S/O If you are a person of color--Is "negro" offensive?

[Chris in VA]

Title says it all--just wondering. Thanks for replying.

[Scarlett]

Title says it all--just wondering. Thanks for replying.

 

I'm always interested in these discussions--especially since the day my then 5 year old called a black piano classmate 'brown' and the boys mother came. un. done. Highly offended. When I tried to (sincerely) ask her why the term 'brown' was offensive, she looked at me like I must be the stupiest person on earth and asked me if I had ever heard of slavery. :001_huh:

[Dobela]

I'm always interested in these discussions--especially since the day my then 5 year old called a black piano classmate 'brown' and the boys mother came. un. done. Highly offended. When I tried to (sincerely) ask her why the term 'brown' was offensive, she looked at me like I must be the stupiest person on earth and asked me if I had ever heard of slavery. :001_huh:

My children are African American. When we were in the process of adopting them we talked to every friend and person we met that was not caucasian. We so very much wanted to use the right terminology. What we found was that older generations prefered colored or negro. Younger generations prefered black or African American. N!gger was never acceptable - although now in some circles it is acceptable between friends (which I find really stupid and offensive).

[mombygrace]

I am a person of color and would not necessarily think it offensive, but just the kind of term my grandma would use :). However I don't keep track of politically correct trends.

[SonshineLearner]

My children are African American. When we were in the process of adopting them we talked to every friend and person we met that was not caucasian. We so very much wanted to use the right terminology. What we found was that older generations prefered colored or negro. Younger generations prefered black or African American. N!gger was never acceptable - although now in some circles it is acceptable between friends (which I find really stupid and offensive).

I could swear that the people I've been around say "black". I actually don't understand "African American" unless they are kinda.... directly from Africa. Although... my husband could kinda be called "African American".... as he was born in Africa and then was brought back to America.

And what if a person who is White from Africa is here; are they "African American"? I mean... they are... but.... that would put the "wrong picture" in your mind... kinda like if I said my husband is/was and then you saw him.

I know that people, between themselves, an call names that "outsiders" are not permitted to, but I have been & would be distressed to hear anyone called a n*gger. To me, that is just trying to be unkind and mean. :(

[blondeviolin]

:bigear: I wrote a paper last semester and was docked 10% of my final grade because I used the word "Negro" and it was too offensive.

[Scarlett]

:bigear: I wrote a paper last semester and was docked 10% of my final grade because I used the word "Negro" and it was too offensive.

 

 

You should have said 'brown'. I mean seriously, if we are going to use color to describe us all, do it like my ds did when young. His dad was red, his nana white (seriously white) I am light brown, and his classmate was brown. When told him the boy wanted to be called black, ds said :confused: but, but, but....he is BROWN.

 

Out of the mouths of Babes.

[Hillary in KS]

My sister-in-law is African-American (though she hates when I say that. "Just call me black. I'm black." is what she tells me.:001_smile:) and I asked her about this.

 

She says that Negro isn't offensive, but "It's something my grandmother would say."

[Scarlett]

My sister-in-law is African-American (though she hates when I say that. "Just call me black. I'm black." is what she tells me.:001_smile:) and I asked her about this.

 

She says that Negro isn't offensive, but "It's something my grandmother would say."

 

Ask her about brown. Is brown offensive?

Edited April 29, 2011 by Scarlett

[CatMomof3]

I am bumping this, because I would like to know as well.

[AndyJoy]

I recently chatted with a friend from church who is a naturalized American citizen from Sudan. Right now she's teaching her bilingual 3-year-old colors in English and is having trouble explaining black and brown. My friend has been telling her daughter that she's "black," but the little girl insists she's brown! We had a good laugh over it and decided I should be called "pink" rather than "white."

[littleWMN]

I have a black daughter. I've found the black community here prefers "black" and sometimes "African American".

 

I was very careful to be "PC" in the beginning and only use "AA" but I've found that black is generally the most acceptable and so that's what I go with. Besides, my daughter is not from Africa. :D At least, as far as I know. :)

 

I personally cringe when I hear "colored" or "negro", but there's no real reason behind it.

 

As for "brown", I don't love it. I'm NOT brown, so I'm not sure why my opinion matters though. :tongue_smilie: I've just used the term "black" before and had people kind of hushedly correct me by saying "brown". I guess I just feel like "black" doesn't necessarily describe skintone (in my daughter's case) but is more of a community word. Especially with the rest of us being "white", it seems odd to me to have the "black community" over here and then there's my "brown" daughter. I don't know if that makes any sense or not... but if black isn't offensive to the black community, I don't know why it would be to me. :)

[TX Bluebonnet]

My now eight year old was so confused when Obama ran for president. He asked me over and over, "Why do the keep calling him black? He's brown."

 

I was so mad at the media about that. I felt like my ds lost his innocence as far as judging people by their race.

[Scarlett]

My now eight year old was so confused when Obama ran for president. He asked me over and over, "Why do the keep calling him black? He's brown."

 

I was so mad at the media about that. I felt like my ds lost his innocence as far as judging people by their race.

 

Aha !!!! See!!! My son is not the only one.

 

I was raised in an all white county. By a godly mother who taught us our skin color doesn't define us any more than blonde or brunette define us. So what do I know.

[goldberry]

I wouldn't have thought "brown" would be offensive coming from a child, because obviously it's a description rather than a label. I would think that the mom that got offended over that has some issues.

 

My DD was born in Texas, went to kindergarten and preschool with many blacks and Latinos. When we moved here to Colorado, a rural area and predominately white, she went to school and asked, "Mom, where are all the brown kids?" She missed the variety! But again, she was just describing them, not labeling them.

[Big Buckin' Longhorn]

I consider African American to be a more formal way of saying Black. When at home, or among close friends or family, (if for some reason I need to refer to race, which is RARELY), I say black. When in more polite company, I say African American.

 

To me, Negro is offensive. It conjures up images of slavery and Jim Crow law and I may hold a personal grudge because my parents and grandparents grew up here in the South and they have vivid memories of things I can barely imagine. In my opinion, it is a label that was put upon people instead of an identity they chose for themselves. I feel it's highly inappropriate in this day and age.

 

I don't know how other people feel about it. I am not the National Black/African American Spokesperson nor do I play one on TV. ;) I am just saying how I feel about it.

[ondreeuh]

Even "person of color" is misleading, because it means anything-but-white and could include everyone but northern Europeans, essentially.

 

My black friends have said they prefer "black" to "African American" because they've never been to Africa; however, none of my Asian friends are the least bit offended by being called Asian, even if they've never been there. I'm sure they wouldn't want to be called yellow. My white friends all call themselves white, not Caucasian. I just recently learned that my Pakistani friends prefer to be called South Asian, and not Middle Eastern. Oops. Some Native Americans prefer to be called Natives, some call themselves Indians. It seems to vary so much person-to-person. You're bound to offend someone.

[Scarlett]

Even "person of color" is misleading, because it means anything-but-white and could include everyone but northern Europeans, essentially.

 

My black friends have said they prefer "black" to "African American" because they've never been to Africa; however, none of my Asian friends are the least bit offended by being called Asian, even if they've never been there. I'm sure they wouldn't want to be called yellow. My white friends all call themselves white, not Caucasian. I just recently learned that my Pakistani friends prefer to be called South Asian, and not Middle Eastern. Oops. Some Native Americans prefer to be called Natives, some call themselves Indians. It seems to vary so much person-to-person. You're bound to offend someone.

 

This. And this is what I told my ds when he was 5 calling his class mate brown. I just told him there was a lot of background involved in all that that had nothing to do with ds or me or current day.....and to just do the best he could to be kind and respectful.

[KidsHappen]

I'm always interested in these discussions--especially since the day my then 5 year old called a black piano classmate 'brown' and the boys mother came. un. done. Highly offended. When I tried to (sincerely) ask her why the term 'brown' was offensive, she looked at me like I must be the stupiest person on earth and asked me if I had ever heard of slavery. :001_huh:

 

One of my children also exclaimed loudly that she wanted to play with the little brown girl. As far as I know, no one was offended though.

[Ibbygirl]

I wonder why they don't like "brown" either?? Is it because "brown" is considered Indian maybe?? and therefore taking away from their African heritage perhaps?? I can't think of why it would be offensive, but I'm not black either so take whatever I say with a grain of salt. ;) My husband is mixed black, white and brown and has beautiful caramel brown skin. It would be strange to me to refer to him as only "black" because even though his hair and some of his features tell of his African heritage, to call him just black would deny his white and Indian heritage as well. In his country though they don't really make the racial distinctions since everyone is all mixed. They are just "Dominicans". :)

[Scarlett]

One of my children also exclaimed loudly that she wanted to play with the little brown girl. As far as I know, no one was offended though.

 

I have since asked all my black friends if that was offensive.....all said no. I guess she was just a little on the sensitive side.

Edited April 29, 2011 by Scarlett

[Jean in Newcastle]

As far as I know, the word Negro is more common in non-US countries. After-all, you wouldn't call them African-American anywhere else!

 

I think the "problem" with the word "brown", if you can even call it a problem at all, is that it could apply to someone who is Hispanic, Asian (depending on the country), Middle Eastern (depending on the country again) etc. I think that's why "person of color" was popular for a time a few years back. It didn't really stick, though.

 

The African American black people (how's that for covering all bases!) that I know are all very relaxed. They don't really care what they are called as long as it is not meant with disrespect or prejudice.

[Scarlett]

The African American black people (how's that for covering all bases!) that I know are all very relaxed. They don't really care what they are called as long as it is not meant with disrespect or prejudice.

 

This is my experience too. Except for that one situation in piano class.

[My3Monkeys]

I wouldn't have thought "brown" would be offensive coming from a child, because obviously it's a description rather than a label. I would think that the mom that got offended over that has some issues.

 

My DD was born in Texas, went to kindergarten and preschool with many blacks and Latinos. When we moved here to Colorado, a rural area and predominately white, she went to school and asked, "Mom, where are all the brown kids?" She missed the variety! But again, she was just describing them, not labeling them.

 

I would hope most people wouldn't find it offensive coming from a child. Ds is 6 and refers to people as "tan" and "clear" I don't quite understand where he came up with the "clear" but tan is totally a description for anyone with non-pale skin.

[Joker]

This is my experience too. Except for that one situation in piano class.

 

 

I don't think most care either. My dh has two siblings who are black and prefer to be called black. You don't know what her day was like before you were a part of it though. Yesterday I saw a white woman at our local Whole Foods go off on a young, black woman who was a security guard. The filth coming out of her mouth had my jaw on the floor. I have been seriously naive thinking this kind of stuff didn't happen around me in today's world but it does. I wanted to give the guard a hug and I've thought about her since and wondered how she recovered from such nastiness. Maybe that mom just had a really bad day and couldn't take anymore and vented on you. It doesn't make it ok but there could be other reasons for her behavior.

[littleWMN]

I have since asked all my black friends if that was offensive.....all said no. I guess she was just a little on the sensitive side.

 

You never know the hurts of someone's heart. I think it's safe to assume she has some hurt there and that she lashed out inappropriately at you and your son. :grouphug:

 

When dealing with racial issues, I've found it's best to remember that the days of slavery and civil rights issues aren't that far in our past. Even if not directly affected... "what hurts the father hurts the son". I totally made that quote up :lol:, but it sounded appropriate.

 

As a mixed race family, the most difficult racial situation I've ever been in was when a man (black) accused us of kidnapping our (black) daughter. He was insane and followed us around the zoo on a lazy Sunday morning harrassing my husband, myself, and my dad. He tried to take a picture of my daughter, pointed us out to other families, claimed to be a former police officer, and threatened to call the police. I found a security guard and called the cops myself. It was frightening and totally shook me up (and my young kids). It took me a few days to really feel safe. The guy was HUGE and intimidating. After I came to my senses though, I realized he was likely in his mid-fifties and old enough to have some deep racial hurt in his heart. I pity him now. At the time my dad and my husband just about had to peel me off of him b/c "mama bear" came out. They later told me they didn't want to have to fight him! :tongue_smilie: Anyway, just a little perspective sometimes goes a long way in reacting gracefully to a racially charged situation.

[specialmama]

My SIL calls herself "brown". Her father is called "black as Toby's a$$" for some reason. I don't get it, but whatever. Maybe it's an old movie reference and I'm too young to get it. Anyhoo, my SIL and I had this conversation a few years ago and I distinctly remember her saying these poignant words "red, brown, yellow, black or white, we are precious in His sight." :D

 

As for people getting defensive when there is no intent to insult, I do think many folks carry scars... even the scars of their forefathers. I remember being about 14 at a bowling alley and standing in line behind a boy of about age 17. I waited and waited and waited some more, and finally I tapped him on the shoulder to see if I could call my parents. He slammed the phone down and started yelling at me and getting in my face, saying "what, it's cuz I'm black? You're not done with bossing us, are you? My grandparents were slaves and it's all your fault!"

I was like... :001_huh:

So yes, I think everyone has bad days and some really struggle with what their forefathers went through.

[Scarlett]

You never know the hurts of someone's heart. I think it's safe to assume she has some hurt there and that she lashed out inappropriately at you and your son. :grouphug:

 

When dealing with racial issues, I've found it's best to remember that the days of slavery and civil rights issues aren't that far in our past. Even if not directly affected... "what hurts the father hurts the son". I totally made that quote up :lol:, but it sounded appropriate.

 

As a mixed race family, the most difficult racial situation I've ever been in was when a man (black) accused us of kidnapping our (black) daughter. He was insane and followed us around the zoo on a lazy Sunday morning harrassing my husband, myself, and my dad. He tried to take a picture of my daughter, pointed us out to other families, claimed to be a former police officer, and threatened to call the police. I found a security guard and called the cops myself. It was frightening and totally shook me up (and my young kids). It took me a few days to really feel safe. The guy was HUGE and intimidating. After I came to my senses though, I realized he was likely in his mid-fifties and old enough to have some deep racial hurt in his heart. I pity him now. At the time my dad and my husband just about had to peel me off of him b/c "mama bear" came out. They later told me they didn't want to have to fight him! :tongue_smilie: Anyway, just a little perspective sometimes goes a long way in reacting gracefully to a racially charged situation.

 

I know being raised in an all white county in the south and very sheltered I really have no clue what other races have endured. I KNOW that....but still shakes me up to have someone go off on my young son who is sooooooo innocent.

 

Oh, the other day ds was doing a lit assignment and had NO clue what the word 'Nigg*r' was! I explained it is the "N" word....and he was all 'oooooooooh....' Yeah, he is sheltered.

[littleWMN]

I know being raised in an all white county in the south and very sheltered I really have no clue what other races have endured. I KNOW that....but still shakes me up to have someone go off on my young son who is sooooooo innocent.

 

Oh, the other day ds was doing a lit assignment and had NO clue what the word 'Nigg*r' was! I explained it is the "N" word....and he was all 'oooooooooh....' Yeah, he is sheltered.

 

I'm not excusing the behavior at all. :) If you read my example, I wasnt thrilled about someone following us around pointing a finger in our face and making it feel scary or bad somehow that we are a multiracial family to my then 2 year old daughter. I reacted, he reacted further. I'm just saying it took me a few days to realize that he wasn't really reacting to "us", but something deeper. The (black) cop kicked him out of the zoo. His behavior was inexcusable. But having seen now, firsthand (though not personally) some of the hurt that can go on being black in a white society - I can understand further. We actually had relatives disown us for adopting our daughter.

[Negin]

I could swear that the people I've been around say "black". I actually don't understand "African American" unless they are kinda.... directly from Africa. (

I don't particularly care for the term "African American".

Here, blacks just say "black" and they call whites "white".

Simple ... the semantics start to really get to me.

I personally don't like the word "negro" and never, ever use it.

I also strongly dislike "colored".

Edited April 29, 2011 by Negin in Grenada

[forevergrace]

Without reading any replies, I'm gonna just shot from the hip. What do we call a white person? I think as time goes on, at least for me, I point out to my children the colour of a person isn't what makes the person. Under God's eye we are all the same. All beautifully connected, all filled w/love.

 

Oh, I sound so frightful!! I believe the titles, labels, confuse many. Even when said in the most innocent way, your are bound to get someone who has a hurt ego and most definitly will take it the wrong way. We have to get through the labels, the definitions that are associated w/them, and realize we are all learning, just in different words and time.

[Jean in Newcastle]

People can get offended at the strangest things. We've had people offended at what my dh calls himself (he's Filipino)!

 

Re. descriptions. If you ever have to give a detailed police description, the usual labels of Hispanic, Asian, Black and White etc. don't cut it. There is such a range of color from the ivory color of some very pale caucasians to the almost blue-black of a person from Uganda. I was amazed at how specific the questions were on description.

[lailasmum]

My dd also describes black people as dark brown. We are white but her dads family has some element of middle eastern/north african genetic influence in it many generations back, that has led to our kids being olive skinned and tanning really easily. Dd describes her self as light brown or beige and her dad too even though he is darker than her. Her friend who is of Italian decent and who has a permanent dark tan and the darkest brown eyes I have ever seen, is described as medium brown. She sees lots of shades but doesn't associate it with ethnicity yet. It absolutely associates with the colour of pencil she has to pick up when she draws a picture of them.

 

The lady had no reason to be offended by your son. If any thing it's such a simple innocent description, with out all the associations of other terminology, that its a good way to describe people.

[lewelma]

Here in NZ, I had an Indian friend refer to himself as "black." So the word definitely does not always indicate African.

 

The Rugby team here is the "All Blacks." Which means that they wear black jerseys. :001_smile:

 

Ruth in NZ

[Laura Corin]

As far as I know, the word Negro is more common in non-US countries. After-all, you wouldn't call them African-American anywhere else!

 

 

I don't hear 'negro' being used. Black, Afro-Caribbean or Black British are the usual terms.

 

Laura

[Onceuponatime]

You should have said 'brown'. I mean seriously, if we are going to use color to describe us all, do it like my ds did when young. His dad was red, his nana white (seriously white) I am light brown, and his classmate was brown. When told him the boy wanted to be called black, ds said :confused: but, but, but....he is BROWN.

 

Out of the mouths of Babes.

 

We had an issue like this when my daughter was little. Her playmate told her that she (playmate) was black. My artistic 6yo daughter was appalled, "no you're not, you are a nice toasty brown." Black did not mean race to her, it meant visual color.

 

The other girl was highly offended, her mother told her she was black and that was that. My daughter was highly confused, why call yourself black when you are brown. It took a while for me to get them to call a truce.

[Impish]

. Some Native Americans prefer to be called Natives, some call themselves Indians. It seems to vary so much person-to-person. You're bound to offend someone.

Here, the term is First Nations. Call someone "Indian" and its equal to n*gger. Seriously. Used to insult someone of the same heritage, will get a head taken off if used by an outsider. ime, anyways.

[twoforjoy]

My personal rule of thumb is to always refer to people the way they prefer to be referred to, both on an individual and group level. I just don't see any reason to be resistant or hesitant about doing so. Most, but not all, blacks that I know would find it offensive if a white person, particularly a white person who wasn't old, used the term "negro." The word is associated with 1950s racial mindsets, so to me that's totally understandable. I wouldn't personally see any reason to use the term to describe somebody, since there are other, more appropriate, less offensive ways to do so.

 

The preferred terms are "black" and "African-American." I use them. I generally use "black," but if relevant (particularly if talking specifically about the descendants of slaves) I'd use AA instead.

 

The reason it's "black" and not "brown" (and "white" and not "peach" or "cream" or "tan") is that we're talking about racial identities, not skin colors. The two are not synonymous. Black and White are racial identities/classifications that aren't necessarily strictly tied to skin color. I'm of Italian descent, and I'm relatively dark-skinned for a white person. My son shares my coloring. When he was in preschool, most of his classmates were black. Some of them, who had mixed race ancestries, had the same skin tone he did. But their racial identity was still either "black" or "mixed race," and his was still "white." That's how our society would define them, despite their skin color being pretty much identical. (And, somehow my son, even though he was only 2 & 3 at the time, picked up on this. He'd tell me that he and the other white student in his school had "the same skin," even though there were black students with skin tones similar to his and the other white student was quite a bit lighter-skinned than he is. He recognized, on some level, racial identity, even though he wasn't able to articulate it.)

 

Personally, I don't think it in any way ruins a child's innocence for them to learn about racial identities, any more than it ruins their innocence to learn that people are different genders or different religions. I do think there are age-appropriate ways to do so--I wouldn't personally be comfortable discussing slavery with a four-year-old, but it's something my son learned about this year, when he was six--but I personally tend to think that our reluctance to discuss race with our children reflects more on our discomfort talking about it than with anything inappropriate or problematic about the topic itself.

Edited April 29, 2011 by twoforjoy

[Carrie12345]

I don't know how anyone could take a child's description as offensive. We lived in a community with a high Indian population when ds was little, and he always described them as brown, so "black" made some sense to him - most of the black people around us were darker! (Except for my 1/2 Irish, 1/2 African neighbor, who looked 100% Irish and loved to whip out pictures of her dad :D)

 

All of my kids describe our skin color as peach, pink, and sometimes brown or brown-red. Dh and dd#1's Native American and Syrian roots come out in the summer sun. ;)

 

I'm no authority on the term "negro", but it does feel to me like a throw back to a crueler time.

[twoforjoy]

I believe the titles, labels, confuse many. Even when said in the most innocent way, your are bound to get someone who has a hurt ego and most definitly will take it the wrong way.

 

Not necessarily. If you stick to the preferred terms--"black," "white," "Asian," "Latino," "Middle Eastern," in U.S. culture--you really are not going to offend people (assuming that the content of what you are saying isn't offensive!).

 

I live in a city that is predominantly black, and probably 1/2 of my students are black and 1/4 are Middle Eastern. I've never had a single friend, acquaintance, or student be offended by (or hesitate to use) either "black" or "Middle Eastern." If you went around using "Negro" or "Brown" or "Arab," though, you probably would offend some people, because those aren't the terms currently used and preferred.

 

Plus, IME, people are WAY more forgiving than we think about innocent, well-intentioned mistakes. It's one thing for somebody who honestly don't know that a term is offensive to use it. In most cases, people will be very understanding. When we first moved to Detroit, my son went around describing people as "brown" for a very long time. Nobody was ever offended. It's another, though, to obstinately decide that we want to refer to people the way WE want to refer to them, regardless of their preference and even though we know many people find that term offensive. In those cases, I can understand why people would feel slighted or offended.

 

I'll use a personal example: I have a hyphenated last name, and go by "Ms. E-S." It doesn't offend or upset me if somebody calls me "Mrs. S." Many people use that format for their name, and I don't expect people to know right away how to refer to me. However, if it's somebody who should know better--somebody who I've sent numerous pieces of mail to, for example, with my name written out, or somebody I've discussed it with--and they keep calling me "Mrs. S," then, yes, it does begin to bother me. Not because there's anything inherently offensive about the words, but because it seems like a sign of disrespect to me. They know how I want to be referred to, and they are refusing to do so. Just like I imagine that if I went by "Mrs. S," I'd be a bit put off if somebody who knew that was my preferred way of being addressed kept calling me "Ms. E-S."

 

So in most cases, I really don't think people offense is a result of being overly-sensitive, but of being appropriately annoyed by having people disregard their preferences. My son hates nicknames, and he feels disrespected when, knowing that, I persist in using them. I do my best to respect that (although sometimes it's hard, because I've always used nicknames for my kids!), because he has every right to be addressed how he wants to be addressed. So does everybody else. That's just basic respect for others, and I'm really saddened that we've decided to write that kind of basic respect off as "politically correct nonsense," which is the impression I get from so many people.

Edited April 29, 2011 by twoforjoy

[Emmy]

I have a friend that has adopted two black children and she will refer to a child as brown. As in, "have you seen insert name? Little brown boy about 4 years old?". ( I heard her say that once at coop when we had lost a little one from our class on the way to a different room).

 

Honestly, I try to avoid ever needing to use a reference as such, I am so worried I will offend someone.

 

The one that makes me cringe is when I hear extended family members refer to an Asian person as "oriental".

[stripe]

I have a friend that has adopted two black children and she will refer to a child as brown. As in, "have you seen insert name? Little brown boy about 4 years old?". ( I heard her say that once at coop when we had lost a little one from our class on the way to a different room).

I suspect she does that because otherwise people will assume her child looks like her. If she is white (which you didn't say, but I'm assuming from your description!), people would just NOT associate brown children with her. Similarly, if a middle aged black woman came in to a room asking if you saw her husband, would you automatically assume the unaccompanied 25 year old asian man you just saw was her husband? Probably not. That is what this is getting at. But I've had issues of how some adoptive parents overly refer to their kids by ethnic group, myself.

 

I just recently learned that my Pakistani friends prefer to be called South Asian, and not Middle Eastern. Oops.

Is this a surprise, though? Because Pakistan is not in the "Middle East." Pakistan is not an Arab country! Just because people there are Muslims, doesn't make them Arab. It's like Portuguese people not wanting to be called Scandinavians....because they're just not!

 

I've never had a single friend, acquaintance, or student be offended by (or hesitate to use) either "black" or "Middle Eastern." If you went around using "Negro" or "Brown" or "Arab," though, you probably would offend some people, because those aren't the terms currently used and preferred.

I totally disagree (but in a friendly way). I know almost no person with ancestry from an Arab country who call themselves "Middle Eastern." In Arabic, the term is Arab. It is used liberally when discussing the language used and things like, say, bread (khubz 'arabi). The only advantage to a term like "Middle Eastern" might include would be non-Arab people from this region, such as those from Iran. There are plenty of Arab-American organizations groups that use the term Arab or Arab-American, such as the Arab American National Museum or The Arab American News or the Network of Arab-American Professionals.

 

In my experience, "brown" may be a term for sort of interethnic solidarity of people with darker skin colors. At least, I use it occasionally in this context. I don't normally randomly refer to other people as "brown" though, unless I'm having a detailed discussion about something specifically related to their skin.

 

I wonder why they don't like "brown" either?? Is it because "brown" is considered Indian maybe?? and therefore taking away from their African heritage perhaps?? I can't think of why it would be offensive, but I'm not black either so take whatever I say with a grain of salt. ;)

I think it's the idea of someone else referring to a person BY skin color. Not the actual word used (unless it's the doozy n-word or something else that is offensive, like, say "darkies," which is a no-no to me). I don't think anyone is necessarily offended by a very young child's words, it's more "Didn't your mama teach you better?" or "What kind of wacky house are you living in?" It's an objectification of that person. It's a reduction of that person TO that single characteristic. A characteristic through which many people are disparaged and discriminated against.

 

No one is asking you to "not notice" someone's color. It's just that mentioning it for no reason suggests that it is normal to be white, and totally ABNORMAL or so exceptional that it deserves special notice, to be anything else. The same way women's groups object to things like "The woman doctor I see is actually not too bad." Is it sometimes relevant to point out someone is a female? Sure. Including "Would you prefer to see a female or male doctor for your colonoscopy?" But to constantly refer to a woman professional as a woman suggests it is an abnormal state of affairs, that it must be pointed out.

 

Let's translate this into homeschool-speak. The same way people on this forum get tired of statements like "That homeschooled girl who came to the library program actually knew how to read, can you imagine?"

Edited April 29, 2011 by stripe

[MaMa2005]

My children are African American. When we were in the process of adopting them we talked to every friend and person we met that was not caucasian. We so very much wanted to use the right terminology. What we found was that older generations prefered colored or negro. Younger generations prefered black or African American. N!gger was never acceptable - although now in some circles it is acceptable between friends (which I find really stupid and offensive).

 

My DH is a high school teacher and this is how the students refer to each other. :confused: They are high 5ing and just living it up. It drives my DH batty as all it is going to take is for one Caucasian to use the word and the class will erupt into a riot. With 35 students in a class, it is hard to tell who is saying what. Some days he is just :willy_nilly: dealing with all the different references.

[Ibbygirl]

Here, the term is First Nations. Call someone "Indian" and its equal to n*gger. Seriously. Used to insult someone of the same heritage, will get a head taken off if used by an outsider. ime, anyways.

 

Wow!! :eek: I had no idea!! :svengo: I will seriously have to try to remember that if I should ever go to Canada. I had no idea that "Indian" was so offensive there. I live very close to a Seminole Indian reservation and have been around them pretty much all my life and they always refer to themselves as Indians, well actually more specifically, the Indians I know always referred to themselves by their specific tribe ie. Creek, Cherokee, Seminole etc. but if describing their ethnicity they would say "Indian". I actually never even heard the term "First Nations" before I heard you say it Imp. I have to ask the Seminoles when I'm around them next if they use the term First Nations. :)

[Plagefille]

My daughter calls anyone with dark skin "chocolate cake skin" and my friend from Puerto Rico thinks it is cute. I am not sure what others would think. That term is now used by everyone when playing the game Guess Who.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Just wanted to add a funny race story. I know someone who frequents subway (the sandwich place), and she likes everything but black olives on her sandwich. Well, after moving and finding out that the local subway had all black workers she started ordering her sandwich with no olives. She likes all olives except black, but didn't want to offend anyone by saying no black olives!

[KnitWit]

I am a white woman in the south with black friends. I will tell you that what is *most* offensive is when white people try to be all *PC* about terminology and *talk* all *PC* about race relations and yet NEVER try to make friends, have a meal, spend time together and ALLOW THEIR KIDS TO PLAY TOGETHER.

 

You can be as correct in your speech as you want to be, but if you keep your distance...well then.

[mommaduck]

My sister-in-law is African-American (though she hates when I say that. "Just call me black. I'm black." is what she tells me.:001_smile:) and I asked her about this.

 

She says that Negro isn't offensive, but "It's something my grandmother would say."

 

Yep, when I moved back to the US, I didn't know what to say (I was a young child) and my best friend told me this (I first used the term Negro, then the term African American...both hesitantly and she laughed and told me, "it's black, honey, just black").

[UmmiSays]

I find it outdated and unnecessary to use the term Negro in everday conversation. I find it ok to use as a historical desription.

 

I use the word Black to describe ANYONE of African descent. When describing a person who is a descendant of Africans that were in ensalved in America, I feel the term African American is appropriate. This is more of a cultural description versus a racial description.

[mommaduck]

I have a friend that has adopted two black children and she will refer to a child as brown. As in, "have you seen insert name? Little brown boy about 4 years old?". ( I heard her say that once at coop when we had lost a little one from our class on the way to a different room).

 

Honestly, I try to avoid ever needing to use a reference as such, I am so worried I will offend someone.

 

The one that makes me cringe is when I hear extended family members refer to an Asian person as "oriental".

 

We're all some shade of melanin (it's all the same colour, just lighter or darker). Guess I should look for a cream coloured, olive coloured, or powder coloured child...depending upon which of mine run off...LOL! And oh my, don't say "oriental" around my SIL (Filipino), she will go off on you! Our in-laws made that mistake a couple of times and it wasn't pretty.