FIL had a stroke

[MEmama]

FIL suffered a small stroke around 4 am yesterday morning. MIL knew he wasn’t well but left him sleeping in his recliner until 10-11, when she texted DH and shared his symptoms. DH convinced her to call an ambulance and they were taken to the big hospital in Tulsa.

He had a CT scan around noon, and then they were left *in the ER triage waiting area* at least until we went to bed at 10pm. In over 10 hours, they never spoke to a doctor, he was given no food or water (understandable because of swallowing danger) but also NO IV, no one told them what was going on…they were just left there, scared and alone. FIL is terrified of hospitals and doctors and kept demanding to leave. DH said the only saving grace is that he’s very unsteady and unable to walk, otherwise they would have just gone home without treatment.

BIL talked to FIL on the phone and reports he sounded confused and couldn’t follow a simple conversation. He seemed to think he was getting discharged (he wasn’t). DH spoke to MIL later and asked her to walk to the nurses station so he could speak with a nurse but apparently there simply aren’t any available. MIL is diabetic (poorly managed) and went all day without eating, FIL is diabetic as well and of course took none of his medication yesterday at all.

We haven’t heard any updates yet this morning, but we assume DH will have to fly out and take care of things for awhile. I feel useless; even if I could manage the trip I wouldn’t be able to be helpful and would just be more of a liability. DH and I are struggling to stifle our frustration at the thought of a stroke victim being completely ignored for endless hours; it is unthinkable that basic care could be so lacking.

Idk why I’m posting, really. Hopefully we'll get an update soon and hopefully he’s finally getting some care. 

 

 

Edited March 24, 2022 by MEmama

[scholastica]

I’m so sorry. I hope his care improves and he gets what he needs to recover.

[Night Elf]

I am so sorry he was treated so poorly. That just burns me up. Thoughts and prayers for all of you.

[LifeLovePassion]

Oh I'm sorry. That is awful and a lot to process.

[mom31257]

I'm so sorry he hasn't received proper care! Praying things turn around! 

[Melissa in Australia]

I am so sorry

 

[Kassia]

I'm so sorry. That is very scary and it is a lot to process at once.  

[Scarlett]

1 hour ago, MEmama said:

FIL suffered a small stroke around 4 am yesterday morning. MIL knew he wasn’t well but left him sleeping in his recliner until 10-11, when she texted DH and shared his symptoms. DH convinced her to call an ambulance and they were taken to the big hospital in Tulsa.

He had a CT scan around noon, and then they were left *in the ER triage waiting area* at least until we went to bed at 10pm. In over 10 hours, they never spoke to a doctor, he was given no food or water (understandable because of swallowing danger) but also NO IV, no one told them what was going on…they were just left there, scared and alone. FIL is terrified of hospitals and doctors and kept demanding to leave. DH said the only saving grace is that he’s very unsteady and unable to walk, otherwise they would have just gone home without treatment.

BIL talked to FIL on the phone and reports he sounded confused and couldn’t follow a simple conversation. He seemed to think he was getting discharged (he wasn’t). DH spoke to MIL later and asked her to walk to the nurses station so he could speak with a nurse but apparently there simply aren’t any available. MIL is diabetic (poorly managed) and went all day without eating, FIL is diabetic as well and of course took none of his medication yesterday at all.

We haven’t heard any updates yet this morning, but we assume DH will have to fly out and take care of things for awhile. I feel useless; even if I could manage the trip I wouldn’t be able to be helpful and would just be more of a liability. DH and I are struggling to stifle our frustration at the thought of a stroke victim being completely ignored for endless hours; it is unthinkable that basic care could be so lacking.

Idk why I’m posting, really. Hopefully we'll get an update soon and hopefully he’s finally getting some care. 

 

 

That is shockingly poor treatment.  If you don’t mind pm me which hospital. When my parents had their accident they were taken to a hospital in Tulsa. Things moved agonizingly slow but we did see nurses and trauma doctors periodically. They were first taken to a small hospital where the accident happened. They were there about 6 hours…..then transferred to Tulsa.  My mom got pain meds in the ambulance on the way to the hospital  but then nothing until they got her to ICU another 5 or 6 hours after we arrived. My feeling has always been that the problem was Covid…..this was in Oct of 2020….things were so bad I was not allowed to go back and forth between my mom and dad and so I stayed with mom since was the most injured.  

I believe things are much better now in Tulsa, but as always patients need advocates so I hope your husband can go asap to speak on their behalf.  I feel so bad for them.  ((((Hugs))))
 

[Eos]

Oh, I'm so sorry this happened and especially right now when you are still recovering.  I hope your dh has a peaceful visit and will also make some noise to the admin so it has less of a chance of happening again to another stroke victim.  So wrong, when all the stroke literature tells you to act "FAST" for best outcomes.  I'm glad it was a "small" stroke but what happens next time?  Terrible. 

My FIL was just in the hospital in MD for two day with pneumonia on top of his COPD and also received very little information or really any care at all.  I fear the health care system has gone beyond fixing since Covid.  Our society's treatment of health care workers and parents who need childcare to work has come home to roost.

[MEmama]

5 minutes ago, Eos said:

Oh, I'm so sorry this happened and especially right now when you are still recovering.  I hope your dh has a peaceful visit and will also make some noise to the admin so it has less of a chance of happening again to another stroke victim.  So wrong, when all the stroke literature tells you to act "FAST" for best outcomes.  I'm glad it was a "small" stroke but what happens next time?  Terrible. 

My FIL was just in the hospital in MD for two day with pneumonia on top of his COPD and also received very little information or really any care at all.  I fear the health care system has gone beyond fixing since Covid.  Our society's treatment of health care workers and parents who need childcare to work has come home to roost.

I think you’re right, and more so in some parts of the country. 

Predictably, MIL didn’t miss the opportunity yesterday to complain that “they shouldn’t have fired all the unvaccinated nurses”. 🙄

I'm feeling extra grateful for the care we have always received here in our community. I sense there is a level of support for our healthcare workers that doesn’t exist everywhere.

[Janeway]

I am very sorry! All this with the hospital is all too common. I had a child sent to the Children’s hospital ER with dehydration and wildly high blood sugar, and they took 20 hrs to see him.

i agree with the MIL. Beggars can’t be choosers and people die from the lack of medical care and mistakes are made when understaffed. They shouldn’t rid of the workers based on vaccination when it is leaving them so short staffed that they cannot give proper care.

Edited March 24, 2022 by Janeway

[MEmama]

6 minutes ago, Janeway said:

I am very sorry! All this with the hospital is all too common. I had a child sent to the Children’s hospital ER with dehydration and wildly high blood sugar, and they took 20 hrs to see him.

That’s horrifying! I’m so sorry you had to go through that— I can’t imagine how scared everyone must have felt. 😞 

[MEmama]

31 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

That is shockingly poor treatment.  If you don’t mind pm me which hospital. When my parents had their accident they were taken to a hospital in Tulsa. Things moved agonizingly slow but we did see nurses and trauma doctors periodically. They were first taken to a small hospital where the accident happened. They were there about 6 hours…..then transferred to Tulsa.  My mom got pain meds in the ambulance on the way to the hospital  but then nothing until they got her to ICU another 5 or 6 hours after we arrived. My feeling has always been that the problem was Covid…..this was in Oct of 2020….things were so bad I was not allowed to go back and forth between my mom and dad and so I stayed with mom since was the most injured.  

I believe things are much better now in Tulsa, but as always patients need advocates so I hope your husband can go asap to speak on their behalf.  I feel so bad for them.  ((((Hugs))))
 

I PMd you. 

[Laura Corin]

I'm sorry, that's awful.  You must feel so helpless, especially as you are not on top form yourself.

[mmasc]

I’m so sorry. I hope he gets the treatment and care that he (and your poor MIL) need.

[Soror]

That is appalling 😞  I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how rough that is especially with your own recovery.

[Mrs Tiggywinkle]

1 hour ago, Eos said:

Oh, I'm so sorry this happened and especially right now when you are still recovering.  I hope your dh has a peaceful visit and will also make some noise to the admin so it has less of a chance of happening again to another stroke victim.  So wrong, when all the stroke literature tells you to act "FAST" for best outcomes.  I'm glad it was a "small" stroke but what happens next time?  Terrible. 

My FIL was just in the hospital in MD for two day with pneumonia on top of his COPD and also received very little information or really any care at all.  I fear the health care system has gone beyond fixing since Covid.  Our society's treatment of health care workers and parents who need childcare to work has come home to roost.

The FAST outcomes are for people who have witnessed strokes or have been seen normal by someone fairly recently before the symtoms start. What many people don’t realize is that depending on the type of stroke(a clot), there is only 4-6 hours from time of last seen normal(depending on the hospital and their policies; our local hospital is 3 hours, some places are experimenting with up to 24 hours) that they can administer the clot buster.  So if you go to sleep at 8 pm and were normal then, but didn’t wake up till 6 am and have stroke symtoms then, you’re out of the window for the medication.  It sounds like FIL was out of the time window for any medical intervention, and at that point they often just admit stroke patients for observation and further testing and often send them to short term rehab if needed.  The messaging around strokes is a little misleading, because a lot of people call and think they will receive quick medical intervention, when really the patient is way out of the window for medication and there isn’t much that can be done at that point.

Edited March 24, 2022 by Mrs Tiggywinkle

[Eos]

5 minutes ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

The FAST outcomes are for people who have witnessed strokes or have been seen normal by someone fairly recently before the symtoms start. What many people don’t realize is that depending on the type of stroke(a clot), there is only 4-6 hours from time of last seen normal(depending on the hospital and their policies; our local hospital is 3 hours, some places are experimenting with up to 24 hours) that they can administer the clot buster.  So if you go to sleep at 8 pm and were normal then, but didn’t wake up till 6 am and have stroke symtoms then, you’re out of the window for the medication.  It sounds like FIL was out of the time window for any medical intervention, and at that point they often just admit stroke patients for observation and further testing and often send them to short term rehab if needed.  The messaging around strokes is a little misleading, because a lot of people call and think they will receive quick medical intervention, when really the patient is way out of the window for medication and there isn’t much that can be done at that point.

Really good to know, thank you.

[Kassia]

11 minutes ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

The FAST outcomes are for people who have witnessed strokes or have been seen normal by someone fairly recently before the symtoms start. What many people don’t realize is that depending on the type of stroke(a clot), there is only 4-6 hours from time of last seen normal(depending on the hospital and their policies; our local hospital is 3 hours, some places are experimenting with up to 24 hours) that they can administer the clot buster.  So if you go to sleep at 8 pm and were normal then, but didn’t wake up till 6 am and have stroke symtoms then, you’re out of the window for the medication.  It sounds like FIL was out of the time window for any medical intervention, and at that point they often just admit stroke patients for observation and further testing and often send them to short term rehab if needed.  The messaging around strokes is a little misleading, because a lot of people call and think they will receive quick medical intervention, when really the patient is way out of the window for medication and there isn’t much that can be done at that point.

I had no idea. Thank you for sharing that information.

[MEmama]

12 minutes ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

The FAST outcomes are for people who have witnessed strokes or have been seen normal by someone fairly recently before the symtoms start. What many people don’t realize is that depending on the type of stroke(a clot), there is only 4-6 hours from time of last seen normal(depending on the hospital and their policies; our local hospital is 3 hours, some places are experimenting with up to 24 hours) that they can administer the clot buster.  So if you go to sleep at 8 pm and were normal then, but didn’t wake up till 6 am and have stroke symtoms then, you’re out of the window for the medication.  It sounds like FIL was out of the time window for any medical intervention, and at that point they often just admit stroke patients for observation and further testing and often send them to short term rehab if needed.  The messaging around strokes is a little misleading, because a lot of people call and think they will receive quick medical intervention, when really the patient is way out of the window for medication and there isn’t much that can be done at that point.

Thank you!

This mirrors his experience, it seems, and helps us understand why he wasn’t a priority for intervention. I really appreciate this explanation. 

[Mrs Tiggywinkle]

5 minutes ago, Eos said:

Really good to know, thank you.

Poor medical messaging is the bane of my existence.  If you think someone is experiencing stroke symptoms or just not acting right; please please call 911 immediately.  There are few things that really truly need quick medical assessment and intervention but a possible stroke is one.

I’ll get off my soapbox. OP, I’m so sorry about your FIL.  I hope that he is left with few to no deficits and they can prevent future strokes.

[MEmama]

3 minutes ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

Poor medical messaging is the bane of my existence.  If you think someone is experiencing stroke symptoms or just not acting right; please please call 911 immediately.  There are few things that really truly need quick medical assessment and intervention but a possible stroke is one.

I’ll get off my soapbox. OP, I’m so sorry about your FIL.  I hope that he is left with few to no deficits and they can prevent future strokes.

Thank you. Apparently they think he likely had two smaller, earlier strokes and then the bigger one that MIL either didn’t recognize or just didn’t know what to do about. It is unclear what sort of timeline the two smaller strokes might have occurred; we are hoping for better information today.

It seems his left hand is curled and his vision is poor, in addition to his confusion. He shouldn’t have been driving before this, so maybe this will keep Tulsa safer by keeping him off the road, at any rate. 

[mommyoffive]

I am so sorry to hear this. Sending good thoughts and prayers his way.

[TheReader]

So sorry to hear all of this; praying for his treatment & care going forward, and his recovery. 

[MEmama]

So it appears he suffered several smaller stokes over the past three weeks or so that went unrecognised or ignored before this bigger incident yesterday. The blood clot is in the back of his head and they are unable to operate on it, so instead they will try to shrink it with medication. We don’t yet have a timeline, or know what happens if it breaks free before then.

They finally found him a room in the ER, where he spent the night and will stay until a bed opens up in the hospital. Apparently they are full to overflowing, idk if it’s with Covid cases or if that's normal there. According to FIL's brother, who is a retired surgeon in that hospital, typical treatment will be to keep him there for several days, then transfer him to a PT wing (?clinic? Unclear) for possibly a few weeks. I cannot under any circumstances see him willing to go through that. It is impossible to overstate how terrified he is of doctors and healthcare.

DH is researching flights but can’t do much until we know a little more. I feel awful that I can’t/shouldn’t go with him for support and to help MIL. I know she can’t be handling this well. 😞 

Edited March 24, 2022 by MEmama

[mlktwins]

5 minutes ago, MEmama said:

So it appears he suffered several smaller stokes over the past three weeks or so that went unrecognised or ignored before this bigger incident yesterday. The blood clot is in the back of his head and they are unable to operate on it, so instead they will try to shrink it with medication. We don’t yet have a timeline, or know what happens if it breaks free before then.

They finally found him a room in the ER, where he spent the night and will stay until a bed opens up in the hospital. Apparently they are full to overflowing, idk if it’s with Covid cases or if that's normal there. According to FIL's brother, who is a retired surgeon in that hospital, typical treatment will be to keep him there for several days, then transfer him to a PT wing (?clinic? Unclear) for possibly a few weeks. I cannot under any circumstances see him willing to go through that. It is impossible to overstate how terrified he is of doctors and healthcare.

DH is researching flights but can’t do much until we know a little more. I feel awful that I can’t/shouldn’t go with him for support and to help MIL. I know she can’t be handling this well. 😞 

I am so very sorry this has happened to your FIL (and MIL).  How traumatic for them and for you and DH.  I know you want to go, but please take care of yourself!

 

[El...]

Oh my, how scary and frustrating! Poor guy. I'm sorry this is happening. 

[Catwoman]

I’m so sorry this is happening. It is so difficult to deal with these kinds of medical issues, even when you live nearby, but the older our parents get, the better it is when they don’t live so far away.

Is there any chance they might be willing to move closer to you? This is a lot for your DH to deal with, and sadly, this will probably not be the last time he has to rush out there because they need him for something.

Please don’t feel guilty for not being able to go and help. I’m sure everyone knows that you would if you could.

[MEmama]

2 minutes ago, Catwoman said:

I’m so sorry this is happening. It is so difficult to deal with these kinds of medical issues, even when you live nearby, but the older our parents get, the better it is when they don’t live so far away.

Is there any chance they might be willing to move closer to you? This is a lot for your DH to deal with, and sadly, this will probably not be the last time he has to rush out there because they need him for something.

Please don’t feel guilty for not being able to go and help. I’m sure everyone knows that you would if you could.

We knew this day would come, honestly it’s a surprise it hasn’t happened years ago. They are both in terrible health and wholly uninterested in changing. They moved back to OK from the city they called home for 30+ years and where BIL and his family still lives. There is nothing that would make them leave where they are, and nothing that would convince us to move closer. It’s just going to have to happen long distance, as inconvenient as that is.

Here's the kicker though. DH had an older brother who died (unmanaged health issues) around 12 years ago. MIL and FIL moved to where they are to take care of widowed SIL and her young son. She is one of those helpless, entitled sorts and they do everything for her. DH and I have always suspected that when this day eventually came, when she could of use to them, she wouldn’t take any responsibility…and that’s exactly what’s happened. She didn’t go to the hospital yesterday, didn’t bring MIL any food, didn’t lift a finger. Like I said, at least we expected it.

I know I shouldn’t feel guilty, but I’d like to be able to help. At least I’m far enough into recovery that I can take care of myself at home; I know DH will worry but his parents need him much more than I do. 

[TexasProud]

2 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

The FAST outcomes are for people who have witnessed strokes or have been seen normal by someone fairly recently before the symtoms start. What many people don’t realize is that depending on the type of stroke(a clot), there is only 4-6 hours from time of last seen normal(depending on the hospital and their policies; our local hospital is 3 hours, some places are experimenting with up to 24 hours) that they can administer the clot buster.  So if you go to sleep at 8 pm and were normal then, but didn’t wake up till 6 am and have stroke symtoms then, you’re out of the window for the medication.  It sounds like FIL was out of the time window for any medical intervention, and at that point they often just admit stroke patients for observation and further testing and often send them to short term rehab if needed.  The messaging around strokes is a little misleading, because a lot of people call and think they will receive quick medical intervention, when really the patient is way out of the window for medication and there isn’t much that can be done at that point.

Yes, I learned this 20 years ago when my step-dad had a stroke. My mom had gone to work and he wasn't feeling great. She called to check on him several times. She thought he sounded sleepy, though in retrospect, his voice was mumbly from the stroke. The last time he told her, "I feel ok, except I can't get off the floor."  She headed straight home and found him, unable to use his right side.  It had been way too long for treatment.

[Kassia]

1 hour ago, MEmama said:

Apparently they are full to overflowing, idk if it’s with Covid cases or if that's normal there. According to FIL's brother, who is a retired surgeon in that hospital, typical treatment will be to keep him there for several days, then transfer him to a PT wing (?clinic? Unclear) for possibly a few weeks. I cannot under any circumstances see him willing to go through that. It is impossible to overstate how terrified he is of doctors and healthcare.

 

My father was the same way.  He was absolutely terrified of doctors and hospitals.  His mother died when she was young and the last time he saw her, she was going to the hospital so I think that's where the fear came from.  He ended up in the hospital twice before he died and both times he left even though he shouldn't have.  He died rather suddenly in his apartment and even though it was awful and shocking for me, I did feel grateful that he never had to be hospitalized again or go to a nursing home/rehab.  

Our ER is surprisingly full too and I don't know why.  My MIL fell last week and had a lot of pain/immobility in her shoulder and DH took her there only to be told that it would be such a long wait that she should just go home.  

 

17 minutes ago, MEmama said:

MIL and FIL moved to where they are to take care of widowed SIL and her young son. She is one of those helpless, entitled sorts and they do everything for her. DH and I have always suspected that when this day eventually came, when she could of use to them, she wouldn’t take any responsibility…and that’s exactly what’s happened. She didn’t go to the hospital yesterday, didn’t bring MIL any food, didn’t lift a finger. Like I said, at least we expected it.

I know I shouldn’t feel guilty, but I’d like to be able to help. At least I’m far enough into recovery that I can take care of myself at home; I know DH will worry but his parents need him much more than I do. 

That's awful (and heartless) of your SIL.  

Definitely no reason to feel guilty (but I understand!).  And you are helping by taking care of things at home so DH can go and focus on his parents.  

 

[athena1277]

1 hour ago, MEmama said:

So it appears he suffered several smaller stokes over the past three weeks or so that went unrecognised or ignored before this bigger incident yesterday. The blood clot is in the back of his head and they are unable to operate on it, so instead they will try to shrink it with medication. We don’t yet have a timeline, or know what happens if it breaks free before then.

They finally found him a room in the ER, where he spent the night and will stay until a bed opens up in the hospital. Apparently they are full to overflowing, idk if it’s with Covid cases or if that's normal there. According to FIL's brother, who is a retired surgeon in that hospital, typical treatment will be to keep him there for several days, then transfer him to a PT wing (?clinic? Unclear) for possibly a few weeks. I cannot under any circumstances see him willing to go through that. It is impossible to overstate how terrified he is of doctors and healthcare.

DH is researching flights but can’t do much until we know a little more. I feel awful that I can’t/shouldn’t go with him for support and to help MIL. I know she can’t be handling this well. 😞 

It’s possible that they don’t give him a choice about rehab.  If someone needs special care after the hospital and there’s not a family member or $ to pay for home healthcare that’s needed, they won’t usually let them leave.  There should be someone at the hospital to help the family decide the best thing to do.  The fact that he can’t get around well on his own makes it a little easier because all he can do is fuss, not physically leave.

[MEmama]

11 minutes ago, Kassia said:

My father was the same way.  He was absolutely terrified of doctors and hospitals.  His mother died when she was young and the last time he saw her, she was going to the hospital so I think that's where the fear came from.  He ended up in the hospital twice before he died and both times he left even though he shouldn't have.  He died rather suddenly in his apartment and even though it was awful and shocking for me, I did feel grateful that he never had to be hospitalized again or go to a nursing home/rehab.  

Our ER is surprisingly full too and I don't know why.  My MIL fell last week and had a lot of pain/immobility in her shoulder and DH took her there only to be told that it would be such a long wait that she should just go home.  

 

That's awful (and heartless) of your SIL.  

Definitely no reason to feel guilty (but I understand!).  And you are helping by taking care of things at home so DH can go and focus on his parents.  

 

I hope your MIL is okay and that she has managed to get treatment by now. I don’t think people realize what our healthcare crisis looks like until something like this happens…until they need help but it simply isn’t available. 😞 

Idk where FIL's fear comes from. He’d honestly rather die than get treatment, so it’ll be interesting to see how this plays out. It’s been heartbreaking watching his decline over the past 20+ years; he's long suffered from bad knees but rather than get a transplant he’s simply become essentially immobile. Of course one untreated problem leads to another and now he’s so broken all he does sit in his recliner and decline. We feel totally helpless.

[Kassia]

23 minutes ago, MEmama said:

 I don’t think people realize what our healthcare crisis looks like until something like this happens…until they need help but it simply isn’t available. 😞 

 He’d honestly rather die than get treatment

Yes, the healthcare crisis is terrifying on so many levels. 😞

My dad was the same way.  I think he would have lived longer if he had gone for medical treatment but he was absolutely terrified of doctors.  I'm OOS and knew something was wrong but didn't realize it was so bad until it was too late.  

I hope it all works out for your family!  It's so stressful on top of the all the physical issues.  

Edited March 24, 2022 by Kassia

[Jenny in Florida]

That sounds like an awful experience for everyone. I hope your FIL gets the care he needs ASAP.

[kbutton]

3 hours ago, Kassia said:

Our ER is surprisingly full too and I don't know why.  My MIL fell last week and had a lot of pain/immobility in her shoulder and DH took her there only to be told that it would be such a long wait that she should just go home.  

They are trying to adjust staffing. Covid had lots off "all hands on deck" times, but when it's not raging, volume is down, so they cut staff hours. The patient flow throughout the day and night is also different during normal times and Covid, so it can be tricky to respond while not completely jerking staff around who need to have some idea what their schedule is. A lot of the ER clientele in some areas is poor and/or old, which means a lot of people died, and/or a lot of people are staying home vs. risking Covid (though that shouldn't be an issue in most ERs right now). 

Rural ERs probably have a different set of needs, but I am sure they are seeing some of the same trends.

[wintermom]

I hope your fil is getting the treatment and support to help his recovery. Sounds like a sad situation, and hard to deal with from a long distance. 

Do your in-laws have 'personal directives' of who can make health decisions and are there goals of care in place? These can be very helpful.

[TechWife]

nm

Edited March 24, 2022 by TechWife

[MEmama]

1 hour ago, wintermom said:

I hope your fil is getting the treatment and support to help his recovery. Sounds like a sad situation, and hard to deal with from a long distance. 

Do your in-laws have 'personal directives' of who can make health decisions and are there goals of care in place? These can be very helpful.

I very much doubt it, but I’ll have DH ask. I’m sure they just assume DH will take care of everything. Thanks for bringing this up. 

[Kanin]

8 hours ago, MEmama said:

They finally found him a room in the ER, where he spent the night and will stay until a bed opens up in the hospital. Apparently they are full to overflowing, idk if it’s with Covid cases or if that's normal there. According to FIL's brother, who is a retired surgeon in that hospital, typical treatment will be to keep him there for several days, then transfer him to a PT wing (?clinic? Unclear) for possibly a few weeks. I cannot under any circumstances see him willing to go through that. It is impossible to overstate how terrified he is of doctors and healthcare.

Oh, this sounds so scary and sad for them. And you!

[Catwoman]

Any updates on how he’s doing? I hope he’s not too nervous from being in the hospital.

[MEmama]

10 hours ago, Catwoman said:

Any updates on how he’s doing? I hope he’s not too nervous from being in the hospital.

Nothing new yet this morning. It’s difficult for us to get an honest sense of how he’s holding up emotionally; MIL commonly downplays symptoms (which may be why she didn’t recognize the effects of his earlier strokes). She has a tendency to project her desires onto others and especially him, so when she says he’s fine, it’s really that she wants him to feel fine. I understand she’s scared and she certainly doesn’t know how to navigate the situation at all. I hate that she has to go through this part alone.