This has nothing to do with covid19 but is very important to my life right now

[Momto6inIN]

How do I get my almost 1 year old to stop waking up in the night???

She wakes up about 5 or 6 times per night. She's not upset, she rarely cries. But she stands up at the side of the crib and shakes the sides and it makes creaking noises until me or DH gets up and helps her go back to sleep. Occasionally (as in, it's happened a handful of times) she will stay laying down and roll around and eventually go back to sleep. But she almost always pops right up to standing and if we let her go and don't go in to help her she just keeps shaking the bars and eventually she starts to scream and is so wound up it takes even longer to put her back to sleep.

I am not a big fan of letting my children cry with no comfort offered at all, but we have tried letting her cry with only periodic checks/helping her lay down, but that can go on for hours without her ever really settling enough for me to sleep. And even if she does manage to self soothe enough to get back to sleep, it only lasts an hour or so and then she's awake again and we have to start the process all over again. My nerves can't take 4 or 5 hour long episodes of her screaming per night. I just can't do it.

My method of helping her is usually to cuddle her and rock her and she settles down quickly and I'm only up about 10 minutes with her. Until the next time, which is anywhere from 10 minutes to 3 hours later. I haven't noticed any pattern to the waking up times or intervals in between. She no longer nurses in the middle of the night, just in the early am and a few times during the day and at bedtime. I've tried nursing her every time she wakes up (even though I'd really rather not get into that habit) and she always takes it but doesn't drink much. Even if I can get her to drink some it doesn't reliably keep her sleeping for very long and we start all over again.

DH started handling nighttime wakings instead of me in the hopes that she would decide it's not worth it if she doesn't get to see me in the middle of the night. He usually doesn't get her out of bed, just cuddles her a bit over the edge and settles her back down. It seemed to help some at first - she went down to maybe 2 or 3 short wakings each night - but now it's gone back up to 5 or 6 even though he hasn't changed tactics.

I've tried bringing her into bed to sleep with us but she wakes up just as many times and rolls all over the place and periodically sits bolt upright and I don't get any more sleep with her there than I do when she's in her crib. DH is better able to sleep through kicks and rolls than I am and he takes her to the recliner sometimes and he says she's just as restless sleeping on him as she is in the crib and in our bed. She's just a really, really, really restless sleeper.

She's happy and well adjusted and content during the day and her development and eating patterns are totally normal. She's a delightful baby girl and I love her to pieces and we're so blessed to have her at this stage in our lives. But I'm 45, almost 46, and I'm too old for this LOL

What do I do??? What haven't I tried??? Please be gentle with me, but I really do want ideas.

[Momto6inIN]

She usually wakes up around 7:15ish. She takes a short 30-45 min nap mid-morning, then about an hour or so in the afternoon. By 5ish she's tired again and takes another 30-45 min nap while I make supper. She's had it and ready for bed by about 8:30 or 9 every night. Is that too much napping do you think?

[Jean in Newcastle]

Just tossing ideas out there:

a stuffy filled with lavender?  https://www.amazon.com/Warmies®-Microwavable-Lavender-Scented-Hippo/dp/B003B3C6PK

it says suitable for all ages but check to make sure that it is ok for children under 3 years old.

Is her diaper waking her up?  A different kind that keeps her drier?

I wouldn't have her have the late afternoon/evening nap.  Or at least I would try cutting it out. 

 

[Arctic Bunny]

Is something like acid reflux waking her up? I’m sorry, that sounds miserable. I think that was the point that I moved my two into the same bedroom, so I could say shhhh, don’t wake your brother.

[kbutton]

I would cut out the late afternoon nap. Is she snacking then? My kids get sleepy and cranky when they get tired, and they really just need a snack (and they are a teen and tween at this point). Maybe a snack would revive her enough to get through until bedtime. 

I had one kiddo kind of like this. Neither of my kids napped at all past 18 months (except under unusual circumstances), and prior to that, naps were pretty short. Anyway, my night waker is still a poor sleeper all the way around at age 12. When he was little and woke up, I learned to hold him while sleeping in a chair. He just couldn't sleep and didn't want to be alone. As he got a little older (toddler, he would play quietly on the floor in very low lighting, and I would sleep in a chair. He didn't wake up every night, but again, he wasn't sleeping during the day. When he did wake, it could be half an hour or up to six hours in the middle of the night. We never quite knew when it would happen or for how long, but it happened regularly.

He currently deals with his sleeplessness by reading, getting up for a snack, or lying on the couch until he gets sleepy again.

[Scarlett]

(((Hugs))) it has been 19 years since I went through that but I well remember the sheer exhaustion I felt.

[sweet2ndchance]

25 minutes ago, Momto6inIN said:

She usually wakes up around 7:15ish. She takes a short 30-45 min nap mid-morning, then about an hour or so in the afternoon. By 5ish she's tired again and takes another 30-45 min nap while I make supper. She's had it and ready for bed by about 8:30 or 9 every night. Is that too much napping do you think?

For the average almost 1 year old who is night waking, I'd say yes, that's too much napping. I had one kid who religiously took a 45 minute nap in the morning and 2 hours in the late afternoon until he was three years old but he didn't night wake. He slept clear through the night despite the 3 hours of naps during the day. But he was my odd one out. The rest had given up their morning nap by 10 - 11 mos in favor of one long 2 - 3 hour afternoon nap. I would try to get her toward one long good quality nap instead of lots of little power naps. I bet she's exhausted around 8 or 9 because she's not getting to deep sleep during those little naps all day. I would work toward eliminating the morning nap first, find something to keep her up and busy and try to get her to just after lunch for her first nap of the day. Once she has that down, hopefully the evening nap will take care of itself because she should be taking a good long afternoon nap instead of the two little naps.

That's what I would do and why, FWIW. HTH

[Clemsondana]

Every kid is different, but if my kids had taken 3 naps they would have been up all night.  They both gave up morning naps by 9 months and one gave up naps completely at 18 months (unless he fell asleep in the car) while the other still had an afternoon nap until around 2-2 1/2.  With both of them, it wasn't so much that they just quit falling asleep at the old  nap times as that they wouldn't sleep at the next time they were supposed to sleep - a 30 min morning nap would mean that they skipped the 1 1/2 hr afternoon nap, and with the one who gave up napping early it was because if he took an afternoon nap he stayed awake until midnight.  It was much easier to deal with a cranky kid at 6 pm than to still be up with a kid at midnight for me, although a family with a different schedule might have chosen differently.  We had to move snacks, walks, and meals around to keep energy levels reasonable, but in our situation it was easier to get them sleeping well at night even it meant the days were more difficult.  

[Denise in IN]

I've got nothing in the advice department, unfortunately, but I can (and will) pray.  It's got to be so exhausting to deal with night after night!  I will pray for your endurance and for a quick solution.  💙

 

Edited March 25, 2020 by Denise in IN

[Momto6inIN]

1 hour ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Just tossing ideas out there:

a stuffy filled with lavender?  https://www.amazon.com/Warmies®-Microwavable-Lavender-Scented-Hippo/dp/B003B3C6PK

it says suitable for all ages but check to make sure that it is ok for children under 3 years old.

Is her diaper waking her up?  A different kind that keeps her drier?

I wouldn't have her have the late afternoon/evening nap.  Or at least I would try cutting it out. 

 

She has a little lovey that she likes to sleep with, along with a paci. But it's not stuffed with lavender. When she was quite a bit younger she was getting really wet at night and I switched to the more expensive Pampers nighttime diapers and that helped. So I don't *think* that being wet is causing it, but it might be.

1 hour ago, arctic_bunny said:

Is something like acid reflux waking her up? I’m sorry, that sounds miserable. I think that was the point that I moved my two into the same bedroom, so I could say shhhh, don’t wake your brother.

My 8 year old is ... less than enthused about this idea LOL Right now she sleeps in the den right off of our bedroom. All the other bedrooms are upstairs. She will bunk with the 8 year old eventually, but I wanted to avoid having to go up and downstairs during the night if possible.

1 hour ago, CuriousMomof3 said:

That sounds rough.  I knew before I opened it that it would be about kids not sleeping!

I wonder if you could work hard on lying down and falling asleep by herself at the beginning of the night, and maybe at nap times, but just continue your routine for the night wakings until she's showing the skill at other times of the day.  

I know it would be easier for me to work on something like that when it's light out!

 

This is a good idea. Not sure how well it will work to put her down for a nap during the day without rocking her since she sleeps in the den and it's kind of in the middle of things and there's a lot of activity around, but maybe I should try it.

54 minutes ago, kbutton said:

I would cut out the late afternoon nap. Is she snacking then? My kids get sleepy and cranky when they get tired, and they really just need a snack (and they are a teen and tween at this point). Maybe a snack would revive her enough to get through until bedtime. 

I had one kiddo kind of like this. Neither of my kids napped at all past 18 months (except under unusual circumstances), and prior to that, naps were pretty short. Anyway, my night waker is still a poor sleeper all the way around at age 12. When he was little and woke up, I learned to hold him while sleeping in a chair. He just couldn't sleep and didn't want to be alone. As he got a little older (toddler, he would play quietly on the floor in very low lighting, and I would sleep in a chair. He didn't wake up every night, but again, he wasn't sleeping during the day. When he did wake, it could be half an hour or up to six hours in the middle of the night. We never quite knew when it would happen or for how long, but it happened regularly.

He currently deals with his sleeplessness by reading, getting up for a snack, or lying on the couch until he gets sleepy again.

I usually give her a snack around 4ish and then nurse her, so she's just had a snack right before the evening nap. Maybe i should make it a bigger snack, or try to hold her off til later.

51 minutes ago, sweet2ndchance said:

For the average almost 1 year old who is night waking, I'd say yes, that's too much napping. I had one kid who religiously took a 45 minute nap in the morning and 2 hours in the late afternoon until he was three years old but he didn't night wake. He slept clear through the night despite the 3 hours of naps during the day. But he was my odd one out. The rest had given up their morning nap by 10 - 11 mos in favor of one long 2 - 3 hour afternoon nap. I would try to get her toward one long good quality nap instead of lots of little power naps. I bet she's exhausted around 8 or 9 because she's not getting to deep sleep during those little naps all day. I would work toward eliminating the morning nap first, find something to keep her up and busy and try to get her to just after lunch for her first nap of the day. Once she has that down, hopefully the evening nap will take care of itself because she should be taking a good long afternoon nap instead of the two little naps.

That's what I would do and why, FWIW. HTH

All my other kids have taken an hour nap in the morning until 18 months, and a 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon til almost age 5! They all gave up the evening nap sometime around age 1, but kept the others for a while. And good sleep during the day always led to better sleep at night, and worse sleep during the day led to worse sleep at night, even though that always seemed counterintuitive to me. But I guess this kid is breaking my pattern 🙂

45 minutes ago, ClemsonDana said:

Every kid is different, but if my kids had taken 3 naps they would have been up all night.  They both gave up morning naps by 9 months and one gave up naps completely at 18 months (unless he fell asleep in the car) while the other still had an afternoon nap until around 2-2 1/2.  With both of them, it wasn't so much that they just quit falling asleep at the old  nap times as that they wouldn't sleep at the next time they were supposed to sleep - a 30 min morning nap would mean that they skipped the 1 1/2 hr afternoon nap, and with the one who gave up napping early it was because if he took an afternoon nap he stayed awake until midnight.  It was much easier to deal with a cranky kid at 6 pm than to still be up with a kid at midnight for me, although a family with a different schedule might have chosen differently.  We had to move snacks, walks, and meals around to keep energy levels reasonable, but in our situation it was easier to get them sleeping well at night even it meant the days were more difficult.  

 

It sounds like the official Hive consensus is that I need to cut out a nap or two during the day and see what happens. I am going to try to get her to give up the evening nap tonight. Wish me luck! 🙂

[happypamama]

Is she too warm? My own 1yo does not like his footie sleepers anymore, even when it is cold. He wants his feet bare and is happy in a onesie and pants. He kicks off all blankets so his feet can be bare. I notice that if I put him in a sleeper, he wakes much more, but in a onesie and pants, he sleeps great. 

[Tap]

It seems to me like she is just napping around the clock, and not really going to bed at night.  Her body isn't getting into a night time sleep routine. 

I absolutely would play around with her nap schedule. I would assume the last nap is the problem, but people's circadian rhythms are so different, it is hard to say.  It could be that her longest nap needs to stay and the two shorter ones go....or the opposite may be true, just keeping the one longer mid-day nap. 

You also may have to do less soothing at night. She may need it to be a bit more of a sterile, laying her back down and not saying anything to her.  Not harsh, just not cozy. 

Good luck! Lack of sleep makes it hard to stay on a schedule for everyone!

[Meriwether]

My 2nd child slept through the night before my first. I stopped giving her naps when she was less than 18 months old, and she still hardly slept. She is still my go go go kid. No advice, except to say that some kids just don't sleep much/well.

[ktgrok]

Try a cup of water and a snack when she wakes up. She may be hungry/thirsty. 

Try a dose of ibuprofen before bed, could be teething. 

Try a chiropractor visit. 

Accept it as 100 percent normal. (that's the option I've landed on after 4 kids with various sleep needs.)

[EKS]

I would definitely eliminate the third nap.

When she wakes at night, if you're dead set against letting her cry it out, go in there, settle her (not by taking her out of the crib), and leave.  Think Mr. Rogers on barbiturates.  Expect to have some bad nights.

If that doesn't work, I would then think about eliminating the morning nap.  Both of my kids gave up the morning nap before 18 months.

You might find that letting her cry it out works more quickly.  Both of my kids were younger, but it only took three nights.  And, FWIW, they're both well adjusted adults.

 

[MercyA]

My daughter was ready to give up ALL naps by about 1 1/2 years old. I fought it until she was about two, gave up, and then she slept beautifully at night. 🙂It seemed like the worst thing ever for my sanity for her to stop napping, but as it turns out, we were all much happier when she got good sleep at night. We still had a quiet time every day right after lunch, and if she really needed to fall asleep, she did. Rarely. 🙂 

So, yes, definitely, I'd say that's too much napping for this particular kiddo. 

I feel for you! 

[Jaybee]

3 hours ago, Momto6inIN said:

All my other kids have taken an hour nap in the morning until 18 months, and a 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon til almost age 5! They all gave up the evening nap sometime around age 1, but kept the others for a while. And good sleep during the day always led to better sleep at night, and worse sleep during the day led to worse sleep at night, even though that always seemed counterintuitive to me. But I guess this kid is breaking my pattern 🙂

This was pretty much my kids' pattern, and they were the same with good day sleep meant good night sleep. They were mostly good sleepers, though I did have one who was somewhat less predictable as to timing. I agree with others, though, that it sounds like she is only "napping" at night. Hoping for your sake that playing with her nap schedule helps get her into better sleep patterns. It really is so exhausting when you can't get good sleep yourself. Is she sleeping where she can't see you? I know our dgs started sleeping much better at night when they moved him to his own room (but like you, I wouldn't want to have to deal with stairs in the middle of the night). Hugs, momto6!

[ChrisB]

Several of mine were terrible sleepers.  By the last one, I tried a digestive enzyme because she had some failure to thrive issues.  Within 2 weeks of mixing the powder with her baby food, not only did she start gaining good weight, but her sleeping regulated to normal.  Wished I knew this for my olders because I'm convinced it would've helped their sleeping, too.  I'm just throwing this out there as something to consider regarding sleep issues.

[kbutton]

2 hours ago, Meriwether said:

My 2nd child slept through the night before my first. I stopped giving her naps when she was less than 18 months old, and she still hardly slept. She is still my go go go kid. No advice, except to say that some kids just don't sleep much/well.

By the time I was 18 months old, I slept 8 hours at night and zero naps. I sleep more now than when I was that age, lol! I was really busy all day but not frenzied or hyper. Somewhere around college that changed--I need a ton of sleep now.

[Momto6inIN]

 

1 hour ago, Ktgrok said:

Try a cup of water and a snack when she wakes up. She may be hungry/thirsty. 

Try a dose of ibuprofen before bed, could be teething. 

Try a chiropractor visit. 

Accept it as 100 percent normal. (that's the option I've landed on after 4 kids with various sleep needs.)

DH does het her a drink sometimes when she's been at it a while. We tried twice at the chiropractor and didn't notice much difference 😞

27 minutes ago, Jaybee said:

This was pretty much my kids' pattern, and they were the same with good day sleep meant good night sleep. They were mostly good sleepers, though I did have one who was somewhat less predictable as to timing. I agree with others, though, that it sounds like she is only "napping" at night. Hoping for your sake that playing with her nap schedule helps get her into better sleep patterns. It really is so exhausting when you can't get good sleep yourself. Is she sleeping where she can't see you? I know our dgs started sleeping much better at night when they moved him to his own room (but like you, I wouldn't want to have to deal with stairs in the middle of the night). Hugs, momto6!

She can't see me, but she knows I'm in the next room. DH says when he is up with her and I turn over in bed she looks towards the bedroom like she expects to see me come out. I wish there was somewhere else to put her on the same floor as our room but there's just not.

27 minutes ago, ChrisB said:

Several of mine were terrible sleepers.  By the last one, I tried a digestive enzyme because she had some failure to thrive issues.  Within 2 weeks of mixing the powder with her baby food, not only did she start gaining good weight, but her sleeping regulated to normal.  Wished I knew this for my olders because I'm convinced it would've helped their sleeping, too.  I'm just throwing this out there as something to consider regarding sleep issues.

I don't know anything about digestive enzymes. Are those like probiotics?

[RootAnn]

My first two still took long naps in the afternoon at age 5. My third kid stopped napping completely  (except on car rides) before 18 months. My later ones napped more than #3 but less than the first two. They are all so different. I well remember the exhaustion & the night time sleep battles with one of mine. I wish you much luck!

[ChrisB]

27 minutes ago, Momto6inIN said:

I don't know anything about digestive enzymes. Are those like probiotics?

Digestive enzymes help break down food while probiotics support overall health in the digestive tract.  Here's an article that explains the difference.  DD ate a ton, food and breastfeeding F/T, and was still failure-to-thrive w/me on a fairly restricted no-wheat/dairy diet.  Apparently she needed a digestive aid for her food.  Recommended by my health-nut mom, it was our last ditch effort before the dr. intervened, and it worked!!

Edited March 26, 2020 by ChrisB

[Katy]

How long has this been going on?  Could it be a couple-week teething related sleep regression, or has she never learned to sleep properly without needing you for comfort?  Has she been in her own crib since birth?

Is she hungry?

How does she act if you have her skip that last nap?

Have you ever tried "the pause" as I think that French parenting book calls it - where you ignore all sounds for 10 minutes unless she's really screaming?  What does she do when you do that?

[rebcoola]

Yeah I would go down to 2 naps to.  Wake windows 3-4 hrs.  Day nap no more than 3hrs total. 

Something like:

Wake 7

Nap 10-11

Nap 2-4

Bedtime 7:30

[J-rap]

No advice here, but a question.  Does anyone in your family (you or dh, or grandparents) have any sleep disorder?  My ds was like your dd, and even as an adult he struggles to sleep well, and I have a dd like that too.  It turns out my mother was like that all her life.  My ds did the 23and me testing and it actually told him that he had the genetic makeup that would cause him to not sleep well.   So, I think sometimes it's just in the genetic makeup.  My ds did eventually learn mediation and relaxation techniques that helped a lot.  Diet helps too.  I'm not sure how to help a toddler, except to try and get them in the habit of relaxing.  I'm really sorry -- you must be quite exhausted!!

[Momto6inIN]

10 hours ago, Katy said:

How long has this been going on?  Could it be a couple-week teething related sleep regression, or has she never learned to sleep properly without needing you for comfort?  It's been going on to some degree her whole life

Has she been in her own crib since birth? Yes 

Is she hungry? I've tried nursing but she does it halfheartedly and it doesn't make her sleep very long afterwards so I don't think so

How does she act if you have her skip that last nap? Just tried it last night and she slept all night!!!

Have you ever tried "the pause" as I think that French parenting book calls it - where you ignore all sounds for 10 minutes unless she's really screaming?  What does she do when you do that?  Yes - she keeps banging the sides of the crib and standing up and babbling and getting more and more awake 

 

8 hours ago, J-rap said:

No advice here, but a question.  Does anyone in your family (you or dh, or grandparents) have any sleep disorder?  My ds was like your dd, and even as an adult he struggles to sleep well, and I have a dd like that too.  It turns out my mother was like that all her life.  My ds did the 23and me testing and it actually told him that he had the genetic makeup that would cause him to not sleep well.   So, I think sometimes it's just in the genetic makeup.  My ds did eventually learn mediation and relaxation techniques that helped a lot.  Diet helps too.  I'm not sure how to help a toddler, except to try and get them in the habit of relaxing.  I'm really sorry -- you must be quite exhausted!!

Maybe? I've struggled with staying asleep and getting deep sleep ever since my 5th was born 8 years ago. I don't usually have trouble falling asleep initially, so most sleep aids don't work well and make me feel drugged so I avoid them. It seems to be hormone related because it improves when I have my period. It also works against my thyroid condition meds - when they bump my meds up a little bit to control symptoms I sleep worse, but when I'm a smidge undermedicated and have symptoms I sleep better. 🤷‍♀️ I've never had a sleep study though because they don't think it's sleep apnea (and I don't either.)

17 hours ago, Momto6inIN said:

She usually wakes up around 7:15ish. She takes a short 30-45 min nap mid-morning, then about an hour or so in the afternoon. By 5ish she's tired again and takes another 30-45 min nap while I make supper. She's had it and ready for bed by about 8:30 or 9 every night. Is that too much napping do you think?

I would say I don’t like the short nap at dinner, but for most kids that age I don’t think it is too much sleep overall.  I think I would try to keep her up in the morning and try to get her to take one longer nap in the afternoon.  One book I liked when my oldest was little was a bit harsh on the infant sleep training, but did show that sleep problems at night can be related to too little napping during the day.  One is pretty young, but I would work on a better nap time (so you can get one too) before working too much on night.  Alas, some kids like my niece just don’t need as much sleep.

[Momto6inIN]

I wrote this in my response to Katy above but wanted to make a separate post too ...

You guys, she slept all night last night!!!!

We skipped the evening nap and she ran out of gas around 7 but we took off her clothes and let her run around in just a diaper and she got a 2nd wind and went to bed around 8:45 and slept til 5:30, nursed, went back to sleep and slept til 7:45!!! I feel like a new woman.

I am not getting my hopes up that this is a pattern yet, as it's only been 1 night and she's randomly done that a couple of times before, but I am cautiously optimistic.

You'd think after 6 kids, I would have thought of it on my own, but many thanks to the Hive for all your input 🙂

[Jaybee]

Glad you got good sleep! Not exactly what you are experiencing, but it was always hard to me when my little ones were transitioning between sleep patterns, i.e., getting ready to drop a nap. They would get so tired and crabby without it, but would stay up too late with it until we finally got well-transitioned. Hope she keeps this up!

[kbutton]

13 hours ago, Momto6inIN said:

You'd think after 6 kids, I would have thought of it on my own, but many thanks to the Hive for all your input 🙂

Nah, not when your others were big sleepers, and the default is that most people think kids need MORE sleep not less.

[mommyoffive]

14 hours ago, Momto6inIN said:

I wrote this in my response to Katy above but wanted to make a separate post too ...

You guys, she slept all night last night!!!!

We skipped the evening nap and she ran out of gas around 7 but we took off her clothes and let her run around in just a diaper and she got a 2nd wind and went to bed around 8:45 and slept til 5:30, nursed, went back to sleep and slept til 7:45!!! I feel like a new woman.

I am not getting my hopes up that this is a pattern yet, as it's only been 1 night and she's randomly done that a couple of times before, but I am cautiously optimistic.

You'd think after 6 kids, I would have thought of it on my own, but many thanks to the Hive for all your input 🙂

 

Oh I remember that feeling.  I hope you get many 2 nights in a row and then some more. 

[HSmomof2]

On 3/25/2020 at 11:27 AM, Momto6inIN said:

How do I get my almost 1 year old to stop waking up in the night???

She wakes up about 5 or 6 times per night. She's not upset, she rarely cries. But she stands up at the side of the crib and shakes the sides and it makes creaking noises until me or DH gets up and helps her go back to sleep. Occasionally (as in, it's happened a handful of times) she will stay laying down and roll around and eventually go back to sleep. But she almost always pops right up to standing and if we let her go and don't go in to help her she just keeps shaking the bars and eventually she starts to scream and is so wound up it takes even longer to put her back to sleep.

I am not a big fan of letting my children cry with no comfort offered at all, but we have tried letting her cry with only periodic checks/helping her lay down, but that can go on for hours without her ever really settling enough for me to sleep. And even if she does manage to self soothe enough to get back to sleep, it only lasts an hour or so and then she's awake again and we have to start the process all over again. My nerves can't take 4 or 5 hour long episodes of her screaming per night. I just can't do it.

My method of helping her is usually to cuddle her and rock her and she settles down quickly and I'm only up about 10 minutes with her. Until the next time, which is anywhere from 10 minutes to 3 hours later. I haven't noticed any pattern to the waking up times or intervals in between. She no longer nurses in the middle of the night, just in the early am and a few times during the day and at bedtime. I've tried nursing her every time she wakes up (even though I'd really rather not get into that habit) and she always takes it but doesn't drink much. Even if I can get her to drink some it doesn't reliably keep her sleeping for very long and we start all over again.

DH started handling nighttime wakings instead of me in the hopes that she would decide it's not worth it if she doesn't get to see me in the middle of the night. He usually doesn't get her out of bed, just cuddles her a bit over the edge and settles her back down. It seemed to help some at first - she went down to maybe 2 or 3 short wakings each night - but now it's gone back up to 5 or 6 even though he hasn't changed tactics.

I've tried bringing her into bed to sleep with us but she wakes up just as many times and rolls all over the place and periodically sits bolt upright and I don't get any more sleep with her there than I do when she's in her crib. DH is better able to sleep through kicks and rolls than I am and he takes her to the recliner sometimes and he says she's just as restless sleeping on him as she is in the crib and in our bed. She's just a really, really, really restless sleeper.

She's happy and well adjusted and content during the day and her development and eating patterns are totally normal. She's a delightful baby girl and I love her to pieces and we're so blessed to have her at this stage in our lives. But I'm 45, almost 46, and I'm too old for this LOL

What do I do??? What haven't I tried??? Please be gentle with me, but I really do want ideas.

My dd (now 15) did this until she was 2. Nothing we tried worked. I read every book published on babies and sleep, saw the pediatrician multiple times, and even had her on the church’s prayer chain......I finally gave up and just started helping her get settled again when she woke. That way I was only up about 10 minutes each time but very much remember how totally exhausted I was those 2 years with constantly interrupted sleep—and I also had 3 year old and worked full time. It was brutal. On her 2nd birthday, she started sleeping through the night. I don’t know why......I would get rid of the late afternoon nap and then phase out the morning nap too. But at night, I’d do whatever you can that is the least disruptive and gets you the most sleep as possible. She won’t do this forever.....but I know it feels like it now.😊

[Momto6inIN]

8 hours ago, HSmomof2 said:

My dd (now 15) did this until she was 2. Nothing we tried worked. I read every book published on babies and sleep, saw the pediatrician multiple times, and even had her on the church’s prayer chain......I finally gave up and just started helping her get settled again when she woke. That way I was only up about 10 minutes each time but very much remember how totally exhausted I was those 2 years with constantly interrupted sleep—and I also had 3 year old and worked full time. It was brutal. On her 2nd birthday, she started sleeping through the night. I don’t know why......I would get rid of the late afternoon nap and then phase out the morning nap too. But at night, I’d do whatever you can that is the least disruptive and gets you the most sleep as possible. She won’t do this forever.....but I know it feels like it now.😊

Yeah, my oldest did this too, but I was 20 years younger then LOL and since he was my only at the time I could nap when he did. And he was a good napper, just not a good sleeper at night. What finally got him to sleep through was having baby #2 and since I was up with his brother he got DH instead of me and he decided it wasn't worth it anymore. I tried doing what all the books said and none of them worked and I went to my pediatrician in tears and he told me, "The books work for about 95% of kids. You got one of the 5%. Do whatever you have to do to get some sleep." I cried in relief and that pediatrician won my never-dying loyalty that day 🙂

[Momto6inIN]

Well, the 2nd night wasn't quite as good, but it was better than her normal. She was still restless and noisy (so I wasn't able to sleep great) but she didn't stand up in the crib and bang the bars like usual so we didn't go in and she was able to settle herself back to sleep on her own every time but twice. She did sleep in a nice stretch from 11 to 3:30 which felt good!

[Ausmumof3]

What worked with mine was a mattress on the floor in our room.  I could cuddle for a while and walk away without waking them up.

[Jean in Newcastle]

4 hours ago, Momto6inIN said:

Well, the 2nd night wasn't quite as good, but it was better than her normal. She was still restless and noisy (so I wasn't able to sleep great) but she didn't stand up in the crib and bang the bars like usual so we didn't go in and she was able to settle herself back to sleep on her own every time but twice. She did sleep in a nice stretch from 11 to 3:30 which felt good!

I would keep doing what you’re doing now. She’s going to need some time to get used to the new normal- just like we have to with Daylight Savings Time etc. 

Edited March 27, 2020 by Jean in Newcastle
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