itsheresomewhere Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 (edited) I didn't grow up being invited to all kinds of kids parties (not birthday parties) like christmas, halloween, cookie baking, etc. Where we live this is normal. DD ( 5 yrs) was invited to a cookie baking party. She had to bring a baking pan and apron. So we go and apparently, we were supposed to bring a christmas gift for the child whose mom was having the party:001_huh:. Is that normal now? Seems kinda tacky to me but what do I know. Keep in mind, we exchanged gifts with the child for christmas earlier in the week. Thanks Update- How I found out about the gifts was when I dropped DD off for it and the mom said" Here is the table to put your gift." I asked as I knew nothing about this and she said it was on the back of the invite. Along with a list of suggestions for her DD. I don't remember seeing anything on it and still say it was just tacky. But it gets better- I go to get DD from the party and she comes out empty handed except for the baking tray. So I asked how was the cookie baking and the mom replies how cute it was for my DD to make cookies and donate them to her. :001_huh:. The mom then says that all the other kids were so moved that they donated their cookies to the her, too. This is group of 3-6 year olds. After we get home, I asked DD about it. Her reply is why did the mom keep all the kids cookies. She says she wanted to bring them home and was told no they stayed at her house. I did call another mom that I know who kid was there and asked her. She got the same story and her child was upset, too. So to me it seems that this mom has a nice plate of cookies the kids made her so she doesn't have to make cookies for her family christmas party on Monday. The kicker was the child of the mom was sick-running a 101 fever, chills and runny nose. I found that after I picked up DD. I don't think DD is going to anymore cookie baking parties there. Edited December 19, 2011 by itsheresomewhere Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myeightkiddies Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 It seems odd to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 if it wasn't a birthday party, then it's seems quite tacky. My kids have been to cookie decorating parties and Halloween parties and other nonbirthday parties. None of these involved bringing gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bassoonaroo Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Tacky. Our community has some parties like that. If I host, I tell them what I'd like them to bring, trying to have extras in case they forgot or didn't have whatever it was. Tuesday, we've got four families over here to work on gingerbread houses so we asked for each family to bring a kit or two, a batch of royal icing (the "glue" that holds it all on), and a tray to take home their creation(s). And, if they have extra candies or sprinkles, that's welcome too. I do not expect them to bring gifts for me or mine. The only thing I can think of tackier than expecting you to bring a second gift (to an activity, not a birthday party!!!) is that they did not prevent you from learning that they expected a gift. When someone goofs up and doesn't bring an expected gift, the hostess should do whatever it takes to keep her guest from being embarrassed about that -- so perhaps she should have shuttled the gifts they did receive to a hidden room and only opened them after the guests left. And, if you noticed that others brought gifts or if they were opened in front of you, the hostess should've gushed in front of others, "Tommy already brought Bobby a wonderful watercolor paint set a few days ago. He is simply loving it!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 Thanks. I thought it was odd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reign Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Super odd! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 I think parties like that are fun (though we never get invited to any because both me and my kids are shy and don't make friends easily) but I wouldn't take a gift to them. I'd bring just what the invitation stated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 It seems odd to me. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cera Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 That isn't the norm around here. We host a cookie/ornament making party every christmas and have never received gifts (and I have never expected it). Other families host easter, halloween, summer fun, etc parties and no gifts are taken to those either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 I don't think it's odd at all for other parents to bring a little gift for the hostess, though I realize it would make you feel awkward if you were the only one who didn't. I think it's very odd if the hostess said, "Hey, you were supposed to bring me a present." I think it's less odd if you mentioned it to the other ladies and they said, "Oh yeah, we always bring a present." It only seems "tacky" to me if the hostess let her demands be known. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 I think its odd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 It would have caught me off guard. :001_huh: I never think about hostess gifts because I wasn't raised that way. :blush: I probably would have offered to bring something for the cookies, but a gift wouldn't have crossed my mind. Is it possible the gifts the other kids brought were similar in purpose to the gift exchange you and the host had earlier in the week? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 And wouldn't you bring something for the mom, not the kid for hostess gift at this age? Someone asked not long ago about taking a present to a child hosting a sleepover so maybe things are changing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 I wonder if you were reading things wrong? It seems too odd to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 How did you find out that you were expected to bring a gift? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 It was tacky on multiple levels. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 It was tacky on multiple levels. :glare: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 It was tacky on multiple levels. :glare: :iagree: Why would you bring a gift for the kid? The mess this mom must have had to clean up - she deserved a man in a kilt on her doorstep. Weird! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmom2011 Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Very strange. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 That seems odd to me. Unless it was specified to bring a gift, I would have just thought it was a baking party and to bring stuff for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheApprentice Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 :001_huh: I don't get it.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted December 19, 2011 Author Share Posted December 19, 2011 Updated in the OP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Element Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 I wonder if you were reading things wrong? It seems too odd to me. :iagree: Is it at all possible that the gift was for either a gift exchange among the kids or to be donated to a charity? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Read the update. Bizarre to the nth degree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Odd and tacky, and after your update, the mom would be getting a not-so-pleasant email from me. That is not at all OK. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Totally odd and tacky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted December 19, 2011 Author Share Posted December 19, 2011 Odd and tacky, and after your update, the mom would be getting a not-so-pleasant email from me. That is not at all OK. I thought about that but I see this woman every day. I am chalking it up to a new lesson in tacky and the odd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 That was rude all the way around IMO. We go to a cookie decorating party with friends, and we always divide up the cookies. No gifts are ever discussed no matter where we do it. I don't think we would be going to anymore parties at that house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrspoch Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 That is extremely tacky and rude. And the mom lied to you about the "donated" cookies. That's not cool. I'm not sure that I would care that I had to see her every day, I think I'd have to say something. I'm sorry that both you and your daughter had to deal with that. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Strange and tacky. I've attended many cookie/ornament making parties (both as a guest and as the hostess) and I've never encountered the gift angle. I've never heard of leaving the cookies behind, either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Crazy town. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 I thought about that but I see this woman every day. I am chalking it up to a new lesson in tacky and the odd. Ugh. I think I'd still send a "polite" email about how the little kids were confused about how they didn't have their cookies and how there must have been some kind of miscommunication. I don't think I could let her off the hook that easily! I mean, it's one thing to be tacky. It's entirely another to defraud families and small children. At the very least, I'd want to see what she had to say about it. I'm sorry your daughter's disappointed about the cookies :( That's just not right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Update- How I found out about the gifts was when I dropped DD off for it and the mom said" Here is the table to put your gift." I asked as I knew nothing about this and she said it was on the back of the invite. Along with a list of suggestions for her DD. I don't remember seeing anything on it and still say it was just tacky. But it gets better- I go to get DD from the party and she comes out empty handed except for the baking tray. So I asked how was the cookie baking and the mom replies how cute it was for my DD to make cookies and donate them to her. :001_huh:. The mom then says that all the other kids were so moved that they donated their cookies to the her, too. This is group of 3-6 year olds. After we get home, I asked DD about it. Her reply is why did the mom keep all the kids cookies. She says she wanted to bring them home and was told no they stayed at her house. I did call another mom that I know who kid was there and asked her. She got the same story and her child was upset, too. So to me it seems that this mom has a nice plate of cookies the kids made her so she doesn't have to make cookies for her family christmas party on Monday. The kicker was the child of the mom was sick-running a 101 fever, chills and runny nose. I found that after I picked up DD. I don't think DD is going to anymore cookie baking parties there. :blink: :ohmy: Just when I think I've heard it all...:001_huh: Personally, I wouldn't be all into taking little children to a cookie-baking party anyway, but for sure, this woman wouldn't see me on her doorstep for anything.ever.in.this.lifetime. :grouphug: for your dd and the other victims. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted December 19, 2011 Author Share Posted December 19, 2011 :blink: :ohmy: Just when I think I've heard it all...:001_huh: Personally, I wouldn't be all into taking little children to a cookie-baking party anyway, but for sure, this woman wouldn't see me on her doorstep for anything.ever.in.this.lifetime. :grouphug: for your dd and the other victims. I thought I had heard it all too. I just never would have thought this was a bad idea. I originally thought the mom was brave to have the kids over to decorate cookies. Who knew. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dustybug Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 That is extremely tacky and rude. And the mom lied to you about the "donated" cookies. That's not cool. I'm not sure that I would care that I had to see her every day, I think I'd have to say something. I'm sorry that both you and your daughter had to deal with that. :( :iagree:I would definitely say something. And my children would NOT be attending anything else at their house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 How rude! All around! That woman has a lot of nerve! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Sounds like a bunch of crap to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anotherbrother Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Maybe you should drop of an Emily Post book as a Christmas present. I would never suggest that any one bring a gift to my home even for a birthday party. Obviously, they probably would, but that isn't the point. Even tackier is the fact that she attached a "wish list" along with the gift request. That would only seem acceptable for a baby shower or wedding gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starwarsmomma Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 (edited) I read the original post to hubby. His reply was NUTJOB! LOL Pretty much sums it up! I would NOT have brought a gift for the DD either-- no matter if I had noticed it or not. (if it was for a charity, that would have been different!) Scan in this invite! I would LOVE to see it! (and the back too!) I just cannot imagine how she worded it so that it wasn't tacky! HAHA Edited December 19, 2011 by joyfulheart Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 :001_huh: :001_huh: :001_huh: WT??????? Young kids invited to a party and leave with nothing? What a way to alienate all of your dd's friends. :svengo: Hey, I have an idea. I'll host a cleaning party. I'll get lots of little girls to come over and I'll show them how to clean a house, scrub toilets, stuff like that. Bring your own supplies and rubber gloves. ;) The woman was tacky, rude, and deserved to be called on it. Plus she has a fever!!! Hello!!! In close proximity with small children with developing immune systems. It's a week before Christmas, hmm, what's the average incubation period??? These are the times I'm glad to have a boy. They don't have hammering parties. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Ummm, did you know before this party that this woman was ettiquette challenged? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AHASRADA Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Sounds like she wanted some "slave labor" to do her baking and gift-purchasing for her :glare:. Seriously, she probably thinks she's so smart. Call it a party, ask for gifts (since it's a party), the kids "have fun" making cookies, and voila! She has homemade cookies to serve to her holiday guests, and doesn't have to spend so much time and $$ buying gifts for her dc. Why didn't we think of that? :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Extremely tacky. I would stay as far away from her as possible, and I think I would have to say something about her keeping the cookies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Sounds like a bunch of crap to me. :hat: I'm with Nakia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 It was tacky on multiple levels. :glare: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 I didn't grow up being invited to all kinds of kids parties (not birthday parties) like christmas, halloween, cookie baking, etc. Where we live this is normal. DD ( 5 yrs) was invited to a cookie baking party. She had to bring a baking pan and apron. So we go and apparently, we were supposed to bring a christmas gift for the child whose mom was having the party:001_huh:. Is that normal now? Seems kinda tacky to me but what do I know. Keep in mind, we exchanged gifts with the child for christmas earlier in the week. Thanks Update- How I found out about the gifts was when I dropped DD off for it and the mom said" Here is the table to put your gift." I asked as I knew nothing about this and she said it was on the back of the invite. Along with a list of suggestions for her DD. I don't remember seeing anything on it and still say it was just tacky. But it gets better- I go to get DD from the party and she comes out empty handed except for the baking tray. So I asked how was the cookie baking and the mom replies how cute it was for my DD to make cookies and donate them to her. :001_huh:. The mom then says that all the other kids were so moved that they donated their cookies to the her, too. This is group of 3-6 year olds. After we get home, I asked DD about it. Her reply is why did the mom keep all the kids cookies. She says she wanted to bring them home and was told no they stayed at her house. I did call another mom that I know who kid was there and asked her. She got the same story and her child was upset, too. So to me it seems that this mom has a nice plate of cookies the kids made her so she doesn't have to make cookies for her family christmas party on Monday. The kicker was the child of the mom was sick-running a 101 fever, chills and runny nose. I found that after I picked up DD. I don't think DD is going to anymore cookie baking parties there. What kind of cookies did the 3-6 year-olds make? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXBeth Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Since you have to see her every day, I would have let the gift thing slide. Weird, tacky, but not a huge deal. But the cookie thing was an outright lie and I'm pretty sure I would have to say something. "There must have been some misunderstanding at the party because DD was really sad that she didn't get to bring her cookies home. She said you told her they had to stay at your house. I tried to explain that you thought she chose to donate them, but I couldn't make it clear. Do you remember exactly what she said so I can explain to her how it was misunderstood? She has been really upset about this. Thanks!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 What kind of cookies did the 3-6 year-olds make? I was thinking booger flavored. It'd serve her right! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rivka Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Wow. I would cut the connection, and then I'd dine out on the story for weeks. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 I was thinking booger flavored. It'd serve her right! Did you know that you can find absolutely anything on the internet? Booger Cookie Recipe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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