Soror Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 At a local private school parents are not allowed to visit, planned or unplanned or to go on any field trips w/ the kids. Parents are not to be in the class period unless invited, like for conferences. This is for all grades from k-12. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillian Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 I can understand the unplanned drop in of parents but planned - especially if there is an issue going on - bugs me. Furthermore the banning from field trips seems odd. But that's jmo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulieH Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 That's plain weird. My child would never be attending a school where I didn't have access to them at any time, or the right to drop in (not to disrupt a class, but say, to bring something to the office or something like that) Not my cup of tea... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 overkill. my kids wouldn't attend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 I would wonder what they're trying to hide. Most schools complain about too little parent involvement! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBasil Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 I'd assume they had trouble with a small group of parents who showed up to cause to trouble or brought real problems with them that affected the kids/faculty/security, so had to have some sort of blanket policy. That said, I find it troublesome and I would not have my kids attend a school with that policy, particularly one I was paying tuition for! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 I would wonder what the school was trying to hide and would not send my kids there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 I'd assume they had trouble with a small group of parents who showed up to cause to trouble or brought real problems with them that affected the kids/faculty/security, so had to have some sort of blanket policy. I've seen this kind of trouble stirred up by parents at a school my boys used to attend. The school was great, but there were too many parents who all had strong feelings about how their children should treated, or should be moved up a year, or should be given extra writing/math/reading lessons on their own. When they didn't get what they wanted they made life hell for the teachers. We actually left the school because the whole atmosphere was so unhealthy, and eventually, of course, ended up homeschooling :001_smile:. Some other parents also left and moved to other schools, where their demands were again ignored, so they moved again, and again ... The damage I saw caused at that school by pushy, self-centred, demanding parents was tragic for the team of very dedicated, talented teachers. As in all areas of life, 'boundaries' are important. I would be very happy to leave my children at a school where I was expected to respect their boundaries. My eldest, DS12, is at a school just a ten minute walk from home; I only ever go near for plays, concerts, sporting events or parents evenings. Cassy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 I've seen this kind of trouble stirred up by parents at a school my boys used to attend. The school was great, but there were too many parents who all had strong feelings about how their children should treated, or should be moved up a year, or should be given extra writing/math/reading lessons on their own. When they didn't get what they wanted they made life hell for the teachers. We actually left the school because the whole atmosphere was so unhealthy, and eventually, of course, ended up homeschooling :001_smile:. Some other parents also left and moved to other schools, where their demands were again ignored, so they moved again, and again ... The damage I saw caused at that school by pushy, self-centred, demanding parents was tragic for the team of very dedicated, talented teachers. As in all areas of life, 'boundaries' are important. I would be very happy to leave my children at a school where I was expected to respect their boundaries. My eldest, DS12, is at a school just a ten minute walk from home; I only ever go near for plays, concerts, sporting events or parents evenings. Cassy We have seen this in public schools, too. The sense of community and being part of a larger organization is gone today, and instead of room mothers bringing in snacks you have parents who want, want, want for their own child. I can completely understand why a school would need to do it. Also, there are many parents whom I wouldn't want on a field trip with my child or in their classroom. If parents are a bad influence to the students, you have to ban them. And you can't just ban the bad influences, you have to make blanket policies, unfortunately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AHASRADA Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 I was looking into a Sunday school for my dc that had a "no parents in class, not even for observation" policy. That was the end of our investigation into that school ;). Their current Sunday school is always open to parents, welcoming (and strongly encouraging) parent and sibling volunteers. I know it is easier to find a Sunday school than a full-time private school, but I would do my best to find one that were more closely aligned with my parenting values. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wabi Sabi Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 My children went to a Montessori school with a similar policy. Parents were invited into the classroom on special occasions but it wasn't an everyday occurrence. It made sense to me: parents dropping in really can be a disruption. However, all of the classrooms had an observation room with a 2-way mirror and parents could drop by to watch anytime, completely unannounced. The teachers didn't even have to know you were observing. Also, parent volunteers were often recruited for field trips. I had no issue with the policy at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted October 15, 2011 Author Share Posted October 15, 2011 My children went to a Montessori school with a similar policy. Parents were invited into the classroom on special occasions but it wasn't an everyday occurrence. It made sense to me: parents dropping in really can be a disruption. However, all of the classrooms had an observation room with a 2-way mirror and parents could drop by to watch anytime, completely unannounced. The teachers didn't even have to know you were observing. Also, parent volunteers were often recruited for field trips. I had no issue with the policy at all. I don't see that as similar at all. Parent volunteers are not allowed and certainly not recruited for field trips. Parents are not allowed to see their kids in class at all either, no 2 way mirrors, not if planned or in any way at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 I wouldn't send my child there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 Our son does musical theater and they performed for 2200 kids on Thursday/Friday. After we seated the school kids for one show, I had multiple ushers complain about one school's teachers who pushed their kids down the stairs and into their seats. Several kids fell down stairs and when our ushers intervened, the teachers told them since they weren't teachers they didn't understand how to handle kids and for us to back off. Um, look around- the other teachers didn't treat their kids that way. After the show began we all wondered how those kids are treated back at school in their closed classroom. And we noticed there were no parents with that school- just teachers. We rarely see that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 I can understand the unplanned drop in of parents but planned - especially if there is an issue going on - bugs me. Furthermore the banning from field trips seems odd. But that's jmo :iagree: It's odd. If they lack the fortitude to stand up to problem parents, then I'd start questioning their ability to "control" the education of my children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 I would wonder what the school was trying to hide and would not send my kids there. :iagree: No way would I give a school the authority to deny me access to MY children, ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laundrycrisis Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 :iagree: No way would I give a school the authority to deny me access to MY children, ever. :iagree: This is one of my biggest reasons for homeschooling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 That would be reason #937 for why we homeschool. Other people do not get to dictate the terms of access to my children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 Denying access to my kids to me means that if I show up at school, they won't let my child come to me. My guess is that it's disruptive if there are parents sitting in the class to observe all the time. When I was an elementary school kid it was disruptive, and I see the same thing in classes outside of school as well. When I helped out in a library program if the parents stayed the kids never listened or paid attention that well, often including the ones whose parents insisted they were needed. As far as field trips, if the adult to child ration is already good, then they don't need helpers. More adults probably just causes more confusion and fuss. If I had concerns about what went on in classes, I'd ask the school how they felt they could resolve the issue in a mutually agreeable way, not assume they were trying to hide something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elise1mds Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 That's bizarre. I can't imagine sending my child to a school where I couldn't wander in, check in with the office, and have lunch with my kid on any given day. I can't imagine not going on the field trips... what do they do if they sign up for a field trip that requires a certain adult-to-child ratio? That's just freaky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted October 15, 2011 Author Share Posted October 15, 2011 Denying access to my kids to me means that if I show up at school, they won't let my child come to me. It is my understanding that is not allowed either, unless it was for a very good reason, it is certainly discouraged. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 It is my understanding that is not allowed either, unless it was for a very good reason, it is certainly discouraged. Well, why would someone show up at school and pull their kid out of class without a good reason? It's rude and disruptive, like taking a phone call while in a lecture. If I were the teacher I'd be really annoyed by people buggering my lessons for frivolous reasons or on a whim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 That's bizarre. I can't imagine sending my child to a school where I couldn't wander in, check in with the office, and have lunch with my kid on any given day. I can't imagine not going on the field trips... what do they do if they sign up for a field trip that requires a certain adult-to-child ratio? That's just freaky. It wasn't clear to me that they were not allowed to see their child during the lunch break. My impression was that it was during class. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted October 15, 2011 Author Share Posted October 15, 2011 No, it is my understanding parents aren't supposed to visit, period. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 I would wonder what the school was trying to hide and would not send my kids there. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tress Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 That's the normal policy in the Netherlands. Parents visiting their child in class is totally foreign to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted October 15, 2011 Author Share Posted October 15, 2011 That's the normal policy in the Netherlands. Parents visiting their child in class is totally foreign to me. Starting at what age? And are parents allowed on out of campus trips? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 I would wonder what they're trying to hide. ! :iagree::iagree::iagree: I think it's a given they are nothing like Pratchett's Miss Susan (who apparently makes Miss Frizzle look sedate, and doesn't allow *anyone* in her classroom, not even other school personnel. but the children adore her and behave very well.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 Having worked at a small private school, I totally understand this policy. Parents are disruptive. The school where I worked was nowhere near as strict as that and parents routinely dropped things off their kids during the day and a few times we had parents visit classes. I'm not fond of black and white policies like that in general. However, if you put your kid in school you simply don't have the right to show up and if the teachers say they don't want you there, planned or unplanned, you shouldn't be there. If you aren't comfortable with that, then you shouldn't have your kid in school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 Nope. These kinds of policies just give me another reason to home educate my kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tress Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 Starting at what age? And are parents allowed on out of campus trips? Age 4. Compulsory schooling starts at age 5, but most (99%) children start school at age 4. Some schools allow parents to accompany the child the first few days, some schools not even that or only the first morning. With school trips, they sometimes ask for parent voluntairs to drive the kids or to accompany the kids on a biking trip. Some schools have a yearly sports day and then they sometimes need parents to help referee etc. Other than that, nothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mynyel Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 Yea, I just would let my kids go there. No WAY anyone is going to tell me I can't be around my kids. Nope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 We are very fortunate to have my son attend a very highly functioning public elementary school. A big part of the schools success is due to parent involvement in the classrooms as volunteers The principal and teachers are forward-thinking and welcome (and even solicit) classroom help. With budget cuts there would be no field trips without volunteer parent drivers, so people pitch in to help. Schools that try to disinvolve parents are making a serious mistake IMO. Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheApprentice Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 That policy would scare me to death. What don't they want you to see/know? :sneaky2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Disturbing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehog Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 I voted, and then saw the poll results. *snort* Clearly such a policy wouldn't be popular if a school was made up of our kids! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Other: I really have no feeling about it because my kids have never been in school. I don't know how common this is or the reasons for it in a particular school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ailaena Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 I can certainly imagine what led to this policy, but it's really overkill. In my mind, parents should always be allowed to chaperone field trips and, if needed, in-class parent volunteers should have a scheduled time to arrive with clear duties outlined for them. In real life, parents can sometimes be more hinderful than helpful in a classroom, and I can tell you many, many horror stories about parents' behavior on field trips...:glare: At the end of the day, though, I believe that education needs to involve the entire family for it to create lifelong learners, so what message is this policy sending to the kids? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewellsmommy Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 This is a difficult one because... as the parent of my child, I would want unfettered access to my child and his/her environment. However, I would not want some other parent having unfettered access to the environment that also includes my child. If there were a bunch of parents coming and going it might get difficult for a teacher to be on top of everything. What if one of those parents was a little too friendly and had ulterior motives. Call me paranoid, I know, but I have been so surrounded by children who have been victimized by adults that they should have been able to trust...:crying: So, anyway, I'm a paranoid hypocrite. And there is a school out there that is probably quite happy that I homeschool instead :D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 I feel like the reaction on this has been a little over the top. Can you imagine being a teacher in a class and having to deal with parents dropping by whenever they see fit - even if it's announced? I don't think this is a policy to disinvolve parents, as Bill said. For all we know, the school may have lots of other ways in which parents are involved - afterschool programs, lunch programs, enrichment programs, community events like school carnivals and pep rallies and the like. This policy as stated above sounds to me like they're saying unless you've been specifically invited (and for all we know if there are issues, they may specifically invite you to observe) then you don't have a right to come visit classes or go on field trips. Having a parent visit class usually throws off the whole day. It's not pleasant from the teacher or the students' perspective. Like I said, I'm not fond of policies that have no flexibility for common sense. However, I've dealt with private school parents and... no offense to any private school parents here, but I can easily imagine a need for a policy at many schools because when you pay tens of thousands of dollars for your child's education, sometimes it makes you feel like you have the right to go in and micromanage things or have access to the teacher, the environment and the school whenever you want. If every parent had that, the school simply could not function. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 My oldest dd has been in a private school since kindergarten, and they have no such policies. I would not let my child attend this school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizaG Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 That's bizarre. I can't imagine sending my child to a school where I couldn't wander in, check in with the office, and have lunch with my kid on any given day. I can't imagine not going on the field trips... what do they do if they sign up for a field trip that requires a certain adult-to-child ratio? That's just freaky. When you were a child, did your parents wander in to the school just to hang out with you? Mine sure didn't, and neither did anyone else's. In those days (~30 years ago), that would have seemed bizarre and freaky. :confused: I can see people not liking this policy -- especially if they're used to being very involved in the details of their child's education -- but I'm not sure why so many find it shocking. It seems to me that it was the usual way that schools operated for a very long time, up to the last generation or so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Here all parents that go on field trips have to have a working with children clearance and police check. The school has to have received the correct paperwork from both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 We are very fortunate to have my son attend a very highly functioning public elementary school. A big part of the schools success is due to parent involvement in the classrooms as volunteers The principal and teachers are forward-thinking and welcome (and even solicit) classroom help. With budget cuts there would be no field trips without volunteer parent drivers, so people pitch in to help. Schools that try to disinvolve parents are making a serious mistake IMO. Bill :iagree: The schools in my town are VERY good and I know they rely a lot on parent volunteers. I knew that if I sent my kids to school, I would have been there all. the. time. (volunteering in one classroom or the other). So, I decided I might as well spend the time at home, doing it myself.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 :iagree: No way would I give a school the authority to deny me access to MY children, ever. Yup. This. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 I am another person who would automatically wonder what they are hiding. Nope, I would tell them to have a super great day and then turn and leave. See ya later alligator. I'll take my money to another school that embraces parent interest and participation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desertmum Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Yup. This. I am another person who would automatically wonder what they are hiding. Nope, I would tell them to have a super great day and then turn and leave. See ya later alligator. I'll take my money to another school that embraces parent interest and participation. :iagree: I don't like being excluded from field trips. I have seen a couple of ugly things happen during these. One case involved sexual abuse. I don't mean to say I want to come along on every single field trip, but I wish to be given the option to attend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily_Grace Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 I would love to see more schools designed with two way mirrors and small passthroughs or closetlike rooms between every two classrooms. That way parents, administrators and visitors could observe without interrupting or distracting the class. ETA: a school that expects parents to be totally hands off is not the school for my children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tress Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 I have been thinking about this some more, because the whole concept is a bit foreign to me. This is a difficult one because... as the parent of my child, I would want unfettered access to my child and his/her environment. However, I would not want some other parent having unfettered access to the environment that also includes my child. If there were a bunch of parents coming and going it might get difficult for a teacher to be on top of everything. What if one of those parents was a little too friendly and had ulterior motives. Call me paranoid, I know, but I have been so surrounded by children who have been victimized by adults that they should have been able to trust. I'm with Tammy on this one. *I* would want unlimitted access to my kids, but that would also mean that Mr So-and-so would be able to 'hang out' with his kid *and* my kid at lunch or in the classroom. If that were the case, I or my husband would want to be there every minute. Which in turn would cause other parents to want to be there evry minute to make sure that nothing happens to their children :001_huh:. In essence we would all be guarding our children. At school. :001_huh: When you were a child, did your parents wander in to the school just to hang out with you? Mine sure didn't, and neither did anyone else's. In those days (~30 years ago), that would have seemed bizarre and freaky. :confused: :iagree: I would love to see more schools designed with two way mirrors and small passthroughs or closetlike rooms between every two classrooms. That way parents, administrators and visitors could observe without interrupting or distracting the class. This is practice in most childcare facilities here, but I'm wondering until what age you would like to do this? I'm wondering if it is healthy for a kid, say a 10yo, to be in an environment where it knows it can always be watched without it knowing when, by a parent or the parent of another kid or a teacher/administrator. *I* would not want to be in an environment like that everyday. Difficult topic, this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted October 16, 2011 Author Share Posted October 16, 2011 I am trying to get perspective on this as I have a friend who has enrolled her child in said school. This school is attached to a church notoriously referred to as cult-like(my friend isn't a member of said church though). They are notoriously strict and from my understanding, no they don't want parent involvement period. I also believe they do corporal punishment as well. I've kept my mouth shout as it isn't my decision to make and I love and respect my friend. However, it goes against my entire parenting and schooling philosophy. Just the way it all is phrased icks me out. I cannot see any parent just going in whenever, my parents never did. But the way this has been phrased and is talked about seems way over the top for me, especially as it starts w/ K. In K I remember standards were not that strict. It is also not the policy of any of the other schools public or private locally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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