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Ann.without.an.e

By Ann.without.an.e,
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Ann.without.an.e

Ann.without.an.e

Posted
Posted (edited)

A lady purchased something from me over 3.5 years ago.  She asked if I could hold it for her for a few months and sent me a check.  I held it for months.  Finally she decided she wanted to meet me to get it.  It is 4 pieces that weigh 50 pounds each.  I haul it into my car.  She doesn't show.  She calls and says she's sorry.  A few months later she sets a new place/time and I haul it back into my car and she calls before we've met and cancels.  This repeats two more times.  I continue to hold this for her and make no big deal out of it, but I do tell her that she must come to my house if she wants it because I am not loading it in my car again.  She emails me 6 months ago (3 years later) and wants to see if her son can pick it up.  I tell her I am not even sure we have it (I forgot about it, honestly).  She gets very snarky and upset about the fact that I may not have it.  I check the barn and email her and say "we do still have it, yay".  We Haul it to the front porch and her son never shows.  So I send her an email ultimatum.  X item needs to be gone by July 15th or we are donating it.  She emails and says she regrets it but we should just donate it.  Ok, she calls me Sunday morning and asks if I have gotten around to donating it yet.  We haven't and I am stupid enough to admit it so now she wants to meet me again to try to pick it up and she wants me to come all the way close to her house, which is 45 minutes away.  And she more than likely won't show or will back out after I load it.  WTH, ya'll!  Seriously, I told her over 3 years ago that I wasn't loading it again and yet she is now demanding that I need to meet her to get her the items.  I should have just lied and said I donated it.  I'm so over this.

 

 

ETA:  When I posted this item for sale, it was high demand and I had several people want it but she emailed first so I held it for her.  

Edited by Attolia
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Ann.without.an.e

Ann.without.an.e

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You must be a saint. I'd have told her to shove off years ago. What the heck is wrong with her???

 

 

My DH is convinced she's cra-zy.  I'm now inclined to agree.

 

Oh and he would use the word pushover for me, rather than saint  :lol:  :crying:

Edited by Attolia
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OneStepAtATime

OneStepAtATime

Posted
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Refund the money if you feel you should but do not drive anywhere to meet her.  Don't do it.  And don't have her come to your house.  What if she shows up, hauls it off, then decides there are things about it she thinks you need to fix and harasses you?  Refund the money if you feel you should and wash your hands of her.  Cut all contact.

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J-rap

J-rap

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Wow, what a crazy!  I wouldn't drive anywhere to meet her.  If she wants to drive to your house by the end of the week (set the deadline), then she can.  I would not feel that I owed her a refund.  After the deadline, feel free to try and sell it again!  

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regentrude

regentrude

Posted
Posted (edited)

It boggles my mind that you put up with this crazy for three years.  This is simply ridiculous.

Do not attempt to deliver.

Give her a one week notice and then donate. And next time do that after the second failed pickup/delivery attempt.

 

ETA: As for refund: write her an itemized bill that refunds her money but charges her for the delivery attempts and storage, and make sure the total comes out to a neat zero.

Edited by regentrude
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Renthead Mommy

Renthead Mommy

Posted
Posted

Refund her money (assuming you got money from her???) and clean your hands of her.

 

 

Oh Hell no!

 

She either picks it or doesn't.  If she doesn't you do NOT owe her a refund after all that time. 

 

She owes you for your time, your labor in moving it and for storage.  At this point if I did actually see her, I might present her with a bill for more! 

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Stacia

Stacia

Posted
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She emails and says she regrets it but we should just donate it.

 

I would make sure I have this in writing (keep the email), donate the item, & do not give a refund. Even though she paid you for it, she never claimed it in over 3 years & she has now given you permission to dispose of it.

 

Be done with it.

 

Don't give her your address & don't respond to any more emails or contact from her.

 

That's what I would do anyway.

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UCF612

UCF612

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I don't think you need to refund her. You've gone above and beyond. 3 years! That's insane. If you'd been the one cancelling then you'd need to refund but seriously she's crazy. And don't meet her! She needs to come to you.

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Renthead Mommy

Renthead Mommy

Posted
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Did you cash the check?  If you did, you either owe her a refund or the item.  If you haven't cashed the check, I would send it back to her and would tell her that you are not willing to bring it to her. 

 

 

If she hasn't cashed that check after 3.5 years, it is probably not cashable by now.  

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EmseB

EmseB

Posted
Posted (edited)

On our online yardsale group someone gets 24 hours to make arrangements to pick something up and if they no-show it goes to the next person (and they get blocked from the group).

 

You have been way nicer, WAY nicer than necessary.

 

ETA: I can't get over three years! Seriously, just walk away from her crazy!

Edited by JodiSue
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OneStepAtATime

OneStepAtATime

Posted
Posted

It boggles my mind that you put up with this crazy for three years.  This is simply ridiculous.

Do not attempt to deliver.

Give her a one week notice and then donate. And next time do that after the second failed pickup/delivery attempt.

 

ETA: As for refund: write her an itemized bill that refunds her money but charges her for the delivery attempts and storage, and make sure the total comes out to a neat zero.

I agree 100%.  

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cintinative

cintinative

Posted
Posted

On our online yardsale group someone gets 24 hours to make arrangements to pick something up and if they no-show it goes to the next person (and they get blocked from the group).

 

You have been way nicer, WAY nicer than necessary.

 

ETA: I can't get over three years! Seriously, just walk away from her crazy!

 

I was going to say this also.  A single no-show would mean that I move to the next person in line. I have heard every excuse you can imagine. I don't have time for that.  No show=no item. 

 

For some reason I am operating under the assumption that 1) she hasn't paid you and 2) you are an extremely longsuffering person. If this is the case, please just let it go. Donate the item. Don't even think about trying to get her to pick it up.  And if this was posted on some type of sales forum/facebook site, or even Craigslist, report her. Please. 

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OneStepAtATime

OneStepAtATime

Posted
Posted (edited)

In rereading I realize I am not clear if you ever cashed her check.  If the check was never cashed, then mail it back to her, if you still have it, and tell her you are no longer selling the item.  Cut contact. 

 

If you never cashed it but you no longer have the check, then tell her you don't have it and since it has been over 3 years the check is probably no longer valid anyway.  Tell her clearly and in no uncertain terms that you are no longer going to sell the item to her.  Please stop contacting you.

 

If you actually cashed the check, then send her an itemized bill showing the money she sent you minus your time/gas/years of storage of said item reducing what is owed her to zero, as mentioned up thread.

 

Do NOT let this woman impact your life any longer.  Seriously.  You are the one allowing this mess to continue.  It is nice that you tried to help her but enough is enough.  For her sake, too, you need to CUT CONTACT.  Stop messing with this.

 

ETA: And seriously, I would NOT have this woman come to my home.  She may be quite lovely but she may also be something else entirely.  You may be opening up a bigger can of worms.  Just end this.  

Edited by OneStepAtATime
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gardenmom5

gardenmom5

Posted
Posted (edited)

 

 

if she  wants it - she can come and get it.  you'll leave it out for her - so she should hop to it before it rains . . . ;p

 

eta: and next time, donate faster. You can still donate.  either a truck comes to you, or you have a time you can take it.  that's how long she has.

I agree - NO refund.  you've spent time and gas loading and unloading trying to accommodate her.  just, enough.

 

 

Edited by gardenmom5
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Ann.without.an.e

Ann.without.an.e

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Yes, I did cash the check.  She said for me to go ahead and cash it since there were several other people interested and I was holding it for her instead of moving next in line (not a mistake I'll ever make again).  At the time she said she really wanted it to give to her son and she didn't personally have room for it. I never imagined she would do this - who in their right mind does this?  

 

If I deducted gas and storage, she would owe me money.  Like for real.  

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PrincessMommy

PrincessMommy

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Posted

Yes, I did cash the check.  She said for me to go ahead and cash it since there were several other people interested and I was holding it for her instead of moving next in line (not a mistake I'll ever make again).  At the time she said she really wanted it to give to her son and she didn't personally have room for it. I never imagined she would do this - who in their right mind does this?  

 

If I deducted gas and storage, she would owe me money.  Like for real.  

 

If she's not asking for a refund then I wouldn't even consider it after 3yrs and several delivery attempts.  If she asks, then send her an itemized bill.

 

 

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Grover

Grover

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What on earth is it that she still wants it after 3 years?

I'd tell her it can be picked up before X date otherwise it is donated. 

IF she had the balls to ask for a refund I'd provide her with an itemized bill - except I would NOT make it zero.  I'd make it clear that she owes you money, but you are, from the goodness of your heart, writing that off if she goes away. 

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Amy in NH

Amy in NH

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Posted

You should not even consider refunding her money.  You attempted delivery twice, made arrangements for her to pick up, and now it should be considered abandoned property.  Give her one day notice to come pick it up at your property, and if she doesn't show then quickly donate it. 

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Guest

Guest

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Posted

You should not even consider refunding her money. You attempted delivery twice, made arrangements for her to pick up, and now it should be considered abandoned property. Give her one day notice to come pick it up at your property, and if she doesn't show then quickly donate it.

Bingo. And then cut off all contact, but keep your records of call, attempts, and emails just in case she goes nuts on you.

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TX Native

TX Native

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A theory only.....I think she is needing cash quickly, thought about any desperate way to get cash, remembered she paid for something she never received 3 years ago, and thinks out of the goodness of your heart you will refund the money since she never received the item. She probably wasn't an expecting, "come get it by x date if you still want it" after 3 years..she was expecting "I sold it to someone else and forgot to refund your money" response. The "come pick it" response shocked her. So she waited thinking surely by now you would have donated so thought if she contacted you again you might say "I donated it now, but since you never received it will give you the money back." You not offering to refund the money has threw her plan for loop. She really wants her money back, but knows she will get flack if she asks for it. Just a theory. Another theory, she is crazy.

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mom@shiloh

mom@shiloh

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You should not even consider refunding her money.  You attempted delivery twice, made arrangements for her to pick up, and now it should be considered abandoned property.  Give her one day notice to come pick it up at your property, and if she doesn't show then quickly donate it. 

 

Agreeing with this 100%.  

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Ann.without.an.e

Ann.without.an.e

Posted
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It was actually 4, 50# buckets of sealed wheat.  I said "item" to keep from having to go into details.  I should have known ya'll couldn't have handled the vagueness :lol:  :lol:  :lol:   We went GF a few years ago, I sold my grain mill, and I listed these for sale on a local co-op forum.  I had so many people interested but she asked first.

 

 

After she called to cancel again, saying she couldn't make our planned time this morning, I drove 45 minutes to her mobile home today and I left them on her front porch.  I hope it was the right house because there wasn't a number anywhere  :crying:   I should have done it a long time ago.  DH didn't want me to go alone to the middle of nowhere in an area I know nothing about it or I would have done it earlier.  I just did today and didn't ask him  :rolleyes:   I wanted to be done with this lady.  When I had given her a "pick up by X" date and she didn't show and still had the guts to call me three weeks after that date, I knew this wasn't going to end until I hauled it there.

 

 

ETA:  I was praying she wouldn't come out of her trailer.  If she had I seriously considered just putting up my hand, like "stop" don't go there, don't talk to me....putting the wheat on her porch and walking away.

Edited by Attolia
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Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted

It was actually 4, 50# buckets of sealed wheat. I said "item" to keep from having to go into details. I should have known ya'll couldn't have handled the vagueness :lol: :lol: :lol: We went GF a few years ago, I sold my grain mill, and I listed these for sale on a local co-op forum. I had so many people interested but she asked first.

 

 

After she called to cancel again, saying she couldn't make our planned time this morning, I drove 45 minutes to her mobile home today and I left them on her front porch. I hope it was the right house because there wasn't a number anywhere :crying: I should have done it a long time ago. DH didn't want me to go alone to the middle of nowhere in an area I know nothing about it or I would have done it earlier. I just did today and didn't ask him :rolleyes: I wanted to be done with this lady. When I had given her a "pick up by X" date and she didn't show and still had the guts to call me three weeks after that date, I knew this wasn't going to end until I hauled it there.

 

 

ETA: I was praying she wouldn't come out of her trailer. If she had I seriously considered just putting up my hand, like "stop" don't go there, don't talk to me....putting the wheat on her porch and walking away.

Good for you! And now you can breathe a huge sigh of relief knowing you are once and for all done with the cray-cray.

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Miss Tick

Miss Tick

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Posted

Good for you! And now you can breathe a huge sigh of relief knowing you are once and for all done with the cray-cray.

Until she tries to thank you, or more likely has a question or complaint about the "item". I bet she calls you to say she doesn't think she wants it after all. Don't answer!

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