Ewe Mama Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 Our cat, Gracie, will be 17 years old in March. She has always been an indoor cat and has turned up her nose at any cat food other than plain old Meow Mix. Other than two UTI's in her life, she has always been very healthy. She suddenly went blind in the wee small hours of Christmas Day. She has been steadily loosing weight from her normal 9 lbs, to currently 3.5 lbs. I talked to the vet when we took all the dogs in for their vaccines earlier this week. He said it sounds like kidney disease and that he would not be able to do anything for her, even if we did bring her in. He said to keep her comfortable and keep her things close by so she could find them (which we had already been doing.). He said she could live another day or another year, there's no telling when she will die. I was petting her this morning when I found a lump on the side of her neck. :( After watching my beloved morkie die in the throes of convulsions almost two years ago when her kidneys shut down following surgery, I really don't want my cat suffer like that. This cat used to sleep on my head every night and purr loudly all night long. Since she went blind, she is terrified of being on the bed and struggles to get down. She doesn't like to be touched at all beyond a quick pat on the top of the head now. She barely eats or drinks anything. We tried some moist cat food, but she still won't touch anything but the Meow Mix. She keeps going to her litter box to go, but as she strains, she starts gagging and acting like she is going to hack up a hairball. I suspect there's something more going on than we know about. She is very unsteady on her feet, but manages to wander around a bit every day. She has always been a very vocal cat and still "talks" to me. I think she is checking to make sure I am still there with her. She spends 99% of every day huddled up in her little bed by the heater. It is so cold here in NE Ohio right now and our house is so drafty. I try to move her bed to a warmer corner, but she gets so confused and keeps insisting on lying right by the door, where the drafts are the worst. Hence the heater right by her bed. What would you do, if she were your cat? Do you think it's time? What would you do/try to help her be more comfortable if she still has some living to do? Honestly, I would like her to pass peacefully at home, but how can we know if it will be peaceful? Our vet is 35 minutes away so if things become rough, it would be traumatic for everyone to get her to the vet. The cat hates the car, hates being outside, and hates going to the vet, so she would be beyond terrified and upset, on top of everything else. How do elderly cats express pain? She doesn't seem to be in pain, other than being a bit stiff when she stands up, but that is normal for her age (and cats much younger.) I am not trying to hold death at bay. I know she is fading away, but for her sake, I would like her final moments to be good, peaceful ones. How can we be the best, most responsible family for her right now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 If it were me, I would try to get a vet that would come to your home and put her to sleep. That way she gets her final moments at home. You can skip the car ride. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VaKim Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 Cats hide suffering amazingly well. Personally, I think the humane thing to do is have her put down. Is there possibly something you can get from the vet to do it at home? I think I have heard of that somewhere. By the way, I am one of those people who love my animals strongly and deeply, so I really feel for you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MotherGoose Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 So sorry! I don't have car experience but we had to put down my almost. 17 yo dog in May. I wanted to have him die at home too but it. Wasn't possible. It sounds like it may be time. She has no quality of life. Can the vet come to yr house? We took mine in but by that time he was in a vegetative state per the vet. . He didon't even realize what was happening.im so sorry! And I'm on iPad so pls excuse typos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 Will the vet make house calls? I would take her in if not. I'm sorry about your kitty girl. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethel Mertz Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 We had a vet come to the house to euthanize one of our cats. We buried her in the backyard. Others of our cats, we have had to take to the vet to be euthanized - while we were there beside them, talking to them, and petting them. My opinion for your precious kitty - it sounds like it is time to end her suffering. Hugs to you and yours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 I'd say either pain medication at the very least (if they even do that for cats) or euthanize. Poor kitty. I'm so sorry. : ( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 Um, I'll be the odd one I guess, I'd fire the vet. A vet who doesn't request seeing this patient is incompetent. A) It's absolutely not true that he couldn't do anything. My cat with renal failure had her condition managed and lived with it for years. B ) just because she may have renal failure, she may have a multitude of other things, incl incredibly painful but easily treatable things like bladder infections and c) if the vet examines an animal, they might fin things like tumors and depending on location, size and texture can often tell you what's going on without even a biopsy and help you make a determination of whether things are dire and there's a poor prognosis or if the lump is almost certainly benign and her symptoms are due to something else. There is no doubt in my mind that this cat is suffering and has been for some time. Changes in eating patterns, vocalizing jn litter box and weight loss are all symptoms of disease. It should be seen by a vet. You don't have to decide on treatments, you can decide on palliative care, but that should involve pain relievers (& poss an appetite stimulant). Or you can decide on humane euthanasia. I know it's hard. My very elderly and very sick cat died in October. One of my dogs is now palliative too. He is under the care of a vet and has pain meds and just did a course of abx for a painful bladder infection.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Charlotte Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 My sweet Charlotte kitty was 18 years old. She went downhill for a while, losing weight, forgetting where the litter box was, occasional blood in her urine. Like your kitty, she was a talker, and a loud purrer. She purred all the time. That was why I had trouble gauging her pain. When she stopped eating, I watched her. When she stopped drinking, I knew we were close. All the while she purred. After a couple of days, she was restless and I wished for her to go peacefully in her sleep. But, she didn't and I became afraid of her convulsing or suffering so much at the end. I said if she made it thru the night, we would go the next morning. That was a long and precious night. And she purred the whole time. Having her put to sleep was very hard, but she went peacefully in the arms of the one who loved her best. It sucks all the way around. I am so sorry for you and your sweet kitty. Don't know if I helped with your questions at all, but I wanted you to know you I share in your suffering as you go through this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 You can use this link as one resource to see if there's a vet in your area who specializes in home euthanasia. Your vet should also know if there's a vet in the area that provides that service. I agree with Hornblower that it's maybe time to find a new vet. There ARE things that can be done for cats with kidney failure. Things that will extend a cat's life a bit while maintaining (and sometimes even gaining) quality of life. Not all people want to treat what is an incurable problem. And that's fine--whether or not I would treat a cat in kidiney failure would depend on a lot of factors. So please understand I'm not bashing you for that. I am very much blaming the vet for not explaining all the options to you. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 (Hugs) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaillardia Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I agree with Hornblower. Check out another vet. This is tough. Hard to not be emotional about someone who has been sleeping on your head for that many years. You can do this, just do what needs to be done for Gracie. Prayers for you and Gracie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
City Mouse Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 last spring we had our 17 yr old cat put to sleep. It sounds like we has a slightly more aggressive vet though. When the cat was about 15 and started losing weight, (went from 15-18 pounds to 6) this vet wanted to do dental surgery when our previous vet would not. The cat was also tested for diabetes and hyperthyroid. Fixing the teeth help some as well daily thyroid medicine. We were given the option of more aggressive thyroid treatments but the vet did not really recommend them due to expense vs. benefit. The cat was already losing vision at the point,but we did not do anything directly for vision. The vet said it could have been damage due to high blood pressure caused by the hyperthyroid. Cat. Also had kidney/ liver issues and the vet wanted us to use s special food, but the at would not eat at all so we gave up. On that and let him have the. Food he wanted. A year later the cat started to have a lot of trouble walking and jumping on the bed. He was prescribed a liquid daily pain/ arthritis med the did help, but can cause liver and kidney issues in cats, but since cat was old and had problems anyway, I felt that the pain relief was more important. Then the cat started to have dementia issues on top of losing more vision. We did what you did and gave him a contained area with bed, food, water, and litter box close together. Then the cat started to get lost and cry even in that room. He would get under the bed or behind furniture and not be able to figure out. How to get out. We had one of those folding wall thins for toddlers and we set that up to keep him even more contained. The last straw for me was when he stared getting lost in his bed/Box in the small contained area. His cry was so pitiful. When we took him to the. Vet the last time, cat was dehydrated and the vet offered IV fluids if we wanted to wait a bit longer, but we had come to the conclusion that it was time to let him go. So I guess the whole point of that story is to let you know that there are some options that could have been discussed by the vet, but at 17-18 yeare a cat is very old and nothing will add a lot of time. Also we had to weigh the cost vs benefits vs quality of life for the cat. For us $20 a month for perscription meds for the cat was worth it for a while, but daily iv fluids was not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 Although couldn't the vet have said that thinking even if there was some sort of treatment a cat of that age might not benefit from it? I honestly don't know the answer to that, but I don't know that I'd want to treat a cat that age either unless I could be fairly certain they would tolerate said treatment and have a qualify of life after. Sounds like this cat has a lot going wrong besides the kidney thing. I personally would be skeptical of a vet who would claim he could treat it but was looking to charge me a lot of money for services that wouldn't amount to a desirable outcome in the end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 If she were my cat, it would be time. This is 'the end' whether it's days or months long... And neither you nor she are finding 'the end' satisfying or enjoyable. She is terrified, cold and hungry -- and maybe in considerable pain. You are grieving already. More days of 'the end' would not be more valuable to me. They would just be more painful. I don't know everything, but my thoughts about death are this: it is usually catastrophic, painful and awful. "Passing peacefully" is something that happens to humans who are under care and having their pain managed... I don't think that's what happens normally. If you wait for a "peaceful passing" you will probably get trauma instead. I hope that's not unkind to say. I don't mean to be heartlessly blunt. It's a mistake I've made and regretted. I think having a vet house call to put her to sleep is the best plan when you are ready. (I'm so sorry.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 Sparkly U - I don't think the vet should have said that under any circumstances because there are always at least two options: treatment or humane euthanasia. (or wait and see or treat symptoms or do tests etc etc) but to just say there's nothing I can do is absurd. I just can't imagine any vet I know not saying "bring them in pls". If it's a cat scared of vets, then maybe a house call or a sedative wd be required.... But humane euthanasia should be offered and encouraged if it's appropriate (after a thorough discussion of quality of life and prognosis ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 This is a quality of life scale used to help determine when it's time for humane euthanasia www.pawspice.com/downloads/QualityofLifeScale.pdf I do a rough daily tally of good day/bad day and try to see if there are still more good days than bad... Hugs OP. Sad times :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cakes Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 I am already crying as I write this after reading some of these stories. We had to put down our 15 yr old Sheltie this past spring. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. His suffering sounds very similar to your poor kitty. He had renal failure and was very dehydrated near the end, which was attributed for the weight loss. Hugs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 Although couldn't the vet have said that thinking even if there was some sort of treatment a cat of that age might not benefit from it? I honestly don't know the answer to that, but I don't know that I'd want to treat a cat that age either unless I could be fairly certain they would tolerate said treatment and have a qualify of life after. Sounds like this cat has a lot going wrong besides the kidney thing. I personally would be skeptical of a vet who would claim he could treat it but was looking to charge me a lot of money for services that wouldn't amount to a desirable outcome in the end. I agree with this completely. I'm sorry about your kitty. I just had nearly the exact thing to contend with myself. Mine would have been 17 in April, but we had to let her go late last year. She was elderly, clearly uncomfortable, and treating her further would have been for my benefit, not hers. If I could afford it, I might see a different vet, to be sure. But yeah, sounds like kidney to me, and probably diabetes, too (not a vet...just experienced with cats). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 :grouphug: Hugs because I know what you're going through. We just had our cat put down this week for kidney failure. Our vet gave us the options but kitty was fading fast. He was disoriented, had lost significant weight, and was having no good days. He could no longer jump on the couch; even walking seemed painful. In his last days he'd stopped eating and was barely even drinking. He only wanted to lay on someone's lap or near the fireplace. Our vet gave us the options; we chose euthanasia. We felt that kitty's disease was so far gone--according to the numbers the vet gave us--that his quality of life would not have recovered enough to make fluid treatment worthwhile. It was hard; it still is. My head knew it was time but my heart wasn't ready to let go. Our vet does euthanasia at the end of the day after they close to regular patients. So while it was agonizing to spend all day waiting, dreading, it was better to have a quiet office and unhurried vet. :grouphug: More hugs because just writing this post is making me cry. I'm sorry you're having to go through this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 I agree that it's time. (((hugs))) I agree to get a home visit vet to put her down. Cats hide pain. They just go away and wait to die. I'm sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 It's time. I am so very sorry. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Lots and lots of hugs. I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I like the idea of a home visit if at all possible. I have never heard of that. If she was my cat, I'd think it was time. I hate to see animals suffer and it doesn't sound like your vet thinks any type of pain management is even possible, though I don't understand that. Or is your vet aware that just getting the cat to him would be traumatic? Maybe he really thinks just leaving her in her current state and dying at home is the best thing. I wouldn't want my pet to suffer needlessly. I had to put down one of my cats. It was so sad and I grieved hard. But in the end, I'm still glad we handled it the way we did because he was just pitiful and it was breaking my heart watching him, knowing he was dying anyway. It's a hard decision. I hope you find one you can be comfortable with at least. I know you will grieve no matter what happens. In the end, I had to really decide if I wanted my cat to live longer for me which was selfish. That's why I made the decision to put him down. It seemed best for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 "She doesn't like to be touched at all beyond a quick pat on the top of the head now." That, plus the dramatic weight loss, means it is time. She is in pain. You must do the right thing, and not keep her suffering. She has had a long life with your loving family, and now you have to do the hardest part of being a pet owner. I've done this twice now, the latest just a few months ago, and the cat was only 10, but had a tumor and pain and lost a lot of weight before he showed distress. The day before he showed obvious distress Snowflake got on my lap and purred and purred for attention - it was as if he knew it was time to say goodbye. The next day he was miaowing in pain and very distressed. The vet agreed the time had come. I think you are there now. I have another cat, also 17(ish, she came as a stray 16 years ago, the vet then thought she was about a year old) who has an abdominal tumor. She is too old to do well with surgery to investigate the tumor, which is probably untreatable anyway. As long as she eats, poops, purrs and likes petting etc. the vet said we did not have to send her to the great catnip patch in the sky. When she is in distress, we will have to do the right thing, too. I keep hoping she just won't wake up one morning.... Meanwhile Princess is getting spoiled as "Grandma Cat" (her nickname) gets whatever people tuna etc. she wants, her favorite cat food offered at the slightest whim, the best spot by the heater, etc. I think the Labrador is getting jealous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted January 13, 2015 Author Share Posted January 13, 2015 Thank you all so much for the advice and support. Gracie had perked up a bit over the weekend, and was prowling and following us around quite a bit on Saturday, but by Sunday evening she had completely stopped eating. She also stopped "talking" to me last night. We absolutely knew it was time this morning and took her in to the vet. She never struggled or made a sound in the car throughout the entire car ride. She was very alert and listening to everything, but quite relaxed and let me cuddle her carefully. She passed very peacefully in my arms and purred at the very end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I'm sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewellsmommy Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 :grouphug: I'm so sorry, but glad it was peaceful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I'm so sorry. :( It is never easy losing a pet, no matter how expected/unexpected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I'm sorry for your loss but am thankful it was peaceful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 (Hugs) So sorry... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaillardia Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 :grouphug: I know it was a hard decision. I'm glad you were able to be with her. I'm also glad it was a peaceful experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GailV Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 :grouphug: I'm so sorry, but it sounds like it ended in a peaceful, good way for her. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 (((hugs))) I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 :grouphug: I'm so sorry...I've been there...you did the right thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne in ABQ Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 More :grouphug: I've been thinking about you, and just found your post that kitty has passed. How sweet that she purred and was peaceful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I am so, so sorry. You absolutely did the right thing. *hugs* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 :grouphug: So sorry about your sweet kitty! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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