I've never had a negative reaction to homeschooling...

[fairfarmhand]

Am I alone?

 

Total strangers say nothing but positives about it. (or nothing at all)

 

Perhaps I just emit a vibe that says "MYOB" but in 8 years criticisms haven't happened to me.

 

(my dh says I am just clueless and don't pick up on other's negativity, typically)

 

I've kind of hoped that sometime somebody would say something to my dh about homeschooling that is negative. I'd love to see his reaction...

 

Any one else have nothing but good to report?

[milovany]

I don't think I ever have either. The most negative I think I've heard is "I could never do that."

[lionfamily1999]

Dh and I both have had negative/snide comments.

 

:shrug:

 

Maybe we just look like we would care what they think :lol:

[Lara in Colo]

Maybe people see the steel in my eyes, but I've never had a negative comment. I usually get "You're so brave"

 

uhhh...OK. because homeschooling = facing an invading horde of infidels.

 

Lara

[fairfarmhand]

I don't think I ever have either. The most negative I think I've heard is "I could never do that."

 

Maybe people see the steel in my eyes, but I've never had a negative comment. I usually get "You're so brave"

 

uhhh...OK. because homeschooling = facing an invading horde of infidels.

 

Lara

 

 

yes. I do get those comments to. They make me smile. I usually answer that it is much easier than getting 4 kids up, dressed, lunches packed, homework done and ready for the school bus by 7.

[myfatherslily]

In the 18 years that I was a homeschooled student and 3-ish (I'm counting preschool here;)) that I've been a homeschooling mom, I haven't encountered negative attitudes. Either that, or I am oblivious!:D

[myfunnybunch]

Nope, never. I did have a prospective pediatrician say in a concerned voice to my 8 y.o. "Do you ever get to be around other children?" (to which he replied "Of course!" with a puzzled look) but that's about it.

 

Cat

[Mrs Mungo]

It's funny. I never had anyone confront me about breastfeeding, but I *have* about homeschooling. Maybe I *look* friendlier than I used to? Unfortunately for them, I'm not *actually* friendlier.

 

Example: 50+ year old woman who works at the gas station was quizzing me in a confrontational manner about whether I was qualified to homeschool. I said, "because your public school education worked out so well for you?"

[lionfamily1999]

It's funny. I never had anyone confront me about breastfeeding, but I *have* about homeschooling. Maybe I *look* friendlier than I used to? Unfortunately for them, I'm not *actually* friendlier.

 

Example: 50+ year old woman who works at the gas station was quizzing me in a confrontational manner about whether I was qualified to homeschool. I said, "because your public school education worked out so well for you?"

:lol:

[nono]

Very little.

 

The supermarket check-out lady and I had a good debate once, which she started with, "I don't know anything about it, but I don't like it." But that was spirited and fun in a Point/Counterpoint fashion, and she continues to be very congenial anytime I see her.

 

Oh, I had one of the swim mothers ask me, not at all condescendingly, "Why do you think you can do that?" to which I laughed and answered, "Because the law says I can." It turns out what she meant to ask was "Why do you think you should do that?" as she had only previously known folks to homeschool for special needs children, and she was trying to figure out what my dd's need was.

 

As a Mom with kids in extra-curriculars that are not mostly homeschool specific, I encounter many teachers. They are very gracious and treat me as if I'm a colleague. I think that helps set the tone with the other parents.

Edited April 8, 2011 by nono
eta: so much fun having "help" with operating the mouse.

[Paintedlady]

For the first few years I never had a negative reaction from people when finding out we homeschool, but in the year I've had a surprising number of snarky comments.

 

In Feb. we decided to take the train from Chicago to Springfield for a field trip/Civics lesson during the week and the conductor was grilling me about why my kids weren't in school. I was trying so hard to remain cordial but I think I failed. :glare: That a few other rude/pointed questions have made me not want to talk about the kids' schooling at all, even when asked directly. I really try hard to avoid the conversation if at all possible.

[NanceXToo]

Never. It's all been positive or at least neutral.

[JudoMom]

Maybe people see the steel in my eyes, but I've never had a negative comment. I usually get "You're so brave"

 

uhhh...OK. because homeschooling = facing an invading horde of infidels.

 

Lara

 

When did you visit my homeschool?

 

I don't get negative comments, either. I get the "I could never do that" and the like, but nothing worse that I can remember.

[ocelotmom]

The only negative reactions I've had are when participating in the discussion of someone else who is considering homeschooling.

[*Inna*]

Never. It's all been positive or at least neutral.

:iagree: Some people would ask, flabbergasted, "Why would you do that?!" to which I answer, "It works for our family". They leave it alone after that. ;)

[mlbuchina]

I have only gotten the "I could never do that" and "you're so brave" comments, but never anyone being confrontational.

 

I did think I was going to have to a few weeks ago at a going away lunch for a man my husband works with. While we were sitting waiting for our food to come, one of the hostesses walked by, did a double take, then asked my dd7 what school she went to. Dd7 said she was homeschooled and the lady said something to the effect of, "Oh, isn't that nice." I spent the rest of the time thinking I was going to have a cop come get me because of the tne of her voice.

[Sharon H in IL]

Nope. Never had anyone give me any guff either.

 

They're lucky. :lol:

[mbosh237]

My husband is a preacher and we actually have not gotten a job before ONLY because we Homeschool (they actually told us this).

[Mommy22alyns]

I've never gotten a bad reaction either. Like I never had anyone try to touch my belly while pregnant, and I never got unsolicited parenting advice when the girls were babies. I think I give off the "don't ask me dumb stuff" vibe too.

 

The "worst" I've gotten is a "I don't see how you have the patience" from a very dear family friend. I know she didn't mean it in a negative way, but I was rendered speechless for a minute. Thankfully, it was Thanksgiving and there were plenty of other conversations going on. ;)

[Medieval Mom]

I wish I could say the same, OP; but I've had nasty letters, snide remarks, and the cold-shoulder. (All from schoolteachers, actually.) My husband gets some comments at work, but he just laughs them off :D For a couple of years, my own mother would clip out every negative article in the local paper about the Horrible Hazards of Homeschooling. Good grief! :lol:

 

ON THE WHOLE, THOUGH, the vast majority of strangers are very polite. Often, when my ds says that he's hsed, people respond, "Good for you!" :)

[Rhonda in TX]

I never did until a couple of months. It was DD's bible class teacher, of all people. Sigh...

 

ETA: Wait. That's not quite true. FIL said a few things when we first started, but doesn't anymore. Or, at least, not to me. I think they still say things to DH.

[Parrothead]

I got one bad comment once. A lady told me that she would drown her children if the bathtub if she had to homeschool them. Within a few weeks she had her children taken from her by CPS because the principal at the public school reported her for visible physical abuse. Then come to find out the children were not hers. She had custody of them because a different family member lost them.

[lionfamily1999]

I've never gotten a bad reaction either. Like I never had anyone try to touch my belly while pregnant, and I never got unsolicited parenting advice when the girls were babies. I think I give off the "don't ask me dumb stuff" vibe too.

 

The "worst" I've gotten is a "I don't see how you have the patience" from a very dear family friend. I know she didn't mean it in a negative way, but I was rendered speechless for a minute. Thankfully, it was Thanksgiving and there were plenty of other conversations going on. ;)

Ach! With my last pregnancy I even had MEN touching my belly. I started to expect it from women, but to have men my own age accosting me was .... well, it wasn't pretty.

 

I really must have a "Tell me, because I do care" sign above my head.

[usetoschool]

I don't think I ever have either. The most negative I think I've heard is "I could never do that."

 

Same here.

[Paz]

What I've noticed in that last several years is that I don't get any negative comments about the kind of education my dd is getting. I think more people are understanding that homeschoolers can provide a very good education. I am getting still getting stupid comments about socialization. My dd's one softball coach was so upset that dd would miss going to the prom. She thought that would be horrible. Funny thing is that we had 2 homeschool proms in our area and dd chose not to attend either. I felt like forcing her to go. :D

[MelanieM]

Nothing really negative here, either. I have had a couple situations where the people seemed to be biting their tongues a little (i.e. smiling and nodding, but you could tell they really didn't get it), one situation with a gentlemen who seemed genuinely concerned about what it might mean for abused kids (interesting and respectful conversation), and the standard "wow, I couldn't do that!" responses. But overall, I have found it to be extremely well received by just about everyone I encounter. :D

[kalanamak]

Only one, the GM of the birthday boy for homeschool Y co-op. She made a comment about how I *was* smart enough to do this (implying, I think, that her daughter wasn't) and was sarcastically amazed I didn't have 7 kids.

[mktkcb]

Well, I've homeschooled for 14 years, and I've never had a negative either. I do have a friend who is a PS teacher, and I know doesn't really approve of hsing, and a facebook friend who is the same, but they never say anything negative to me personally.

[Margo out of lurking]

My husband is a preacher and we actually have not gotten a job before ONLY because we Homeschool (they actually told us this).

 

:confused: How sad. All I can think is a church of Sardis (Rev. 3) . . .

 

The only negative comments I can think of over the past nine years have been from my dad. :blink: But strangers have been kind, interested, or at least polite.

[Hen]

shortly after moving to this house, the next door neighbor -who is a retired public school teacher -and wonderful, cultured, busy, athletic, smart, plays the cello..I could go on and on, I want to BE her when I grow up :)

 

anyways, when we were new here, and I knew I liked her (but not yet how amazing she is) she found out we homeschooled and the alarmed look on her face was kind of amusing. I spent a second considering toying with her..but I think I must have already loved her, so I let her know that we were in a charter program- the relief that washed over her face was a bit priceless.

 

I love her to bits, and she has spent so much time doing things with my kids, but I don't think she 'gets' it at all. Never have I heard anything negative from her though, she is truly a model.

 

-oh there was the time after the big California homeschool is illegal episode when her husband walked up to me outside and offered her help in tutoring if I wanted to keep my kids home- the panic on her face was pretty funny, I don't think she had teaching in mind for her retirement!! I think he caught her by total surprise. :lol:

[Word Nerd]

I never did except from one aunt who loves to tease people and get them riled up in general, so her negative comments about homeschooling don't really count. (It did make me laugh that she of all people raised the socialization issue...)

 

I don't consider, "I could never do that," as a put-down that has anything at all to do with me or homeschooling in general and have never understood why some homeschoolers take it as such. Then again, I've never understood why some people are offended by weird looks or raised eyebrows, so maybe I just give people the benefit of the doubt where others assume any comment is intended as negative.

 

ETA: I also have a lot of public school teachers in my family. If they were upset about my homeschooling, they kept it to themselves. I had some great, supportive conversations with several of them, too.

[felicity]

I've gotten the "I could never do that" type comment before. The worst on was a new pediatrician I interviewed. The kids were all with memto see how he'd interact with them. As soon as we told him that we homeschool, he looked at the kids and told them that they would have a lot more friends if they went to school.

 

My kids looked back and started to tell him that they were just coming from a friend's house. I stopped them and told him that we wouldn't be needing his services after all. The kids couldn't figure out why he'd say that to them.

[Peela]

Yeah, I dont really leave much space for negativity- I give out a vibe of "I am so enthralled with what I am doing here, I am really not looking for your acceptance or not".

I did get one lot of negativity from our neighbour, a retired school teacher, years ago. Our conversation seemed to be going well but then he just made a very negative remark about how kids need to be in school for highschool for the social aspect. I dropped the subject quickly and moved on- we are not close neighbours but I wasnt going to fall out over that one. ANd he can have an opinion if he wants, even if it is based on complete ignorance :)

But I think I might be a bit like your dh says you are- I just dont notice when people are being judgemental or negative mostly. I just act like they are friendly and open, even when they aren't, and they quite often live up to my expectations :)

[Desert Strawberry]

I got a lot of negativity before we started, but not much now that we're actually doing it.

 

IME, the "I could never do that," comments are most definitely a backhanded insult. To me, the unspoken (or spoken) continuation is "And you shouldn't, either." If I'm the sole homeschooler and I'm outnumbered, there's always a following convo about how homeschooling isn't good for the kids or the parents, because they need time away from eachother for suchamany reasons. It's not directed at me, but it is said in my presence.

[Koerarmoca]

The only negative person about schooling is my mom :confused: in fact our last convo was about how I should be looking into the schools in our new area. Seems like a pretty Pro Homeschool town though based upon running into a fellow homeschooler at the laundromat today :lol: what are the chances :D

[chiguirre]

IME, the "I could never do that," comments are most definitely a backhanded insult. To me, the unspoken (or spoken) continuation is "And you shouldn't, either." If I'm the sole homeschooler and I'm outnumbered, there's always a following convo about how homeschooling isn't good for the kids or the parents, because they need time away from eachother for suchamany reasons. It's not directed at me, but it is said in my presence.

 

I take that one as a backhanded compliment, the unspoken continuation being "You must be supermom."

 

If the "school is necessary" fest starts up, I just say how horrible our experience with the district was with ds2's special needs preschool. That usually moves things to the "what's wrong with our ISD" fest.

[lionfamily1999]

I got a lot of negativity before we started, but not much now that we're actually doing it.

 

IME, the "I could never do that," comments are most definitely a backhanded insult. To me, the unspoken (or spoken) continuation is "And you shouldn't, either." If I'm the sole homeschooler and I'm outnumbered, there's always a following convo about how homeschooling isn't good for the kids or the parents, because they need time away from eachother for suchamany reasons. It's not directed at me, but it is said in my presence.

I finish it mentally with, "You must not be normal" :lol:

 

I agree though, those sorts of comments can seem to be insults, sometimes they are compliments, I guess it's all in the tone.

[Kirch]

I take that one as a backhanded compliment, the unspoken continuation being "You must be supermom."

 

If the "school is necessary" fest starts up, I just say how horrible our experience with the district was with ds2's special needs preschool. That usually moves things to the "what's wrong with our ISD" fest.

 

I got that comment just this morning from someone who's told me that before, and it was definitely meant in this way ("Wow, I don't think *I* could do that and I'm impressed that you can"). You know, the fact that she's said it before makes me wonder if she wishes she could . . .

 

It occurred to me today that if I hadn't been pretty sure almost from ds 6's birth that we would homeschool and was faced with the prospect of jumping into it unprepared, I'd be overwhelmed too--and I pointed that out to her. I'd had several years to read, research, glean info from homeschoolers on another board before I found this one . . . I can see how it would be daunting to someone who hasn't had that mental prep time and/or doesn't have an education background (which I also have).

 

I haven't had any negative reactions at all since we've actually been homeschooling. We had one or two mild ones when our oldest was two, but nothing since, and lots of positive ones. My kiddos are pretty good little (unintentional!) ambassadors for homeschooling too.

[ondreeuh]

No one has ever said anything rude to me about the fact that I homeschool. People who know me know that PS wasn't working for Corbin and he has done very well at home. Well, back when he was really struggling in PS and therapy and I first mentioned that I might homeschool, his reading tutor said, "Oh no, don't do that!" She was coming from such a different mindset (leave it to the professionals!) that I don't fault her.

 

I have gotten the cold shoulder within the homeschool community. The unschoolers didn't know what to say when I admitted a) using curriculum and b) not being anti-school. A couple religious homeschoolers stopped talking to me when they figured out I wasn't religious.

[....]

I've never had a positive reaction to homeschooling. I had tons of negative comments (neighbors, family members, their school when I pulled them out).

[dm379]

The only neg. comment I've gotten was from a friend who said that the kids need to be away from me more. And then when I would meet up with her twice a week she would complain because I never brought the kids with me.

 

She doesn't have kids so her opinion doesn't matter yet. :tongue_smilie:

 

I know lots of people don't approve but they never really say anything. They hold their tongues.

[TXMary2]

I have had plenty of snide comments, but just as many positive comments. Too bad it's usually the negative ones I remember.

[Tammyla]

I've had negative and positive since Kindergarten.

[tristangrace]

Only neutral and positive so far. A couple of the positive reactions I've gotten were SO positive they were socially weird. Anyone else have that experience? "Wow, you homeschool? I think homeschooling is just wonderful! That is so, so wonderful for kids. I think you are amazing and I bet your kids are just having an amazing childhood . . .. " This, from non-homeschooling people who don't even know me. I have to bite my tongue to refrain from ask, "How do you know I'm not doing a crappy job?"

[purplejackmama]

The most negative comments I have received come from my own extended family. UGH!!

[ocelotmom]

ETA: I also have a lot of public school teachers in my family. If they were upset about my homeschooling, they kept it to themselves. I had some great, supportive conversations with several of them, too.

Same here. The closest I've gotten to a negative comment from my public schoolteacher mom is a question about how we'd get speech therapy if we needed it (DS was a late talker, and still a bit delayed at the time she asked the question). Since then, she's gotten all on-board with the Finnish and Waldorf delayed formal education (probably moreso than me). None of my schoolteacher grandparents have said anything one way or the other. I have one aunt who homeschooled one of her kids, and seems approving in general.

 

There were several former public schoolteachers in my old homeschool group, and I had a teacher in high school who homeschooled one of her kids for a few years. They certainly aren't all against homeschooling! Which makes sense since, from what I've seen, a lot of teachers have a problem with the current state of the public school system themselves.

Edited April 9, 2011 by ocelotmom

[mrs.m]

It's usually from public school teachers that I meet. We went to a neighborhood party last night and there were a few there. One had some great things to say and the other 2 were stunned and seemed to take it personally that I didn't send my children to their neighborhood school. We just moved here. I have no opinion on the schools around here. I just know that homeschooling works for us.

[lionfamily1999]

It's usually from public school teachers that I meet. We went to a neighborhood party last night and there were a few there. One had some great things to say and the other 2 were stunned and seemed to take it personally that I didn't send my children to their neighborhood school. We just moved here. I have no opinion on the schools around here. I just know that homeschooling works for us.

I know ps workers that support our decision (including admin) and most of them are local. They're excited and happy for us (what does that tell you about the local ps system). However, ps teachers from more afluent areas are happy to tell me that I'm destroying the future and people like me are the reason our country has so many issues.

[akmommy]

I've never had a stranger or acquaintance react negatively, only in-laws. .