Co-sleeping?

[Lovemyblessings]

As I lay here in bed with 2 children next to me, I wonder how many other families sleep this way? Both of my children were born and went strait to the crib. I heeded the advice of all who said "don't bring a baby into your bed!" Well, they are getting older, and frankly, I just don't care if they are in my bed or not. I should mention I am single so the issue of adult intimacy really isn't an issue at all. I just know some people strongly object to a family bed, and I'm beginning to wonder why? Any thoughts, hive?

[Impish]

I cosleep by default when they're infants. IOW, I bring them into bed to nurse, and fall asleep for a bit.

 

I can't maintain that. I do not sleep well at all with babies beside me, and rapidly become sleep deprived, leading to migraines, flu like symptoms, and general losing of my mind.

 

When kids get bigger, I'm still not cut out for it. My kids kick, squirm, talk in their sleep...They can crash on my floor, but not in my bed.

 

I honestly don't have feelings one way or the other about cosleeping or family beds. I know *I* can't hack it, but it never occurred to me to care about what other families choose :lol:

[Cassy]

You're not alone. DS4 and DS6, my third and fourth babies, both slept next to me from day one. DS4 was born at home and so, after a quick change of sheets, was snuggled in bed with me within an hour of birth :tongue_smilie:. I found breastfeeding in the night so much easier if the baby was already there next to me, and often even slept through a feed after they were a few weeks old. They're both still in my bed, DH comes and goes depending on how wriggly they are on any particular night. I feel very sad about the idea of no longer having my little teddy bears in bed with me any more.

 

Cassy

Edited July 4, 2011 by Cassy

[Outdoorsy Type]

I didn't when they were infants because nobody would get any sleep. When my youngest was about 18 months he moved to a "big boy bed" and at that time he would get in our bed at 4am every morning until time to get up. It stopped at about 3.5, and while I sleep better I do miss it a bit. :)

[Flux]

We have a twin right next to our queen and we all still sleep in the family bed. My in-laws freak out about it, but my husband and I are very creative and we just don't use the bed for intimacy. We are growing weary of getting pummeled all night by kiddos, though. This will be the year we kick them out. Cuddling/reading etc. in the family bed will continue to be fine, but we're getting tired of getting kicks to the head. I think it was maybe Chris Rock(?) who had a joke about how you know you're old if you wake up in the morning and feel like the bed/sleep has kicked your butt all night!

[LidiyaDawn]

No co-sleeping here… dh is a VERY heavy sleeper *and* a fairly heavy smoker. (He doesn't smoke in the house [ever] but it's one of the "you shouldn't co-sleep if" things..)

 

Our newbie's crib is in our room though, on my side of the bed, about three feet away. I could never sleep if he was in another room!

[Rosy]

I never did. By bedtime I wanted space from my kids. I love them with all my heart, but I spend my whole day with them, serving them, and when they were babies I had someone physically attached to me most of the day. So I personally needed to be able to put them to bed in a different room and spend some time with DH or by myself being a grown-up.

 

No judgment for anyone who feels differently, I certainly don't think it's wrong to allow your kids access to you all day, every day. I just have my limits, personally.

[coffeegal]

All children start the night in their own beds, but often ended the night in our bed when they were little. The oldest 3 stopped coming to our bed the week before #4 was born. :001_huh: #4 gradually tapered off and hasn't shown up to hop in bed in a year or more. #5 sleeps better in her own bed. #6's crib is next to my bed. He still wakes up to nurse and then we both fall asleep. :001_smile:

[HSMom2One]

In the majority of other cultures in the world, families share a bed together. It's our American culture that has made it so controversial. I read up on this when dd was tiny because she needed to be with us at night and my other children had all slept alone. The more I read, the more I was convinced that co-sleeping is normal and natural, despite what so many others claim here in our country. One writer even stated that because we push our little ones away and insist that they deal with fears and insecurities alone in their own beds, we shouldn't wonder why they don't want to come to us when they need us later as teenagers. I've always remembered that. It's not just a matter of leaving the door open, but being available 24/7 to your dc. Just some thoughts to consider...

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[mom2denj]

My two older childern (now 18 and 14) both slept with my husband and I until the age of 3. My baby dd now 5, still sleeps with us. I do not regret co-sleeping at all. You only have a short time with them as babies and I soaked all up that I could! My two olders turned out just fine. My kids slept through the night from a very early age. It worked for us. Though, ALOT of our friends think we are nuts!:D

 

I totally understand that most people want their space at night. I also know that people who sleep heavy should not co-sleep. I am an extremely light sleeper.

Edited July 4, 2011 by mom2denj

[kwickimom]

I cannot sleep if the kids are in the room, let alone the bed, even babies. I have a bathroom right next to my bed and I put the babies in their cradle in there. I would get seiously ill after I had the babies because I was literally getting NO sleep. Everytime they moved or sighed I would wake up. Just having that wall between us helped wonders. My kids get put in their cribs in their own rooms at about 6 months and they never have even tried to sleep with me and DH. They all adjusted with no problems whatsoever. They have no trouble sleeping over at family's houses hundreds of miles away and they are very secure.

[MelanieM]

We are a co-sleeping family, and have never even owned a crib. I really wouldn't have it any other way.

[eternalknot]

As I lay here in bed with 2 children next to me, I wonder how many other families sleep this way? Both of my children were born and went strait to the crib. I heeded the advice of all who said "don't bring a baby into your bed!" Well, they are getting older, and frankly, I just don't care if they are in my bed or not. I should mention I am single so the issue of adult intimacy really isn't an issue at all. I just know some people strongly object to a family bed, and I'm beginning to wonder why? Any thoughts, hive?

 

My kids co-sleep, sometimes with me but pretty much with anybody. We've lived with my parents and siblings off and on through the years, and always play musical beds. I grew up sharing a bed and a bedroom, so it's normal for me. My kids have the option of a single bed, but neither uses it much; sometimes my son will sleep in the other room, but that's usually because he's struggling with allergies and knows he'll be tossing and turning. Other than that, the three of us share a bed. They are 10 and 5. I'm guessing it won't be long before my 10 year old (boy) feels like he needs more privacy in bed, and moves into his own - for good.

 

Like you, I've spent many years as a functioning single parent so adult intimacy was of little relevance. But even when it was a factor, co-sleeping didn't really get in the way. Maybe it's because I come from a large family, but ... it was never a secret that the parents were getting their freak on, nor was it a surprise that every 12-18 months my mother was bringing home a new baby! Thin walls, tight on space, and all of that. We just rolled over, went back to sleep; my kids have been conditioned to do pretty well the same whenever their Daddy stayed with us.

 

My husband's family objects because they feel it is an intrusion of the marriage bed. They're Catholic/Christian, so I think that influences their opinion of the family bed. They also worry about heavy sleepers, and such. Seems valid enough on both counts, IMO, but not enough for me to change how I do things (I choose to raise my kids the way I was raised). In my culture it's not unusual to share a sleeping space with siblings, parents, grandparents, etc.

 

The first time I had my own bed was when I went to (work) training for six weeks, and was put up at a hotel. I didn't sleep well by myself, and was a zombie for those six weeks. (I've since gotten quite better at being able to sleep by myself, and when my job puts me up at hotels I sleep fabulously! Too fabulously LOL).

 

My husband will lay down with the kids when he puts them to bed, but he leaves the room after an hour or so (after he doses off and wakes back up ;)) and sleeps in his own bed and room. Good compromise for us.

[clarkacademy]

We did. The kids slept off and on with us all the time. The youngest still sleeps with me

[kewb]

Co-sleeping family. We all slept better when sharing the bed/room. I had friends who never let their kids near their beds and friends who co-slept. Friends who claimed not to co-sleep but by morning everyone was in the same bed.

[Crimson Wife]

My oldest co-slept with us by default until she became mobile. We didn't intend to have it be that way, but it was the only way that she would sleep. Our younger two were in the bassinette in our room until they became mobile.

[LaxMom]

Three of my four coslept as infant/toddlers, leaving our bed at about 3 1/2. The boys have never slept alone; they share a double bed still.

 

With twin nurslings, I would have gotten less sleep than the razor's edge of sanity amount I did get if they had slep elsewhere but, now that they're bigger, it's really nice to be able to lie in bed and watch tv or read before sleep.

 

Now, I'm looking forward to them understanding that our bedroom is not public domain. I love them and spend the vast majority of my waking life with them but I want my own space.

 

Like Impish said, it's what works for any given family. I've never really thought too much about forming an opinion on how the different options work for other families.

Edited July 4, 2011 by MyCrazyHouse

[Lolosoli]

Of all the parenting choices we have......co-sleeping is right there at the very top for me!!!!!! I believe very, very strongly in it!!!!

 

I'm pretty passionate about it to be honest so I'm not reading your other replies!!! LOL

 

I will say that you won't regret this amazing time you are spending with them!!!! They are only children once and they DO (if/when the conditions are right) kick you out of the bed before you know it!!! For my kids that was age 2, age 7 and now my 6 year old seems to be getting ready. My co-sleeping days are numbered...

 

I've cherished every moment of our night-time parenting adventures...we've had some great times and we were together through the tough times!

[Tohru]

In the majority of other cultures in the world, families share a bed together. It's our American culture that has made it so controversial. I read up on this when dd was tiny because she needed to be with us at night and my other children had all slept alone. The more I read, the more I was convinced that co-sleeping is normal and natural, despite what so many others claim here in our country. One writer even stated that because we push our little ones away and insist that they deal with fears and insecurities alone in their own beds, we shouldn't wonder why they don't want to come to us when they need us later as teenagers. I've always remembered that. It's not just a matter of leaving the door open, but being available 24/7 to your dc. Just some thoughts to consider...

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

 

:iagree:

Plus in America, I think more people jump to conclusions and are concerned of what could happen in the bed.

 

My ds slept with us until he was about 6 - 7yo. Around then, we put a twin next to our bed and he slept in that. He's always had his own bedroom. Now he actually sleeps in it and keeps his door closed by choice. My 3yo also has her own room too, but sleeps with us.

 

The kids being in our bed never interfered with intimacy because we just have our teA elsewhere :tongue_smilie:

[ChristusG]

We have a family bedroom. From day one, our babies slept with us. I wouldn't have it any other way. When I brought DD#1 home from the hospital, I laid her in a pack-n-play bassinet beside our bed. I glanced down at her, saw how little she was, and thought that babies that little shouldn't have to sleep all by themselves.....she looked so small and alone. So I brought her into our bed.

 

When she turned about 6 years old, we bought a full sized bed and pushed it right up next to our bed. That's where DD7 and DD4 sleep now (DD4 slept in bed with us from birth till late 3 years old). Most nights, DD4 will still crawl from her bed into our bed sometime (which is like a whole 12 inches LOL) in the night, but DD7 doesn't usually wake at all.

 

I love our family bed/bedroom. I wouldn't have it any other way. I love waking and seeing our whole family right there, knowing everyone is safe and secure where I can see them, and snug as a bug in a rug. :D

[BakersDozen]

I can't maintain that. I do not sleep well at all with babies beside me, and rapidly become sleep deprived, leading to migraines, flu like symptoms, and general losing of my mind.

 

When kids get bigger, I'm still not cut out for it. My kids kick, squirm, talk in their sleep...They can crash on my floor, but not in my bed.

 

 

:iagree:

 

I could ditto all the posts about needing my own space/bed, not sleeping well, etc. I tried cosleeping and it was disastrous; my dh after watching me for about 3 weeks finally said, "Baby is out of this room tonight!" Best decision he ever made (and that I actually listened to, lol). I just got back from 3 weeks of vacation during which time I had at least one dc in my room with me if not more and I was exhausted to the point of sick.

 

I also refuse to nurse in bed while laying down. My fear of rolling over just a little too much and suffocating my newborn is huge (happened to a woman I babysat for growing up) so I make the effort to sit up in a chair.

[sparrow]

I never did. By bedtime I wanted space from my kids. I love them with all my heart, but I spend my whole day with them, serving them, and when they were babies I had someone physically attached to me most of the day. So I personally needed to be able to put them to bed in a different room and spend some time with DH or by myself being a grown-up.

 

No judgment for anyone who feels differently, I certainly don't think it's wrong to allow your kids access to you all day, every day. I just have my limits, personally.

 

 

Ditto. I could have written every single word of this post.

[Mandy in TN]

As I lay here in bed with 2 children next to me, I wonder how many other families sleep this way? Both of my children were born and went strait to the crib. I heeded the advice of all who said "don't bring a baby into your bed!" Well, they are getting older, and frankly, I just don't care if they are in my bed or not. I should mention I am single so the issue of adult intimacy really isn't an issue at all. I just know some people strongly object to a family bed, and I'm beginning to wonder why? Any thoughts, hive?

When dh, who is Persian, and I started talking about marriage, I asked him where babies slept. Without pausing to think, he said that babies sleep with their parents. :thumbup: He was a keeper. (Actually, I think that he thought it was an odd question to ask.)

 

I guess I should have thought to ask where the family sleeps, because then I would have known that the bed in his home was purely decorative. Dh says mattresses hurt his back and I really feel better sleeping on a mattress.:tongue_smilie:

 

So, technically we don't have a family bed. I have my bed and dh... well he doesn't. Our baby (now 8yo) has his own bed that is decorative, because he almost never sleeps there. Sometimes he sleeps with me and sometimes he sleeps with dh. Based on experience with my big boys, I am guessing that this will end in the next couple of years.

 

My vote would be to do whatever works for your family.

Mandy

[DianeW88]

Only when I was nursing and then they were in an "Arm's Reach" sleeper next to my bed. After that....off to their own rooms. I like being a grown-up at night. :D

[meggie]

I have nothing against co-sleeping, I just don't know how people do it!

 

When you have to change their diaper, don't you have to get up to get the stuff anyway? My MIL says she just rolls them from one side to another throughout the night but what about diaper changes?

 

My arm falls asleep with babies lying on it. And since I don't want to disturb them, I feel stuck. It's incredibly hard for me to sleep with a painful arm.

 

I cannot get any rest. For one, I look at them too much. They are so adorable and beautiful and peaceful. Also, I am so worried about me or my husband rolling over onto them. This means I spend most of the night awake with very little restful sleep, which makes for a tired and crazy momma.

 

My oldest and my youngest transitioned to their beds very nicely. I don't feel that I abandoned them at all. I still take care of them if they cry in the middle of the night. My middle didn't sleep well at all his first year, either in my bed or in his crib in my room.

 

Now my oldest has taken to sneaking into my bed after he's supposed to be asleep. This is fine with me, but he's moved back to his bed once my husband and I go to bed. He's too much of a thrasher and kicker to stay there all night. In my home, EVERYONE is much happier if I have gotten enough rest.

[VeganCupcake]

We cosleep part-time. I sleep differently with the baby or toddler in the bed with me than I do when they are sleeping in their own beds. From what I've read, mothers and babies who bedshare have synchronized sleep cycles and wake at about the same times. That's why I always feel startled awake when one of my little ones starts crying from another bed, whereas if he or she is in bed with me, I feel like I've woken much more gently. I also just seem to "know" they're there, so I don't worry about rolling onto them. I don't let them sleep *on* me, though!

 

I keep diaper changing supplies for the little guy on my bedside table and change him while sitting in bed.

[Farrar]

My two co-slept until age 6, at which point I realized I was done and moved them out - without much hassle, I'll add. When they were tiny it was hard because they were tiny. I always wanted to co-sleep, but as they were such horrible sleepers, we did try cribs for awhile, it was just much, much worse. But around age 2.5 they became good sleepers and we had a nice, long run of co-sleeping which I enjoyed greatly.

[Tarreymere]

My birth children (6 in all) have all been co-sleepers even before I had heard of co-sleeping, it is just easier to nurse that way. We had finally gone to a mattress on the floor with a twin mattress next to the big one and they gradually got kicked out to the twin mattress and the twin mattress slowly migrated across the floor to the hall and into another bedroom. I guess, depending on the child, that they would tend to make it into a completely different room around two or three years old. I am not a big fan of sharing my space with littles who kick and toss and turn all night, just cuddly babies.

[myfatherslily]

As I lay here in bed with 2 children next to me, I wonder how many other families sleep this way? Both of my children were born and went strait to the crib. I heeded the advice of all who said "don't bring a baby into your bed!" Well, they are getting older, and frankly, I just don't care if they are in my bed or not. I should mention I am single so the issue of adult intimacy really isn't an issue at all. I just know some people strongly object to a family bed, and I'm beginning to wonder why? Any thoughts, hive?

 

My sons end up in my bed every night! I usually put all the kids to bed in their own room, but the boys never stay. It doesn't bother me now that I'm single and it didn't bother me much before... except that it doesn't take much for the bed to be really crowded when there are two adults there already! My daughter doesn't come in because she sleeps so soundly. I have to make sure I give her turns by letting her start the night in my bed sometimes:)

 

The only problems I have are when people say that all families should co-sleep or that families should never co-sleep. It varies so much by family. I was quite taken aback recently when I was in a small group at church and one lady said she thinks children should not sleep in their parents bed. I really wanted to argue with her right then and there but we were in Sunday School at the time:tongue_smilie:

 

DS5 has slept in my bed regularly since he was an infant. It was either that, or neither of us slept at all. He was a light-sleeping, colicky infant who turned into a light-sleeping child with frequent night terrors. I also believe that he has a very strong need to be close and that he wouldn't feel loved without it. My other children are different and DS3 probably wouldn't come into my bed if DS5 didn't keep waking him up with all his night crying!!

 

Anyway, I believe strongly that it works for us right now. I also believe strongly that if it doesn't work for someone else, they shouldn't do it. No harm will be done. Just don't infer that marriages will fall apart if kids sleep in their parents' bed, as the person at church did, cause I'm pretty confident that my marriage fell apart for other far more significant reasons;)

 

(Edit: I should clarify that the person wasn't suggesting that to me specifically. She didn't know my kids sleep in my bed.)

[weddell]

We co-slept with both our babies. When dd, our first baby, was born I intended for her to sleep in a bassinet beside our bed. That baby would.not.sleep.alone. I would rock her, nurse, her, whatever and then wait a good 20 minutes until she was supposedly deep asleep and could be put in her bed. As soon as I stopped touching her she would wake up and not go back to sleep. Her dr (family practice) said I should just let her sleep in our bed if I wanted. He said he thought co-sleeping was safe as long as you followed all the safety rules. So that night I put dd in our bed and she slept ALL NIGHT. I was a convert. After having her there, I realized that I would never roll over on her and getting up to nurse was so easy.

 

Both kids moved into their own beds around 2.5. DD would still crawl into our bed on a regular basis until she was about 4. One night she came into our bed, laid there for a while, and then said, "this isn't comfortable, I'm going back to my bed" and we haven't seen her since. DS is still 2 and comes in early in the morning to sleep as close to me as he possibly can.

[WishboneDawn]

I didn't co-sleep with Catherine, did with Harry and won't with the next one. I'm older with a lot more on the go and with this next one me getting a good night's sleep ASAP is going to be a priority. I'll be working on routine and sleeping through the night, things neither of my first two really had or did.

[BlsdMama]

As I lay here in bed with 2 children next to me, I wonder how many other families sleep this way? Both of my children were born and went strait to the crib. I heeded the advice of all who said "don't bring a baby into your bed!" Well, they are getting older, and frankly, I just don't care if they are in my bed or not. I should mention I am single so the issue of adult intimacy really isn't an issue at all. I just know some people strongly object to a family bed, and I'm beginning to wonder why? Any thoughts, hive?

 

 

I wouldn't know... We've co-slept with all of our little ones except one who really wanted her own space from the time she was itty bitty. :) We finally gave up even the appearance of conventialism, lol, and got rid of our crib a few years ago. It only took up space. :D When we're expecting a new baby, the current toddler moves in with a sibling. Everyone debates over the new baby who will eventually "get" her, lol. It has fostered close sib relationships as well. It's a beautiful thing and you can't explain it to anyone until they've tried it. There is also a proven chemical reaction/link to those you sleep with whether it is a child or a spouse.

 

ETA: I will add that both my co-sleepers and my one non co-sleeper are OUTSTANDING sleepers. Obviously not as infants when I'm nursing through the night, but I honestly feel small babies are NOT meant to sleep through the night if they are breastfed. Breastmilk is just metabolized too quickly, so truthfully, co-sleeping came about as a survival mechanism for me to get more rest - not less. I'll also nap with Baby Olivia now for the next couple of months - it will encourage my body to rest and heal and recover from birth and enable a good milk supply. Then eventually she'll begin to nap on her own as do our older children. Co-sleeping has been an incredible blessing for us and there is nothing sweeter than wrapping your body around a tiny baby or waking up smelling toddler hair. :)

Edited July 4, 2011 by BlsdMama

[T'smom]

Our 3 yo sleeps in bed with us and the baby (now that she can climb out of a co-sleeper) sleeps in a packnplay type thing next to our bed. I wish the 3 yo would sleep in his own bed, but he seems to need the closeness. My in-laws go on and on and ON about it. The other day after listening to dh's half of the convo on the phone- it was obvious they'd been quizzing him for 30 min about sleeping arrangements, I asked very loudly "WHY do they care so much about where the kids sleep?!?!?!" Seriously- I don't care where other people's kids sleep- why does anyone else care about where my kids sleep?!?!!?

[Mommy22alyns]

When the girls were very tiny we co-slept a bit. Mostly nursing to sleep and me falling asleep too. But I have chronic insomnia and sleep pretty lightly, so I couldn't keep them in the bed for too long. Sylvia still wants someone to snuggle her before bed though, so I lie down with her in my bed. DH moves her before I go to sleep.

 

As far as anyone else co-sleeping, if it works for you I have nothing to say! :)

[Desert Rat]

We're a co-sleeping family. After the toddler stage, the boys went to sleep in their own rooms and could come in whenever they wanted. It worked great for us. Ds8 still joins us 1-2 times a month. Oldest is completely grown out of that phase.

[jewellsmommy]

Our dd co-slept. She had health issues young and that was what started it. However, we just kept going. We had a twin right up against our queen. She stayed in our room all the way up to 8. Never a problem. We just didn't talk about it with other people.

 

And dh and I never suffered for it...:tongue_smilie:.

[Sandy in Indy]

I was anti-co-sleeping until I had baby #3. He simply didn't sleep unless he was touching me. I tried all the tricks like putting a heating pad in and warming the bed up first...no go. So after 4 months of not sleeping, I gave in..and we actually slept. It was wonderful! As long as he held my shirt (and I was in it!), he slept.

 

After a while it bothered my dh, so we put a twin beside our bed and dh slept in the twin. It took 5 years before ds would sleep without me, but one day he simply jumped into the twin and said, "I'm sleeping here." (It was a long 5 years!)

 

Frankly, I think families need to do what works. If that's co-sleeping, so be it!

[BlsdMama]

Seriously- I don't care where other people's kids sleep- why does anyone else care about where my kids sleep?!?!!?

 

It does continually amaze me. Our co-sleeping *was* the topic of much discussion when the oldest ones were younger. We heard often, "They'll never leave your bed..." Yes, please picture it... My daughter sleeping with me in her senior year of high school. Does anyone know ANYONE like this? :glare::D

 

Now, of course, we don't get hassled. Our kids don't tend to be very clingy, but of course, if you have a high-touch/high-needs toddler, co-sleeping WILL be blamed.

 

After having successfully "graduated" 7 and almost the 8th out of our bed, family leaves it well enough alone. Of course, we've learned not to bring it up in conversation as well. Once we were advocates, lol, now we just sit quietly unless asked or if they are "picking" on someone else. :D

[DawnM]

We co-slept for a long time!

 

We don't anymore.

[Momof3littles]

My oldest two each coslept for about 3 years and then transitioned pretty smoothly into their own rooms. They are 7 and 4 and both sleep great on their own. The baby is a little over a year old and is still cosleeping.

[Annie]

Instead of a crib, we got a second queen size mattress. We took apart our bed and pushed the two queen mattresses together on the floor. It's amazing! We can cuddle when we want to, but we have our own space when we prefer that. Now my DH and I can't imagine how the two of us managed to share one queen with the cat. :tongue_smilie: The plan is for our DS to decide when he would like to sleep by himself, and since we have plenty of space, I don't see the plan changing. He's already shown a lot of progress to more independent sleeping. Starting at about 9 months, he would finish nursing, and then roll over and fall asleep without needing me to be touching him. He probably spends 90% of the night sleeping in his own space on the bed.

 

I can't imagine doing it any other way. We love our family bed.

[smilesonly]

If it is your instinct to sleep with your dc, then do it and ignore everyone else.

 

We slept with our dc till they were 6. I breastfed them till they were just past 4.;)

 

It felt odd to me to not sleep with my babes, and felt totally natural to sleep with them as they grew out of the preschool age. We've never had bedtime issues, and our dc transitioned into their own beds and rooms w/o any trouble.:)

 

It's not for everyone, but we each need to think of our own dcs needs and how best we can meet them.

[smilesonly]

In the majority of other cultures in the world, families share a bed together. It's our American culture that has made it so controversial. I read up on this when dd was tiny because she needed to be with us at night and my other children had all slept alone. The more I read, the more I was convinced that co-sleeping is normal and natural, despite what so many others claim here in our country. One writer even stated that because we push our little ones away and insist that they deal with fears and insecurities alone in their own beds, we shouldn't wonder why they don't want to come to us when they need us later as teenagers. I've always remembered that. It's not just a matter of leaving the door open, but being available 24/7 to your dc. Just some thoughts to consider...

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

 

Yep!:001_smile:

[duckens]

From the start, dd4 wouldn't sleep more than 10 minutes if not in our bed. We tried letting her cry it out, but just couldn't. Once she came to our bed, she slept through the night all night every night until she started teething at 4 months. We transitioned her to a single bed in the same room before dd(infant) was born late last year. Often she falls asleep in the big bed, and we move her to the single bed when we as adults go to bed.

 

Dd(infant) now sleeps with us.

 

We love to be cozy with our girls. They will not always be this young.

[TammyinTN]

When our girls were little(birth-2) they slept with us. Our son slept with us until he was 4. It just seemed like the right thing to me...to have them close to us.

[smilesonly]

I just wanted to add that I also think having our babes in our bed from day one increased the bonding between them and dh.

 

I just read many of the other replies, and I do agree that it can result in sleep-deprivation, but I was bfing anyway, and found it MUCH easier to just roll over and stick my b**b in their mouths, change a diaper, etc..All without getting out of bed. I feel it also resulted in happier dc during the day hours-which helped to balance the difficulty of 24/7 mothering.:)

[dirty ethel rackham]

We have co-slept for much of our young child parenting. With my oldest, he slept fairly well in the crib, but dh would get him and bring to me to nurse. Ds and I would fall asleep, but dh couldn't sleep with him in the bed, so he would put him back in the crib. For the last morning nursing, dh would leave us like that. With our 2nd son, he almost never slept in the crib - he would cry until he vomited. The crib became a storage container while ds slept in our bed. That was the only way we got any sleep. He slept with us until we moved him into his brother's room at 18 months. With dd, we didn't even bother setting up the crib. We moved her into her own room when she was 2 1/2. During the transition of moving them out of our bed, I usually had to lay down with them for a little while to help them go to sleep. Also, dd would often crawl in with us until she was about 5. I wouldn't notice until my back started to hurt.

 

It didn't really hurt any of the "marital activities." We would just move to another room or be really, really quiet.

[NCJessieRN]

My mom was a single mom and I slept with her until I was almost 14. For me, it was an unhealthy dependency. (I'm sure that is not the case for most people who do though.) I couldn't even sleep at my Grandma's without talking to my mom or sometimes crying for her to come get me. When I stopped, it was b/c I forced myself to and it was so hard for me to learn to sleep by myself.

 

We only have a queen size bed and I can't sleep with the kids kicking me pushing me out of my bed.;) So, we do not co-sleep.

[MeaganS]

I don't feel strongly either way, although I lean towards not co-sleeping. My husband is adamantly against it, so that sealed the deal. I think if I were single, I would probably be just fine with it, though.

[LaxMom]

In the majority of other cultures in the world, families share a bed together. It's our American culture that has made it so controversial.

And that controversy is fairly recent. Like, mid-20th century recent.

 

It's interesting to me how adamant people can be about every hold needing their own room, even. My kids all sleep in the same room, though the 10yo is ready for a space without her brothers in it (they lobbied to share a room with bunk beds). My parents both shared beds with siblings...

 

It's just funny how relatively new ways become the ONLY way.