meggie Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Baby girl was a wonderful sleeper from 0-6 months. At six months, she started waking multiple times a night. Now she's going 3-5 times and I'm really tired. After I had Digby, I went crazy from the sleep deprivation. And I literally mean crazy. I've managed to hold back the crazy for the time being by reminding myself that she's my last and that someday I'll look back and miss her snuggles, but I honestly don't think I can hold it at bay much longer. She's 10 months old; would you make your 10 month old cry it out or would you wait until she's weaned? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I wouldn't, but I know others will disagree. My dd did the same thing around that age, and it was usually either teething, or growth spurts, or ear infections, and I wouldn't want to leave a baby that's potentially in pain to cry it out. ETA: Do you co-sleep? That might be a good temporary solution. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I wouldn't let any let anyone cry it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 No. I slept with my kids when they were that age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I wouldn't let her cry, but I know you must be tired. I'd try to catch some naps for a while, or I'd see if DH could take some turns. That is, if cosleeping didn't help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Just after that - around 11 mos, I think, was the point at which my twins were making me completely insane and I tried it for about a week in desperation. It went against everything I believed, but I gave it a college try, as they say. And it didn't work. At all. It just left dh, me, and the kids more exhausted. Especially the kids' poor lungs. So I'd vote no way. But I know some people make it work, and after having gone through that, I totally don't judge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 At that age I'd find out what is wrong. Is she in pain and needs comfort? Is she hungry and not getting enough to eat during the day? Have you tried going to her and soothing her (hug, pats) without picking her up so she relearns how to sleep through the night? Only when all else fails would I consider CIO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Can you sleep with her in a twin bed? That way you can both sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momof3littles Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 (edited) My kids all had phases like that. They passed. We coslept and didn't CIO. My older two sleep great now (starting around age 2-3 things really, really improved) and DS2 is getting there (he's 20 months old). eta: the other thing is even with CIO, many experts will say you have to break it down. If she's still nursing at night, you might have to nightwean before CIO will work. CIO can work for some babies to fall asleep but doesn't help all babies with waking up in the middle of the night, etc. I know lots of people are fans, but I don't have it in me, and think there are many ways to get to the same end point without resorting to CIO. If she's still nursing at night, I'd try having DH deal with the nightwakings if that's at all possible, working toward nightweaning. That said, I don't think mine were ready to nightwean at that age either. Edited December 11, 2011 by Momof3littles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 after my boys stopped really needing to nurse in the night, my DH just went in when they woke at night. He could offer a hug, a back rub, water .... but they were less likely to want to wake the house just for that. In our experience, there is something about having Mom at your beck and call that can result in endless night wakings. All my children did great with our method, and all of them looooooove their Dad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parker Martin Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 We don't do that, but I know many who do and don't seem to have suffered ill effects. As others have suggested, co-sleeping might make things easier. If I were suffering from severe sleep deprivation that affected my ability to parent well during the day, I would definitely consider cry it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 No I would not. :) Sounds cranky. lol Sorry. Not feeling cranky, just answering honestly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 No. Have you read The No Cry Sleep Solution? There's one written for older babies and toddlers, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted December 11, 2011 Author Share Posted December 11, 2011 I wouldn't, but I know others will disagree. My dd did the same thing around that age, and it was usually either teething, or growth spurts, or ear infections, and I wouldn't want to leave a baby that's potentially in pain to cry it out. ETA: Do you co-sleep? That might be a good temporary solution. No, we don't co-sleep. I've tried it with all three kids and I think I must be doing something wrong, because it makes things worse not better. Right now, if I bring her to bed and hold her without feeding her, she'll start to play. Even if I'm unresponsive (I usually start falling asleep) she'll start grabbing my nose, chin, trying to roll over, slapping my cheeks, etc. She gets wired up. If I just bring her to bed and let her nurse, she falls back asleep for 1-3 hours. I wouldn't let her cry, but I know you must be tired. I'd try to catch some naps for a while, or I'd see if DH could take some turns. That is, if cosleeping didn't help. DH has started insisting I go to bed early. I don't know if it's helping or not. Just after that - around 11 mos, I think, was the point at which my twins were making me completely insane and I tried it for about a week in desperation. It went against everything I believed, but I gave it a college try, as they say. And it didn't work. At all. It just left dh, me, and the kids more exhausted. Especially the kids' poor lungs. So I'd vote no way. But I know some people make it work, and after having gone through that, I totally don't judge. Digby was like that, which is why I never wanted to do it again. But when I put her down for naps, she cries for about a minute and then starts sucking her fingers. I think she could handle it, but I'm not sure if it's worth it. I don't know. I just don't seem to know what would be best. If anyone knows any tips or techniques for functioning while being chronically sleep deprived, I would appreciate any advice. When I was pregnant with her, my midwife had me take Rhodiola Force to help with depression. Since there's no info about its effects on babies, I don't want to take it while I'm nursing. But I need to survive until then. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skadi Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 (edited) Yes, I would try CIO measures. But before you decide to try CIO, read about the how and why in Dr. Ferber's Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems and Gary Ezzo's On Becoming Baby Wise Book Two (5 - 12 months). Edited December 11, 2011 by Skadi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caribbean Queen Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 No, CIO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted December 11, 2011 Author Share Posted December 11, 2011 Whoa, more posts! Ok, thanks for the ideas everyone. I'll try putting Pigby in my room and sleeping with her on his bed. I would have DH help, but he sleeps like the dead and is usually more useless than helpful at night. I will also look into that book. Thanks Nance:001_smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Yes, I would try CIO measures. But before you decide to try CIO, read Dr. Ferber's Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems and Gary Ezzo's On Becoming Baby Wise Book Two (5 - 12 months). Oh boy, this thread is about to implode. :lurk5: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skadi Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I don't see why. The OP asked if we would, and I'm assuming she'd like book suggestions related to that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Dd started her life by sleeping 6 hours a night, midnight until 6 am. No matter what the situation she would never fall asleep in our bed. If we brought her into our bed she would do anything but sleep. I did let her cry at one point. She was healthy. Dh checked on her, patted her and all the good stuff and then I put a pillow over my head. She cried for 45 minutes that night and 5 minutes the next. And she started sleeping through the night again. Now all that good sleeping would shift a while if she were sick or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parker Martin Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I don't see why. The OP asked if we would, and I'm assuming she'd like book suggestions related to that? I think the person was referencing your mention of Ezzo, a controversial figure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momma2Many66 Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 No, we don't do CIO. I co-slept with all my children until they weaned and then we gently moved them into a toddler bed ( in our room) when they were ready at about 2 to 3 years old. They eventually then moved into a room to share with a sibling at about age 3 to 4. I am now long done with night nursings and co-sleeping and toddler beds in our room. My youngest is 6 1/2 years old now and looking back I am so glad we did do everything the way we did, I have no regrets in the co-sleeping not CIO method. All my children are very good sleepers now and very independent, so it did them no harm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I don't see why. The OP asked if we would, and I'm assuming she'd like book suggestions related to that? Skadi, I have been on the board long enough to know, the mere mention of Ezzo sets peoples hair on fire. :tongue_smilie: The way the board has been lately I am just assuming it may not go so well. Who knows, maybe it will be skipped over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicAnn Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 No, I wouldn't let any child cry it out. At this age, there is likely a fixable problem. Check out the Dr. Sears sleep book, or his Fussy Baby book (if there are other fussy baby problems not related to sleep). Also Attachmentparenting.org has some great sleep resources. Good luck!! Oh, and my daughter went from being a good sleeper to a terrible one around the same age. She ended up having food intolerances which caused bad sleep. That's very likely NOT your situation, but I thought I'd put it out there in case you've noticed other warning signs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skadi Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I hope so. There are plenty of parenting authors I disagree with, but I wouldn't go out of my way to rail against a board member who said they found his books to be helpful, you know what I mean? To each their own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Would and did. For the same reason at the same age, two hourly waking alllll night long was killing me. He cried for 45 mins the first night, about 10 the following and squeeked the night after. To me it came down to the kind of mother I was becoming for both my children, I don't do well on no sleep. I understand that people are vehemently anti CIO, but my take is that a couple of nights of crying does not undo a lifetime of love and caring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Atl Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Nope... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Jessica* Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I wouldn't let any let anyone cry it out. I agree! So do two Harvard researchers. The early stress resulting from separation causes changes in infant brains that makes future adults more susceptible to stress in their lives, say Commons and Miller. "Parents should recognize that having their babies cry unnecessarily harms the baby permanently," Commons said. "It changes the nervous system so they're overly sensitive to future trauma." Even if their research isn't accurate it would be pretty hard to dispute the last line of the article. But "punishment and abandonment has never been a good way to get warm, caring, independent people." I'm very sorry that you're having a hard time coping with a lack of sleep, but I really encourage you to try things other than CIO. And please stay away from Ferber's and Ezzo's books!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I hope so. There are plenty of parenting authors I disagree with, but I wouldn't go out of my way to rail against a board member who said they found his books to be helpful, you know what I mean? To each their own. I do. Others don't. FTR, I agree with you. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy_of_4 Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 We did with DS closer to 12 months but he was waking EVERY hr. He was drinking close to 35ozs a night and then eating good during the day. I couldn't take it anymore. The first night he cried so much but I would go in every 10 min. or less and rub his back and sing to him. The second night was a little better and he would only cry for 5 min. when he woke up. The third night he started sleeping through the night and has ever night since unless he is sick. I don't see any harm in it at 10months+ as long as you let the child know you are still there with them and you don't just leave them in their room all by themselves to cry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athena1277 Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 At 10 months my dd got to be so hard to get to sleep, that we finally had to let her cry it out. It was really hard (mostly for me!), but we did not regret it. She was my bottle baby (nursing didn't work for us). Ds was my nurser and we let him cry it out at 8 months because he got to where he would not go to sleep without nursing and I could not nurse all night. He would not nurse lying down. He got through crying it out quickly and easily. As long as baby is at least 6 months, it's ok to cry it out if the parents are comfortable with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I would never let my babies cry it out. We co-sleep and it works well for us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chepyl Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I would try it for a couple of nights. Of it Is going to work, it takes a few days, not weeks. My son cried for 2-3 days, then he went right to sleep. My daughter however, cried non-stop for 2 days. We went back to co-sleeping with her. We co-slept with both kids. DS was ready to go to .sleep alone at 10 months, DD was not ready until 18 months. Totally different personalities - one independent and one not so much ;) If you are going to co-sleep go ahead and nurse. DD needed it to get back to sleep until she was over a year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Yep, I would and did. Co-sleeping never worked for us, they would wiggle, kick, talk - but not sleep! I used the advice in this book http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Love-Everything-about-Babys/dp/0871319853 by Robin Barker which is very gentle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negin Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I would never let my babies cry it out. We co-sleep and it works well for us. Yes, that's what we did also. No regrets whatsoever. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelanieM Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 No, I would not. If I were crying at night and my husband ignored me, I would be devastated. I can't imagine doing that to my babies. Wishing you some restful nights with a happy, sleeping baby. :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spaceman Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I wouldn't, and am generally not for crying it out. However, I think the Mother's health is a major concern and should not be taken lightly. If you aren't against it, how about you or your husband laying with her or holding her while she's crying? I don't consider that "crying it out" if she's in the arms of a loved one. Good luck and I hope it passes soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 No, I wouldn't let a 10 month old cry it out. Enlist help if you need from dh.:grouphug: (This too shall pass.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 :grouphug: I did not let them cry it out. But my kids were pretty easy - when they started waking up around that age, it was because they were hungry or wet. A quick diaper change and/or an extra feeding got us through the rough spot and they went back to sleeping at night again once the growth spurt was over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I would not have her cry it out. a solid meal before bedtime nursing might help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSMWB Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 No way would I do 'cry it out' in a nursing 10 month old. I would not do it with a 10 month old nursing or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I wouldn't. If they started crying, I waited 15-20 minutes to see if they could calm down. If not, I went in. However, I don't have a high tolerance for the crying. It puts me on edge. I would go in comfort. Once clamed down I would leave. I did lightly jiggling while swaddling (although for 10 months blanket covering face worked) swaying and shushing. It would calm them down. I read somewhere no matter what you do you need to give it 5-10 minutes because that is how long it takes for the calming message to get to the brain of the baby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 No, absolutely not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertDweller Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 No, I wouldn't. I would assume there was something wrong or they were hungry. I usually would end up rocking my ds when he was this way as a baby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 2 things I would try first. Try giving a bit of cereal just prior to the last feeding at night. And the second thing would be a pacifier. hth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 No. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I am not against CIO per se, but I would want to be sure that the issue wasn't teething (at that age especially) or some other pain source. Also, some kids are better candidates for CIO than others, personality-wise. Honestly I think some kids eventually "need" it, but I'd have to know the kid. I lucked out with my kids and never had to make this kind of choice. I was very no-nonsense about sleep and they were fine with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Yes. I would and have let a baby that age cry it out. I remember being so chronically sleep deprived that I wasn't able to function during the day to take care of the rest of my children. CIO helped me to survive and helped me to regain my sanity. My babies cried it out for a night or two, and then they slept through the night like a dream. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 At some point just around age 1 (maybe a little before? maybe a little after) I realized with an awful shock that my dd was waking up several times each night, and that it was actually worse than when she was a newborn because it took longer to settle her each time she woke. In her case, dd was hungry, plain and simple, but not too thrilled about eating solid food. She just only wanted to nurse, and not have to deal with solid food. We found that specifically working hard on getting her to eat solids helped enormously. My dh was really wonderful in helping with some of that training. Three things we did: --Worked hard on eating more solids throughout the day. Dd did nurse until 2 1/2 years old, so this was not weaning so much as just getting her less exclusively dependent on breastfeeding. --Worked on helping her learn to settle to sleep without just nursing. We did other comforting behaviors like cuddling or rubbing her back, and often letting her sleep in our bed but just not breastfeed at that time. --When I did breastfeed at night, I'd offer only one side and cut it short. That made her really mad!!! It was important for her not to depend on getting her hunger filled at night--it was important for her to get enough calories during the day so as not to need it at night so much. We kept soothing, cuddling, stroking, and showing love to her, but tried to shift the focus away from breastfeeding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I would. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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