mommybee Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 Three years ago today I got a text from my husband of 18 years that was meant for the girlfriend I didn't know he had. He used terms of endearment to her that I thought were special to me. It broke my heart and changed my life. I haven't healed from it. He moved out and has never wanted to come back even when I was weak and willing to try again. I'm heading to work now but I could really just use some prayers and good energy sent my way today. I can't talk to anyone about it and especially my mom who is very dismissive of my pain. She loves to say I need to get over it and that hurts me. I hate being alone. TIA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aiden Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 I'm so sorry :( I just said sa prayer for you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cammie Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 :grouphug: Hugs. ​ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 :grouphug: Vent away. Some people are just plain jerks. I'm sorry you know one so intimately. I wish there were more that could be done to "fix" things like this. :grouphug: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 Oh, I am sorry... There is no time limit on grief... Hugs to you today. Anne 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJosMom Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 :grouphug: and a prayer for comfort and healing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 (Hugs) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 Sending good thoughts your way. Regards, Kareni 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 Sending you positive energy and strength. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 That sucks. I'll never understand cheaters, what a-holes. Hugs to you today. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 (big hugs) :( 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Entropymama Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El... Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 I'm so sorry. Many big hugs to you! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: you will be in my thoughts today 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 I'm so sorry. What a horrible thing for him to have done to you and your children. :grouphug: I hope today is brighter. Praying for you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 I am so sorry, honey. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mominco Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommybee Posted November 1, 2015 Author Share Posted November 1, 2015 Thanks :) A previous poster mentioned an online therapy option so I think I will try that so I can get some help to move forward. One of the hardest things is that I have had to work and homeschool and in two years my youngest will have to be enrolled in public high school so I can work full time. It's just so new for me cause I have home schooled the other two the whole way. I'm really bad with change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 ((HUGS)) It takes time to heal wounds like that. I know. And it sounds like you haven't really embraced the fact he is gone. You didn't force him to marry you. You can't force him to stay. And you need to be able to process that hurt, grieve through it, and then move on. I hope you can get someone to talk to. I don't think anyone who hasn't experienced betrayal in your marriage can really understand exactly what you are feeling. It's a circle of emotions and every day can be different. Try to seek out a good friend or therapist to talk to. ((hugs)) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiMi 4under3 Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaBearTeacher Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 ((Hugs)) I hope you got through the day okay. What a jerk he is. He lost because he threw away true love. I pray for your healing and that something really good happens to you in the near future. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 I'm so sorry. Sending you warm hugs and extra Halloween chocolate pilfered from my kids. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 Hugs. I'm sorry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 Remember that time for you. 3 years is nothing. :). I am on year 6 since divorce and even remarried and some days it still just totally sucks. Hang in there. It does get better. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommybee Posted November 2, 2015 Author Share Posted November 2, 2015 ((HUGS)) It takes time to heal wounds like that. I know. And it sounds like you haven't really embraced the fact he is gone. You didn't force him to marry you. You can't force him to stay. And you need to be able to process that hurt, grieve through it, and then move on. I hope you can get someone to talk to. I don't think anyone who hasn't experienced betrayal in your marriage can really understand exactly what you are feeling. It's a circle of emotions and every day can be different. Try to seek out a good friend or therapist to talk to. ((hugs)) Yeah in a weird way I haven't come to peace with it. We have a really weird relationship right now in that we aren't divorced and he lives pretty close to me. He sees the kids pretty often and that's good. I wish I could explain more but then I would be very identifiable. I really am much better than I was in the beginning. I know that one day I will develop a new life of my own. It's just so slow going. I haven't had one date. I don't have close friends to hang out with. I kind of sound pathetic but on the outside I look like things are great. A therapist is my next move if I can make myself do it. Thanks for all the good thought and hugs and prayers! Today was a good day. I think that next year I need to take this day back and plan something nice instead of going into my head like I do. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 OP, if you are Christian, the free group Divorce Care which is offered at many churches would likely be a great support to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: Sending good thoughts and prayers. :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clementine Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 :grouphug: I am so sorry. But, I think it is good that the text went to you or you may have endured more pain later. I'm glad your day went well - know that it's not wrong to still feel the pain from it. :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommybee Posted November 2, 2015 Author Share Posted November 2, 2015 OP, if you are Christian, the free group Divorce Care which is offered at many churches would likely be a great support to you. Tried it....I had the unfortunate luck to get a group that wanted hugs all the time even the men and it was held in someone's home and it just made me uncomfortable. It's hard for me to try these things so it took a lot that I did but I couldn't make myself try another group. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 Tried it....I had the unfortunate luck to get a group that wanted hugs all the time even the men and it was held in someone's home and it just made me uncomfortable. It's hard for me to try these things so it took a lot that I did but I couldn't make myself try another group.I'm really sorry to hear this. I had a great experience with no hugging involved. It was held at a church. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minerva Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 I am a little late, but hugs to you. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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