helena Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 (edited) . Edited October 24, 2011 by helena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaffodilDreams Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 (edited) It's not okay with me. ETA: I like a glass of wine as much as anyone else, but, no, I wouldn't want someone to drink and then drive my child around. It wouldn't matter to me if it was one drink or ten. I still wouldn't like it. This is one of the reasons dd will not stay with dh's parents alone. Edited October 23, 2011 by kimmie38017 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 It would depend. If it was a normal sized person who had a glass of wine or a beer with dinner - probably wouldn't bother me assuming I knew and trusted the person otherwise. If the person was a very small woman, where one drink might have a stronger affect (or someone I knew was like me, with no tolerance) it would bother me. If the one drink was a strong mixed drink or a shot of some kind - not acceptable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 A drink? As in one? Wouldn't think twice about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mo2 Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Since you say they are the driver, no, not okay. If they were not driving and they were of age, sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 It would depend. If it was a normal sized person who had a glass of wine or a beer with dinner - probably wouldn't bother me assuming I knew and trusted the person otherwise. If the person was a very small woman, where one drink might have a stronger affect (or someone I knew was like me, with no tolerance) it would bother me. If the one drink was a strong mixed drink or a shot of some kind - not acceptable. :iagree:My husband can have a drink and be well under the legal limit. He is fine. If I have one, I'm still under the legal limit, but feeling it. I wouldn't have a problem with it, as for most normal sized adults, one drink will not impair them, unless they drank a quick shot or something, and then immediately went driving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrs.m Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Only one drink? I don't think too many people get impaired from one drink with a meal. It wouldn't bother me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 A drink? As in one? Wouldn't think twice about it. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2denj Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 No way! I do not drink, but I definitely wouldn't if I had someone else's children with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 A drink? One drink? With a meal? Would not even register to me as bad or inappropriate. In America people tend to FREAK OUT over normal behaviour like this, but in other countries I think people would be more baffled as to why it was even discussed to begin with. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristineW Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 A drink? As in one? Wouldn't think twice about it. :iagree: Unless it were something stronger than wine or beer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 It would depend. If it was a normal sized person who had a glass of wine or a beer with dinner - probably wouldn't bother me assuming I knew and trusted the person otherwise. If the person was a very small woman, where one drink might have a stronger affect (or someone I knew was like me, with no tolerance) it would bother me. If the one drink was a strong mixed drink or a shot of some kind - not acceptable. 12 oz. of beer, 5 oz of wine and 1.5 oz of hard liquor all have about the same amount of alcohol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBasil Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 I think normal and acceptable is going to vary by family, but I would be fine with one drink with a meal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rtcrmine Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 A drink? One drink? With a meal? Would not even register to me as bad or inappropriate. In America people tend to FREAK OUT over normal behaviour like this, but in other countries I think people would be more baffled as to why it was even discussed to begin with. :confused: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zookeeper Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 I wouldn't like it and I wouldn't like the example it set for my kids who might not understand the difference between driving after one drink with a meal vs. driving drunk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 A drink? As in one? Wouldn't think twice about it. :iagree: I wouldn't think twice about two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margo out of lurking Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 and they had a drink (alcoholic) with their meal? They're also the driver. Is this normal and acceptable? As a conservative Christian with the majority of friends/acquaintances who abstain entirely, how would I feel about "A" drink? I would think nothing. If the possibility bothered me, then I wouldn't let my kids be alone with this family. If the person is an alcoholic (and slipped with one drink), my kids would not be alone with them either. However, dh and I are not abstainers and joke that we have a few good "drinking buddies"--which in our case means another family that will come over for dinner and have a beer or two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 One serving of alcohol wouldn't concern me in the least. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Only one drink? I don't think too many people get impaired from one drink with a meal. It wouldn't bother me. :iagree: More than one drink, I would have a problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oneplustwoIdaho Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 It would depend on how well I knew them, but I wouldn't be very happy about it. My girls went boating last summer with a friend down the road, but I found out later that the parents were drinking beer. I have no idea how much. They will not be going with them again if invited, which is sad. I really like the people, but it never occured to me that they would drink while driving my kids around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 A drink? As in one? Wouldn't think twice about it. Me either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJ. Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 One drink with a meal would not bother me in the least. When we go to restaurants dh usually has a beer with his meal. In fact, we like to visit breweries with attached restaurants. We believe in modeling a healthy, balanced relationship with alcohol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 One drink wouldn't bother me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Only one drink? I don't think too many people get impaired from one drink with a meal. It wouldn't bother me. :iagree: This is totally normal behavior. I wouldn't think twice about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tntgoodwin Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 If I trusted the parents' judgment to take my kids to dinner, then I would trust their judgment to know how much they can drink and still keep my (an their own) children safe. One drink wouldn't be an issue, especially with a meal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 One drink with a meal is completely normal; I assume the adult knows exactly how he handles alcohol and that he will not be impaired. I personally have a very low tolerance for alcohol and can only have half a glass, but I am aware of it; most adults are completely fine after one drink. Would not be a problem for me at all. ETA: Elsewhere in the world, it would be considered normal for the teenager to have a glass of wine with dinner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 That scenario would not bother me at all. Multiple drinks would be no-no when driving others' children, imo. If I was the person taking someone else's child out, if I had ANY, ANY thought that me having a drink with my meal would cause the parent to be uncomfortable, I would have iced tea or water out of respect. There are people who have had very bad experiences in life regarding alcohol and I do think in America there's a totally different view of drinking it with meals or for refreshment than in other countries... Some people who have had alcohol damage their personal lives are not going to be okay with this scenario and I would want to be sensitive to them. I have a daughter who is very sensitive to alcohol and who cannot make wise choices around it... therefore, that itself will change how I approach some scenarios.... I think it's important to be understanding of those we are involved with as friends and family and respect them... But, I would not judge others who do not have to consider these things. I know many people who can enjoy a drink with a meal and are very responsible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twoforjoy Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 One drink with a meal is completely normal; I assume the adult knows exactly how he handles alcohol and that he will not be impaired. This. I personally don't drink at all when I'm driving. I have very, very low tolerance, and I get tispy after about half a glass. I wouldn't be comfortable driving if I'd had more than a few sips to drink. My husband is 6'5" and has normal tolerance. He can have two drinks and be fine, although he doesn't have more than one drink if he's driving. I have no concerns about him driving when he's had a drink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 It would make me feel a bit uncomfortable since (a) I don't know their limit, (b) I don't know whether they really only had one drink (before/during dinner) and © it seems strange to me that an adult felt it necessary to drink alcohol when taking other people's children out to dinner. Oddly, I just talked to my sister who is very serious about not letting her husband drive their kid around after a day with his family, because he drinks. He says he's not impaired, she says he is ("go get a breathalizer at the police station if you're so sure"). Someone who does this habitually may overestimate his ability to drive carefully. I told her that I too would not let someone drive my kids around with alcohol in their bloodstream. It's not necessary, and it's not a good practice. That said, I understand that many people can drink one drink and still drive safely. But I would still be asking myself - why? Why couldn't they wait until later to get boozed up? (Not that my kids wouldn't drive a man to drink on some nights . . . .) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 If I trusted the parents' judgment to take my kids to dinner, then I would trust their judgment to know how much they can drink and still keep my (an their own) children safe. One drink wouldn't be an issue, especially with a meal. :iagree: A normal person would not be impaired with one drink, especially with a meal so what is the issue? And if the person had an abnormal intolerance to alcohol, I would expect them not to drink if they were driving--that comes under the trusting their judgment part. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In2why Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Only one drink? I don't think too many people get impaired from one drink with a meal. It wouldn't bother me. :iagree: A beer or glass of wine with dinner. It wouldn't bother me a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SewingMom2many Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 I wouldn't like it and I wouldn't like the example it set for my kids who might not understand the difference between driving after one drink with a meal vs. driving drunk. :iagree: I feel the same way. One time, my mother took my daughter with her to visit relatives in another state. My mom had a drink with her dinner and my daughter (~14 at the time, now age 22) refused to get in the car with her. My daughter called a cab lol. :lol: We still laugh about it. My mom was thoroughly embarrassed but my daughter had a point, we had taught her never, ever to get in a car with anyone who had anything to drink. I was very proud of her! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhomemaker Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 If I trusted the parents' judgment to take my kids to dinner, then I would trust their judgment to know how much they can drink and still keep my (an their own) children safe. One drink wouldn't be an issue, especially with a meal. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greeny Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 One drink with a meal would not bother me in the least. When we go to restaurants dh usually has a beer with his meal. In fact, we like to visit breweries with attached restaurants. We believe in modeling a healthy, balanced relationship with alcohol. :iagree: We routinely have a glass of wine or a beer with dinner. Our children think it is normal. I would never think twice about an average non-alcoholic adult having one drink with their meal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 SKL, it's not about getting "boozed up". It's not about a lack of self control and I don't enjoy a drink because my kids drive me nuts or because life is rough... I like ice cold beer with pizza... at the pizzeria. My kids see me enjoy a drink and act responsibly and I'm not getting boozed up. I'm simply enjoying a beverage and it doesn't offend anyone in my family or circle of friends. I might enjoy a glass of wine at home towards the end of the day. And it might have been a stressful day to boot! So what! I'm not drinking a bottle of wine and if something were to happen to one of the kids or an emergency arose, I'd be completely capable of handling it thoroughly and responsibly. I learned in my teens that you don't drink for the wrong reasons. Period. Doesn't mean some people don't do that. They do. But, it's not about asking why they would have a drink, it's about knowing the person that you let your kids go with. It's about respect. If we were good friend irl, I would respect you and not drink if I had your kids out to dinner. I would respect you because I believe that's what friends do... And if you were my friend you would know me and wouldn't think that I had to go get "boozed up". Just sayin'... Respectfully, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Why couldn't they wait until later to get boozed up? Because a drink with a meal has nothing to do with "getting boozed up". It has nothing to do with "having to have" a drink. For some people, a drink with a meal is a routine part of the meal experience. Only in this country is it such a huge deal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 :iagree:I feel the same way. One time, my mother took my daughter with her to visit relatives in another state. My mom had a drink with her dinner and my daughter (~14 at the time, now age 22) refused to get in the car with her. My daughter called a cab lol. :lol: We still laugh about it. My mom was thoroughly embarrassed but my daughter had a point, we had taught her never, ever to get in a car with anyone who had anything to drink. I was very proud of her! So you felt safer with your DD in a cab with a stranger in a different state than you did with your own mom after ONE drink? What your mom did was completely legal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Yes, our biases show itn how we describe the event in question. "Can't take the kids out without getting boozed up"/"Can't handle a meal with the kids without resorting to alcohol" VS. Enjoyed a glass of wine/ice cold beer with the meal. If I trusted them with my children I would trust their judgment to have a glass of wine/a beer/a cocktail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiveOaksAcademy Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 (edited) . Edited October 24, 2011 by FiveOaksAcademy :) God has blessed me too much to sit and argue with people I can't see Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mjfb Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 I would have a serious issue with it. Dh has a beer once in awhile. I almost never drink with the kids around (and I'm talking one drink, not getting drunk). Neither of us would drive anywhere with the kids after drinking anything. We also won't have them in the car if we are overtired while driving, the weather is really stormy, etc etc. Because WE don't, we expect the same from others who are taking care of them. I admit that we are hyper conscious of alcohol, though. Too many alcoholics in my extended family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acorn Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Normal around here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 I wouldn't have a problem with it. No big deal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 SKL, it's not about getting "boozed up". It's not about a lack of self control and I don't enjoy a drink because my kids drive me nuts or because life is rough... I like ice cold beer with pizza... at the pizzeria. My kids see me enjoy a drink and act responsibly and I'm not getting boozed up. I'm simply enjoying a beverage and it doesn't offend anyone in my family or circle of friends. I might enjoy a glass of wine at home towards the end of the day. And it might have been a stressful day to boot! So what! I'm not drinking a bottle of wine and if something were to happen to one of the kids or an emergency arose, I'd be completely capable of handling it thoroughly and responsibly. I learned in my teens that you don't drink for the wrong reasons. Period. Doesn't mean some people don't do that. They do. But, it's not about asking why they would have a drink, it's about knowing the person that you let your kids go with. It's about respect. If we were good friend irl, I would respect you and not drink if I had your kids out to dinner. I would respect you because I believe that's what friends do... And if you were my friend you would know me and wouldn't think that I had to go get "boozed up". Just sayin'... Respectfully, too. It seems to me that when you are in charge of other people's kids, you act a little differently. For example, I will occasionally swear in front of my kids, but I wouldn't do it in front of your kids. If I did, you probably would be wondering why I couldn't control myself a little more while caring for your kids. Even if you yourself swear in front of your kids. Get my drift? For the record, my parents drink alcohol and I have no problem with that. I still would not put my kids in their car after they had drinks (with or without a meal), nor would that offend them. Fine for them to drink at a meal (we go out with an auntie who regularly does that), but someone else needs to drive IMHO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SewingMom2many Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 So you felt safer with your DD in a cab with a stranger in a different state than you did with your own mom after ONE drink? What your mom did was completely legal. Well now that you put it that way... maybe not! My mom was in the cab with her though, she would never let her ride in a cab alone. But yeah who knows the skill the cab driver had. My point was that I was proud that she had listened when dh and I told her not to ride with someone who had been drinking. Thankfully, she stuck to that rule though high school (she went to public school) and never rode with anyone who was drinking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 It wouldn't bother me. I think having a beer or glass of wine with dinner is rather normal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 One drink? With a meal? No problem. Multiple drinks? Problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 One drink, with a meal? No problem with it. If they were intoxicated then obviously I would have a problem with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 I wouldn't have issue with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiveOaksAcademy Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 (edited) . Edited October 24, 2011 by FiveOaksAcademy Walking away Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helena Posted October 23, 2011 Author Share Posted October 23, 2011 (edited) . Edited October 24, 2011 by helena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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