Crystal in VA Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Good fences make good neighbors. :iagree: We have a privacy fence around our backyard. I don't mind sharing...but I get to decide when and with whom I wish to share! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grover Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 uh.. they didn't borrow your fire pit, they stole it. If I want to have a party can I rock along to the shop and borrow are barbecue? "Oh no, Police Officer, I wasn't stealing it, I was just borrowing it while they weren't using it." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momof3littles Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Totally inappropriate, unless you have a mutual understanding and it has been discussed that they can borrow things. Otherwise, heck no. My neighbors (7 and 5 yo) across the street are sometimes in my backyard when we get home from somewhere, and it really, really irritates me. Adults "borrowing" things without permission is even more jaw-dropping, because they really should know better! Neighbors can make one batty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homemama2 Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Ugh. I feel your pain. We HAVE a fence, yet I've come home more than once to my old neighbor inside my fence w/ her dog so that our dogs could "play together" (I was thinking that is aka: cr@p in my yard.) Thankfully she moved. Current neighbor has a leash so long on his dog that his little bitty dog actually can get under our picket fence and get in our yard. Then the other neighbor has a four year old boy that they let come over whenever he feels like, whether my 9 and 7 yr. olds invite him or not (does he really think my kids want to hang out all the time w/ a preschooler?:confused:). This REALLY bothers me b/c not only do I not want him getting hurt on my property, but he opens our gate to our backyard and can let our dog out (dog is just loose inside our fence.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 I would write a letter and keep a copy to make sure you have it in case of issue. In lieu of that just call that cops and charge them with trespassing and theft. There wouldn't be any miscommunication that way. They are called property lines for a reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 if your dh does decide to talk to them, its not a bad idea to have a neutral third party present, so there isn't a "he said/she said" issue.... and i'd be pleasant but clear. "This is one of those awkward conversations you hope never to have, but we need to have it. I think there's been a misunderstanding. Do you remember the day you borrowed our fire pit without asking us? that was not okay. You said you hoped it didn't bother us. well, unfortunately, it did. a lot. we want to be good neighbors, but we do not want you to use our things or come on our land when we are not here. part of that is a liability issue, .... yes, we know you think you wouldn't. this is really about us and not about you. we aren't comfortable having people here unless we've invited them, and we're not comfortable having other people use our things unless we've made prior arrangements with them. So that would mean that if we were home and invited you over so your child could play with the doll house, that would be lovely, and we'd all hopefully have a good time. but it also means that if we're not home, its not okay for you or your child to play in our back yard. its important to us because we like you and we don't want to end up not liking you, or you not liking us, but for us this is a big deal. i hate conversations like this, and i'm sorry we didn't say anything earlier; we were, hmmm, a little taken aback. " and then see where it goes. i'd try to find a time for them to say back to me what i've said to them so i know that we were understood. the next time would be a certified letter. yuck. i'm sorry. hopefully, they are well meaning, batty people who just seem to be creepy with no boundaries....... but i wouldn't want to count on it. :grouphug: let us know how it goes..... ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 We put a padlock on our gate when we discovered neighbors and their kids thought they could just come and go back there without asking. I always thought it was manners to knock on the front door before going to the backyard, but none of them did. We don't use our gate to go to the front and back unless it's bc we need to haul something to or from there. People go through the house. This way toddlers and dogs don't wander into the front without me knowing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbkaren Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 :iagree: This would also solve the problem of a face-to-face confrontation. In my opinion, it would also make future crossing-paths very awkward. I mean, just seeing each other as we're both in our yards and looking the other way rather than waving and saying "hello". I have a neighbor right now that we're on those awkward terms with and it's a terrible existence. I prefer giving them the benefit of the doubt and cordially asking them to honor my wishes. Then if they don't do so, they've made their position clear and all bets are off! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 Honestly....I think you're going to have to go with a fence. Maybe get several companies out to give you an estimate. If your neighbors see this and questions it...you could use it as an opening for a conversation. Give them any old reason you want for the fencing...to keep the kids in...we're thinking of getting a puppy...etc., etc. Then get the fence and padlock the gate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
photomo Posted October 12, 2011 Author Share Posted October 12, 2011 Well I have decided to say something to her nicely this weekend. Yesterday was the last straw. We had the windows open yesterday since it was so nice out. I had decided to lay down with my 2 year old to take a nap because we both were feeling under the weather. 30 minutes into our nap I hear yelling and screaming and then crying. Yes, it did wake my 2 year old. Look out my bedroom window and there is the neighbors 2 year old and 10 year old playing in out back yard and the 2 year old is throwing a tantrum because his brother took the basketball from him... I yelled out the window that they needed to go home and they can not play out back unless they have permission from me. I've been waiting for the mom to call me but she hasn't. Not sure if the 10 year old told her what happened. I am for sure having the conversation with her this weekend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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