if you are an introvert....

[SparklyUnicorn]

and would consider joining a meetup (or social) group, what kind of group would appeal to you?

 

I know, probably sounds like social and introvert would be completely contradictory, but I don't necessarily think many introverts are against socializing if it is the right kind of socializing. 

[Sandragood1]

An interest based group. Personally, I love learning so something educational. I don't necessarily mean classes Just an opportunity to learn while doing. E.g. Master Gardeners.

[marbel]

"Social" and "introvert" are not contradictory.  I am a shy introvert, and I like to socialize, though I have my preferences on how I do it.  Some social groups I have joined:

 

- hiking groups, a general one and one specifically for single people 

 

- weekly social gathering for singles working in high-tech (obvs back in my single days, and where I met my husband).  This started as a weekly pub get-together and grew to include other things like baseball games, mini-golf, etc

.

- knitting/handcraft group

 

- book discussion group

 

Basically these were all things I liked to do, so I enjoyed them even if there weren't any compatible people.  In fact, I enjoyed the general hiking group much better than the singles group, where there seemed to be an air of desperation to meet someone. 

 

ETA: Now I'm not sure I understood the question!  

 

 

Edited May 16, 2017 by marbel

[Guest]

Hmmm.....well for me, assuming this is for adults: Smallish and without a lot of fanfare (I.e no complicated meals, pot lucks, etc to host .). I can't handle the queen of the PTA type women organizations if that makes sense. Oh and no ice breaker type games or forced speeches. And no MLM allowed!!

[SparklyUnicorn]

Hm...this is tough.  LOL

 

I thought about starting a group, but I don't think I have a theme. 

 

All my interests generally don't involve other people.   :laugh:

[Professormom]

Hmmm.....well for me, assuming this is for adults: Smallish and without a lot of fanfare (I.e no complicated meals, pot lucks, etc to host .). I can't handle the queen of the PTA type women organizations if that makes sense. Oh and no ice breaker type games or forced speeches. And no MLM allowed!!

What she said:)

[regentrude]

I am not an introvert, but my DH and DS are.

They would only join a group that has a clear purpose besides socializing:a climbing group (because you cannot climb on your own), a judo club (because you cannot judo with yourself). If they had different interest areas, chess club, choir, etc. Anything where the fcus is on the joint activity. 

They would never join a group whose sole purpose is socializing, and most likely not a group for an activity they could just as well do on their own (DH is an avid hiker but would never join a hiking group)

Edited May 16, 2017 by regentrude

[marbel]

I forgot one:  homeschool moms group.  We met at a cafe, drank coffee and talked about homeschooling and other things.  This was separate from a homeschool support group and not a co-op, just a group of hs moms getting together.

Edited May 16, 2017 by marbel

[PrincessMommy]

Hm...this is tough.  LOL

 

I thought about starting a group, but I don't think I have a theme. 

 

All my interests generally don't involve other people.   :laugh:

 

you never know what might work.   Weaving doesn't really involve other people and it isn't something you can take to the coffee shop and hang with friends whilst doing (like knitting).   

 

But, I am part of a study group with the theme "Sewing with Handwovens".  We get together once a month and share what we are working on, bring samples, patterns, etc.  Generally we talk and encourage each other with our projects.  There is light refreshments and tea/coffee but that's it.  

[SparklyUnicorn]

There ARE a lot of specific interest groups, but none of them appeal to me.  It's not that I don't have interests though.

 

Hmmm

 

 

[BarbecueMom]

Something not superficial, but not very personal. That seems contradictory, I know. I don't want to do some gabby social group with food rotations and spouse griping (and dear lord no MLMs). But on the other hand, I don't want to tie my personal hobbies to liking the other people involved, so I can scram when the crazy starts (and it always does) without throwing a wet blanket on my own interests.

 

Anything where you have to open yourself up just to participate (like book clubs, or parent groups) is a big ol' nope.

 

I could probably handle a board game group. Something where the attention is on a "thing" and not the people attending.

[Bootsie]

I would be more likely to go to join a group focused on some type of service project.

[SparklyUnicorn]

 

I could probably handle a board game group. Something where the attention is on a "thing" and not the people attending.

 

A board game group is highly appealing to me.  But I don't necessarily know how to play all the various games and worry about that part.  And then what if I end up with people who are too serious about playing the games? 

 

 

 

 

[Rachel]

I'm an introvert and I've joined both hiking groups and book clubs. Does it cost anything to start the group? If not, go for it.

[Guest]

Something that I wish more organizations/groups would consider:  there are all kinds of people in the world, and that's a good thing because that way everything can get done.  

 

Waaaay a long time ago, like 17 years, when my son was in preschool, I had a little eye-opener.  There was this really really really extroverted mom who had some great stuff to share about parenting, preschool-transition-to-elementary school, etc., but it came out in a little parking lot chat that she didn't want to do a presentation because she hated all the "back room" stuff that had to happen...setting up chairs, designing a brochure, a poster, setting out a little refreshment stand, etc.  And this other gal who kind of hung out with us, but never said much, piped up and said, "Oh I would LOVE to set up chairs and set up the refreshment stand!  The thought of giving a presentation terrifies me, but I would love to do the invisible helping stuff!" and another lady, similar, would LOVE to do the brochure and posters and put them up all over town.  

 

It was kind of cool because we were all together only because our CHILDREN were, but there was a way for everyone to contribute.  

 

I do back-room kinds of things at our parish...maintaining a file box with a folder for each family, putting sand in the candle stands, cleaning up after meals, that sort of thing.  I love doing this...but please God never put me on the parish council where we would have to have discussions or resolve disagreements or anything like that.  :0)

 

And I think this kind of resonates with the idea above that the group needs to be about something *other* than socializing.  It also needs to allow for people to participate as they can, depending on how fried they are from their recent over-socializing due to graduations, weddings, family reunions, etc.

 

 

[BarbecueMom]

A board game group is highly appealing to me. But I don't necessarily know how to play all the various games and worry about that part. And then what if I end up with people who are too serious about playing the games?

That's kinda what I worry about. I want to find people that aren't there just to drink and pretend to play a game, but also not over the top obsessed with winning.

 

Learning new games wouldn't bother me too much. Kind of like a "try it before you buy it" thing. Not like I have any more room in the game closet to buy anything.

[Alicia64]

I keep hoping to find a certain dog breed "meet up." But so far no luck.

[EMS83]

Hmmm.....well for me, assuming this is for adults: Smallish and without a lot of fanfare (I.e no complicated meals, pot lucks, etc to host .). I can't handle the queen of the PTA type women organizations if that makes sense. Oh and no ice breaker type games or forced speeches. And no MLM allowed!!

 

I love this post.  :D

[displace]

A board game group is highly appealing to me. But I don't necessarily know how to play all the various games and worry about that part. And then what if I end up with people who are too serious about playing the games?

Maybe something a little structured, like one person brings a game and teaches it to the others, and a rotation schedule. I think if you're posting on a local Facebook or homeschool group, if you word it you can do it fairly relaxed.

 

Are you part of Mensa? That may be an option. Or a local book club. Or if you have an interest/hobby you can still do it socially (sometimes). Think of all the knitting circles. You can knit by yourself. But a bunch of people knit together.

 

Maybe a smallish volunteer group?

[MaeFlowers]

A board game group is highly appealing to me. But I don't necessarily know how to play all the various games and worry about that part. And then what if I end up with people who are too serious about playing the games?

Barnes and Noble used to host a game night. I don't know if they still do or if you have one near you but it might be something you could check out. You could go and watch and get a feel for how they do things first. I've thought about going but I always forget things like that.

[Guest]

You need a math club for adults. :D Maybe some of y'all can occasionally play violin. Move to Texas and we'll make an introvert club. We won't make you serve carbs or anything at our gatherings.

 

With the game thing- the great part is if you aren't the organizer and you don't like it you can just leave! Seems very no pressure. Highly appealing to this introvert. As is knowing the group can carry on just fine if I don't feel like making an appearance. I say you give it a go.

[SparklyUnicorn]

You need a math club for adults. :D Maybe some of y'all can occasionally play violin. Move to Texas and we'll make an introvert club. We won't make you serve carbs or anything at our gatherings.

 

With the game thing- the great part is if you aren't the organizer and you don't like it you can just leave! Seems very no pressure. Highly appealing to this introvert. As is knowing the group can carry on just fine if I don't feel like making an appearance. I say you give it a go.

 

yeah I don't like to play violin with other ppl...too nervous!

 

but the rest sounds good

 

I don't know what I'm looking for exactly. 

[Carol in Cal.]

I would love a group that does slow, 3-6 hour hikes in wild, natural settings.

All the hiking groups I know of are for hotdoggers or serious hardcore backpackers, or 1 hour hikes at a shuffle.  I'm in between those.  Surely I'm not the only one?

[Alice]

I really enjoy the book club I am in. 

 

I've also enjoyed small groups from our church that meet to discuss a book or topic. For example, every summer our assistant pastor picks a book and we meet weekly to talk about it, chapter by chapter. We've also done a group that pairs a book with several movies that we watched together and discussed. The trick is picking a book that is meatier and asks to be read slowly and discussed. One good thing about this approach is that there is an obvious end if it's not working well...and if it is working well you can pick another book or topic. 

 

I would enjoy a walking/hiking group for the accountability of exercise but I do that with dh now so don't need one. 

 

I would also probably join and enjoy a group that did some kind of service together. I was very involved with Habitat for Humanity for awhile and that was sort of a social group in that the same people went weekly. We have started volunteering semi-regularly at a food bank and it's obvious that the regular volunteers know each other well and it's sort of a social thing as well as service. 

Edited May 16, 2017 by Alice

[bookbard]

I think Lori Pickert's guide to introverts is a good one - start your own group, that way it remains within your control. I felt really isolated once I had kids but have ended up starting quite a few different groups, and if you start them yourself, the group can be whatever you want. Decide on what you want, let people know, and the people who are similar to you will come join in. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I would love a group that does slow, 3-6 hour hikes in wild, natural settings.

All the hiking groups I know of are for hotdoggers or serious hardcore backpackers, or 1 hour hikes at a shuffle.  I'm in between those.  Surely I'm not the only one?

 

Locally there are a ton of hiking groups.  I like hiking in theory (have done it a few times), but I have bad seasonal allergies and I really don't want Lyme's disease.  So that kinda puts a damper on that idea.  LOL

[SKL]

A hiking group sounds wonderful!

 

A book discussion group, though I might not be able to keep up with the reading.  (But no politics in the discussion.)

 

I would love to do hands-on volunteer work with a constant group of nice people.

 

In real life, I wouldn't be able to justify taking the time for a social group for myself.  Maybe someday.

[LMD]

For meeting people cold? something low pressure, easy to come and go without being rude. In a comfortable location, and I am 99% likely to need to bring a kid.

Something like an open coffee/chat at the park.

[Hyacinth]

For meeting people cold? something low pressure, easy to come and go without being rude. In a comfortable location, and I am 99% likely to need to bring a kid.

Something like an open coffee/chat at the park.

Interesting. I would avoid an open coffee/chat. Open is too vague. I don't drink coffee. And chatting is the worst form of socializing for this introvert.

 

I'd prefer something structured. And no nametags.

Edited May 16, 2017 by Hyacinth

[MEmama]

We joined a cycling group this year but haven't worked up the nerve to actually go on any rides yet. Lol.

 

Group stuff is hard.

Edited May 16, 2017 by MEmama

[Guest]

A group that allows me not to look at people or engage in conversation, so like a knitting group or or something else that keeps my focus.

[marbel]

I would love a group that does slow, 3-6 hour hikes in wild, natural settings.

All the hiking groups I know of are for hotdoggers or serious hardcore backpackers, or 1 hour hikes at a shuffle.  I'm in between those.  Surely I'm not the only one?

 

I know what you mean.  When I lived in the SF Bay Area, the Sierra Club had a lot of different types of hikes.  IIRC there were hikes every weekend, of varying intensity, so it was easy to pick a hike that would work.   Maybe even some weeknight evening  hikes... not sure about that though.  I may be mixing up hiking with them and hiking with friends after work. 

[LMD]

Interesting. I would avoid an open coffee/chat. Open is too vague. I don't drink coffee. And chatting is the worst form of socializing for this introvert.

 

I'd prefer something structured. And no nametags.

hmm, yes now that I think about it, it's always been centred around something so that conversation is built in.

so more like, 'we will be at x place for y activity between these times, come and join us'

 

 

also, I am an introvert but I organise a lot of stuff and enjoy chatting to new folks. I'm not shy, I just need to hibernate the rest of the week to recover. So draining!

[marbel]

Interesting. I would avoid an open coffee/chat. Open is too vague. I don't drink coffee. And chatting is the worst form of socializing for this introvert.

 

I'd prefer something structured. And no nametags.

 

For me, there would have to be a topic and someone to start.  Maybe a short speaker on the topic - not really formal, but something to get it started.   I could see going to one of those, and the majority starting to talk about a topic i know/care nothing about.  Then I'd be sitting there, maybe asking a question or two, but really being unable to participate.  A discussion group of some kind could be good.  

[MEmama]

I would love a group that does slow, 3-6 hour hikes in wild, natural settings.

All the hiking groups I know of are for hotdoggers or serious hardcore backpackers, or 1 hour hikes at a shuffle. I'm in between those. Surely I'm not the only one?

My 81 yo dad leads a hiking group like that. They are very adventurous and most of the hikes are physically demanding within reason; it's an eclectic group to be sure. I think he's in a different area of CA than you though.

[bzymom]

It is so timely that you posted this.  This past weekend I was on Meetup for the first time in many years looking for....something....

 

I also don't know ​what.

 

​Lowkey...welcoming...fun without being LOUD :biggrinjester: ...inexpensive...no pressure...nobody looking directly at me :001_unsure:

 

Nothing really appealed to me, so I was looking into starting a group.  The only thing I can come up with so far is crocheting/knitting/needlework.  But do I have the nerve to actually start something?  I have been mulling it over, and leaning toward the idea of adding a service element.  Perhaps making blankets for Project Linus?

 

But I don't particularly want to create a group of people just like me who will sit quietly and crochet or knit.  I bore myself.  :blush: 

 

So I will follow this thread and hope for some great inspiration!

 

 

[marbel]

So I decided to go to meetup.com and look at stuff in my area.  I did see a coffee and chat group!  But there are no clues as to the "type" of people - retired?  stay home moms?  They meet during the week at 10am so they are not people with typical M-F, 9-5 jobs.

 

I could never go to something like that.  Not knowing anything at all about the people would be so hard.  

 

But, meetup.com is pretty interesting. There are lots of different groups.  My husband and I used to like wine-tasting and took classes; it would be fun to join a wine group. 

[Rosie_0801]

At this point in life, I'm interested in a group where we achieve something. I've got ideas and very few skills for implementing them. Talking can be fun, but sometimes I get tired of not having the power, knowledge, experience, connections or capital to accomplish things.

[Guest]

and would consider joining a meetup (or social) group, what kind of group would appeal to you?

 

I know, probably sounds like social and introvert would be completely contradictory, but I don't necessarily think many introverts are against socializing if it is the right kind of socializing.

I am an introvert but I like to be involved in regularly occurring social group. I was in a cooking club that was GF/DF; I really enjoyed that but the membership fizzled out. I belong to a book club. I belong to a Bunco (dice game) group that is really mostly just talk/drink/snack and play games once in a while. I would like yo be in a regularly-meeting game group, like board games, but I am not in one at present.

[MistyMountain]

I am hoping to find a group to attend to but there is nothing in my area when I looked that really fit. I am mostly with the kids and I like them to be able to make friends too so it had to be something that is kid friendly. I went to one book club for a freethinkers group and I enjoyed it but they never held another. Maybe it did not go as well as thought. I like hiking groups but the parent ones tend to be very baby and toddler heavy. I like having conversations and meeting people but it can also be very awkward or make me feel worse too. I like the idea of board games but I agree that it could not be either too hyper competitive or the opposite in that the games are not really a big part of it.

[SparklyUnicorn]

It is so timely that you posted this.  This past weekend I was on Meetup for the first time in many years looking for....something....

 

I also don't know ​what.

 

​Lowkey...welcoming...fun without being LOUD :biggrinjester: ...inexpensive...no pressure...nobody looking directly at me :001_unsure:

 

Nothing really appealed to me, so I was looking into starting a group.  The only thing I can come up with so far is crocheting/knitting/needlework.  But do I have the nerve to actually start something?  I have been mulling it over, and leaning toward the idea of adding a service element.  Perhaps making blankets for Project Linus?

 

But I don't particularly want to create a group of people just like me who will sit quietly and crochet or knit.  I bore myself.  :blush:

 

So I will follow this thread and hope for some great inspiration!

 

I toyed with the idea of calling it an introvert group or somehow working that part in.  Would that be very off putting to you?  Not me...OH HELL I'd jump on that.  LOL 

 

Low key...I like that.  I can't crochet or anything, but even sitting among people doing whatever.  I get along with people and am not really shy, but it takes me 100,000 years to get to know people and feel comfortable with them. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

Months ago I signed up with an atheist group and I get their e-mails.  I have yet to go. I almost went to one meeting.  But as time goes by and I see the sorts of gatherings they do, I don't think it's what I'm really looking for.  They are into atheist activism.  I am not into that.  They do do some social stuff...sounds good to me...  But I don't want to talk about atheism or engage in rah rah about atheism.  So...eh.....probably not.

 

 

[TechWife]

How about a book club or a current event discussion group? 

[bzymom]

I toyed with the idea of calling it an introvert group or somehow working that part in.  Would that be very off putting to you?  Not me...OH HELL I'd jump on that.  LOL 

 

Low key...I like that.  I can't crochet or anything, but even sitting among people doing whatever.  I get along with people and am not really shy, but it takes me 100,000 years to get to know people and feel comfortable with them. 

The word introvert does not put me off.  There are actually a number of groups within 25 miles of my home that come up if I put "introvert" in the meetup search box.  So I guess what I am looking for is something for introverts with a commonality that is not simply that we are all introverts!  lol

[SparklyUnicorn]

The word introvert does not put me off.  There are actually a number of groups within 25 miles of my home that come up if I put "introvert" in the meetup search box.  So I guess what I am looking for is something for introverts with a commonality that is not simply that we are all introverts!  lol

 

Yeah a specific activity makes sense...I just can't think of one!

[MercyA]

I like my Mom's Night Out group. Five or six of us (all homeschooling moms from the same co-op) get together for a meal and chat for a couple hours. Usually we do a very relaxed potluck. We just bring whatever we feel like, store-bought or homemade. Sometimes we do a pizza and games night. At Christmas we go to a restaurant. Very low-key with minimal planning. Some of the ladies are talkative and some aren't. We laugh a lot. It's a good time.

[Wheres Toto]

In the past, I've enjoyed a book club with church, although I ended up feeling a little out of place after a while.   I think I would enjoy a different book club.

 

I also used to do Mom's Night Out with my Mom's Club group when the kids were little.  That was enjoyable.

[heartlikealion]

I'd join a sewing group if they taught me to sew lol. Then we'd meet up and work on a project(s). I'd also join a movie group where we picked out movies to go see together. Maybe some months I don't go because the movie doesn't interest me or I don't have the money.

 

A long time ago I tried hosting a goth meetup group. It was hard to get people to RSVP for anything and then the site started charging money so I stepped down as organizer and I think the group just vanished by doing that. We just had similar interests and met up at a coffee shop once. We maybe saw each other again in other settings like a goth night at the club.

 

Also years ago I had a weekly bowling night I organized with coworkers.

 

I love the Mom's Night Out thing. I have only been to a few of those and was disappointed the co-op hardly ever did them.

 

I don't really have the time for a book club plus I mostly read for information but I like the sound of them in theory.

 

Game nights also sound good until I think about them too much. People like to play games I might not be familiar with or have anxiety about (I have anxiety about card games with math/numbers. I think I have dyscalculia so this makes sense. Also the reason I never want to play banker in games like Monopoly! Probably also why I don't like traditional Yahtzee. I only like the ones with cartoon pictures on the dice).

 

[Rachel]

What about checking to see if your library or extension office offers anything you might be interested in attending? I am always amazed by the number of people who show up to learn about canning or basket weaving or any other number of things I thought only a handful of people might like. Even if you just go once or twice I assume you are trying to find a way to meet some like minded new friends.

[laundrycrisis]

Hmmm.....well for me, assuming this is for adults: Smallish and without a lot of fanfare (I.e no complicated meals, pot lucks, etc to host .). I can't handle the queen of the PTA type women organizations if that makes sense. Oh and no ice breaker type games or forced speeches. And no MLM allowed!!

 

 

A group like this, if it was around a very specific interest.  Also not too demanding or time consuming to participate in.