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How do you purposefully relieve stress? Your spouse? Your kids?


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DD16 has had quite a stressful fall and keeps getting sick.  People have suggested that the stress/depression could be a root cause of her immune system not fighting off common illnesses.  So, that leads me to wonder....how do you purposefully relive stress? I am not specifically looking for ideas for her, so don't feel like you have to make suggestions that are appropriate for her.  I am just curious what people do for purposeful stress relief. 

 

 

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I should be working for real right now. Code is done running but I also get sick and/or psychosomatic symptoms like heartburn, backache, tinnitus, god knows what random symptom I will get. And it keeps persisting until I'm like--wait a second, this is stress-related.

 

For me, listing the sources of stress is big. Here is what I am worried about. Here are the consequences I am particularly not looking forward to. Here is what I have not done about it, and why.

 

Then to some extent I come to terms with the consequences. Like, it won't be the end of the world. That is easier for me as an adult now having gone through some of the worse things. As a teen I was much more stressed out!

 

I also acknowledge that illness. Like, "My body is telling me to slow down and pay attention to myself." So I make a plan for that.

 

Finally I make a plan to address the stress, but keeping in mind that I cannot control everything.

 

Thanks for the reminder. I need to do this!

 

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It depends on the type of stress.  For short term issues going for long walks, yoga, deep breathing, making sure I get enough sleep, getting lost in a good book and things like that usually help me cope.  In general just making sure I take time to be good to myself.  Longer term stress is much harder to deal with.  There have been a couple of times I've needed anti-anxiety medication, and I wouldn't hesitate to go that route again if needed.  But as I've gotten older I've gotten much better at accepting things I can't change.  That really helps, but I couldn't have done it when I was younger.  Life experience is what enabled me to get to the point of truly realizing that mentally fighting against things I can't control doesn't work and does no good.

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- Travel - esp to new places.

- The Great Outdoors (awesome when the first two can be combined, but just a local hike or sitting outside watching ponies and life will do ok if needed.)

- Lately some computer brain games if I'm cooped up.  They keep the mind thinking without much effort.

- Sometimes a good book.

 

But my best stress relief is still travel.  Real problems don't go away, but they bug me far less.

 

Hubby also loves travel, hikes, water sports (like sailing/windsurfing/fishing) or working in his workshop.

 

My kids like travel (notice a theme here?), movies, and getting together to do things with friends (laser tag, games, etc).

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Just saw your other post, Tap. The Vitamin D deficiency will go a long way to explain most all of her symtoms, IMHO. How old is her bed? I know, silly question, but my husband and I were having a lot of issues with being tired and realized our bed was probably past its prime. New mattress and we were sleeping soooo much better and alo of our illnesses, stress, and never feeling rested went away in a week.

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Different people use different things. I do think its important to help our dc find the "thing" for them. 

 

Very intense exercise is what helps me. I kind of have to beat it out of me. 

 

Occasionally, allowing myself to spend time (hours through a weekend) reading junk fiction is also helpful. Immersing myself in another world helps me forget how stressed I am. 

 

My brother used to says skiing was the thing he did. The reason was because when you ski if you are distracted you can die (run into a tree). So, he skied to force himself to completely get away from the world. 

 

I know some people who practice meditation. Some people do yoga. 

 

I know a young woman who chose her college based on whether multiple ballet classes were offered. She had no intention of dancing professionally. She knew she felt the most calm in the ballet studio and wanted to make sure she had that outlet. It must of worked because she did well in college and got accepted to med school. She'll graduate this spring. 

 

I know people who say playing an instrument relieves stress (that would have the opposite effect on me).

 

Some people create art. 

 

 

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Hopping on my bike and hitting the trail for an hour or two is my best stress reliever. However, there is snow and cold weather to cope with about half the year so I have to rely on the gym during winter months.  

The second thing that really helps me is quilting.  It sounds crazy that being overwhelmed can be helped by STOPPING all the activity and sewing for a few hours, but for me it works. I can relax, think about what really needs to be done and prioritize my goals, and my creative juices seem to calm my stress. 

 

It's so funny how when I am most stressed I get more exercise and more quilting done than when things are going great.  

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Just saw your other post, Tap. The Vitamin D deficiency will go a long way to explain most all of her symtoms, IMHO. How old is her bed? I know, silly question, but my husband and I were having a lot of issues with being tired and realized our bed was probably past its prime. New mattress and we were sleeping soooo much better and alo of our illnesses, stress, and never feeling rested went away in a week.

Her bed and all bedding is just over a year old and is so veryyyyy comfortable. I will go hang out in her room with her sometimes and lie on her bed while we chat.  When even I lie in it, it makes me want to go to sleep.  LOL  

 

We are treating with prescription strength vit d, so hopefully her levels will be up soon.  She was at 31 so it wasn't horribly low, but needed supplement to get it back up. 

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Vigorous exercise, time spent outdoors, especially at twilight, I am learning EFT I will see if it works. Those are good things I do.

 

Owning the restaurant is stressful, but the year before we owned the restaurant was very stressful too. Dh's job was full of awful people, someone evil tried to hurt my ds, for reasons I could not prove but only suspect, and I was working quite a bit to pay for ds's college.

 

Bad things I have done to relieve stress are, eat rich food, beach gettaways where I drink too much, hide in bed and read junk fiction.

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Best stress relief for us is to schedule time free from work and other responsibilities. Make this sacred. Do not cancel it because of deadlines, exam prep etc. We always took one day of the weekend completely off, even during Finals prep - it  is an investment into mental health. Taking the break makes work upon return a lot more efficient.

We spent this time exercising outside - hiking, rock climbing, biking. The combination of physical exertion, sun light, focusing on something else, and the soothing effect of being in nature makes it more efficient stress relief than lounging in front of the TV.

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Yoga

Walking

Using the rowing machine at gym -  when I am really uptight I row as if I was crossing the Bering Sea in a dinghy

reading scripture

If stress comes from mismanaging time or resources, I sit down and allot time to various activities to make sure they get done when they need to be. Time management is crucial for me.

Being in the moment - while I am exercising I concentrate on my muscles, etc., and not think about the next conference or the next paper I have to write

 

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Going outside, sitting down and breathing in the beautiful California weather :) honestly. Or, going to a great day trip with my family.

Family movie night with fresh baked chocolate chip cookies.

Awesome, beautiful music christian music that has uplifting words and upbeat music.

Thanking God for his many blessing on my life.

Doing something for someone else and seeing them appreciate it. Totally brings me to my happy place.

Playing the piano and going into my zone :)

Blow drying my hair, seriously. Lol

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yoga.

 

years ago - I got a bunch of used brick for free.  it was covered with mortar that had to be removed before it was useable.  it was also a time that was particularly stressful.  I could clean (with a hammer and a brick chisel) about 10 brick before my arm gave out, but boy did it meet the need for hitting something!  and I had lots of nice used brick for my garden.  =D

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When I'm angry - vigorous cleaning. I see it as a bonus. ;)

Training my mind to focus on positive. Yoga. Doing something that absorbs me completely and refreshes - for me it's art. Sketching, watercolor, stamp carving, making journals. Zentangles are great for low cost hobby. Walking.

 

Deep breathing, redirecting the mind, warm bath or shower, brisk walk for the kids.

 

Shakti mat.

 

I've looked it up = :svengo:

Does it really help? Does it hurt? Could you share your experience with that?

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When I'm angry - vigorous cleaning. I see it as a bonus. ;)

Training my mind to focus on positive. Yoga. Doing something that absorbs me completely and refreshes - for me it's art. Sketching, watercolor, stamp carving, making journals. Zentangles are great for low cost hobby. Walking.

 

Deep breathing, redirecting the mind, warm bath or shower, brisk walk for the kids.

 

 

I've looked it up = :svengo:

Does it really help? Does it hurt? Could you share your experience with that?

 

I've never heard of Zentangles but after a quick search, it looks very appealing. Did you learn with a kit?

 

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Cleaning (which I don't find particularly soothing any other time!), meditating, yoga, exercise.  I have insomnia when under more significant stress.  I've found I need to quiet my brain by reading before bed, or watching really fluffy TV.  I normally try to avoid watching TV right before bed, but I've found when my mind won't shut off, I need fluff in the form of a book or random TV show to break that chain of thoughts.

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I've looked it up = :svengo:

Does it really help? Does it hurt? Could you share your experience with that?

 

Yes, DS and I both find it very relaxing. I often fall asleep on it!   DH just finds it painful and can't use it (although he only tried it once, so he didn't really give it a fair shot imo), so I guess it depends on the individual.

 

It is uncomfortable/borderline painful for a minute or so but then deeply relaxing. I guess with so many little spikes it is bound to hit some good pressure points. ;)

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It depends on the type of stress. I find that exercise keeps me from ever becoming so stressed in the first place. 

Going to church, praying. 

Spending time with close friends. 

Watching a favorite tv show or reading a favorite book. 

Drinking tea (the hot beverage.) 

Going for a drive, esp. when it is to an outdoor location where I can explore. 

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I started to make a list of all this wisdom, and then add my own.

 

I realized when I am stressed it is usually because I feel out of control - something in my life is happening that I cannot, and probably should not, try to control.  

 

Hence I find great relief in then controlling that which I can control - the ol' saying accept what you cannot change.

 

When I am stressed I like to:

 

run, lift weights, go outside (really frustrating in winter), journal, breath, listen to music, mow the grass (I love the feeling of accomplishment), organize the house, throw stuff out, blog, stretch and read!

 

Anything to center myself, and remember - everything really is OK.  I am off to the gym, as Mondays are so frequently stressful in our house.  

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I've never heard of Zentangles but after a quick search, it looks very appealing. Did you learn with a kit?

 

 

No. All you need is a piece of paper and a pen. Granted, if you have a nicer pen (I like Micron 005) it'll be easier to draw, but i think I started with a Fine Point Sharpie.

 

Something about repetitive patterns and a complete lack of pressure to draw something recognizable really does it for me.

 

THIS is a good website with a lot of patterns to try if you wish as well as the official site.

For extra fun, try white or metallic markers on black card stock. I love Gelliroll pens for that.

 

Have fun! :D

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light exercise

epsom salt bath (magnesium is a smooth muscle relaxer)

yoga/conscious breathing

probiotics

a delicious food treat---a bowl of fresh raspberries, almonds, and a few small dark chocolate bits or the like--something nutritious AND yummy

sleep---8 hours at night, 20 min catnap during the day

journal

prayer/scripture study

service to others

a night with good friends

planner time: write it all down, and prioritize.  Oftentimes I confuse urgent with important. When I write everything out, the anxiety of "forgetting something" is gone, and I make conscious choices not to do some things. Or, I rearrange with flexibility. I made a bunch of cakes today for a scouting event...which I am popping in the freezer now because they freeze well and time is scarce later this week. I only have this flexibility because I plan ahead...

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Exercise is huge stress reliever for me. 

Daily time completely and utterly alone to read my Bible and write in my journal helps extremely with my attitude and outlook. 

And taking a Sabbath rest, a day to nap, unwind, catch up on Downtown Abbey, read, etc. 

 

One of my sons went through a period (like 2 years) where he got cold after cold after cold. Just constantly congested. I think I asked about it here, in fact. It was not allergies and part of what he needed to work on was keeping his hands away from his face. Either his body was going through some weird immuno-thing where he couldn't picked up viruses walking past them and his body has now adjusted or the intentional washing hands and keeping them away from his face has helped. 

 

Hope you find some answers,

Lisa

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I walk. A lot. I crave the outdoors especially when I'm stressed- and I've needed quite a bit of therapeutic nature time lately as evidenced by my step totals. Our little town has a couple of retention ponds that have been designated a city park. It's quite lovely, wooded and remote. I can collect my thoughts, sort through them, and begin to hear the voice of reason come back to me.

 

I also *LOVE* my shakti mat. Dh has to regularly wake me from it.

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