You might also look into some of the books/conferences by Karyn Purvis as I hear very good things about her work. http://empoweredtoconnect.org/ I haven't read "The Connected Child" yet, but friends have said she is just very intuitive about what kids need in general, and found it helpful in parenting their bio kiddos as well.

Yes. Please...PLEASE have her save the info. The majority of states either deny adoptees the rights to their own information regarding original identity/birth parents, or give only very limited rights to that information. While adoptee access is improving, the change is slow going. It is extremely disheartening to see adopted adults denied by law the same basic information of self other citizens are able to obtain by right. She does not have to make contact on his behalf. She does not have to share the information before she believes the time is right. But PLEASE tell her to save it, because if someday he does want to search it's possible that this is the only way he would be able to obtain that information.

You might be able to access the link from theif Facebook page too.

What is a FOID card? We're also moving to Illinois over the summer. Thanks!

Sorry, I don't have time to read through the entire thread, so maybe someone has already said this. To me, this sounds like a situation where she is choosing a permanent solution for a temporary problem. They will not always be in this financial situation, but if she aborts, their child will always be gone. I think there is more possiblity of regret if she chooses to abort than if she continues with the pregnancy.

My husband is pushing for putting them back in school when we move. :001_unsure: We have one going into 8th, and having him go back for high school has always beena possibility for us. Can you give any feedback about Antioch, Lakes, or Libertyville schools? We do not want the bigger highschools like Stevenson, even though the scores are very good. Antioch's scores and not so great, but then I wonder if you go somewhere like LIbertyville, where the scores are higher, is that just a ton of pressure for the kids?? Again, any and all advice/info/etc is welcome! We go househunting this weekend.

You're absolutely right. There is some concern about the term "unwed" and so I switched it out for "single", but you're totally right. And, the stigma is really directed at moms who became moms "out of wedlock".

It's heartbreaking to me how similar it all is to the Baby Scoop Era, with huge pressure to place because of shame, stigma, and lack of support.:(

Oh my goodness, that's awful. I had no idea that was still allowed anywhere. :sad:

I thought some here might be interested in this article. It offers some insight into the plight single moms in South Korea face, and links to some ways to offer support. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/08/world/asia/08mothers.html?_r=1#

I think we should care about what race our children are. It is an important, awsome part of their being. My daughter is Korean. I love her Korean-ness. It's part of who she is. I think I honor her much more by talking about that with her and aknowledging the fact that she is Asian. She may or may not struggle with being a different race than we are. She might be fine now, but experience a period of struggle later. I've read many adult transricially adoptee adoptees (raised in white families) who talk about having to come to terms with their race because they felt white and thought of themselves as white. The person they saw in the mirror did not match the person they thought of themselves as being, and it took a lot of work to finally come to terms with that. My dd is Asian. She is Korean. And that's just great. : )

We are also a transracial family. Aditionally, I am an adult adoptee. Adoptees can struggle more than the general population with issues of identity. Adoptees in closed adoptions (and most international adoptions would fal into this category) have no genetic mirroring available to connect them to ...well, to anything. This experience of looking like others or seeing your characteristeics, talents, etc. reflected in others is important in developing identity and in seeing oneself as connected to the world. The adoptee has extra emotional work to do, and the transracially adopted person has an even more complex task.

I have a Yukon XL that might be a 2004 or 2005. IT seats 7 and has a huge area behind the third row. We are starting to look at our options for replacing it and will probably go with the same or a Suburban. We've looked at some other SUVs too, but the thing is that with a family of 6, you really need that back space when it comes time to go camping or on vacation. Many of the smaller SUVs just lack that cargo space I think we need -- oh, we have a lab too -- so we we'll stick with the big gas guzzlers for a while longer.

I feel your pain. The additional problem at our house is that after lunch we tend to lose mom too.:blushing:

Oh no!!:svengo: