So, do you really NOT answer the phone during school time?

[mama25angels]

Someone I love dearly is not getting it, that during certain hours i'm not available because i'm working with the kids. This is not our first year homeschooling so, I don't know why this is happening now. I have given this person our break times and this person continues to call at odd hours of the day. When I don't answer the phone and she calls the house phone and then calls my cell phone and then calls the house phone again. My older kids answer the phone now and lets her know that i'm busy working with one of the younger ones and I will return her call as soon as we have a break. How can tell her that I need her not to call until 3pm without hurting her feeling and making her feel like I don't want to talk to her?

[jplain]

I hate talking on the phone anyway, so I love using homeschooling as an excuse not to answer it. :D

 

However, I do look at caller ID if I'm sitting near a phone. If it is DH, I'll pick it up, because he only calls for important stuff. If it is the mom of my kids' closest friends (also homeschoolers), I wait until I have a break and then check to see if the message is time-sensitive. Otherwise, I only check messages and return calls after we're done with school for the day.

 

When I return calls, I let my friends and family know that I don't answer the phone or check messages when we're homeschooling. Everyone has been fine with it. I also mention that since we're out of the house so often for activities, sometimes it's better to just email me if someone has a question or needs info. Email often gets checked when the kids are at a class, but I never call in to my home voice mail.

Edited November 28, 2011 by jplain

[TracyP]

I have a message on my house phone that says, "...school is in session until 2:00. Please leave a message, or call back after 2." I had to turn my ringer off when I first started doing this because it drove me crazy to not answer the phone. Now, it doesn't bother me in the least. If you are consistent in not answering, she will stop trying to call.

[Halcyon]

No way. When my husband calls during that time, even HE has to leave a message :) That said, I will look at a text--so he knows to text me in an emergency.

[mrs.m]

I don't answer the phone unless it is my DH calling on my cell which is on vibrate so it doesn't disturb the kids. When I had a house phone, I turned it off and let it roll to voicemail.

 

I can't really control when people decide to call and wouldn't ever ask that of someone who doesn't homeschool. They forget because their life doesn't revolve around homeschooling schedules. ;) I return their call later without explaining why I didn't pick up earlier. Sometimes during lunch hour or after we are finished for the day.

 

I have asked a few homeschooling friends. They are usually busy with school, too!

[Mrs Twain]

I always let the answering machine get the phone calls during school time. If it is urgent, I call back, but otherwise I do not call back until we are done with school. Michael Farris wrote an interesting article in the HSLDA magazine recently which talked about things he learned homeschooling his ten children. The first item was about not talking the phone or being on the computer during school time. He specifically encouraged the use of answering machines to take messages. I think that is a good idea.

[Farrar]

I answer it.

 

That said, I don't think I've been called more than half a dozen times during school time EVER.

[Homemama2]

I had problems w/ phone calls one year. One friend would want to call during the day while her kids were at ps and literally talk for 1-2 HOURS. She would sometimes call 3 or 4 times per week! My mom and MIL would call every other day or so just to chat. Dh would call up to chat. These were all people that I love to talk to and I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I did finally say that the kids were just getting so distracted with all the calls that I wasn't answering any calls except from DH, and he agreed to only call if it was important. Everyone understood, and after doing that for a year, I rarely get daytime phone calls (so if I do get a call, now I do answer it usually.)

[KristenR]

I try to make a point to leave my phone in the other room. I have a hard time not answering my phone so I try to do away with the temptation. Most people know that I am busy until lunch time and are getting pretty good about not calling until after then.

I never had a problem mentioning it to friends, whether homeschooling or not, because they understand that my kids education takes priority over a friendly chat.

 

I still get too many random calls, and bill collectors, and now all the election stuff so I just try to keep it out of sight and out of mind until after our schoolday is done.

[kandty]

It depends on who it is and what we are doing right at that moment. Having this on your answering machine is a good idea and I know some who do that. It is just rude to keep calling! I think I would ask (nicely) for her to respect your wishes. She can leave a message if she "thinks" she needs to talk to you before that time. Good luck!

[Veritaserum]

I only pick it up if it's someone I need to talk to (doctor test results, for example) or dh. Otherwise, the machine gets it and I return calls later. If they don't leave a message, it must not be important and I don't return the call. :tongue_smilie:

[SkateLeft]

We don't have issues with phone calls during the day anymore, but I did several years ago. I changed our voicemail message to say that we don't answer the phone until after 3pm so please leave a message. It worked beautifully. We've used Vonage for years (voice over IP), and voicemail messages get transcribed to email. So I can check my email to see who called without it disturbing our school day.

 

But honestly, if it's just one person, I'd be blunt and tell them that you're not going to answer the phone during the day.

[Twigs]

I have a message on my house phone that says, "...school is in session until 2:00. Please leave a message, or call back after 2." I had to turn my ringer off when I first started doing this because it drove me crazy to not answer the phone. Now, it doesn't bother me in the least. If you are consistent in not answering, she will stop trying to call.

 

… When I had a house phone, I turned it off and let it roll to voicemail.

 

I can't really control when people decide to call and wouldn't ever ask that of someone who doesn't homeschool. They forget because their life doesn't revolve around homeschooling schedules. ;) I return their call later without explaining why I didn't pick up earlier. …

 

 

:iagree:

 

You can't control them, but you can train them! :D You must be consistent.

 

Best wishes.

[warneral]

If we aren't in the middle of something, I will answer it. If we are in the middle of reading, we usually let the answering machine pick up. It is a goal of mine to be structured, yet also flexible for what comes our way :)

[warneral]

I should add that my family has been very respectful of our school time and doesn't call unless necessary. Therefore, I don't get too many calls.

[Ellie]

I'm not sure there's a way for her to not have her feelings hurt. That's her choice, KWIM?

 

You can only say, sweetly but directly, "It's really important for you to understand that I canNOT answer the telephone before 3 during the week. I love you dearly, but I just can't talk to anyone before then. I promise to call you after 3."

[LindaOz]

I DO answer the phone but every now and then I get sick of losing so much time and leave it off the 'hook' so it won't ring. I figure that the people who would really need to contact me in an emergency have my mobile phone number anyway, and then I can answer it :) .

[redsquirrel]

I do not answer the phone during school hours unless it is my partner or a Dr office etc.

 

Well, at this point if my mom or sister called during the day I prob would pick it up because it would be so unusual that I would worry. They know not to call during those times.

 

I am working during lesson time. I don't have time for personal calls unless it is something that truly won't wait.

 

But.... I am not above checking my email, lol. At least it is quiet. :lol:

[SebastianCat]

We use caller ID. I answer anytime DH calls, but we're selective about anyone else during school. Most of my close friends also homeschool, so there's usually a good reason if one of them calls during school time.

 

If I had a friend who didn't understand my request, I'd just stop answering the phone when they called.

[justLisa]

I don't even know anyone who uses a phone anymore LOL. Even DH correspond via email often. Most people I know have blackberries and we keep each other on messenger.

 

Anyone who WOULD call me knows I HS and is supportive/respectful of it. Except for one person, who called me to ask one time..." Oh, D is out of school tomorrow, and since you do the HS thing I was thinking maybe you could take him for the day..." true story. I thought it was hilarious and I know he was trying to poke at me, but I am really not one to be offended by it so I just laughed.

[Beth in SW WA]

I answer if dh calls or my big kids call from school for some reason. Caller ID is my friend. :)

[alpidarkomama]

I rarely answer the phone during learning time. I just ignore it. A two-minute phone call can easily turn into twenty and we just don't have the time. :)

[tristangrace]

If you've told her you don't answer the phone during school hours, then I would just follow through with it: don't answer the phone during school hours. I'd just let the phones ring! No skin off my nose if people want to spend five minutes trying my number(s) multiple times.

 

Either she'll figure it our or she won't--you can't control that. But if the policy is in place so that you and your kids are not spending time on the phone during school, you can definitely control that.

[ereks mom]

I always let the answering machine get the phone calls during school time. If it is urgent, I call back, but otherwise I do not call back until we are done with school.

 

:iagree:

[Zebra]

I'm not sure there's a way for her to not have her feelings hurt. That's her choice, KWIM?

 

 

Her "hurt" feelings shouldn't make you feel like you have to do what she wants. And it may be that she truly can't remember when she's supposed to call.

 

A few years ago we had a HUGE issue with someone in our life who would call 10x and a day, and it was awful. So, I used an excuse and turned the ringer off on my phone COMPLETELY. I know most people wouldn't do this, but I absolutely love it. I have trained everyone in my life to leave a message, I check the machine several times during the day. It's solved a lot of problems in my life.

 

That being said, you should feel totally free to turn the ringer off during school if you can't resist the temptation to answer it. You are doing school, and the phone is there for YOU, not anyone else.

[Daisy]

I never answer the phone when we are homeschooling. Ever. Husband knows to leave a message on the answering machine and I'll pick up if it is an emergency.

 

I rarely answer the phone when I'm not homeschooling either. LOL. I hate talking on the phone. Leave your message and let me get on with my life. I've never been the chit-chatty sort though.

[Mommy22alyns]

I would only answer the phone for my DH while homeschooling. Otherwise, the ringer's off and I don't care.

[MelissaMinNC]

I really do not answer the phone during school time; and in your position, I would just unplug the phone/turn off (or down to vibrate) the cell phone and ignore till after school hours.

 

:)

[mcconnellboys]

I either let answering machines answer, or turn off my phone/cell. All calls roll to answering machines when the phones are turned off, and I don't have to hear the ringing....

[laundrycrisis]

I answer calls from my husband, or perhaps a call I have been waiting for. I will also answer calls from my closest homeschooling friends...I know that they already understand that we are doing school, so if they are calling, they either really need something or it is something that will be very short, not an expectation of a long conversation. As a person without any relatives around to call for emergencies, I depend on friends for that, so I want to be available for them in the same sort of situation. I do not answer school time calls from numbers I don't recognize, businesses that I do recognize but don't want to talk to right then, or relatives. I return those calls later.

[Socalimom]

Nope, I don't answer phone calls. IF the phone happens to be next to me during school time and someone texts, then I'll read it but I won't respond. But usually my mobile is not near me. I don't have a land line.

[Myeightkiddies]

We use an answering machine during school time. It clearly states that I am busy and will respond to calls after <insert time>, and I encourage them to leave a message. If the message sounds important, as they are leaving it, one of my adult children will answer and deal with it. If my husband calls and receives the message he will leave a message, speak to one of the older children, or call my cell (if it is important). Usually he will only call during school hours if it is important or if he needs to speak with one of the older children. Typically he would just call that child's cell.

 

I feel it is important to do this. Some people do not take hints. They just don't seem to understand. Instead of causing a big confrontation, using the answering machine method will get it in their head. If they try to call the cell, just put it on vibrate or silent and let them get your voice mail. Eventually they will understand and accept. This applies to friends, relatives, etc. I don't worry about hurting a relative's feelings. If they cared about us they wouldn't insist on chatting during school hours. If it is important they will state in the message, which will be picked-up immediately by one of the older children (or me if near).

 

I know it is a hard thing to do, but I'd like to encourage you to give it a try. :grouphug:

[Chloe]

I usually only answer calls from my dh. Other calls are answered ONLY IF they are relatives and I am not immediately working with one of my dc.

[Holly]

I usually only answer DH's calls. I may answer other relative's if we aren't super busy. I also usually answer other HS moms because their calls are quick and to the point during the school day. :lol:

 

Anyone else, and I hit the button to silence the ringer so the machine can still pick it up.

[sweetpea3829]

Ok, honestly...I was having this problem with my husband. It hasn't been an issue since he took a new job in NY where it's illegal to talk on a cell phone and drive at the same time...but back in RI, where it IS legal...he'd call during the drive between every.single.delivery.

 

Love him to pieces...but even withOUT homeschooling...it got old.

 

And he wouldn't listen to, "Honey, I'm teaching right now and can't chat."

[Classically Minded]

When I don't answer the phone and she calls the house phone and then calls my cell phone and then calls the house phone again.

 

This is a bit odd behavior for someone you have told already your situation. I mean they call your house phone, then your cell, then your house phone again? That is almost like stalking if you ask me lol. :001_huh:

[FairyMom]

No way. When my husband calls during that time, even HE has to leave a message :) That said, I will look at a text--so he knows to text me in an emergency.

:iagree: This is me! My cell phone is on vibrate, so I can hear it vibrate and will check it when I'm at a stopping point. People know to text me if they have to get a hold of us. Until 1pm, we are unavailable. :D

[Guest]

You guys are good. We're at a point in schooling and in life that I need to buckle down on the phone issue. We've had a few instances the last few weeks where a phone call derails our entire day. (And it probably didn't need to, but I have this "thing" about unfinished business.)

 

Unfortunately, I have this fear if I turn my phone off completely - what if? what if? And no, I don't have enough self-control right now just to answer dh's calls. :)

[mama25angels]

 

Unfortunately, I have this fear if I turn my phone off completely - what if? what if? And no, I don't have enough self-control right now just to answer dh's calls. :)

 

 

This is me. I only answer Dh's calls because he never calls unless he needs something. But, this person, whom I love, just calls for any little thing and because we have had some emergencies, I answer to make sure it's not another one.

[ChandlerMom]

I have no trouble not answering the phone, but if it is ringing a lot I put it in a drawer or turn the ringer off. I have the ringer programmed to turn off during ds' nap time (noon to three).

 

We switched to Google Voice and ditched the landline. One of the best parts is that it converts all phone messages to text and e-mails it to you, so I can scan thru e-mail rather than check voicemail or feel the need to answer. ;) Much less disruptive. I can also set it so that everyone EXCEPT dh goes straight to voicemail (and hence, get an e-mail), and since our cell number isn't known, I can forward just the folks I want to have that kind of access (it can ring multiple phone simultaneously).

[jhschool]

Hi

 

There is no need for you to explain any further!

 

You already informed her that you are busy.

 

Turn your ringer off and don't pick up!

 

Your homeschooling is more important than dealing

with nonsense!

[elegantlion]

I only answer for dh or my parents, and they rarely call.

 

The best thing I ever did for schooling was to treat my time like this is a job. I wouldn't be allowed to chat and talk with a girlfriend or relative at my job. I might get a quick chat with dh about something important, but not a long conversation. I have the attitude that I am working, just out of my home and with my son, but I am working.

[mama25angels]

I only answer for dh or my parents, and they rarely call.

 

The best thing I ever did for schooling was to treat my time like this is a job. I wouldn't be allowed to chat and talk with a girlfriend or relative at my job. I might get a quick chat with dh about something important, but not a long conversation. I have the attitude that I am working, just out of my home and with my son, but I am working.

 

 

:iagree: that's what we've been doing this year and I can't tell you the difference it's made in what we're able to accomplish in a day. You know what's really bugging me, is that at the beginning of the year, she didn't call much.

[MeganW]

Someone I love dearly is not getting it, that during certain hours i'm not available because i'm working with the kids. This is not our first year homeschooling so, I don't know why this is happening now. I have given this person our break times and this person continues to call at odd hours of the day. When I don't answer the phone and she calls the house phone and then calls my cell phone and then calls the house phone again. My older kids answer the phone now and lets her know that i'm busy working with one of the younger ones and I will return her call as soon as we have a break. How can tell her that I need her not to call until 3pm without hurting her feeling and making her feel like I don't want to talk to her?

 

You have two choices:

- you've told her - you can just quit answering

- you can explain in more detail & try to convince her. "If I were a teacher at a public school, would you think I should chat on the phone during school hours? My kids' education is just as valuable as those children's. This is my JOB, even though I don't have a principal watching over me. I HAVE to teach my kids. If it is an emergency, it's fine to call, but otherwise, I just cannot drop my child in the middle of a math lesson to chat. I value our friendship, but I don't feel like you are respecting my work or my family by continuing to call during school hours when I have asked numerous times that you wait until after 3."

[mrs.m]

This is me. I only answer Dh's calls because he never calls unless he needs something. But, this person, whom I love, just calls for any little thing and because we have had some emergencies, I answer to make sure it's not another one.

 

But she can leave a message, right? You can check it if you are concerned and call right back. At least then you aren't pulled into a lengthy conversation. ;)

[Melinda S in TX]

We have caller id. I check the phone and if it is not dh I do not answer. Business calls I return between 4-5pm. All other calls get returned after the children are in bed at 8pm.

[mothergooseof4]

No land line here. I keep my cell by me all day, but I only answer if it is dh or a call I am expecting...say medical test results or something. Oh, I do answer my MIL, but she is respectful of my time and will only call to ask a quick question then politely end the call. All of my friends hs and will text if they have a question.

 

It was getting annoying that dh calls me for no reason during his lunch. He will ask what I am doing and then just kind of sits there. He really doesn't have anything to say. But, I realized that our relationship is important and if this makes him feel connected during his day, then I take his call and stay on the phone for the few minutes he has to talk. The kids know to sit quietly and wait for me.

[MrsMe]

Someone I love dearly is not getting it, that during certain hours i'm not available because i'm working with the kids.

 

I have given this person our break times and this person continues to call at odd hours of the day.

 

When I don't answer the phone and she calls the house phone and then calls my cell phone and then calls the house phone again.

 

How can tell her that I need her not to call until 3pm without hurting her feeling and making her feel like I don't want to talk to her?

 

You can't if you continue to answer her calls. You're worried about "hurting her feelings" and that's garbage because she clearly doesn't much care about yours.

 

Now I'm not saying you should be rude, but for heaven's sake, don't answer it period. Call her back on your break or after school. Don't have your kids answer it, nothing! If you continue to have someone answer it, then she will keep calling.

 

My dh's phone is the ONLY one I'll answer and it's on silent. The rest go a a machine I can't hear or voice mail. My dh's phone ring is also different than anyone elses, so if I do forget to silence it, then I know not to bother.

 

Don't enable it.

Edited November 29, 2011 by alilac

[happycc]

Before homeschooling my first set, I had really close friends we kept in touch during the week. Then we started homeschooling and I couldn;t talk during the weekdays. We lost touch kind of. Then when we stopped homeschooling and i had time to talk during the week days, I had friends again and found the old ones again. Now since I started homeschooling this year, my friends have stopped calling and I have stopped calling them.

This is so hard!

I guess it is what it is!

 

Luckily, most of my friends are the kinds that you can not talk to forever and when we can it is like we never missed a beat.

 

Being a homeschooling mom can be lonely though. If it weren't for the ABA therapists coming through the house for my youngest son, I would go for the whole week and not talk to single soul other than my kids and husband. I don;t want to be friendless!