TYSM RootAnn That comparison is really heplpful :)

Anyone??

Wondering if it would be redundant to teach First Form after finishing Lively Latin. Thanks!

Thank you for this. At first I read it and thought that I had done all of this, but then I reread it and realized that I had not been working with him at this level for some time. I have been so frustrated and burned-out with nagging this child to get his work done, that my emotions are definitely getting in the way. He is the oldest of 6dc, and I had hoped that he would be fairly independent at this point, but the reality is that he resents all my attempts to manage his time and yet he continues to try to get a weeks worth of work done the night before kind of kid. This has NOT been working for him (obviously), but 2 years later he refuses to work differently. When I insist on a structured, organized day, he often resists to the point of constant battles, and I am so tired. We do not have TV, video games, etc. so the distractions are more like books and sulking in his room. So I am looking for BTDT stories. Anyone have this kid and now have a healthy, educated, well-rounded grown son? Anyone? Please?? TYTY Kim

I would really like to hear some ideas and opinions from moms who have had similar experiences with their dc. Ds is a freshman this year and has little motivation to do his school work on a daily basis. He is in a tutorial that he LOVES and I give him several subjects to complete for me. The problem is this. He is a very bright kid that does not think that he has the willpower to do the work he needs to do when he feels like doing something else. I have talked to a number of successful parents of high schoolers and there seem to be two main camps. Those that recommend close monitoring of a struggling student like taking away privileges and restrictions until there is successful completion of the work. Other parents feel that natural consequences are best and it is good training for high schoolers to be fully hands off, other than supportive conversations and help when asked. They feel that you do not serve a young adult by holding their hands and that failure is a natural teacher. Since I can see the logic in both positions, I would love to hear what has or has not worked for some of you. I know that it is not unusual to have a 15 yo boy who is irresponsible with his work, so I assume that this situation might be familiar to some of you. How did you respond and why? Did things eventually work out? Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Kim

I have had 5 births, six babies. My very BEST and most wonderful birth was my water birth. It was in a jacuzzi tub at a birth center attended by a midwife. It was my 40th bday and the difference between that birth and my others, which were some birth center and some hospital, was amazing. As someone else said, I had the jets on my back and that pressure helped a lot. The noise of the jets was a distraction and soothing. The water along with dim lighting, candles, etc. was relaxing and hubby was in the water with me. Did you know that you can wait until your body pushes the baby out itself? IOW, I asked my mw to not tell me when to push, but to allow my body to push the baby out when it was the right time. It was AMAZING. I dont think that I would have been able to relax enough to wait until my body was ready if I had not been in the water. If I could start over, I think that I would have had all of my babies (except the twins probably) in the water :001_smile: Kim

Honestly, my first thought is that she really sounds like a normal 10yo (sorry!). Our kids are born with a variety of strengths and weaknesses that is different for each child. Our job as parents is to discover those strengths and really support and build them up in those areas, and to be patient and forgiving with the weaknesses, remember that our own are also a struggle. The child that is so different from us is always the most difficult because we just cannot get WHY this child cannot be more like (fill in the blank). It is foreign to us and probably an area that comes naturally or easily for us. I have one son, especially, that I struggle with in this area. One day I realized that my negative attitude toward him - always focusing on the areas that he needed to improve - was really damaging our relationship, and his opinion of himself. IOW, I was making the problems even worse! Each child needs to feel our approval and pride in the areas that they ARE strong in. The more that they can trust in our love and respect of them, usually the harder they will try to keep up those good qualities, and hopefully they will also trust more in our loving criticism in areas. I know that it is hard and that it is a struggle. I eventually had to put my one son in school to preserve our relationship so I could do a better job at being his champion instead of the one tearing him down. The distance helped me to see him with fresh eyes - to remember that he DOES have some really beautiful qualities that I had stopped recognizing. He needed to hear from me that I was proud of him. It IS hard. :grouphug:

If counselors, therapists, attorneys, etc. were required to report ALL illegal activity then no one would seek help or assistance.

Yes this. I strongly believe that childrens' personality have much to do with this. We ended up having six dc and believe me, there is a vast difference in behavior that I end up with depending on who I have out with me in public. Same parents with the same house rules, but very different kids. The good result is that I do not tend to judge other people's parenting skills based solely on their kids' behavior (unless the parents are screaming or acting out with little self-control of their own). I have learned that the same kids who get the great compliments from strangers, in another venue could inspire some nasty looks. It has given me more empathy for other parents. I would guess a ratio of around 75% nature and 25% nuture. Kim

:bigear::bigear:

I remember this being discussed on here a while back (when I really did not need it):glare: Now, I want to find out how to monitor my kids' cell phone - I think that there was a way to control when they use it, how to stop texts from going over a limit and ESPECIALLY allowing the parent to read the texts. Anyone have any experience in this? Thanks!

You said that this is a long-term, close friendship. That the two of you are dear to one another. Those are rare, and not easily replaced. I understand your lonely feelings and it would sting to read of how seemingly wonderful and happy her life has been. But everyone has dark and desperate years. Your friend admits that she did not know how to reach out to you. Accept that she has that weakness, and then maybe you can recall all of the things about her, including your history together, that make her dear to you. If it were me, I would write her back an equally long letter probably, and make it a really honest letter. I would tell her of the good things that had happened in my life and I would share the sorrow, maybe mentioning how much it would have meant to me if more people had reached out to me during that time. Above all, I would thank her for her desire to reconnect with me and the long letter which communicates how important I am to her. Give her a chance to respond. Friendships such as this really are precious. Kim

You are right that blood thinners are serious, BUT, they prescribe that because whenever your heart is out-of-rhythm for any length of time your stroke risk increases. That really scared me. I took the blood thinners, had a cardiac ablation and eventually needed to come off of the thinners because of side effects. I could do that because my pressure also is low, but my doctor keeps me on the low-dose aspirin to be safe. I hope that you will follow up your ER visit and find a good cardiologist to manage your care. Kim

:iagree: I have to agree and I was having similar thoughts reading so many of these responses. Actually, they make me sad and apprehensive about getting older and having grandchildren. We also have 6 kids and when I think of how hard it is to always try to be just and fair with all of the kids, and they all still live with us, yikes! I get nervous trying to imagine how to keep all of them, their future spouses, all of the future grandchildren, etc. happy and feeling as if there are no favorites. Really, as I get older it is so much more obvious how our own insecurities, biases, and yes, plain self-centeredness colors our perceptions. When I read the OP I really imagined some good-hearted parents trying to care for a neglected little girl, being worn out by it, and chances are, doing the best that they can. Many of our parents are simply imperfect people trying to live their lives and love their children and their families and doing an imperfect job of it. But, sometimes it is hard just to do enough for people. Where is the grace? It is really hard to get older and lose much of your ability and energy that you once had. Society used to ask what can we (the children and grandchildren) do for our aging parents? How can we best care for them? So often on these boards the question seems to be only what can my older parents do for me and mine? To the OP - I do not mean to be insensitive. I am sorry for your hurt feelings and I definitely know the desire to have our parents be MORE in our lives and in our childrens lives. It just hit me one day that I really was trying to hold my parents and others to a standard that I doubt that I would be able to attain at their age. At that point, I stopped having all of these unrealistic expectations of my family, started initiating more, and trying to notice and celebrate the rarer but precious moments of closeness with my folks. HTH

When I finally went to see my cardiologist I had a normal EKG, stress test and ultrasound. It was not until I wore the 24hr holter that he confirmed my atrial fibrillation. I would call your cardiologist and explain that your palpitations are constant and causing you anxiety. He may suggest that you go to the ER for a cardioversion to get them under control. I am sorry. That really is an uncomfortable feeling! Kim