fourcatmom Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 (edited) deleted my post Edited October 4, 2011 by fourcatmom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
black_midori Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Um... the biggest thing I think you are missing is a large supportive group of homeschoolers (local)!! :) Honestly, we do SO MUCH with other kids during the week that they don't ever have a chance to say they need more friends around! Birthday parties are 99% homeschooled kids - they pretty much have 1 friend that goes to PS (sitter's son for the 2 days a week I work) and 1 that goes to Montessori (started in HS, which is how we met) - and the rest are all homeschooled. Getting your girls involved in homeschool groups would give you the best of both worlds - HS like you want to do and be a social butterfly like she wants! On your own terms, too... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcatmom Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 Um... the biggest thing I think you are missing is a large supportive group of homeschoolers (local)!! :) Honestly, we do SO MUCH with other kids during the week that they don't ever have a chance to say they need more friends around! Birthday parties are 99% homeschooled kids - they pretty much have 1 friend that goes to PS (sitter's son for the 2 days a week I work) and 1 that goes to Montessori (started in HS, which is how we met) - and the rest are all homeschooled. Getting your girls involved in homeschool groups would give you the best of both worlds - HS like you want to do and be a social butterfly like she wants! On your own terms, too... And you would think that would be easy since I live in a very popular area but it hasn't been. I have contacted the local HS group and pretty much they don't meet and have people that don't want to meet. Our charter does offer classes but they are at times when we can't go and they only run for about 3 weeks, hardly enough time imp to develop some friendships. I do think though that you are right, that would be a good way to meet her needs and still keep her at home. She does do horseback riding but again, not a real social activity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Why can't you justify staying home with only one? She isn't old enough to be home alone, or to teach herself. She would still need you there and what a wonderful bonding time for both of you. Don't feel guilty about staying home with one. Enjoy it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcatmom Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 (edited) deleted my post Edited October 4, 2011 by fourcatmom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcatmom Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 (edited) I really feel the need to just vent for a minute. Sometimes I really love this board. I love the information that I have learned, the knowledge that I have gained and I love that I can seek advice from others who might be in similar situations or maybe have been there before. It also really upsets me when so many people take the time to read into my situation and then imo, just leave. This is a personal situation to me and although I understand that I am on a public board on the internet I guess I am expecting some sort of show of support or respect when people take the time to "know" something personal about me. If you don't open the thread and you don't want to know, that's fine by me but why do people read something that is so personal and do not respond? The majority of threads that I open, I make a response to especially if there are very few responses. I almost feel like I am being sneaking by not posting if I have taken the time to read about it. 130 people took the time to read about my situation and 2 people responded. I don't know why this makes me upset but it does. I guess just knowing that so many people want to know about it but don't want to help makes me think I shouldn't be posting such personal information on a public board. Sorry, just needed to voice my frustration. I can keep my comments to curriculum but I was hoping and have experienced this board to be more then that. Maybe I am just in a bad mood. :confused: Edited October 4, 2011 by fourcatmom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I really feel the need to just vent for a minute. Sometimes I really love this board. I love the information that I have learned, the knowledge that I have gained and I love that I can seek advice from others who might be in similar situations or maybe have been there before. It also really upsets me when so many people take the time to read into my situation and then imo, just leave. This is a personal situation to me and although I understand that I am on a public board on the internet I guess I am expecting some sort of show of support or respect when people take the time to "know" something personal about me. If you don't open the thread and you don't want to know, that's fine by me but why do people read something that is so personal and do not respond? The majority of threads that I open, I make a response to especially if there are very few responses. I almost feel like I am being sneaking by not posting if I have taken the time to read about it. 130 people took the time to read about my situation and 2 people responded. I don't know why this makes me upset but it does. I guess just knowing that so many people want to know about it but don't want to help makes me think I shouldn't be posting such personal information on a public board. Sorry, just needed to voice my frustration. I can keep my comments to curriculum but I was hoping and have experienced this board to be more then that. Maybe I am just in a bad mood. :confused: I read but didn't feel that I could help you sort this out as I have no background of working while homeschooling or having children attend public school. I also have more children, so if one of my children went to school there would be more than one still at home. All told, I just couldn't come up with anything helpful. I'd imagine the other people reading didn't know what to say, either. One can't really know whether one has the experience or wisdom to help someone without opening up the post and reading it, can one? When you post on a public message board, you are doing the online equivalent of typing something out and tacking it onto a utility pole or the bulletin board at the grocery store in your city. Or maybe it is like standing in the middle of the living room at a very crowded party and announcing something. Even if its personal, it is just out there in public for anyone to know. I hope you do come to a good decision for your family, and I'm sorry you are conflicted about your possible solutions right now. I'm sorry you didn't get the support you were looking for here today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I think many times, we don't reply, because we don't have anything wise to add to the conversation. I can see you are struggling with this- it does sound to me, that your younger dd might really do well with going back. I wouldn't feel guilty about staying home to school your older dd- not at all, it could be a really wonderful bonding time for you both. I think we hesitate to put our 2 cents in sometimes, because we don't want to make you feel we are judging your decision one way or another...it sounds like you are leaning towards putting younger dd back in...which is totally fine, if that is what you decide is best. I think I can say that at this board, we are all for doing what is best for your family. I think if you do decide to go for it, maybe you could stipulate that dd has to stick it out a semester or a whole year at least, no jumping back and forth. (of course parental override if it is a disaster) We did seriously consider letting my oldest go to a performing arts charter school- but we stipulated, strongly that if we saw a change of attitude or anything negative- we would pull her out, it is our call. Let us know what you decide, and how it all goes down. Parenting is sure harder than I ever imagined...a hundred little details that bite at you.. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 In your original post, that seems to be deleted???, you said you decided to HS your oldest because of ps drama. I thought it was because of her health issues? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcatmom Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 (edited) In your original post, that seems to be deleted???, you said you decided to HS your oldest because of ps drama. I thought it was because of her health issues? It was both. The drama and situation at school were creating more health issues and she had a history of health things I didn't want to see repeated. I am curious as to how you know that? Edited October 4, 2011 by fourcatmom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I read your post before you deleted it, but I didn't have much to add. We have talked about homeschooling long before dd came along. I am one of those who never wants to put dd in public school and I really thought my views on that were so different than your views, I couldn't offer objective advice to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RegularMom Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 And then there are those of us who are always late to the party. I clicked on your post, but it was all already deleted, so I'm not even sure if I would have had any good advice or not. I wish you peace while you're working this out, whatever it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momma2three Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 And then there are those of us who are always late to the party. I clicked on your post, but it was all already deleted, so I'm not even sure if I would have had any good advice or not. I wish you peace while you're working this out, whatever it is. :iagree: To add to your second question, I don't respond when I don't have anything constructive to add. There are so many people of different backgrounds and different beliefs here, and people tend to be non-agressive towards other people's backgrounds beliefs, that I think there are many posters who would just rather leave the thread than post something that the OP doesn't want to hear. Whatever your issue is, I hope you come to a decision that works well for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clementine Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Sometimes I read a post and leave it thinking, "I have to think about that one.". Then I'll come back with something a bit more thought out. I came late and missed your post, but we have several only-child homeschoolers in our hs group. Don't feel guilty, only you know what's best for your family. Sometimes that is homeschooling all of your children, sometimes not. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delaney Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I too was only getting to this post this morning and I find it just flat out annoying that people go back and delete everything in a temper tantrum. Honestly. This is a board full of people with thoughts and ideas that are usually honest and well thought out. They post thoughtfully. You absolutely cannot take views..post counts...whatever personally. There are times I post and get 2 lousy replies. Whatever. I move on. As for only homeschooling 1 kid? Why not? Is there a law that says you have to have more than 1? Check out Angela's blog (Satorismiles). She does some incredible stuff that makes me drool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I really feel the need to just vent for a minute. Sometimes I really love this board. I love the information that I have learned, the knowledge that I have gained and I love that I can seek advice from others who might be in similar situations or maybe have been there before. It also really upsets me when so many people take the time to read into my situation and then imo, just leave. This is a personal situation to me and although I understand that I am on a public board on the internet I guess I am expecting some sort of show of support or respect when people take the time to "know" something personal about me. If you don't open the thread and you don't want to know, that's fine by me but why do people read something that is so personal and do not respond? The majority of threads that I open, I make a response to especially if there are very few responses. I almost feel like I am being sneaking by not posting if I have taken the time to read about it. 130 people took the time to read about my situation and 2 people responded. I don't know why this makes me upset but it does. I guess just knowing that so many people want to know about it but don't want to help makes me think I shouldn't be posting such personal information on a public board. Sorry, just needed to voice my frustration. I can keep my comments to curriculum but I was hoping and have experienced this board to be more then that. Maybe I am just in a bad mood. :confused: Sometimes I read and have nothing to add. Sometimes I read and then need to go tend to a child before I can post. Sometimes I read and need to think about an answer. Sometimes I read and realize anything I post would just offend the OP so I don't post. Sometimes I read and realize I am too tired to type a coherent answer. There are lots of reasons why people read and don't post, and they aren't all just because the person is nosy. After all, we only get a tiny snippet of a post until we open it :001_smile:. I didn't see your OP, but I did want to give you a :grouphug:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 :grouphug:I often read and then don't add anything because other posters have pretty much covered my thoughts. Other times I just don't have enough coffee in my system yet to guarantee a coherent response,:D I do hope that everything works out for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueridge Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 So, OP, would you like to repost your thoughts so those of us who didn't read them yesterday might be able to respond? Hopefully today will be a better day for you. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quad Shot Academy Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 :grouphug::bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 It also really upsets me when so many people take the time to read into my situation and then imo, just leave. Your title is "Would you help me sort this out?" That could mean anything. So we come into the thread to see what "it" is. If we can't help, we don't post. If you want a higher reading to responding ratio, you can make your title more specific. It seems that you were asking about a situation with a child coming out of public school to homeschool. There is a smaller subset of folks here who can help with that, because many have always homeschooled or took their dc out very young. And many threads go by with just a few responses. We tend to only see the long threads, but that's because they stay to the front. Getting one or two people to give good advice is helpful, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 :grouphug: I often don't post because either what I would say has already been said or I choose to not say anything and keep the peace. I can agree to disagree but I don't wish to get in a war of words over my personal beliefs. I am sorry you deleted your post. From the comments here is my best effort at advice. I will offer that we had a friend keep one child home while the other attended PS. That lasted a semester. Then I believe the girls switched. Then they both are at a Private Christian school. They did what was best for each girl and their family. I hope you have the wisdom and support to do both. :grouphug: Jenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrs.m Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I really feel the need to just vent for a minute. Sometimes I really love this board. I love the information that I have learned, the knowledge that I have gained and I love that I can seek advice from others who might be in similar situations or maybe have been there before. It also really upsets me when so many people take the time to read into my situation and then imo, just leave. This is a personal situation to me and although I understand that I am on a public board on the internet I guess I am expecting some sort of show of support or respect when people take the time to "know" something personal about me. If you don't open the thread and you don't want to know, that's fine by me but why do people read something that is so personal and do not respond? The majority of threads that I open, I make a response to especially if there are very few responses. I almost feel like I am being sneaking by not posting if I have taken the time to read about it. 130 people took the time to read about my situation and 2 people responded. I don't know why this makes me upset but it does. I guess just knowing that so many people want to know about it but don't want to help makes me think I shouldn't be posting such personal information on a public board. Sorry, just needed to voice my frustration. I can keep my comments to curriculum but I was hoping and have experienced this board to be more then that. Maybe I am just in a bad mood. :confused: Do you reply to every single post you read? What if you don't have anything to add but thought you might by reading the post topic. "help me sort this out" could be about anything. I'm sorry that you are taking this so hard. :grouphug: I read your post. But I didn't know how to say that you should keep truckin' along but it sounded like you made up your mind in your post. I also didn't agree with the idea that you should go back to work and leave your DD who is 10 to work out school on her own while you are gone. (unless you work at home?) So I thought since I didn't really have anything encouraging to say, that I would just skip it. If you are uncomfortable with people lurking about your posts, you might want to reconsider your participation here. This is a huge forum. And then there's also the number of people that aren't registered that can read this forum. Just something to consider if you are uncomfortable with your personal information being out there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 So, OP, would you like to repost your thoughts so those of us who didn't read them yesterday might be able to respond? Hopefully today will be a better day for you. :) :iagree: :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I really feel the need to just vent for a minute. Sometimes I really love this board. I love the information that I have learned, the knowledge that I have gained and I love that I can seek advice from others who might be in similar situations or maybe have been there before. It also really upsets me when so many people take the time to read into my situation and then imo, just leave. This is a personal situation to me and although I understand that I am on a public board on the internet I guess I am expecting some sort of show of support or respect when people take the time to "know" something personal about me. If you don't open the thread and you don't want to know, that's fine by me but why do people read something that is so personal and do not respond? The majority of threads that I open, I make a response to especially if there are very few responses. I almost feel like I am being sneaking by not posting if I have taken the time to read about it. 130 people took the time to read about my situation and 2 people responded. I don't know why this makes me upset but it does. I guess just knowing that so many people want to know about it but don't want to help makes me think I shouldn't be posting such personal information on a public board. Sorry, just needed to voice my frustration. I can keep my comments to curriculum but I was hoping and have experienced this board to be more then that. Maybe I am just in a bad mood. :confused: I've had posts that asked a specific question that got no responses. Yeah, that sucks but sometimes people just have nothing to say about the issue. Then people complain when the same topics get brought up over and over again and people talk them to death. Well, some topics just catch on better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 A lot of nights/early mornings I am posting from my phone while in bed, chatting with dh. I tend not to make long, involved posts until I can get to the computer. But, I tend not to post to people who have struggles with removing their kids from regular school because my kids have never been in school. Our struggles are a bit different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Once I posted about my menstrual issues and had over a hundred people read it and one person respond. :tongue_smilie:That is the risk of posting on a public message board. If I feel that something is so personal that I would be bothered if hundreds of strangers read it and no one responds, I just choose not to post. I do hope you can work things out in a way that is satisfactory for you and your family.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Nyssa Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Well my advice is ask tbe school if DD can sit in for 1 day & see what it's like. That would give you some more information at least. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 First help me, then I will return. One to one coaching reported as spam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcatmom Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 (edited) Okay, so I had a bad night. This has still been a heavily read thread. I got protective. I got nervous. This is followed by several threads about low post counts and people being on here to troll and not really being a part of things. I am conflicted about what my DD wants and I want. I deleted it because I was being protective and wasn't sure I wanted the information about my dd out there anymore given that so many people, imo seemed to be lurking. I understand all the reasons why people don't post and some of you brought one's that I hadn't thought of. I appreciate the feedback. We all have bad days. I just want to clarify a few points. 1. I pulled my kids last January from ps becuase my oldest DD had asked, pleade with me to not send her to school anymore. She couldn't take all the drama. They were having an effect on her heath and I decided to do HSing, something I had always wanted to do. I offered my other dd the choice to either stay at PS or come home too. She choose to come home. She had been doing fairly well and I realized last night that her "unhappiness" started about 3 weeks ago when a friend from her old school called her and told her how much everyone misses her. My "problem" is that I she really misses her friends and has asked about going back to school. I want her to stay home and continue to HS. I also want her to be happy and I guess I am a little sad at the thought that she isn't happy here. We visited an art school yesterday and she seemed to fit right in and enjoy the time at the school. I know this is very different from going to school. I think that going to the school and seeing her so happy, made me sad yesterday. The whole issue with my oldest is that she is pretty independent. She stays on task and gets great grades. She is able to work without my help most of the time. I changed my schedule which had a significant financial impact on us so that I could be home with them. I simply stated that it would be hard for me to justify staying home and living "short" with just one at home that really doesn't need a lot of my time. Yes, she still needs me and Yes, I would want to and Yes, she is wroth it but I am not sure it makes sense....to me. She would not be alone though. They stay with their Dad while I am at work. He works night so he sleeps so for safety purposes she would be okay but she would basically be alone doing her work 3 days a week. I probably wouldn't go back to work because I wouldn't want her "alone". I did enroll both of them in a class that starts in about 1 hour today. I thought that maybe if I could create more opportunities for my dd to be around kids then she might be able to find more peace with HSing. I know she likes to be me and be at home but it's the friend issue that's making her sad. She is also having a "play date" today with the girl that calls her from her old school. Hopefully, the combination of these things will help. I am also enrolling her is some more horseback riding lessons - although that's not really a social activity it is something that she enjoys and has a good time doing. I have spent the night thinking about things and if she chooses PS then I will choose to support her in her decision. I am hoping though that I can meet her needs at home. I also apologize for deleting my thread. I was being protective, that's the best way to explain my actions. I also appreciate the comments about my title not being specific enough in this case. I agree that it was not. Thank you to all that responded. Have a great day:001_smile: Edited October 4, 2011 by fourcatmom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seraphina Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 You have to look at your kids as the individuals they are. Each of my children have their own needs and strengths. We pulled ds (12) out of public school last year and I don't think he will ever go back. Ds (9) will be pulled out next week, I wanted to give notice and am waiting on some curriculum to arrive, I don't know if he will ever go back to public school but I will always do what is best for him. My other kids are doing well where they are. I would never ever bring dd (10) home because she loves her friends, she loves school and all the activities, she loves work and if she's out of work she finds someone to help, she would be miserable if I brought her home and she has made that clear. You have to decide what is best for your children. As parents we will always have the what if's in the back of our minds but you just have to trudge through and make logical and well thought out choices. We also need to trust our children to a certain degree, we must trust their feelings and consider them. Good luck on what ever you decide. Try not to be too hard on yourself, I know as moms we strive for perfection but we need to learn to love our reality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clementine Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I think any child who hears that their friends miss them at school is going to make them question homeschooling. I also think that if kids are a little lonely, it's easy for them to forget about the drama that goes on in school. I agree that making playmates and taking advantage of outside activities would help your dd stay active & involved with other kids, which would hopefully lessen the loneliness. I hope the enjoy their class today. :) We've homeschooled from the beginning (in our 10th year) and there are sometimes still moments of feeling lonely, but a heart-to-heart talk over hot chocolate usually clears the head & calms the soul. I do hope you'll update in this thread with how things are going. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iona Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Most posts get many more views than comments. Like pps have said, sometimes people don't have helpful things to add for various reasons, and in the end would you want all 100+ people posting if they don't have anything to say? I agree that it can be hard if you interpret that as being ignored...especially if you post something personal. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Whether they *can* fit in at school just isn't the issue for us, I guess. We do outside activities-scouting, dance lessons, music lessons, horse camp, field trips with other homeschoolers, lots of stuff like that (not all of these activities are homeschool-exclusive). Yes, it takes effort. Yes, we are sometimes very busy, but that's not always a bad thing. It really *sounds like* you are questioning your decision and are ready to give in. *I* wouldn't want to plan on leaving my kid(s) to do their work on their own for more than half the week; I don't think that's an acceptable answer. It seems like you are in a limbo of not wanting to put them in school, but not being *fully committed* to homeschooling. If you are fully committed to homeschooling, then you need to seek out some sense of community for the kids, some group activities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I have one kid (DS19) who was never homeschooled. I have one kid (DD17) who was in public school until her senior year when she ASKED to be homeschooled so she could concentrate on her music. I have one kid (DS15) who was in public school until 5th grade, homeschooled 1/2 of 5th thru 8th grade, and went back to public school in 9th. I have one kid (DD10) who went to public school for K & 1st, but has homeschooled since and I don't see her ever going back to a public school. Just to show - there is more than one way to do it. It's perfectly fine to have one (or more) in public school and one (or more) homeschooled at the same time. And - yes - I have an extremely independent 10yo who doesn't really need "ME" to teach her as she mostly teaches herself. She needs "ME" to be Mom and encourage and support and just plain be with her. Plus - our home runs more smoothly with one adult in the house all the time to take care of the household chores. I used to work full time out of the house, but having me at home works better for our family. HTH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I too was only getting to this post this morning and I find it just flat out annoying that people go back and delete everything in a temper tantrum. Honestly. This is a board full of people with thoughts and ideas that are usually honest and well thought out. They post thoughtfully. You absolutely cannot take views..post counts...whatever personally. There are times I post and get 2 lousy replies. Whatever. I move on.As for only homeschooling 1 kid? Why not? Is there a law that says you have to have more than 1? Check out Angela's blog (Satorismiles). She does some incredible stuff that makes me drool. :iagree::iagree: And here's at least one post that is well thought out. :) I also cannot even imagine looking at the the times a post of my has been viewed and having it matter. Sometimes you hit a nerve with this crowd of people and sometimes you don't. Try again later or move on with the topic. But get over yourself in the process. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcatmom Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 Whether they *can* fit in at school just isn't the issue for us, I guess. We do outside activities-scouting, dance lessons, music lessons, horse camp, field trips with other homeschoolers, lots of stuff like that (not all of these activities are homeschool-exclusive). Yes, it takes effort. Yes, we are sometimes very busy, but that's not always a bad thing. It really *sounds like* you are questioning your decision and are ready to give in. *I* wouldn't want to plan on leaving my kid(s) to do their work on their own for more than half the week; I don't think that's an acceptable answer. It seems like you are in a limbo of not wanting to put them in school, but not being *fully committed* to homeschooling. If you are fully committed to homeschooling, then you need to seek out some sense of community for the kids, some group activities. I am not sure what you mean by not being fully committed to home schooling. I have reduced my work schedule to be home with them because I want to be doing this. She initiated the conversations about wanting to return to ps so I am trying to be open to what she needs and realistic that hsing might not be what she wants to do. I very much her to stay home but I also want her to be happy. I don't know how that makes me not committed to my children or to HSing? :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcatmom Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 (edited) :iagree::iagree: And here's at least one post that is well thought out. :) I also cannot even imagine looking at the the times a post of my has been viewed and having it matter. Sometimes you hit a nerve with this crowd of people and sometimes you don't. Try again later or move on with the topic. But get over yourself in the process. Well, isn't that a most thoughtful post. You have never had a bad day? You have never been protective of your children, your family? I will also say that I don't expect anyone to agree with me on my personal issue. I don't expect everyone to participate but I have never been rude to anyone on this board and I never will be. Thanks a lot! Edited October 4, 2011 by fourcatmom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seraphina Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I am not sure what you mean by not being fully committed to home schooling. I have reduced my work schedule to be home with them because I want to be doing this. She initiated the conversations about wanting to return to ps so I am trying to be open to what she needs and realistic that hsing might not be what she wants to do. I very much her to stay home but I also want her to be happy. I don't know how that makes me not committed to my children or to HSing? :confused: You need to be committed to your daughter and what is best for her. I am committed to homeschooling as long as it is what is best for my children. You know what is best for her. Follow your instincts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Well, isn't that a most thoughtful post. You have never had a bad day? You have never been protective of your children, your family? I will also say that I don't expect anyone to agree with me on my personal issue. I don't expect everyone to participate but I have never been rude to anyone on this board and I never will be. Thanks a lot! Michele, I'm sorry but that is the nature of an internet message board. Sometimes the weirdest posts get 1900 replies in 15 minutes. And other times, something with really good info needs to reposted 14 times before anyone sees it. Taking it personally is egocentric. Shrug and get over it! :001_smile: But deleting the posts makes you seem a little whiny and I'm afraid by doing that, that you'll get even fewer responses next time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehog Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Sometimes I read and have nothing to add. Sometimes I read and then need to go tend to a child before I can post. Sometimes I read and need to think about an answer. Sometimes I read and realize anything I post would just offend the OP so I don't post. Sometimes I read and realize I am too tired to type a coherent answer. There are lots of reasons why people read and don't post, and they aren't all just because the person is nosy. After all, we only get a tiny snippet of a post until we open it :001_smile:. :iagree: OP - your children are individuals. One of the reasons I homeschool is so that I can give my children an individual education, best suited to their needs. If one of your children is best served by being in school, then that's where she needs to be, or vice versa. With regard to whether or not a child (being best served by learning at home) is home, sort of by themselves but Dad is home asleep. If that works for the child and the rest of you, then why should you not do that? IMO that is not a cop-out. It is what works for your family. (I am assuming that the child is question is, in your opinion, old enough and mature enough to be home like that safely.) As a PP said, follow your instincts. You know your children best. I believe that is the best advice anyone can give you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I don't know the ages of your kids. I was pulled out summer before 9th grade. My parents were fed up with politics and low academic expectations (read we were bored to tears). They didn't play the game of pulling kids out and putting them back in. We found playmates through church and through our homeschool group. I had a social outlet everyday thoughout high school between the two groups. Sometimes more than one. Some parents are fine with the back and forth but I think it is disruptive to both the child and the school. That is just my humble opinion. Did your daughter have a chance to Detox from school, I know a few years ago that was a big part of starting to homeschool was giving the kids a month per grade to adjust to homeschool. I think it is great you are looking at options to have your children more involved in other things. Here are some more ideas, 4-H, Girl Scouts, church, local college kid classes/choir, homeschool coops, Keepers, Boy Scouts (yes older girls can be varsity scouts) and volunteering in your community, local theater, city run sports, church run sports...find their interests and run with it. I had a friend that would seat people at the theater, one that was a docent at the Titanic exhibit that came through (despite being young, his mom was with him so they okay it,) my brother learned to love animals through 4-H and is majoring in it. There are countless ways to socialize and school doesn't have to be one of them. Besides, the only time to socialize as I remember was, lunch, and passing. The rest of the time we were supossed to be listening to the teacher. Good luck in what you decide. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BetterthanIdeserve Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 You need to be committed to your daughter and what is best for her. I am committed to homeschooling as long as it is what is best for my children. You know what is best for her. Follow your instincts. :iagree: and :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H.S. Burrow Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Okay, so I had a bad night. This has still been a heavily read thread. I got protective. I got nervous. This is followed by several threads about low post counts and people being on here to troll and not really being a part of things. I am conflicted about what my DD wants and I want. I deleted it because I was being protective and wasn't sure I wanted the information about my dd out there anymore given that so many people, imo seemed to be lurking. I understand all the reasons why people don't post and some of you brought one's that I hadn't thought of. I appreciate the feedback. We all have bad days. I just want to clarify a few points. 1. I pulled my kids last January from ps becuase my oldest DD had asked, pleade with me to not send her to school anymore. She couldn't take all the drama. They were having an effect on her heath and I decided to do HSing, something I had always wanted to do. I offered my other dd the choice to either stay at PS or come home too. She choose to come home. She had been doing fairly well and I realized last night that her "unhappiness" started about 3 weeks ago when a friend from her old school called her and told her how much everyone misses her. My "problem" is that I she really misses her friends and has asked about going back to school. I want her to stay home and continue to HS. I also want her to be happy and I guess I am a little sad at the thought that she isn't happy here. We visited an art school yesterday and she seemed to fit right in and enjoy the time at the school. I know this is very different from going to school. I think that going to the school and seeing her so happy, made me sad yesterday. The whole issue with my oldest is that she is pretty independent. She stays on task and gets great grades. She is able to work without my help most of the time. I changed my schedule which had a significant financial impact on us so that I could be home with them. I simply stated that it would be hard for me to justify staying home and living "short" with just one at home that really doesn't need a lot of my time. Yes, she still needs me and Yes, I would want to and Yes, she is wroth it but I am not sure it makes sense....to me. She would not be alone though. They stay with their Dad while I am at work. He works night so he sleeps so for safety purposes she would be okay but she would basically be alone doing her work 3 days a week. I probably wouldn't go back to work because I wouldn't want her "alone". I did enroll both of them in a class that starts in about 1 hour today. I thought that maybe if I could create more opportunities for my dd to be around kids then she might be able to find more peace with HSing. I know she likes to be me and be at home but it's the friend issue that's making her sad. She is also having a "play date" today with the girl that calls her from her old school. Hopefully, the combination of these things will help. I am also enrolling her is some more horseback riding lessons - although that's not really a social activity it is something that she enjoys and has a good time doing. I have spent the night thinking about things and if she chooses PS then I will choose to support her in her decision. I am hoping though that I can meet her needs at home. I also apologize for deleting my thread. I was being protective, that's the best way to explain my actions. I also appreciate the comments about my title not being specific enough in this case. I agree that it was not. Thank you to all that responded. Have a great day:001_smile: I have some experience with pulling out of public school and returning to public school while still homeschooling one. I don't have time to explain just know - I'll come back. :) :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quad Shot Academy Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 They didn't play the game of pulling kids out and putting them back in. :iagree: This is one of my homeschooling pet peeves. I would tell my child that they were committed to the decision for at least 1 year. It is not fair to anyone, including the schools, to keeping pulling kids in and out. It sounds like you are making some great steps toward finding social outlets for your kids! Good job! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 (edited) You deleted your post before I could see it and I am on here A LOT. It looks like it was only up for about an hour? We have a lot of people in all different time zones and a lot of lurkers who never post. So, of your 100 views, it's possible that only 10 to 20 of them were people who have ever posted to a thread. Anyway, judging by later posts, your issue had to do with whether or not to send one of your children back to public school? I didn't see your childrens ages anywhere. How young they are would probably have some bearing on what I would do in that case. In any case, I would probably tell them they need to stick with one thing (home or public) for an entire year before deciding to switch back. I would make an exception for a kid in public school who was absolutely miserable for some reason (bullying especially). It sounds like your daughter is just feeling lonely, missing her friends. As you get her involved in activities and she is able to meet more homeschoolers, she may feel better about it. I have one who has always been in public school and I am not at all anti-public school. My younger two will be homeschooled because I feel that is what is best for them. Kids vary and I think there is nothing wrong with doing different things for different children. It shouldn't have to be all or nothing. Edited to add: I actually only came back to read this thread because I was curious why a deleted post was still managing to be on the front page. Edited October 4, 2011 by dottieanna29 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I don' have a better response, but didn't just want to read and leave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I have one, we homeschool. I consider it my full-time job. Even as he gets older and approaches high school level work, it's still a full-time effort for me, mainly because of the way we chose to do our schooling. So is it worth it to stay home for one? Yes. Can you work it out with one at home and one at school? Absolutely. We chose homeschooling because it's the best decision for our only child, if we had more children we'd made individual decisions. I do think you can overcome the social issue with activities and choose NOT to send one child back to school. I think you have a lot of options. I don't know the age of your dc, that might sway my decision. I have to go back and teach now, but :grouphug: it's tough to make these types of decisions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Okay, so I had a bad night. This has still been a heavily read thread. I got protective. I got nervous. This is followed by several threads about low post counts and people being on here to troll and not really being a part of things. I am conflicted about what my DD wants and I want. I deleted it because I was being protective and wasn't sure I wanted the information about my dd out there anymore given that so many people, imo seemed to be lurking. I understand all the reasons why people don't post and some of you brought one's that I hadn't thought of. I appreciate the feedback. We all have bad days. I just want to clarify a few points. 1. I pulled my kids last January from ps becuase my oldest DD had asked, pleade with me to not send her to school anymore. She couldn't take all the drama. They were having an effect on her heath and I decided to do HSing, something I had always wanted to do. I offered my other dd the choice to either stay at PS or come home too. She choose to come home. She had been doing fairly well and I realized last night that her "unhappiness" started about 3 weeks ago when a friend from her old school called her and told her how much everyone misses her. My "problem" is that I she really misses her friends and has asked about going back to school. I want her to stay home and continue to HS. I also want her to be happy and I guess I am a little sad at the thought that she isn't happy here. We visited an art school yesterday and she seemed to fit right in and enjoy the time at the school. I know this is very different from going to school. I think that going to the school and seeing her so happy, made me sad yesterday. The whole issue with my oldest is that she is pretty independent. She stays on task and gets great grades. She is able to work without my help most of the time. I changed my schedule which had a significant financial impact on us so that I could be home with them. I simply stated that it would be hard for me to justify staying home and living "short" with just one at home that really doesn't need a lot of my time. Yes, she still needs me and Yes, I would want to and Yes, she is wroth it but I am not sure it makes sense....to me. She would not be alone though. They stay with their Dad while I am at work. He works night so he sleeps so for safety purposes she would be okay but she would basically be alone doing her work 3 days a week. I probably wouldn't go back to work because I wouldn't want her "alone". I did enroll both of them in a class that starts in about 1 hour today. I thought that maybe if I could create more opportunities for my dd to be around kids then she might be able to find more peace with HSing. I know she likes to be me and be at home but it's the friend issue that's making her sad. She is also having a "play date" today with the girl that calls her from her old school. Hopefully, the combination of these things will help. I am also enrolling her is some more horseback riding lessons - although that's not really a social activity it is something that she enjoys and has a good time doing. I have spent the night thinking about things and if she chooses PS then I will choose to support her in her decision. I am hoping though that I can meet her needs at home. I also apologize for deleting my thread. I was being protective, that's the best way to explain my actions. I also appreciate the comments about my title not being specific enough in this case. I agree that it was not. Thank you to all that responded. Have a great day:001_smile: Just so you know, (me being egotistical here) if I read all that yesterday I would not have responded to your thread. I would have had nothing to offer as advice since the entire situation is beyond anything I've ever experienced. I don't know if anyone mentioned this (I didn't read all the comments, just skimmed) but the thread with the most posts has 1247 post and 40,076 views. That might help you put things into perspective. There was a bigger thread with both numbers being larger, but it had to be dumped because it was so large. Hope you find the answers you need. ETA: Oh, I do have this: If 30 years will you kick yourself in the rear because you worked instead of spending this time with your kids while they are kids? If you answer yes, you might have found your answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Double post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I am often reading the posts while nursing, and wait to go back and respond when I have both hands free to type. so sue me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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