help. Can we afford to donate a little now, as a one-time gift? Yes, we probably can right now. Although our time of having "enough" may be nearing an end soon. We are draining our savings to cover rehab and college expenses, and soon will be living off of disability only, although we are fortunate in that my husband DID take out a good disability plan only one month before his stroke...[/QUOTE] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 I wouldn't want to go against dh. I wouldn't, either. It's his family, so I think you should abide by his decision. (And anyone who knows me is aware that I never say that you should obey your dh "just because he says so," but in this case, I think he's entitled to make the decision.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Try to keep emotion out of it. Something along the lines of "since we are not future owners of the cabin and considering health and financial concerns, we will not participate in the allocation of cabin costs. However, we will agree to an increase in rent should we use the cabin in the future." :iagree: Honestly, I find it somewhat amazing and inconsiderate that you would even be asked to contribute extra money, considering your dh's health situation. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 I just want to thank everyone for your wise advice. I was gone all yesterday after I first posted this, so couldn't respond until now. I am continually bowled over by the wise advice I get on this board. There were so many good suggestions. Thank you. In answer to a few: the reliability of my husband's yes and no's is pretty good now, as long as I really take the time to explain everything carefully, which I did. However, his thinking is sometimes slightly off, especially when it comes to money, I notice. As far as does everyone know in his family about his opting out of ownership: I assume they do, but I guess I don't know for certain. It was a different sibling who manages this overall, and I think it was more her who he spoke with about it initially. But still, given the fact that he has been uninvolved in the cabin upkeep, etc., over the years since then, makes me think that everyone is aware of it. Also, donating to his mother's half instead: that is a good idea. We did send her a good-sized check at one point to thank her for allowing us to stay at her home, although she sent it back. She wanted to help us, and did not want us to pay her for her help. Can we afford to donate a little now, as a one-time gift? Yes, we probably can right now. Although our time of having "enough" may be nearing an end soon. We are draining our savings to cover rehab and college expenses, and soon will be living off of disability only, although we are fortunate in that my husband DID take out a good disability plan only one month before his stroke... I think the bolded part indicates that you should not be donating a little to their cause right now. Since you rent the cabin at a daily rate, and have bowed out of any ownership, it is rude of the siblings to expect you to chip in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 I may have missed this when I skimmed the thread, but I would get something in writing where your DH formally relinquishes his share of inheriting the cabin and is released from all expenses related to it. Verbal contracts are very hard to prove in court and many families have wound up in bitter disputes over things that were supposedly "understood" by all parties but never put onto paper. What if God forbid a guest or service personnel got injured on the property and decided to file a lawsuit against the family? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenade Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 I wouldn't pay it, and I'd restate that my family is opting out of cabin ownership. Some years ago, I inherited a portion of land from my Grandfather. Unfortunately, my portion was tied to the other 5 or 6 portions of it that other relatives inherited, and it was not easy to sell without a lot of complications. I live in NC, and this property was in NY; basically, my family would never use it. I signed my portion over to my brother, free of charge, since he already had some property up there. Perhaps it was foolish of me, but I didn't want the hassle of it all, and I didn't want to support someone else's vacation with my tax payments. I've never regretted my decision, either. Years later, my brother did end up selling his portion outside of the family, and I still didn't regret this decision. Especially when my brother ended up getting some flak for it. Just not worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 I may have missed this when I skimmed the thread, but I would get something in writing where your DH formally relinquishes his share of inheriting the cabin and is released from all expenses related to it. Verbal contracts are very hard to prove in court and many families have wound up in bitter disputes over things that were supposedly "understood" by all parties but never put onto paper. What if God forbid a guest or service personnel got injured on the property and decided to file a lawsuit against the family? Based on the facts the OP stated, it appears the owner is her dh's mother. The siblings all pitch, but they are not co owners. Apparently, there is/was an understanding that the siblings would each inherit a portion of it at some point. However, that does not appear to be in writing. It does not appear that anyone recognizes that since the MIL is no longer "with it" the cabin may need to be liquidated for her care. This is another (much smaller) reason I would advise giving nothing. I think I read the OP say MIL does not know what's going on some of the time now. If that's the case how is it a nice gesture to pay her (MIL) taxes on property she may not enjoy, which might be best sold to care for her (MIL). MIL care beside the point. If MIL is the owner and there's no written agreement otherwise, there is no obligation for the OP to contribute and since she is living off savings she really has an obligation to her dh and dc not to contribute. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 If the others don't pay rent, then I would not pay taxes. I wouldn't want to set the precedent. I'd probably say something like, "We have opted out of ownership, but will understand if the rent has to be raised." and just don't go if they get stupid about it. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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