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RANT: recipe reviewers who can’t cook


Sneezyone
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I know everyone has different skill sets and abilities. Some recipes are better written than others too, especially those posted on crowdsourced pages like Allrecipes. However, it’s really only helpful to me to see reviews from people who know what the heck they’re doing in the kitchen (and why).

Don't downgrade a recipe if you added a full can of canned tomatoes to a recipe that calls for ONE FRESH TOMATO because your 20 min. boiled chicken was dry. There’s no way your chicken was tender and shreddable after 20 minutes. That takes 20 minutes of cooking time AND 20 minutes of resting off the heat and in the cooking juices. If you need to sub for a red bell pepper, use orange or yellow, both are sweet and colorful. Swapping a sweet red pepper for a bitter green one isn’t tasty. Geeze, people, you cannot expect the same flavor profile or results when making such drastic changes.

There are probably lots of recipes that I’d try and love but for the bad reviews of challenged cooks. On a happy note, reviews that include these unfortunate details are much easier to discount. Rant over.

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On the other hand, I, a person who is a terrible cook, would love to see recipes written and reviewed for people who can't cook.  Like, spell out all the things, like the fact that the chicken needs to rest, and what exactly that means.  Tell me ALL THE THINGS in the recipe.

And reviews by people who are terrible cooks and admit to it would help me decide what I'm up for attempting.  Like, this is easy from someone like @Dreamergal means less to me than from someone who says, "I once messed up Kraft mac&cheese, but this recipe turned out great for me!"  That's the kind of review that would make me feel confident!

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1 minute ago, Spryte said:

Right? The ones who change the entire recipe with subbing and swapping ingredients, changing cooking times, and then give it a bad review make me crazy.  Try the actual recipe before you review it!

Like, hey, I subbed the meat for tempeh and found it to be chewy and flavorless. 🤦🏽‍♀️😣

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I'm often just shocked at the basics that people don't know about cooking and substitutions and which corners you can cut and which ones you can't. I'm not an amazing cook by any means, but... some of the things people do, I'm like, huh? Why did you think that would work?

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Just now, Terabith said:

On the other hand, I, a person who is a terrible cook, would love to see recipes written and reviewed for people who can't cook.  Like, spell out all the things, like the fact that the chicken needs to rest, and what exactly that means.  Tell me ALL THE THINGS in the recipe.

And reviews by people who are terrible cooks and admit to it would help me decide what I'm up for attempting.  Like, this is easy from someone like @Dreamergal means less to me than from someone who says, "I once messed up Kraft mac&cheese, but this recipe turned out great for me!"  That's the kind of review that would make me feel confident!

That would be helpful. People never admit to being terrible cooks tho. 🤣

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3 minutes ago, Farrar said:

I'm often just shocked at the basics that people don't know about cooking and substitutions and which corners you can cut and which ones you can't. I'm not an amazing cook by any means, but... some of the things people do, I'm like, huh? Why did you think that would work?

See, I don't really know what I can and cannot change, so I try REALLY HARD to follow the recipe as written.  I've made a particular recipe for chicken tikka masala four times, because I keep messing up one thing or another (like realizing I put in a Tablespoon of salt instead of a teaspoon), so it wasn't till the fourth attempt that I felt like we'd really actually tried it as written.  The last attempt was.....fine, but not a favorite for anyone and one child in particular really disliked it, so I think we'll keep looking.  

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1 minute ago, Terabith said:

See, I don't really know what I can and cannot change, so I try REALLY HARD to follow the recipe as written.  I've made a particular recipe for chicken tikka masala four times, because I keep messing up one thing or another (like realizing I put in a Tablespoon of salt instead of a teaspoon), so it wasn't till the fourth attempt that I felt like we'd really actually tried it as written.  The last attempt was.....fine, but not a favorite for anyone and one child in particular really disliked it, so I think we'll keep looking.  

I think a lot of home cook recipes are either a) too bland or b) assume the cook knows more about food/techniques than many do. I sympathize, truly. They should be more detailed.

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5 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

I think a lot of home cook recipes are either a) too bland or b) assume the cook knows more about food/techniques than many do. I sympathize, truly. They should be more detailed.

Tangent alert: 

One time, when I was a little baby cook/baker, I followed a recipe for Apple Muffins. They were absolutely terrible. I could have used them for hockey practice. No flavor, hard as granite. I figured surely I must have overlooked some crucial ingredient so, giving the recipe the benefit of a doubt, I tried it again. 

Hockey pucks, all. “It’s not me, it’s you.” 

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6 minutes ago, Quill said:

Tangent alert: 

One time, when I was a little baby cook/baker, I followed a recipe for Apple Muffins. They were absolutely terrible. I could have used them for hockey practice. No flavor, hard as granite. I figured surely I must have overlooked some crucial ingredient so, giving the recipe the benefit of a doubt, I tried it again. 

Hockey pucks, all. “It’s not me, it’s you.” 

I often improve upon recipes, especially ethnic or regional foods, b/c the ones published in English simplify too much. If the ingredients that really make the dish aren’t common in US pantries, they simply omit them. I’m thinking about fish sauce in Vietnamese or Thai food, Chinese cooking wine which tastes nothing like sake or mirin. Amchur, carom, sumac, black lemon, etc.  These things make a difference.

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20 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

There’s no way your chicken was tender and shreddable after 20 minutes. That takes 20 minutes of cooking time AND 20 minutes of resting off the heat and in the cooking juices. 

Chicken can be tender and shreddable after 20mins. You can use the stew function in the instant pot with lots of water/stock. Or you can slow cook in a pot and shred partially after 10 mins and dumping the shredded meat into the pot to continue cooking.  Or use an air fryer to partially cook the chicken then shred and dump into a pot to slow cook. 

8 minutes ago, Terabith said:

.  I've made a particular recipe for chicken tikka masala four times, because I keep messing up one thing or another (like realizing I put in a Tablespoon of salt instead of a teaspoon), so it wasn't till the fourth attempt that I felt like we'd really actually tried it as written. 

It is the “a pinch of” that have me guessing. Having an overly sensitive nose and taste buds was useful. My DS16 also has overly sensitive taste buds.

I did not put any salt for chicken tikka marsala because that’s how my family likes it. I feel that my garam marsala powder already taste salty even though it contains no salt.

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5 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

I’m thinking about fish sauce in Vietnamese or Thai food, Chinese cooking wine which tastes nothing like sake or mirin.

I use mirin with 13% alcohol as substitute for Chinese cooking wine. I can easily buy Chinese cooking wine but they are all from China and I have slightly higher trust in Japan for food products. My fish sauce is made in Thailand and I use that for making kimchi. 

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16 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

Chicken can be tender and shreddable after 20mins. You can use the stew function in the instant pot with lots of water/stock. Or you can slow cook in a pot and shred partially after 10 mins and dumping the shredded meat into the pot to continue cooking.  Or use an air fryer to partially cook the chicken then shred and dump into a pot to slow cook. 

It is the “a pinch of” that have me guessing. Having an overly sensitive nose and taste buds was useful. My DS16 also has overly sensitive taste buds.

I did not put any salt for chicken tikka marsala because that’s how my family likes it. I feel that my garam marsala powder already taste salty even though it contains no salt.

This recipe called for boiling raw chicken. The reviewer pulled it out after, precisely, 20 min. There were no other suggested techniques. I could do lots of things to speed the process, like cutting it smaller to begin with. I have never found my instapot chicken to be ready with 20 minutes and quick release, even if raw. Natural release and pre-searing is it for me. The goal was, however, to have tender and shreddable chicken. The reviewer gave the recipe 3 stars because of the dry chicken and overpowering tomato. 🤣

I have never tried Mirin with an alcohol content that high but I might just to see if it is similar. The more readily available Kikkoman Mirin is way too sweet. I send my bestie an email with what I’m looking for/need and photos of the options in my local Asian grocery store and she tells me which to buy. I can only tell by taste. Sadly, they don’t let me sample the goods. 🤣

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27 minutes ago, Terabith said:

See, I don't really know what I can and cannot change, so I try REALLY HARD to follow the recipe as written.  I've made a particular recipe for chicken tikka masala four times, because I keep messing up one thing or another (like realizing I put in a Tablespoon of salt instead of a teaspoon), so it wasn't till the fourth attempt that I felt like we'd really actually tried it as written.  The last attempt was.....fine, but not a favorite for anyone and one child in particular really disliked it, so I think we'll keep looking.  

I will take this opportunity to mention I have been making Indian food from Chetna Makan's recipes (Healthy Indian and Healthy Indian Vegetarian). Soooo much flavor!!! Fabulous food. She's on Youtube and Intagram if you are interested.

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10 minutes ago, ktgrok said:

And if you modify and it is great, if the thing you made isn't like the original at all, don't rate it well, either! If you had to totally change it, it's not good!

This part. I won’t rate a recipe poorly if I didn’t make it with some fidelity.

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6 minutes ago, Harriet Vane said:

I will take this opportunity to mention I have been making Indian food from Chetna Makan's recipes (Healthy Indian and Healthy Indian Vegetarian). Soooo much flavor!!! Fabulous food. She's on Youtube and Intagram if you are interested.

Thanks for the tip! I will look this up. My DH really likes spicy Indian food.

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Or the five stars reviews that say "can't wait to try this"  "This look soooo yummy!"

I have wasted so much time making 5 star recipes that turned out terrible, only to find out every one of those 5 star reviewers had changed something fairly significant.   Thank goodness I am a much better cook now and can use a recipe just as a guide. 

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14 minutes ago, maize said:

I am constitutionally incapable of following a recipe. My brain has a need to rebel against instructions and make All The Changes 🤣

I don't, however, leave reviews on recipe sites 😉

Same. I feel compelled to add more, MORE, MORE!! There are some notable exceptions tho. I make an eggplant Parmesan variant with no frying and 7 ingredients, nine if you count S&P.

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11 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

 

I have never tried Mirin with an alcohol content that high but I might just to see if it is similar. The more readily available Kikkoman Mirin is way too sweet.



Is this the Mirin you tried? The sugar content is quite high.

https://www.amazon.com/Kikkoman-Manjo-Aji-Mirin-17/dp/B0002YB210

The one I am currently using is Morita brand and its sugar content is low.

 

image.jpg

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12 minutes ago, LuvToRead said:

Or the five stars reviews that say "can't wait to try this"  "This look soooo yummy!"

This!  Do not leave a review if you have not actually tried the thing.  What do they think they’re reviewing, the writing and photography?

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24 minutes ago, maize said:

I am constitutionally incapable of following a recipe. My brain has a need to rebel against instructions and make All The Changes 🤣

I don't, however, leave reviews on recipe sites 😉

I absolutely agree with this statement.  

 

All those modifications mentioned above, yeah I've done them all, never would occur to me not to, use what you've got even if it's not how the recipe is written.  But I've never written a recipe review in my life so at least I'm not misleading anyone.

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38 minutes ago, maize said:

I am constitutionally incapable of following a recipe. My brain has a need to rebel against instructions and make All The Changes 🤣

I don't, however, leave reviews on recipe sites 😉

Me, too.  I am a rebel by nature.   I also, though, am a horrible cook.  😆. You'd think I'd learn to just follow the damn recipe, but nope. 

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While we are ranting, can we also complain about the recipes that have 20 pages of descriptions and videos that you have to scroll through to get to the actual recipe?!?!  Does anyone ever read that stuff or watch the videos?

I too modify pretty much every recipe.  I double the onion, garlic, ginger, and spices in most recipes.  I don't even think about it anymore.  I halve the sugar and will swap ingredients with reckless abandon.  I also almost never use measuring devices.  Luckily, I never leave recipe reviews!

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1 minute ago, skimomma said:

While we are ranting, can we also complain about the recipes that have 20 pages of descriptions and videos that you have to scroll through to get to the actual recipe?!?!  Does anyone ever read that stuff or watch the videos?

I too modify pretty much every recipe.  I double the onion, garlic, ginger, and spices in most recipes.  I don't even think about it anymore.  I halve the sugar and will swap ingredients with reckless abandon.  I also almost never use measuring devices.  Luckily, I never leave recipe reviews!

YES!! Fortunately, most blogs now use the ‘jump to recipe’ toggle button.

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9 minutes ago, skimomma said:

While we are ranting, can we also complain about the recipes that have 20 pages of descriptions and videos that you have to scroll through to get to the actual recipe?!?!  Does anyone ever read that stuff or watch the videos?

I too modify pretty much every recipe.  I double the onion, garlic, ginger, and spices in most recipes.  I don't even think about it anymore.  I halve the sugar and will swap ingredients with reckless abandon.  I also almost never use measuring devices.  Luckily, I never leave recipe reviews!

OMG.   Do you mean when the blogger gives you her life story and how her great great grandma came over on a ship with just her shriveled garlic bulbs in her apron and now it's the blogger's life's work to spread her family recipes far and wide and then somehow we get to how she met her husband in college at a beer pong tournament and now they're married with 2.5 kids and live in the 'burbs' but her heart will always be in the big city?   Is that what you're talking about?  🤯🤯🤯
 

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15 minutes ago, skimomma said:

While we are ranting, can we also complain about the recipes that have 20 pages of descriptions and videos that you have to scroll through to get to the actual recipe?!?!  Does anyone ever read that stuff or watch the videos?

I too modify pretty much every recipe.  I double the onion, garlic, ginger, and spices in most recipes.  I don't even think about it anymore.  I halve the sugar and will swap ingredients with reckless abandon.  I also almost never use measuring devices.  Luckily, I never leave recipe reviews!

OMGosh YES!  It’s so annoying. And the pop up ads and the videos that start automatically. . . 

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17 minutes ago, skimomma said:

While we are ranting, can we also complain about the recipes that have 20 pages of descriptions and videos that you have to scroll through to get to the actual recipe?!?!  Does anyone ever read that stuff or watch the videos?

I too modify pretty much every recipe.  I double the onion, garlic, ginger, and spices in most recipes.  I don't even think about it anymore.  I halve the sugar and will swap ingredients with reckless abandon.  I also almost never use measuring devices.  Luckily, I never leave recipe reviews!

 

5 minutes ago, WildflowerMom said:

OMG.   Do you mean when the blogger gives you her life story and how her great great grandma came over on a ship with just her shriveled garlic bulbs in her apron and now it's the blogger's life's work to spread her family recipes far and wide and then somehow we get to how she met her husband in college at a beer pong tournament and now they're married with 2.5 kids and live in the 'burbs' but her heart will always be in the big city?   Is that what you're talking about?  🤯🤯🤯
 

Yes. I don't care if a recipe has ten million five star reviews, if I have to scroll through pages and pages of commentary, pictures, and videos to (finally) get to the actual recipe . . I will not try that recipe. I just won't.

Can we all just go ahead and stipulate for the official record that we know how to saute the onions, garlic and peppers? To brown the chicken or ground beef? We do know. We truly, truly do. We don't need 57 pictures of it.

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1 hour ago, Sneezyone said:

Same. I feel compelled to add more, MORE, MORE!! There are some notable exceptions tho. I make an eggplant Parmesan variant with no frying and 7 ingredients, nine if you count S&P.

Oooh! Eggplant parm without frying sounds amazing, as does your cooking in general. I'd love the recipe if it's not too much trouble. 

PS--We went to a Middle Eastern market a few days ago and they did not have your beloved Knorr salad seasoning. They did have fresh almonds and chickpeas, though, which was fun. I'd never seen them in their husks before, much less had a chance to try them. 

Edited by Acadie
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1 minute ago, Tanaqui said:

You'd be amazed how many people don't nkow how to brown the chop meat or saute the aromatics.

Maybe.  But they can go find a beginner's cookbook or video. Once they see it one time -- they'll know. And then they won't need to see it ever again.

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15 minutes ago, Dreamergal said:

Ummm...Should I be flattered or horrified that I have given the impression that I am a cook who does not mess up ??   😊 Very wrong. I cook through trial and error. The one cuisine I cook with my eyes closed is Indian and that is because I grew up with it and was nostalgic. I am very much a trial and error cook. 

This describes @Spy Car more. He cooks like an Indian grandmother while I don't even though my Indian grandmother taught me the basics.

You don't give the impression that you never mess up; you give the impression that you're confident and competent and able to deal with complex recipes.  

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3 minutes ago, Acadie said:

Oooh! Eggplant parm without frying sounds amazing, as does your cooking in general. I'd love the recipe if it's not too much trouble. 

Sure. It’s so simple tho that it’s practically criminal. I’ve written it up for friends before. Lemme see if I can find it.

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I can forgive random recipe reviewers gone awry.  But recipe developers or cookbook authors who publish undertested recipes make me insane.  If I am using a recipe, it is because I am not familiar with the dish, and require YOU, the recipe developer, to figure out what works and what does not.*  If i want to waste time and ingredients, I can do that all by myself, thank you very much.  

*Along similar lines, I very much dislike this current trend of lecturing home cooks about how 'real cooks' don't need recipes and just add a pinch or this and a handful of that. Extra minus points if said lecturer is (a) a man; and/or (b) not the person in his or her household who is responsible for shopping for, preparing, and cleaning up after at least 75% of the meals.  

 

 

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39 minutes ago, Terabith said:

You don't give the impression that you never mess up; you give the impression that you're confident and competent and able to deal with complex recipes.  

Use your senses as you cook. Think about the way different methods of cooking: boiling, steaming, sauteing, frying, air frying, stewing, braising, clay-pot, slow cooking, BBQing, roasting, baking, broiling, and grilling (to name some) have different influences on the texture and flavor of food.

Think of a potato. 

Have fun. Don't take recipes seriously. Do learn techniques. Having techniques will give you confidence.

Bill

 

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7 minutes ago, Dreamergal said:

The texture of what we used at home was more diamond salt. We used what is called rock salt at home which is called Sendha Namak in Hindi. It comes directly from the sea and the texture was coarse. I find the texture of diamond salt to be similar and curiously it is called rock salt here. 

When the pandemic lifts, if you have a Korean market in your area, I find they stock a wide variety of medium-coarse to coarse sea salt. Excellent stuff. And economical (as Koreans are using it heavily for pickling).

Nice texture. Quality. You would like.

Bill

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18 hours ago, Acadie said:

Oooh! Eggplant parm without frying sounds amazing, as does your cooking in general. I'd love the recipe if it's not too much trouble. 

PS--We went to a Middle Eastern market a few days ago and they did not have your beloved Knorr salad seasoning. They did have fresh almonds and chickpeas, though, which was fun. I'd never seen them in their husks before, much less had a chance to try them. 

This is it. It’s actually 10 items plus salt and fresh ground pepper, lol.

  • 1 medium eggplant, sliced in 3/8” ( two slices makes 1 serving)
  • 1-1 1/2 large beefsteak or heirloom tomato (you can sub with 1/2c good strained/finely chopped tomatoes)
  • 1/2 c favorite red pasta sauce or strained tomatoes, all good
  • 1/4 c Parmesan cheese
  • 8 oz fresh mozzarella
  • 3 Tbs fresh parsley, chopped, divided
  • 1 small onion, sliced
  • 1c panko
  • 2 garlic cloves
  • 4 tbs EVOO, divided

First, I cut a large eggplant into 3/8" slices. Liberally salt both sides and let them sit for 10 min on a wire rack. Mop up the water from both sides with a paper towel (this keeps the finished product from being soggy. In the alternative, less sodium, put the slices in the oven (same wire rack) for 10-15 minutes @ 400 degrees. 

Meanwhile, mince 2 cloves of garlic and add 2Tbs chopped fresh parsley. Mix them with a cup of Panko, 1/4c of grated or shredded parm, 2 tbs EVOO and 1/8-1/4 tsp fresh ground pepper to taste. Slice or tear 8oz fresh mozzarella and really good heirloom/beefsteak tomato into 3/8” slices. In the alternative, you can use about 1 cup of good tomato sauce.

OPTIONAL—

Sautée 1 small onion, sliced, in 1 tbs EVOO (1/2 a large one) with S&P to taste until translucent, not browned. Set aside. 

Finally, assemble the whole shebang—

In a casserole dish (I line it in parchment for easy removal) Layer the eggplant, slice of fresh tomato, sprinkle of salt, 1 Tbs of tomato sauce, mozzarella, 2Tbs of breadcrumb mix. Repeat for second layer of each. Bake for 30-45 min (depending on desired softness) at 400 degrees. Sprinkle reserved parsley for serving. 

If I use a large eggplant, I end up with extra slices.

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Edited by Sneezyone
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51 minutes ago, JennyD said:

I can forgive random recipe reviewers gone awry.  But recipe developers or cookbook authors who publish undertested recipes make me insane.  If I am using a recipe, it is because I am not familiar with the dish, and require YOU, the recipe developer, to figure out what works and what does not.*  If i want to waste time and ingredients, I can do that all by myself, thank you very much.  

*Along similar lines, I very much dislike this current trend of lecturing home cooks about how 'real cooks' don't need recipes and just add a pinch or this and a handful of that. Extra minus points if said lecturer is (a) a man; and/or (b) not the person in his or her household who is responsible for shopping for, preparing, and cleaning up after at least 75% of the meals.  

 

 

Nigella is sometimes guilty of not  re-testing recipes, much as I love her.

My standard for testing comes from a childhood being taught to cook by The Women's Weekly, in whose kitchen all recipes were triple-tested.  To this day, you can trust their recipes.

 

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How about the recipes writers who post a recipe then way down in the comments say something like “actually this didn’t set so I microwaved it for 10 minutes and then it set but slightly caramelised on the bottom but that’s ok because we liked it that way”!  Um that would have been super helpful information to actually include in the recipe.

typically I am more likely to substitute if using an internet recipe because it means I wasn’t organised enough to get the ingredients I needed so I’m trying to make something in a hurry on the fly.  

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3 minutes ago, Ausmumof3 said:

How about the recipes writers who post a recipe then way down in the comments say something like “actually this didn’t set so I microwaved it for 10 minutes and then it set but slightly caramelised on the bottom but that’s ok because we liked it that way”!  Um that would have been super helpful information to actually include in the recipe.

typically I am more likely to substitute if using an internet recipe because it means I wasn’t organised enough to get the ingredients I needed so I’m trying to make something in a hurry on the fly.  

Woa. I’ve never seen that in a recipe but that would really piss me off. 

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16 hours ago, JennyD said:

<snip>

*Along similar lines, I very much dislike this current trend of lecturing home cooks about how 'real cooks' don't need recipes and just add a pinch or this and a handful of that. Extra minus points if said lecturer is (a) a man; and/or (b) not the person in his or her household who is responsible for shopping for, preparing, and cleaning up after at least 75% of the meals.  

 

Oh yes. I'm tired of hearing/reading that real cooks don't need recipes.  Ugh, I am  a real cook - I cook a lot, for myself, family, and guests, thousands of meals over the past 40+ years. (Well, not guests for a long while now.) I love using recipes;. Sure, I can cook some things without one, but my range is bigger when I have recipes to follow. I love finding a new recipe that sounds good (and is from a trusted source) and following it to see if it's a keeper or not. (That doesn't mean I never modify - like others, I'll add or cut back on seasonings, etc., when I know an amount is off for my/my peoples' taste.) I love when a recipe gives me an opportunity to use an unfamiliar ingredient without wondering if it's going to go well in the dish. 

There's room in the cooking world for recipe followers and recipe wingers, no?

That said, I do like Sam Sifton and have the book in the linked review on hold at the library. (His book on Thanksgiving is a gem.) But I agree with the overall sentiment that there is nothing at all wrong with following recipes, measuring, etc. 

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