"Secret" recipes

[Hoggirl]

Do you have recipes that you do not share with anyone?

 

I have never withheld a recipe from ANYONE who asked me for one, but I have one friend who has a "secret" cake recipe that she won't share, and it bugs the %$#@ out of me! She makes me one of the cakes every year for Christmas, but she never gives out the recipe to anybody!!!

 

I am just curious if it is common to have a "secret" recipe.

 

I wish I knew how to do a poll, but I am too "stoopid."

[Miss Peregrine]

That annoys me too. I always give recipes out when people ask.

[Happy]

What I dislike are those who will 'share' a recipe, but write it down wrong. You ruin all your ingredients. :glare: If ya don't want to share, say so.

 

Dh and I have gotten pretty good at duplicating recipes we taste.

[OnTheBrink]

I am the opposite. I'm always happy to share a recipe. I think "secret recipes" are silly, unless it's something you're making to sell and you don't want the competition or you're entering it in the Pillsbury Bake-Off or something.

[Pretty in Pink]

Um....no. I only wish I cooked well enough to have coveted, secret recipes!:lol:

[dangermom]

IME it's something that mostly older people do. I've hardly ever known anyone under 50 to do it, and it seems to me to be a cultural thing that is dying a deserved death. Perhaps now that home cooking is a dying art, good cooks are realizing that they should share! ;)

 

I remember once in college one of the other students' moms was helping at a church dinner, and she had brought delicious rolls and that ambrosia salad. Several students asked for the recipes and she refused everyone, saying it was a family secret recipe. Way to encourage the newbie cooks, mom!

[abbeyej]

I always tell when asked, but really, I think you should just let it go! Your friend has a special recipe that is *her* thing. So what? There are a jillion other cake recipes out there that you can use, and she feels a special attachment to this one. Let her have it. Let it be her thing. Find a favorite cake recipe of your own.

 

As to people writing recipes down wrong... Maybe they're not doing it on purpose? I've certainly never had anyone do something like that, but I also know that I cook from "feel" so much that it's hard for me to go back and write down a recipe. I don't use standard measures very often, so if I write down a recipe for someone, I'm stuck guessing at certain things.

 

But really... Yes, share recipes. But have some charity towards people who don't. For whatever reason, it's a special thing to them...

[Hillary in KS]

I am happy to share all my recipes, except one.

 

Every year I make homemade chocolate fudge sauce at Christmas and give it out to friends, teachers, family, dh's co-workers, etc. This recipe I keep, because it's used as a gift and people look forward to getting it.

 

Now that I think about it, though, I have given it away once. When we lived in Boise, one of our friends *loved* the chocolate sauce. When our family moved away, I left the recipe with them so they could keep making it. So I guess I'm not *too* anal.

 

I think you just need to let it go. Appreciate the cake you get, and be thankful of the time she took to make it. There are hundreds of cakes you can enjoy the rest of the year. If she wants to keep hers a special thing, why deprive her of something that gives her pleasure. :)

[Tap]

I don't but I don't blame people who do. Especially one's who are invited to a lot of potlucks with the same people. It is nice if you have one dish that you can bring that is unique and you know people will look forward to. If you give out the recipe you won't know if someone else is bringing the same dish.

 

I make homemade black bean and chicken salsa. I always get asked for the recipe and I will give it out, but it is hard to explain how much a handful of cilantro is and a 'pour' of salt. It will tell people that I will write out the approximate ingredients but also tell them that it probably will need a lot of adjustments.

[Cindyg]

The lady who made the groom's cake at my wedding 21 years ago was known for her chocolate groom's cake. It was like nothing anybody had ever had anywhere else. You can't even imagine how good it was. She was a professional caterer, so I totally understand her need to keep that recipe to herself.

 

However, she must be in her late 70s now. Twenty one years later and I still think about that cake. It'd be a real shame for her to take it to her grave. (No, I don't know her to ask her for it. However, I'm going to be in her town for Christmas, if she still lives there; perhaps I should inquire.)

Edited December 19, 2008 by Cindyg

[Carol in Cal.]

I think that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

 

But, I don't always cook to a recipe, and some things I make are so approximate and adjustable that when people ask me for the recipe I don't know what to say. My mom gets furious when a recipe is not *exact*; even the phrase 'salt to taste' sets her off. I don't cater to people like that. If it's an approximate proportion of leeks to potatoes that works in that recipe, depending on how late in the season and therefore strong the leeks are, then so be it. They won't be happy with a 'written out' version of that kind of recipe about 70% of the time anyway, so sometimes I do just say that it is so approximate that I can't really write it down, but that they can come over and watch me make it sometime. Then they never do, and I suspect that some of them secretly accuse me of having withheld the recipe or something like that.

 

My GM had a chocolate cake recipe that her children loved, that no one else could make. They watched her make it, and it turned out great, and they could not duplicate it for love or money. The baking powder that she used stopped being made, and they searched antique shows to find additional cans so that she would keep making it. But they never figured it out. I think that a lot of doughy recipes are like that--more of an apprenticeship than a recipe is required, and even then it's not certain whether you'll pick it up.

[Nicole M]

What I dislike are those who will 'share' a recipe, but write it down wrong. You ruin all your ingredients. :glare: If ya don't want to share, say so.

 

Dh and I have gotten pretty good at duplicating recipes we taste.

 

Recently I heard a long, convoluted story about a mother in law who wrote down and recipe wrong, but then also put some incorrect spice in a spice jar for her DIL as well. It was so outrageous, I couldn't even track the whole, ridiculous story -- though it was a true story. It was one of those odd things, now everywhere I turn I hear stories about women writing down recipes wrong on purpose. Man. Puts a whole new spin on passive-aggressive, doesn't it?

 

Here's something to consider: it might be better that you don't know. A friend once shared a recipe with me for a dish that I loved, and when I found out what was in it, I nearly died. All kinds of garbage I would never put in my body. Now I can hardly look at the stuff.

 

I agree that you should let it go. It's petty, and a power trip to not share, but, heck. If she needs that to feel better about herself or whatever, let her have it.

[OnTheBrink]

Recently I heard a long, convoluted story about a mother in law who wrote down and recipe wrong, but then also put some incorrect spice in a spice jar for her DIL as well. It was so outrageous, I couldn't even track the whole, ridiculous story -- though it was a true story. It was one of those odd things, now everywhere I turn I hear stories about women writing down recipes wrong on purpose. Man. Puts a whole new spin on passive-aggressive, doesn't it?

 

 

 

This was actually a plot in an episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond."

[lighthouseacademy]

I don't care unless the person makes a big deal of not sharing it. I have a friend whose father is of Italian decent. They have a tomato sauce recipe that has been handed down in the family. She has always made a huge deal of this secret family recipe that is never to be shared with anyone outside the family. She was so happy that she married her husband because she could share it with him (but not his mother). I had never had the sauce and thought it was an odd thing to brag about. Anyway, fast forward a few years. I had the sauce and it was ho hum LOL and she still made a HUGE deal about how special this recipe was and how it can never be shared with anyone except family. :001_huh: whatever. I will take my dad's tomato sauce recipe over hers any day! LOL

[Kanga]

I am a recipe sharer and I love receiving recipes from friends. We move every couple of years and every time I use a recipe I received from a friend I remember them fondly. I have met a couple of people who do not share recipes over the years. However, I have found that it is pretty easy to duplicate recipes that people won't share now that there are so many online recipe sites. Type in key words on one of the sites you might find the exact recipe, or perhaps one that you like even better.

[Nicole M]

This was actually a plot in an episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond."

 

Oh! Oh, thank you. That makes much more sense. My friend must have been telling me about the show, though she did also show me an incorrect recipe at the same time. There were 8 children in her tiny house at the time, total bedlam, and I was having a hard time following the story.

 

The bottle switching doesn't seem like something a real person would do. But I have now heard of several women who have received incorrect recipes. Still, passive aggressive, but not totally sicko.

[Annie Laurie]

My GM had a chocolate cake recipe that her children loved, that no one else could make. They watched her make it, and it turned out great, and they could not duplicate it for love or money. The baking powder that she used stopped being made, and they searched antique shows to find additional cans so that she would keep making it. But they never figured it out. I think that a lot of doughy recipes are like that--more of an apprenticeship than a recipe is required, and even then it's not certain whether you'll pick it up.

 

Very true. My great grandmother made the best scones. We have the recipe but no none of us (my mother, grandmother, my aunts, or myself), can get them to turn out the same way.

[Heather in Neverland]

I only have one that I don't share...everything else is up for grabs.

[AuntieM]

What I dislike are those who will 'share' a recipe, but write it down wrong. You ruin all your ingredients. :glare: If ya don't want to share, say so.

 

 

 

I can't imagine she'd do it on purpose, but things just don't always come out the same! And when she asks me for a recipe, she makes me go over and over it, like she's suspecting *me* of leaving something out!

 

I am happy to share my recipes, mostly because all my best dishes are from recipes given to me by others!

[Hoggirl]

I mean, I have to. I KNOW she is never going to give it out. I have done some googling, and I think I have found one that must be awfully close. I'm going to try it when we get back from the in-laws.

 

She does like to give the cake to everyone as gifts for Christmas, and it IS her potluck thing. I have vowed to never use it outside of my own home, but she still won't give it to me (or anyone else). She did move away for a couple of years, although not out of state, but then she moved back. I guess I probably shouldn't wish for my friend to move away in hopes of getting a recipe, should I? :o

 

Early on when I had met her, she had asked for a recipe of mine, saying she hoped it wasn't a "secret" recipe. I laughed and told her I always gave out recipes and that it drove me crazy when people didn't. She just quietly smiled. I found out why later when I asked her for hers! She said she anticipated a "problem" when I had made that comment earlier on in our friendship. :lol:

 

I probably shouldn't have used the "mean" smilie in my thread title. It really is a long-running joke between her and many of us friends. On top of it, my dh has said he doesn't even think it is that great. :lol:

[LisaKinVA]

I wouldn't say it's a secret, but it's not written down anywhere. I'm one of those, "hmm, I wonder what this would do to the flavor" cooks.

 

Sometimes, I don't measure, I guesstimate, and mix to taste. So, I honestly don't have a "true" recipe to hand out. I usually do this with recipes I've used for years.

 

For example, my fruit salad dressing has changed a LOT since I began making it as a teen ager. And, this Christmas, I'm going to change it up a little more just for the holidays.

 

If I have one, I share it though.

[PariSarah]

IME it's something that mostly older people do. I've hardly ever known anyone under 50 to do it, and it seems to me to be a cultural thing that is dying a deserved death.

 

. . . and made a big deal of asking me not to share them with anyone else. Even though all of them are either from standard, classic recipe books (Joy of Cooking, Betty Crocker), or from the back of the box, KWIM? The one that was particularly funny was when she finally shared Aunt Shirley's secret recipe for crabcakes--which I had known for years, because Aunt Shirley put it on the back of both her crabmeat and her Old-Bay-clone seasoning. So, anybody that buys crabmeat from Costco is making the same d@mn crabcakes, but it's still a secret recipe.

 

I never understood, until that summer I spent digitizing advertisements from old women's magazines--McCalls, Ladies Home Journal, that kind of thing. Then I realized what a competitive art homemaking became in the thirties, forties, and fifties. Some of our grandmothers and mothers just grew up with the idea that having secret recipes meant they were taking better care of their families than other people were. And since, for some of them, taking care of their families was the ONLY thing they were praised for. . .

 

So, yeah, I definitely think it's generational, and will hopefully die a deserved death.

 

Although, truth be told, I *do* tend to alter the spices (doubling the ginger and halving the cinnamon, say, or adding nutmeg when it only calls for cinnamon, or some such) in baked goods, and if I share the recipe, I share the original, not my refinements. So maybe I'm a little "guilty" myself. ;)

[Cinder]

I'll share . . . even my fabulous sticky bun recipe that I cut out of a magazine years ago. It's so yummy that we've used it to gift some friends with. But being that it's so labor intensive I don't think any who got the recipe from me have made them.

 

Years ago we were at a Christmas social at a new friend's house. She had some chocolate balls on a plate and I asked her what was in them. I didn't want to get surprised by a coconut center--blech! She told me she didn't share recipes. OooooKay. So I took my chances. Turns out it was just a buckeye. Sheesh.

 

Cinder

[Jennifer in MI]

My "secrets" are only secrets because I use shortcuts that I don't want to admit!! LOL My fudge is to die for! And, my pie crusts are amazing!!! I guess if people really push me though, I'd share.

[nmoira]

My best friend has a secret shortbread recipe. It's a family secret, and making the cookies with her mother or grandmother is one of only a handful of nostalgic memories she has. I don't begrudge her her secret for a second.

[Julie in CA]

And I say this as one who makes specialty desserts for a local restaurant, caters, and would share any recipe I have. What I think is very sad is when "secret" family recipes die off with their original owners. Those of you who won't share recipes should be tarred and feathered. Ok, not really, but you should be *really* ashamed of yourselves!

 

Actually, I feel really great about giving out my recipes(even my restaurant specialties, catering specialties, and items I regularly gift), mostly because I know that it sometimes makes someone's day a bit better to receive a recipe, but also:

1.)It's unlikely to an extreme that someone is actually going to try and make the recipe. For the most part recipes go home with someone and are never made.

2.)If they did try to make the recipe, they wouldn't have a routine for making it and would find it to be a pain in the backside. For me they're easy because I make them all the time.

3.)I'm making the world a better (yummier) place when someone does actually make one of my recipes and it turns out well.

4.)Even if folks made one of my recipes and it turned out well, it doesn't cut down on their enjoyment of that recipe when I make it for them. In other words, people whom I've actually taught to make desserts still love coming into the restaurant and ordering them. If anthing, it increases their appreciation of what I've made.

 

Honestly, if a friend refused steadfastly to share a recipe with me, I'd think they were totally selfish and I probably wouldn't spend much time nurturing the friendship.

[Karenciavo]

Get a piece and bring it to a chemist to get analyzed and then make a bunch next year and pass it out to everyone with the recipe.

[hornblower]

.I never understood, until that summer I spent digitizing advertisements from old women's magazines--McCalls, Ladies Home Journal, that kind of thing. Then I realized what a competitive art homemaking became in the thirties, forties, and fifties. Some of our grandmothers and mothers just grew up with the idea that having secret recipes meant they were taking better care of their families than other people were. And since, for some of them, taking care of their families was the ONLY thing they were praised for. . .

 

 

I was just going to say the same thing. Well not the digitizing adverts thing :D but really, there was a time and place where cooking and housekeeping became competitive artforms. It was the only recognition a woman would sometimes receive - oh, Susan! she's famous for her coconut cake! Nobody makes it like her! And that was it, that was Susan's achievement in life - a coconut cake that nobody else knew the recipe for. Add 'the way to a man's heart is through his stomach' +

'there is no better role than being a wife' repeated several thousand times and presto, you get a secret recipe keeper.

 

I suspect there might be # on this board who have not outed themselves :lol:

 

As an aside, my kids have been watching the old Dick van Dyke show (which, btw, is one of the few old shows which has aged well; it really is still mostly very funny) and Laura gives her neighbour Millie a recipe and 'accidentally' forgets an ingredient.

 

I do give out recipes - including old and precious recipes - like the one I posted on my blog recently about the cookies my great aunt used to make. http://hmsindefatigable.blogspot.com/2008/12/horse-cookies.html

 

And on a similar but different topic - I knew a woman who would not ask for a recipe even when she wanted it. Instead, she'd try to replicate it, which would be fine if she were a good cook but I don't think she's really up to the task. I'd later find out from her husband who would ask me & say "She tried to make that dessert like you do but it didn't turn out. How do you do it?" and she'd be sitting there looking very uncomfortable. :001_huh: She seemed really upset that her dh would like something someone else made and I think she was too proud to ask for recipes...... Weird, huh?

[Julie in CA]

My best friend has a secret shortbread recipe. It's a family secret, and making the cookies with her mother or grandmother is one of only a handful of nostalgic memories she has. I don't begrudge her her secret for a second.

I just do not understand how knowing that somewhere out in the world someone else may be making shortbread detracts from her experience. It defies logic.

[H.S. Burrow]

Recently I heard a long, convoluted story about a mother in law who wrote down and recipe wrong, but then also put some incorrect spice in a spice jar for her DIL as well. It was so outrageous, I couldn't even track the whole, ridiculous story -- though it was a true story. It was one of those odd things, now everywhere I turn I hear stories about women writing down recipes wrong on purpose. Man. Puts a whole new spin on passive-aggressive, doesn't it?

 

 

 

:lol:This was also on an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond! I find it hysterical.

 

I do share *my* recipes. There are a couple that I have that are not really mine to share. So if someone wants it, I check with the person that gave it to me and if it's ok with them, I share it.

 

I also completely agree with the poster who mentioned pot-lucks. Our former church has breakfast the 2nd Sunday of every month. When it was our turn to cook, I always made a breakfast casserole that was different from everyone elses. Everyone wanted the recipe - and they all promised not to bring it to church. :lol: I did share the recipe, but after I did, we had that same casserole EVERY SUNDAY BREAKFAST because everyone made it.:glare:

 

 

 

Maybe if you described the cake for us, someone here knows the recipe.

[St. Theophan Academy]

I have a friend who has secret recipes - because she is in catering, she rarely shares any of her recipes. The worst though, is I know an older lady who will give you a recipe when you ask, but she leaves out a key ingredient or instruction, insuring that your version will never be as good!

 

The only recipes I have ever kept secret are a few cake recipes because for years I was in the wedding cake business, so I did not share recipes I used in business with anyone outside my family. But when you are in business, it is rare for anyone to ask for the recipes, so that was rarely ever an issue.

[nmoira]

 

I just do not understand how knowing that somewhere out in the world someone else may be making shortbread detracts from her experience. It defies logic.

That's not the way she looks at it. It's her not divulging the secret that is important. She doesn't give a whit if someone else is using the same recipe (and in all probability someone is); she has promised her grandmother to keep it secret. It is something that is hers, her family's, something she can pass down to her children, one of the few bonds she feels with her grandmother in particular. It might seem silly to you, but so be it.

[Tammyla]

I'm not a secret kind of girl. However, I use a recipe a few times then wing it there after. So...when I say a handful, a good pour or a pinch...it's hard to write them down unless I kept the original. Anyone is welcome in my kitchen and I've had a friend re-measure what I thew in the bowl using standard measuring instruments:D Her cornbread still wont come out like mine though.

[PariSarah]

She does like to give the cake to everyone as gifts for Christmas, and it IS her potluck thing

 

Well, that explains it.

 

Church potlucks, right?

 

Oh, honey, just give up. There's rules about potlucks, you know, and rules concerning desserts are strictest.

 

Now, if y'all lived down here, in the South, your friend probably wouldn't have been allowed to have a cake be her potluck "thing," because no one under the age of sixty is even allowed to BRING dessert to potlucks.

 

If you've been an adult in the church congregation for fewer than ten years, you are to bring a substantial main course. Between ten and twenty years, you are allowed to bring a side dish. You have to be a long-term member, AND over the age of forty-five, AND a Southerner for at least three generations before you're allowed to bring fried chicken. You must be over sixty, AND a grandmother (step-grandmothers are allowed, but only if they helped raise the child that bore the grandchild), AND be the daughter of a family that have been members of that church for two generations or more, AND be in the choir or on the Altar Guild before you're allowed to bring dessert.

 

If you want that dessert to be banana pudding, you better be a leading member of the Ruritan club and either the matriarch of the church or the direct descendant of a former matriarch of the church. A maximum of three women per church are permitted to bring banana pudding, and only the most senior of these is allowed to bring it every time.

 

Males over the age of forty are allowed to violate any of these rules save the banana pudding rule by developing a "specialty" (fried chicken, say, or ice cream pie or cole slaw), which no one else is allowed to bring, even if she would not be in violation of any other rule by bringing it.

 

If a few men band together and develop the specialty of barbecuing (bringing their own barbecue pit and everything), no one is allowed to bring any other meat dish, and those whose age and seniority would normally dictate that they bring a main course should bring, instead, a substantial side, like potato casserole or pasta salad. The man who donates a barbecue pit to the church, for its exclusive use, must be present every time it is used, and is consulted at every stage of the procedure.

Edited December 19, 2008 by PariSarah

[Hoggirl]

Well, that explains it.

 

Church potlucks, right?

 

Oh, honey, just give up. There's rules about potlucks, you know, and rules concerning desserts are strictest.

 

Now, if y'all lived down here, in the South, your friend probably wouldn't have been allowed to have a cake be her potluck "thing," because no one under the age of sixty is even allowed to BRING dessert to potlucks.

 

If you've been an adult in the church congregation for fewer than ten years, you are to bring a substantial main course. Between ten and twenty years, you are allowed to bring a side dish. You have to be a long-term member, AND over the age of forty-five, AND a Southerner for at least three generations before you're allowed to bring fried chicken. You must be over sixty, AND a grandmother (step-grandmothers are allowed, but only if they helped raise the child that bore the grandchild), AND be the daughter of a family that have been members of that church for two generations or more, AND be in the choir or on the Alter Guild before you're allowed to bring dessert.

 

If you want that dessert to be banana pudding, you better be a leading member of the Ruritan club and either the matriarch of the church or the direct descendant of a former matriarch of the church. A maximum of three women per church are permitted to bring banana pudding, and only the most senior of these is allowed to bring it every time.

 

Males over the age of forty are allowed to violate any of these rules save the banana pudding rule by developing a "specialty" (fried chicken, say, or ice cream pie or cole slaw), which no one else is allowed to bring, even if she would not be in violation of any other rule by bringing it.

 

If a few men band together and develop the specialty of barbecuing (bringing their own barbecue pit and everything), no one is allowed to bring any other meat dish, and those whose age and seniority would normally dictate that they bring a main course should bring, instead, a substantial side, like potato casserole or pasta salad. The man who donates a barbecue pit to the church, for its exclusive use, must be present every time it is used, and is consulted at every stage of the procedure.

 

I am a Southerner, and this is so true and absolutely hysterical!:lol:

 

Seriously, you should submit this to a magazine or something!

[Hoggirl]

:)

 

too funny!

[Oak Knoll Mom]

 

I also completely agree with the poster who mentioned pot-lucks. Our former church has breakfast the 2nd Sunday of every month. When it was our turn to cook, I always made a breakfast casserole that was different from everyone elses. Everyone wanted the recipe - and they all promised not to bring it to church. :lol: I did share the recipe, but after I did, we had that same casserole EVERY SUNDAY BREAKFAST because everyone made it.:glare:

 

:iagree: A friend came up with a wonderful chicken casserole recipe based off of our favorite pizza toppings at a local pizza joint and she gave out the recipe to anyone who asked. Now everyone makes it...at least they call it J***'s casserole. :D

[AuntieM]

You have perfectly described my southern family! And my Alabama-Mississippi church families!

 

The banana pudding thing - matriarch indeed!!!! My granny was the Matron of Banana Pudding until she went into a retirement home. Then it fell to the oldest daughter. Now that she is mentally slipping but still fiesty, she doesn't make it but no one else dares to bring it! The same could be said for the Hummingbird Cake, y'know. The new brides, *if* they bring a dessert, have to stick with chess pie.

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: You have left me gasping with giggles! Thanks for the trip down memory lane.

 

Honestly, I think you need to use your post and submit it as a back-page article to Southern Living magazine....

 

ETA: Hoggirl, we were typing at the same time!

[Hoggirl]

and I KNOW it starts with a butter cake mix 'cause you can tell by the color/texture!

 

Until my search last night, all the ones that I had found were NOT it - they were of the soaking variety (like a rum cake) where you pour on cups of buttery syrup after it has baked and there is no glaze. Hers has a glaze on it that I can tell also has sherry in it, but it is really "transparent", so I think it must have regular sugar in it. The ones I have seen have powdered sugar in the glaze. Can you get "sheer" glaze with powdered sugar? But the glaze isn't sugary/grainy, so I don't know.

 

Anyway, I found a recipe last night that has to be close b/c you pour some of the glaze on the bottom of the cake before removing it from the pan. Hers also has glaze all over it (top and bottom), so I am going to try that particular recipe.

 

There isn't any nutmeg in it either, which many recipes for sherry cake seem to have.

 

It's just an OBSESSION thing! A CONTROL thing! A COVETOUS thing! SHE has it, and I WANT it! :D

[Oak Knoll Mom]

You have perfectly described my southern family!

 

The funny thing is that my family is as southern as southern gets and none of them would dare refuse a request for a recipe. It would just be plain rude.

 

On the other hand, the passive aggressive technique of messing up the recipe is right up their alley. :D

 

(My family has a problem with me, though, because I shoot straight and refuse to lie just to be polite.)

[Rhonda in TX]

Well, that explains it.

 

Church potlucks, right?

 

Oh, honey, just give up. There's rules about potlucks, you know, and rules concerning desserts are strictest.

 

Now, if y'all lived down here, in the South, your friend probably wouldn't have been allowed to have a cake be her potluck "thing," because no one under the age of sixty is even allowed to BRING dessert to potlucks.

 

If you've been an adult in the church congregation for fewer than ten years, you are to bring a substantial main course. Between ten and twenty years, you are allowed to bring a side dish. You have to be a long-term member, AND over the age of forty-five, AND a Southerner for at least three generations before you're allowed to bring fried chicken. You must be over sixty, AND a grandmother (step-grandmothers are allowed, but only if they helped raise the child that bore the grandchild), AND be the daughter of a family that have been members of that church for two generations or more, AND be in the choir or on the Alter Guild before you're allowed to bring dessert.

 

If you want that dessert to be banana pudding, you better be a leading member of the Ruritan club and either the matriarch of the church or the direct descendant of a former matriarch of the church. A maximum of three women per church are permitted to bring banana pudding, and only the most senior of these is allowed to bring it every time.

 

Males over the age of forty are allowed to violate any of these rules save the banana pudding rule by developing a "specialty" (fried chicken, say, or ice cream pie or cole slaw), which no one else is allowed to bring, even if she would not be in violation of any other rule by bringing it.

 

If a few men band together and develop the specialty of barbecuing (bringing their own barbecue pit and everything), no one is allowed to bring any other meat dish, and those whose age and seniority would normally dictate that they bring a main course should bring, instead, a substantial side, like potato casserole or pasta salad. The man who donates a barbecue pit to the church, for its exclusive use, must be present every time it is used, and is consulted at every stage of the procedure.

 

Our church has the occasional potluck, but there's usually not enough food, so they've chosen to have most dinner catered. How sad is THAT??

 

I loved potlucks growing up and my kids do, too. (when we don't wait too long to show up and there's still food left, that is :glare:)

[Anna]

I have a friend from where we used to live in Louisiana. We were all in our 30's and 40's at that time. My friend was from Michigan and often asked different ladies from our church for local recipes so she could learn to cook cajun. Welllll..... several of these *nice* church ladies would tell her, "Sure," and would give her recipes but they'd leave an ingredient out so it would never taste quite right :cursing: . My friend was no dummy and quickly figured out what they were doing. One day one of those same ladies asked my friend for a recipe and she couldn't resist. She gave her the requested recipe but with a main ingredient left out:001_tt2:.

 

She and I still laugh about those ladies doing that to her. And no, neither of us attend that church anymore.

Edited December 19, 2008 by Anna

[Daisy]

The only recipe I won't share with MY family is my chili recipe. I'll share it with anyone else though. LOL My family has this "contest" over chili and so none of us shares our secret recipe. :D

 

I love to share recipes.

[angela in ohio]

No secret recipes here. People are more important than my pride in anything I can cook. :)

[langfam]

No secret recipes. If you ask me for it I'll give it to you. Interestingly though I saw on a cooking show that if you give 10 people the same recipe, they'll all turn out slightly different.

[H.S. Burrow]

Well, that explains it.

 

Church potlucks, right?

 

Oh, honey, just give up. There's rules about potlucks, you know, and rules concerning desserts are strictest.

 

Now, if y'all lived down here, in the South, your friend probably wouldn't have been allowed to have a cake be her potluck "thing," because no one under the age of sixty is even allowed to BRING dessert to potlucks.

 

If you've been an adult in the church congregation for fewer than ten years, you are to bring a substantial main course. Between ten and twenty years, you are allowed to bring a side dish. You have to be a long-term member, AND over the age of forty-five, AND a Southerner for at least three generations before you're allowed to bring fried chicken. You must be over sixty, AND a grandmother (step-grandmothers are allowed, but only if they helped raise the child that bore the grandchild), AND be the daughter of a family that have been members of that church for two generations or more, AND be in the choir or on the Alter Guild before you're allowed to bring dessert.

 

If you want that dessert to be banana pudding, you better be a leading member of the Ruritan club and either the matriarch of the church or the direct descendant of a former matriarch of the church. A maximum of three women per church are permitted to bring banana pudding, and only the most senior of these is allowed to bring it every time.

 

Males over the age of forty are allowed to violate any of these rules save the banana pudding rule by developing a "specialty" (fried chicken, say, or ice cream pie or cole slaw), which no one else is allowed to bring, even if she would not be in violation of any other rule by bringing it.

 

If a few men band together and develop the specialty of barbecuing (bringing their own barbecue pit and everything), no one is allowed to bring any other meat dish, and those whose age and seniority would normally dictate that they bring a main course should bring, instead, a substantial side, like potato casserole or pasta salad. The man who donates a barbecue pit to the church, for its exclusive use, must be present every time it is used, and is consulted at every stage of the procedure.

 

 

:lol::lol:This is wonderful!!!

 

:iagree:You really should submit it!

[coffeefreak]

I hate secret recipes. Two years ago, we were going to this church, and I had surgery. A "friend" (quotes intended), brought us a bundt cake that the kids adored! When I asked her for the recipe, she wouldn't give it because it was her thing that she would bring to all the pot lucks and sick people. When I assured her I would only feed it to my own family, she said she'd think about it. I told her I'd get it off the internet. She was so insulted, she told me that I that there was no way I was going to find it.

 

Ladies, the recipe is from KRAFT!!!!:lol: It took me less than 5 min to find it! I have no secret recipes, and neither does anyone else. With the internet, NOTHING is a secret anymore!:lol:

 

PS Here's the recipe for that cake. I've made it my goal to give it to as many people as possible.

 

Pistachio Pudding Cake

[Ellyndria]

My mom has a secret "family only" enchilada recipe. *I* don't have a problem with sharing recipes, but since this is the only thing she has asked me not to share with anyone but family, I promised I wouldn't give it out. It's just not that big a deal to me one way or the other, so I don't have a problem with keeping it secret.

[unsinkable]

I'll share . . . even my fabulous sticky bun recipe that I cut out of a magazine years ago. It's so yummy that we've used it to gift some friends with. But being that it's so labor intensive I don't think any who got the recipe from me have made them.

 

Years ago we were at a Christmas social at a new friend's house. She had some chocolate balls on a plate and I asked her what was in them. I didn't want to get surprised by a coconut center--blech! She told me she didn't share recipes. OooooKay. So I took my chances. Turns out it was just a buckeye. Sheesh.

 

Cinder

 

Were they Schweddy balls by any chance?

 

Warning: video is "risque"

 

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/nprs-delicious-dish-schweddy-balls/2846/

[unsinkable]

I'm not a secret kind of girl. However, I use a recipe a few times then wing it there after. So...when I say a handful, a good pour or a pinch...it's hard to write them down unless I kept the original. Anyone is welcome in my kitchen and I've had a friend re-measure what I thew in the bowl using standard measuring instruments:D Her cornbread still wont come out like mine though.

 

I can see how this would happen. There are so many variable with baking, including the altitude where you live and the humidity.

 

There was a thread a while back about flat chocolate chip cookies. Everyone had their own opinion about how to keep a cookie from being flat and some opinions directly contradicted other opinions. I kept thinking there were too many variables to say why someone's cookies were flat or not flat.