kid who is 2.5 years from college, wants a pet....

[kfeusse]

my son who is half way through his sophomore wants a pet.  We do not live on a farm.  We are not really pet people.  I have a son who owns and cares for hermit crabs and my daughter has a few fish.  So, naturally my other son wants a pet.  He wants a soft cuddly pet.  

 

These are our concerns:

 

1) he is leaving in a couple years and then we will be "stuck" caring for his new friend

 

2) an expensive pet will require vet care from time to time...and that is expensive.  He doesn't have a job right now and we don't have extra money for vet bills.

 

3) twice a year we take a 2-3 week vacation and during the summer we camp for several days at a time.  We have a neighbor who care for the crabs and fish, but they are low maintenance for her...and to add a high maintenance pet would not be ideal.

 

4) my husband is a pastor and we live in a house that belongs to the church, so a free roaming critter will not work. 

 

So, what are our options.  I can't think of anything besides hamsters, gerbils and other critters like that...and we have been there and done that. 

 

But maybe someone here knows something I don't.

 

thanks.

 

 

[Sandragood1]

Raise a puppy for a service organization?

 

Take care of a military family’s pet for 1-2 years while they are overseas?

 

Rabbits?

[SJ.]

A pair of rats. They are clean, smart, affectionate, low maintenance, and they do not live very long.

[Jean in Newcastle]

He’s asking for a pet as a gift? Otherwise shouldn’t someone that age buy and take care of the financial obligations of their own pet?

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Catwoman]

He’s asking for a pet as a gift? Otherwise shouldn’t someone that age buy and take care of the financial obligations of their own pet?

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

In our house, animals have always been considered family pets, even if they were mainly for only one person. It would never occur to me to ask my child to pay for his own pet. If I agreed to the pet, I would assume that I would be paying for its care.

[Pawz4me]

What I'm "hearing" in your post is that you don't want a pet.

 

So I wouldn't get one.

 

It's not fair to an animal to be brought into a home where everyone isn't on board, and especially when the person/people who will eventually almost certainly need to care for that pet aren't on board. Pets are living things and they deserve to be wanted.

 

Fostering isn't a bad idea. He can have the company of an animal with minimal expense and be doing a very good deed, too.

[Catwoman]

What I'm "hearing" in your post is that you don't want a pet.

 

So I wouldn't get one.

 

It's not fair to an animal to be brought into a home where everyone isn't on board, and especially when the person/people who will eventually almost certainly need to care for that pet aren't on board. Pets are living things and they deserve to be wanted.

 

Fostering isn't a bad idea. He can have the company of an animal with minimal expense and be doing a very good deed, too.

:iagree:

 

I feel sorry for your son if he wants a pet and can’t get one, but in the end, you’ll probably be the one who is responsible for it, and if you don’t want that responsibility and the pet won’t be a sensible choice for your family’s lifestyle right now, I think you should probably just say no.

[GoodGrief]

my son who is half way through his sophomore wants a pet.  We do not live on a farm.  We are not really pet people.  I have a son who owns and cares for hermit crabs and my daughter has a few fish.  So, naturally my other son wants a pet.  He wants a soft cuddly pet.  

 

These are our concerns:

 

1) he is leaving in a couple years and then we will be "stuck" caring for his new friend

 

2) an expensive pet will require vet care from time to time...and that is expensive.  He doesn't have a job right now and we don't have extra money for vet bills.

 

3) twice a year we take a 2-3 week vacation and during the summer we camp for several days at a time.  We have a neighbor who care for the crabs and fish, but they are low maintenance for her...and to add a high maintenance pet would not be ideal.

 

4) my husband is a pastor and we live in a house that belongs to the church, so a free roaming critter will not work. 

 

So, what are our options.  I can't think of anything besides hamsters, gerbils and other critters like that...and we have been there and done that. 

 

But maybe someone here knows something I don't.

 

thanks.

 

At that age, I'd let the desire for a pet be one of the driving forces for financial independence :-)

 

[Renthead Mommy]

That is about a rat life span. And they are cuddly. Get pinkies and you can litter train them.

[KungFuPanda]

Say no, or get a hamster. My daughter campaigned aggressively for a dog when she was 9. She’s three years into college and I’m caring for him. Dh got a cat in high school and his mother took care of it most of the 18 years of its life.

 

Only get a pet if YOU want one. Your child can decide to have one in his own home when he’s grown. It’s easier to deal with a little disappointment than it is to care for a pet.

[catz]

I think it's fine to say no in a case like this.  If you can't envision the pet as yours also and get excited about it, don't do it.

[Loowit]

My youngest wants a dog.  He really, really wants a dog.  We are not in a place where we can have a dog at the moment, so the answer has been no.  He has become a volunteer at our local humane society where he can play with dogs and help care for them, and also spend time in the cat rooms if he wants.  It is not the same as having a pet at home, but does help some and it helps get across how much of a commitment pets are.

[kfeusse]

I can't imagine a rat being cuddly...but I won't dismiss it.

 

Fostering a pet?  Never heard of that.  How does that work?   Or maybe he should look into pet sitting for people...the fostering idea made me think about that.  

 

I thought about the humane society too...but we don't have one close...the closest one is 45 minutes away.  Would volunteering at a vet clinic be something he could do...or are there liability issues with that? 

 

If you know something about the fostering thing, tell me more.  

 

thanks.

[PinkTulip]

Do you have a neighbor or a friend with a dog or cat that he could pet-sit for a few hours a week? That might need his needs for a pet without you needing to take on the commitment.

[kfeusse]

Rats are WONDERFUL pets. Much more cuddly and personable than hamsters or gerbils, by and large. They are similar to a dumb dog. They learn their names, their people, beg or do tricks for treats, you name it. My favorite pocket pet, hands down. And their lifespans are short - which can be heart breaking, but in this case sounds just about right for your son.

 

WOW....I would never had guessed.  Are you talking like the little rats that you see at the typical pet store that are the same size as a hamster?  Or are they bigger than that?  How much would I expect to pay for a rat?  What kind of cage and what else do I need to know about caring for a rat? 

 

thanks.

[Pawz4me]

I can't imagine a rat being cuddly...but I won't dismiss it.

 

Fostering a pet? Never heard of that. How does that work? Or maybe he should look into pet sitting for people...the fostering idea made me think about that.

 

I thought about the humane society too...but we don't have one close...the closest one is 45 minutes away. Would volunteering at a vet clinic be something he could do...or are there liability issues with that?

 

If you know something about the fostering thing, tell me more.

 

thanks.

Most rescue groups and animal shelters are always in desperate need of foster homes. Many rescues keep all their pets in foster homes. Shelters need foster homes for pets with special needs. Typically the rescue group or shelter will pay for all veterinary care the foster pet needs. They may or may not provide food (that varies). Generally a foster is required to care for the pet, work on basic training and bring the pet to some adoption events. Many rescues and shelters will have fostering info on their websites.

 

I don’t think most vets have volunteers. None that I know of do.

[Kassia]

Rats are wonderful pets.  We got ours from a breeder.  But they did live for almost three years so you could be stuck taking care of them for a while after he leaves for school.  Our rats were about $50 for the pair - maybe a little less - and the cage was under $100.  We had a tall wire cage with multiple levels for them.  They are very smart and sweet.  

[kfeusse]

I am just shaking my head in disbelief.  I would have NEVER thought about a rat....ever....he has money and he has a birthday coming up....so this sounds like a possible idea.....are they stinky? are they hard to care for...need special things?

 

We live in rural Nebraska...I am wondering where in the world I would find a rat.  Do they need to be in pairs? or are they happy to be the lone rat in the cage?

[StephanieZ]

Guinea pigs can be very personable and they aren't messy and are easy to care for.

 

Cats are awesome and pretty easy to take care of. I can't fathom a church that wouldn't allow their pastor to have an ordinary pet or two in their church owned residence. (I'd find a new church if that were the case!)

 

Yes, you'll have to take care of it after he goes away to college. 

 

There can be profound mental health and social benefits to pet ownership, FWIW.

 

 

[hornblower]

Rats are inexpensive to acquire but not always inexpensive to keep. We have had rats for many years, and in addition to keeping our own, we often foster for a rat rescue. We  sometimes have a lot of rats here. Best cages in my opinion are double critter nations. https://www.walmart.com/ip/Critter-Nation-Double-Unit-with-Stand/17628995

 

but you have to get separate metal pans unless you want bedding all over the place.

But we also have Martin's. I have the 600 & the 685. http://www.martinscages.com/products/cages/rat/

 

(get the powder coated) 

We make & buy lots of hammocks for our guys. (kind of looks like this http://www.ratropolis.com/Graphics/RatTutorials/FullCage1.jpg ) 

 

Rat vet care is usually the same price as dog and cat. I just had a surgery on a rat (a lumpectomy). They need anesthesia and pain meds and antibiotics. Surgeries are usually 300 & up.  Spay & neuters run about $150. 

They must always be kept in pairs or more as they've very social (but you have to introduce adults carefully as they can fight). You can freerange your rats or set up a playpen for them. If you have fb, Dexter's Creature Comforts has lots of funny videos of her rats. I know the woman who runs it - I've bought a lot of her hammocks. My ungrateful rats just chew them up but they're fun while they last. https://www.facebook.com/DextersCreatureComforts/videos/1822196368079566/

 

Anyway - I love rats but like any pet, know what you're getting into & don't get them if your ds or you are not able to make the time & $ commitment. 

[eternalsummer]

Regardless of whether you get a rat or a dog or a cat, I think you'll have to basically consign yourself to taking care of this animal for years and possibly permanently. DH and I acquired a cat while I was in college (it was one of those "just take this cute kitten for a few weeks, we know someone who will take her after that" things which was of course a lie).  She lived with us for a year and that was fine, but after that we couldn't find a place that took pets that was within our budget so my parents took her.  My sister had goldfish with much the same story.  I think the fish were more trouble than the cat, honestly.

[Kassia]

 

We live in rural Nebraska...I am wondering where in the world I would find a rat.  Do they need to be in pairs? or are they happy to be the lone rat in the cage?

 

I found this breeder.  Not sure how far away this would be for you.  https://omahabluerattery.weebly.com/

[Tsuga]

He’s asking for a pet as a gift? Otherwise shouldn’t someone that age buy and take care of the financial obligations of their own pet?

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

Jean, you also once said something very wise about kids. A child's life is not over when they leave home. They can do what they want then they have their own house, including getting any number of pets, going skiing in the alps instead of eating meat all year, etc.

 

I keep that in mind all the time.

 

It strikes me as particularly salient in this situation.

[Catwoman]

I have a friend who fosters kittens and they are just so dang cute. She always has about three running around...and then about the time the cuteness starts to wear off, she sends them to adoption and gets a new threesome.

 

Actually, I have another friend who does this too.

 

They both love it.

I could never do that. I’d end up keeping all of them. I am such a sap when it comes to kittens!

[kfeusse]

I found this breeder.  Not sure how far away this would be for you.  https://omahabluerattery.weebly.com/

Omaha is 3 hours away from us....and we never go that direction.  thanks though.  That was very kind of you.

[Garga]

We have cats. My ds12 wants a dog, badly. We gently talk about how awesome it will be when he’s a grownup in his own place and he can get a dog. We talk about what kind he’ll get and all the fun things they’ll do. I tell him that doggies are sweet things and we love them, but it won’t work for us. But he’ll be an adult for a loooong time and when he’s an adult he can get a dog—or two or three!

 

I keep it very light and I daydream with him about how wonderful it will be. I try not to stomp on his desire for a dog. I tell him with a regretful tone why it won’t work for us (mild allergies, too many ticks in this area, the cats would be livid.).

 

He’s not happy about it, but it’s easier to accept that I am telling him no when I focus on the future.

 

If he gets a dog now, it’ll be my dog when he’s at school. It’ll be my dog when he’s home and working to pay off college debt. It’ll be my dog when he has an apartment that doesn’t allow pets. By the time it’s his dog, I won’t want to give it up! Better for him to get a dog when he can care for it from beginning to end.

[katilac]

He’s asking for a pet as a gift? Otherwise shouldn’t someone that age buy and take care of the financial obligations of their own pet?

 

 

Wow, how much do your kids make at their part-time jobs, lol?? 

 

A young teen can't truly take on the potential financial obligations of a pet. You can have them buy it and plan on routine vet bills (although that's a stretch for most teens), but the adults in the house have ultimate responsibility if things go sideways. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

Wow, how much do your kids make at their part-time jobs, lol??

 

A young teen can't truly take on the potential financial obligations of a pet. You can have them buy it and plan on routine vet bills (although that's a stretch for most teens), but the adults in the house have ultimate responsibility if things go sideways.

I actually misread the OP. I thought that her Ds was a sophomore in college, not high school. So much closer to being out in his own

[Amber in SJ]

My sister's kids have always had rats (in pairs.)  The current pair are females and one of them learned to open the cage (someone call NIMH)  Now they keep it closed with a giant binder clip on the outside.  They are smart, clean & cuddly.  They often ride on my sister's shoulder &  hide in her hair.  My nephew keeps them in the hood or pocket of his sweatshirt.

 

Amber in SJ

[Renthead Mommy]

Rats are great.  I agree the Critter Nation cages are the best.  But I'm sure others will do.   But the CN cage has a tray bottom not a wire bottom, so very easy to clean.  And like I said, young rats you can litter train.  Ours were a rescue and they were already a year old so they weren't getting into the litter training.  They liked the litter box, but as a place for all three to sleep together.  We saved the empty oatmeal round boxes and old tissue boxes (took out the plastic part) and they loved those.  

 

If they get a little smelly, you just give them a bath.  I'd put about a half inch of warm water in the bottom of the sink.  They'd walk around in it washing their belly and tails.  I'd wipe them down with a small rag and maybe a little bit of Dr. Bronner baby soap.  They would wash their own faces.  Then they would snuggle while wrapped in a towel to dry them off.  In summer when it was hot out, I'd put a casserole bowl with an inch or two of water and a handful of frozen peas.  They'd swim for the peas and we'd call that a bath. 

 

We had one start to really show his age and his back legs stopped working, but he was happy and still able to get himself around.  But then his brother lost his balance and fell and broke a leg.  They were three years old, 90ish in rat years the vet said.  We had just gotten orders and their was no way they would do well moving cross country so I had all three put to sleep.  (The third was healthy, but the least socialized and would have been lost without his brothers.)  The vet charged me $30 for all three and was able to use a cat dose to put them down.  

 

My son was just talking about his rats tonight.  He won second place in a pet show and earned his Pets merit badge with them.  We had promised him pet while living overseas.  Then moved to NYC/LI and were going so much we decided to wait.  At the next PCS he was promised for sure a pet. We chose a house from people we knew.  At the last minute the husband says Oh we changed our mind we don't want you to have pets.  I would have cancelled the lease signing but she kept saying don't worry I'll talk to him and stupidly we believed her.  So a cat was out.  The Rats ended up being a wonderful choice. 

[Renthead Mommy]

Another thing about the Critter Nation cages, you need an opposable thumb to open the cage! I felt much safer with that cage then the one the girl we adopted from gave us! LOL! 

[kfeusse]

what do they eat? and how much daily care is needed while we are on vacation? or camping for 3 days? will they be unhappy if they have to stay inside their cage for 2-3 weeks?  

[hornblower]

what do they eat? and how much daily care is needed while we are on vacation? or camping for 3 days? will they be unhappy if they have to stay inside their cage for 2-3 weeks?  

 

my guys eat rat block + vegetables + any of our leftovers which are not spicy or sugary. 

 

Their cages need cleaning weekly. Everything comes out, all their fabric things get washed, all hard surfaces get scrubbed in tub or on the deck. 

 

When we go out of town ours go to an experienced rat petsitter.

 

They're very social and yes, mine would be very unhappy about having to stay in their cage all the time. They like to come out & hang out with us and be groomed and play. 

[G5052]

We recently got a rescue dog. Mine are in college and live at home, but I am 100% on board. If I end up with the dog, it's fine with me. My daughter says she'll take the dog when she moves out, but who knows. If she does that, I'll get another dog. My husband was always anti-pet, but now I'm a single parent, so we got a dog. I wish we had gotten one a long time ago. 

 

Ours has to be walked twice a day and let out several times a day. I got pet insurance to cover any unexpected bills. 

 

If you get a dog, you're looking at 10-15 years of responsibility. Unless you can cover that, I'd say no.

[katilac]

I actually misread the OP. I thought that her Ds was a sophomore in college, not high school. So much closer to being out in his own

 

Thank goodness. I was starting to think my kids were slackers  :laugh:

[Happy2BaMom]

What about adopting an older dog? Longevity does depend on breed, but you could adopt a 10-year-old large dog, or a 13-year-old smaller dog, and....well, let's just say the timing might work out well. Your child would just need to understand, though, that no extended measures will be taken to keep said pet going beyond the pull date. 

 

You can use Petfinder.com to locate pets available for adoption and you can specify age ranges. Many come from foster homes, so you will know more about the pet & whether they are housebroken or have any issues. Many times older pets are hard to adopt out - so many people want young ones - and often times they end up dumped by a family who moves, divorces, etc., and many times older pets have a low adoption fee.

 

Any rescue organization around you will be looking for foster families, which sounds like that might be a very good option for your family. 

[jewellsmommy]

I can't imagine a rat being cuddly...but I won't dismiss it.

 

Fostering a pet?  Never heard of that.  How does that work?   Or maybe he should look into pet sitting for people...the fostering idea made me think about that.  

 

I thought about the humane society too...but we don't have one close...the closest one is 45 minutes away.  Would volunteering at a vet clinic be something he could do...or are there liability issues with that? 

 

If you know something about the fostering thing, tell me more.  

 

thanks.

 

Male rats are a little more laid-back and likely to cuddle. Girls are a little more rambunctious, but will also cuddle. I have had both male and female cuddlers. They are trainable and a lot of fun. You get them out, run them around and then they are ready to be still...like toddlers  :tongue_smilie:. 

[Familia]

I really regret not getting our eldest the Guinea pig he saved for!  Such innocent desires are fleeting!

He outgrew the desire and turned to other pursuits.  Knowing how affectionate he is with our cats, I know he would have loved it and continued that love throughout his maturation if he had acquired the fur bag.  

He didn't get it because DH and I, upon not being sure how to proceed, will occasionally choose the path of perfection.  Our researching for the perfect habitat led to too much time passing, and, then, the desire passing.

Two other instances...first, I cancelled a dog on order, warm and safe in the womb,  because I just didn't want the work.  (pets are mom work --  it is a fact of life that pets are mom work)  I was entering the 'in.the.car.all.the.time' stage and made a wise decision that broke DH's and children's hearts.  (do not you worry, Newfypoo is coming soon....just 8 years later!)

Also, our youngest began her Angora goat business (sells fleeces/yarn) complete with companion donkey and mule, at age 16.  Old enough to pay for it (all), but old enough to risk leaving before they are dead (let us not mince words).  Am I scared they will become ours?  You betcha!

 

 

Edited February 2, 2018 by secretgarden

[GoodGrief]

I really regret not getting our eldest the Guinea pig he saved for!  Such innocent desires are fleeting!

 

Our 14 year old daughter somewhat resents her former seven year old self who just HAD to have the baby guinea pigs that were at the gym. The teen is totally over those guinea pigs who continue to live on and on and on, requiring caretaking from her. LOL

[Catwoman]

I shouldn’t have read this thread.

 

Now I’m starting to want a couple of rats.

[DawnM]

I shouldn’t have read this thread.

 

Now I’m starting to want a couple of rats.

 

Oh, not me!  :ph34r:

[DawnM]

OP, I would just tell your son that he will need to wait until he has his own place someday.  

 

I would not get any pet I didn't want there once the child leaves.  I can't handle cats because of allergies, and I would not want a rodent or a reptile, so my kids would have to either take the animal to college with them or let me rehome it.  Not worth it if it is only 2.5 years IMO.

[jewellsmommy]

I shouldn’t have read this thread.

 

Now I’m starting to want a couple of rats.

 

Take the plunge! They are wonderful. Dd trained the rattie in my avatar (Buttercup) to pull up a basket and get a treat out, to run a maze, walk a tight-rope, pose for pictures... :lol: .  Look up rat tricks on youtube and you'll see a lot of fun things that older kids and teens (or adults) do with their rats.

[JFSinIL]

Another vote for Ratty here.  DS had one.  It was friendly and he enjoyed it.  But check with neighbor first - would caring for a rat creep her out?  If there anyone else who could take the cage and be a rat-sitter?

 

Otherwise fostering sounds good, as long as he won't get too attached.  Our local shelter is always looking for foster families.  Foster "failures" are when the person ends up adopting the fostered pet himself  (they like this kind of "failure" and I suspect it is one of the reasons for the fostering program.  If they can get that furry friend in a house odds are it will too hard to not adopt).

Edited February 2, 2018 by JFSinIL

[SparklyUnicorn]

Don't do it.

 

My son wanted a rabbit.  I said yes.  I just know I'm going to be the one taking care of this rabbit forever.  LOL  And I have 2 cats.  I don't mind which is why I didn't say no. 

[jewellsmommy]

Just remember that ratties are social pets...it is best for them to be in a group of 2 or more. And honestly, 2 rats are no more work than 1 rat. You also get the added benefit of an extra personality, such that one may be more cuddly and the other more outgoing. We have that combo right now.

[Katy]

Oh heck no, not unless a rat works.  I would suggest he go volunteer at a local animal shelter.  Animals in need of affection and walks will get them, and he'll get a good dose of the reality of caring for pets without bringing them into the parsonage or you taking on an obligation you don't want.

 

Any way you can go to the elders of your church and ask them to issue a ruling that furry pets are not allowed in the parsonage due to allergen concerns?  Then you could genuinely say, "Sorry son, furry pets are not allowed here because our mission is to love people even people with animal allergies, not pets.  If you irresponsibly get one you can't keep at college it will have to go to a shelter."

 

If the need for a pet is a sign of need for increased love and affection, you might want to have the love languages discussion with him, and talk about other ways for him to feel loved.

 

ETA:  One of my friends that fosters now has FOUR dogs because she fosters for a no-kill shelter and no one wanted them.  Which would be fine if she didn't live in a tiny apartment and work long hours.

Edited February 2, 2018 by Katy

[Pawz4me]

Another vote for Ratty here.  DS had one.  It was friendly and he enjoyed it.  But check with neighbor first - would caring for a rat creep her out?  If there anyone else who could take the cage and be a rat-sitter?

 

Otherwise fostering sounds good, as long as he won't get too attached.  Our local shelter is always looking for foster families.  Foster "failures" are when the person ends up adopting the fostered pet himself  (they like this kind of "failure" and I suspect it is one of the reasons for the fostering program.  If they can get that furry friend in a house odds are it will too hard to not adopt).

 

I agree that there are lots of foster failures. I've failed multiple times!

 

But in general I don't think rescues really like it. Most people who fail as fosters just keep the pet they adopt and don't continue fostering. And there are so many animals in need. Rescue groups truly value "professional/career" foster homes. 

[Kassia]

Can you contact the rat breeder and ask if they know of someone closer to you who breeds rats?  

 

When we had rats, we had a girl who was in 4-H watch them while we went on vacation.  She did a great job.  I wouldn't leave them alone for more than an overnight trip.  We gave ours the blocks of food plus some fresh food every day - oats, dried pasta, veggies/fruit...

[mommyoffive]

Well thanks to threads this week I am looking into getting a dog again and thinking about having a baby.  ARHG