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HUGE, MAJOR breakthrough with my RAD dd!


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Yes, my dd as well! She told me things about her finding time, which I didn't know. Later, when I finally ordered her finding ad, I got to do the translation myself, and what she said was verified that way.

 

One of the many books we had to read in prep for our adoption talked about how normal events don't imprint on babies, because everything is, well, normal. However, if something traumatic happens, it can be remembered. The book (gosh I wish I remember which one) also talked about how most babies are born with a certain understanding of what is right/normal.

 

do you think those finding ads are real and accurate for everyone? Obviously yours was validated, but I've often wondered.............

 

Can you actually find the bm by the finding ad?

 

I was always so skeptical that I never pursued the finding ad.

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I am so very happy for you all. I have read many of your posts in the past, and I know you have experienced great pain during this journey. It is so very wonderful that your daughter is making such progress, and that you are able to share in it. You so deserve happiness together. Thank you for sharing your joy!

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do you think those finding ads are real and accurate for everyone? Obviously yours was validated, but I've often wondered.............

 

Can you actually find the bm by the finding ad?

 

I was always so skeptical that I never pursued the finding ad.

 

NO, I don't think they, or the police reports, are particularly accurate. I think some are downright fiction. There's something strange around my dd's situation. Everything was an anomoly with her case, compared to every other child at the orphanage. I think someone there knows a bit more than they let on.

 

Some folks have been successful at finding birthmothers. Ask around on some yahoo groups. My dd has a strong desire to find hers. She realized one day though that her fantasy of going back to China would mean leaving her life here behind, and it really made her think. I told her there's nothing wrong with havng that fantasy, and that maybe she's just seeing her future, and it helped settle her a bit. I told her that reuniting the parts of her were something probably best pursued once she's done growing here, but that she'd better keep up with her Chinese studies, or it would be hard going once she went back to China! ;)

 

I sure hope it's possible for her some day! It's been a hole in her heart since day 1.

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NO, I don't think they, or the police reports, are particularly accurate. I think some are downright fiction. There's something strange around my dd's situation. Everything was an anomoly with her case, compared to every other child at the orphanage. I think someone there knows a bit more than they let on.

 

Some folks have been successful at finding birthmothers. Ask around on some yahoo groups. My dd has a strong desire to find hers. She realized one day though that her fantasy of going back to China would mean leaving her life here behind, and it really made her think. I told her there's nothing wrong with havng that fantasy, and that maybe she's just seeing her future, and it helped settle her a bit. I told her that reuniting the parts of her were something probably best pursued once she's done growing here, but that she'd better keep up with her Chinese studies, or it would be hard going once she went back to China! ;)

 

I sure hope it's possible for her some day! It's been a hole in her heart since day 1.

 

HUGE.HUGE!!!

 

That's intriguing about your dd. I wish someone would come forward so your dd can have peace.

 

Edited because this is a HAPPY, HAPPY thread! :)

Edited by Denisemomof4
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I am so, so, so happy for all of you!!!!!!!

 

God is so good and works in mysterious ways for sure!!!

 

It's waterworks over here - very happy tears.

 

I hope that your experience is encouraging for other families in a similar situation, not necessarily that all will have a breakthrough of this kind, but realizing that all the love you've poured into her has been received even if it wasn't outwardly acknowledged.

 

As for an answer to the question of why her mother gave her up, sometimes that is the most loving thing they could possibly do for their child. Explain the realities of their one child policy and maybe let her know that many mothers abort their children, or worse (you may want to wait a few years on this). Explain that it's actually against the law there to give up their child, so those brave enough to do that, have to hide their pregnancy and bring their child in the cover of night, to where they will be found. Explain that her mom loved her so much that she was willing to give her up to allow her to have a better life and to have the love of her new family. Let her know that she can love her birth mother and pray for her too. What her birth mom would want most is for her to be happy. Just some thoughts.

 

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!! :001_smile:

 

ETA: Denise I was writing this post when your post above posted. So now I can see that my suggestions on the answer to her question aren't at all helpful as her situation was different since she was 2 yo. :grouphug:

Edited by Teachin'Mine
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