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I'm not surprised in the least. This isn't the first or last thread we'll see where people show how much superior they are over others based on opinion. But like me, we're all allowed to call them like we see them. I feel sorry for those "friends". They've been invited to someone's home and the menu might be chosen on the cheap side because the family isn't couth enough to know the "proper" way to eat a steak. I'd be absolutely mortified if I was that family and that I was treated that way. I personally would want to have nothing to do with the hosts ever again. Honestly. I see it as rather embarrassing and humiliating. Hopefully that "friend" does not frequent these boards!

 

Sorry, but I just think this is way over the top. If you like your steak well done, you simply don't like filet mignon. Why serve them something they don't like. I can't imagine a person going to a restaurant and ordering a filet well done. They most likely just order a different steak. Cooking a filet to well done is just a terrible waste of money. If I were having guests over who liked steak well done, I would never serve them filet. Not because I'm superior, but because they don't like it.

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Sorry, but I just think this is way over the top. If you like your steak well done, you simply don't like filet mignon. Why serve them something they don't like. I can't imagine a person going to a restaurant and ordering a filet well done. They most likely just order a different steak. Cooking a filet to well done is just a terrible waste of money. If I were having guests over who liked steak well done, I would never serve them filet. Not because I'm superior, but because they don't like it.

Why is the the assumption? Is it just filet mignon or does it include things like T-bone, rib-eye, sirloin?

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Why is the the assumption? Is it just filet mignon or does it include things like T-bone, rib-eye, sirloin?

 

The steaks you mentioned have fat in them which keeps the meat moist even if cooked well. FM has almost no fat, so it will be extremely dry if cooked well. But, hey, if someone likes it "chewy", so be it. :001_smile:

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Sorry, but I just think this is way over the top. If you like your steak well done, you simply don't like filet mignon. Why serve them something they don't like. I can't imagine a person going to a restaurant and ordering a filet well done. They most likely just order a different steak. Cooking a filet to well done is just a terrible waste of money. If I were having guests over who liked steak well done, I would never serve them filet. Not because I'm superior, but because they don't like it.

 

Sorry Katemary--you're one of my favorite people on this board, but here I have to say you are wrong. I LOVE my steak well done, and one of my absolute favorites is filet mignon. I have cooked it many times myself, and it is my preferred cut when we eat at a restaurant. I will say that it takes a talented chef to cook it just right, but it can be cooked to well-done perfection and still retain its tenderness.

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The steaks you mentioned have fat in them which keeps the meat moist even if cooked well. FM has almost no fat, so it will be extremely dry if cooked well. But, hey, if someone likes it "chewy", so be it. :001_smile:

Ahh... so that is the issue. I get it now. There are people who don't now how to cook lean meats without drying them out. Gotcha.

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I only know how to cook "well done" - assuming that means that the meat is cooked and not 'bleeding' when you cut into it? (gross!)

 

Of course, I'm a vegetarian.

And my kids don't like steak.

And my husband makes his own if he wants it some other way than 'cooked'. :p

 

(I don't even know what a "filet mignon" actually IS.)

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I would be so very, very offended if I figured out that a hostess switched my meal to hamburger because he/she felt I didn't deserve the fillet based solely on how I would like it cooked. That would be a very sad commentary on how this friend felt about me. Just because I don't want my meat to drip blood on my plate? I get hamburger because of this?!?!?!

 

Yes, I order my steak well done in a restaurant, because it will still be served pink in the middle. AND YES, you can still tell a fillet mignon from a top round if you eat it well done....

 

I can not say enough about how offensive this would be!

 

Really? You would be very, very offended over a cut of meat?

 

 

 

Everyone here needs to big their big girl dinner panties on. I cannot believe the kerfuffle over steak! And I am saying this as someone who was around for the toilet seat up/down controversy!:lol:

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Really? You would be very, very offended over a cut of meat?

 

 

 

Everyone here needs to big their big girl dinner panties on. I cannot believe the kerfuffle over steak! And I am saying this as someone who was around for the toilet seat up/down controversy!:lol:

 

 

:iagree:

 

Everybody needs a hobby of some kind. ;)

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Really? You would be very, very offended over a cut of meat?

 

 

 

 

 

It's not necessarily being offended over a cut of meat, it is the fact that host/hostess has deemed that you don't deserve a quality cut (or a steak, period, I've had the hostess refuse to cook me any type of steak and try to feed me a cheap hot dog because I like my meat well done) because you simply don't like your meat bloody in the middle.

 

If it is a matter of "I'm not sure I'm a good enough cook to do this piece of meat justice in a well-done state", then I have no problem with them saying that and then fixing something else. But if it is simply "Oh, well, I'm going to make chicken instead because I don't want to waste this steak on you" then you bet I'm going to be pissed and offended.

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It's not necessarily being offended over a cut of meat, it is the fact that host/hostess has deemed that you don't deserve a quality cut (or a steak, period, I've had the hostess refuse to cook me any type of steak and try to feed me a cheap hot dog because I like my meat well done) because you simply don't like your meat bloody in the middle.

 

If it is a matter of "I'm not sure I'm a good enough cook to do this piece of meat justice in a well-done state", then I have no problem with them saying that and then fixing something else. But if it is simply "Oh, well, I'm going to make chicken instead because I don't want to waste this steak on you" then you bet I'm going to be pissed and offended.

 

Well, you can be offended if you choose to. I am saying that I refuse to be offended over what a hostess chooses to serve me, or how she chooses to serve it. There are worse things to be offended over. I am not giving meat that kind of power over me.

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I always order my steaks well done, prime rib or filet - it makes no difference. I prefer all my meat well done. And in a quality restaurant wi a decent cook, I have never had it come out dry. In fact, twice I have had a chef bring it to the table just to be sure that when I cut in, it was not too dry.

And if you don't like it that way, then get your own meat to eat.

Oh and you don't have to have red wine with red meat either.

My taste buds, my choice.

 

Would I be insulted if a hostess decided she was not a good enough cook to make a well done piece of meat that isn't dry and thus didn't want to serve me a subpar dinner? No. If she can't cook it, then she can't. It is a reflection on her lack of skill (which everyone has something like that in the kitchen) not my tastes.

 

If she went out of her way to comment that I was somehow wrong or uncouthly ignorant to like my steak well done and she was somehow superior or better for doing otherwise?

 

Well I'd privately make a mental note that she seems to have too much of a poker up bum syndrome to be good for dinner conversation and move to other friends for dinner companionship in the future.

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Well, you can be offended if you choose to. I am saying that I refuse to be offended over what a hostess chooses to serve me, or how she chooses to serve it. There are worse things to be offended over. I am not giving meat that kind of power over me.

 

I'm not a big dinner party person, or a people person, so if I'm at a party that means you're either a very close friend or a relative that I actually really like. I'd be hurt if someone that I loved that much cared more about cooking a piece of meat the way they liked than seeing to it that we all had a good time. Like I said, if they switched because they couldn't cook it that way or even if they didn't want to but kept their opinion to themselves and just made something else I would be perfectly fine with it. It's when you show up and they're making everyone else these really nice steaks and then as soon as you say "Oh, I take mine well-done", they promptly laugh and say "Well then you can't have one, I'll get you a hot dog!" that it hurts.

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This comment reminds me of the book Kitchen Confidential. :lol:

 

Exactly! Dh has had knives thrown at him...and been ordered as a server (with a knife pointed for emphasis) to take back the food to the guest who complained and to tell guest that the chef doesn't make mistakes (this was at a Michelin starred restaurant in Switzerland--don't think it was filet mignon). He was also chased down a hallway after having the audacity to say, "Chef, it isn't ALL.ABOUT.THE.FOOD!"

 

ftr--our friends who are chefs are thankfully much more mellow!

 

I did love hearing Anthony Bourdain talk about the changes fatherhood made in him on Fresh Air.

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Exactly! Dh has had knives thrown at him...and been ordered as a server (with a knife pointed for emphasis) to take back the food to the guest who complained and to tell guest that the chef doesn't make mistakes (this was at a Michelin starred restaurant in Switzerland--don't think it was filet mignon). He was also chased down a hallway after having the audacity to say, "Chef, it isn't ALL.ABOUT.THE.FOOD!"

 

A chef I know had a special meal on the menu that was chicken over pasta. The menu stated the chicken was marinaded in hot spices, and had an extremely spicy coating. The name of the dish was something like "heartburn", indicating the level of spiciness. A woman ordered in, and then wanted to send it back because it was, "too spicy"! The man hit the wall, went out and yelled at her and threw the food away in front of her, and asked her to leave the restaurant.

 

Yah, chefs don't always do what's in the best interest of their business. The best ones are often tempermental artist types.

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The steaks you mentioned have fat in them which keeps the meat moist even if cooked well. FM has almost no fat, so it will be extremely dry if cooked well. But, hey, if someone likes it "chewy", so be it. :001_smile:

 

Wrap it in bacon. ;)

 

You know, I could have a great evening with friends eating bratwurst (well done :001_smile:) and drinking beer. Just don't let me know you were thinking about serving filet mignon, though. What I don't know won't hurt me. ;)

 

I understand how you all feel about your filets. My dad was religious about how to cook a steak. He never did convert me, even after 44 years of trying.

 

And now I really need to stop. Although this thread has got my mouth watering for nice, thick, bacon wrapped filet mignon, cooked to well. I think I'll splurge for Valentine's Day.

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No, I'd run to the store and buy some cheaper steak. People who eat their beef well-done won't notice. ;)

 

Um, yes we will. ;) I love a good steak, even filet mignon. I can't stand even the slightest bit of pink, and I can't stand fat. Both make me gag -- I just can't help it. It isn't a matter of choice for me.

 

Cheaper steaks have fat that I can't cut off because it runs all through the steak. My FIL used to cook cheap cuts of steak, and I would just fill up on side dishes. Good cuts are actually quite tender even when well done.

 

My family has always put my steak on earlier. That way we don't end up with everyone's steak but mine done, and they can all come off the grill at the same time.

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Yes.

 

FWIW, I'm one of those people that can only eat steak in a well-done state. I love the taste of steak, but the texture of anything less than well done (as well as the faint difference in smell) makes me gag. I have been this way for forever, even as a child. I always, always, always get the "oh, you're ruining the meat" and the person grilling (unless they know me very well - parents, siblings, DH) go on and on and on. As a teen I got so sick of it that I tried to eat it grilled to medium just to get the host to shut up about it. I took one bite and ended up throwing up repeatedly for the next twenty minutes in his bathroom.

 

Now, if I go anywhere besides a restaurant, I don't bother to eat the steak. I just go vegetarian-ish for the evening. I love steak but its not worth listening to someone complain for the rest of the evening because they don't approve of how I want to eat my food.

 

(I'm not bitter about this... I don't know what you're talking about:lol:)

 

:iagree: I didn't see your post before I responded, but I could have written it myself word for word. Your bolded words are what frustrate me. They're not eating it so why should they care? I grew up in an Italian American household. We do not cut spaghetti, and we do not cut pizza. Not even for little kids. But some people do. Should I refuse to let them eat angel hair pasta at my house because they might cut it?:lol:

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P.S. I know it might be odd to be so passionate about cook of meat but it's been a topic since a child. I'm amazed that people think they should tell me what to eat or how. Why does this constantly come up in the steak universe? :)

 

This only seems to be an issue with those of us who like well done beef, doesn't it? Really, why do people think it's okay to talk to us like this? Tell us how disgusting our choice is? Yeah, it ruffles our feathers, probably because most of us have dealt with this all of our lives.

 

Maybe we should start constantly commenting to our friends and familes about how horrible their choice to eat uncooked steak is. J/K Sort of.;)

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Wow, I had no idea what a controversial topic this would be. My original response was flippant and intended to be humorous. I do think the juices are the best, most flavorful part, but I don't care how someone else wants theirs cooked as long as I don't have to eat it. I am not great with cooking meat, so I would not attempt to cook a steak well done for fear of it coming out dry or burnt. Or both.

 

Dh is a former chef (not quite so temperamental as some mentioned here, but he definitely has his moments) and he can cook a steak well done, and will for my step father, but it truly hurts him to see all the juices escaping, unappreciated, no matter what the cut.

 

Also, I can't imagine cooking steak for everyone else and serving the person who asked for theirs well done something else. Who would do something that tacky? :001_huh:

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This only seems to be an issue with those of us who like well done beef, doesn't it? Really, why do people think it's okay to talk to us like this? Tell us how disgusting our choice is? Yeah, it ruffles our feathers, probably because most of us have dealt with this all of our lives.

 

Maybe we should start constantly commenting to our friends and familes about how horrible their choice to eat uncooked steak is. J/K Sort of.;)

Hey, I've been teased all my life for liking my meat pink to rare. From mooing sounds to other sorts of teasing. Honestly, go ahead and tease me; it won't hurt my feelings. But then, I don't care if people like theirs different. My husband likes his burnt (I'm not kidding). I give him a hard time for it. He moos at me.

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No, I would not waste filet by cooking it well done, and would buy a different cut of meat.

 

Same here. You're not locked into serving them the filet cut, so why not get something else you can cook till well done? I see nothing wrong with that. It's not like you told them, "Hey! I got some great filets! How do you want them cooked? Oh, well done? Forget it. I'll make chicken instead!" You just asked how they liked beef cooked. I say that leaves you open to either making burgers (and there's nothing wrong with a good burger!) or getting another cut of beef to cook to their preference.

 

Frankly, it would kill me to make hockey pucks from lovely filets. So, I'd definitely make a beef dish that lends well to being cooked well-done.

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Hey, I've been teased all my life for liking my meat pink to rare. From mooing sounds to other sorts of teasing. Honestly, go ahead and tease me; it won't hurt my feelings.

I can't recall ever hearing folks around me being teased for liking steak the way it's "supposed" to be cooked, but since I don't like it rare maybe I've never noticed that kind of teasing.

 

But then, I don't care if people like theirs different. My husband likes his burnt (I'm not kidding). I give him a hard time for it. He moos at me.
Your husband and I like our steaks the same way. If we ever have dinner together, I promise not to moo at you. :D That's his job (and he can get away with it, I suppose). :lol:
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It's not necessarily being offended over a cut of meat, it is the fact that host/hostess has deemed that you don't deserve a quality cut (or a steak, period, I've had the hostess refuse to cook me any type of steak and try to feed me a cheap hot dog because I like my meat well done) because you simply don't like your meat bloody in the middle.

 

If it is a matter of "I'm not sure I'm a good enough cook to do this piece of meat justice in a well-done state", then I have no problem with them saying that and then fixing something else. But if it is simply "Oh, well, I'm going to make chicken instead because I don't want to waste this steak on you" then you bet I'm going to be pissed and offended.

 

A) If the first paragraph is true, you had a very rude hostess.

 

B) Since when did a guest get to determine what the hostess cooks for them? I always thought that when invited to someone's home for dinner, that you ate what was set before you. If the hostess asks your preferences before the meal and you state you dislike rare meat, then how is it wrong of her to make something other than beef? What's wrong with chicken? Or pork? Or fish?

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:iagree: I didn't see your post before I responded, but I could have written it myself word for word. Your bolded words are what frustrate me. They're not eating it so why should they care? I grew up in an Italian American household. We do not cut spaghetti, and we do not cut pizza. Not even for little kids. But some people do. Should I refuse to let them eat angel hair pasta at my house because they might cut it?:lol:

 

But what if they want you to cook their angel hair for 15 minutes? (Not the best example, because angel hair is cheap. I would overcook angel hair to a gooey mess if someone wanted it that way.)

 

Cutting food differently is not comparable to ruining a piece of good meat (especially in this case, where there are other options like making salmon instead.) For the record, I would burn a good filet for a guest if it was not possible to change the menu to something more appropriate without offending the guest.

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But what if they want you to cook their angel hair for 15 minutes? (Not the best example, because angel hair is cheap. I would overcook angel hair to a gooey mess if someone wanted it that way.)

 

But steaks can be cooked separately to varying degrees of doneness. A pot of pasta cannot.

 

Cutting food differently is not comparable to ruining a piece of good meat (especially in this case, where there are other options like making salmon instead.) For the record, I would burn a good filet for a guest if it was not possible to change the menu to something more appropriate without offending the guest.
I probably didn't choose the best analogy, but the bolded part is what frustrates those of us who like well done meat. Who determines that it's "ruined"? We've been told that all of our lives; that what we like is wrong. That's why it's a touchy subject for us. We're constantly told we're ruining the food. We disagree.
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I can't recall ever hearing folks around me being teased for liking steak the way it's "supposed" to be cooked, but since I don't like it rare maybe I've never noticed that kind of teasing.

 

Your husband and I like our steaks the same way. If we ever have dinner together, I promise not to moo at you. :D That's his job (and he can get away with it, I suppose). :lol:

"Properly" depends on the person (I know that the chefs here are claiming otherwise, but I grew up with people that liked theirs well done to rubbery, so I was the oddball).

 

Eh, you could moo at me; I'd just laugh and make some comment about your charred biscuit ;) We have fun here :)

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I don't see what the big deal is. The OP is free to change the menu without offending her guests since she never told them she was serving filet.

 

On the other hand, I don't see why anyone would honestly give a flip how someone else prefers their steak. What is the big deal? When I serve a meal to guests my desire is that they enjoy the food I have served. If someone likes their steak well-done then I want to serve them a well-done steak. Everyone can have their steak done the way they like it. I would never think to myself, "My friend is worthy of my filet only if she takes it the way I prefer mine."

 

It's one thing if the one isn't comfortable cooking a filet to well-done because he or she lacks the ability to do so. It's quite another if one simply refuses to 'waste' good meat on a guest because they prefer it well-done.

 

It's not 'wasteful' of a good cut of meat to cook it well-done if one's guests enjoy it that way.

Edited by Pretty in Pink
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People have mooed at my dh for his extra rare steaks, or made jokes about bringing in the live cow for him to cut off a hunk. Even out in restaurants. He just laughs and enjoys his steak.

 

People have also asked him to cook his own at their house because they were afraid they would over cook it for him, and he is happy to do so. He will also eat what he considers overcooked meat without complaint (at least until we get in the car) if someone puts it in front of him at a dinner party.

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It's one thing if the one isn't comfortable cooking a filet to well-done because he or she lacks the ability to do so. It's quite another if one simply refuses to 'waste' good meat on a guest because they prefer it well-done.

I've never cooked filet mignon...because I'm scared to. But if I'm at a restaurant, yum!

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People have mooed at my dh for his extra rare steaks, or made jokes about bringing in the live cow for him to cut off a hunk. Even out in restaurants. He just laughs and enjoys his steak.

 

People have also asked him to cook his own at their house because they were afraid they would over cook it for him, and he is happy to do so. He will also eat what he considers overcooked meat without complaint (at least until we get in the car) if someone puts it in front of him at a dinner party.

 

Isn't he offended that people moo at him?;)

 

I think it is great that you have been to people's homes where they have been so considerate of his likes and dislikes. He would fit in well here in our "rare lovers" household.:001_smile:

Edited by Elaine
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Uh...yeah.

 

I'd cook it however my guests like it.

 

(I was invited to a cookout once along with another woman and the hostess told me we'd be having steak. The other guest later cancelled and when I got to the cookout we had hotdogs. I thought nothing of it. I actually hadn't even remembered the steak part until the hostess TOLD me that she was saving the steak for when the guest who cancelled would be coming for dinner on another night.)

 

wow!

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People have mooed at my dh for his extra rare steaks, or made jokes about bringing in the live cow for him to cut off a hunk. Even out in restaurants. He just laughs and enjoys his steak.

 

I had a friend in college who used to tell waiters, "Tell the chef to pull the horns off and just put it on my plate".

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Cutting food differently is not comparable to ruining a piece of good meat (especially in this case, where there are other options like making salmon instead.) For the record, I would burn a good filet for a guest if it was not possible to change the menu to something more appropriate without offending the guest.

 

It is NOT ruining a good piece of meat if that is the way someone likes it cooked!

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For some people, being offended is their hobby.:001_smile:

I guess it seems that way to people who are never offended by anything. My take on it is that people can only tolerate so much BS, and when they've had to deal with specific BS on a recurring basis (especially the type where other people tell them they are WRONG or doing something WRONG because they do something differently than others) it becomes a sore spot and their ability to put up with it is severely eroded. Then they may bristle at the topic, and instead of accepting the rudeness of others forcing their views onto them they decide to point out that it is, in fact, rude of them to be doing so and maybe even educate those people a bit by making them aware that people do in fact have different tastes/likes/ideas/beliefs/etc.

I don't see it as choosing to be offended at all. You can't choose what BS other people are going to rub in your face all the time.

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People moo at me all the time because I like it ultra-rare. I just moo back.

 

If I'm at a friend's house and they serve it what I consider overcooked, I eat it anyway. If it's gray, I put salt on it. I wonder if they think I'm ruining it by oversalting it?

 

If I had someone coming for steak and they liked it well-done, I'd probably bring it first and ask them to check and make sure it was cooked enough so that I could throw it back on if it weren't. If I weren't pretty sure, I'd err on the side of a slight undercooking because it's much easier to cook it more than cook it less.

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Sorry, but I just think this is way over the top. If you like your steak well done, you simply don't like filet mignon. Why serve them something they don't like. I can't imagine a person going to a restaurant and ordering a filet well done. They most likely just order a different steak. Cooking a filet to well done is just a terrible waste of money. If I were having guests over who liked steak well done, I would never serve them filet. Not because I'm superior, but because they don't like it.

 

What? I love filet mignon, and I love it well done. And I most certainly order it well done in restaurants. It is the only cut I ever order anymore. Do not like the other cuts as much as I like the filet mignon. Where do people get the idea that people who like well done meat don't like filet mignon? And why is it a waste of money to order my meat cooked the way I like it?

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If I'm at a friend's house and they serve it what I consider overcooked, I eat it anyway. If it's gray, I put salt on it. I wonder if they think I'm ruining it by oversalting it?

 

...or putting ketchup or steak sauce on it...geez.

 

As long as one enjoys their meal the food has not been wasted or ruined. Obviously there are people (myself included) who like filet and like it well-done. Good Lord.

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