photomo Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Maybe I'm letting this bother me and probably should just let it go. My neighbors seem to just help themselves to things in our yard to use. We came home a couple of weeks ago and they were sitting in their back yard around a fire pit. I though oh they got a new fire pit, oh they got a fire pit just like ours... then they yell over at us. Hey we're using your fire pit hope you don't mind. Well the last week I have come several times and they are in our back yard with their 2 year old playing in my daughters play house or on her playground equipment or playing on her riding toys. Is it me or shouldn't a normal person ask permission before coming on your property and using your stuff? I guess if they would ask I would be ok with it but it bothers me they never ask. Plus could I be liable if they get hurt while on my property? Am I over reacting? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DusksAngel Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Unless I'd told them to come over and help themselves, yes, I'd mind a lot. I wouldn't mind the child coming and playing WITH my daughters, but not when we're not home. It's also a liabilty issue with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillian Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 I would be livid. It's not just you. If they get hurt on your property most likely you could be held liable regardless if they were there without your permission and without your knowledge. I would speak to them and let them know they need to ask your permission or check with out or however you want to word it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvnlattes Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 No, you are not over-reacting! I can't imagine anyone doing this and thinking it's okay!!! They are being extremely rude and presumptuous as well as trespassing on your property! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Good fences make good neighbors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jana Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 (edited) Their behavior is totally inappropriate; they need help with boundaries. I would simply tell them (as calmly as I was able) that you don't want them to use your belongings or enter your property without your permission. And because they clearly have boundary issues, the first time they asked I would tell them no. I wouldn't want them to think that asking for permission is just some cursory action; I really have a say over what happens with my own property. They likely will take offense. That is their issue--not yours. Edited October 10, 2011 by Jana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Unless you are extremely close with them, I'd be miffed. I mean, who in the world comes in someone's yard and uses their things??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 No, you are not over-reacting! I can't imagine anyone doing this and thinking it's okay!!! They are being extremely rude and presumptuous as well as trespassing on your property! :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 No, you are not over-reacting! I can't imagine anyone doing this and thinking it's okay!!! They are being extremely rude and presumptuous as well as trespassing on your property! :iagree: Is your property fenced? Maybe a pretty red "no trespassing" sign would help? I'd be livid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Yes, a normal person should ask before using your things. And yes, it is rude of them to just assume you'll be okay with them taking your things. That said though, of all the neighbor problems I've read about on this board, if that's ALL their doing, you're in good shape. If they were taking and breaking my things I'd definitely talk to them about it. If they were just using my stuff and returning it unharmed, I'd just suck it up and thank the Lord I had "friendly" neighbors. But I HATE confrontation, so I'm sort of a doormat unless there's danger, damage or real boundary breaking going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
photomo Posted October 10, 2011 Author Share Posted October 10, 2011 I would love to put up a privacy fence but we have over an acre and that would be very costly. We are not close with the neighbors at all. I am so nervous about saying something to them because I hate confrontation but this is really bugging me.. Maybe I can have my hubby do it :) Thanks for letting me know I'm not over reacting. I don't want to be the rude neighbor that causes problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 I would love to put up a privacy fence but we have over an acre and that would be very costly. Yeah, but maybe you only need a fence on the line between their land and yours... ;) And yes, their behavior would seriously irk me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillian Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 I would love to put up a privacy fence but we have over an acre and that would be very costly. We are not close with the neighbors at all. I am so nervous about saying something to them because I hate confrontation but this is really bugging me.. Maybe I can have my hubby do it :) Thanks for letting me know I'm not over reacting. I don't want to be the rude neighbor that causes problems. I would show a united front, make it so there is no misunderstanding that they can't circumvent you or him by going to the other. This isn't like you hate that they have people over and park in front of your house periodically this could seriously come back to bite you in the butt. Especially if y'all aren't close I would say something. If it doesn't stop and you have talked to them and put up No Trespassing warnings (either staked like an alarm sign) you have legal reason to go to the police. Not saying you would want to but you have legal and understandable reasons to seek police intervention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 I would love to put up a privacy fence but we have over an acre and that would be very costly. We are not close with the neighbors at all. I am so nervous about saying something to them because I hate confrontation but this is really bugging me.. Maybe I can have my hubby do it :) Thanks for letting me know I'm not over reacting. I don't want to be the rude neighbor that causes problems. You could do a privacy fence around an area behind your house, and put up a wire fence around the rest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvnlattes Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Thanks for letting me know I'm not over reacting. I don't want to be the rude neighbor that causes problems. Remember, you are NOT the rude neighbor causing problems. They are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Maybe I'm letting this bother me and probably should just let it go. My neighbors seem to just help themselves to things in our yard to use. We came home a couple of weeks ago and they were sitting in their back yard around a fire pit. I though oh they got a new fire pit, oh they got a fire pit just like ours... then they yell over at us. Hey we're using your fire pit hope you don't mind. Well the last week I have come several times and they are in our back yard with their 2 year old playing in my daughters play house or on her playground equipment or playing on her riding toys. Is it me or shouldn't a normal person ask permission before coming on your property and using your stuff? I guess if they would ask I would be ok with it but it bothers me they never ask. Plus could I be liable if they get hurt while on my property? Am I over reacting? No. I would put up a fence with a combination lock on gate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMe Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 (edited) Let it go? When is it acceptable these days to not let other neighbors or children respect others' property. I guess I don't understand the thought process in even considering that it's okay. If not for any other reason then it's common courtesy at least to ask. I'd hate to find them coming over when you're having personal moments in your home only to find someone roaming your backyard at their leisure. They should ask. And they're being the rude neighbor. At what point would you consider it being okay for them to use your stuff is the question. I find their behavior highly disrespectful, if not creepy. Edited October 10, 2011 by alilac Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plink Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 I love having people over. I don't mind people borrowing anything at all. BUT I would NOT be okay with this. It is just plain weird. Who takes an acquaintance's fire pit without asking?:confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
photomo Posted October 10, 2011 Author Share Posted October 10, 2011 The thing is She has my cell phone # so even if we are not home she could have always called or texted to ask. I was at my moms yesterday and she texted me a picture of her son playing in my daughters play house. I'm going to think of how to word this to her with out trying to sound like a witch . Have I told you yet I don't like confrontation?? LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverland Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 This behavior would actually be considered quite normal in our neighborhood. The core group of neighbors have been here 15+ years and one family in particular was an open-door, open-yard, open-pool, everybody's welcome type. It was not uncommon to come home and find their kids playing in our yard. It really bothered me at first, but after realizing how much they wanted to share their stuff too, I adjusted my attitude. However, I do not think this type of neighborly arrangement would work for everyone! It takes the right combination of families and personalities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 The thing is She has my cell phone # so even if we are not home she could have always called or texted to ask. I was at my moms yesterday and she texted me a picture of her son playing in my daughters play house. I'm going to think of how to word this to her with out trying to sound like a witch . Have I told you yet I don't like confrontation?? LOL you could always go the practical route. If something happens to one of them on your property or with your stuff, their homeowners insurance could sue your homeowners insurance. They might say, oh we would never do that! They wouldn't have a say. The insurance companies make those decisions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 This behavior would actually be considered quite normal in our neighborhood. The core group of neighbors have been here 15+ years and one family in particular was an open-door, open-yard, open-pool, everybody's welcome type. It was not uncommon to come home and find their kids playing in our yard. It really bothered me at first, but after realizing how much they wanted to share their stuff too, I adjusted my attitude. However, I do not think this type of neighborly arrangement would work for everyone! It takes the right combination of families and personalities. This only works until something bad happens. Once something happens and someone sues or someones insurance company sues, all the sudden the arrangement won't look so peachy. I would NEVER have an open pool policy, that is just foolish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMe Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 The thing is She has my cell phone # so even if we are not home she could have always called or texted to ask. I was at my moms yesterday and she texted me a picture of her son playing in my daughters play house. I'm going to think of how to word this to her with out trying to sound like a witch . Have I told you yet I don't like confrontation?? LOL This person is creepy. Really. And really your DH should step in, not you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Good grief! Serious, serious boundary issues! Going onto somebody else's property (or into their home or whatever) and taking things without their permission has a name: theft. Laws regarding such were put in place because of people like them. There is no delicate way to tell someone who hasn't grasped the fact that this is not ok. If you don't want to do it, let your husband be the bad guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieJ Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 My husband does not borrow things either way very easily but has a pretty good relationship with our next door neighbors. He borrows their wheelbarrow, they use our extra parking space. We would not under any circumstances be comfortable with what your neighbor is doing. They need to be told to stop, cease immediately. And then they sent you pictures????????? Wow. Write a letter if you need to, but they need to be told to stay out unless invited. And then I wouldn't invite them. Ever. It sounds as if they would run with any invitation or lending you offered them and take it as an open policy for everything you have. Where does it end? Do they find a way into the house next? Really, you need to nip it in the bud immediately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fleur de Lis Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Plus could I be liable if they get hurt while on my property THIS is exactly right. My hubby is an attorney and as nice and friendly as he always is, he does not feel at all comfortable with having uninvited people do ANYTHING in our yard because this is true, we can get sued if anyone gets hurt. He adds that if people come in our yard and we are not explicit in letting them know they are not invited, legally it can be construed that we are JUST FINE with them coming (even if we didn't invite them) and we are liable for them. If something happens to one of them on your property or with your stuff, their homeowners insurance could sue your homeowners insurance. They might say, oh we would never do that! They wouldn't have a say. The insurance companies make those decisions. Yep. Remember, you are NOT the rude neighbor causing problems. They are. Definitely Yep. Confrontation is no fun, that's true, but they put you in this situation, not the other way around. You can't please everybody in life, so at least make sure you feel like you are not being walked all over because your neighbors are rude. FWIW you don't have to be really rude back, you can very nicely talk to them and not make a big deal about it. They might not realize that it makes you uncomfortable. I'd only really have a confrontation conversation about it if the problem persisted after a very friendly mention of your concern. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Even if a privacy fence is not an option at this point even a low but high enough to have to step over decorative fence or border of some type on the property line might be enough to give them the hint. It would at least make it harder to move your firepit and to get a young child into your yard. You could even tell them that you were concerned about their child coming over on his/her own without their knowledge and getting hurt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 That is incredibly rude and unacceptable and yes it would bother me a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 (edited) My neighbors seem to just help themselves to things in our yard to use. Is it me or shouldn't a normal person ask permission before coming on your property and using your stuff? Am I over reacting? is that a serious question? :confused: Heck no you are not overreacting - they are WAY over the line on propriety. How to get them to stop is another problem. Hopefully just telling them you need them to no longer take things from your property for their use will be adequate. whatever is said to let them know you want this stopped - do not be wishy washy, be FIRM and direct. some people will take being wishy-washy as meaning you aren't serious. You'd hate to think something had been stolen and find out it was them only after filing a police report. ;) (can they take a hint? or subtle threat?) short of that - build a shed with a lock and key and lock everything up. Edited October 10, 2011 by gardenmom5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Yep, if you don't say something now, it could legally be taken as approval. You need to set boundaries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Big boundary issues. I agree with going over as couple with your husband, or just telling them next time you see them in your yard. Like maybe this, if you see them sitting in your yard--Walk up to them and say "Hi, So and So, how are you? Listen, this is a little awkward for us to say, but could you please make sure to ask next time you'd like to visit our yard? We're just the type of folks who prefer to invite neighbors over ourselves." If they hang around--"Well, it's been good talking with you. We have to go in now--We'll see if we can maybe get together another time. Nice to see you." If they get the hint and get up to leave, great--if not, stand there and smile expectantly. If still not, you can be more blunt--"We'll be sure to invite you over another time. We need our privacy now." Depends on what lunkheads they are if they get it or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 (edited) Use a chain and lock the fire pit to a metal stake pounded into the ground. Also - tell them they may not come onto your property without an invitation from you - insurance issues, and privacy. When the mom calls either of you to ask permission, keep saying "Oh, we are not home, so no" or "Oh, (your kid's name) doesn't want to come out and play with (their kid's name) so no" or simply "This is not a good time, so no" or "Not now - how about tomorrow at 2?" etc. I'd also make a point of actually inviting them to come over when you are up for company - so they get the idea to wait for an invitation. If possible, fence off the play area and have a locking gate for when you are not home? Plant thorny hedges between the houses? Just speak up. They may be simply clueless. Edited October 10, 2011 by JFSinIL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMCassandra Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Wow. I have one word for you: FENCE. I don't have time to read the other replies, but you have a right to be annoyed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clementine Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 We used to come home and find our backyard playset littered with candy wrappers....along with a trail of candy wrappers that led to the neighbor's house. The neighbors would have their kids use our playset only when they knew we were gone. So, after a month or so, I saw the mom outside & said to her "Would you mind having your kids come over & pick up the candy wrappers they left in our backyard this weekend?" She was flustered, embarassed, and apologized for them. That's the last time we know that they had the kids come over uninvited. :D I agree with staking down the firepit. If the daughter's playhouse is small enough to bring into your garage when you're gone, I'd consider that too. What a pain!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the evolving homemaker Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Good fences make good neighbors. I agree and can't figure out how to get the dude with the sign! :) lol. i would be severely uncomfortable with that. limits people. when we came home from a three day camping trip ALL of our corn growing in our side yard had been picked. SO annoying. humans need space as well as community and people should respect that space is essential to good relationships too. i would certainly say something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowbeltmom Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 You are definitely not over-reacting. It is best to say something now before the situation gets more out of hand - although using your firepit is pretty out of hand. We had a next door neighbor who also had serious boundary issues. I once came home from work earlier than usual and found her lawn sprinkler hose watering her lawn while it was connected to my water spicket! My husband and I had just moved into the house that spring. I was too afraid of confronting her so I ended up having to turn off our water each day before I left for work. Our water bill fell dramically after I did that so I am sure she was taking our water on a regular basis while we were at work. Another time I came home early and found her trimming her hedges using our outside electrical outlet. Again, I did not confront her, I only unplugged her cord from my outlet as I went into the house. Eventually, it got to the point where I banned her and her kids from our yard. Thankfully, she is no longer our next door neighbor. We were in our early twenties when we moved into the house. As I have gotten older, I have found that I am much less afraid of confrontations than I used to be. If something like this were to happen today, I would definitely handle it differently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rivka Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 If you don't think you can handle a direct confrontation, you could try something like this: "Hey, Jane, our insurance agent just told us that we could get into big trouble if we let people go on our property or use our tools without our permission. It seems that, if little Billy fell off the playset, your health insurance company could sue our homeowner's insurance policy for the medical bills. These corporations are crazy, huh? But from now on, you'd better call me first if you want to come by." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbkaren Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 If it were me, I'd try the diplomatic route: "Jane, I have a favor to ask - I really need you to give me a call if you're planning to borrow something from us. I just really like to know that things are the way we left them when we go out. And if you don't mind, please, we'd appreciate if your kids only come over if they're playing with our kids and we're home to supervise. I'd hate for anything bad to happen!" The fence route IMO, should be a "next step" if they disregard your courteous request. Because if that fence goes up, you never know what kind of neighbor they're going to turn into once they're offended...and I like to keep things cordial where possible. Even with clueless people; it's just so much less stressful. eta: Rivka, we both named our example neighbor Jane... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Are there any culture issues present? Folks from collective society upbringings this is super normal...and it's super normal as in "expected" in some parts of the country also. We used to have neighborhood setups like that...two neighbors would pitch in for purchases and share them...like snow blowers were shared, garden tools...I can't even think of all the stuff. It was really common to share key sets for the garage and share location of keys if there were an emergency say...at travel time for pets, mail, grass mowing, security...that sort of thing. Our neighbors always had our work numbers also. I always liked the system myself. Oftentimes, if major home improvements were going on - neighbors would canvas each other and create a bulk discount by providing work on more than just one house if it were a bid job..say driveways, roofing...windows..that sort of thing. Some folks from the West Coast do this in communities also. It could just be something like that...or... It could be that they are needing a talking to. Just depends on how you feel about it. If you aren't comfortable with it, speak up and solve it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hwin Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 I hope your husband is more comfortable with confrontation than you are, because this is a weird situation! I live fairly close to my parents' and I wouldn't dream of just borrowing their stuff without asking, or hanging out at their house when they weren't around (unless, I guess, my car breaks down in front of their house lol). Would they care? Would they say no? They would not have a problem with it at all... it's just rude not to ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Yeah, I'd mind. It's not that I wouldn't share, it's that they didn't ASK. I'd start with what Rivka said, and if they didn't accommodate my simple request, I'd tell them a fence was going up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 This person is creepy. Really. And really your DH should step in, not you. I agree. None of my friends knock. They just walk in my house and give a shout out. And I don't care if I'm home or not or what they do here. But your neighbors would freak me out. It sounds like you only need to fence that side of the property. Or put in a tall and thick prickly plant boundary. (Forsyth shrubs or a line of evergreen trees. ) Even barbed wire might send a clear signal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 You need to notify them in writing to get them to stop in general and to protect yourself when their child is injury doing something stupid and inappropriate with your dd's playhouse. If you don't permission will be assumed based on past behavior. Something like this: "Date" Dear Neighbor, There is a liability issue with anyone being on our property. Please do not enter our property to use items on our property or to pick up items we own and use on your property. If we are home you may call and find out if it is a convenient time to borrow an item, before you or one of your children come into the yard. There are times it may not be convenient to have people in our yard. If we are not home you will have to wait until we return to ask about an item. Thank you for abiding by this request. Signed, you and dh In a few weeks if problems continue, send a new letter referencing the first letter by date. Send the second letter certified mail. I put the line in about waiting until you return b/c you said neighbor would call your cell. If she does, just call or text back saying you do not want to give permission until you return home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Remember, you are NOT the rude neighbor causing problems. They are. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 yikes, that is really over the top rude/illegal. I would move the play house and all toys into the house or garage, and stake down the firepit with a chain or move it into the garage as well. If they don't take the hint, then I would send them the cease and desist letter, citing liability issues. Don't say manners or courtesy although of course those are factors, they just clearly aren't part of this family's dictionary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BatmansWife Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 :001_huh: Unreal. No....you shouldn't just let it go. They have not only overstepped their boundaries but property lines as well. Something has to be said. What does your dh think about all of this? Did they return the fire pit?? Are they coming over when you are around too.....or just when they know you are gone? Do you lock your doors when you leave (I can't imagine anyone not locking, but some people don't)? I would worry what else they might decide to do or help themselves to when you are away. Maybe the kid has to go potty and it's just too inconvenient to walk home and go....so they might go inside your house. Sheesh...I wouldn't put it past them. I actually find this whole thing shockingly bizarre (that the neighbors think this is ok). Not.cool. And.....in regard to the lady who would use the water and the electricity of the neighbor. Wow! That's outright stealing. The nerve of some people! :cursing: If it were me, I'd try the diplomatic route: "Jane, I have a favor to ask - I really need you to give me a call if you're planning to borrow something from us. I just really like to know that things are the way we left them when we go out. And if you don't mind, please, we'd appreciate if your kids only come over if they're playing with our kids and we're home to supervise. I'd hate for anything bad to happen!" The fence route IMO, should be a "next step" if they disregard your courteous request. Because if that fence goes up, you never know what kind of neighbor they're going to turn into once they're offended...and I like to keep things cordial where possible. Even with clueless people; it's just so much less stressful. eta: Rivka, we both named our example neighbor Jane... The problem with this advice (sorry!) is that I wouldn't want them to do any of those things either! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Wow. Just Wow. No, it isn;t okay and you need to stop it. It would make me livid if something like this happened. Others have given great advice. While I might try the personal approach first, I have a feeling it will not really be heeded. If you really don;t want any confrontation, build a fence and secure your belongings. But it would bug me to no end if I had to go to all that trouble because of such neighbors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 If it were me, I'd try the diplomatic route: "Jane, I have a favor to ask - I really need you to give me a call if you're planning to borrow something from us. I just really like to know that things are the way we left them when we go out. ... My concern about this is the suggestion the "borrowing" ('cause op sure wasn't lending) itself is okay. some people do not get "diplomatic", and nothing these people have done suggests they are. I really think the op/spouse need to be very firm and direct in conveying to the neighbors they want this to stop now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 You need to notify them in writing to get them to stop in general and to protect yourself when their child is injury doing something stupid and inappropriate with your dd's playhouse. If you don't permission will be assumed based on past behavior. Something like this: "Date" Dear Neighbor, There is a liability issue with anyone being on our property. Please do not enter our property to use items on our property or to pick up items we own and use on your property. If we are home you may call and find out if it is a convenient time to borrow an item, before you or one of your children come into the yard. There are times it may not be convenient to have people in our yard. If we are not home you will have to wait until we return to ask about an item. Thank you for abiding by this request. Signed, you and dh In a few weeks if problems continue, send a new letter referencing the first letter by date. Send the second letter certified mail. I put the line in about waiting until you return b/c you said neighbor would call your cell. If she does, just call or text back saying you do not want to give permission until you return home. :iagree: This would also solve the problem of a face-to-face confrontation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momma aimee Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 No, you are not over-reacting! I can't imagine anyone doing this and thinking it's okay!!! They are being extremely rude and presumptuous as well as trespassing on your property! :iagree: I'd call the cops Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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