If $$ was no option, (question re private school)

[Sharon in SC]

would you send your child to private school? A conversation I had with a neighbor this week has prompted this question in my mind. They are considering transferring their current 9th grader from the area public school to a very exclusive private school (think college tuition expensive) due to deteriorating conditions in the ps. This has caused me to ask myself - if $ were no option, would I utilize that school instead of our homeschool?

 

Personally, because I believe my kids are right where the Lord wants them to be (home), I'd say, "No". But, as the product of a ps education myself, I have no frame of reference for private school. I think I'm curious to know if any of you can speak to your experiences with the private school experience (either personally or having sent children to one). Is there reason to think that private school is the end all to good education? I say this sort of tongue in cheek and hope that you can understand what I'm trying to ask..... :-P

 

TIA for any insight on this,

Sharon

[PariSarah]

Not homeschool, not private school, not public school with whatever latest reforms are instituted.

 

So, no, I wouldn't send my kids to private school with some ridiculous notion that all their educational needs would be perfectly met. (And I'm not under the illusion that all my kids' educational needs are being perfectly met now.)

 

But having gone to a private school of just the sort you mention, I am aware of the benefits and drawbacks to such a school. And, yes, if money were no object, I would probably give it serious consideration. It would depend on the particular school and the particular child and a good "fit" between the two, but in general, I believe that there are private schools out there that can do a reasonably good job of providing a good education. I've heard tell of public schools that do the same.

[Beth in Central TX]

I answered part of this in the commitment to homeschool thread below. I think both issues are related.

 

I felt a conviction to homeschool through high school the minute we made the decision to homeschool after reading TWTM. However, I won't say that I don't waiver from this commitment because I do; some days are just more challenging than others. In addition, I was very tempted last summer to enroll my boys in a local private school that uses most of the curricula that I do. I would have had a paying job there on top of full tuition coverage for 2 of our 3 boys. My income would have covered the 3rd boy's tuition with some money even left over. It was extremely tempting, but DH stood firm on our conviction to homeschool until all 3 boys were graduated. I did let my emotions run away with me for a little while, but when it came down to it, I just could not imagine sending my boys off to school. So no, even if money was not an issue at all, I wouldn't send my boys to private school.

 

My son did participate in a private school football program this past fall. Based on that experience, I saw nothing that compelled me to believe that private school is superior to homeschooling and even to public school is some areas.

[8filltheheart]

For me, the answer for high school is, well, maybe. How's that for a committed answer. ;)

 

It really depends on the school. I did manage to graduate one from our homeschool. It wasn't an easy road, though. It was full of a lot of battles and conflict b/c my ds could not distinguish educational correction from mom "criticism." He took my critiquing on a personal level, whereas from outside teachers it was simply accepted.

 

The older my kids get I am realizing that outside objectivity and teachers focused on their speciality areas is a good thing, not a bad one. We sent our current high schooler (10th grader) to a private school this semester. He absolutely loves it and is thriving like he never did at home.

 

Our dd is 14 and will be in 9th grade next yr. She is adamant about NOT going to school. (so was our oldest, though in hindsight, I wish we had sent him) Our dd is a different child, though. She is eager to learn and improve her skills and doesn't take my teaching in a personal way.....she is also still only 14. So, we'll see. I am very honestly becoming less and less convinced that homeschooling through high school is optimal. That doesn't mean that I don't believe it can't be done successfully (b/c I did it). It simply means that I think that others might actually do it better than me. :)

 

PS is not an option for our family b/c we disagree hugely with political correctness and conventional moral standards. Private schools do exist that meet our standards, academically and otherwise.

[ncmomo3]

My 3 were in an expensive private school. They have now been hs'ed for 4 years. I have occasionally pulled the syllabus from that school just to 'check' where they are as compared to where we are. Educationally we are about a year ahead. We pulled them for many reasons. They were quickly learning elitism. I think choosing an expensive private school has problems just as a public school does. The kids just seem to have a very different idea of entitlement when money comes easily in their family. I would not send them back. I love the children they have become outside of the school environment. They are much more comfortable with who they are than their peers. Just my experience--FWIW--

[lynn]

It depends. Just because it's a private school no. Because they are known for excellence in education and offer amazing programs my kids would benefit from and majority of students get into top schools yes.

[Jennifer in NH]

They would stay here with us...but if we had much more money we might travel more! A field trip to a medieval castle in europe, maybe! or a trip touring more of the US than we might see now!

But, I think most private schools have about the same problems as public schools. My kids still really get excited over learning (most of the time). I can't see that continuing in any formal school setting.

jenn

[ElaineJ]

It would totally depend on what I felt each child's needs were at that time and what the local private schools had to offer. I had a lot of friends in college who had graduated out of private schools similar to the one you are describing. For some of them, it was a blessing and a wonderful experience. Others ended up with depression and eating disorders from all of the social and academic pressure. I guess, as has been pionted out already, there are pros and cons to every educational setting and different things will work well for different families. If I had the money, I might consider a good private school option, but I don't worry or feel like my kids are missing out because we can't afford that now.

 

Elaine

[TravelingChris]

IF my dh gets a job he is in the running for, we would be moving overseas and get the choice of either getting a load of money for homeschooling (around 5000 for 6th grader and 7200 for 10th grader) or they would pay for the tuition at a private school (which would cost them a lot more). My older does not want to stop homeschooling. She is an introvert and wouldn't want to change tracks either. Her younger sister is a different matter. She claims she wants to be homeschooled but she does so much better working for others. SHe is an extrovert and craves social interaction. She has several opportunities a week but wants more.

[Basketmaker Amy]

I brought my kids home from a private school 2 years ago and haven't regretted it one bit. Yes, they received a better education than the ps around here at the private Christian school, but not better than the one I am providing now. They are at least a grade level ahead now in math, have done Latin for 2 years and have a much better relationship with each other. They don't want to return to the private school either.

 

On the other hand, if I felt that I wasn't providing an adequate education for them...and money wasn't an option...I would look into a private school. Homeschooling isn't for everybody. It takes a lot of hard work and heart!

[Holly IN]

No....

 

Holly

[Plaid Dad]

Only if the private school met some pretty stiff criteria:

 

 

• a traditional classical curriculum comparable to what I would be doing at home, including four years of Latin and Greek
  
• in line with my faith
  
• small, with a positive "school culture"
  
• affordable for my family without loans
  
• within driving distance (not boarding)
  

 

 

I'm actually in the process of working with a group of parents to found just such a school. If it fulfills its promise and if, when the time comes, it looks like a good fit for my dd, I will seriously consider sending her there. But that's a lot of ifs. The bridge isn't even in sight yet, much less ready to be crossed.

 

Edited to add: I should specify that the in-the-works school is for grades 9-12. I would be very unlikely to send my dd to any school before 7th grade at the earliest. I would consider a cottage school/co-op arrangement one or two days a week, though, if the circumstances were right.

[Laura Corin]

It is academically excellent, balanced in its appreciation of arts and sport, and has a long tradition of welcoming people with international experience. I will go and visit it when I have the chance.

 

UK universities are cheap for citizens who are also UK residents (currently USD 6,000 per year for any university, including Oxford and Cambridge) so if we have the money, we will give the boys two years of expensive formal schooling to lead into college. This all depends, of course, on ending up in the right part of the world......

 

Laura

[gandpsmommy]

Only if the private school met some pretty stiff criteria:

 

• a traditional classical curriculum comparable to what I would be doing at home, including four years of Latin and Greek

• in line with my faith

• small, with a positive "school culture"

• affordable for my family without loans

• within driving distance (not boarding)

 

I'm actually in the process of working with a group of parents to found just such a school. If it fulfills its promise and if, when the time comes, it looks like a good fit for my dd, I will seriously consider sending her there. But that's a lot of ifs. The bridge isn't even in sight yet, much less ready to be crossed.

 

Edited to add: I should specify that the in-the-works school is for grades 9-12. I would be very unlikely to send my dd to any school before 7th grade at the earliest. I would consider a cottage school/co-op arrangement one or two days a week, though, if the circumstances were right.

 

My ideas are very similar regarding this issue. I definitely would not be sending my children into an institutional educational setting before 7th grade either, and my criteria for approving a private school would be very similar. The best private school in our area, while within our financial reach, does not meet our educational goals. I don't know of any private school in our area that follows a truly classical curriculum.

 

Btw, Plaid Dad, I wish we lived closer. We would love to have a co-op for the social interaction it would provide for dd6.5, but it wouldn't be worth the time and energy expense to me if it weren't something extremely worthwhile academically. So far, we haven't encountered any other families in our area who follow a classical curriculum of any sort, even neo-classical. We were thinking of joining a local group's book club, until we found out that this year the mom's were selling candles to fund a reward program. Participation in the reward program was optional, but I couldn't imagine taking my kids to discuss the books they have been reading with other kids, only to witness the other kids rewarded for their reading with some junky plastic toy while my kids looked on. It just seemed a bit bizarre to me. Isn't reading it's own reward?

[Danestress]

I attended a very expensive private school through gradutation. I went to college very well prepared. I had great teachers. Socially it was good in some ways, bad in others. My parents made great sacrifices to send me, and I think they made the right choice and am grateful.

 

They have offered to send my sons to the same school. Not interested. I definitely would rather homeschool. There would be a lot of perks if they want - a great education, some really neat opportunities, and my boys find social life very easy and natural so I think they would handle that just fine. But I want to teach my boys. I want them home. I like our lower stress lifestyle. Homeschooling is about more than just academics for me, and I feel it fits our long term goals better. Also, frankly, I don't want them to spend their childhoods with the very wealthy - which we aren't. I think it gives a pretty unrealistic vision of how people live.

[Stacy in NJ]

I attended ps through high school and a private university. For our family, money isn't an issue. There are many good private school available to us in our area. We choose to homeschool because of the unique needs of our kids and our ability to better serve those needs at home. At some point, if that's no longer our reality, I would consider either private or public schools.

[Jenny in Atl]

My oldest (12) would love to go to school. My youngest (7) would not and honestly with her diabetes, there are few schools I would trust to keep her safe and learning at the same time. But, if I had the money and I could find two schools that fit the needs of my kids, I might be willing to give it a go.

[Mrs. Readsalot]

We have an outstanding prep school in our area. Our son has been accepted and the success of the school is outstanding. We can afford it if I went back to work. We decided to continue homeschooling. Homeschooling has worked for use for years and our ds is thriving, so why change.

[Plaid Dad]

We would love to have a co-op for the social interaction it would provide for dd6.5, but it wouldn't be worth the time and energy expense to me if it weren't something extremely worthwhile academically.

 

I hear you. We were involved in a parent-taught co-op last year, and while we met some great families, it was more of a play date for my dd than anything. At this point when we sign her up for outside programs, I assume that they will be social time and that any academic gains are gravy. As long as I go into it with those assumptions, I'm not disappointed. :rolleyes:

[PariSarah]

They were quickly learning elitism. I think choosing an expensive private school has problems just as a public school does. The kids just seem to have a very different idea of entitlement when money comes easily in their family.

 

Yes, that elitism and sense of entitlement is very much a problem.

 

Oddly enough, most of my moral outrage concerning class issues comes precisely from having gone to an elite private high school. I'm not sure why it was that I was repulsed by it rather than infected with it, but I'm grateful.

[Kelli in TN]

Yes, if money were no option my 12 year old and my 10 year old would be enrolled at our local Christian classical school. There is virtually no doubt in my mind that I would do this.

 

My 8 year old would probably always be homeschooled because of his special needs. The only private school I like is not equipped to deal with special needs kids. However, I would now have unlimited funds for all sorts of learning opportunities for him!!!

[Joanne]

No. My reasons for homeschooling reach far beyond being "against public school".

 

The necessities of group institutional learning, the social dynamics of undersupervised minors and the changes that would result in our relationships and lifestyle are a few reasons that come quickly.

 

I'd homeschooling if I lived near the best private or public school.

[Doran]

Our chidlren are older. When they were smaller, I could have stated, emphatically, "NO!". Now, there are so many factors weighing on that choice that I have to qualify.

 

Early on, dh and I had this very discussion, and we came to the decision that we would still not send our children to the one of two private elementary schools in this area, even if money was no object. The reason was, primarily, because of what was stated here:

 

 

 

They were quickly learning elitism. ---ncmomo3

 

 

 

 

While I'm sure all the private school parents mean the best for their children, a visit to the one school here that we might consider (the other is a Catholic school) shows readily how elitism is rather ubiquitous within the school. I attended an assembly (homeschoolers were invited) and marveled when the headmaster gave awards for outstanding performance to kids who had excelled over the summer in horseback riding, sailing, and tennis. Those sports, in and of themselves, are elitist (at least here in MD they are). Not to mention that there are maybe two children of color in the whole student body. This just didn't mesh well with my vision of what my kids would experience in school. (Oh, and I haven't mentioned that I attended a similar school, only smaller, from 4th-8th grades. After that, I asked to attend the public high school. My brother graduated from the small private school.)

 

However, if money was no object, would I simply jump on the bandwagon and enroll my kids in the local sailing and tennis camps? Tricky question and one I'm not sure I could answer faithfully. I'd like to say "no". But, these days, our children are so in need of enriching physical and social experiences that I'm no longer sure.

 

Now, the other factor going on for us is my youngest's learning differences. Chances are, she would not qualify for services in the public school because her needs are mild. However, she also might not be a good candidate for the pace of the private school. Enter the private school in our area (an hour away) for kids with learning differences. I have seriously considered whether this school would be a better situation for our dd than our homeschool. But, the tuition is 10K per year. I can't even come close. I can't understand how people CAN. We are so far down on that financial ladder it just makes me shake my head. Add to that the fact that the school is an hour away. I don't want my kid on a bus for than much of her life everyday. But if money was no object...who knows?

 

She also is the child who I can see following in this boy's footsteps:

 

 

 

He took my critiquing on a personal level, whereas from outside teachers it was simply accepted. The older my kids get I am realizing that outside objectivity and teachers focused on their speciality areas is a good thing, not a bad one. We sent our current high schooler (10th grader) to a private school this semester. He absolutely loves it and is thriving like he never did at home. -- Momof7

So, some days, private schooling seems like a really, really good idea for her...and me.

 

Finally, though, I must add this -- if money was no object, I believe I could probably feel better about our homeschool situation. I would be able to afford the curriculum of my choice, regardless of cost. We could add in online tutorials, museum trips, special classes, travel abroad. I wouldn't have to stop and think about money before making every single dang decision here. I'd just have it! :D

 

So, in some ways, if money was no object, I can see us discovering that our homeschooling environment had enough vibrance to allow us to just keep on doing what we love here while also offering enough, shall we say, diversion, to enable my older kids to have plenty of experiences outside of ME and HOME at this stage in their lives.

 

In the end, I'm thinking we'd do exactly what we do now, and exactly what we said we'd do when we started: Take each year as it comes, making choices for the children and the adults in our family on a case by case basis, while always reassessing where we are and where we want to go.

 

But, it's interesting to think about. Maybe I'll go buy a lottery ticket now. :rolleyes:

 

Doran

[Nestof3]

would you send your child to private school?

 

No. I see very little difference between the two in terms of the reasons we homeschool.

[Snickerdoodle]

No. My reasons for homeschooling reach far beyond being "against public school".

 

The necessities of group institutional learning, the social dynamics of undersupervised minors and the changes that would result in our relationships and lifestyle are a few reasons that come quickly.

 

I'd homeschooling if I lived near the best private or public school.

 

 

Me too.

[WTMindy]

when I would have said, "Yes!" and there may be a time in the future where I will say "Yes!" but for now, it is a "No!"

 

We actually have a wonderful classical school in our town and my two best friends send their kids there. Every once in a while, I get tempted to send my kids there too, but we all love homeschooling right now and so I can honestly say I wouldn't send them even if tuition was free. It isn't even so much that we couldn't afford it (we could) but more that dh would be unwilling (at this point) to spend the money on it.

[nutmeg]

They would stay here with us...but if we had much more money we might travel more! A field trip to a medieval castle in europe, maybe! or a trip touring more of the US than we might see now!

 

I like the way you think! And I agree; if money were no option, I'd be embellishing our homeschooling experience, not quitting it.

[Tressa]

But maybe that is because it is March and not September. :) My church runs a small elementary school, and then there is a larger area high school. If we could afford it, my kids would go there. I always have in the back of my mind that I would just be trading one stress for another.

[JenneinCA]

No

 

But I would have tutors for classes I either don't want to teach or am not qualified to teach.

[Jenny in Atl]

They would stay here with us...but if we had much more money we might travel more! A field trip to a medieval castle in europe, maybe! or a trip touring more of the US than we might see now!

But, I think most private schools have about the same problems as public schools. My kids still really get excited over learning (most of the time). I can't see that continuing in any formal school setting.

jenn

 

 

My sleepy brain did not even think of this! Forget the private school...LOL!

We would TRAVEL... I can't believe I totally forgot my dream of traveling all over the world with the girls. Far, far better than any school I could think of.

Could we have enough so my better-half could quit his job and come too? One can dream. :D

[Peek a Boo]

No. But I would have tutors for classes I either don't want to teach or am not qualified to teach.

 

that and increased traveling as stated before.

 

or maybe a live-in Nanny, like Alice!!!:D

 

but an institutional setting daily? nope.

[Novafan]

For us, yes, this is the case. If money were no option, all 3 of my children would go to the best Montessori school I could find. I would also consider a private classical school. We homeschool for many reasons, but the biggest reason we homeschool is because we can't afford the education we want them to have - so we're doing it as best as we can ourselves.

 

ETA: I would consider private tutors as well.

[elegantlion]

We originally started homeschooling because we couldn't afford the private school anymore. We made a three year commitment to homeschool with the expectation we would send ds back to private school. After two and a half years we realized our reasons for homeschooling no longer had anything to do with finances and renewed our commitment to homeschool.

 

So the money wouldn't do it, but we would travel more, hire a tutor for some subjects and make the world our classroom.

[theodwyn]

not because money is no obstacle but because my dh teaches at a very good private school where our 2 children could go for free. My ds actually went there for K and grade 1 but we have opted to homeschool ever since. Sometimes we think we are crazy and other times my dh says there is no way he wants his kids there. The main thing is they are happy at home and this is where we feel is right at this stage.

Wendy

[Momof2kids]

We looked into it last year but we just couldn't do it. Not because of money but for other reasons. We seriously considered it. We visited several private schools.

 

At our visits we saw some things we didn't like or agree with. In one school the kids looked bored and were laying their heads down on the desk. These kids looked like they were just in prison. Putting in their time. Waiting to get out. I know how they felt because I went to a small private school my entire life except for 1 year where I went to public and I hated it. So that played into my decision as well.

 

One school gave us their code of conduct/rule book and we saw 2 violations on our visit.

 

Another school we went to we really considered. It was very small. About 50 kids total. They had lost half their kids due to a church split. We seriously considered it. We knew a few kids who went there and my kids made friends with them so they would have even known a few people. But I didn't like the curriculum and I don't like us not having the freedom with our schedule and curriculum that homeschooling allows. If I really really wanted to send them or had to send them for some reason, I would have felt comfortable sending them here. But no where else we saw.

[PinkInTheBlue]

Hmmm...this is tricky today only because my morning of school has had a rocky start. :( For the first time ever my 11 yr old has been displaying a difficulty in maintaining his attitude. (ugh!) I feel like I'm dealing with a 2yr old all over again in attitude some days.

 

So, today I have to tell you I would at least entertain the thought of a wonderful, overly-expensive, college prep, non-religious, private school we have in town for next year's school.

 

I love him so much and I hate having these days when I'm having to be the bully demanding a good attitude to me. I wish I had been finished with this with him when he was two. I feel like he's bumping me again to see if I'm going to stick with it. It's amazing to see how he can be so loving, hugging, and verbally affirming one moment and the next he's a grumping, rotten attitude grump. :(

 

Edited to say: money isn't an issue for us and we do travel. However, after reading the other posts the issue of elitism is something we'd really have to address and educate on from this school. I would not like that. They are a school of excellence in education though. They truly are college prep, so educationally I know he'd be getting what I think would be the best in town. I'd still much, much rather him be home with us though. I love homeschooling, even on days I don't. :)

[ChrisN in NY]

If money were no option, I would definitely continue to homeschool.

 

And I would quit my part-time job. I would probably hire a cleaning lady. I would probably shop at ONE grocery store, which would be much faster that going through the sale ads and shopping at 2 or 3 or 4 stores (and other things that I spend time on now to save money).

[Perry]

Money isn't the issue for us. There are no good schools available. If we had a classical or core knowledge school nearby, my kids would be there now.

[Mekanamom]

For us... not before high school.

 

We're very happy homeschooling, I love the curriculum we're using, we all enjoy spending time together, and we enjoy having more time to do the other things we like to do (horses & 4-H!).

 

I am already looking at the options we have available for high school... if money were no object, I would consider a private school right along with all the other options. I couldn't say yes or no to a private school until I've had a chance to compare it to our other options. :)

 

Actually, there is an online high school option with Stanford that would be pretty darn ideal (at this time- if we were ready for high school- still have a few more years!). The kids would be enrolled in the school, they would be prepared to get into Stanford for college, and they would still be home for their school work and would have more free time for socializing and pursuing their passions... without the elitism. The thing is, it's really, really expensive! I think it would be a good compromise, though... if money were no object. ;)

 

http://epgy.stanford.edu/ohs/

[Tracey in TX]

Our goal is to reach the academic level abilities to send DCs to the elite Boys Only and Girls Only schools in our area. DH attended one of the best boarding schools in the nation (he lived at home) and it made a huge difference in his university acceptances and career choices. I want the same privileges for my kiddos.

 

No single school can currently reach each of our DC's needs and we're enjoying the family time hs currently offers.

[Harriet Vane]

I personally attended an excellent private school and had a really, really good experience there. My public school experience from K-8 had been mediocre at best and really terrible at worst, so the private high school was incredible. The atmosphere at that particular school was friendly and accepting, and the academics were quite challenging (which I actually loved).

 

I waffle as I consider my own dd. In many ways I would love for her to have the same wonderful experience that I did. On the other hand, homeschooling has been working really well for us, and I really believe in the benefits of what we are doing.

 

My own decision would be based on what that specific school has to offer and on finances. Not all schools are created equal.

[Plucky]

Sure, I'd consider it.

[j.griff]

If money were no issue, I'd hire private tutors for each of the DC, so they could each have their own individual "teacher". :D I wouldn't want my kids in school, private or public, but that's just me (and my dc- they just don't do well in a classroom setting unless it is a single class).

[Pretty in Pink]

if money were no object i would do some things differently, like spend less time looking for deals on resources! lol and we would certainly travel more, but no, we would not enroll our children in private school.

[K&Rs Mom]

I wouldn't, mostly because private schools are not that much different from public schools. Their books may be at a higher level, or they may learn an extra language, but the main problems with the classroom system are still there. I did go to a private school K-3, then public 4-12, and the environment wasn't really different. There were "good" kids and "bad" kids in both buildings, there were "good" teachers and "bad" teachers in both buildings. I spent a LOT of time waiting around for everyone else to finish, in both buildings, and I learned to lie and pretend I didn't know the answers so I wouldn't be a nerd even in private school.

 

Besides, I really value my freedom now - I can take days off when I want, we're done well before lunch each day, and I don't have to fight to get the kids out the door at a certain time every day. Most of the complaints I hear from my friends who outschool is the way they are slaves to the school schedule, and private vs. public doesn't matter for that.

[Robin Hood]

I go back and forth. Sometimes I want them in private school because it's a tradition in my family and my life would be easier. But I love our neo classical curriculum and our format better than school, and I don't want to give that up. If someone were to take our curriculum, make it better and let me hang out, I might do it.

[Mamagistra]

I haven't read the other replies, but my answer is no. :)

[LibraryLover]

I love that most people said no. :)

 

But I would have to say that I might. 80% on the yes side. There are some really fine private schools around here. I really do respect & value what they are doing.

[Janet in WA]

No. We homeschooled because we wanted our sons at home -- not because we couldn't afford private schools.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I taught at a private school for gifted. It was a good school but I would not want my dc there. I went to a private Christian school. It was a good school (college prep "academy") but I wouldn't want my dc there! Bottom line: in group settings like that the group tends to do more "socializing" than the parents.

 

Also - the bigger the school, the more bureaucracy tends to get in the way. That's not necessarily a bad lesson to learn but I'd rather they learn it in college than before.

 

Also - even though both schools were academically challenging, we get a lot more out of our 1:1 teacher-student ratio than they could get in a school settings. Even the special perks of group activities aren't ultimately worth it my book. Those can be duplicated at home (we have yearly drama parties for our school play) or you can join a club/group that does the spelling bees, debate teams etc. if that is what you or your dc want.