Sentences you can't believe you just said?

[Mrs Mungo]

I know it happens a lot when one has children. You say things like "get that dinosaur out of your mouth" or even "here, throw up in my hand." :001_huh::ack2:

 

Recently, I found myself saying "she's not a real hippie, look at this invitation, real hippies take their crafts seriously!" What is WRONG with me?! :lol:

 

So, what are some sentences you can't believe you said?

[newlifemom]

Let take some more meds and maybe I will remember some. :D

 

 

 

BTW, I love the whole throw up in your hand. Priceless.

[springmama]

Yesterday I asked a friend who was visiting, "Hey Heather, is there a ferrari in my sink?"

 

My 2 year old, who calls his cars by their proper names, was freaking out because he couldn't find his ferrari.

[Joker]

Mine are more about the things I say and then immediately flashback to my own mom saying.

 

I am surprised at how many times it seems I've said, "Just blow/wipe your nose on my shirt.":tongue_smilie:

[Melanie]

 

Recently, I found myself saying "she's not a real hippie, look at this invitation, real hippies take their crafts seriously!" What is WRONG with me?! :lol:

 

:lol: I just finished telling my kids that real hippies don't have to tell you they're hippies.

[Mommy22alyns]

"NO naked gymnastics!!" :001_huh:

[newlifemom]

"NO naked gymnastics!!" :001_huh:

 

 

 

:lol:

[Jean in Newcastle]

"Stop howling at the moon".

[Corraleno]

"No you cannot have boobies and a driver's license for your 7th birthday. What's your third choice?" :lol:

 

(And I've done the "throw up in my hand" thing several times in the car, because you can't get that smell out of a car. Ever.)

 

Jackie

[mrsrevmeg]

No shooting each other in the house.

 

Be quiet or I am going to go all Three Stooges on you.

[specialmama]

"No more showering with the bird! There's poop on my soap!"

 

"Honey, your son looks adorable dressed up like a ballerina. He's got such a cute butt in a tutu... he got that from you, you know." :001_huh::lol:

 

In the middle of the night while I'm sleeping:

dh: Ouch! Why are you punching me?

me: I'm sitting here having a conversation with my grandfather. Please don't grope me! Go away and grope me later!

[Forget-Me-Not]

"Quit licking the dog!"

[Lara in Colo]

Stop making a toilet in the backyard!!! Come inside to pee.

 

 

No you may not keep the snake you found in the yard until you find the one you lost in your bedroom.

 

No, I do not want to breed black widow spiders.

 

Stop putting dirt down Daddy's sink.

 

Lara

[Alphabetika]

"Sorry, but you can't take your magnifying glass into the bathroom.":tongue_smilie:

[Oops, duplicate account :/]

"Sorry, but you can't take your magnifying glass into the bathroom.":tongue_smilie:

 

:lol:

[fhjmom]

"Quit licking the dog!"

 

"Quit licking your shoe!" Really you could insert just about any object, both animate and inanimate, in the place of shoe (including the dog) as DD went through quite a phase of licking. :tongue_smilie:

[Parrothead]

"No, you may not read anymore today." Usually stated at 11:30p when I expected lights out 2 hours prior.

[Kirch]

No shooting each other in the house.

 

Be quiet or I am going to go all Three Stooges on you.

 

:lol: I love this!!

[snipsnsnailsx5]

Living in a house with five boys (six including DH!) - I can't believe most of what comes out of my mouth. haha

 

Today for example -

"Please don't brush my hair with the cat brush"

"Is that poop or chocolate?"

"We don't poop on the floor, we poop in the toilet"

"No you may not tie your brothers big wheel to the back of your bike and go down the hill!"

"Please keep your hands out of your pants"

"We don't wipe boogers on our brothers!"

"All bugs need to stay outside."

 

And so on...I could keep going! lol

[dansamy]

Stop exploding the ants or I'll have to take away the magnifying glass.

 

Who drank my ___?

[Amy in TX]

"Whatever you're doing, cut it out!"

 

Truly, I often say this. :)

[Audrey]

I say lots of things that make me turn around to see if the ghost of my mom just said that, but the thing that really had my head spinning was when my husband said to our son, "You'd better watch it or your momma's going go all Southern on your butt."

 

I didn't know I did that, but apparently I do.

[clarkacademy]

Wow I have said alot of stuff lately it has been

 

I don't really know why we can't dance naked in the kitchen honey we just don't.

 

No you cannot choke your brother

 

Yes honey you can sleep with the pancreas dolly

 

Take the kidney's outta your mouth and don't do it again

 

I don't care if the cats mouth is cleaner I don't want him eating off your plate

 

I am sure there has been more but that is all that comes to mind right now

[sagira]

The few I say that I can remember:

 

"Pooping is not a social event." (he invites his younger sister to come and play on the floor in his bathroom or the sink while he's on the toilet and telling jokes :001_huh:)

 

"Toothbrushes are not for sucking."

 

"We don't lick eyes."

 

Dh to ds: "Stop that before I go medieval on you."

[Mrs. Frankweiler]

"Stop wiping your nose on the couch!"

 

"We don't bite people, we only bite food."

 

"I have no more chores for you to do." (I had given them the rare chance of earning an expensive Lego set by doing chores. I figured it would take them a week or two, but they really wanted the set and wanted to cram as many chores in one day as possible. The need for the toy outlasted my amount of chores!)

 

And finally....

 

"We homeschool." (I was quite the anti-homeschooler when my kids were younger. Three moves in one year and ds being bullied and learning nothing at one of the "good" schools in town changed my mind!)

[susancollins]

My daughter dresses her little brother who is two in her ballet costumes and puts my make up on him. I always end up saying no you can't put my makeup on your brother and no you can't dress up in your dance costumes your daddy will not be to happy about that.

 

To my boys I have to tell them to get their hands out of their pants everyday.

[Carrie12345]

Yesterday included "Don't hang off the railing by your shirt," and "You can't go outside with a naked butt."

 

My least favorite phrase is said while folding laundry. "Is this yours or Daddy's?" My dh is skinny, and my ds is getting very tall! :001_huh:

[TN Mama]

Living in a house with five boys (six including DH!) - I can't believe most of what comes out of my mouth. haha

 

Today for example -

"Please don't brush my hair with the cat brush"

"Is that poop or chocolate?"

"We don't poop on the floor, we poop in the toilet"

"No you may not tie your brothers big wheel to the back of your bike and go down the hill!"

"Please keep your hands out of your pants"

"We don't wipe boogers on our brothers!"

"All bugs need to stay outside."

 

And so on...I could keep going! lol

 

:lol: So much for being quiet while dh sleeps.

[JudoMom]

Living in a house with five boys (six including DH!) - I can't believe most of what comes out of my mouth. haha

 

Today for example -

"Please don't brush my hair with the cat brush"

"Is that poop or chocolate?"

"We don't poop on the floor, we poop in the toilet"

"No you may not tie your brothers big wheel to the back of your bike and go down the hill!"

"Please keep your hands out of your pants"

"We don't wipe boogers on our brothers!"

"All bugs need to stay outside."

 

And so on...I could keep going! lol

 

I feel your pain ;).

[CalicoKat]

Inspired by our newly turned, recently potty trained, 3 year old daughter.

 

"You may NOT wear panties on your head!"

[WarriorMama]

"Don't comb your eyes, please."

 

:confused: Kids are WEIRD.

[Sahamamama]

 

• Please stop narrating your bowel movements (after "Here comes a plop! Unnnnh! I'm done.... no, wait, here comes another big one.... unnnnnnhhhhh! Wow, I have a lotta poop today, must be all that corn...."). :ack2:
  

 

 

 

• Please stop humming (said sweetly). :D
  

 

 

 

• Hannah, get DOWN off that TABLE!
  

 

 

 

• Yes, honey, if you run into the wall, it usually hurts (said in response to crying children who [repeatedly] run into the wall and then say, "I ran into the wall and it HURT me, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.")
  

 

 

 

• Please stop HUMMING! :glare:
  

 

 

 

• No, that comb is truly stuck, I'll have to cut it out (said after one-out-of three daughters wrapped a comb irretrievably around her long, curly hair).
  

 

 

 

• BECAUSE I SAID SO, THAT'S WHY! :toetap05:
  

 

 

 

• Get that ____________________ (insert inappropriate, non-food item) out of your MOUTH!
  

 

 

 

• Please do not EVER put a purple bead up your nose AGAIN, especially right before church.
  

 

 

 

• Hannah, get out from UNDER that TABLE!
  

 

 

 

• If you all keep pushing my buttons, I'm gonna loose it all over your behinds.
  

 

 

 

• STOP HUMMING! :mad:
  

 

Edited September 12, 2010 by Sahamamama

[Jilly6]

Why are being so quiet? What are you doing??

(said as a mom of 4 with a houseful of other kids in the house, when suddenly there was utter silence)

 

No, you can't put the tutu on your brother and take him for a walk.

c0150833-991d-49f2-8eab-039fbbb570f8

1.03.01

[Mommyfaithe]

I know it happens a lot when one has children. You say things like "get that dinosaur out of your mouth" or even "here, throw up in my hand." :001_huh::ack2:

 

Recently, I found myself saying "she's not a real hippie, look at this invitation, real hippies take their crafts seriously!" What is WRONG with me?! :lol:

 

So, what are some sentences you can't believe you said?

 

Just recently, I heard myself say. " I don't care what I said....Just do what I meant!!!!"

 

 

:lol: :lol:

 

~~Faithe

[TXMomof4]

Stop exploding the ants or I'll have to take away the magnifying glass.

 

Who drank my ___?

 

Have you heard the song by Go Fish - Ladybug Frying on the Sidewalk?

 

"If the bugger was a burger then he'd be well done!"

:lol:

[TXMomof4]

My daughter dresses her little brother who is two in her ballet costumes and puts my make up on him. I always end up saying no you can't put my makeup on your brother and no you can't dress up in your dance costumes your daddy will not be to happy about that.

 

To my boys I have to tell them to get their hands out of their pants everyday.

 

"Get your hands out of your pants. No, they don't go up your nose either. Quit licking them! They can't possibly taste good at this point!"

 

I credit his amazing immunity to his disgusting personal habits.

[Mommyfaithe]

"No you cannot have boobies and a driver's license for your 7th birthday. What's your third choice?" :lol:

 

(And I've done the "throw up in my hand" thing several times in the car, because you can't get that smell out of a car. Ever.)

 

Jackie

 

My little guy wanted a big fluffy mustache and a flame thrower! LOL :lol:

 

~~f

[Gratia271]

Just recently, I heard myself say. " I don't care what I said....Just do what I meant!!!!"

 

 

:lol: :lol:

 

~~Faithe

 

I am going to borrow that one. :001_smile:

[Rich with Kids]

"Get your book out of your pants!"

 

To my dd16, "We are CSI. We can check your bank account, your laundry and your phone records."

[SilverMoon]

"Put the hammer down and step away from the brother."

 

"No. I really don't want to know what your poop looked like."

 

"Do NOT send the baby sailing across the room on your skateboard." (Not the brand new baby.)

 

"No Spongebob laughs in the middle of church."

[CAMom]

Mine is one I said to my 17 year old a few months ago:

 

"Jordan!! PLEASE print your brother a gallbladder!"

 

My husband was in the hospital recovering from an emergency gallbladder removal and the 4 year old wanted a full lesson on the function of a gallbladder. He had asked the 17 year old to print him a picture of one. A few minutes later, the 4 year old comes whining to me saying, "Mommy...Jordan will not print me a gallbladder." Thus my crazy demand.:)

[zaichiki]

"Quit licking the dog!"

 

:lol: I've said this, too! What is WRONG with these children?! Are dogs tasty or something? :ack2:

[zaichiki]

No you may not keep the snake you found in the yard until you find the one you lost in your bedroom.

 

No, I do not want to breed black widow spiders.

 

 

:lol::lol::lol:

 

I love these!

[Dana]

:lol: I've said this, too! What is WRONG with these children?! Are dogs tasty or something? :ack2:

 

I do know that when I was little, my parents told me that our cat licking us was how she said she liked us. I wanted to communicate with her using her language, so I used to "groom" her. Fur tastes soft.

 

On the plus side, I did outgrow it. :lol:

[qfbrenda]

That's a very cool garter snake, but please take him OUTSIDE! :glare:

 

Yes, your paper airplane flies well from the roof of the play set... now get down. :tongue_smilie:

[ChristusG]

No sweetie, you don't really need to look at your poop each time before I flush it. Yes, it is big, I know.

 

No, you won't get boobies until you get older. That's not how it works, you can't just exercise them to make them grow bigger. But, you don't need a bra, you are flat. No, you don't need a bra because yours don't jiggle when you run. Why? Because they are FLAT. Sweetie, that's just how God made a girls body work....you only get them when you are OLDER.

 

Baby, you are not a llama so you DO need to wear a jacket. No, I really don't think the puma ate your fur. You don't have fur to keep you warm so you really do need to wear a jacket....you'll get cold.

 

Baby, did you and your sister really have to bring the whole bin of blocks and people to play with in here together.....while you poop?

 

Please come back inside since you do not have any clothes on.

 

Yes, just go stand in the grass to pee.

 

There are no chipmunks allowed at the table anymore.

[Hillary in KS]

I once typed "I agree with Spy Car." :001_huh:

 

 

 

:D

[mom2jjka]

"Will you please stop licking the bugs off of the grill of the van?" :001_huh:

[GWOB]

I'm sure every mother of a young boy has said this at least 1000 times:

 

"Honey, please do not stick your pen!s in _____. It goes in your pants."

 

Also said:

 

"Yes dear, I did hear your poop. Yes, it does stink. No, you can wipe your own booty."

 

"Please lower your voice. I can't tell if that is a man or woman either, but let's just move along before Mommy dies of humiliation."

 

"You cannot pee outside while we are in town."

 

"Pulling down your pants/pulling up your dress is not appropriate, even though you are trying to show off your new underwear."

[SeekingSimplicity]

You cannot pee outside while we are in town."

 

 

Oh, I have said this one so many time here lately.

 

Dh says, 'quit playing with that thing or it will fall off.'

 

No cannon balls on the bed.

 

You are not a chicken.

 

You're not a dog, stop eating off the floor