What do you do in the evenings?

[fairfarmhand]

dh and I are disgusted by the evenings that the whole family spends staring at our individual screens. We're missing out on our kids growing up.

 

However we refuse to join the rat race of team sports that will take our family in different directions in the evenings too.

 

So what do you do with your evenings to bond with your kids and relax?

 

My family was in the sports rat race and seldom spent evenings together, so I am drawing a blank.

 

(my kids are 13, 9, 6 and 3)

[LibraryLover]

We always read our kids to sleep when they were small. I still do that with my youngest, although not every night. We also eat dinner together. Dh and & youngest dd play the same musical instrument, and practice together nearly every night. My teen ds plays the piano in the living room, and we like to listen. We snuggle up to watch movies. Bananagrams is also fun.

 

We also do go out together, especially to the library, and each of our kids does have a vested interest in an activity (music, theater, art, ballet), and there are many performaces and shows. We enjoy watching the children grow and challenge themselves, so this is (mostly) a joy, not a chore. We also work together in the yard, take care of the animals, and do all those things that are just a part of life.

 

This is week is school vacation for my schooled child, so we will be going to a couple of museums, and probably the Chinese Buffet place (which the kids love but I hate ;)) for lunch because lunch is much cheaper than dinner. ;)

Edited April 18, 2011 by LibraryLover

[Danestress]

most days. And that is what we do in the evenings. I would rather do that than have the tv on. But I think you have to feed your children's hearts. Mine really love their sports and are encouraged by them, but I wouldn't do it just because other people do or because we are "supposed to."

 

I rather like sitting on the grass watching my son play tennis. I like being outside. I think it's nice for children to watch a sibling practice and to cheer them on.

 

But sometimes it does feel like a lot of running around. Other things we enjoy in the evenings - sitting outside on the back patio listening to "evening sounds" and having a drink or chatting.

 

Taking the dog for a walk in the woods (when it gets dark late).

 

Eating out together, though we need to cut back on that.

 

Cooking dinner, eating it, chatting, cleaning it up. Really, the evenings when we are not doing sports seem to take care of themselves. We just sort of hang out. DH paints and I knit. My boys play music, play with the dog, shoot baskets. Last night one was out and the other went fishing at a lake near our home.

 

Some people like board games but I hate them, so we never do that.

[LibraryLover]

 

I think it's nice for children to watch a sibling practice and to

 

QUOTE]

 

 

There is something very special about siblings supporting each other. My children always attend each others' events. My oldest recently travelled 9 hours in a car to see his brother perform. I loved that they were together like that.

[MamaT]

We usually have a series that we all watch on Netflix only when we are together at night. We are watching Lost all the way through right now. We also play board or card games frequently. Phase 10 is fun for everyone and takes a long time to play, so sometimes we continue it from night to night. Last night we all planted a flower bed.

[Julie in CA]

We play Aggravation on a special heirloom gameboard that dh's uncle handcrafted for us.

 

In the winter we'll work on puzzles sometimes.

 

In the summer we tend to work together outside until dark, gardening, landscaping, maintaining or washing cars, sipping lemonade at our patio table.

 

We have a volleyball net that the kids use together, though dh and I usually sit and watch.

 

We do watch tv, but it's usually more intentional--we'll watch current events type shows and talk about the issues on the commercials, or we'll plan a movie night, which somehow has a different feel than each of us doing our own thing with screens.

 

Once in a while we'll go out and do something like bowling, or watching softball games at the local park and sitting on the grassy sidelines visiting with people we know there (small-town life, eh? :001_smile:).

[Truscifi]

We do karate and are at the dojo most evenings (which I don't consider part of the rat race because we all have friends there and enjoy hanging out as well as our classes) but on the nights we don't go to the dojo we play games or occasionally watch a show or movie together. We all like Scrabble, Monopoly and Yahtzee, and some of the newer lego board games are fun too (Minotaurus is the current fave). We also enjoy listening to music together.

 

I confess, sometimes we are tired and just go to our individual activities, be they screen or book.

[Julie Smith]

After dinner we go outside for 1 to 2 hours. Bike riding, go to a play structure, ... If we hadn't done it earlier in the day, we stop at the indoor running track near our house. My youngest then runs about 1/2K takes a break and runs another 1/2 K. My eldest runs 1K then takes a break and runs another 1K.

 

We have a race next month on the 14th. My eldest will be running 1K, my youngest 200m. When the weather is nicer will we do more of our running outside. But in the past week we have had hail, rain, snow, and high winds.

[Abbeygirlsouth]

Well, we don't participate in team sports, but dd does have ballet class daily until about 6:30 and ds runs about 75 minutes every evening, so that is a big part of our "evening time." However, we do not have t.v. reception, so we do spend a lot of time reading together as a family....it can be anything from devotionals to literature. Dk are musicians so they often take this time to record music, and maybe once a week we'll rent a movie. Although ds and I drive the rest of the family nuts because we always pick a part movies, so I guess that's not exactly relaxing for some of us.;)

[Donna]

We always eat dinner together then I take either ds to wrestling practice or dd to orchestra rehearsal. We try to have one evening together at home but that doesn't always work during the week. I don't view it all as a rat race. My kids love what they do and we provide them the means to do it.

[gingersmom]

By the time we are done with school and afternoon activities (sports, art class) its time for a late dinner. By then I am ready to pull out the knitting/book and have some quiet time before bed. By bedtime I will have just spent at least 12 hours with my beloved children. Thats a lot of quality time together. :001_smile:

 

I'm quite happy for them to get an hour of screen time and for me to get an hour of somebody not needing my attention.

 

There are a ton of stuff you can do in the evenings together-read a book aloud, bake a dessert together,plan a meal to make on the weekends (very popular in my house, me and my kids love to cook and I try to save the more time consuming recipes for the weekend), my daughter and I knit/scrapbook together.

[Julie in AZ]

We just started doing some crafts with a read aloud some evenings.

[Lovedtodeath]

We make dinner and clean up afterwards, play tag, ride bikes, sit around the fire, watch old movies like Teen Wolf, play board games and card games (this mostly), play games on the Wii.

[Jenny in Florida]

But I think you have to feed your children's hearts. Mine really love their sports and are encouraged by them, but I wouldn't do it just because other people do or because we are "supposed to."

 

I agree.

 

The truth is that we do a lot of running around in the evenings.

 

My kids are both theatre geeks, and they stay pretty busy with classes and rehearsals and performances. This week and next, for example, my son has rehearsals all but four evenings for the opera that opens a week from Friday. After that, he has about a week "off" (meaning he just has three dance classes, choir rehearsal and a voice lesson) before he goes into tech week for another show.

 

He loves this stuff, though. We don't do it because it's a "rat race," but because it keeps our kids active and happy and involved. Yes, it's tiring for me, but it's also extremely rewarding.

 

Honestly, the nights we are home, we often watch a movie together and relax.

[fairfarmhand]

sorry for the choice of words re: "rat race".

 

Dh and I know lots of people who run ragged all year long to this or that sport, and then complain that their kids are strangers and they don't have enough time together.

 

That is what I was referring to.

 

My dh is an introvert who works long hours. It would be torturous to him for all of us to run around in the evenings to practices and games.

 

Thanks for all the suggestions....

[Lovedtodeath]

How old are your kids? Would you like suggestions that are more specific? Like specific games to try?

[aggieamy]

Mine are similar to most of the ones listed above.

 

We play lots of board and card games. DH and I do this almost every evening when the Sophia goes to bed but we also try to play a game with her too. I recommend Carcassone highly for a new type of board game that you're whole family will love.

 

Lately it's been so nice out so we'll pack up the bikes and go for a ride on a local trail or go for a hike.

 

We'll sit together and all work a puzzle.

 

I'll read aloud while DD and DH listen. DD does craft activities while I do this like cutting out paper dolls or drawing. I'm thinking about getting her a latch hook kit or needlepoint for her birthday as another activity she can do in the evenings while I read.

 

Rarely we'll watch a show together but it's never just turn on the TV. DH and I are working our way through Doctor Who right now and about once a week we'll watch an episode of that when DD goes to bed. Sometimes on the weekends we'll watch a movie together as a family and do a family movie night.

[Lady Florida.]

We talk, we take walks or bike rides together. Sometimes we go out for ice cream.

 

When ds was younger, dh was always the one who read to him at night. Since he was at work all day, that was his way of spending time with him. I usually sat nearby and half listened while reading a book of my own.

 

Ds and I like board games, dh isn't a big fan. It's hard to find board games for 2 or 3 players (so many fun ones require at least 4), but we have a few and I can occasionally talk dh into playing with us.

 

We have a pool table, and it has a hard cover that's marked as a ping pong table. Sometimes we play a 3-way game of pool (cut throat), and sometimes 2 play, then the 3rd person plays the winner. Dh and ds play ping pong, I don't.

 

We have some shows we watch as a family. Some of them are current seasons, some are on dvd or instant play from Netflix. Periodically I plan a homemade pizza and movie night. I make pizza and we watch a Netflix movie.

 

Dh is pretty tired in the evenings, so we don't plan activities beyond what I mentioned above. We do try to do some kind of family activity one day each weekend. And we eat dinner together almost every night.

[sparrow]

We typically have a family read aloud going.

 

We play games like Cranium's Family Fun Game, Pit, Clue, or Apples to Apples.

 

We watch Doctor Who on Netflix.

 

We also have scouts and soccer some nights, but that's typically one parent taking the kid and one parent staying home with the other, so it's not a family night.

[WTMindy]

We do a little combo of things mentioned. Pretty much all activities are on T/TH for us, which leaves the other nights free. Dh has always been extremely purposeful in how he spends his evenings with the kids. He always has a biography going (usually a missionary one) that he reads to the kids. He does Spanish with them in the evenings. We do a few chores together usually. We play family games. We hang out talking. Dh feels like he doesn't want to squander the main time that he has with them.

[AvasMom]

We do have sports a few times a week but we love playing racquetball together as a family. We also go on bike rides from time to time. When we're hanging out at home dh likes to play chef/baker with them and cook up stuff to make mommy fatter (lol!) and we have Wii marathons as well.

[arghmatey]

If dinner is not on the table when SO arrives home, he plays with / reads to the children and the dogs while I finish dinner. After dinner, he does the same while I clean.

 

We each put one child to bed, which includes story time, songs, and prayers. On Friday nights we also watch a movie with our older child.

 

Several nights a week, we go for a walk around the neighborhood or to the park before bed time. We dance a lot--almost every night.

[Guest mrsajoy]

We aren't involved in any sport activities. The kids help me prepare dinner. We talk during eating. And we clean up supper as a family. The kids will horse play with the kids for a bit. Then it's bath time, then we read to them, then they have reading time in their beds. Not sure if that's what you are looking for, because my kids are still little: 3, 4, and 5 yo:) I still don't want to join the rat race when they get older. Good luck with finding a good balance!!

[joannqn]

Our schedule depends on the night. On Mondays, I leave right after dinner but the rest of the family continues with the normal schedule. On Wednesdays and Fridays, our normal schedule starts later because DS9 is in taekwondo.

 

We eat dinner together every night with the exception of about 20 days a year where I'm not there. At the beginning of dinner, I read from a devotional. At the end of dinner, I read aloud from whichever book we are currently reading. After dinner, one older helps dad with the dishes. The other older helps with picking up, putting laundry away, and/or bathing the littles. Once that is all done, it is nearly bedtime. The older two get 20-30 minutes to read in bed before lights out. If there's more time, we'll sometimes watch something on Netflix together. Board games are hard to do because of the littles. As the days length, we're likely to spend time outside.

[Karen in CO]

We eat dinner together at 6, linger over the table talking and clean up the kitchen. If the kids were engaged in play before dinner, they go back to it, and hubby and I chat. A couple of nights a week, we play board games or cards. In the warmer months, we take an hour or longer walk after dinner. The kids take baths and get stories read to them. The older dd helps me with laundry while the younger takes her bath.

 

On Friday nights we all go out to dinner and a bookstore with a nice walk downtown if the weather is nice.

 

It all goes by pretty fast since bedtime is between 8 and 9.

[*********]

I know what you mean. Two things that we do that are good for family time are bible study and board/card games. We like to havecaht bible study together in the evenings; I don't know your religious background, so this may not apply to you. Also, playing a board game or card game with the kids is a good way to spend family time. If the weather is nice, a walk around the neighborhood is also a possibility. Or we'll watch a PBS show together, about cooking or traveling, which we chat and comment through.

 

It's just important that whatever you do, you really engage in it with your kids. I mean, we all know the feeling of 'yeah yeah, nice lego car son' while you're really surfing the net on your smartphone. At least, that's how it is is our family. We try to be aware of how much time we spend on electronics, and we try to turn them off and really engage with each other.

[Crissy]

Sports don't feel like a "rat race" to me most days. And that is what we do in the evenings.

 

I agree, though we are all involved with a single sport, and only one season out of the year.

Our younger son plays baseball. My husband coaches, the older son umpires the games and I usually keep the score book and record the pitch count (both required in Little League). It's a family affair, so nothing like a rat race.

 

Outside of baseball season, when the weather is cool or rainy we do play board and card games. During our short summer season we go for bike rides along the river (there is a beautiful bike path that runs for miles and miles). We also set up a badminton court in the back yard that remains until fall. We play a 'tournament' most warm nights.

[MSNative]

In the winter, we love to make a fire in the fireplace. When the weather warms, we take the fire to the firepit outside. For some reason, having the fire going seems to get my family chatting. Without it, we tend to grab our books and read all evening. We also play board games, basketball, take walks, jump on the trampoline, etc.

[AuntPol]

Scouts -one night a week (Both kids, Both parents are leaders)

Dance -Twice a week (DD only)

Brazilian Jui Jitsu-Twice a week (or more before a tournament)- DH and DS do this together

CHurch Bible Study-Once a week (DD and I-separate room but we eat dinner there together)

Swordfighting -whole family once a week

 

Marine Corps League-whole family once a month

 

Then baseball, football, (both DH and DS) and church softball (DH and I) and swim team (DD) in season.

 

We love sports -usually the non sporting kid hangs out with other siblings, plays in park, does school work, etc.

 

When the weather is nice and all are home, they are outside playing until I make them come in. We try to watch a movie once a week as a family. We play board games and work puzzles quite often.

 

We're with each other all day long so no big deal to be running in the evening.

[Daisy]

4pm and on.

 

Play outside. Work in the yard. Ride bikes.

Cook dinner.

Eat as a family.

Have family worship.

Awana memory work.

Go for a walk. Read aloud. Play games.

Baths.

Read books in bed.

Lights out 8pm.

 

I can't imagine how we'd possibly have time for anything else. LOL.

 

Oh, and Wednesday nights we have Awana club.

[LAS in LA]

OP's comment about everyone looking at their individual screens reminded me: we knew a homeschool family of computer programmers who would head off to their respective machines for a while, then meet up together and watch what everyone had created. !!! This is not our family's style AT ALL, but it was a great time for their family. Beautiful.

[Jen in PA]

Well, we don't always do things as an entire family, but we also don't sit in front of individual screens. The dc usually have baths while I clean up dinner. After that, they tend to do something with dh -- ds likes to play video games with him, dd likes to play chess or just snuggle with him and read. The dc often play a board game or play with Playmobil while dh and I read or watch a news program. We usually watch Nova as a family one night a week, and Saturday nights are reserved for Doctor Who and homemade pizza. Between Memorial Day and Labor Day we spend one night a week at the drive-in. The rest of the time the dc build or draw quietly while we play an audiobook, then dd usually heads off with a book of her own while ds and I read to each other.

[Nature]

We eat dinner together almost every night. If the weather is nice and it’s light out, we’re outside (playing, hiking, gardening). In the winter and on rainy nights, we hang out and talk, read, play board games, watch a movie, play with Legos or some other toy, etc.

[ScoutTN]

We don't have big kids, but our activities are:

DH plays guitar and we sing

play outside

bath/jammies/teeth

gardening/yardwork - summer

board games

reading books - picture books usually

building big forts or block cities or lego with Daddy

cooking for the next day or for someone else

 

 

We don't have that much evening since my kids are little and go to bed at 7:30! Later in the spring, summer and early fall. Just getting them bathed and ready for bed takes a good part of our evening!

[Ellie]

Well, I guess I'm not as bothered about it since we spent the whole day face to face. And then there's dinner together, and chatting while getting ready for bed, and weekends spend together doing stuff, and Sunday going to and from church and sometimes activities together after church.

[Hedgehog]

Weekday evenings - When DH comes home at 7pm, that is his time with the kids. After doing a Bible reading, he'll muck about with them, play games, or read a chapter from their current read-aloud. I use that time to catch up on email, blogs, and spend a little time on here :D

 

Monday: at home. Monday is our individual evening out so either DH goes to football or I meet up with a friend.

 

Tuesday: Hoglet 1 has ballet and doesn't get home until 7:30.. so they do the Bible reading and go to bed.

 

Wednesday: DH does ice hockey with Hoglet 3 and I've been taking the rest swimming, although that will change when it comes to May and the older two go sailing all evening 6-9pm.

 

Thursday: at home. Or we might go to Bible study at church if we're feeling up to it.

 

Friday: Hoglet 1 has ballet until 6pm, so the evening is short.. usually just a Bible reading before they go to bed. Friday is our evening together; mostly we have a cheese and wine evening and chat, or on the odd occasion we might get a babysitter and go out for a meal/movie/whatever.

 

Weekend evenings -

 

Both nights we are almost always at home, doing bits and bats - on the computer sometimes, watching a Disney, playing games, or if the weather if good we're often still out until it's dark.

[Peela]

Dh works evenings. The kids and I watch an episode or 2 of whatever series we are into (currently House). We eat together at least 3-4 times a week. Then, we all go to our screens.

 

I think because we homeschooled and spent so much time together, we dont really have a problem with it, but i have teens so we are at a a different life stage to your family. I feel we are all still close- they will come and sit and talk with me in my room before bed or anytime they want to. If the communication wasnt good, I would change things, but its great.

 

I know I needed alone time in the evenings, though. We used to have all the comptuers and the TV in the living room, which was also the homeschool room- so at least we were all on our own screens in the same room. It did help. Now I have mine in my own office so the kids can have friends over and have the living area to themselves- they play loud music in there too.

 

Dh is home Monday nights- we used to do something then- play Scrabble, go out to a coffee shop and drink hot chocolate. Something. We still do sometimes.

[fairfarmhand]

Well, I guess I'm not as bothered about it since we spent the whole day face to face. And then there's dinner together, and chatting while getting ready for bed, and weekends spend together doing stuff, and Sunday going to and from church and sometimes activities together after church.

 

 

the issue is my dh IS bothered by it. He only is home at the earliest by six and the kiddos are in bed by 8:30. He worries that he misses out on stuff.

[Ellie]

the issue is my dh IS bothered by it. He only is home at the earliest by six and the kiddos are in bed by 8:30. He worries that he misses out on stuff.

Yes, he's missing out on stuff, 'cuz that's just the way it happens when he's the breadwinner.

 

There's no reason y'all can't put a moratorium on screens between 6 and 8:30 on weeknights. Or pick a specific night when y'all can plan to be home and together, doing different things than you would on weekends when you're all together most of the day. Or he could take turns going out with one child at a time for one-on-one time.

[Desert Rat]

Hmm, well, we do sports but we make them family activities. For example, both boys are in taekwondo and we all go. They are in different classes. My oldest helps teach for an hour while the youngest is in class. Then when oldest takes his class, the youngest, dh and I play card games, etc.

Ds8 is also in soccer. During practice my oldest plays with his friends who have younger sibs on the team or we hang out.

When we aren't doing sports we play games, play wii, or watch the tv-shows like Auction Kings, Mythbusters, etc. where we talk about what's going on not just zone out.

HTH

[Brooketopia]

I'm so jealous of all the stuff people are able to do with their families in the evenings! My children are still quite young (1, 3, 4, 7), so our evenings consist of making dinner, eating it, cleaning it up, cleaning the kids up and then about half an hour of family scripture study and reading out loud to them before sending them off to bed. I'm looking forward to the days of evening activities. :)

[HS Mom in NC]

walking

bike riding

read aloud outstanding literature while kids listen and do very quiet activities (crafts, construction toys, dolls,etc.)

cook/bake together

swim at in-laws (7 minutes away)

hang out in back yard

kite flying at the neighborhood park

older kids have Science and Math with Dad

[m0mmaBuck]

Generally we have some sort of scouting activity. For example, tonight DH and I attended a District Committee meeting while DSS watched DS and DD. Tomorrow night DSS has a Boy Scout meeting and DH and I will take the younger two with us to a Pantry Party. Normally DH, DSS and DS would go play Dungeons and Dragons but for some reason it's cancelled this week. Wednesdays DS has AWANAS and DH and I have a Cub Scout committee meeting so DSS will stay home with DD. Thursday DD and DS will go with DSS, DH and me to our Venture Crew meeting. Friday night is our Cub Scout den meeting and all 5 of us go.

 

When we have a free night, we go to the park across the street, play board games or the Wii, go to the inlaws, go for bike rides... Those nights are rare.

[fairfarmhand]

UPDATE!

 

Yesterday evening was really fun...

 

dh came home and we headed out with our youngest dd to the field where we had a new bull calf. Baby calves have to be tagged (for identification) and banded (castrated), and we have to do it the first day or two or they cannot be caught.

 

So we ended up kneeling in a wild rose thicket (HUGE thorns) while messing with this calf and dealing with an angry mama cow.

 

Then my dh and dd walked the field, while I fixed supper. We all ate and dh and the kids cleaned up while I showered. Dh and the kids had a wrestle which ended up with my dh getting busted in the nose by my ds (3) 's hard head :). After that we all worked on a puzzle and it was pretty much bedtime.

 

We all enjoyed our evening very much!

 

Thanks for all the suggestions!

[Shellydon]

Dinner at 6:45 when DH gets home.

Outside for playtime from 7:30-8

Bath at 8

Bedtime at 8:30