being asked to take off shoes before entering house

[Denisemomof4]

how many of you would consider that rude?

 

We're going to start to open our home up to about 30 - 40 people every other week and I just can't have my wool area rug or carpeting on steps ruined. And since I'm caring for my invalid mother on top of homeschooling, I just can NOT take anymore work than necessary. Am I being selfish or rude?

 

If I were living just a normal, everyday life, what ever that means, would it be rude to ask people to remove their shoes upon entering?

 

I don't want to seem uninviting (most of these people are friends who WILL remove their shoes anyway) and I want to be hospitable.

 

Denise

[kellycbr]

I grew up that way, everyone taking off their shoes. Must be a Canadian thing. Now I live in an area where pine needles or mud is usually attached to peoples shoes. Its good housekeeping and smart to have everyone take off their shoes. Post a sign outside the door or inside if it makes it easiert than telling everyone. You'll be happy you did this.:001_smile:

[samba2nite]

Heck NO you are not being selfish or the like.... it is perfectly normal in asian cultures to remove your shoes before you enter a home. Even is some nothern european countries it is perfectly normal to remove your shoes before you enter a home.

 

It is here in the US where we get hung up on it.

 

I say you go smart sister and save yourself the headache. If you want offer a basket by the front door to place their shoes and offer booties or socks if they need them

[newlifemom]

Personally, I do not think it is rude. That said, some will balk for various reasons. I know several people that will not take their shoes off anywhere for hygenic(sp?) reasons. They are complete germophobes and just.cant.take off their shoes. I also know others who are just plain rude/selfish/maybe stinky feet types who won't either. For those, see if you can't get to a hospital supply store and pick up those disposable sock type thingys. That way everyone will be satisfied. My sister did this when she had a party. She has very expensive hardwood floors and didn't want anyone with heels to knick them. (I can't even imagine having a home like that. :tongue_smilie:) HTH

[Hillary in KS]

I don't think it's rude at all. We have had several friends over the years who have done thins.

 

5 years ago, when we learned our son had dust allergies, we began asking those who visited our home to leave their shoes at the door as well. It cuts down on the allergens brought into the home.

[orangearrow]

I'll just chime in and say that I am generally uncomfortable slopping around in my sock feet in someone's home (unless it's someone I know pretty well - then I am okay with it).

 

But, I don't think it's rude of you and I'd take off my shoes without protest. ;) (although, I'll agree -if you could let the folks know before hand of the house rule, I'm sure many would appreciate the heads-up)

 

I'd suggest having a chair of some type up at the front, so people who might have trouble getting their shoes on or off easily can have a place to sit. :)

Edited February 8, 2009 by orangearrow

[Renthead Mommy]

I can't get people to leave their shoes on!

 

Kids come in and they all kick off their shoes right in front of the door. I'm standing there saying "It's okay to leave your shoes on. You're just getting X,Y,Z. You can leave your shoes on." Nope. Their mothers have beat it into their heads they MUST take off their shoes. Great. Then make sure THEY know how to get the knots out and re-tie them!

 

And why can't adults keep their shoes on? There's no pile of shoes by our door (at least adult shoes). I'm standing in my house, opening the door for you, wearing MY shoes. Keep your shoes on! I don't want to see your toes!

I have a thing about toes. And here everyone is in sandles and crocs, so off come the shoes, and out come the toes!

[Paz]

I do not think it is rude. We would request that our guests take off their shoes when we lived in PA, especially during winter. It was funny, actually because some guests would prefer not to remove their shoes and my dd was young and such a rule follower that she would go up to them and ask them for their shoes. That was a little embarassing.:lol:

[Mommyof4ks]

Not rude at all! It is much healthier too not to have all of the chemicals that we pick up on our shoes all over your carpet also.

[PollyOR]

Can you let them know in advance? I once went to someone's home with holey socks on. It was embarrassing.

 

The suggestion for a chair by the door is also great. Can you tell I'm getting fatter and having a hard time bending over? :lol:

 

Where I live it is fairly common to take shoes off at the front door (wet, muddy winters), so most people start to take off their shoes when they come in our house and see all of our shoes lined up. I usually warn them to keep their shoes on or else they'll go home with very hairy socks (dog sheds and cat pulls his hair out).

[Jill- OK]

...in and out, you might prepare yourself to embarrass a few folks. (Holey socks, stinky feet, etc.)

 

Would that bother *you*, to know that a certain percentage would probably be offended/embarrassed?

 

If you live in an area with messy winters, they might already be accustomed to this, but if not...you're risking catching people off guard, at least the first time.

 

Can I ask why you're expecting that many people, regularly? You mention not being able to handle any extra work...could this be hosted somewhere else?

 

ETA: Just wanted to add that I totally understand the desire to keep your house clean and what you're suggesting is good common sense...but you asked about being perceived as hospitable and inviting. Those are generally things that come from the hostess endeavoring to make the company feel comfortable, KWIM? I'm not saying that it's unreasonable for a hostess to ask what you're asking...but I don't know about hospitable and inviting.

 

But...I could be wrong. :-) It's just a thought.

Edited February 8, 2009 by Jill, OK

[myfunnybunch]

I don't think it's rude at all. In my community, at least, it's normal to take shoes off in others' homes.

 

It might help to have a mat or something similar to direct people's attention. Then you can say "You can leave your shoes on the mat, if you'd like." Which also gives them to opportunity to say, "Well, actually I'd prefer to leave them on." I do think it would be rude to insist that someone remove their shoes if they indicate they'd prefer to leave them on, but most people don't do that without good reason (like stinky feet or yucky toes).

 

Cat

[Guest Katia]

IMHO it doesn't really matter if people are upset or embarrassed. Your House=Your Rules. Make 'em and enforce 'em.

 

Of course if someone is really weirded out you'll need to be prepared for the possibility that they will turn around and leave, or not come back. And that's fine with me if they don't want to do in my house what I am comfortable having them do.

 

When I have had large groups of people in the past, I've let them know before the event that we have a "no shoes worn in the house" rule so that people are prepared and not surprised.

[katemary63]

I guess I'm in the minority. I ALWAYS take my shoes off when entering a house - mine or anyone else's. That's just me - I hate shoes! However, I would never expect guests to take thier shoes off if they didn't want to. I would never ask them to do so. I agree that most won't mind. But I also KNOW that some will, and THAT is what I could not abide. I could not abide making someone feel uncomfortable when they were invited to my home. Actually, If you just said, "Feel free to take your shoes off and be comfortable.", I think most would. The ones who don't, probably have thier reasons, but it wouldn't be that many and probably wouldn't be that big of a "mess".

 

I personally don't consider my carpet very important, so I don't get that angle of your problem. But the above suggestion might mitigate things just enough to be acceptable to you without making anyone embarassed.

[Denisemomof4]

...in and out, you might prepare yourself to embarrass a few folks. (Holey socks, stinky feet, etc.)

 

Would that bother *you*, to know that a certain percentage would probably be offended/embarrassed?

 

If you live in an area with messy winters, they might already be accustomed to this, but if not...you're risking catching people off guard, at least the first time.

 

Can I ask why you're expecting that many people, regularly? You mention not being able to handle any extra work...could this be hosted somewhere else?

 

ETA: Just wanted to add that I totally understand the desire to keep your house clean and what you're suggesting is good common sense...but you asked about being perceived as hospitable and inviting. Those are generally things that come from the hostess endeavoring to make the company feel comfortable, KWIM? I'm not saying that it's unreasonable for a hostess to ask what you're asking...but I don't know about hospitable and inviting.

 

But...I could be wrong. :-) It's just a thought.

 

Jill,

 

I appreciate your thoughts.

 

I live in New England, and wet winters are the norm. I also have wood floors which would be very slippery with wet shoes, but do NOT want the mess in my home anyway. Don't even get me started on mud season. :ohmy:

 

I am regularly hosting gatherings because my husband and I are feeling like we're done with the institutional church - or organized religion. That's a rant I'll save for a better time. Anyway, the plans were all in place and then something unexpected happened: I found out that my mother, incompacitated due to several diseases, was neglected to the point of dehydration, proper diet was not followed, medication not administered regularly, medical treatment for UTI ignored, this while living at a private pay facility which cost $7550 PER MONTH. My sister and I took my mother out of the facility Friday night, had her home Saturday and administered all meds, including those for UTI, and by Sunday had to have her taken to the ER by ambulance. She remained in the hospital for six days. Because of all that's taken place (she's ONLY 68 but has severe Lewy Body Dementia and can't speak for herself, has Parkinsons, diabetes and ulcerative colitis) I can't trust anyone with her care and have brought her home.

 

Sooooo, on one hand I feel guilty for having people over, and on the other hand - I will go CRAZY if I have to give up all of what I look forward to. I already feel guilt for the activities my homeschooled kids will miss but am also thankful for the valuable lessons they will learn while helping out with Nana.

 

I'm so sorry for this rant. I'm consumed with NUMEROUS thoughts.

 

Anyway, I can't take Mom to the gatherings elsewhere so I will have them here. Most homes aren't handicap accessible.

 

I also have the biggest home and it would work well here, but I do need everyone's shoes removed but HATE the thought of making people uncomfortable. :crying:

[PollyOR]

Denise, you need a hug. :grouphug::grouphug: What a blessing you are to your mother!

[joannqn]

I think it is a reasonable request, especially if you follow the suggestion that someone suggested of providing a shoe covering for those who won't for whatever reason. It is your home and other people do need to respect that. It is their choice to respect your requests or not come.

 

That said, I tried to get people to keep their shoes on in my home and am usually unsuccessful. We have very old, thread-bare, gross carpeting. We have four cats, a dog (used to be two until recently), and three young children bring in dirt constantly. I'm embarrassed by how dirty walking in my carpet makes people's feet/socks. So, I end up feeling like I have to warn them how dirty their white socks are going to end up if they don't keep their shoes on.

[Jill- OK]

...home church situation?

 

I think you could talk to everyone involved, and get their understanding, in a case like that, before it starts. (You're taking on most of the responsibility for a *group*, and it's a little different than a typical hostess situation, IMO, if a bunch of folks are making a joint decision to meet somewhere, regularly, and you're offering the place).

 

And as I said, if you're in a place with messy winters...they might expect it, anyway.

 

((Hugs)) to you...I feel for you, and I applaud your decision to bring your mom home and care for her.

[alpidarkomama]

Just one thing to consider... sometimes people have to wear shoes for health reasons. If my husband goes for one hour without wearing his really good shoes, he can suffer severe foot pain. You'd never guess it from looking at him that he has this difficult problem with his feet! Maybe there could be a note by the door, with an additional phrase welcoming people to wear their shoes if they need to do so for health reasons. :)

[Renthead Mommy]

You live in an Asian country. I would think that taking shoes off is just part of the deal.

 

No one keeps their shoes on here. I would have nasty mud prints everywhere!

 

It is if you go to resturants with the pit seating and the mat flooring. And especially if you go to a Japanese house. But the only Japanese that come to my house are maintenance workers. It's the regular old Americans!

 

And I do get nasty mud prints. The kids run around in crocs. Their feet get filthy in the crocs. Then either their feet sweat in the crocs or they played with water and just have wet feet in the crocs. They take the crocs off and I have dirty actual FEET prints on my kitchen floor. Granted mainly just kids that do that.

 

I just don't want to look at nasty feet! It's a thing. I know it is. I can't help it. I don't mind as much when people are wearing socks. And if you really want to take your shoes off to be more comfortable fine. But I'm not ASKING you to do it for me.

 

Plus to me, carpet is meant to be walked on and used. If it was meant to be pristine and beautiful, it's be installed on the ceiling where nothing could spill on it and it wouldn't get dirty.

[kewb]

I do think it is rude to blindside someone with that rule. I do not like taking my shoes off in other people's homes who I do not know well. If I was not expecting to stay there is a good chance I am not wearing socks or have holes in them or they are mismatched or my husbands.

 

Often dh has powder in his shoes which is then tracked all over.

[elegantlion]

I don't think it's rude, but I do think it would be to press the point with someone who refuses.

 

We take off our shoes here, we do it at several friends' homes so I'm kind of used to it.

[MIch elle]

so they will be prepared to take their shoes off. Maybe they can bring slippers.

[woolybear]

Not rude at all and very reasonable.

[Erica in PA]

I don't know that I'd consider it rude, because a person does have the right to make their own rules in their own house, but I wouldn't *like* having to take off my shoes in someone else's house. I don't feel comfortable in my socks in other people's homes.

[Parrothead]

Living where we do it is the norm to take off shoes in winter and during mud season. If you are somewhere like that I don't think asking or shoes off is rude.

[Heather in Savannah]

Canadians always take their shoes off when entering a house. I'm not sure the origins, but it sure does reduce the amount of carpet cleaning which has to be done. I'm living in the Southern USA, and it is unheard of to take your shoes off at the door, however, people catch on pretty quickly and now most of the people who come to our house take their shoes off. I've not asked them, but you might have to. What if you post a humorous sign which says something like, "Please remove your shoes, the maid is on strike"??

[Danestress]

I can't walk around in bare feet - not even for a few minutes, and not even on carpet. When I get up in the morning, I have to put on shoes with good arch support to go make coffee. I have gotten rid of almost all my old shoes because I only have one brand I've found that I can wear pain free, and I have a pair that I keep for wearing inside.

 

My kids take their shoes off inside, by the way. I also lived in Japan for a year with a Japanese family, and I loved the "no shoes" rule, though they do offer slippers to guests so that no one is without foot covering. I am a huge believer in keeping shoes off inside. But I could not do it unless I was going to sit on a sofa and not move. With 40 people, I doubt that's possible.

[GreenKitty]

how many of you would consider that rude?

 

We're going to start to open our home up to about 30 - 40 people every other week and I just can't have my wool area rug or carpeting on steps ruined. And since I'm caring for my invalid mother on top of homeschooling, I just can NOT take anymore work than necessary. Am I being selfish or rude?

 

If I were living just a normal, everyday life, what ever that means, would it be rude to ask people to remove their shoes upon entering?

 

I don't want to seem uninviting (most of these people are friends who WILL remove their shoes anyway) and I want to be hospitable.

 

Denise

 

 

I see it as very reasonable request.

 

You could set slippers by the door?

[mazakaal]

I don't think it's rude at all, but I'm sure some might. I haven't read all the other responses, so someone may have already suggested this, but maybe you could have some slippers available 'on loan' for those who may be uncomfortable (or cold) in their socked feet. In Moscow everyone took shoes off when they walked into someone's flat. And people always had spare pairs of slippers available for guests.

[Caroline]

I think it is a reasonable request, however I think it would be a good idea to warn people in advance. My mother has diabetes and has to be very protective of her feet. Warning her in advance would allow her to bring her slippers.

 

I admire you for taking care of your mom.

[mom2a&z]

I don't think it is rude, but I would let people know in advance. I cannot go without shoes for very long because of heel pain. I wear good shoes all day long in my house. However, the shoes I wear in my house, don't get worn outside. If I knew in advance that there was a no shoe policy, I would ask if I could wear my "indoor shoes".

 

I don't require guests to remove their shoes when they come over, but for dh and dc we have a no shoes policy in the house. But we also have a socks or slippers policy. We don't go around in bare feet. My hardwood floors have a shiny finish and are so hard to keep clean. Well you can imagine the toe and foot print problem. :001_smile:

[MomOfOneFunOne]

Well, I do think it's rude. I think it sends the message that you'll condescend to have me over but I wouldn't be worth any extra work to maintain the floor I'd walk on. It's the floor; that's what it's there for.

 

Now, in your situation I can understand you've got your hands full and don't feel you can keep up with the work of keeping the floor clean and keeping your mom cared for, et c. If you invited over, I'd offer to help clean up at the end of the meeting or something but if you really did mean for me to take off my shoes, I wouldn't come back for a second meeting. Lay out inexpensive mats or rugs or something. Have you ever read Cranford?

 

And for the record, it has absolutely nothing to do with hygiene: I bathe regularly and keep clean shoes and don't have stinky feet. It has nothing to do with ugly feet: my feet are about the only part of my body I'm completely happy with. It has nothing to do with embarrassing socks: I have a few but I only wear them around the house. Really, I just think it's rude to start asking people to partially disrobe b/c you may be inconvenienced by their presence. If someone thinks I'm too dirty to have in her home, I'd prefer she didn't invite me. Really.

 

Now, there are some exceptions. I can imagine a couple in which I would offer the option of removing shoes: she stepped in dog poo before reaching the door; she walked across the newly asphalted street to get to my house; something like that, I guess. Still, I wouldn't "require" it.

 

Yes, to answer your question I would actually find it rude. I'm sorry. I know that isn't the answer you wanted but I really would.

 

Sorry about your mom, btw.

[unsinkable]

Jill,

 

I appreciate your thoughts.

 

I live in New England, and wet winters are the norm. I also have wood floors which would be very slippery with wet shoes, but do NOT want the mess in my home anyway. Don't even get me started on mud season. :ohmy:

 

I am regularly hosting gatherings because my husband and I are feeling like we're done with the institutional church - or organized religion. That's a rant I'll save for a better time. Anyway, the plans were all in place and then something unexpected happened: I found out that my mother, incompacitated due to several diseases, was neglected to the point of dehydration, proper diet was not followed, medication not administered regularly, medical treatment for UTI ignored, this while living at a private pay facility which cost $7550 PER MONTH. My sister and I took my mother out of the facility Friday night, had her home Saturday and administered all meds, including those for UTI, and by Sunday had to have her taken to the ER by ambulance. She remained in the hospital for six days. Because of all that's taken place (she's ONLY 68 but has severe Lewy Body Dementia and can't speak for herself, has Parkinsons, diabetes and ulcerative colitis) I can't trust anyone with her care and have brought her home.

Sooooo, on one hand I feel guilty for having people over, and on the other hand - I will go CRAZY if I have to give up all of what I look forward to. I already feel guilt for the activities my homeschooled kids will miss but am also thankful for the valuable lessons they will learn while helping out with Nana.

 

I'm so sorry for this rant. I'm consumed with NUMEROUS thoughts.

 

Anyway, I can't take Mom to the gatherings elsewhere so I will have them here. Most homes aren't handicap accessible.

 

I also have the biggest home and it would work well here, but I do need everyone's shoes removed but HATE the thought of making people uncomfortable. :crying:

 

:grouphug: I am so sorry about your mom.

 

In this case, do what you have to do. Maybe you can have a basket of colorful, stretchy slipper socks for people to put on (the kind that you can wash, no slippers.) It might make those who are uncomfortable more comfortable.

 

Prayers for you and your mom.

[unsinkable]

Canadians always take their shoes off when entering a house. I'm not sure the origins, but it sure does reduce the amount of carpet cleaning which has to be done. I'm living in the Southern USA, and it is unheard of to take your shoes off at the door, however, people catch on pretty quickly and now most of the people who come to our house take their shoes off. I've not asked them, but you might have to. What if you post a humorous sign which says something like, "Please remove your shoes, the maid is on strike"??

 

If it's a Canadian thing, then it spread to Buffalo. :D

 

I have to beg people to keep their shoes on here. BEG. People are so used to taking there shoes off ot the door, their mouths hang open when I say don't worry about your shoes.

[Maria from IN]

Between the Reynaud's and the plantar fasciitis, I never take my shoes off in my own home, much less anyone else's. I suppose I wouldn't be offended if I was asked to remove them. I understand that some people always take their shoes off when entering a house, but I just can't. I would hope that I would be able to politely and succinctly explain my situation and then be allowed to keep them on.

:001_smile:

[dawn of ns]

Well, I do think it's rude. I think it sends the message that you'll condescend to have me over but I wouldn't be worth any extra work to maintain the floor I'd walk on. It's the floor; that's what it's there for.

 

Now, in your situation I can understand you've got your hands full and don't feel you can keep up with the work of keeping the floor clean and keeping your mom cared for, et c. If you invited over, I'd offer to help clean up at the end of the meeting or something but if you really did mean for me to take off my shoes, I wouldn't come back for a second meeting. Lay out inexpensive mats or rugs or something. Have you ever read Cranford?

 

And for the record, it has absolutely nothing to do with hygiene: I bathe regularly and keep clean shoes and don't have stinky feet. It has nothing to do with ugly feet: my feet are about the only part of my body I'm completely happy with. It has nothing to do with embarrassing socks: I have a few but I only wear them around the house. Really, I just think it's rude to start asking people to partially disrobe b/c you may be inconvenienced by their presence. If someone thinks I'm too dirty to have in her home, I'd prefer she didn't invite me. Really.

 

Now, there are some exceptions. I can imagine a couple in which I would offer the option of removing shoes: she stepped in dog poo before reaching the door; she walked across the newly asphalted street to get to my house; something like that, I guess. Still, I wouldn't "require" it.

 

Yes, to answer your question I would actually find it rude. I'm sorry. I know that isn't the answer you wanted but I really would.

 

Sorry about your mom, btw.

 

Around here it's considered rude to not take your shoes off. I have a hard time getting people to leave their shoes on (On carpet is horrible and getting torn up after we sell in a month).

 

Regardless, it's a cultural thing. When I walk into someone else's house I accept that I'm also being invited into their cultural world and may have to make some allowances. Sometimes that means toning down my language or making sure the kids are quiet or taking off/keeping on my shoes.

 

I don't think a request like that is something to be offended about.

[fivetails]

It's so weird for me to think about even *considering* keeping my shoes on in someone's house! :001_huh:

 

They're shoes. They're for outside! Slippers, socks, bare feet, etc are for inside. (excepting people with medical foot issues, of course) Shoes come off at the door and go on the little mat or rack or in a big box or whatever happens to be there.

 

Now and then in the summer, maybe...I'd run through the house in my crocs to grab something.... but the rest of the year, heck no. There'd be mud and snow and stuff tracked everywhere!

 

I would *never* expect to walk into someone's house and keep my shoes on! Would that ever feel weird. :001_huh:

[OnTheBrink]

1) No, I don't think it's rude, BUT to have that expectation of everyone, I think you should..

 

2) Provide disposable booties for the folks who can not take their shoes off, to wear over their shoes. You can get them at medical supply places. You can also get some of those gripper socks/slippers at the same place.

 

3) Make sure people know a head of time what's expected. I'd think more people would be taken aback at being surprised by your request, than the actual request itself. JMO, YMMV, yada yada yada.:tongue_smilie::001_smile:

[CalicoKat]

I usually have a smallish sign posted by my door (on the side window) asking people to remove their shoes. You could do that and dress it up with picture of an exhausted vintage housewife who's just finished mopping the floor.

 

Then I don't feel that I have to remind them to take them off. If they've left them on I assume there is a reason.

[Kelli in TN]

Through the years this topic has come up several times!!

 

I always voted that I think it is a bit much to require the removal of shoes when folks visit in your home. Some people are much more comfortable in their shoes and for me part of hospitality is making visitors as comfortable as I possibly can. So when folks come to my house they can take their shoes off or leave them on, whatever they wish.

 

I am very, very uncomfortable taking my shoes off at other people's houses. I do this for my dad and stepmom because they are family, but I would not go visit anyone else on a regular basis who had that rule.

[unsinkable]

Between the Reynaud's and the plantar fasciitis, I never take my shoes off in my own home, much less anyone else's. I suppose I wouldn't be offended if I was asked to remove them. I understand that some people always take their shoes off when entering a house, but I just can't. I would hope that I would be able to politely and succinctly explain my situation and then be allowed to keep them on.

:001_smile:

 

What do you do in sloppy weather? Bring an extra pair of shoes to change into?

 

I am just curious...you could walk right into my house with snow on your feet and I wouldn't care.

[unsinkable]

It's so weird for me to think about even *considering* keeping my shoes on in someone's house! :001_huh:

 

They're shoes. They're for outside! Slippers, socks, bare feet, etc are for inside. (excepting people with medical foot issues, of course) Shoes come off at the door and go on the little mat or rack or in a big box or whatever happens to be there.

 

Now and then in the summer, maybe...I'd run through the house in my crocs to grab something.... but the rest of the year, heck no. There'd be mud and snow and stuff tracked everywhere!

 

I would *never* expect to walk into someone's house and keep my shoes on! Would that ever feel weird. :001_huh:

 

Another fine Canadian gal.

 

Who'd be right at home in Buffalo. ;)

[teachermom2834]

I understand where you are coming from but I do think it can be awkward to insist and to even go so far as to put the shoe covers by the door. I can only imagine my father being asked to walk around a house looking silly with little paper covers on his shoes but he is very uncomfortable at my brother's house because he is required to take his shoes off. It's just not him. It's one of those things and he would likely not come back. Good guy, just a thing.

 

What I would do (and I know I'm in the minority) is set a mat for wiping shoes, set some shoes out by the door so it is implied, go shoeless yourself, ask the few friends you are really comfortable with (if any) to remove shoes to set an example of what you prefer, and then NOT SAY A WORD. I bet 80% of the people with take off their shoes so you aren't dealing with 40 pairs of shoes tracking through your house, just a few. You won't have put anyone out or had to make people explain medical conditions.

 

I do think sending a message out in advance that no shoes are allowed is very much your right but not at all hospitable. I would imply it and then grin and bear it. Someone might wear old socks the first week and not remove but remember it for the future and you haven't embarassed anyone.

 

Just my .02!

 

Marie

[fivetails]

It's so weird for me to think about even *considering* keeping my shoes on in someone's house! :001_huh:

 

They're shoes. They're for outside! Slippers, socks, bare feet, etc are for inside. (excepting people with medical foot issues, of course) Shoes come off at the door and go on the little mat or rack or in a big box or whatever happens to be there.

 

Now and then in the summer, maybe...I'd run through the house in my crocs to grab something.... but the rest of the year, heck no. There'd be mud and snow and stuff tracked everywhere!

 

I would *never* expect to walk into someone's house and keep my shoes on! Would that ever feel weird. :001_huh:

 

Another fine Canadian gal.

 

Who'd be right at home in Buffalo. ;)

 

:seeya:

 

 

I'm starting to wonder if the people who've said they'd find it rude, or that they wouldn't visit someone who expected this, just don't have bad weather where they live.....I can't imagine anyone coming in my house right now and expecting to tromp all over the house in their snow covered boots! :001_huh:

[Nestof3]

I don't find it rude, but I personally hate doing it. I'm okay in the winter when I have knee high socks on, but in the summer, my feet stink. I wear sandals all the time, and I really hate being embarassed by the smell.

 

I also cannot stand to walk barefoot because any crumbs or wet spots really gross me out when I step on them. I have a pair of house flip flops I wear around here much of the time.

 

If it were a friend of mine who wanted me to do this, I'd rather just bring a pair of slip-ons that I only wear when there.

[Nestof3]

I can't imagine anyone coming in my house right now and expecting to tromp all over the house in their snow covered boots!

 

Yep, it hasn't really snowed here in years. We don't even own snow boots. If I lived somewhere like that, I'd probably change into some slipons upon entering as I wouldn't want to wear snow boots any longer than necessary.

[bkpan]

I guess I'm in the minority. I ALWAYS take my shoes off when entering a house - mine or anyone else's. That's just me - I hate shoes! However, I would never expect guests to take thier shoes off if they didn't want to. I would never ask them to do so. I agree that most won't mind. But I also KNOW that some will, and THAT is what I could not abide. I could not abide making someone feel uncomfortable when they were invited to my home. Actually, If you just said, "Feel free to take your shoes off and be comfortable.", I think most would. The ones who don't, probably have thier reasons, but it wouldn't be that many and probably wouldn't be that big of a "mess".

 

I personally don't consider my carpet very important, so I don't get that angle of your problem. But the above suggestion might mitigate things just enough to be acceptable to you without making anyone embarassed.

:iagree:

 

ETA I dont believe I would be offended if someone asked me to remove my shoes, but Im afraid that I would assume that the hostess is terribly concerned about things, more so than people. If I was in your situation, I might perhaps leave all the hints I could by the door, but I would never request that someone remove their shoes. HTH.

Edited February 8, 2009 by bkpan
more thoughts.

[TraceyS/FL]

We are a shoes on house.... depending on what shoes my kids are wearing outside - you would really prefer their shoes over the feet.

 

This is the best picture i have at the moment of what i deal with.... she is crying because her feet are dirty. Note, this is CLEAN compared to how they all 3 normally look after being outside playing. This child does take her shoes off at every turn. I can't keep shoes & socks on her, hates them. So she is normally scrubbing her feet multiple times a day. I can relate to the gripes about the Croc feet. They are dirt magnets, and we have lots of dirt around here.

 

And no, i've never lived where i had snow boots and such to contend with. I'd like to think in that case i'd use some common sense and take them off - and i'd not walk across them in my house either. STBXH takes his work boots off at the door.

 

To the OP - i'd be sure to let everyone know ahead of time. I'd need to work something out because like others, i can't go barefoot for medical reasons.

 

[Nestof3]

Oh, what I find annoying is people living in the country who have no paved walking areas. We park in the grass, walk through the mud, arrive at the doorstep, and there's no mat to wipe our shoes on. If we take our shoes off, we step on mud and stuff from the family members who don't take their shoes off, and if we keep them on, we track more mud onto the floor.

 

We keep towels in our van for cases such as these. The boys remove their shoes upon entering the van. I am just as careful about houses. I would not allow anyone in my family to enter someone's house with muddy shoes, but I am not a germophobe. If I were, I would never allow my children to play in the dirt.