Would you help me sort this out?

[Ananda]

I am sorry that your thread didn't turn out how you hoped. I wish you the best in your mysterious situation.

 

I wanted to thank you for giving me the push to post my first thread. I am a devoted lurker. I was aware that my little clicks added to threads view count, but I wasn't aware anyone cared about view counts. I hope I haven't made anyone feel as you felt today when you decided it was best to delete your post. I understand the vulnerability posters have when they post personal threads.

 

I do want to say as gently as possible that people use these forums for different reasons. I myself lurk on threads to gain information on parenting, homeschooling, marriage, daily life, current events etc. This information has been invaluable to me. I am ever grateful to people whose posts have helped me along the way. Admittedly, I also read threads for entertainment. When I saw you had deleted your original post, I opened the thread to try to find out what juicy thing I missed. Instead I learned that sometimes people get hurt even when I don't say anything.

[fourcatmom]

Thanks for the support. Yeah, not sure how to proceed at this point. I had a bad day and got scared, I didn't like that there were that many people "knowing" about my life just for fun. I guess I really have to think about what I post and why. I have apologized for deleting but given that 2,000 people have read it, I am not sure I regret it. I will protect my family if need be and I just felt vulnerable, whether it was warranted or not. I don't expect anyone to agree with me. I probably wouldn't have made that post today as I feel more hopeful about my daughter's journey.

 

The short of the story is that I am real person with real feelings and I do make mistakes. I made one yesterday by being overly emotional about my daughter, and I wasn't thinking things through. I do spend a great amount of time with my children and do not regret the kind of Mother that I am whether I work or not.

 

If people choose to not participate in conversations with me in the future, so be it. I can't change how they feel. There are few people that I will be more cautious about as well given there responses to this thread. I can own up to my mistakes and accept my responsibility for my own actions and I have repeatedly apologized for them. I don't know what else I can do.

 

My dd and I had a great day at classes and I thank the person who did post the idea of a co-op because that is what motivated me. So, in the end it was worth it because we had a great day and I am sure that with the addition of the classes, she will get enough friend time to meet her needs and still do HSing. That was my objective.

[5kidsforME]

I think you are way overthinking the whole post count thing. The reason it got more hits is probably the drama you caused by deleting your posts and slapping the hands of everyone that read the post without responding.

 

If you think about it, if only 50-100 people opened the thread and than got curious, everytime it was bumped to the top, that could make the post count go up a lot.

 

I can almost gaurantee there would not have been so many looking at the thread had you not deleted all your posts and gotten huffy. You made this thread a little bit of a train wreck, it's hard to look away. :tongue_smilie:

 

Since you seem to be very sensitive about it, I would not post anything personal again.

[Lizzie in Ma]

I think many times, we don't reply, because we don't have anything wise to add to the conversation.

 

I think we hesitate to put our 2 cents in sometimes, because we don't want to make you feel we are judging your decision one way or another.. I think I can say that at this board, we are all for doing what is best for your family.

 

Let us know what you decide, and how it all goes down. Parenting is sure harder than I ever imagined...a hundred little details that bite at you..

:grouphug:

 

:iagree::iagree: I've often just said a quick prayer on some posts when I've nothing to offer otherwise. It isn't because I don't care. :grouphug:

[StephanieZ]

I'll post just since it's a sore point to read and not post, lol. Otherwise, I'd just mosey on out of here w/o posting. Just this once, I'll post for no other reason than to post and blabber what's on my mind. This might give you an idea of why you really don't want everyone to post. :)

 

If I posted on every thread I viewed, my post count would be in the zillions. I'm already an Empress Bee, lol, and, really, noone wants me to post any more than I already do.

 

If I posted in every or most threads I viewed, you'd all see my name and skip over whatever I wrote b/c you'd expect drivel, since I'd be posting when I didn't have much to say.

 

I probably view dozens of threads each day -- in maybe 20-40 min of very interrupted and intensely multi-tasking browsing. I doubt I post on more than 2 or 3. At that, I am still an Empress Bee. LOL. ;)

 

FYI, I don't post if one or more of the following conditions are met:

 

+ I have no significant information or insight to share

+ I don't agree with the premise(s) of the OP. For instance, if the OP is posting about a problem arising from some foundational approach that I don't share. There are many folks who share this board with very differing approaches to life. I.e., if someone wants help figuring out how to handle a public school problem, and they appear committed to keeping the kid in that school, well, then, my input won't help them. It'd make them feel worse. Not my intention, so I skip on to the next thread.

+ I disagree with the values/morals/religion of the OP in such a way that I would not have helpful input. If someone is posting about 'Pearl' style discipline, I will leave the thead as soon as I can, b/c I would likely be banned if I actually told the poster what I actually thought of them.

+ The poster is not someone I recognize, and is a relatively new board member, and is posting about something not clearly hs'ing related. I will answer newbie's queries about curricula, scheduling, etc, but I try to avoid involving myself in their non-hs related dramas if I can help myself.

+ I'm on my iPad, which is just a pain to type on.

+ I run out of time.

+ I am just not in the mood to share.

+ I need to do some actual work.

 

FWIW, I started this post about three hours ago. Since I started it, I had to drive two girls to fiddle lessons, one to harp lesson, leave them there, come back home to help my son log on to his first Art of Problem Solving real time class. That starts in 15 minutes. I haven't started cooking dinner yet. I am 50% packed for a 3 week Florida trip, and I have to be done by tomorrow night, because Thurs & Fri and completely scheduled with teaching COOP lit Th, teaching COOP chem Th, driving 50 miles round trip to a guitar leson Thurs, driving 40 mi RT to a harp ensemble Th, driving 440 miles round trip to guitar lesson Friday, and, of course, regular schooling and finishing packing. And, we leave Friday after work to drive 1000 miles to FL. And, Wed I have a 7:30 date to run 7 miles, a 9:00 date to walk 4 miles, a business appt to refinance our commercial property mortgage at noon. And, I still have a few more docs to sign and fax before nightfall tonight for said refi. Gotta get that one off the printer right now. Now I on'y have 12 min before that class starts, and I am tired just listing that stuff I have to do, and I am sure I forgot half of it. And, now I have 11 minutes, and I really better figure out what's for dinner.

 

Welcome to the WTM boards, and please trust that noone is dissing you when we view but don't post! :grouphug:

 

Now it's 10 min.

 

p.s. Yep, I forgot the orthodontist appointment on Thurs. Now I have 8 minutes, and I really am leaving this board right this second!

Edited October 4, 2011 by StephanieZ

[Joanne]

Thanks for the support. Yeah, not sure how to proceed at this point. I had a bad day and got scared, I didn't like that there were that many people "knowing" about my life just for fun. I guess I really have to think about what I post and why. I have apologized for deleting but given that 2,000 people have read it, I am not sure I regret it. I will protect my family if need be and I just felt vulnerable, whether it was warranted or not. I don't expect anyone to agree with me. I probably wouldn't have made that post today as I feel more hopeful about my daughter's journey.

 

The short of the story is that I am real person with real feelings and I do make mistakes. I made one yesterday by being overly emotional about my daughter, and I wasn't thinking things through. I do spend a great amount of time with my children and do not regret the kind of Mother that I am whether I work or not.

 

If people choose to not participate in conversations with me in the future, so be it. I can't change how they feel. There are few people that I will be more cautious about as well given there responses to this thread. I can own up to my mistakes and accept my responsibility for my own actions and I have repeatedly apologized for them. I don't know what else I can do.

 

My dd and I had a great day at classes and I thank the person who did post the idea of a co-op because that is what motivated me. So, in the end it was worth it because we had a great day and I am sure that with the addition of the classes, she will get enough friend time to meet her needs and still do HSing. That was my objective.

 

 

Are you new to forums/message boards in general? Your expectations of them seem off, or naive, or new.

 

I've been on this board for 12 years. These folks have seen me through all sorts of very personal events. I posted something last night, and got *one* response. *shrug* I couldn't tell you how many viewed it, and from a messege board standpoint, that's fairly irrelevent anyway.

 

I worked outside the home and homeschooled. I've currently got 2 in private school and one in public. I made a HUGE decision about one of my children regarding their education, one that affected everything.

 

I can probably also add to your question about "committed to homeschooling" comments. One thing many seasoned/experienced homeschoolers have found is that having "public school" (or even private school) as a default option/solution makes homeschooling always vulnerable. Many moms have found it best to assert they will homeschool and meet challenges with this in mind, therefore finding *homeschooling* solutions. I'm not sure if that is what THAT poster meant, but it is what I would mean if I posted that comment.

[fourcatmom]

I think you are way overthinking the whole post count thing. The reason it got more hits is probably the drama you caused by deleting your posts and slapping the hands of everyone that read the post without responding.

 

If you think about it, if only 50-100 people opened the thread and than got curious, everytime it was bumped to the top, that could make the post count go up a lot.

 

I can almost gaurantee there would not have been so many looking at the thread had you not deleted all your posts and gotten huffy. You made this thread a little bit of a train wreck, it's hard to look away. :tongue_smilie:

 

Since you seem to be very sensitive about it, I would not post anything personal again.

 

 

I realize this, hence the apology. I didn't really want to get bashed all over again but I wanted to apologize. I am not even going to respond to anything else on this thread. Can you all just accept my apology and realize that I realize that I made a mistake and was feeling emotional over my daughter and over-reacted? I get it, okay? My reaction is a small percentage of who I am as a person, an over-protective and very committed mother who sometimes gets emotional about my kids.

[RegularMom]

Can you all just accept my apology and realize that I realize that I made a mistake and was feeling emotional over my daughter and over-reacted?

 

Sure. Honestly... having been around this board for more than a few years, I gotta tell you... this was a pretty tame thread. I've seen significantly more explosive emotional moments here. Seriously. This ain't nothin'. Stick around and see if I'm right. You stressed out about homeschooling; it's not like you were considering putting cream of chicken soup in a crock pot, right? ;)

 

My reaction is a small percentage of who I am as a person, an over-protective and very committed mother who sometimes gets emotional about my kids.

 

Noted. I suspect that you are very much in good company here. And it's good to remember this about everyone here, I suppose. For all of us, our reactions are probably a small percentage of who we are as people. Especially on a message board.

 

Hang in there.

[Pretty in Pink]

Sure. Honestly... having been around this board for more than a few years, I gotta tell you... this was a pretty tame thread. I've seen significantly more explosive emotional moments here. Seriously. This ain't nothin'. Stick around and see if I'm right. You stressed out about homeschooling; it's not like you were considering putting cream of chicken soup in a crock pot, right? ;)

 

As long as she's buzzing about the kitchen with her shoes OFF, well, I don't see anything wrong with the rest of your scenario... :001_smile:

 

Regarding the bolded: I kept reading this as, "...significantly more explosive mental moments..." which isn't exactly inaccurate, either. :lol:

[RanchGirl]

FYI, search engine bots that are cataloging the Internet for their directories also can increase the view count, and this forum is highly ranked in search engines, so I assume it is frequently catalogued. Also if someone hits refresh or comes back twice after thinking it over or changing devices, that's extra views. When you view your own post to check for responses, more views. I don't think you have anything to worry about or be protective over or defensive about. I've had bad days myself, and I've felt quite ignored on this forum....don't worry about it!

 

As for your original question, I can't respond without knowing more about why you started homeschooling, how it's going, what may have changed, etc., but be sure you are considering those factors. I'm not sure that missing friends and feeling wanted is a great reason to change everything up, it sounds like a possibly short term solution in need of a problem. On the other hand, I definitely think teens should be given some say over their schooling if they are behaving responsibly, studying hard, working toward a goal, treating the family well and making good friend choices.

[mamakven]

just a quick note, sometimes i read and don't reply, often on this board its because i get overwhelmed and need to get back to my brood. or i just get overwhelmed. i have a hard time focusing for very long. like this time, i got only to page 3. that would normally make me not want to reply-

 

But as a quick, reply, i'll say that if your child can be home successfully alone, or practically alone, depends entirely on the child. Mine that i'm hsing right now, could, mine that are in ps, could not so it totally depends.