PineFarmMom Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 For some people, being offended is their hobby.:001_smile: THIS!!!!! What happened to joy and gratitude at being invited for a meal and fellowship with someone?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missesd Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 I am soooooooooo lost about how a cut of meat and the preference of a person made 16 pages. I could go back and read it all, but then I'd trivialize where I'd spent my time for the day. It cracks me up that so many people on this board are about having the right to chose how we educate our children, but apparently it's sacrilege to chose how we have our meat cooked??? In any event I am sure this is gonna ruffle some feathers but not only do I like my meat WELL, but butterflied as well :P LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deacongirl Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Well, I'm offended that someone thinks they can tell me what to serve when they are a guest in my home! geesh. Thankfully my friends and family know that we go out of our way to take good care of them and meet their needs and wants when they come over...and certainly there are many other delicious things to eat besides well-done filet mignon even if you prefer it that way! This picture is making me want to take some steaks out of the freezer right now though! http://thehungryhousewife.blogspot.com/2009/05/filet-mignon.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missesd Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Well, I'm offended that someone thinks they can tell me what to serve when they are a guest in my home! geesh. Thankfully my friends and family know that we go out of our way to take good care of them and meet their needs and wants when they come over...and certainly there are many other delicious things to eat besides well-done filet mignon even if you prefer it that way! This picture is making me want to take some steaks out of the freezer right now though! http://thehungryhousewife.blogspot.com/2009/05/filet-mignon.html I am not sure if your joking or not... but she *asked* how they wanted their steak cooked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deacongirl Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 I am not sure if your joking or not... but she *asked* how they wanted their steak cooked. True--if I remember correctly, she was asking general questions. i.e. how do you prefer your "beef" cooked. I don't think she told the guests, "hey I was going to cook some filets, but since you like well-done I'm not wasting them on you." If I knew ahead of time someone liked their beef well-done I would choose a cut that lends itself to being prepared well-done. Or salmon. or chicken. or pork. or......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 I've never cooked filet mignon...because I'm scared to. But if I'm at a restaurant, yum! It's not hard. Sear on both sides till the outsides are almost crisp, place in a slow oven for about 12 minutes. Delicious! I've never grilled one, though. The first time I made one was this past Christmas. I was very happy how well they turned out being made in an oven instead of grilled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 I'm cracking up at the tags! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 I'm cracking up at the tags! I know! :lol: The "meat wrath" is classic! The person that did that tag should fess up so I can :hurray: them publically! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 THIS!!!!! What happened to joy and gratitude at being invited for a meal and fellowship with someone?? And the poor OP! She was clearly trying to accommodate her friends. I don't believe for one second that she was malicious in her request, but rather trying to give them a pleasant dining experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 I know! :lol: The "meat wrath" is classic! The person that did that tag should fess up so I can :hurray: them publically! My fav is the "elite meat." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
secular_mom Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 I hope you know how funny it is to a vegetarian that this thread is so long. :p I think this thread proves that EVERYone should become vegetarians- then we can argue about going vegan and whether a raw food diet is ideal and whether we should consume any salt and if so what type and whether raw sugar is okay in moderation or if it's always poison and what supplements one should consume and which ones we should avoid and what's the best source for the supplements and so on and so forth. Not to mention tofu, tempeh, and whether someone should serve grilled or raw mushrooms to guests.:D Surely this board could narrow things down to THE right diet. ;) Not Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Really? You would be very, very offended over a cut of meat? Everyone here needs to big their big girl dinner panties on. I cannot believe the kerfuffle over steak! And I am saying this as someone who was around for the toilet seat up/down controversy!:lol: Yes, I would. If Someone switched my dinner from steak to hamburger (not even another steak, but ground up burger) only because I prefer it cooked a little longer than the host....yes, I would be offended. To me it is like saying, you don't deserve anything better....You taste is so unrefined that you aren't worthy of anything but hamburger. Your not as good as me, because I like it cooked med-rare and you don't, so you don't deserve it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josie Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I would give them what they enjoy. No skin off of my nose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Yes, I would. If Someone switched my dinner from steak to hamburger (not even another steak, but ground up burger) only because I prefer it cooked a little longer than the host....yes, I would be offended. To me it is like saying, you don't deserve anything better....You taste is so unrefined that you aren't worthy of anything but hamburger. Your not as good as me, because I like it cooked med-rare and you don't, so you don't deserve it. Wow. I think you're reading an awful lot into that. I mean, if the hostess served everyone else at the table steak, but plopped a burger in front of you, then yeah, that's a bit insensitive. But holy cow. (ha! I made a pun! LOL) I look at it like this: If I were going to invite someone over and was planning on making lasagna, for example, and they mentioned they don't eat dairy, I'd not alter my lasagna recipe; I'd make something that didn't call for dairy. Am I obligated to alter my recipe for them if there are at least 100,000 other things I could make that they'd enjoy? I don't think so. I don't ascribe any sort of value or worth to the person based on their dislike of dairy in lasagna. I guess I don't understand why a dinner invite obligates the hostess to alter how she cooks a specific meal if there are other things she can make that are just as good. And, I don't understand why one's value as a human being is somehow wrapped up in what meal a hostess serves her guests. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Wow. I think you're reading an awful lot into that. I mean, if the hostess served everyone else at the table steak, but plopped a burger in front of you, then yeah, that's a bit insensitive. But holy cow. (ha! I made a pun! LOL) I look at it like this: If I were going to invite someone over and was planning on making lasagna, for example, and they mentioned they don't eat dairy, I'd not alter my lasagna recipe; I'd make something that didn't call for dairy. Am I obligated to alter my recipe for them if there are at least 100,000 other things I could make that they'd enjoy? I don't think so. I don't ascribe any sort of value or worth to the person based on their dislike of dairy in lasagna. I guess I don't understand why a dinner invite obligates the hostess to alter how she cooks a specific meal if there are other things she can make that are just as good. And, I don't understand why one's value as a human being is somehow wrapped up in what meal a hostess serves her guests. I love this post. Thank you for saying what the rest of us meant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PineFarmMom Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Yes, I would. If Someone switched my dinner from steak to hamburger (not even another steak, but ground up burger) only because I prefer it cooked a little longer than the host....yes, I would be offended. To me it is like saying, you don't deserve anything better....You taste is so unrefined that you aren't worthy of anything but hamburger. Your not as good as me, because I like it cooked med-rare and you don't, so you don't deserve it. :001_huh: Just WOW!!! That is a lot of spinning that would have to go on in one's mind to get all of that out of what meat they were served. It's just so much more peaceful to choose not to be offended over every little slight in life, especially the slights that we make up in our own minds!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I wouldn't cook one for myself that way, but I would cook it for my guest if that is how they wanted it. As long as they eat it, it is not wasted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hana Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I wouldn't cook one for myself that way, but I would cook it for my guest if that is how they wanted it. As long as they eat it, it is not wasted. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Oh...and make sure to butterfly the filet if you cook it well done...that way your steak and theirs will get done around the same time. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Wow. I think you're reading an awful lot into that. I mean, if the hostess served everyone else at the table steak, but plopped a burger in front of you, then yeah, that's a bit insensitive. But holy cow. (ha! I made a pun! LOL) I look at it like this: If I were going to invite someone over and was planning on making lasagna, for example, and they mentioned they don't eat dairy, I'd not alter my lasagna recipe; I'd make something that didn't call for dairy. Am I obligated to alter my recipe for them if there are at least 100,000 other things I could make that they'd enjoy? I don't think so. I don't ascribe any sort of value or worth to the person based on their dislike of dairy in lasagna. I guess I don't understand why a dinner invite obligates the hostess to alter how she cooks a specific meal if there are other things she can make that are just as good. And, I don't understand why one's value as a human being is somehow wrapped up in what meal a hostess serves her guests. Think of it more this way. Dd and I have this issue anyway so it can happen. I like my food in general pretty done. I have to pull dd's pizza out of the oven just a couple minutes prior to pulling out my own. She, and most of the rest of the world, likes her pizza with the cheese just melted. I like my cheese a bit golden almost to the point of being brown. Am I a freak of nature? Yes. Is my pizza ruined? No. I think it is perfectly fine. I'll eat every bite of it, possibly lick my fingers and enjoy every minute of it. We have the same issue with bacon. I like my just this side of being burned. Dd prefers it a bit chewy. I don't get how leaving something on the heat just a few minutes longer alters the recipe to the point that it poses a hardship for the host/ess. Would you begrudge me the use of your microwave to quickly cook my bacon to extra crispy for the BLT you've offered me? For all of you that take issue with those who prefer well-done steak or filet or bacon or whatever what do you do if you don't know your guests preference prior to their arrival at your home for dinner? Do you take issue and make a big deal out of your guests taste and start balling because they've requested their meat cook for a few extra minutes? For the record, I'm a medium-well person for steak so I do get a bit of how I'm a tad uncouth because I like my steak less red/pink than most. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Think of it more this way. Dd and I have this issue anyway so it can happen. I like my food in general pretty done. I have to pull dd's pizza out of the oven just a couple minutes prior to pulling out my own. She, and most of the rest of the world, likes her pizza with the cheese just melted. I like my cheese a bit golden almost to the point of being brown. Am I a freak of nature? Yes. Is my pizza ruined? No. I think it is perfectly fine. I'll eat every bite of it, possibly lick my fingers and enjoy every minute of it. We have the same issue with bacon. I like my just this side of being burned. Dd prefers it a bit chewy. I don't get how leaving something on the heat just a few minutes longer alters the recipe to the point that it poses a hardship for the host/ess. Would you begrudge me the use of your microwave to quickly cook my bacon to extra crispy for the BLT you've offered me? For all of you that take issue with those who prefer well-done steak or filet or bacon or whatever what do you do if you don't know your guests preference prior to their arrival at your home for dinner? Do you take issue and make a big deal out of your guests taste and start balling because they've requested their meat cook for a few extra minutes? For the record, I'm a medium-well person for steak so I do get a bit of how I'm a tad uncouth because I like my steak less red/pink than most. I guess I don't get the entitlement mentality of guests in my home. *shrug* If I made filet for a guest and they asked me to cook it longer (without my having previous knowledge of their distaste for how I personally prepare it), I'd cook it longer without incident. I'd certainly not start balling. How inappropriate! I'd also never make it for them again. However, if I have prior knowledge that they dislike how I make a particular meal, I'd make something else to start with. I don't see how that's offensive. You don't like my lasagna? Fine, I'll make you something you DO like. How that evolves into being rude, or somehow communicating that someone is less of a person is a mystery to me. And, ftr, I don't really care how people like steak. I ascribe no value to anyone's intrinsic worth based on rare, medium, or well-done meat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 If I made filet for a guest and they asked me to cook it longer (without my having previous knowledge of their distaste for how I personally prepare it), I'd cook it longer without incident. I'd certainly not start balling. How inappropriate! I'd also never make it for them again. But steak is one dish that is cooked to order as opposed to lasagne. That's why restaurants even ask people how they want it cooked. I don't understand why you would not make it for them again. I get that YOU think it would be ruined if cooked at well, but if they don't think it is ruined, then what's the big deal? Having said that though, I'm not someone who tends to cook like that even for guests. My guests are more likely to get some homemade chili or spaghetti;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I guess I don't get the entitlement mentality of guests in my home. *shrug* If I made filet for a guest and they asked me to cook it longer (without my having previous knowledge of their distaste for how I personally prepare it), I'd cook it longer without incident. I'd certainly not start balling. How inappropriate! I'd also never make it for them again. However, if I have prior knowledge that they dislike how I make a particular meal, I'd make something else to start with. I don't see how that's offensive. You don't like my lasagna? Fine, I'll make you something you DO like. How that evolves into being rude, or somehow communicating that someone is less of a person is a mystery to me. And, ftr, I don't really care how people like steak. I ascribe no value to anyone's intrinsic worth based on rare, medium, or well-done meat. The "could you cook a filet mignon to a well done state without crying" has been what this thread is about. That is what I'm not understanding. If I'm offering steak of whatever cut and my guest requests it rubbed in Mountain Dew before grilling and only grill it on one side, well that is how they will have their steak at my house from then on until they request something different. I don't understand all of the comments made about ruining the meat, going to cry if I have to cook it a certain way And I don't get the "certainly never make it for them again" thing. What if this lasagna that has baked 5 minutes longer to accommodate your guests taste is to your guest the ambrosia of the gods of lasagna? They never tasted better, ask for 2nds and 3rds, beg for the recipe and a box of leftovers. Still you'll never make it for them again? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 (edited) I would be so very, very offended if I figured out that a hostess switched my meal to hamburger because he/she felt I didn't deserve the fillet based solely on how I would like it cooked. That would be a very sad commentary on how this friend felt about me. Just because I don't want my meat to drip blood on my plate? I get hamburger because of this?!?!?! Yes, I order my steak well done in a restaurant, because it will still be served pink in the middle. AND YES, you can still tell a fillet mignon from a top round if you eat it well done.... I can not say enough about how offensive this would be! Sorry, but a person's house is not a restaurant. As a guest in someone's home, you don't get to dictate to your host how to cook the food. THAT would be offensive. Edited January 17, 2011 by Audrey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I guess I don't get the entitlement mentality of guests in my home. *shrug* If I made filet for a guest and they asked me to cook it longer (without my having previous knowledge of their distaste for how I personally prepare it), I'd cook it longer without incident. I'd certainly not start balling. How inappropriate! I'd also never make it for them again. However, if I have prior knowledge that they dislike how I make a particular meal, I'd make something else to start with. I don't see how that's offensive. . Except that steak is normally something you ask each person how they'd like it cooked. It would be odd to not ask! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Sorry, but a person's house is not a restaurant. As a guest in someone's home, you don't get to dictate to your host how to cook the food. THAT would be offensive. Especially if the hostess was changing the menu because she was afraid of ruining the meal altogether (sorry, but there are some things I don't cook well either...cooking isn't natural to everyone). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Especially if the hostess was changing the menu because she was afraid of ruining the meal altogether (sorry, but there are some things I don't cook well either...cooking isn't natural to everyone). When you extend an invitation, a guest should be gracious about whatever you offer -- regardless of your cooking skill, and not because it's the best steak or the fanciest meal, but simply because you invited them into their home. You know what.... this is reminding me of the thread where someone had invited guests to dinner and the guest said they "only eat Chilean Sea Bass" as if she expected the host to go out and buy primo fish just for her -- like she was a restaurant or something. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 There's a difference, imo, between 'being a restaurant' and 'being a host'. If I know my guest is a vegan, I'm not going to expect them to graciously eat steaks. If I invited someone over without realizing they were a vegan and served steak, I'd be rather upset with myself and run to find something else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 When you extend an invitation, a guest should be gracious about whatever you offer -- regardless of your cooking skill, and not because it's the best steak or the fanciest meal, but simply because you invited them into their home. You know what.... this is reminding me of the thread where someone had invited guests to dinner and the guest said they "only eat Chilean Sea Bass" as if she expected the host to go out and buy primo fish just for her -- like she was a restaurant or something. :glare: I agree. (but this is also why dh asks me to stick with certain things that he knows I cook well when others come over...lasagna is the usual "for company" meal) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 The "could you cook a filet mignon to a well done state without crying" has been what this thread is about. That is what I'm not understanding. If I'm offering steak of whatever cut and my guest requests it rubbed in Mountain Dew before grilling and only grill it on one side, well that is how they will have their steak at my house from then on until they request something different. I don't understand all of the comments made about ruining the meat, going to cry if I have to cook it a certain way And I don't get the "certainly never make it for them again" thing. What if this lasagna that has baked 5 minutes longer to accommodate your guests taste is to your guest the ambrosia of the gods of lasagna? They never tasted better, ask for 2nds and 3rds, beg for the recipe and a box of leftovers. Still you'll never make it for them again? I'm not sure why this is so hard to understand. If someone doesn't like how I make something, I won't make it for them. I'm not running a restaurant. Being invited to someone's home for a meal doesn't give the guests run of the kitchen. The OP asked her guests the night before the dinner how they liked beef cooked. They don't like it cooked the way she cooks it, so she's considering making something else. How in the world that gets translated into the guests not being "good enough" for her steaks, or how that gets construed as rude is mind-boggling. It's not like they were standing there at the grill and she ripped the meat off the grill, threw it back into the fridge and whipped out cheap hot dogs for them. I think it was kind of her to ask their preferences before settling on a menu. She never promised them filets. She simply asked how they liked meat cooked. Given the information she gave in the OP, I don't think she's done anything wrong by reconsidering what to serve. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 If that is what my guests want, yes I would. I understand how rare or even medium rare beef can be unappealing to diners. I prefer rare too, especially with free range grassfed beef. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 (edited) I am soooooooooo lost about how a cut of meat and the preference of a person made 16 pages. I could go back and read it all, but then I'd trivialize where I'd spent my time for the day. LOL I actually DID sit and read it all. It's been amusing. :) I think it's a clash between foodies and non-foodies. ;) :D hehe My two cents... I've never even had filet mignon nor do I know anyone who actually has dinner parties so never do that either. For you all who do, be happy. You are blessed. :) Reading this thread though I just couldn't help but wonder what some of you all would think if you ate at my house. We eat such simple food because we are not rich or anything close to it. It would never even occur to me that having hamburgers and hot dogs on a grill could be insulting to a person. I don't even see what is wrong with that. As for meats, If I were making steaks, I would ask my guests how they like theirs and do my best to cook it to order. I think that is just courteous. Lots of people have allergies and stomach things with foods that I can't possibly know about and nor do I expect them to tell me all of their stomach disorders and such and embarrass them. I like steaks cooked medium, my brother has to have his well done or he has stomach problems. He just can't digest it cooked anything less than well done. I don't fault him for it though. If I invited him over and we were having beef, I would cook his for him the way that he eats it. He's my guest. :) Edited January 17, 2011 by Ibbygirl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 It would never even occur to me that having hamburgers and hot dogs on a grill could be insulting to a person. I don't even see what is wrong with that. Neither do I. Hamburgers on a grill sound like heaven to me. But what do I know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 The OP asked her guests the night before the dinner how they liked beef cooked. They don't like it cooked the way she cooks it, so she's considering making something else. How in the world that gets translated into the guests not being "good enough" for her steaks, or how that gets construed as rude is mind-boggling. It's not like they were standing there at the grill and she ripped the meat off the grill, threw it back into the fridge and whipped out cheap hot dogs for them. I think it was kind of her to ask their preferences before settling on a menu. She never promised them filets. She simply asked how they liked meat cooked. Given the information she gave in the OP, I don't think she's done anything wrong by reconsidering what to serve. And with that, I think the cows have come home.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Neither do I. Hamburgers on a grill sound like heaven to me. But what do I know? You wanna come over and eat? :) :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 :001_huh: It's just so much more peaceful to choose not to be offended over every little slight in life, especially the slights that we make up in our own minds!! :iagree: Honestly? I find this entire thread to be a huge source of comic relief! It's a steak, people! :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Sorry, but a person's house is not a restaurant. As a guest in someone's home, you don't get to dictate to your host how to cook the food. THAT would be offensive. I agree. My fil ALWAYS presumes everyone wants their meat cooked how he likes his. Not once in 21 years has he ever asked. So I don't say anything. I eat the well done edge and that's it. If the edge isn't well done, I don't eat that either. (Seeing blood pool onto my plate makes me nauseated.) My mil does the same for drinks. Not once in 21 years have they had anything I would drink. It's either diet pop or fake sugared lemonade/tea (I don't drink any pop or sweetened drinks other than coffee.) So I drink water. No problem. Not eating there for the service.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deacongirl Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I guess we might be considered "foodies". But that doesn't = food snobs. We serve hamburgers to guests all the time. And dh's favorite restaurants aren't the ones with white table cloths, but the ones where you throw peanut shells on the floor. Some of the best meals we've had have been in humble places. Simple food lovingly prepared is something we appreciate. I hope the OP has an enjoyable night with her friends--that cheesecake sounds delicious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 LOL I actually DID sit and read it all. It's been amusing. :) I think it's a clash between foodies and non-foodies. ;) :D hehe My two cents... I've never even had filet mignon nor do I know anyone who actually has dinner parties so never do that either. For you all who do, be happy. You are blessed. :) Reading this thread though I just couldn't help but wonder what some of you all would think if you ate at my house. We eat such simple food because we are not rich or anything close to it. It would never even occur to me that having hamburgers and hot dogs on a grill could be insulting to a person. I don't even see what is wrong with that. As for meats, If I were making steaks, I would ask my guests how they like theirs and do my best to cook it to order. I think that is just courteous. Lots of people have allergies and stomach things with foods that I can't possibly know about and nor do I expect them to tell me all of their stomach disorders and such and embarrass them. I like steaks cooked medium, my brother has to have his well done or he has stomach problems. He just can't digest it cooked anything less than well done. I don't fault him for it though. If I invited him over and we were having beef, I would cook his for him the way that he eats it. He's my guest. :) I don't think it is insulting either. My story (which was tangential to the well-doneness of filet) was that a hostess TOLD me she wasn't serving steak as she had planned b/c she wanted to serve it to another guest who had to cancel. She told me that since she was "better friends" with the other woman, she was saving the expensive steak for her. Now, I truly didn't care WHAT I was served and I didn't even REMEMBER that I had originally been invited for a steak dinner until the hostess said something about why we weren't having steak. Some people DO choose how much to spend on food according to whom they're serving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I hope you know how funny it is to a vegetarian that this thread is so long. :p :iagree: 20 pages of yammering over a chunk of dead cow. :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Okee dokee. (I think some people are getting way too excited over food here.) I don't think people are way too excited about food, I think they're frustrated that rudeness towards a friend is being endorsed and recommended. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deacongirl Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I don't think people are way too excited about food, I think they're frustrated that rudeness towards a friend is being endorsed and recommended. :001_huh: Right. In the future I will never be so rude as to invite someone over for dinner and work my a$$ off to make it a hospitable experience for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Reading this thread though I just couldn't help but wonder what some of you all would think if you ate at my house. We eat such simple food because we are not rich or anything close to it. It would never even occur to me that having hamburgers and hot dogs on a grill could be insulting to a person. I don't even see what is wrong with that. It's not rude to serve burgers and dogs.... the point was changing the menu because one thinks its a waste to cook a filet well done. And finding out the menu changed because of it. Just seems a little odd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Ok, I think that many of us were offended at the thought of the menu being changed because we thought the OP was saying that her guests didn't deserve filet mignon if they wanted it cooked well done. BUT... I believe she has clarified her position more than once, to say that she was thinking of changing the menu because she was afraid she wouldn't be able to cook it properly, since it was quite different than the way she was accustomed to preparing it. As I understand it, she wanted to serve a good meal to her guests, and wanted to make something that she felt confident in preparing. I know that I misinterpreted her original post, and I'm sure -- based on many of the replies -- that many of us read it the same way I did. But now that we know what she really meant (and have known for a while,) maybe it's time to let this overcooked thread die a natural, non-bloody death. ;) Cat PS. And for the record, I'm one of the people who absolutely believes that there is a huge difference in the taste of cheap well done meat compared with good quality well done meat. The taste and texture are entirely different, and just because something is well done, does not mean it has to be cooked to the point of being shoe leather. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Ok, I think that many of us were offended at the thought of the menu being changed because we thought the OP was saying that her guests didn't deserve filet mignon if they wanted it cooked well done. BUT... I believe she has clarified her position more than once, to say that she was thinking of changing the menu because she was afraid she wouldn't be able to cook it properly, since it was quite different than the way she was accustomed to preparing it. As I understand it, she wanted to serve a good meal to her guests, and wanted to make something that she felt confident in preparing. I know that I misinterpreted her original post, and I'm sure -- based on many of the replies -- that many of us read it the same way I did. But now that we know what she really meant (and have known for a while,) maybe it's time to let this overcooked thread die a natural, non-bloody death. ;) Cat PS. And for the record, I'm one of the people who absolutely believes that there is a huge difference in the taste of cheap well done meat compared with good quality well done meat. The taste and texture are entirely different, and just because something is well done, does not mean it has to be cooked to the point of being shoe leather. I agree with you about the OP...she didn't mean her guests didn't deserve filet mignon if they wanted it well done. HOWEVER...other people did say that. It's more than just *meat*. Most of these threads are... And I find them interesting. I don't think I need a hobby b/c I do find them interesting and participate in these types of threads. I think they are an insight into human nature. (ANd I know that you, Catwoman, didn't say anything about needing a hobby but it has been mentioned thru here.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I'm not sure why this is so hard to understand. If someone doesn't like how I make something, I won't make it for them. I'm not running a restaurant. Being invited to someone's home for a meal doesn't give the guests run of the kitchen. The OP asked her guests the night before the dinner how they liked beef cooked. They don't like it cooked the way she cooks it, so she's considering making something else. How in the world that gets translated into the guests not being "good enough" for her steaks, or how that gets construed as rude is mind-boggling. It's not like they were standing there at the grill and she ripped the meat off the grill, threw it back into the fridge and whipped out cheap hot dogs for them. I think it was kind of her to ask their preferences before settling on a menu. She never promised them filets. She simply asked how they liked meat cooked. Given the information she gave in the OP, I don't think she's done anything wrong by reconsidering what to serve. I don't know either. For me I'm having just as hard a time understanding the other side of it. I knew I should have just stayed out of it. I can only suppose it boils down to different ways of expressing hospitality. While one hostess will bend over backwards to make her guests comfortable in her way the other will will bend over backwards to make her guests comfortable in her way which is entirely different but not wrong. The OP has stated time and again that the reason she would change the menu is because she would feel out of her depth. That is fine. There have been many other posters though that have all but said those heathens who don't eat their steak/filet their way don't deserve to have one. That is the thing that bothers me. Who are they to decide what kind of food someone else deserves? That I find beyond rude. Making jokes about the poor slob that got yelled at (humiliated) by the chef in a public place because he dared to ask for well-done. Equating rudeness with artistic temperament and having it be okay. To me that is just this side of bullying and supporting the bully. Instead of being thankful that one can offer one's guest expensive cuts of meat, people are being judgmental about how someone else prefers their food. This is the kind of thing I have a problem with and why I didn't do what I should have and avoided the thread. The human race still has a long way to go Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I guess we might be considered "foodies". And I just want to clarify since my post referred to this thread, "as a clash between foodies and non-foodies" that I wasn't saying "foodies" in a negative way at all. On the contrary, I know how important food is to some people. I live with one. My husband's day can be made or ruined by the meals he eats. It's just that important to him. Some people have really attuned palettes and they take their food very seriously. Others don't and they have a more laid back attitude. It's all good. :) To the OP, how did your dinner party go? Did they like the salmon?? The menu that you eventually decided on sounded delicious. I hope you all spent a pleasant evening. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Did you specify what kind of meat it was? I don't know that I could grill a filet to well done without crying. I'd probably buy skirt steak and make fajitas. :iagree: It would make me sad to do that to such a fine cut of meat. But if you already told them steak, then serve the steak and try to only cry on the inside. :tongue_smilie: Can't.............consider............cooking one well...........done...... Let em eat cake. Wow. I think you're reading an awful lot into that. I mean, if the hostess served everyone else at the table steak, but plopped a burger in front of you, then yeah, that's a bit insensitive. But holy cow. (ha! I made a pun! LOL) I look at it like this: If I were going to invite someone over and was planning on making lasagna, for example, and they mentioned they don't eat dairy, I'd not alter my lasagna recipe; I'd make something that didn't call for dairy. Am I obligated to alter my recipe for them if there are at least 100,000 other things I could make that they'd enjoy? I don't think so. I don't ascribe any sort of value or worth to the person based on their dislike of dairy in lasagna. I guess I don't understand why a dinner invite obligates the hostess to alter how she cooks a specific meal if there are other things she can make that are just as good. And, I don't understand why one's value as a human being is somehow wrapped up in what meal a hostess serves her guests. When you extend an invitation, a guest should be gracious about whatever you offer -- regardless of your cooking skill, and not because it's the best steak or the fanciest meal, but simply because you invited them into their home. You know what.... this is reminding me of the thread where someone had invited guests to dinner and the guest said they "only eat Chilean Sea Bass" as if she expected the host to go out and buy primo fish just for her -- like she was a restaurant or something. :glare: :iagree: with the above. Personally, I'd never tell anyone what I'm planning to make. Depends where Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Right. In the future I will never be so rude as to invite someone over for dinner and work my a$$ off to make it a hospitable experience for them. Umm...it's clear that you're taking this *very* personally. My comment was not directed towards you specifically, but I thought it might be useful for some to understand that it's not about the food, it's about the perception of rudeness. The folks here who've posted that they like their steak well-done have, for the most part, also stated that they would enjoy having a very good steak cooked to their liking. It sort of appears punitive to change the menu simply because your guest would like their meat more cooked than the host's personal taste. Hospitality is not usually about *pleasing the host*. And yes, it's possible to be rude to a friend even when they don't know it. I'm very glad that the friends of the original poster don't know that they don't deserve a special cut of meat because of their preference for doneness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiCO Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 (edited) I don't think people are way too excited about food, I think they're frustrated that rudeness towards a friend is being endorsed and recommended. :001_huh: That's not what's going on. At all. Take a :chillpill:. Read Catwoman's post above for clarification. Edited January 17, 2011 by PiCO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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