being asked to take off shoes before entering house

[dragons in the flower bed]

I know several people that will not take their shoes off anywhere for hygenic(sp?) reasons.

 

I know one of those too. She won't take her shoes off because she doesn't want us to get her plantar warts, and because it hurts her to walk on those warts. She needs the cushioning or she winces with every step. She solved the problem by keeping fold-up slipper socks in her purse, but for a while before she decided to do that, I was keeping slippers by the door that were just for her.

[Melissa in St Louis]

Inside the house, by the door you have a cute sign that reads:

 

 

"We don't want to seem rude or picky,

but the bottoms of most shoes are icky!

So please remove yours,

and help save our floors,

and help our sweet Grandma who's sick-y"

and then in small print under it

"We completely understand if you have health issues or some other aversion to removing your shoes, but if you could, this small step would help us tremendously. Slipper socks are available in the small basket to wear during your visit. Thank you so much!"

 

 

 

 

Then have a spot for folks to remove shoes/store them during thier stay.

 

I hope this helps! You are sure a blessing to many! :D

 

Melissa in St Louis

 

 

[Nestof3]

Tracey,

 

That's a fabulous scrapbook page! :)

[Julie in CA]

I haven't had time to read all of the other replies, but I can see I'm in the minority.

 

I think it sends a very very clear message to guests that their comfort is secondary to whether or not you have to clean your carpets a bit sooner.

 

I'd put the best (washable) absorbant rug that I could find by my entry door, and if I were concerned about having to clean carpet in main areas, I would put down area rugs that could be sent out for cleaning or easily replaced. Same thing for slippery wood floors, I'd put down area rugs. I would even put a basket inside the front door with a pair of shoes in it to imply that people *could* take off their shoes if they wanted to, but I would never (and I mean never) tell a guest that they must partially undress to enter my home.

[Melissa in CA]

I understand where you are coming from but I do think it can be awkward to insist and to even go so far as to put the shoe covers by the door. I can only imagine my father being asked to walk around a house looking silly with little paper covers on his shoes but he is very uncomfortable at my brother's house because he is required to take his shoes off. It's just not him. It's one of those things and he would likely not come back. Good guy, just a thing.

 

What I would do (and I know I'm in the minority) is set a mat for wiping shoes, set some shoes out by the door so it is implied, go shoeless yourself, ask the few friends you are really comfortable with (if any) to remove shoes to set an example of what you prefer, and then NOT SAY A WORD. I bet 80% of the people with take off their shoes so you aren't dealing with 40 pairs of shoes tracking through your house, just a few. You won't have put anyone out or had to make people explain medical conditions.

 

I do think sending a message out in advance that no shoes are allowed is very much your right but not at all hospitable. I would imply it and then grin and bear it. Someone might wear old socks the first week and not remove but remember it for the future and you haven't embarrassed anyone.

 

Just my .02!

 

Marie

 

:iagree:

 

I'm sorry, but I also think it's rude....especially rude for a "church" setting. We used to host an in-home bible study once a week with approx 15 people. Most removed their shoes, some did not. I have never once...not once...asked anyone to remove their shoes. Those that did remove theirs seemed to cause others to do likewise. And I think most people would remove muddy/snowy shoes upon entering anyones house. But to insist 40 people remove their shoes due to your carpet? To me that would be like saying, "My carpet is much more important than you or your comfort, remove your shoes or you will upset me." :tongue_smilie: Not very hospitable in my opinion.

 

Currently, we are hosting our study in another persons home [we sort of switch off houses] and she DOES require everyone to remove their shoes. It is awkward sometimes and since most of her flooring is TILE...:confused:...it gets rather cold. I agree with those who said to let everyone know ahead of time. You do NOT want to embarrass someone the first time they come to your home for "church." If they know what is required, they will be sure to wear appropriate socks, or to not come if they are that uncomfortable with the idea.

 

My 2 cents, as unpopular as it may be...:D

 

[i just got a chuckle visualizing 80 shoes piled at my front door. :lol:]

[jamnkats]

:seeya:

 

 

I'm starting to wonder if the people who've said they'd find it rude, or that they wouldn't visit someone who expected this, just don't have bad weather where they live.....I can't imagine anyone coming in my house right now and expecting to tromp all over the house in their snow covered boots! :001_huh:

 

Mexico chiming in where we put the A/C on for a week in January but we're cold this morning at 72F/22C. No snow and we live at the beach. For the 4 weeks or so a year that it is cold we have to hunt down socks or go buy them at the store.

 

Everyone ALWAYS takes shoes off here. Not saying that's the norm all over Mexico, but here at our house and at many beach houses we've been to, we take sandals off (if we're wearing anything) at the door (course that's assuming you have a door).

[TraceyS/FL]

Tracey,

 

That's a fabulous scrapbook page! :)

 

Thanks :blushing:, it was one of those digital kits i had to buy because i had those pictures! LOL!! MAybe someday i'll finish it (journal).

 

Here is the RHS if you want to see it.

 

I'm looking forward to getting back into scrapping after the maniac year of BJU recording and divorce is over. I need to play with paper again.

[fivetails]

but I would never (and I mean never) tell a guest that they must partially undress to enter my home.

 

You're the second person to use that wording.... it puzzles me... taking off outdoor footwear isn't like taking off pants. :tongue_smilie:

 

I dunno. Maybe it's really a different-places thing. Cultural thing, whatever. I seriously do not know *anyone* who would think it normal to keep their shoes on in the house. Their house or anyone elses.

 

I'm all grown and my mother would still kick my arse if I walked through her house wearing my shoes! ;)

[Rose in BC]

Leaving your shoes on is an interesting phenomena that certainly doesn't happen here. There are some homes where the host will say "oh, don't bother taking your shoes off" but that is usually in conjunction with construction working being done or something like that.

 

Half the year we're wearing boots and dragging in snow and slush (or mud and rain). I can't imagine dragging in my dirty shoes into someones home.

 

BTW, I do take slippers with me usually.

[Rose in BC]

I'm all grown and my mother would still kick my arse if I walked through her house wearing my shoes! ;)

 

:iagree:

[LibraryLover]

I think it's ok to request, but I wouldn't think it would be ok to insist. Most will take them off, but some can't/won't.

[Nestof3]

taking off outdoor footwear

 

See, to me, shoes are not outdoor footwear. I slip my slip-on flip-flop things on as soon as I get up in the morning. I just got out of the shower -- in my own bathroom that I know I clean often, and I still don't touch my feet to the bathroom floor. I slip my slip-ons on as soon as I get off the little floor towel. Shoes to me are things I wear all of the time except for when in bed. I wear different shoes when I work in the garden and such.

 

I think what I'll do is start bringing a pair of slipons that I only wear when visiting people's houses and never outdoors. That way, I don't have to have their floor stuff on my feet or my shoe stuff on their floor.

Edited February 8, 2009 by nestof3

[Jenn in Mo]

Plus to me, carpet is meant to be walked on and used. If it was meant to be pristine and beautiful, it's be installed on the ceiling where nothing could spill on it and it wouldn't get dirty.

 

Yes! :iagree:

 

That said, I usually take my shoes off. But there are times when I'd be embarrassed to pieces to take them off. And a crowd of 30-40 people all removing their shoes at the same time, piling them all up together....icky. ewww. no thanks.

 

I have lots of rugs outside and inside the door to provide lots of opportunity to clean the shoes off and to provide a place for people to leave their shoes by the door....if they so choose. I agree with the poster who suggested recommending they remove shoes, not insisting. "You can leave your shoes there, if you like." That sounds like a welcoming invitation and not rude at all.

 

I wonder if some are interchanging 'rude' with 'fair'. Of course, it is absolutely fair to insist someone follow your house rules. But if you were to insist that they take off their shoes or leave....how could that be perceived as anything but rude? I can't imagine you handling it that way though. ;)

[Jenn in Mo]

:seeya:

 

 

I'm starting to wonder if the people who've said they'd find it rude, or that they wouldn't visit someone who expected this, just don't have bad weather where they live.....I can't imagine anyone coming in my house right now and expecting to tromp all over the house in their snow covered boots! :001_huh:

 

Well, yeah, we have slushy, muddy, snowy weather...but that's what the door mats and rugs are for. While I do usually remove my shoes, I wanted to point out that wearing shoes in someone's house doesn't automatically mean wearing dirty shoes in someone's house.

[Lovedtodeath]

(although, I'll agree -if you could let the folks know before hand of the house rule, I'm sure many would appreciate the heads-up)

 

I'd suggest having a chair of some type up at the front, so people who might have trouble getting their shoes on or off easily can have a place to sit. :)

:iagree:

 

For those, see if you can't get to a hospital supply store and pick up those disposable sock type thingys.

My Natural Doctor provided socks like this and it worked very well. Construction workers and service workers (cable, etc.) also have those booties that they put on over their shoes. That can work also.

 

You should be aware ahead of time of anyone who may have orthopedic shoes, or braces attached to their shoes. As the host, you need to make them comfortable by acknowledging that they do not need to remove their shoes. Some feelings have been extremely hurt when people with braces were asked to remove their shoes, so I just want to stress the importance of this.

[Laura Corin]

 

And why can't adults keep their shoes on?

 

You may be asking them to do something vile, by their standards.

 

Laura

[Anita in NC]

I don't think it is rude. I do the same thing at my house and we do it out of habit when we visit other people.

[happyWImom]

I think it's pretty much the norm these days. I wonder why? I mean, I totally have everyone do it, and vice versa, but we never did growing up. I wonder when & why it all started.:001_huh:

[mcconnellboys]

No, you are certainly not being selfish or rude. I would make a place at your entrance for them to place their shoes. You might send them a note beforehand telling them that you will do this and asking if they'd like to bring house shoes of some sort to wear inside so their feet don't freeze (not everyone wears heavy socks in winter). I think you're being perfectly reasonable.

[kiana]

If it's a sudden change on your part, I concur with letting people know in advance. Some may wish to bring heavier socks or flip-flops. I would see no issue with it and usually do take my shoes off, but for me it's something that started when I visited Eastern Europe and everyone did it.

[MIch elle]

Canadians always take their shoes off when entering a house. I'm not sure the origins, but it sure does reduce the amount of carpet cleaning which has to be done. I'm living in the Southern USA, and it is unheard of to take your shoes off at the door, however, people catch on pretty quickly and now most of the people who come to our house take their shoes off. I've not asked them, but you might have to. What if you post a humorous sign which says something like, "Please remove your shoes, the maid is on strike"??

 

They have never lived anywhere but Canada (Quebec & Ontario). I didn't take my shoes off in their homes nor did I notice that my cousins(Canadians) took their shoes off when they visited their siblings homes.

[MIch elle]

Living where we do it is the norm to take off shoes in winter and during mud season. If you are somewhere like that I don't think asking or shoes off is rude.

 

We wipe off our shoes; if they are bad, we take them off. But I would never ask others to take off their shoes. Some people do it automatically but I don't expect it nor require it.

[MIch elle]

I haven't had time to read all of the other replies, but I can see I'm in the minority.

 

I think it sends a very very clear message to guests that their comfort is secondary to whether or not you have to clean your carpets a bit sooner.

 

I'd put the best (washable) absorbant rug that I could find by my entry door, and if I were concerned about having to clean carpet in main areas, I would put down area rugs that could be sent out for cleaning or easily replaced. Same thing for slippery wood floors, I'd put down area rugs. I would even put a basket inside the front door with a pair of shoes in it to imply that people *could* take off their shoes if they wanted to, but I would never (and I mean never) tell a guest that they must partially undress to enter my home.

 

:iagree:

 

What do people do with their animals? Do they wipe their feet when they come in from outside? Do they have pet shoes they put on & take off? :tongue_smilie:

[hornblower]

My European friends all consider this to be very, very rude. We've had numerous conversations about it :D

 

I don't ask anyone to take off their shoes except kids who have very dirty shoes, gardeners, construction workers etc....

 

 

I personally still consider it to be rude but have got almost used to it as it's so common in North America.

 

I think if you're really concerned about it then I agree that the best thing would be to ask people to bring their slippers.

[Garga]

Not rude, necessarily, but irritating. I wear my shoes all the time. If it's nasty weather outside, I'll take off the wet pair and put on a dry pair as soon as I'm home. Right up until I slip off my shoes to get into bed, I'm wearing them. It's like Flylady says, when you're dressed to shoes, you're ready for anything. It makes me get more done in my day when my feet are protected. (Then I don't hurt my feet on legos or gravel or my nasty basement floor.)

 

Since I wear shoes all the time, I often wear old socks with thin heels or a hole in the toe, since no one will see them. I have only one friend who seems to want us to take off our shoes, and I always forget she does and I've been in her house with holey socks a few times. I feel very embarrassed by it. When I got dressed in the morning, I didn't anticipate having someone look at my underclothing (which is what I consider socks.)

 

Also, my feet get cold fast. I hate being in a social situation feeling like I'm wearing my underclothing for all to see and I'm cold. Also, if it's supposed to be a group discussing weighty things, being in socks makes me feel like a pajama party and it's hard for me to be concentrating on the subject being discussed.

 

I'm in the minority, I know. So when I'm asked to remove my shoes, I do so graciously and without a murmur. But inside I feel irritated. I know it's my problem to deal with, but you asked...

 

(Unless my shoes are covered with rain or mud, then I take them off w/o feeling irritated. Then I'm just embarrassed and cold by my holey cold feet.)

[talexand]

I live in the pacific northwest where mud is our middle name. Most people take their shoes off at the door without prompting. I feel uncomfortable if I'm asked to keep my shoes on. I assume I'll be taking them off. I don't worry too much about getting them dirty outside.

 

In our house I don't mind if an adult wears their shoes. I trust that they won't wear muddy shoes and will use good judgement. But my husband REALLY does mind. Its not that he doesn't want to clean up after people. Its that home is a clean place to him and that gives him peace of mind. If even one person walks around if even mostly clean shoes that are not restricted to inside use, then it doesn't feel clean to him anymore and he loses his peace of mind. It bothers him. I would say that this is mostly his problem because most people don't feel that way and there is no reason they would expect him to because it is not part of our country's culture. But he does feel this way and he lives here.

[Katrina]

Well, my grandmother raised her family to believe that one of the greatest sins ever committed was to wear shoes in her house, and each of her daughters (aka- my mom) raised their kids that way. My grandmother always said it was easier for her family to take their shoes off than for her to drag out the vacuum cleaner 5 times a day. (And she would've too.)

 

Thankfully I'm not that fastidious of a housekeeper, but the habit is so ingrained into me that I just can't wear shoes in my house. I never make it a requirement for other people but when they see me take my shoes off they usually do the same.

 

When I go to other homes though, I usually ask what they prefer when I come in. The times I've taken my shoes off out of habit and no one else does I end up feeling really odd and uncomfortable.

 

I like the idea of having little footies for people if they don't want or can't take their shoes off. Also, maybe get a big bag of heavy socks from the dollar store to offer to people if their feet get cold or something.

[Daisy]

I'm somewhere in the middle??

 

I have all ceramic tile so I don't want people taking off their shoes. My floors are too slippery for stocking feet. Ask my kids. They are purposely sliding on the floors right now.

 

That said, I'm not offended at being asked to take my shoes off when I go to another person's home especially if they have light carpet. I think they are crazy for having light carpet but I'm not offended.

 

People don't ask you to take off your shoes very often here. Maybe because we live in a warmer climate and most folks just have on sandals (no socks anyway).

 

It absolutely drives me crazy though for little kids to take off their shoes when at my house and then PUT ON my children's shoes. YUCK. YUCK. YUCK. Pet peeve, I guess.

[Guest janainaz]

no one wears shoes in my house - it makes the carpet dirty and I don't consider asking people to take off their shoes rude at all. I would not be offended at someone's house if they asked me.

[iammommy]

Maybe you can buy a roll of the disposable plastic carpet cover that movers put down. it's sticks nicely and is easy to lift up after your guests leave. It leaves no residue. You can also think about just moving out the rugs when your guests are there. The plastic film also covers steps nicely, and easily.

 

I would do things from my end, so my guests feel completely at home.

Sorry to be in the minority.

[TeacherZee]

I live in northern europe and here it is rude to wear your shoes inside. My grandparents always bring a pair of indoor shoes with them when they go somewhere because they need the support and my sister has slippers for guests to use if they don't want to walk around in their socks. However, everyone always takes off their outdoor shoes when they go to someones house. It is automatic.

[The Governess]

Maybe you could send an email or make an announcement at the first gathering that you will have a mat set up for people to put their shoes on if they are comfortable taking them off. Like other posters have said, I wouldn't feel comfortable directly requesting everyone to remove their shoes because you will have some people that will be embarrassed (because of smelly feet, forgot to wear nice socks, or have some sort of foot issue that requires them to keep their shoes on that they might not want to talk about). But hopefully making an announcement that there is a spot for their shoes will alert the majority of people to remove them.

 

We always remove our shoes in our home or someone else's and most of my friends see our shoes lined up by our front door and deposit theirs next to them...but I never say anything one way or the other. =)

[unsinkable]

I didn't read all the replies, but I read enough to know that I'm in the minority...

 

Yes, I do consider it to be rude.

 

First of all, socks are an undergarment. I would be offended if I visited someone's house and they asked me to take off my top layer to expose my undergarments.

 

Secondly, it clearly gives the message that your carpets are more important than your guests. That's not a good practice of hospitality.

 

Third of all, the carpet exists for your use. It should be used.

 

That said, I don't think it's unwise to have a good mat by the door for people to wipe their feet when they come in.

 

What garment are socks worn under? :confused:

[Lisa R.]

I didn't read all the replies, but I read enough to know that I'm in the minority...

 

Yes, I do consider it to be rude.

 

 

 

Secondly, it clearly gives the message that your carpets are more important than your guests. That's not a good practice of hospitality.

 

 

I think asking people to remove their shoes gives the impression that the house is more important than the guests. Also, the thought of 30-40 shoes lined up or piled up by the door is equally distasteful to me.

 

Often when I answer the door without shoes, people ask me if they should remove their shoes when they enter. If you answer the door like this, there is a good chance your guests may ask you. I tell people that it is up to them--whatever they are most comfortable with.

 

I place a high value on hospitality. Yes, it is my house, and I can make whatever rules I want. However, I would never want anyone to feel uncomfortable. Based on the many posts of people who can't/shouldn't remove their shoes based on health or comfort reasons, it is an unreasonable request to ask of everyone.

 

When we open our house to others, it does take more work. It takes work to clean up before and after. If you choose to serve in this way, you'll have to count on extra work. As I've had this same experience, do you mind if I suggest that you ask someone else to provide all drinks or snacks? If you plan to open your home to this many people, even offering drinks is a lot of extra preparation and expense. This way, you would only be in charge of getting the house ready.

 

I appreciate your concern for not wanting to make your guests feel uncomfortable.

 

Perhaps compromise and ask that only kids take off their shoes. I'd like to think that most adults are capable of wiping off their shoes on a mat.

[Joanne]

What garment are socks worn under?

 

Shoes and pants. :confused:

 

I don't consider it rude. But I like and prefer to wear shoes all the time.

 

I know from a practical standpoint that shoes are the way by which a significant amount of mess comes into homes. I get it.

 

But I like to wear shoes and I don't like a lot of "fuss" and "stuff" when I am visiting (carrying extra, etc).

 

My kids are shoes off people. I don't know where they came from.

[Sharon H in IL]

That said, some will balk for various reasons.

 

I also know others who are just plain rude/selfish/maybe stinky feet types who won't either. For those, see if you can't get to a hospital supply store and pick up those disposable sock type thingys. That way everyone will be satisfied.

 

Well, I wouldn't be satisfied. My backstory: First time visiting my prospective in-laws. They had just installed a brand new white carpet and hadn't mentioned their new rule: no shoes.

 

To say I wasn't prepared was an understatement. My legs are so hairy that I am desperate to keep them undercover, but shaving is such a huge pain that I don't shave at all in the winter, when covering is so much easier.

 

So at that first, crucial, emotionally tense moment, before I even got to say "hello" I was supposed to take off my knee-high boots and expose my stocking-clad hairy legs. I was so ashamed I thought I'd die.

 

People have all sorts of reasons for wanting/needing to maintain their dignity by keeping their shoes on. Don't assume you can know their reasons and that those reasons are selfish or neurotic. I'm tearing up just remembering that time.

[dawn of ns]

I really suspect there are climate differences at work here. The thought for instance that a doormat could take off any offending mud or dirt makes me think someone hasn't seen a Maritime spring! :D

[The Governess]

So at that first, crucial, emotionally tense moment, before I even got to say "hello" I was supposed to take off my knee-high boots and expose my stocking-clad hairy legs. I was so ashamed I thought I'd die.

 

:crying::crying::crying: Oh, how mortifying! This is the exact reason why I don't think that insisting on shoes being removed is a good idea. I'm so sorry you had to go through such an awful experience!!!:grouphug:

[Ellie]

I'm not sure I'd ask people to do it. I'd put runners on the carpet to protect it, and baskets or something with shoes already in them, next to the front door, and many people will automatically take off their shoes.

 

I don't wear shoes in my house so it isn't that I don't like going bare-footed. I'm just not prepared to ask people to take off their shoes and run around in their socks or hose.

[Tracey in TX]

I ditto the carpet runners. If you prefer to do the shoes off, then please let your guests know beforehand. I'd hate to walk around barefoot if I were wearing heels or flip-flops. It's a personal thing, but I'm not comfortable walking in someone else's home without shoes. It feels rude. Obviously there are many others who disagree.

Maybe you can make a game of it: best socks win a goofy prize. Worst socks win a cute pair of socks! :D That way if someone forgets and wears holey (sp?) socks, they're not mortified.

 

Have fun with your hosting!

[Sharon H in IL]

I think it's pretty much the norm these days. I wonder why? I mean, I totally have everyone do it, and vice versa, but we never did growing up. I wonder when & why it all started.:001_huh:

 

Yup. It started when people started obeying fashion and buying pristine white carpets for their main living areas. The house we bought here had white carpet in the dining room. The elderly couple who sold it obviously were neatniks or never dined in their dining room. My toddler made short work of that white. He scratched blue crayon across the white carpet before we even moved in.

[Tracey in TX]

My toddler made short work of that white. He scratched blue crayon across the white carpet before we even moved in.

:lol: Too funny! I consider those little idiosyncrasies to be a labor of love, and evidence of children.

[fivetails]

I really suspect there are climate differences at work here. The thought for instance that a doormat could take off any offending mud or dirt makes me think someone hasn't seen a Maritime spring! :D

 

Or winter, for that matter. A cute doormat and runner ain't gonna catch all that salt/snow/slush/stuff. :lol:

 

A few people have mentioned about how carpets are "supposed" to get dirty (or they'd be on the ceiling) and that asking guests is like saying you value your carpet more than your guests' comfort...

 

Guess what? I *do* value the carpet more than someone's temporary foot comfort...wanna know why?

 

Cuz if the shoes of those guests stain the light beige carpet that is all over the living room, hallways, and bedrooms....are those guests going to help me get my damage deposit back from the landlord???? Somehow, I doubt it.;)

 

Outdoor shoes OFF at the door in our house, end of story. :D

[Merry]

it sounds like it's a lot of extra work for you to have this many people over so I would suggest that you make some arrangements with the people to help with the set up beforehand, maybe putting down the plastic carpet covers and putting out the chairs, etc. and then the cleaning up afterwards which can involve removing the plastic covers and the vacuuming and other clean up duties. Then just leave it up to the people to remove their shoes or not, I'm sure most of them would do that anyway. I would think it would be easier this way than to try to police everybody to make sure they take their shoes off and try to provide slippers or shoe covers which sound like too much of a hassle.

[OnTheBrink]

I think, given the medical issues involved, most people would be gracious enough to understand. Personally, my ill mother would be higher on my priority list than guests. Of course, I'd be happy to accommodate those with foot issues that require shoes, but if people were coming over to my home and got their knickers knotted over this small request (a request made in advance, with slippers or shoe covers provided), and really took it to the extreme that they felt their comfort overrode my mother's medical issues, I'd be happy to see them leave.

 

I'm sorry; I just don't believe that "the guest is always right". I think in certain circumstances, there can be some slack given on the side of the guest.

[Renthead Mommy]

Do you have room for 40 pairs of shoes to be lined up neatly?

 

We've been to Indian parties with 50+ people. You go there knowing full well you'll be removing your shoes. HOWEVER these parties take place in houses where the entryway is usually the size of a normal house living room. Shoes fanned out through the entire entryway with room for all the shoes and room to walk around.

 

Do you have that kind of space, or are shoes going to start being piled up on top of each other? (Putting aside my issues with toes:tongue_smilie:) I would be really annoyed if I had to dig my $100 pair of shoes out from under a pile of other shoes. High heels can gouge and regular heels can leave scuff marks on leather. Shoes are meant to be walked IN, not walked on.

 

Also what about food and drinks? Are you having any of that? Is that allowed on the carpet? Because I see that as being a bigger mess factor than shoes.

[tibbyl]

Have you considered not having 30 - 40 people over every other week? Your life sounds full and complicated as it is. Why add to the mix?

 

I do not request my guests remove their shoes, but, of course, they are welcome to do so if that is what they are accustomed to. I only remove my shoes if I am visiting someone whose religion or culture frowns upon not removing shoes. Otherwise, being barefoot in someone's home feels a little too familiar, kwim?

[Osmosis Mom]

It's a cultural thing for some, religious for others/ health-issue for some. Don't care what Ms. Manners says; she is not Muslim fx. or Japanese etc.!!!

 

That said, if I have people over who don't know my take on shoes then I often mention it in the email. I have really only had some sensitive issues a couple of times in 12 years of living here (one was with some worker who walked on with his dirty disgusting shoes on until I gave him some plastic bags to put over).

 

The other day I visited a fellow homeschooler's home where everyone automatically took off their winter shoes. Now her floors were slightly dirty so it was sort of yucky walking around on socks there!! In general, though, then most people that I know of expect visitors to take off their shoes, but that might be bacause we are in New England?

[Nestof3]

Ya know, since this is going to be a regular thing with lots of people, they will not be caught by surprise on it. They can come prepared with socks or slippers or house shoes, or whatever.

 

You could also put a gate across the bottom of the stairs -- I presume to the upstairs -- to keep people off the stairs (which might be a good idea anyway). Are people going to eat there? I've found the dropping of food to be worse than shoe marks. We house church, so we see a lot of this. Everyone has wood or laminate flooring where we go, but I cannot imagine having them all eating on our new carpet. It is totally disgusting how much the children drop on the floor.

[Tokyomarie]

[i just got a chuckle visualizing 80 shoes piled at my front door. :lol:]

 

Hey, you ain't seen nuttin' til you've seen 180 shoes- YES, 90 PAIRS! piled at your front door!

 

I lived for nearly 11 years in Tokyo, where wearing shoes in the house is not only rude, it JUST. ISN'T. DONE! PERIOD! Our church periodically held gatherings at a member's house. Upon entering the "genkan," or entryway, shoes came off. Guests were welcome to bring their own slippers if they preferred (Japanese usually, if not always, wear slippers and have a few pairs of open back-type slippers for guests). One year, friends who lived in one of the rare large houses in Japan hosted Thanksgiving dinner and about 90 people attended! So yes, 180 shoes in the genkan!

 

In that case, it was just understood that shoes come off and guests arrive prepared with their own slippers, if desired, when attending a large gathering. One woman in our church did have medical reasons for wearing shoes in the house. She owned a pair of shoes that were strictly "indoor" shoes, which allowed her to fit the Japanese cultural norm of leaving the outdoors dirt outside, while still meeting her need for foot support.

 

In the North American- specifically the USA- context, where the expectation to remove shoes at the front door is not universal, it IS a little trickier. We have a no shoes house, and truthfully, many of our friends' homes are completely or mostly no shoes. Now that we have reassimilated into North American culture, we request that people remove shoes if possible, but don't freak out if some don't. We haven't yet run into anyone who arrives with wet, muddy, or snowy shoes who doesn't automatically remove their yucky shoes or boots. I'm not sure what I would do if anyone was so thoughtless as to track in the yuck on my white carpet. (I wouldn't have chosen white, but it came with the house and was relatively new. White wouldn't have lasted a year if everyone walked in the house with their shoes!). I personally remove shoes at other's homes unless instructed to leave them on, or the floor looks so dirty that I wouldn't feel comfortable going in stocking or bare feet.

 

For the gathering the OP plans, I would somehow make it known ahead of time that "no shoes" is the expectation. I'm not sure I would make a formal announcement but perhaps tell a few people and ask them to spread the word.