Do any of you that have boy(s), NOT allow guns/weapons etc, for play?

[jenniferlee]

How does it work out?

Have you done it from the beginning?

Did you change over at some point?

Do your kids accept it or resent it?

What do they play with instead?

Do they just make weapons with sticks, etc? And do you allow that?

 

We have 3 boys 11, 6 and 5 and that is ALL they want to play.

Swords, guns, lightsabers, crossbows, daggers - you name it. We've actually made some of these weapons for them. Cut them out of wood etc.

It's getting old. The violent play all the time. And someone is always getting hurt.

We're curious about what other families have done.

 

thanks

Jen

[Osmosis Mom]

I think it is a lost cause. And I am not chauvinistic. I just make sure my kids don't aim at people and take it from there...

[Mom-ninja.]

I think it is a lost cause. And I am not chauvinistic. I just make sure my kids don't aim at people and take it from there...

 

:iagree:

 

 

After reading books about the male brain I know I can't stop it.

[Joanne]

Do you want a discussion or "just" people who have made the no weapon play choice?

[mom2scouts]

I have four boys and I allow gun play with safety rules such as no shooting at faces (with things like Nerf guns) and not getting too close or not shooting water guns at people who don't want to play. Now, all four of my boys know how to shoot real guns and do it for recreation. They learned to shoot at Scout camp where safety is emphasized and they're all pretty good shots.

[*********]

In general, my little boys do not play with guns, swords, etc.

 

We make a clear distinction with our children; weapons are never, under ANY circumstances, to be used to harm a person. Never. Ever. (No, not even for war or personal defense. It is part of our belief system.) So no, the boys do not play 'weapons' with other children, like sword fighting or playing 'war' or something.

 

Weapons can, however, be used on animals in *certain* circumstances. We explain to our boys that animals may be killed for specific reasons; food/clothing uses, because the animal is destroying property, or because the animal is a physical threat to us in some way. We believe animals are given for man to use. However, even then, we teach our boys that the animal is killed in the most humane way possible. We never inflict pain on an animal for unnecessary purposes; animals are never to be killed for 'fun'.

 

So, I suppose it would be ok with me if, for example, one of the boys was to make a 'spear' out of a stick, and pretend to hunt with it or something, as part of a 'survior man' type game. (My boys are very much into Survivor Man, lol.) However, I've never seen a group of boys get together and say 'hey, let's pretend we're going hunting for food because we're lost in the wilderness'; it's more like 'hey, let's pretend to kill one another with this plastic sword/fake gun'.

 

We've been in the situation before where some boys in our play group bring pretend weapons to the play date/park, whatever. My boys simply do not join in that particular game. And it's not 'because my mom won't let me'; it's because they understand that mom and dad have taught them what *we* believe the Bible has to say about these things, and they honor that. For the same reason, they do not make weapons for play use against other people.

 

Long answer, :tongue_smilie:, but I wanted to be as clear as possible on what we believe and teach our children.

[Sophia]

I remember agonizing over this when my oldest was a toddler.

I hated the idea of my sweet baby being violent, so stayed away from toy weapons.

 

Yea...that didn't last.

 

He turned everything into a sword or gun. I was actually quite impressed with his imagination, lol!

 

What I did was stress chivalry, and encouraged him to play as the protector/ defender. We had lots of knight costumes and he could fight dragons and "bad guys" to his hearts content.

I now have three boys, my oldest 11 years older than his next brother, and they all sword play, shoot nerf guns at each other and of course, wrestle.

Obviously the older one tones it down for the little boys, but the understanding is, if you play rough you might get hurt so stop when you've had enough.

 

As far as "does it stop?"...My oldest and many of his friends all have airsoft guns and paintball guns and plan outdoor battles. Dh joins in when he can.

I can think of more enjoyable things to do then collect black and blue bruises from paintball pellets, but that's just me :tongue_smilie:

[fairfarmhand]

I allow it..you know, pretend sword fighting, nerf guns and all that, but they are to be careful. As soon as someone gets hurt, mom owns the swords for awhile.

[NicAnn]

We don't allow gun play because we have real guns in the house and the kids are taught guns are not toys.

 

I read an article on Teacher Tom's blog about how boys in particular, really need a certain level of "violent" play. I don't discourage wrestling, sword fighting, and play like that (as long as everyone is happy playing that game).

[LaxMom]

I am not anti-gun. I'm anti-guns-as-toys. If you aim a gun, you are prepared to end a life. Period. Not a toy.

 

That said, my kids have water guns (that in no way resemble actual guns and are, in fact, very clever devices for soaking people) and the boys had swords and armor (but I think their swords have broken); they used to play "Black Knight" in the living room. Yes, THAT Black Knight... "Your arm is off!", "No it isn't, it's just a flesh wound..."

 

Honestly, we found that, as soon as they were big enough to sit up in the booster seats at the table, they were shooting their little rubberized spoons at each other. That was, I think, before their first birthday. They'd never been exposed to gun play of any sort... it makes me scared about the intrinsic traits of our species.

[jenniferlee]

Joanne,

It's not that I'm not asking for a discussion. It's more that I know there must be families out there who have tried to limit weapon/violent play. And I'm wondering how it works or does it?

[ocelotmom]

When DS was little, we didn't forbid toy guns, but we didn't encourage gun play, avoided them in movies, and didn't provide guns-as-toys. We did have real guns around the house, and he was aware of them.

 

He didn't start playing guns until probably 5 or so, and that was definitely peer-influenced. Definitely not one of those kids who starts making guns out of sticks all on his own.

 

Now he does have a nerf gun. My rule is that only non-projectile fake guns and water guns can be shot at people or pets, though I'll relax that circumstantially (say, if he's at the park and all the other kids are having a nerf gun fight). This is partially to reinforce the idea that we don't point guns at people we don't want to kill, and partially because no one living here actually likes being hit by nerf darts.

Edited July 15, 2011 by ocelotmom

[LibraryLover]

I never get involved with imaginitive play. I never saw anything that concerned me. That's their world and I made/make it a policy never to intrude there. My boys (22 and 17) played with various weapons, water cannons, etc and they are both good and decent young men who are respectful and loving, and who do not have aggressive tendencies. I've seen that to be true for most of the little boys we knew back then.

Edited July 16, 2011 by LibraryLover

[Joanne]

Joanne,

It's not that I'm not asking for a discussion. It's more that I know there must be families out there who have tried to limit weapon/violent play. And I'm wondering how it works or does it?

 

Ok. I posted my answer in the other thread, anyway. :)

[Plink]

We allow gun/sword play, but like others have said, we don't allow violence toward their friends. If they take out the water pistols, I help set up and obsticle course with targets. If they pull out the swords, then we hang a bag from a tree and they can attack it all they like. We have never had a problem with kids following the rules. A reminder is needed once in a while, but nothing more.

 

We don't do any violent media.

 

IMHO Weapons should be treated with respect . . . Even the pretend ones.

Edited July 15, 2011 by LibertyH

[kwickimom]

I replied on another thread about this, but just tossing my 2 cents in. My kids are taught about guns and gun safety starting at age 3 here. They go hunting with us all the time. Because of this guns are no big deal to them and they dont associate them with violence. But, we do not play violent video games and we dont watch violent TV shows. They assocaite guns with hunting and they respect them. They have played swords once, after their medieval library program, but other than that they dont really play weapons. I think because we havent made it a big deal and they had an early association with weapons only being used for hunting here.

[TxMama]

I did not allow my older kids to play with guns, etc. My oldest son is in the Navy and is training to be on the "pirate greeting committee". My oldest daughter is planning a career in law enforcement.

 

My younger kids have an arsenal of weapons and we encourage daily play. Maybe they will grow up to be accountants. IDK.

[TeenagerMom]

I tried not to when DS was little. We didn't have any toys guns, swords, etc., then about age 3-4 he started turning anything & everything into weapons. I worked in EI & watched the little boys there turn pvc pipes, Legos, etc. into guns & swords all.the.time and came to the realization that it's completely normal.

 

I gave up trying to squash the behavior. He now has Nerf guns, swords, nunchucks (foam), and his favorite, the collection of Light-sabers. That's ALL he & the neighbor boys do. It's all that he & DH do. We don't allow pointing at the faces & if he hits someone with the Lightsaber, it gets thrown on top of my carport where it meets it demise from the sun damaging the plastic. It only took 1 of them breaking for him to learn his lesson.

[bbkaren]

We don't allow gun play because we have real guns in the house and the kids are taught guns are not toys...

 

(First post here...easing into homeschooling along with public school until we move from NJ to TN this winter.)

 

The gun play issue is something we've needed to compromise on. We have guns in the house. To each his own, but our belief system states that it is our duty--indeed, our obligation--to protect ourselves and our family from those who would do us harm.

 

Our 5 year old isn't allowed to touch them or play with toy guns. If he wants to use his finger or a stick, no problem.

 

It's the danger of confusion I'm concerned about, not the possibility that he'll become violent from playing cops & robbers. (In fact, some kindergarteners here in NJ were recently suspended from school for just that sort of play, using their fingers as guns. No joke.)

 

When he's ready, he'll have a weapon of his own and will fully understand the finality of shooting a living creature. Until then, he takes our word for it.

 

In the meantime, he can chase his little buddies around with his finger drawn; he knows it's a game.

 

eta: apparently I lied - it's not my first post after all lol

Edited July 15, 2011 by bbkaren
I lied...

[Osmosis Mom]

My husband basically lets me call the shots on everything, but this is one thing he feels so strongly about so I let him have this one.

 

Well, at least your dh calls the shots on not allowing guns in the home, haha!!

 

Couldn't resist, Wendy!

[gingersmom]

No guns real/play in our house ever.

 

I also live in New Jersey and it is not a hotbed of hunting or people driving around with gun racks on their SUVs. :001_smile:

 

My son has always played with swords but that is about as exciting as it has gotten over here.

[Osmosis Mom]

LMAO

 

:lol:

 

Yeah, well at least he didn't pull the trigger on ya...

 

OK, I need to quiet it down. Can barely see through all this gun-powder here. Shoot. I meant gum-powder.

[dirty ethel rackham]

We tried from the beginning to not allow weapons of any sort. We limited TV so they didn't see much weapon play. They resorted to making them themselves. Chewing their bread into gun shapes. Making swords out of cardboard and covering with foil so they can be St. George slaying the dragon. I pretty much gave up when ds was making guns out of linking cubes from our math manipulatives set.

 

My boys are very gentle souls, but liked making weapons. I just never allowed them to "shoot" at people, only imaginary people or aliens. They mostly used them to act out scenes from books we were reading.

 

One thing you may want to try is weapons made from pool noodles. At the InHome conference, they usually have kids workshops on making foam swords and they have contests afterwards. My boys will go at it in the backyard with their collection of foam swords, battle axes, etc. I guess they get most of their aggression out at Karate and they are instructed on proper weapon use there.

[katilac]

We make a clear distinction with our children; weapons are never, under ANY circumstances, to be used to harm a person. Never. Ever. (No, not even for war or personal defense. It is part of our belief system.) So no, the boys do not play 'weapons' with other children, like sword fighting or playing 'war' or something.

 

That's interesting. I knew that some people were pacificts regarding war, but I hadn't heard of refusing to engage in personal defense. I know you say it's your personal belief - do you mind saying if that belief is part of your religion/denomination, or if it's something you've taken further on your own?

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I remember agonizing over this when my oldest was a toddler.

I hated the idea of my sweet baby being violent, so stayed away from toy weapons.

 

Yea...that didn't last.

 

He turned everything into a sword or gun. I was actually quite impressed with his imagination, lol!

 

What I did was stress chivalry, and encouraged him to play as the protector/ defender. We had lots of knight costumes and he could fight dragons and "bad guys" to his hearts content.

I now have three boys, my oldest 11 years older than his next brother, and they all sword play, shoot nerf guns at each other and of course, wrestle.

Obviously the older one tones it down for the little boys, but the understanding is, if you play rough you might get hurt so stop when you've had enough.

 

As far as "does it stop?"...My oldest and many of his friends all have airsoft guns and paintball guns and plan outdoor battles. Dh joins in when he can.

I can think of more enjoyable things to do then collect black and blue bruises from paintball pellets, but that's just me :tongue_smilie:

 

 

This is pretty much how it worked at our house. I don't like guns at all. But, when they start turning their Thomas the Tank Engine toys upside down, or their Star Wars guys sideways and start "shooting" things with them, it's kind of hard to control. I don't think we have any toy guns, except a couple of plastic squirt guns they got at a party, but they do find a way of turning just about anything into a gun. We've had the talks about how even if it's a pretend gun, you are not allowed to point it at a person or an animal. If you want to shoot your desk, your bed, or your pillow, go right ahead. :tongue_smilie:

[Dawn in OH]

My older two kids never showed any interest in guns. Probably because they had nearly no exposure to them. Most of their movies and stories featured swords, bows, and wands.

 

The 3 year old went through a gun not too long ago. I think it was from seeing Star Wars. I never allowed any toy guns in the house. He built some guns out of Lincoln Logs, but it was short lived.

 

We have one Nerf ball shooter. It doesn't look like a gun. I'm okay with that. Grandma got it for someone's birthday.

 

Our house is more sword and light saber oriented, and I like that.

[Tap]

We don't disallow pretend guns but we do disallow realistic ones (even if it is a bright color). If the kids made a gun out of Lego's we are okay with it, because it took imagination to get the shape and once they are done, it goes away. A realistic toy gun, has only one purpose, and blurs the line between real/fake too much. Every time a toy gun is picked up, it has only one purpose....pretend guns don't have this restriction.

 

We discouraged words like kill or dead for play time, and replaced the with 'gotcha' or the like (words you might use in a game of tag). We talked about the fact that real guns do make people 'killed' or 'dead' but toy guns do not. To us, using the correct vocabulary with a real weapon is important so they understand the difference.

 

My kids grew up with real guns. DS16 has his own as a matter of fact. He has a very healthy respect of what a real gun does, vs a pretend one.

 

This worked for us.

 

 

As far as swords go, we pretty much did the same thing. When ds and his friends were 12 ish, they went through a phase of fighting with wooden sticks (like sword fighting). We let them, as long as the parents knew what was going on and were realistic about the fact that their child could get hurt. To us, again, it was them understanding that real sticks, hurt! They were good kids, with strong self control and had well established rules that they agreed on about where they could hit and how hard. I consider some of this 'play' what shaped these kids into the men they are becoming today.

[Farrar]

We didn't allow them when the kids were really little, because I felt they had no capacity to understand or have a reasoned conversation about it. It was really simple. I just said, no. And when they started to play that sort of game, I would shut it down and explain our rule. I really only had to do it a few times though. Now that they're a little older, it's fine to me because I feel like we can talk about it and make distinctions. The nice thing is that I feel like having that as our basis from when they were 2 or 3 years old, they have really carried the idea that "guns are not toys" forward. I don't see them do a lot of gun play, not even with friends. We still don't allow realistic, modern toy weapons. That's not okay with me. But imaginative games with stick weapons, Lego "guns", plastic lightsabers... all fine.

[rafiki]

.

[2squared]

We don't allow violence against people and animals, and we don't limit guns/weapons and associated play. My dc do play hunter/gathering games all the time. They also spar, wrestle, etc.

 

My 7yo has his first bow & arrow set. He'll be getting a pocket knife and BB gun at some point in the next few years. Most men in our community hunt, so I expect that my boys will as well.

 

Where we live every homeowner has guns. I don't shoot our guns, so when dh is away, I call neighbors (adult men and teens) to take care of wild animals for me.

[Pretty in Pink]

I remember agonizing over this when my oldest was a toddler.

I hated the idea of my sweet baby being violent, so stayed away from toy weapons.

 

Yea...that didn't last.

 

He turned everything into a sword or gun. I was actually quite impressed with his imagination, lol!

 

What I did was stress chivalry, and encouraged him to play as the protector/ defender. We had lots of knight costumes and he could fight dragons and "bad guys" to his hearts content.

I now have three boys, my oldest 11 years older than his next brother, and they all sword play, shoot nerf guns at each other and of course, wrestle.

Obviously the older one tones it down for the little boys, but the understanding is, if you play rough you might get hurt so stop when you've had enough.

 

As far as "does it stop?"...My oldest and many of his friends all have airsoft guns and paintball guns and plan outdoor battles. Dh joins in when he can.

I can think of more enjoyable things to do then collect black and blue bruises from paintball pellets, but that's just me :tongue_smilie:

 

This. I did prohibit gun play up until my eldest ds was around 4. I wouldn't even let him use water guns. :tongue_smilie: I gave up when I realized that it was a lost cause.

 

I've seen my boys turn *everything* into a weapon -- they build guns out of linking cubes of all things and use plastic clothes hangers as bows and arrows (seriously...they stuff the hanger sideways down the backs of their shirts and then whip 'em out when they need to take out an enemy).

[T'smom]

My mom tried to not allow guns.....my brother just finished sniper school!

[twoforjoy]

I don't allow realistic-looking guns. Like, anything even close to realistic-looking. We live in a city, and it's too dangerous, IMO. Beyond that, I don't censor violent imaginative play.

[8circles]

Not anti-gun here at all. However, I don't allow my children to play with realistic-looking guns or play where the whole point is to shoot each other. I realize that's subjective but that's how it is. They do play with play swords & guns (water or imaginary) but it must be part of a bigger-picture game.

 

In theory I like Nerf guns, but we received one as a gift & I couldn't believe how realistic it was. That went immediately into the Goodwill box.

[Dustybug]

When we first had our son, I was adamantly against gun play. DH felt differently, but it hasn't become an issue until lately when my DS saw his four boy cousins shooting each other with NERF guns. Now, my MIL wants to buy one for our son. After talking, we've agreed that he can play with them, but NO shooting at people(except water guns) and no "killing" or "dead" being used during play.

DS was turning other things into guns as well.

 

On a side note, my DH is a hunter as well and my son has used clothes hangers as bow and arrows too. :001_smile:

 

AND David and Goliath is my son's favorite Bible story and so anything that has ANY kind of rope or string automatically gets turned into a slingshot that he whirls over his head. He will walk around saying, "You fight me with your sword and shield Goliath, but I fight you in the name of GOD!" and whip out his makeshift sling and fling imaginary stones. lol

[8circles]

One thing you may want to try is weapons made from pool noodles. At the InHome conference, they usually have kids workshops on making foam swords and they have contests afterwards. My boys will go at it in the backyard with their collection of foam swords, battle axes, etc. I guess they get most of their aggression out at Karate and they are instructed on proper weapon use there.

 

Love this idea!

[stansclan89]

I did not allow my older kids to play with guns, etc. My oldest son is in the Navy and is training to be on the "pirate greeting committee". My oldest daughter is planning a career in law enforcement.

 

My younger kids have an arsenal of weapons and we encourage daily play. Maybe they will grow up to be accountants. IDK.

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[kalanamak]

Do your kids accept it or resent it?

What do they play with instead?

Do they just make weapons with sticks, etc? And do you allow that?

 

 

Accept. Hasn't ever pushed the issue. He's much more lego, stuffed animal, Zoobs, throwing rocks in the water, and kayaking-oriented.

 

A stick here and there, and super-soakers in season.

 

I allow sticks and super-soakers. "Shooting noises" not in the house. Guns interest him, but not hugely.

[Mommyfaithe]

I didn't allow gun play with my oldest 2 until older boy bit his toast into a gun and shot me...ds #2 bent a Barbie in half and turned it into a machine gun.

 

Instead of banning gun play, I guided it....they can pretend hunt...or pretend target shoot...but no shooting each other...or mom ....or guests. bad guys...sort of ok....but no friends are allowed to be bad guys. Bad guys have to be pretend...and no automatic weapons. Laser swords are cool for fighting space aliens:D

 

Faithe...who has 4 boys...and hopes my house can last through it.

[Runningmom80]

We said no, no, no, NO to guns for a long time. It sort of made the guns a crazy obsession. He wouldn't stop asking for, talking about, and making his own. So now we allow nerf guns. I'm trying to encourage other play. I wish I knew how to handle it better, but the guns being the forbidden fruit made the whole thing backfire on us. I kind of felt like I needed to allow some so he could experience it and move on.

[Aggie]

I have four boys and I allow gun play with safety rules such as no shooting at faces (with things like Nerf guns) and not getting too close or not shooting water guns at people who don't want to play. Now, all four of my boys know how to shoot real guns and do it for recreation. They learned to shoot at Scout camp where safety is emphasized and they're all pretty good shots.

 

Same rules here. Dh teaches all our dc gun safety and how to shoot.

 

I remember agonizing over this when my oldest was a toddler.

I hated the idea of my sweet baby being violent, so stayed away from toy weapons.

 

Yea...that didn't last.

 

He turned everything into a sword or gun. I was actually quite impressed with his imagination, lol!

 

What I did was stress chivalry, and encouraged him to play as the protector/ defender. We had lots of knight costumes and he could fight dragons and "bad guys" to his hearts content.

I now have three boys, my oldest 11 years older than his next brother, and they all sword play, shoot nerf guns at each other and of course, wrestle.

Obviously the older one tones it down for the little boys, but the understanding is, if you play rough you might get hurt so stop when you've had enough.

 

As far as "does it stop?"...My oldest and many of his friends all have airsoft guns and paintball guns and plan outdoor battles. Dh joins in when he can.

I can think of more enjoyable things to do then collect black and blue bruises from paintball pellets, but that's just me :tongue_smilie:

:001_smile:

 

I never got involved in my childrens' play lives. I never saw anything that concerned me in any way. That's their world and I made/make it a policy never to intrude there. My boys (22 and 17) played with various weapons, water cannons, etc and they are both good and decent young men who are respectful and loving, and who do not have aggressive tendencies. I've seen that to be true for most of the little boys we knew back then.

 

This is my husband. He told me that he was, like ds, always playing with weapons. And you will never meet a gentler soul than my dh.

 

I did not allow my older kids to play with guns, etc. My oldest son is in the Navy and is training to be on the "pirate greeting committee". My oldest daughter is planning a career in law enforcement.

 

My younger kids have an arsenal of weapons and we encourage daily play. Maybe they will grow up to be accountants. IDK.

:lol:

 

My mom tried to not allow guns.....my brother just finished sniper school!

:lol::lol:

[Pamela H in Texas]

"no guns, no violence"

"no hitting, no violence"

"no cutting, no violence"

 

Etc. My kids can recite it now.

 

We also talk about how little boys (and girls) are for hugging and kissing and tickling (see blog: http://edufunmom.wordpress.com/2011/05/22/little-boys-and-girls/) not hitting.

 

Animals, even the T-Rex, help people (like the Wonder Pets) rather than tear others to shreds.

Police officers help people, not just shoot them or haul them off to jail.

We took the knives out of their play dishes set since they seem to be used to dismember bodies. We took the saws for the same reason. They will be added back soon when they come up with other things they could be for.

 

They can be violent with Ms T (play therapist), but not around me.

 

They know what the scriptures say (Ps 11:5, for example).

 

For us, this is very difficult because though they never see any violence here, they most certainly saw it at home, on tv, even foster care (they were removed from the last foster home because of spankings) before they got here. However, schools have a zero tolerance policy so they may as well get used to it (all three preschoolers will be in public school in the fall).

 

We are also working on changing their view of "cops" (and encourage them to be called police officers and without disdain in our voices). Same with judges. Same with belts. My kids honestly didn't know what a belt was *really* for. It is sad to see kids act out how parents are when drinking.

 

Now, generally, I haven't needed to be so strict in the past. Obviously, there is some acceptable "violence" in the world (animal on animal, people on animal for food, Mario Kart (lol), etc). But these kids so can not regulate acceptable vs not. It's going to be a long long long while before their propensity in every play situation as well as relationship situation is not violent.

[FiveOaksAcademy]

We allow it. They're boys. God made boys to want to be protectors and heros...part of me feels that guns are just a part of that. I have kind, loving boys who like swords and guns.

[kewb]

How does it work out? It works out fine. My kids, friends, and family all know that we do not allow realistic guns/weapons in our home.

Have you done it from the beginning? Yes.

Did you change over at some point? No.

Do your kids accept it or resent it? They accept it. I am sure ds resents it on occasion.

What do they play with instead? Everything and anything.

Do they just make weapons with sticks, etc? And do you allow that? Yes, they do make weapons from sticks, legos, and anything else they can make a weapon fom. Yes, we allow it. That is imaginative play and is clearly not really a weapon or gun.

[NittanyJen]

We pretty much have a complete arsenal for the boys... Except no realistic guns. My DS10 has a BB gun, but knows it is not a toy; it is used with adult supervision, with safety goggles, etc. We have water pistols, nerds, etc, none of which can be aimed at a person's face even "by accident" or it disappears.

 

My MIL has a realistic cap pistol in her basement, and my then DS6 came busting up the stairs to get me at a Christmas party one year, "Mom, the kids say this gun downstairs is a toy, and I know C (cousin, 18) is almost a grownup, but I told them nobody can touch it unless you or Dad says it is really a toy!". I was well-pleased that even under peer-pressure and in the high excitement environment of a Christmas party with 14 cousins, our lessons had sunk in. I gave the gun an okay after making a show of a careful inspection (the thing is 45 years old and I knew exactly what it was) and play resumed.

 

I think if my kids had been entirely shielded from guns, he might not have had the same response-- an older toy, this one was very realistic looking. My kids just won't touch a new toy gun until we say yes.

 

Because we have not made them mysterious and exciting, they don't pick up new ones out of sheer curiosity. I worry more about the kids at their former school, where even pointing a finger and saying BANG results in suspension and behavior modification classes! How romantic, mysterious, and dramatic these forbidden objects must be! Those are the kids who are more likely to pick up a gun found by chance and experiment with it, as kids are not known for impulse control just because we want them to be.

 

I am relying on a certain maturing of the brain to help with a different approach, of course, when it comes to drugs and relationships as they grow :001_smile: I won't rely upon letting them sample those to take out the mystery there :001_smile:

 

 

 

Fortunately,

[SweetMissMagnolia]

my husband has REAL guns (locked up in safe) so we don't think guns should be viewed as toys.....I've just never brought toy guns in our house and I don't think he's ever gotten them as "gifts".... hubby got him a BB gun a few years ago in the thought that he would show him how to use it and as he gets older show him how to respect guns.....but he hasn't shown it to him yet.......

[katilac]

Can those of you who allow sword and saber play (but not gun play) expand a bit on the thought process? Why that distinction?

[MrsJewelsRae]

We don't allow toy guns, never have. My oldest got one of those pump action nurf guns when he was 3 from BIL and it said not to pump more than like 5-10 times, so of course my brother had to see what would happen if he pumped it like 100 times, then shot it without looking. It hit me square in the nose and I screamed so loud I swear I thought it was broken it hurt so badly. The toy was returned to Wmart the next day! :glare: Ds is allowed to play with lightsabers and foam swords, but never in violence against another person. He pretends to arrest bad guys and defend our home, etc, pretends to hunt monsters or animals for food. Even when he was 2-3, he had very few friends, never seen tv, never had toy guns and yet he would pick up sticks and aim them at things and make noises. :confused: Some things are hard wired, so we work with it. In my friends that do allow lots of toy guns from a young age it seems like it always escalates, their kids have no qualms pointing said toy gun in an adults' face and saying "bang, you're dead!" :001_huh: They also let their children (who in my opinion are far too young, too immature and too impulsive) graduate to other weapons like bb guns (and one's sister got shot in the face accidentally) and pocket knives (another boy thought it would be funny to pretend to threaten my ds w/ it while jumping on the trampoline!). Yet another incident- we arrived at a boy's bday party and the boys were all lined up doing target practice on a cardboard bullseye- using the birthday boy's knife collection!!! Honestly, do the parents not see the danger in this!!?? These boys are all 10 and under, btw.

 

Oh, we also allow squirt guns, but nothing realistic looking.

[desertmum]

Ds has a squirt gun to use at the beach. That's it. One time I watched an old Errol Flynn movie with ds and then we wanted to play "pirates" with another child and pointing a pencil at him. I had to stop it right there and then. After that I make sure ds doesn't have anything pointy in his hand and I tell him pointy things are dangerous. Ds is only 4.

 

Funny thing is dh hates violents movie and I love them (I can't kill a mouse so that proves violent movie don't necessarily make a person violent). I'm the only one in the house who has seen all 3 Matrix movies...

[Plucky]

Yes, when my oldest boy was born I swore to not do the gun thing. When he was 2 someone handed him a water gun and I was so upset. He absolutely loved it. In the end we gave up the no gun policy and my boys are not violent barbarians, but they do enjoy guns, gun play, and shooting at the firing range.