Ann.without.an.e Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 (edited) A lady purchased something from me over 3.5 years ago. She asked if I could hold it for her for a few months and sent me a check. I held it for months. Finally she decided she wanted to meet me to get it. It is 4 pieces that weigh 50 pounds each. I haul it into my car. She doesn't show. She calls and says she's sorry. A few months later she sets a new place/time and I haul it back into my car and she calls before we've met and cancels. This repeats two more times. I continue to hold this for her and make no big deal out of it, but I do tell her that she must come to my house if she wants it because I am not loading it in my car again. She emails me 6 months ago (3 years later) and wants to see if her son can pick it up. I tell her I am not even sure we have it (I forgot about it, honestly). She gets very snarky and upset about the fact that I may not have it. I check the barn and email her and say "we do still have it, yay". We Haul it to the front porch and her son never shows. So I send her an email ultimatum. X item needs to be gone by July 15th or we are donating it. She emails and says she regrets it but we should just donate it. Ok, she calls me Sunday morning and asks if I have gotten around to donating it yet. We haven't and I am stupid enough to admit it so now she wants to meet me again to try to pick it up and she wants me to come all the way close to her house, which is 45 minutes away. And she more than likely won't show or will back out after I load it. WTH, ya'll! Seriously, I told her over 3 years ago that I wasn't loading it again and yet she is now demanding that I need to meet her to get her the items. I should have just lied and said I donated it. I'm so over this. ETA: When I posted this item for sale, it was high demand and I had several people want it but she emailed first so I held it for her. Edited August 10, 2016 by Attolia 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IfIOnly Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 Just donate it. If it'll make you feel better, give her on last ultimatum to pick it at Your place. When she doesn't show, just get rid of it ASAP! 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 You must be a saint. I'd have told her to shove off years ago. What the heck is wrong with her??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie in VA Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 You're a better person than I. At this point? I'd rather burn it than make one more attempt to get it to her. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 Refund her money (assuming you got money from her???) and clean your hands of her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann.without.an.e Posted August 8, 2016 Author Share Posted August 8, 2016 (edited) You must be a saint. I'd have told her to shove off years ago. What the heck is wrong with her??? My DH is convinced she's cra-zy. I'm now inclined to agree. Oh and he would use the word pushover for me, rather than saint :lol: :crying: Edited August 8, 2016 by Attolia 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 Did you cash the check? If you did, you either owe her a refund or the item. If you haven't cashed the check, I would send it back to her and would tell her that you are not willing to bring it to her. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 No. Taking it to her house is not an option with this history. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 Refund the money if you feel you should but do not drive anywhere to meet her. Don't do it. And don't have her come to your house. What if she shows up, hauls it off, then decides there are things about it she thinks you need to fix and harasses you? Refund the money if you feel you should and wash your hands of her. Cut all contact. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IfIOnly Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 Refund her money (assuming you got money from her???) and clean your hands of her. Do you think a refund is neccessary? Is there a legal reason? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 Wow, what a crazy! I wouldn't drive anywhere to meet her. If she wants to drive to your house by the end of the week (set the deadline), then she can. I would not feel that I owed her a refund. After the deadline, feel free to try and sell it again! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IfIOnly Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 (edited) If you do refund for some reason, I would consider deducting my gas money and time calling, driving, and waiting, plus charge a storage fee. Sheesh. Edited August 8, 2016 by ifIonlyhadabrain 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Tick Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 After three years of storage I'm not even sure a refund would be strictly necessary. Can you get her address and just leave it lb her front porch? 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 (edited) It boggles my mind that you put up with this crazy for three years. This is simply ridiculous. Do not attempt to deliver. Give her a one week notice and then donate. And next time do that after the second failed pickup/delivery attempt. ETA: As for refund: write her an itemized bill that refunds her money but charges her for the delivery attempts and storage, and make sure the total comes out to a neat zero. Edited August 8, 2016 by regentrude 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 Refund her money (assuming you got money from her???) and clean your hands of her. Oh Hell no! She either picks it or doesn't. If she doesn't you do NOT owe her a refund after all that time. She owes you for your time, your labor in moving it and for storage. At this point if I did actually see her, I might present her with a bill for more! 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 She emails and says she regrets it but we should just donate it. I would make sure I have this in writing (keep the email), donate the item, & do not give a refund. Even though she paid you for it, she never claimed it in over 3 years & she has now given you permission to dispose of it. Be done with it. Don't give her your address & don't respond to any more emails or contact from her. That's what I would do anyway. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UCF612 Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 I don't think you need to refund her. You've gone above and beyond. 3 years! That's insane. If you'd been the one cancelling then you'd need to refund but seriously she's crazy. And don't meet her! She needs to come to you. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 Did you cash the check? If you did, you either owe her a refund or the item. If you haven't cashed the check, I would send it back to her and would tell her that you are not willing to bring it to her. If she hasn't cashed that check after 3.5 years, it is probably not cashable by now. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmseB Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 (edited) On our online yardsale group someone gets 24 hours to make arrangements to pick something up and if they no-show it goes to the next person (and they get blocked from the group). You have been way nicer, WAY nicer than necessary. ETA: I can't get over three years! Seriously, just walk away from her crazy! Edited August 8, 2016 by JodiSue 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 No need to refund the money. Storage fees alone for 3 years and multiple wasted trips is what she paid for. Now it is up to her to either pick it up or let it go. Don't deliver to her 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 It boggles my mind that you put up with this crazy for three years. This is simply ridiculous. Do not attempt to deliver. Give her a one week notice and then donate. And next time do that after the second failed pickup/delivery attempt. ETA: As for refund: write her an itemized bill that refunds her money but charges her for the delivery attempts and storage, and make sure the total comes out to a neat zero. I agree 100%. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 On our online yardsale group someone gets 24 hours to make arrangements to pick something up and if they no-show it goes to the next person (and they get blocked from the group). You have been way nicer, WAY nicer than necessary. ETA: I can't get over three years! Seriously, just walk away from her crazy! I was going to say this also. A single no-show would mean that I move to the next person in line. I have heard every excuse you can imagine. I don't have time for that. No show=no item. For some reason I am operating under the assumption that 1) she hasn't paid you and 2) you are an extremely longsuffering person. If this is the case, please just let it go. Donate the item. Don't even think about trying to get her to pick it up. And if this was posted on some type of sales forum/facebook site, or even Craigslist, report her. Please. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 (edited) In rereading I realize I am not clear if you ever cashed her check. If the check was never cashed, then mail it back to her, if you still have it, and tell her you are no longer selling the item. Cut contact. If you never cashed it but you no longer have the check, then tell her you don't have it and since it has been over 3 years the check is probably no longer valid anyway. Tell her clearly and in no uncertain terms that you are no longer going to sell the item to her. Please stop contacting you. If you actually cashed the check, then send her an itemized bill showing the money she sent you minus your time/gas/years of storage of said item reducing what is owed her to zero, as mentioned up thread. Do NOT let this woman impact your life any longer. Seriously. You are the one allowing this mess to continue. It is nice that you tried to help her but enough is enough. For her sake, too, you need to CUT CONTACT. Stop messing with this. ETA: And seriously, I would NOT have this woman come to my home. She may be quite lovely but she may also be something else entirely. You may be opening up a bigger can of worms. Just end this. Edited August 8, 2016 by OneStepAtATime 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 (edited) if she wants it - she can come and get it. you'll leave it out for her - so she should hop to it before it rains . . . ;p eta: and next time, donate faster. You can still donate. either a truck comes to you, or you have a time you can take it. that's how long she has. I agree - NO refund. you've spent time and gas loading and unloading trying to accommodate her. just, enough. Edited August 8, 2016 by gardenmom5 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann.without.an.e Posted August 8, 2016 Author Share Posted August 8, 2016 Yes, I did cash the check. She said for me to go ahead and cash it since there were several other people interested and I was holding it for her instead of moving next in line (not a mistake I'll ever make again). At the time she said she really wanted it to give to her son and she didn't personally have room for it. I never imagined she would do this - who in their right mind does this? If I deducted gas and storage, she would owe me money. Like for real. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 Yes, I did cash the check. She said for me to go ahead and cash it since there were several other people interested and I was holding it for her instead of moving next in line (not a mistake I'll ever make again). At the time she said she really wanted it to give to her son and she didn't personally have room for it. I never imagined she would do this - who in their right mind does this? If I deducted gas and storage, she would owe me money. Like for real. If she's not asking for a refund then I wouldn't even consider it after 3yrs and several delivery attempts. If she asks, then send her an itemized bill. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 What an unusual situation! If you don't mind sharing...what is it? 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs_JWM Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 That was my question, too, Happi! 😊 Sent from my XT1049 using Tapatalk 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertBlossom Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 Can we make guesses as to what it is? Lol! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamiof5 Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 After 3 years of storage, loading, unloading, traveling to meet her etc, you owe her nothing. Just say no, kindly but firmly. She can come pick it up, and warn her that if she does show up you will not take her call once more. Enough is enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 I would block the lunatic and never speak to her again and NO do not refund her any money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grover Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 What on earth is it that she still wants it after 3 years? I'd tell her it can be picked up before X date otherwise it is donated. IF she had the balls to ask for a refund I'd provide her with an itemized bill - except I would NOT make it zero. I'd make it clear that she owes you money, but you are, from the goodness of your heart, writing that off if she goes away. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aura Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 My dd wants to know if the buyer has been high for 3.5 years? She also said OP should drive to the buyers house and dump the thing in her yard. (Dd was being snarky, btw.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 I'd probably refund the money so she has zero reason to contact you again. Is this a relative?? And, please, share what this coveted item is!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 I know you don't need to refund the money. However, I'd want to just avoid further discussion. So I'd refund. At the same time I'd put her email and phone on block. If she contacts under other email and phone I'd block them too. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 You should not even consider refunding her money. You attempted delivery twice, made arrangements for her to pick up, and now it should be considered abandoned property. Give her one day notice to come pick it up at your property, and if she doesn't show then quickly donate it. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zarabellesmom Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 I really really want to know what the item is! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 You should not even consider refunding her money. You attempted delivery twice, made arrangements for her to pick up, and now it should be considered abandoned property. Give her one day notice to come pick it up at your property, and if she doesn't show then quickly donate it. Bingo. And then cut off all contact, but keep your records of call, attempts, and emails just in case she goes nuts on you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TX Native Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 A theory only.....I think she is needing cash quickly, thought about any desperate way to get cash, remembered she paid for something she never received 3 years ago, and thinks out of the goodness of your heart you will refund the money since she never received the item. She probably wasn't an expecting, "come get it by x date if you still want it" after 3 years..she was expecting "I sold it to someone else and forgot to refund your money" response. The "come pick it" response shocked her. So she waited thinking surely by now you would have donated so thought if she contacted you again you might say "I donated it now, but since you never received it will give you the money back." You not offering to refund the money has threw her plan for loop. She really wants her money back, but knows she will get flack if she asks for it. Just a theory. Another theory, she is crazy. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom@shiloh Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 You should not even consider refunding her money. You attempted delivery twice, made arrangements for her to pick up, and now it should be considered abandoned property. Give her one day notice to come pick it up at your property, and if she doesn't show then quickly donate it. Agreeing with this 100%. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie in VA Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 I really really want to know what the item is! :iagree: I hope the OP spills this info and soon! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann.without.an.e Posted August 10, 2016 Author Share Posted August 10, 2016 (edited) It was actually 4, 50# buckets of sealed wheat. I said "item" to keep from having to go into details. I should have known ya'll couldn't have handled the vagueness :lol: :lol: :lol: We went GF a few years ago, I sold my grain mill, and I listed these for sale on a local co-op forum. I had so many people interested but she asked first. After she called to cancel again, saying she couldn't make our planned time this morning, I drove 45 minutes to her mobile home today and I left them on her front porch. I hope it was the right house because there wasn't a number anywhere :crying: I should have done it a long time ago. DH didn't want me to go alone to the middle of nowhere in an area I know nothing about it or I would have done it earlier. I just did today and didn't ask him :rolleyes: I wanted to be done with this lady. When I had given her a "pick up by X" date and she didn't show and still had the guts to call me three weeks after that date, I knew this wasn't going to end until I hauled it there. ETA: I was praying she wouldn't come out of her trailer. If she had I seriously considered just putting up my hand, like "stop" don't go there, don't talk to me....putting the wheat on her porch and walking away. Edited August 10, 2016 by Attolia 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoffive Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 You are a saint. I am glad you will be done with her. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 It was actually 4, 50# buckets of sealed wheat. I said "item" to keep from having to go into details. I should have known ya'll couldn't have handled the vagueness :lol: :lol: :lol: We went GF a few years ago, I sold my grain mill, and I listed these for sale on a local co-op forum. I had so many people interested but she asked first. After she called to cancel again, saying she couldn't make our planned time this morning, I drove 45 minutes to her mobile home today and I left them on her front porch. I hope it was the right house because there wasn't a number anywhere :crying: I should have done it a long time ago. DH didn't want me to go alone to the middle of nowhere in an area I know nothing about it or I would have done it earlier. I just did today and didn't ask him :rolleyes: I wanted to be done with this lady. When I had given her a "pick up by X" date and she didn't show and still had the guts to call me three weeks after that date, I knew this wasn't going to end until I hauled it there. ETA: I was praying she wouldn't come out of her trailer. If she had I seriously considered just putting up my hand, like "stop" don't go there, don't talk to me....putting the wheat on her porch and walking away. Good for you! And now you can breathe a huge sigh of relief knowing you are once and for all done with the cray-cray. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 Thanks for spilling the details! Yay you! I'm glad you're done. You *did* go above and beyond! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samm Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 You're a nice person who went above and beyond. World needs more nice people like you. And unloading all that wheat must satisfy the GF in you! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Tick Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 Good for you! And now you can breathe a huge sigh of relief knowing you are once and for all done with the cray-cray. Until she tries to thank you, or more likely has a question or complaint about the "item". I bet she calls you to say she doesn't think she wants it after all. Don't answer! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 Now you are done with it. Put her phone number and email on block. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UCF612 Posted August 10, 2016 Share Posted August 10, 2016 Wow...just wow and I never would have guessed what it was! Does wheat not go bad? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann.without.an.e Posted August 10, 2016 Author Share Posted August 10, 2016 Wow...just wow and I never would have guessed what it was! Does wheat not go bad? Sealed the way it was, it is supposed to last for 20-30 years. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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