What was the hardest age so far for your children?

[fairfarmhand]

I used to think it would have been toddler hood, but age 10-11 was awful here with my oldest.

[Carrie12345]

I still vote toddlerhood.

 

My older kids can be VERY difficult, but I can tell them to go away or I can walk away from them. I feel like I have plenty of "regrouping" time to deal with them.

 

My almost-3-yo who wants to put entire rolls of toilet paper in the toilet, sit on the cats, flood the kitchen, climb the walls and generally wear me out? Not much regrouping time!

[Pamela H in Texas]

age four is the absolute worst age for my son, in childcare centers, in my home daycare, with foster kids. It's just TOUGH.

[FairProspects]

The year my boys were 4 & 2. I thought I was going to die! I was in parent education classes every week asking for advice. I felt much better when the 50-something parent educator said that the year her boys were 4 & 2 was the single worst year of parenting they ever had from birth-college. This year, 5 & 3, isn't that much better, but it is still an improvement.

[KRG]

0-6 was the worst here. Now on the brink of 13 it has been easy peasy! I hope it stays that way!

[Amy loves Bud]

DS11 - I haven't found it yet, which really has me worried.

 

DD9 - somewhere around 6 was very difficult.

 

DD2 - I am hoping and praying that it is two. Oh, Lord, please let it be two.

[MamaSheep]

Four was the worst with ds. The WORST.

 

Dd has been so much easier than ds ever was that I can't even pick a year for her. However, she can be quite the drama queen, and I'm guessing the early teens with her will make me want to run away from home.

[cillakat]

4-6yo for my now 10 (11 next month)

7yo for my now 8.5 yo.

 

the almost 11 yo just started an SSRI (ie generic zoloft) so she is fabulously happy now. phew! It was for anxiety but man oh man it's working wonders on the mood as well.

 

 

K

[KS_]

DS11 - I haven't found it yet, which really has me worried.

 

 

I'm in the same boat with my 11 year old ds but from the perspective that he's always been difficult, and I can't pick any one age that he's been *more* difficult. I think we're s.l.o.w.l.y. making progress, but it's very exhausting!

 

With dd, I'm not sure. . .I spend so much energy with ds, that whatever she's gone through hasn't even phased me (and she is strong willed).

[Margo out of lurking]

I LOVE seeing all the difficult 4 year olds! I always thought it was me, and my kids. The "terrible twos" didn't exist, but four was awful with each of them.

 

So far, it was 12-13 with my dd. Oh, that was hard, I never thought it'd be over so soon. I'm not sure about my ds; I sometimes think he's in the worst stage ever (last week), but other times, he's so wonderful and pleasant (this week).

[LibraryLover]

Maybe now? with my teens? Not behaviorially. (I can say that if you have little one who is anxious by nature, that never goes away. Everyone has to continually practice coping skills. A weepy 3 yr old is easier than a weepy 15 yr old, fi) We've been blessed that way, but there are so many demands on teens. They have a lot of concern about their school work/their futures. It's such an unknown for them, and I found it easier to cope the emotional innocence of their childhoods.

Edited March 24, 2010 by LibraryLover

[bluemongoose]

I vote 3-4yo. I am having a bugger of a time with my 3yo and my 5yo was tough in that range as well. She has been much easier since she turned 5.

 

Carrie 1234- I so know what you are talking about. My 3yo has drilled a hole in the wall with spit and his finger (new house), unscrewed the hinges off the door with a board book (again new house!), completely took apart his train table, "colored" the wall by rubbing the paint off the wooden toys, and of course the many toilet/bathroom offenses. Teaching school with my 5yo is like a nightmare because I never can be sure where the 3yo will wander off and deconstruct in a mater of minutes!

[Pamela H in Texas]

Amy, you might not need to worry. My daughter is 17 and has always been absolutely wonderful. We've gotten onto her a handful of times ever (yes, literally), certainly never in the same year!

[StaceyinLA]

And I am not just saying that. I truly don't remember ever being frustrated with my little ones.

 

I'd say that I am still learning the worst ages. My teens have driven me to the brink and back. Oldest dd probably didn't give me grief until she was 18. Second dd started at 16 or so to really drive me to insanity. Youngest dd probably started at 10 or 11. Ds hasn't really driven me too crazy yet, but boys, to me, are just so darn SILLY around 10-12 (heck, 10-25, who am I kidding?) :lol:

[LibraryLover]

And I am not just saying that. I truly don't remember ever being frustrated with my little ones.

:lol:

 

Sometimes I wonder if my memory is poor, but all of my friends and family continually talk about my being the most patient mother of tiyy childen they ever knew. lol I take it, since I am less patient with older kids, as my expectations are greater.

[Cera]

3-5

 

My 5 1/2 year old is just coming out of the miserable phase and my 3 1/2 year old is just entering.

[Danestress]

Beyond perfect. I'm not sure there is anything as great as a four year old. They were naughty sometimes and physically demanding, but pretty much every day was fun with a four year old for me.

 

Honestly, I still haven't had a really hard day with my twin boys. I mean, it was hard when they came home from the hospital and it was physically demanding when they were toddlers, but they were almost always funny, bright and adoring. Now they are 12 and are not adoring, but they are still smart and fun. We have hard moments now but not hard days yet.

 

With the oldest, I adopted him when he was 5 and he had had a lot of heart ache that affected him, so he was always harder. Maybe he would have been harder just by personality. But I think 14 was probably the hardest. 14 really stunk.

[Melissa in Australia]

12 has been the worst age here.

[Crissy]

8-10 was difficult with both of my boys. They cried over EVERYTHING.

Neither of my boys has actually thrown a fit of any sort, but between the ages of 8 and 10, even the slightest adversity was too much for them to handle. Their feelings were so easily hurt, and their emotions were always right at the surface.

[MamaSheep]

Amy, you might not need to worry. My daughter is 17 and has always been absolutely wonderful. We've gotten onto her a handful of times ever (yes, literally), certainly never in the same year!

 

Oh that's nice to hear! I do suspect the drama quotient around here might get a bit extreme once the hormones hit, but she has always been such a cheerfuly, sunshiney person that I love having her around in spite of her tendency to dramatize.

[elise1mds]

3 was HORRID for both kids. I loved 2, because they were curious but not sassy. At 3, they learned to backtalk, which, despite my consistency in punishing them (time and time and time and time again), drove me up the wall. And that's when DS's issues really started rearing their ugly heads. And DD... well... she's female. :D

[newbie]

Youngest dd is NOW!!!!! She crieds worse than when she was a toddler. I hate hormones.

[Mrs Mungo]

11-13

[whitestavern]

DD10 was worst around 4 or 5. DS is 7 now and I'm certainly hoping this is his worst!

[Catherine]

Agree, hands down, four was worst with all three. I still remember my then-four-year-old's room clearing tantrum, when I had to carry him (he was BIG and I was 9 months preggo) up two flights of stairs, down a long hallway, out to my car, and the hour it lasted after that!! He's actually a very sweet 13 yo now.

[angela in ohio]

10 months to 24 months

 

No contest!

[Mommyfaithe]

I used to think it would have been toddler hood, but age 10-11 was awful here with my oldest.

 

really....19.

 

They are old enough to know better....and they think they do....but they don't. 19 is the WORST!!!

 

(for both girls and boys so far....)

 

~~Faithe

[Peela]

My son has always been difficult, but now he is 14, I am really struggling. He is getting very powerful and he constantly wants to test it out on me, and theres a limit to how much want to match him to prove who is boss here.

[StartingOver]

DD ( now 22 ) 13-22 were the hardest.

DS ( now 20 ) 15 was the hardest

DS ( now 18 ) 13 was the hardest

DS ( now 3.75 ) 2 was the hardest

DD ( now barely 2 ) 1 was the harders hehehe.

 

Teens are much harder in my opinion !!

[Amy loves Bud]

Amy, you might not need to worry. My daughter is 17 and has always been absolutely wonderful. We've gotten onto her a handful of times ever (yes, literally), certainly never in the same year!

 

How I hope you are right!

[Lolly]

I used to think it would have been toddler hood, but age 10-11 was awful here with my oldest.

 

Three. For all 4.

[lea1]

Much to my surprise, 4 seems to have been the hardest so far. More arguing, more competition, more challenges to authority, etc.

 

I had done lots of reading about what to expect about the other ages but, for some reason, had not read about 4-year-olds. I just assumed 4 would start getting easier since I had always heard about terrible twos and threes, although I didn't think those ages were bad. I was quite surprised about how much harder 4 has been.

[lea1]

Much to my surprise, 4 seems to have been the hardest so far for both of my sons. More arguing, more competition, more challenges to authority, etc. :tongue_smilie:

 

I had done lots of reading about what to expect about the other ages but, for some reason, had not read about 4-year-olds. I just assumed 4 would start getting easier since I had always heard about terrible twos and threes, although I didn't think those ages were bad. I was quite surprised about how much harder 4 has been.

[Mommyfaithe]

How I hope you are right!

 

My kids were all really great until 19. Then they went through a ridiculous stage where reality just wasn't there. They became argumentative and not the best role models for my youngers...but it didn't last long and they have come back to their senses. They are once again lovely to be around. Now I am waiting for ds to follow suit...but I see the light at the end of the tunnel!

 

I think this may coincide with their first real time out of my oversight...living at college, working their own jobs, have cars, new friends etc. They forget for a while who they are and then pop out of the fog after about a year.

 

~~Faithe

[titianmom]

12-13. Puberty stinks with girls, sorry. ;)

 

She was the most compliant, teachable child imaginable until she became....self aware.

 

:lol:

 

Actually she's a great kid but for some reason at 12ish she lost all desire to...ah...work. At anything. Period. She's very strong willed, also.

[Heidi @ Mt Hope]

I find it interesting how many people are voting for 4 yo. Was it here that someone said that 2 yo's are tough because they learn to say 'NO' but at 4 they learn to say 'No, because I hate you.'

 

My 3.5 yo is wonderful. If he could just entertain himself or play alone for a little while, I'd be in heaven. The 5 yo.... he is my angel/devil. The 8 yo.... well, drama and attitude. I'm not looking forward to 10-11 with him.

 

I think I'll have to wait until they are much older before I can look back at stages that seemed to be more difficult.

[Amy loves Bud]

I'm really surprised at how many people chose four. I loved four with my older two. They could DO stuff then. It was so fun! That's the age I pulled my oldest out of preschool and we had so much fun we decided to homeschool.

 

But then again, I never had so much difficulty with a two year old as with this one. I may be in for it.

[babysparkler]

The year my boys were 4 & 2. I thought I was going to die! I was in parent education classes every week asking for advice. I felt much better when the 50-something parent educator said that the year her boys were 4 & 2 was the single worst year of parenting they ever had from birth-college. This year, 5 & 3, isn't that much better, but it is still an improvement.

 

I agree with you... 4 & 2 makes me want to roll over and go back to bed every morning. I do hope that 5 & 3 is an improvement (it is getting better as we approach). I remember when my olders were 4 & 2 and I felt the same way, but they were boy-girl... this time around they are both boys :willy_nilly:.

 

I'm really surprised at how many people chose four. I loved four with my older two. They could DO stuff then. It was so fun! That's the age I pulled my oldest out of preschool and we had so much fun we decided to homeschool.

 

But then again, I never had so much difficulty with a two year old as with this one. I may be in for it.

 

I love the 4yr old age, but it is the combination of 4 & 2 that makes it more difficult, I think.

[Amy loves Bud]

 

I love the 4yr old age, but it is the combination of 4 & 2 that makes it more difficult, I think.

 

Mine were 4 and 2 when we stopped preschool and started homeschooling.

 

I do have to admit I was much more focused on them. All my jeans had holes in the knees because I was always on teh floor playing with them.

 

Seven years later I'm still focusing on them (homeschooling) so the two year old doesn't get as much one on one from me as they did. I'm sure that explains a lot.

 

But I really did enjoy that time period a whole heckuva lot.

[rainforest mama]

DD#1 was a difficult (high maintenance) child until she turned 2. She's now 11 and is such an angel. She never says no to any request, and is kind and generous.

 

DD#2 has been difficult from day 1 and seems to be getting worse :tongue_smilie: She's 3 now and so negative and contrary, we can hardly believe it. I took her to the doctor at about 19 months to see if there was anything physically wrong with her because she was so surly. No such luck, that's just her personality.

 

My brother says that when his oldest were 4 & 2 was the hardest year. They are both lovely teenagers now.

 

Lana

[Tap]

DD11 2yo-5, at 11yo now she is a dream.

Ds15 has never been a problem.

Dd3...since she was born. She has some issues due to her bio-mother. In fact when I was just putting her to bed and dealing with a huge tantrum, I was thinking that tomorrow I am going to start moving forward on agreeing with the doctor to consider medicating her. :( I am just emotionally fried after dealing with her extremes for 3 years.

[Margo out of lurking]

DD11 2yo-5, at 11yo now she is a dream.

Ds15 has never been a problem.

Dd3...since she was born. She has some issues due to her bio-mother. In fact when I was just putting her to bed and dealing with a huge tantrum, I was thinking that tomorrow I am going to start moving forward on agreeing with the doctor to consider medicating her. :( I am just emotionally fried after dealing with her extremes for 3 years.

 

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Life for both of you, and for your whole family, may greatly improve. I'm praying for you right now.

[Chris in VA]

I used to think it would have been toddler hood, but age 10-11 was awful here with my oldest.

 

12 for my ds18, 13-14 for ds20, and I have a feeling it will be the same for dd9.

[Caribbean Queen]

6 weeks

 

I am into attachment parenting and I will do everything to comfort a newborn, but my son would still cry for hours and work himself up into a froth every evening. Then he'd wake me up a bunch of times at night. :001_smile:

I loved him so, so, so much and I enjoyed him, but that was the most demanding time. Every age since has been easier.

[Denisemomof4]

I used to think it would have been toddler hood, but age 10-11 was awful here with my oldest.

 

is your oldest a boy? I've had friends tell me 10 - 11 were rough with their boys. I found it true with one of mine, but not too bad.

 

My oldest, and several of his friends, had an awful time in 10th grade. That somehow seems to be widespread with many people I know. Not sure why. But 10-11 makes sense as their bodies are getting flooded with hormones.

[lynn]

For our family it has been for each child. My oldest was strong will, add and anxiety issues. toddlerhood to 14 were quite interesting. Now he's pleasant to be around. My middle son never really had a difficult year and he'll be 15 in July. Baby boy who turns 10 today has always been a joy but we'll see what the next couple years will bring.

[EKS]

For my soon to be 14yo, it was between 1-3., particularly between 1-2.

[TravelingChris]

With my oldest and youngest is was puberty time (12-14 for boy, 11-13 for girl thouh with her still going on). With my middle, it was late 14-15.75. She turned out to have PMDD and that didn't start until about a year and a half to two years after her periods started. I am recovering today from the collision of all three yesterday (since oldest is mildly depressed and irritable right now, he isn't good either). So far right now I could say yesterday (as I spent this morning cleaning up soup and Pork with Plum Sauce oieces from my kitchen floor).

[fairfarmhand]

is your oldest a boy? I've had friends tell me 10 - 11 were rough with their boys. I found it true with one of mine, but not too bad.

 

My oldest, and several of his friends, had an awful time in 10th grade. That somehow seems to be widespread with many people I know. Not sure why. But 10-11 makes sense as their bodies are getting flooded with hormones.

 

 

Nope. Oldest is a girl. She has gotten so much better since starting her monthly cycles. At least she's only cranky four days of the month, not everyday! The week before she started the first time WAS THE WORST WEEK OF MY LIFE! I wanted to turn myself in before I shot someone. She was either screaming at someone or crying the WHOLE WEEK! I thought I was the worst mother in the world. Then IT started and our lives have all gotten much better.:)

[Isabella]

I love, love, love the ages from birth to 6 - everybody used to comment on how placid I was, but for me this was the stuff dreams were made of!

After 6 it was fine and fun, but not such a dream time, and then.....the puberty years came!!!

 

DD17 was shocking from 10-13 (she was an early maturer). After 13 I would see glimmers of a nice girl in there somewhere, and after 14 she was quite good. At 15, 16, 17, she was, and is, a wonderful friend as well as daughter. Granted, she is opinionated, and pushes my buttons sometimes, but overall a very mature girl that I'm proud of.

 

DD16 (late maturer)began her terrible age about 6 months after oldest dd was getting over it. From 12-15 she hardly smiled or said a nice thing to me, except when she wanted something from me. At 15 we saw the same glimmers of hope that she would be a nice person someday, and now at 16, she has more better days than bad, but the nasty person pops up a couple of times a week. In the worst time, that nasty person was constant - and I mean it! She mostly back to her cuddly affectionate self.

 

DD13 is much better - she's always been a very easy child, so I'm hoping this stage will be easier, too. She's been physically mature for a couple of years, so I think she'll be fine. We do have a couple of moody and mouthy days each month, but mostly I count my blessings.

 

I told someone a few months ago that I honestly think I would have a nervous breakdown if I had to deal with one more terrible teen. I really think I would. I feel it's worn me down so much to have 6 years of someone almost hating you (and showing it). But, thankfully, life is happier now for us all.